Breakfast of Choices
Everyone has stories of transformation. And some of them include moments, or years of intense adversity, a time when it felt like there was no hope. This podcast, "Breakfast of Choices," holds space for people to share their true, raw and unedited stories of overcoming extreme struggles, like addiction, mental illness, incarceration, domestic violence, suicide, emotional and physical abuse, toxic family structures, relationships, and more. Trauma comes in so many forms.
Every week, as a certified Peer Recovery Support Specialist, Recovery Coach, Life Transformation coach and your host, I will jump right into the lives of people who have faced these types of adversity and CHOSE to make choices to better themselves. We'll talk about everything they went through on their journey from Rock Bottom to Rock Solid.
Through hearing each guest's story of resilience, my hope is that we'll all be inspired to wake up every single day and make our own "Breakfast of Choices". More importantly, that we'll understand we have the POWER to do it.
When someone shares their story, it can be unbelievably healing. And it can be just what someone else needs to hear at that exact moment to simply keep moving forward. So I hope you can find "that one little thing that sticks," along with hope and encouragement to just keep taking it one day at a time.
And now let me be the first to welcome you to the "Breakfast of Choices" community, a non-judgemental zone where we learn from, lean on and celebrate one another. Because the opposite of addiction is "connection", and we are all in this together.
If you would like to tell your story, I sure would love to listen. Please email me at Breakfastofchoices@gmail.com.
Respects,
Jo Summers.
Breakfast of Choices
Part 2- A Long Road Home Walking Through Fire-How a Father Reclaimed His Life and Family-David Levi's Story
Part 2 of David's Journey- From losing custody of his baby to finding lasting recovery, David's story is a testament to the power of honest surrender and treatment. When DHS intervened after years of meth addiction, David faced a life-changing choice – continue hiding his substance use or seek comprehensive help. His decision to pursue treatment in California completely transformed his path.
Though expecting to remain with his partner Brittany throughout rehab, their separation became an unexpected blessing. David immersed himself in recovery, finding a sponsor who guided him through the 12 steps and embracing spiritual practices he'd previously dismissed. A profound moment came while watching ducks in a canal, when he realized his role wasn't to control Brittany's recovery journey but to create a smoother path by focusing on his own healing.
The couple eventually reunited, married in California, and returned to Oklahoma with new skills to navigate the challenging DHS process. Through patience and consistent work, they regained custody of their baby and rebuilt their family life. David's transformation extended beyond personal recovery when he discovered a passion for helping others, eventually becoming a certified recovery professional and Wellbriety facilitator at the very organization that helped save his life.
David's journey illuminates how embracing Native spiritual practices, including weekly sweat lodge ceremonies, strengthened his recovery foundation. His story demonstrates that even when families are separated and hope seems lost, recovery remains possible through willingness, honesty, and a commitment to growth. Today, he helps others navigate their recovery journeys with compassion born from experience.
Have you witnessed how surrender and accepting help can transform someone's life? David's story shows that recovery isn't just about stopping substance use—it's about healing relationships, rebuilding families, and finding purpose in supporting others on the same path. Trust the Process.
From Rock Bottom to Rock Solid.
We all have them...every single day, we wake up, we have the chance to make new choices.
We have the power to make our own daily, "Breakfast of Choices"
Resources and ways to connect:
Facebook: Jo Summers
Instagram: @Summersjol
Facebook Support: Chance For Change Women’s circle
Website: Breakfastofchoices.com
Urbanedencmty.com (Oklahoma Addiction and Recovery Resources) Treatment, Sober Living, Meetings. Shout out to the founder, of this phenomenal website... Kristy Da Rosa!
National suicide prevention and crisis, hotline number 988
National domestic violence hotline:
800–799–7233
National hotline for substance abuse, and addiction:
844–289–0879
National mental health hotline:
866–903–3787
National child health and child abuse hotline:
800–422-4453 (1.800.4.A.CHILD)
CoDa.org
12. Step recovery program for codependency.
National Gambling Hotline 800-522-4700
Just prepare me for it. You know, like so. Going to all the classes, having to check in every day, having to call my UA color every day, you know. Getting a job, getting to work, paying rent, you know, gave me a lot of structure. At the same time, I hadn't had a car in like five, six years, you know except stolen ones, not your own car.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I haven't had my own car in like five or six years. I haven't had my own car in like five or six years and Brittany was still. I remember the one big part, important bad part about it was I was there for like two or three weeks and Brittany had a miscarriage and it sucked because I couldn't be there for her. She was going through a lot, you know, and my mind was racing about oh, I've got to be here. I got to sober. Is she still getting sober now? I don't think she's going to, but I couldn't, you know, not on the back end, I would just waste my energy on that. You know I shouldn't expect her to get sober because I put myself in a situation, you know, but she goes through that and she's still stuck in her mom's no car. But after working for like a month or two, I was able to send her's good.
Speaker 1:I graduated the program I think it was in late March of 2020, right whenever the pandemic hit. I remember everything was fine and dandy, one week, normal, and then I graduate from the program. Brittany comes up there and picks me up and I remember on the way home there was like going through Tulsa. There was like no cars in the middle of the day anywhere. You know it was eerie. Same thing in Oklahoma City. And we get back home, I check in, stay sober, and it was just a weird, weird process being in drug court right about that time. Everything went virtual. The only thing we had to really do was UA and stay on my like. I did everything on my phone Online meetings, online groups, you know, and even online court, like we didn't have to go to courthouse. But so as long as I could do the UAs, I was fine Pay a little something.
Speaker 1:My PO wasn't on my butt for nothing. I got on unemployment. Unemployment was going crazy. Then you know yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Everybody's on unemployment.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I with my drug, with my probation officer. She wasn't really on my butt about getting a job. As long as I could provide some paper showing that I was working. She would let me go out and do that once a month and one of my cousins would just print off a paper saying that, hey, we're doing lawn service. You know, I would do that occasionally, go most lawns with them in the evening times, so that let me slide for like a year, a year and a half, and I remember I got through phase one and two pretty quick and phase three was like I can't remember how long it was, but it was before a while.
Speaker 1:I get through 2020 pretty easily. I think it's like wintertime and the new probation officer comes in there and she's on my butt about everything. You know she's like things are changing. Everybody's going back to meetings. No more virtual, this about everything. You know she's like things are changing. Everybody's going back to meetings. No more virtual, this, no more outside. You know, under the table jobs I'm going to need like pay stubs bucking and clock out. You know you guys checking in and everything. So, yeah, she gave me some more structure.
Speaker 1:I ended up having to get a job at Nortec. Nortec is an industry place building AC units like commercial AC units. It was the first time I became a machine operator. I worked there for a while.
Speaker 1:It was a good time, too, because my two of my children, who I'd been away from for so long, back in the months of 2013 and 2014,. Their mom started recognizing I'm doing good again. They got to stay one summer with me in and I think 2020, that summer with me and then in 2021, I think it was my daughter was, yeah, they were going to come stay the summer with me again. And then, after the end of that summer, my daughter wanted to stay with me. My son wanted to go back to his mom, but his mom was nice enough, like, okay, she's like you're doing good, I know you got some time to make up to her. She's like I'll let her stay with you. I was like, cool, heck, yeah, I was like started becoming a dad, you know, again and getting her to school.
Speaker 1:And that year went by great. And the next summer my son came and stayed with me. So I had both my kids. They've been back with me. Yeah, my teenagers. Man, it's been great, you know. But I graduated drug court in 2022, of like, yeah, january of 2022. But it took me three years. You know, an 18 month program took me a little over three and a half years to get it done. Man, it was I. I remember the sense of accomplishment, the love and support I had on Facebook and for my community for completing the program.
Speaker 2:It was cool, but that all went out the window that night. That night.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that night Graduated the program, and that night me and Brittany were out in Oklahoma City.
Speaker 2:So was it like you know, we hear it all the time. I reward myself, so was it like I did this. I'm going to go reward myself, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So, throughout drug court too. I was just it's not like I was three and a half years sober. I got out of rehab, then I lasted probably. I probably got like nine months under my belt and then I you know, this disease is coming and cutting and baffling.
Speaker 2:I figured I remember that time.
Speaker 1:I drug tested on a Monday and a Thursday. I knew I wasn't going to have to drug test on Friday and Saturday.
Speaker 2:If anything, it would be Monday, it would be out of my system by then.
Speaker 1:I did that a lot. I did that once every month or two throughout the whole drug court time. It got bad enough to where it was every weekend I was using a method to clean my urine with bacon soda. That was horrible. I did that for a few months and it was really bad. But I remember that last six months I had six months to go in the program my last phase and I got busted for dirty UA, which sent me back another year. So I was like that's why I told Brittany I was like we're not going to do that, no more, we're just going to cut it off and be done.
Speaker 1:I was very miserable. We were both very miserable at that time. You know the cravings were still there. You know like I would go to AA but I would sit back in a corner with just on my phone. You know like get my paper sign. As soon as I get that paper sign, I'm out of here. They were speaking an alien language to me, you know yeah. So like I said whenever, yeah, it was a big reward. Like, oh, I've got my cars back. I've got two cars now. I've got like $10,000, $15,000 in the bank. I got my kids back, you know, like everything's cool.
Speaker 1:My wife I remember she was pregnant at the time again Like we tried really hard for those three years to have another baby she had to change up her diet really bad and go to the doctors to get it. I was like, oh yeah, I'm good. I was like I might have another baby. I got these cars and I got some money. I got a really good job of working, you know, monday through Friday, getting overtime.
Speaker 1:So in my head I'm like I've got this under control, I'm cured, I don't have no problem, you know. So I can do it one night, you know, and then that leads to like on the weekends again, and then within britney has baby, like in august of that year, but that time is like every day. It was so bad to her, like baby britney was in labor and I'm out in the parking lot getting high before I will go in there, you know, or like, if it's any type of break, I'd go into the bathroom at the hospital and use. You know it's bad, you know, yeah, so we uh we have baby. I end up just going through some some messed up stuff again, messing around with some girl and uh I get caught up with that with britney and we kind of split up a little bit.
Speaker 1:Baby's just a few weeks old. You know it just keeps getting worse and worse. I wrecked one of my cars that time in oklahoma city from texting and driving had a bunch of dope on it. I had to, you know, barely got through that a few months. Three months later my parent, me and britney, we're split apart for like a month. We work it out, you know, and um I think that's like I said that's definitely.
Speaker 1:Codependency is what allowed us to work it out then. Because we knew nothing about codependency, then we knew that we didn't want to be apart from each other, regardless of how bad it was like we wanted to be with each other yeah, we put this much time into the relationship, like now you know where you go.
Speaker 2:Also the whole thing of I wonder what she's doing. I wonder what he's doing. Like you got to be together because you can't stand worrying about what the other person is doing without you yeah, so yes, that was really bad.
Speaker 1:That was really bad for us.
Speaker 1:Uh, well, I don't know about for her, but for me it definitely was, because she was staying at home with the baby and I would go to work from like 5 to 2, 3 am you know, and, man, I remember, like at work on a machine doing the same thing over and over, and if I had earbuds it was fine, like I could drown my thoughts out with a podcast or something you know, or music, but they shut off all the earbuds at work. We couldn't use them no more. I think somebody got hurt, yeah. So we couldn't do that no more. And I'm just in my thoughts, in my thoughts every day.
Speaker 1:What is she doing? This and that until, like I think it was late October of that year, I was just in my head went for lunch break. I was like I'm going to go down this dirt road and I'm going to smoke a little bit of this dope. I'm going to come back to work, I'm going to be fine. And about a mile or two down that road I'm like I wonder what the fuck she's doing.
Speaker 2:And I just take off.
Speaker 1:I go back to work, I just quit my job and then go full blown into selling dope again.
Speaker 2:And what?
Speaker 1:was she doing? She was sitting home with her friend. You know, they were just hanging out there, they didn't leave, they weren't doing nothing. It was just all my own personal bullshit. I was guilty, yeah.
Speaker 2:You were on your bullshit, David.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I projected onto her like she's doing you know, yeah, and uh, I see that now you know I was like man, so but yeah, so I still have a car. Then we still got a little bit of money. I get back on on on unemployment and this was in 2020, 23,. I think it was no 22. What is 22? I think it's 23. Yeah, it's 23.
Speaker 1:And my addiction is crazy. And my addiction is crazy. I'm actually selling dope for her best friend and her best friend just has happened to get a lot of dope needed help moving it. But also my gambling addiction is going crazy. I remember I was on unemployment from January until June or July of that year and I got paid every Monday at midnight and every Monday at midnight I would go get a sack and I'd go to the casino and by 7 am I'd be broke, except for two weeks of that entire time where I'd actually buy diapers and give Brittany some money, you know, but any other time I would just blow it, and then I'd be playing catch up all week having to go sell some dope, having to go sell this pawing, this Paul Nat, you know, and he's making his meet, and it started getting bad Like I remember the same time Brittany's mom, we moved her back to the El Reno area.
Speaker 1:Her two little sisters come in to play. They were living with her aunt and it got so bad with them that her aunt was just like through with them, you know. So the girls come back to El Reno and it's around like April or May. We get the girls settled in at school here and they're the same age as my daughter, so plus we have.
Speaker 1:It's just crazy, like me and Brittany would leave the baby with the girls and go out on a bender for like two, three days, you know, and the first few times it might have been okay, but then the girls would start getting tired of it, you know. So one of the girls ends up running away in like June Around the same time I wrecked my car. It gets repoed. I'm running out of money. You know. I remember I go to jail again for lying to the police about my name. We got pulled over, been a few days in jail for that and that was that was sucked, because for a while there, from like 15 to 17, 18, I was getting thrown in like every few months 15 to 17, 18, I was getting thrown in like every few months, but then from like I didn't go to jail, from like 2019 to like 24.
Speaker 1:I was like I was cool, that was a long time for me not to go to jail. Then I go to jail again.
Speaker 2:And you know how it starts. Like you said earlier, I wasn't getting no charges. I never got in trouble. I wasn't in trouble. Once you start, it's like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. It's like how is this happening? Like I've never been in trouble in my life and now I have seven charges. It happens like that, doesn't it?
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I'm sitting there and I was like, oh man, I was like I'm going to be on tour again, man, I'm going to miss my baby. She's just a couple months old. I'm like, damn, you know, and I didn't think it was possible. I thought I would have a hole here, hole there, but I was just used to it. That's another reason why I lied to the police, because I was just used to being paranoid and having all these warrants, like if I just told the cops my real name, I wouldn't even have been arrested, I didn't even have no war was a bold-faced line to that cop too.
Speaker 2:Fake everything Social, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just a little. Sometimes it works. It's worked a few times, but not that time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, your purple face didn't do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that was in June and I remember I came out of jail, brittany got me out of jail and we're walking. We said we have no car at this time. Car's been repoed. We don't have any money. We're just living off the money we get from our friend. Our friend is really there for us. So, like I said, she was just selling a lot of dope. It was dope money, but she would throw us something every now and then we got able to make some money. But I remember walking home with Brittany and I'm like so is this something I need to tell you? I'm like what she's like? Did you handle that? And she's like well, yeah, she was like Emily told DHS that we were selling a bunch of dope at the apartment.
Speaker 1:Baby was around, all of it, you know, and this and that. And I was like what? She was like, yeah, she goes, but she goes. I told she goes. I talked to DHS and told them that we don't live there, we live at your mom's with baby. And I was like, okay, and I was like that's crazy. I didn't think much of it, you know. And then no, so and then Emily told DHS too that we've been trapped with getting a lot of drugs and fentanyl and stuff like that. And I'm like man, I was like that's crazy. She said that shit Like. But a lot of it was real, a lot of it was almost all true. You I said okay, here's the plan. We're just going to pump the brakes. We're not going back over to your mom's apartment, we're not dealing with your friend, no more, we're just going to sit at my mom's until this blows over and chill. So we do that. We kind of stay at my mom's. We're still using, but we're not out and about doing all kinds of crazy stuff.
Speaker 1:And I remember it was like June, july 21st. Mom, my little brother, shows up and he takes my mom to go eat dinner or go eat lunch and they take baby with them to go. They go to Isons or something like that. And about that time me and Brittany are in the back room. We get a knock at the door and it's a DHS lady and she comes in there and she interviews us. There's two of them. They interview us in separate rooms. We're just lying to our teeth.
Speaker 1:But I was kind of honest with them. I was like I used to have a drug problem, but now I'm okay. Towards the end of the conversation she was like, would you mind if we could take a UA? And I was like no. I was like no. I was like is it court ordered? And she's like no. I was like well, I'm not taking one unless it's court ordered, and it just raised suspicion for them, you know.
Speaker 1:So, like that's what started the DHS case with us, brittany agreed to take one, but I knew that if we took one that they would take baby right then and there, you know, in my mind I was kind of thinking like it's going to allow me enough time to call my sisters, who have been drug-free their whole lives. You know, they can show up and maybe baby won't have to go into DHS's care. Yeah, because I already knew in my mind it's like they're going to take baby because we're high. Even if we take a test today or tomorrow, baby's going to go to. Yeah. But luckily my sister, rosie, pulled up within a few minutes.
Speaker 1:Baby went over there and it was a big scene. My little brother, who really looks up to me, was there, and my mom. Everybody thinks like I've been out of jail for like a year and a half now, you know, and everybody thinks I'm still sober. That's how good my dance was During that time. I wasn't losing no weight, I wasn't getting skinny. You know, I was hiding it all.
Speaker 1:And I remember my mom and my little brother show up and my mom was like what's the deal? What's going on? I was like mom, they're here. They think we're using drugs and selling drugs. She was like what? You're sober. I was like what's the problem? I was like they want me to take a UA. My mom was like just take your goddamn UA. I'm like mom, fuck, I'm about to fail that shit if I do Chill. She was like what? He kind of kicks me out of the house and tells me to start packing my shit. And my little brother recognizes what's going on. He's like I knew you was a fucking stupid-ass man. You and that fucking bitch. Get the fuck out of the house. You know like DHS is right there with all this going on, oh man.
Speaker 1:We've been like trying to calm everybody down, I'd have a panic attack. You know, me and Brittany pack our stuff, baby leaves, with Rosie leaving pissed off. And this is like the summertime, july, you know, it's hot middle of the day, yeah. And I remember like my mom kicks us out of the house and she's crying and crying because baby just got taken. She's like don't fucking come back over here until you get that fucking baby back. Do whatever the fuck you gotta do to get that baby back. I'm like, okay, okay, okay, I'll do, I'll do it, you know.
Speaker 1:And I remember britney's already walking down the street and I'm like, damn, do I stay here with my mom or do I leave? Because I could have stayed there with my mom, but she said Brittany couldn't stay. I'm like, nah, I was like man, I got into the situation with her, I'm not going to abandon her, I'm going to stick with her, I'm going to go with her and hopefully we can work through this somehow, you know. So we end up walking to her mom's and yeah, we, our friends, show up and kind of just smoke the pain away, you know, for a few hours. Then one of my big cousins shows up over there and he's like, come outside.
Speaker 1:I'm like, okay, so I come out there with him and he's like hopping the truck and he's been like my closest cousin since we were a little bitty. We're like a few months apart, you know. And our trajectory was kind of the same until I started using drugs. You know family, marriage, all that you know. Family, yeah, marriage, all that you know. But then once I started using, I went this way he stayed on the right path. Now he owns a lot of land and, uh, out of country, you know, takes care of kids, been married the whole time. So he pulls up on me and he's like let's go for it, let's go for a ride. Okay, we go for a ride for like probably an hour and he's just talking to me, just talking, talking, talking, you know are you hearing or are you just?
Speaker 2:I'm definitely hearing it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely hearing it, because it's coming from him and he's he said some good things. He said, uh, he said you know, I think the one thing he said is like you know, this ain't gonna be the end of your story. He's like you can rewrite your story anytime you want. He was like you have an opportunity to to write all of this right here, right now. He's like you know what he says. It may be hard to do, but I think you should go get help.
Speaker 1:He said I've been seeing a lot of people going out to California that have been getting help and he's like there's a way to do it. He's like you could fly out there to California and get the help. We need to come back. Everything's going to be okay. He was like you just got to be willing to seek out the help. I'm like, yeah, he's like, with or without that girl, with or without her, he's like you have to do this for you. I'm like, all right, he's like you know what I'm saying. He's like he's asked for help. He said find somebody that can help you, do it with or without her. I'm like, okay, cool, he drops me back off and I called my friend Barry, the one I came and spoke to the other day Because, like I said, barry had been. He was out in California for a few years Now. He was back and he was like the guy at our tribe that when people needed help he would be the one to call.
Speaker 1:So I called Barry and I remember the conversation. I was like, hey, bro, you still got that California Connect. He was like oh, yeah, hey, bro, you still got that, that california connect. He was like oh, yeah, yeah, I got it, bro. He's like, yeah, he's off, I'll text you a number right now. And then another one of my friends, randy, was out in california. He's still out california now. I messaged randy on instagram. I was like hey, bro, I asked the same question you got that connection to california, I need help. He's like yeah, yeah, I got you, I'll send you a number right now. And about the same time they both sent me Justin Evans' number. Both of them sent me Justin's number. So I was like, oh, that's a sign I got to call this guy. I got to call him.
Speaker 1:So that night I remember, when my cousin was dropping me back off, brittany had already left with her friends somewhere. I don't know where they went. I think they were going to Luck Star and they were going to the city. So he took me to my mom's. And my cousin Debo was like make, they were going to Lucky Start and they were going to the city. So he took me to my mom's and my cousin Debo was like make that call. You need to get out there inside the house. Make that call right now. And then Barry told me the same thing Just call him and tell him what's going on. Tell him what you're going through, he'll see what options are there. So I get on the phone with Justin and talk with him for like 20, 30 minutes, tell him what's going on.
Speaker 1:I honestly was like I don't think I can beat DHS. I don't think it's possible. I don't think I'm too far gone. I don't think I'm going to lose my baby. I've already lost my kids before. I think it's going to happen again. I don't know if I can handle this. I can't do this without help.
Speaker 1:I told him about Brittany and Brittany was not up for it because I mentioned it a few times to go to California, like during that day or so when she was trying to hear. So Justin was telling me I said do you have a couples facility? He's like yeah, yeah, we got a couple if we can send you two. And I was like he's like whatever, he's just a little different. I was like well, what do you mean? He's like well, if you want to go, I can have you on a flight. In the morning he said but if you want to do a couple of splits, it might probably be a few weeks, might be a month or so to get a couple beds open. I'm like fuck. I said okay, yeah, I said give me time. In the morning I said I'm going to go with Brittany tonight, I'm going to try to talk her into going and I'll give you, I'll let you know by the end of tomorrow morning about what we want to do.
Speaker 1:Brittany pulls up with her friends and I try to get her out of the car. She didn't want to get out of the car I had. Like I was determined to talk her into going. Like I'm not going to do this without her. Like I can talk this big game and say that I'm going to do this without her, but ultimately like I don't want to do any of this without her. I love her. I don't want to do life without her. I don't want to get better with her. I don't want to get worse. I don't want to get better without her. I don't want to get worse without her. I want to do everything with her. She don't want to get out. I'm like, okay, let's do it Brittany's way, fuck it, let's do it Brittany's way. You think I'm not down to just go out and just wreck my life? Let's go. That's easy. I've done that multiple times. Let's go. So we jump in the car and my plan was like you know, I'm just going to just sit by her and do whatever they want to do all night until there's a time whenever I can. Just it's going to be me and Brittany by ourselves and I can talk to her seriously about California and hopefully I can talk her into it. But if she don't want to do it tonight, fuck her, and hopefully I can talk her into it. But if she don't want to do it tonight, fuck her, I'm going to go.
Speaker 1:So we ended up down at the courts pretty rough part of Oklahoma City for a few hours getting high, our friend there. She ends up leaving. So we have to catch a ride up to Edmond, to where her brother was staying. It's probably like 2 o'clock in the morning, nice part of Edmond. When we get there, her brother and them aren't there. So we end up having to sit on the porch waiting on them for a couple of hours and phone dies, both of our phones die, we have no charge and we'd have no money. We have anything to smoke. It just got real. Yeah, she just got real.
Speaker 1:Like fine, I'm sitting like did all this shit really just happen? You know, and I sit up and talk to britney. I'm like, hey, let's talk about something. She's like I'm not trying to hear that cal bullshit. I was like no, I was like we need to really fucking talk about it. Quit, fucking bullshit and just hear me out. Shit. Let's look at the facts. We're sitting over here on this porch. We don't have no phone, we don't have no money, we don't have no job. Our daughter literally just got taken. Our other girls ran off.
Speaker 1:I was like we got kicked out of where we're staying at.
Speaker 1:What the fuck are we going to do? Like this shit is fucking really just fucking happened. Yeah, like DHS has our baby girl. We need fucking help. We can't like what are we going to do? We're going to beat them. You know we're going to beat DHS, you know. And she's like we just need to piss clean. You know we can just take some clean UA and strap it to our leg and go do that tomorrow and take the piss test.
Speaker 1:I'm like okay, I said, but at the same time I was like what if that don't work out? What are we going to do? I was like, would you be willing? I was like what if I told you we could, you know, fly out of here and we're going to fly off into the sunset and when we get there, it's going to get to go to the beach and we're going to get to go to Disneyland out there and we're going to meet all these amazing people that are going to help us heal and get us through this journey and we're going to get married out there and it's going to be beautiful. We're going to come back and we're going to get our daughter back like soon, as fast as possible. She's like looking at me like for real and I was like I was really honestly bullshitting her at the time.
Speaker 2:I was like I was really honestly bullshitting her at the time. Yeah, I was like that was big.
Speaker 1:That was a good story. It was all bullshit, you know, like I don't know what the fuck we was doing out there, you know. But she's open to the idea of going now, you know. But our original plan is still this we're going to go to the GHS tomorrow with this fake P and we're going to pass this UA and then they're going to be off our back, you know, and I remember they go in there to talk to Brittany for the first hour and they keep coming out to UA back and forth. So maybe she's nervous about it or something, I don't know.
Speaker 1:But she had the fake pee on her too, and I did too. While I'm sitting there, my sisters are there, my mom is there, you know, and it was a really good, challenging thing, you know, because in my head I'm like am I going to keep? Am I going to keep bullshitting, or am I going to seek help? If I bullshit and I use this fake piss, nothing's going to change, because we were very toxic at that time For the first few years of my life fighting, arguing, yelling, no domestic abuse, but definitely a lot of just verbal abuse, psychological abuse, you know.
Speaker 1:You know it's like nothing's going to change. Nothing's going to change, like we're going to I'm going to be, we do this Now. We're going to be on their radar. They're going to probably come get us later on, you know. But they interviewed Brittany and they come out of there and I don't know if she UAs or not, but I don't think she does. She's still waiting.
Speaker 1:But they's all in there and they start interviewing my, my sister, and she's sitting there crying, talking good about me, like he's a good dad. He hasn't always been like this, like it's just, he needs help. He's got an addiction problem, you know, and I was like and then my other sister says the same thing you know, yeah, he's been a good dad. He's always has been. You know he's a good man. You know the step man's just gone a hold of him. You know he's a good man. You know the step-match has gone a hold of him. You know, my mom that's what really got my mom saying the same thing, like in tears and tears and tears. I'm crying.
Speaker 1:By this time I'm like I gotta get fucking honest with these people. I can't bullshit them, no more. I gotta get real. And it comes to me and they ask me and I just get honest. I take that, that, that clean pee, out of my pocket and I throw it in front of them and I'm like this is what we're gonna do. Like I don't want to do that, I don't want to be on any bullshit. No more, we got a problem, we need help. Like I don't, I don't want to lose my baby. Like I don't want to there. There I was like but we have a plan, we have a plan of when we talk to this guy, justin Evans, about going on treatment in California. I was like we've already got that lined up. I was like we just want to get the okay from you guys to do it. They replied to me like well, your story seems a little different than Brittany's. Brittany says I don't have a problem.
Speaker 2:She's still in there holding down.
Speaker 1:I was like that's what we there holding down, yeah, yeah. And I was like, well, yeah, that's what we're planning on saying. But I'm just being honest Because I'm sure that if you bring Brittany in here right now, she'll probably get honest. You know, there's one thing too about Brittany Like she had been with me throughout drug court and through many AA meetings, she'd come sit in there and I would always say my name's David, I'm an addict, and Brittany would never say that she was like my name is Brittany, I'm just here for support. She can never admit that she had a problem either, you know. But that moment we're in the DHS office, brittany comes in there and she sees everybody crying. And I remember that one moment, like right before I pulled the P out. I'm like I either get honest. Well, there's two things I stay on my bullshit or I throw the love of my life under the bus, you know which one am I?
Speaker 1:going to do Tough spot. Yeah, I had to throw her under the bus, you know. But when she comes into the room she sees everybody crying. And it was a very like powerful moment for me because Brittany sat down and she was like, yeah, I'm Brittany and we got a problem. Yeah, she admitted it right there. And they were like she said the same thing. We've talked to Justin Evans. We're trying to get into treatment, we want to go out to California. We just want to get our baby back. We also want to be the best version of ourselves. We don't want to do this life anymore. We've been doing it for so long. A new way of life.
Speaker 1:They kept baby in my sister's care and they talked about a few programs that were available. There was one program called Family Treatment Court, which was a six-month program, but it was a lot more hoops to jump in and this and that, but we could be done with it in six months. But one of the acting director of DHS for that office was like there ain't no six months going to keep them from being addicts, you know. But she knew nothing about addiction. She was like I think it's all a scam. Sending people out to California is a scam, like no. I don't approve of this. So she was against it at first, but there were some requirements. We had to do a drug and alcohol assessment, both of us parenting assessment, mental health assessment. Then we also had to pass 10 UAs in a row 10 business days. Each day you go through the UA and pass it to get qualified for this program 10 days in a row.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And so after we did the drug and alcohol assessment, it showed that we had an extreme case of a substance abuse problem you know whatever it's called with meth. When we did the parenting classes, they said our parenting skills were fine. You know, the mental health assessment was fine too. Neither one of us had any problems with our mental health, but it just showed that we just had a addiction problem.
Speaker 1:We needed help with that. We went through the process. We went to court again a few weeks later, a week or two later. We told them about California. But I guess they had some prior cases where people did go out there and get scammed. We told them. By this time Justin told us we were going to South Coast, accepted couples. We applied for the process. We did all the 10 UAs. Their stipulation was like okay, if you guys, we'll let you into the six come back and then we'll let you start the six months here. I'm like okay, cool, you know like we can do it. We said I'd wait like another week or two. I think we waited three weeks total From the time we called Justin till we got. We got out to California. So it was like July 21st, like August 15th. Well, those were like a hard, hard few weeks because once we sobered up a few days, my mom let us come stay back over there. So we're in the same bedroom all the baby's toys, bottles, diapers there.
Speaker 2:But baby wasn't there.
Speaker 1:Her little towel was there, her little blanket, you know, yeah, it's just not here. And her like oh, it's very depressing. I remember like multiple, multiple nights where I would cry uncontrollably the deepest, darkest cry I've ever had in my life, like you just grieved. She's gone. I'm like, oh my God. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't arrange my thoughts. I was just uncontrolled. It was like I was having a seizure. I was crying so bad.
Speaker 1:It's grief, it was hard, it was so hard. We get the call and we're flat out on Monday. I was crying so bad. It's grief, yeah, it was hard, it was so hard. And then, yeah, we get the call and we're flat out on Monday.
Speaker 1:I think August 15th was a Monday and we wouldn't have one of that. We were sober for like two or three weeks and we wouldn't have one of the last for all, or I didn't. I don't think Brittany wanted to. So I go work a little job with my cousin, which gave me a couple of dollars in my pocket. We had some dope, we ended up getting high and in my mind I'm like we're going to be in rehab for like a couple of months. I'm not going to see, we're not going to be able to do Me and my wife ain't going to be able to do anything for a couple of months. She's my girlfriend at the time. We're not going to great weekend, crazy, sexy one more time, you know, yeah, but when I get home that night she's so pissed at me for being high. You know she gets high with me and we get extra weird. We just argue the whole time All weekend. We just argue and we get to on that Monday, the 15th, they bring us an Uber and pick us up and we have our bags packed and I remember my sister, rosie, was there and she's the one that's watching baby, and she was like all right, she goes. I wish you guys the best of luck. She goes. I think you guys should stay a year, stay out there for a year.
Speaker 1:Okay, and by the same time, barry was with us. The whole time, every day, barry was with us and he was giving me advice. He was like I would suggest that as soon as you can get to a group, go to a group. He's like take notes. He's like don't become best friends with nobody. He's like fuck everybody, remember what you're there for. People are going to be clicking up. It's going to be a little popularity contest. He's like fuck them, just stay on your own. He's like when you go smoke cigarettes, hit your vape, go, do it on your own. He's like when you go to a meeting, this thing is like do it on your own. You want to do everything by yourself. He's like you're going to need to learn how to work the bus schedule out there. This is where you can get a free month bus pass. He just gave me links on what to do. He was like my temporary sponsor. He was like when you get out there, you're going to have to find your sponsor. He's like, while you're out there, this should be your goal. If you're out there, he's like work those steps, work those steps. I'm like, okay, we can do that when we're flying out there.
Speaker 1:I remember we went to Will Rogers. I'm like we're really doing this. No, like it's going to be awesome. Me and Brittany are going to be like we're going to go to detox together. We're going to get a couples room immediately. You know, we're going to go to class together. We're going to sit next to each other, hold each other's hand in a group healing together. You know, oh, it's going to be so beautiful. We fly in, we get to the gate and I start shipping. I'm the one shipping. It was my idea to go and I'm like fuck this, let's get the fuck out of here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'll do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we'll do it. We're on Meridian right now. We could go get high right now. Fuck this. She's like no, we're going. She's like shut the hell up.
Speaker 2:Let's go.
Speaker 1:so uh, as a god yeah, we fly into vegas and we go to get something to eat. I start tripping again because I wanted a cigarette before we get food and I run off of her I'm like I remember I was like in my mind, like fuck this, I'm in vegas, I'm still so stupid.
Speaker 1:I'm like I don't have to play poker or blackjack, I could just walk this trip down and make a living. I'm like bro. I was like this is hot as hell out here, I don't know nobody got like one cigarette. My phone is dead. I was like Ron, it's hot as hell out here, I don't know nobody. I got like one cigarette. My phone is dead. I was like I ain't got no money. No, I better go back in there and find Brittany and chill the fuck out.
Speaker 1:So I walked back in the airport. The airport's pretty big. I don't know how we found each other, but we did. And we get to, we get some food. We get to our next plane and I remember in that next plane there was nobody. We were still kind of arguing and there was nobody in the airplane. It was probably like three or four people in the airplane with us.
Speaker 1:So I was like, oh, I can make a scene in here. I started talking shit to her like you need to work on this, you need to work on this. Why are we here? You better be working on this, working on that, you know, just talking crazy to her. She was sitting there just quiet, not talking back to me. I'm glad she did. Yeah, we get out at the airport there and we go check our bags in and, like I said, my my impression what we're gonna be doing is gonna be hand in hand the whole way yeah, but some some tall, surfer looking guy calls britney's name and I see him and I'm just like automatically jealous, like who the fuck is this guy?
Speaker 1:you know let's go. He's like no, no, he's like she's coming with me. You got somebody to come pick you up. That's what it was. She left me with a cigarette and she leaves. I was like piss. I thought I was going to do, just going to do detox like a part for a week. Maybe you I don't know where I know him from.
Speaker 2:I still don't know where I know him from.
Speaker 1:I know he has family here in El Reno so I might have knew him when I was a kid, but he looks so familiar he ended up being one of my best friends out there. He still is. But on the way there to the detox facility he's telling me how it's going to be. He's like all right, yeah, you're going to be detoxing this house for like a week it's probably 30 days at another house. He's like after that 30, 40 days, you'll have a blackout for a week. Then you'll get your phone back because then you guys will come to the? U. You'll probably see your girl at the? U. He's like so it's probably going to be like a month and a half before you see your girl. So you didn't know that at all. Yeah, I didn't know that at all. I'm way out there. Okay, okay, I probably wouldn't have went, yeah, but he's like yeah, probably a month and a half, probably five weeks before you see your girl face to face. He's like but I let you call her every day. I'm like okay, that's cool. He's like but just take notes, learn what you can. He sponsor. You're going to have a lot of free time. Find your sponsor and work those tests while you have all this free time. I'm like, okay, cool.
Speaker 1:He's like then, whenever you get out of residential, he's like you're going to move to sober living out here, still come to group. He's like then that's where you're going to meet all of your Wellbriety family. He's like we're all going to be here, we're waiting on you, he, we're going to do a lot of stuff together and he's like that's where it's all really going to start. He's like, you know, I was like cool. He's like, but he's like, just hang in there for about 45 days. I was like, okay, okay, I can do this for 45 days. You know I got something to look forward to. Yeah, I went to the DSOC facility.
Speaker 2:It was nice. It's from Irvine Newport, all over in that area.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I remember the first day we went on a walk. I came out of the house. I'm like I thought I was dreaming. I'm like I've never seen trees like this, or grass so plush, you know, or houses so nice. I was like man, we're really out here in that house. I could really change. I could really change out here in this environment. Really out here in California I could really change out here in this environment.
Speaker 2:That dream. You told her you didn't know it was so true, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was like I'm just really happy. I'm like, oh man, it's nice. I've never lived like this. I've never been in a house that's nicer, ate food that's nicer, been around people that's nicer. I need to really do something. I need to embrace all of it.
Speaker 1:And I remember that first group. I probably slept for like two or three days, but then I knew I had to get up for group and I walk in. I didn't know what's going on. There was this Middle Eastern lady there and her name was Gaia and she was leading a, about to start a meditation group, and I was like can I join you guys? She goes yeah, yeah, come on. She tells me to sit down and I sit down and she's like she goes I just want you to be. I don't want you to try to meditate, I don't want you to push back against it, I just want you to sit here and just be here. She goes if you want to close your eyes, close your eyes. If you want to go to sleep, go to sleep. She was like am I supposed to just be here? I was like, okay. So I was sitting there in my head.
Speaker 1:I never believed in meditation, but I sat there and I closed my eyes and I was like let's go, this is it. I'm meditating. Whatever she says, I'm going, I'm doing it. And I swear she took me, transported me, teleported me to my happy place up in South Dakota and I could feel the air and I could feel everything. I could feel the joy I felt when I was in South Dakota. I came out of that meditation. I was crying, I'm feeling good. I was like, oh, there's something to this. Wow, there's something really to this. Like I don't know if she's a witch or she hypnotized me or what, but she's a witch but she hypnotized me More.
Speaker 2:meditation is real, you know, those are the two options, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I was like, oh yeah, so I'm definitely going to, definitely going to be open to meditation, you know. And then the next group there was this Mexican lady who allowed us to share our story, you know, and she shared her story. First she showed a lot of emotion. She's like whenever I shared mine, she encouraged me to let those emotions out and I remember like crying, really heavy crying. That second emotion, that's what she told me, like the power kind of like you do that, how sharing that story is very powerful, you know, yeah, so, and then she did that and she was like she was the first person, was kind of like the my second mom I had out there, you know, like she was like stirring with me, which wouldn't let me be on bullshit, but she dug a lot of gold out of me too, you know, a lot of the pain and hurt, made me feel good too at the same time.
Speaker 1:The third group was this guy, another guy. He was like a hypnotherapist, but he did a lot of mindfulness, opened me up to mindfulness. And I remember the fourth guy was like an old professor and he just talked a lot about the science of addiction and he was a great mind. I would call him like the, the frankenstein of philosophy, the mad scientist of psychology, because there wasn't an answer. He couldn't answer. A question he couldn't answer. That's good, yeah, yeah. But that started me off there. I was like, oh, I could do something with this, you know. And then I'm in detox for three or four days. The guys are crazy. They're man. I've never really been around. I understood my addiction and I understood the addicts around me, but we're being just like meth heads, you know, bunch of tweakers running around going to the casino. I'm at detox now with like fentanyl addicts, heroin addicts, people coming like really bad alcoholics coming up. They were coming down. You know I couldn't believe they were coming, having the withdrawals they were having. I was like it made me feel blessed, you know.
Speaker 2:But uh, those guys, withdrawals are are nothing compared to opiate and fentanyl and heroin and all that. Yeah, you're tired and all those things, but the withdrawals that they go through are pretty severe. It's very sad. It's very, very difficult, very sad, as you know you see, it every day, so you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that's my first time seeing it. I remember this my roommate at detox. He just got out of prison for like 27, 28 years and he went straight to rehab. I think he was out on the streets for like a week but he went straight to rehab.
Speaker 2:Wow, Now here's an older white gentleman.
Speaker 1:The first night I woke up like 3 o'clock in the morning because there was a loud bang right next to me. He was in the closet with like a big old pole, like ready to hit me. I'm like whoa, calm down, we're not in prison anymore, just chill out, relax down. He's like having a panic attack, you know. But yeah, we'll go through detox. It's a really nice house, a lot of food. And then they moved me to the residential house for like a month and they moved me to another place in Irvine.
Speaker 1:It was like a little McMansion, it was like a super nice house. I was like dang, this is where I can stay for the next month. They're like yeah okay, Okay, Like this is, yeah, like this is is I can do this. Yeah, like this is amazing. Compared to what I've went through in Oklahoma, like this is light years ahead of it, you know.
Speaker 2:The stuff.
Speaker 1:I was learning the accommodations, you know, the meetings, the environment, the locale was light years ahead. I was like, okay, I just kept further, like strengthening my belief in the program, you know, like belief in South program. You know, like belief in South Coast and like everything. We're going to like meetings that are way bigger than I'm used to. People are having way better shares than what I'm used to, you know.
Speaker 1:And I find a sponsor out there and it's a Native American guy who had been there for like two years. I thought he looked cool, he had a job. You know, I got to probably hang out with this guy. You know, if he out in the streets or whatever, I'd be kicking him with this guy. I was like that's who I want to be my sponsor. The tech who was working with me, his name is James Brown. I always give him credit. I always give James Brown credit because he did a lot of work with me.
Speaker 1:When I told him that's who I want my sponsor to be, he was like no, we're not doing that shit, dave't get the sponsor that you want. This is how it works. We find a sponsor that's right for you. He's like I think I might know somebody that may be right for you. He's like that's not a good idea. He's like we're not going to do that. I'm like, okay, I'll trust you. So he makes a phone call and finds out where this one gentleman is going to be at in like a week. He's like an hour and a half away, but he said we're going to go there just for you, dick. I'm like, okay, cool, that week goes by and we finally get to that night. We had to leave. We got like 4.30 to drive from Irvine up to where is it? Where are they at? I can't think of the town now, not Santa Ana, but right next to it, santa Rosa Garden. Grove Garden, grove Garden.
Speaker 2:Grove.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So we drive into Garden Grove. There's an AA meeting out in the park and it's a big meeting. It's like under a big gazebo. There's like 40 people, 50 people there, all with lawn chairs. You know there's people playing soccer over here, playing softball and pickleball. It's a great environment, you know. People all drive around on bikes, you know.
Speaker 1:And when we get there I notice that there's a bunch of Samoans there, a bunch of Samoans, you know. I'm like that's cool. Never met any Samoans like in real life. You know they look like, you know, stereotypical Samoans, you know, all blasted, they're all sitting in a big group together. It was like four or five of them. That just looked crazy. Like I would not fuck with these guys, you know. And it was like, uh, they're all sitting around this other Samoan dude. He's kind of like a bigger guy. I didn't think nothing of it but I was like it's cool to see that and it goes around and we share. And I kind of lost my kids and I'm away from my girl, you know, and I had to leave my other kids at home with my mom. I'm such a mama's boy and I don't want to be with my mama. You know, like I'm trying to find a new way of life and it gets around to the gentleman, the Samoan gentleman.
Speaker 1:He was like the last one to share and, man, his story was so much like mine Almost everything about his story was the same as mine. But, like, 26 years ago him and his wife were together, had a couple of kids, got them and lost them and then got them back and then had a new baby and the CPS came and took her from them and forced them to go to Nevada for rehab together and then they were separate for a while and had to come back together. But what he said was the big difference, the game changer for him was that he got a sponsor out there and worked the steps. And I was like, and he came back and he said the amount of time that he was at rehab was shorter. It was a shorter amount of time from the time he got back to get his kids back than the amount of time he spent at rehab.
Speaker 1:I was like, oh, that sounds awesome. You know he's like now he's 26 years sober, he's got grandkids, you know, owns his own business, has a house, still goes to meetings, a lot of stuff like that, you know, and I could tell by all the gentlemen sitting around him that he was real respected in his community. I was like, oh man, this guy has a blueprint to my life that I want has a blueprint to my life that I want.
Speaker 2:He's definitely the right person. You were right, you needed to be at the moment. You needed to be there right. How often do you say that You're right where you need to be? Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I knew it. I knew it. So I go over there and I ask him to be my sponsor and I'm like can I get your phone number? And he kind of just blew me off. He's fucking dickhead. You know, fuck this guy. You know like I want this motherfucker to be my sponsor, you know. And then I walk off and James is like how'd it go? He's like, fuck him. He told me to get his number from you. He's like, oh, I'll give it to you. I'll give it to you. I'm like, okay, cool, so we get back to the facility and it.
Speaker 1:We had to do it through the case manager. But the tech was like okay, I'm putting them on your ROI right now. I'm like cool. I was like, well, this is what really helped me. He put the number on there.
Speaker 1:James did, and I was like okay, well, I want to call Brittany. Now Let me talk to Brittany. It's been a long day. He's like okay, you can call her, but not until you call. His name is Vince, my sponsor's name is Vince. He said not until you call Vince. I'm like what I was like. He's like call him, make the call. He's like you can't call Brittany until you call Vince, you can wait until 11 o'clock when I leave and ask the other tech, but they're not going to let you call that late. I'm like, okay, call him. So I call him and he's like hey, what's up? He's like, yeah, bro, I was like I'm pretty serious about it, like I need to do something. I don't know what to do, you know, but I need to do something. He's like, okay, I'm going to tell you one thing. I was like, yeah, he's like the sooner a big book. I was like, yeah, I've got it. I'm getting one right now. James gives me one, a new one. He's like read this chapter. Call me tomorrow.
Speaker 1:I'm like okay and then I do it that night and then the next day james gets to work and we get out of group and I'm like I want to call britney. He's like, well, you know what the deal is. You're gonna call I'm gonna call vince first, then I'll let you call britney. I's like no, he's like call Vince. Okay, Boom, I did that Like I was at. I was at residential for like another two or three weeks, but every day every day was like clockwork I called Vince.
Speaker 2:That's awesome.
Speaker 1:But the first week it was like a chore, like I fucking I called Vince, but after that I started getting to know him better, that that bond was built. I was like, oh yeah, call Vince. And then sometimes I wouldn't even think about calling Brittany. I would be so hyped about the new little mission he put me on. You know what to read or what to do, what to add, you know. And it was great. So I was in residential for like five or six weeks but I was working the steps with Vince for four weeks. So by that fourth week I'd gone to my fourth step, you know, and was working on that. So the last day I was in residential was on Sunday. I was getting moved to IOP. I was going to be moved to Sober Living too. I did my fifth step with him and we sat down and we talked for like three, four hours. It was pretty cool. I told him my story, told him about everything you know. We went through it and it was great. It was great.
Speaker 1:You know, when we were done he was like do you know who Sunday is? And I was like, no, I kept hearing about this. Miss Sunday, miss Sunday, miss Sunday, and she's the one that does. She's one of the facilitators out there and she does Wellbriety. So I was like no, I keep hearing about her and I keep wanting to keep asking for this Wellbriety book. Nobody's giving me no fucking info. I don't know nothing about her. I was, but I can't get her number. And he's like, oh well, let me call her. So he picks them, he dials the phone number. It happens to be his daughter-in-law. Wow, yeah, so like he's like he's like Sunday I got this, I got one, I got one of these boys here for you and him and his wife are going to be coming to to the huge Morrow. You know, the transition was smooth, you know.
Speaker 1:I was still believing, but me and Brittany still didn't have a room together. So, yeah, we had like two and a half months apart from each other. It was good. It was good.
Speaker 2:But how did you feel like after you had some time away from her? Because you know how hard that is Couples come in together and it's like you have to take a pry bar. You know what I mean Pry them apart. How did you feel after having a little?
Speaker 1:time away from her?
Speaker 2:did you feel a?
Speaker 1:little calmer? Did you feel a little um, a little less codependent, maybe like a little more whole? Yeah, definitely I did, I, I. But I was frustrated at the same time because I felt like I was putting a lot of work into my recovery.
Speaker 2:I didn't think she was matching that same energy how did you know if you hadn't been seeing her? Just from calling her?
Speaker 1:Because we yeah, just from calling her, like we were still toxic over the phone, still arguing. It seemed like she was too worried about we'd be on a phone and she'd be worried about what other people were doing. You know this little stuff like that. I would ask her if she'd gotten a sponsor yet she hadn't gotten a sponsor yet, okay. And I was like, oh okay, you know, I didn't know what they were doing over there, you know. But but when we went to group, we were in. They allowed us to have one group together. We had Wellbrity together. They allowed us to sit next to each other, but she was very strict. No holding hands, no, pda, you's been teaching me how to do it now, but I never, like when you first go in there, there would be something about her that there was never a topic. We would go around and smudge and introduce ourselves and then like kind of whatever the vibe was, we kept going and she would just amplify it.
Speaker 2:I do that some days, David.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm just like I provide for this today yeah, yeah, it was great, you know and um, but she got us through a lot of stuff. She helped us through a lot of our relationship issues at the same time. We started couples counseling at the same time. You know, I hated that. I hated it like with a passion. Why am I? Why, oh, because we had our separate therapists each. Each of our therapists were in there. So my therapist knew me and her therapist knew Brittany. Her therapist didn't know me, yeah, and she was assuming that me and Brittany, since we were both native, we were both raised the same way.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:That we had the same values and the same outlook on life. Now Brittany was. We're from the same tribe, but she was adopted. She was raised in a Mexican family.
Speaker 2:Okay, raised in a Mexican family.
Speaker 1:So, like her, culture and values are totally different than mine, so that was the thing I tried to get across.
Speaker 1:But it came down to it. Like my therapist kept working with me, I remember like big time thing about my communication I was, I didn't know how to listen, to understand or actively listen. I kept getting on the defensive every time she spoke to me about anything you know. And so now, like still to this day, we have a disclaimer before me and Brittany talk. If she comes to me with something serious, I know she's like I can read her body. Now my language now tells you serious. I'm like do you want me to listen to help you come up with a solution? We just want me to sit here and listen to understand your feelings, or you just want me to shut up and be here? Yeah, you know, it's kind of what we talk. We still do to this day.
Speaker 2:That's so good for you.
Speaker 1:I'm starting to understand her better, you know. But yeah, so that's really what it was. I didn't think she was as serious as I was or, you know, doing as much as I was, and I kept wanting to drag her like this. First I'm glad we still had like a month of sober living apart from each other, because during those weeks I just wanted to drag her along. Come on, we got to do this, you got to do that. And I remember specifically going to an Al-Anon meeting in Garden Grove and there was a lady there. She was her and her significant other went into recovery together and they had been sober for five years. But she said the first three years of it were super toxic and rocky because they kept nitpicking each other's recovery, getting into each other's recovery, making each other go to meetings, dragging each other to meetings, you know, and what step are you on? And how are you doing this? How are you doing that? You know it wasn't until they learned how to keep their recovery separate.
Speaker 2:Yeah, work their own program.
Speaker 1:Yeah, work in their own program and she's like now. She's like anytime my husband wants to go to a meeting, she goes. I don't go with him. We still do one meeting together a week she goes. If my husband's sponsor one of his sponsors calls, I just get up and leave the room, she goes. I don't ask him anything about his program, she goes. I just try to work on my own happiness and my own stuff on my own and bring it to him, come to him happy, and she goes. I have faith that he does the same. I was like, oh, okay, I need to let her go.
Speaker 1:And there's another part in the big book too, like everybody knows that, page 417, acceptance. Yeah, there's also a part like 418 or 419 where it talks about your significant other just accepting them for who they are, you know, and not trying to focus on anything. So that's why I started 6. Okay, I love Brittany just for who she is. I'm not gonna, you know, good and bad, I'm not gonna force her to do anything, you know. I just have faith that she starts taking it serious, you know. And then, yeah, man, I think she started to recognize the change in me and started to recognize that I wasn't arguing or fighting, so much you know. And then, uh, she got a sponsor. Like the third week we're in sober living, she got a sponsor. I like the third week we were in sober living, she got a sponsor. The fourth week we got a couple's room together.
Speaker 1:And man, I didn't like that, like for real. I was questioning whether I wanted to be with her because she hadn't made much change. She was still very toxic and I was like I don't know if I want to do this. But that's where I talked to my sponsor about it and he told me the same thing. The lady said to me You've got to be patient, keep your recovery separate. He's like you're on your own path, she's on hers. God willing, you're going to come back together and you guys are going to be okay. I said okay, I was still having problems with it. I remember Sunday, one day we were standing in front of the South Coast. There's a canal there. I told her what I was dealing with. I was like man, I just want to drag her along and tell her come on, work these steps, you know.
Speaker 1:And she's like that's not how it works, baby. She's like that's not your role to drag her along. And then she's like what is my role? And she's like, right about the time, it's God's timing.
Speaker 1:So I watched these two ducks right here in to that canal and one was slightly bigger than the other one and she's like keep an eye on him. And she goes. That first one, watch how he lands. He lands. It's kind of rough, you know, probably really rough.
Speaker 1:And then, but the second one, her landing is a little smoother, you know, and he starts paddling real hard, paddling real hard, and she's just taking her time. He's got these little waves hitting him, you know. He's like bust through the waves and she's just right behind him. And then, you know, he's just like I could tell, like with that little duck he was going up the canal on a straight line and she kind of like veered off and went over by the side, was like muddling around, and she was like just keep watching, keep watching, and he kept going. He's just on a straight line and that little my dog looked and saw him and boom, it was like catching up with him, you know. And then after a little while they were just on a straight line and she goes. That's your role. She goes. Your role isn't to drag her along. Your role is to to make that path a little bit smoother for her.
Speaker 2:Just leave.
Speaker 1:It's easier for her to follow, you Just leave. And I was like, yeah, me focus on my recovery and my actions, that we're going to make her change. But I can't change her. I've got to. I've got to change myself and you know and have faith that she's going to start changing. And that's what it is. I recognize still to this day. It's like a 90 day curve, I think, where I started incorporating a new habit and she starts recognizing me doing it 90 days and she starts implementing it too.
Speaker 1:You know, like, oh, it's helping him. You know, maybe I should try it out, but yeah, so.
Speaker 2:That addict behavior, though, like you do in the beginning, you know when you were a beer enough, what's she doing all day. What's she doing, what's she doing, what's she doing. That stays in your brain, right, and then it starts you're trying to control everything, and it's that time when you finally just let go, right. You just let go, let go, let God, let go, let your higher power surrender, however you want to say it, but it is truly that moment when you just freaking let go, breathe and start your path.
Speaker 2:You know and you're either going to come together or you're not really Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's how it's been. I also had to put a set of firm boundary with it. I was kind of rude with it, I guess the way I did it. I remember sitting at a lunch table at South Coast with another couple and I told her I had to be real with her. I was like, hey, I'm going to do this with or without you. I would love to do it with you, but I don't have to do it with you, I can do it without you. I was like, but you know, this is how it is. And she got all set and stormed off. I was like I just had to set that boundary, like, with or without you, I'm getting this girl back, you know, I'm getting our kids back. I would love to do it with you, so, yeah.
Speaker 1:So we stopped going to so many meetings together. You know she started going to a codependency meeting on Friday nights. We would go to a World Friday meeting on Monday nights together. That was it she would go to. Yeah, so that's real good. We had a schedule of like, what was it? Monday, tuesday, thursday, friday, we'd catch meetings. Wednesday would be our self-care and we would just stay at home and do whatever laundry or whatever we had to do. Saturdays we would have like a little cookout, because there's two sober livings on our block and one was a female house and one was where we were at. So we were all really tight to have a cookout on Saturdays, and Sundays we'd go to church. I started being open-minded about church because I used to not like Christianity at all.
Speaker 1:I used to have a lot of resentment towards it. That was just a lot of intergenerational trauma that I wasn't aware of and I started learning a lot about forgiveness and learning more about that variety. And yeah, I just started questioning everything because there was a lot of small things that I was wrong about that I thought I was right about. But once I had my eyes opened by miss sunday and my sponsor, there's many solutions, there's many pathways to get this way done. You know I can't be judgmental about others you know, I started.
Speaker 1:Uh, I actually got baptized out there, you know in the ocean.
Speaker 2:That was really good for me. That's awesome.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, we're awesome I started once I, once I got through the steps, I think it's about six or seven.
Speaker 2:I was really praying a lot.
Speaker 1:I was praying a lot, you know, on a regular basis. I remember going to church one day and I was like it was like the week before I went back to move down with Brittany I was like I'm going to go to church today and I'm going to take notes. I'm going to see if I can learn something from this church session.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I did I learned a lot that day. I was like, oh okay, this is pretty cool. You know it's a big community, we're out here with the same thing. You know, I learned something from here. So, yeah, we started going to church on Sundays. We went to a meeting together on Sunday nights Magic House meeting. We got really involved with the Magic House community, doing everything with them. We started going to all the meetings, going to church with them and doing all kinds of stuff. The church we went to with Magic House, we were going to a church in Newport Beach called the Crossings. At first it just seemed a little. It wasn't a cup of tea, it was like, really, it seemed like more of a production than it was a church service. Yeah, so we ended up going to one in Santa Ana called New Song Church.
Speaker 1:And then yeah, when we walked in there, like there was something about it, I just see like just the whole vibe and energy, I was like, oh, this is it, you know, this is where we just start coming, you know. And then, yeah, all the whole magic house scene was there, um, and then that same the next night they had the first world bride meeting there at the church, in the parking lot, and it was a big meeting. And then I remember miss sunday took me into like this banquet area and she's like, yeah, come here and look, she's like we might start having a meeting in here if weather gets bad. I was like I seen it. I was like, oh, this is where we're going to get married at.
Speaker 1:We can get married in here. And I called Brittany. I was like, look at this, look, we can get married in here. I was like in September. And then she was like, how are we going to do that? And I was like I don't know. We should just start coming to church here with these people and start, you know, just volunteering here and doing stuff with them. You know, like, get really involved. I promise it'll happen. And, yeah, man. So it's a lot of work. You know, keeping my work separate couples counseling, also, like staying in touch with our DHS caseworker. We do like weekly updates and do you still? No, not anymore. Okay, check on the spotlight once a month, you know, but, uh, yeah. So we got married november 11th and it was beautiful, it was a beautiful ceremony. Our, our pastor, uh, phil aguilar, he, uh, he was my chief, he officiated it. His son what's his name? Um chill aguilar, staying at our wedding, michael fior, he was like there with us. You know a lot of people from mcgast we're all.
Speaker 1:We had a lot of food. We're dancing. You know it was amazing. It was so amazing and beautiful.
Speaker 2:So you kind of the vision that you had, that you saw when you were going there, really came true.
Speaker 1:Yeah, even like when she was at her sober living house with the females house. There was a client there. I guess she was rich, she had a lot of money, so she even took their whole house to Disneyland one day.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God so.
Speaker 1:Brittany even got to go to Disneyland. I remember the first time we was in sober living that me and Brittany seen each other after like two and a half months was that they were at Huntington Beach for an air show and their sober living actually drove them there in a nice car. I had to take like an hour and a half bus ride there, walk like a mile.
Speaker 2:But I got there, we were on the beach together.
Speaker 1:you know that's awesome. So it came true. Man, you made it through that that's so crazy.
Speaker 2:Isn't that crazy? That really is that's awesome, that's awesome. That is wild. And then you got married there, just like you envisioned that is. So talk about right where you need to be right.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Things happen for a reason and being right where you need to be and I don't know if you I say it all the time Like just I call it. You know, sit down, sit your ass in the seat. You're here right now. Put your ass in the seat. It's you finally start taking some of this in. It'll be osmosis, but right now, just put your ass in the seat, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Take it in, just take it in, be open-minded, you know. Just be open-minded to see what can happen. And man, big things can happen. You never even know what can happen. You know, you never even know until you open your mind for it. That's so cool I mean look at all the things that have happened for you, david. I mean you went and got sober yes, gosh. So when did you guys leave California?
Speaker 1:We left. So it was, I remember, mid-november. We got married November 11th. I caught COVID that week and then after COVID I was out for like a week I did virtual classes. My case manager came in, we talked and she said due to insurance, through your progress notes, you've been making a lot of progress. She's like you're actually probably the first client we've had to finish the steps while you've been here. I was like okay, she's like well, it's good and bad. I'm like what do you mean? She's like it's good, you're making progress, but insurance doesn't want to cover you anymore.
Speaker 2:They're like you're done.
Speaker 1:Our out date was supposed to be the 7th December 7th. At that same time when she's telling me this, I was trying to apply for an extension. I wanted to stay another month or so. My wife applied for that too. They ended up discharging me a week or two early, like November 27th or something like that, but my wife got the extension, so she was going to be there until December 17th.
Speaker 2:I was like how is this going to work?
Speaker 1:You know, like what's going on. I had just gotten a job. My plan was to work and save a couple thousand dollars up so we can get an apartment or something. Man, south Coast was great with me. They really worked with me. Yeah, we're still going to let you coin out on the 20th and we'll allow you to stay at the sober living. Oh wow, you still work, but you'll take UAs at the house. We still have curfew. Just go work, do your job, but Brady's going to go to class like usual. I'm like, okay, cool. So yeah, I got to just stay out there and work for like a month. That's very cool.
Speaker 2:Almost a month, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it allowed us to save up money to put it down on the apartment so that whenever we flew back, we flew back on the. I think it was on December 18th.
Speaker 2:Were you ready to come back or were you kind of wanting to stay out there?
Speaker 1:I mean with your family Last month. Yeah, last month that was a big issue, that was a big part of this was like we really want to get baby back.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you, know, yeah, we want to get back to get this DHS case started, get in that program and get through it. Yeah, you know, but we still thought we needed time. So I spoke with my World Fridayite-E Sunday about it. So she helped me with getting me a house manager job for Liftoff Recovery in Anaheim. And then that was our plan if we stayed, and Brittany was going to become a house manager for a sober living that she had in Anaheim. So we're both going to be able to stay, but if we want to leave, we spoke to DHS. They were like, yeah, we can get you guys sworn into the program the first week of January, but you guys just have to come back. You're going to need your own place, get a job and everything and start doing. We're going to have to do the 10 UAs again.
Speaker 1:We talked to a lot of people before we came, made a plan of action. The biggest one was that I talked to my sponsor. I'm kind of fearful, yeah, relapsing. Yeah. He's like well, I'll tell you what you've made, made a lot of progress and you've built a solid foundation. You've got this new connection with your higher power. He said it's all you need. You have nothing to fear. He's like just stop fearing your addiction and start giving it the time and respect it deserves each day and you're gonna be okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just going to be okay. Yeah, just respect it.
Speaker 1:He said you're going to be okay. I'm like okay, cool, you know. And he's like you've got some money saved up, right. And I was like yep. He said then he's like all of your goals that you've had for out here in California, you've accomplished them. Maybe your time here is done for in you. He's I'm a phone call away. You ever need me. He's like so yeah, I fully believe that you're ready to go home. And the same thing with uh michael freer and my friend risky and my uh pastor phil. Everybody had like five people who I spoke with before I even where I made the decision my case manager, my therapist too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're all okay with it, you know, it's like I think it's the best choice so, yeah, I love that you were talking to everybody along the way and that shows that you surrendered. You know what I mean. You surrendered and you stopped working Dave's program. You were working it, you were doing, you knew your way wasn't the way and you were listening and you were open and you were taking the words of others that had been in your shoes and really that's what it takes, isn't it? Yeah, it really takes being open and not not trying to run everything. Yeah, and that's hard. That's hard for people letting go of that control and just surrendering to the process. Yeah, it's really hard.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that was our biggest, our biggest. Uh, what's it called? Obstacle? No, not obstacle. It was like our, our anthem, our motto the whole time we left, for the whole time was like trust the process. I remember Justin Evans was probably the first one to tell me that Just trust the process. Cause I remember like before we left, it was weeks before, I was texting with Justin with all these demands, you know, and he's like, hey, just trust the process. He said you're going to mess up your program before you even start it. Just trust the process. I've got your best interest at heart, you know. Okay, so we adapted that. We were like just trust the process, trust the process.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's true, yeah when we decided to leave, we knew that South Coast had our back, that Miss Sunday and Magic Cast had our back.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And we came back and they all told us too, like hey, I spoke with my sponsor about getting a sponsor when I came back and he told me this he was like well, what's going on? He's like what we're doing. Do you have a problem with it? I said no, I'm fine, I'm good with it, I'm great with it, I love it. Whatever you tell me to do, I'm cool with doing it. He's like okay, getting another sponsor in Oklahoma. Something comes up and you need my advice. He said you're going to call me. I'm going to tell you what to do. You may not like it. He said then you're going to call your other sponsor. He may tell you something you do like. He said then you're back to picking and choosing. He's like so what do you want to do?
Speaker 2:I was like okay, yeah, I'm just going to keep a really good. That was a really smart move, Because he's exactly right, isn't he?
Speaker 1:You get to know him I don't like what he said.
Speaker 2:It's like calling mom and dad. You know what I?
Speaker 1:mean yeah Like frighten it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's really good advice.
Speaker 1:And then Brittany. I think she was on like step two or three and her sponsor out there in California told her like well, I want you to continue the steps, but it's better if you have somebody face-to-face. So when you get to El Reno, she goes Brittany, I went to a women's meeting the Saturday. Before we left she got three phone numbers from these people, three ladies there, and she still had that card. So her sponsor in California told her whenever you get to Oklahoma, find somebody that you want to be your sponsor. She goes, I'll call, have them, call me, we'll talk about what we worked on and then we'll just transfer over to that sponsor and start working, finishing the steps, like okay, cool.
Speaker 1:So yeah, we get back to on the 18th. We get to go see her mom and more, and it was really like her mom was living at her aunt's house like 15 people in the house, three of them in a bedroom jug still in the house, you know and then we go to my mom's house and we get to see my daughter, my mom, and then we get moved into the apartment. The next day we get all the bills paid and we're sitting in our apartment and we have nothing. We don't have any food dishes, we just have the clothes. We got at rehab and it's like 5 o'clock.
Speaker 1:I was like bro, we need to get to a meeting, we need to go to a meeting. Everybody told us to go to a meeting Within the first 24 hours. We need to go to a meeting. She said how are we going to get there? And I said I don't know. Call one of those women who you have a phone number for. So she calls the number and it happened to be my friends, jeannie and Shane I don at the meeting where Brittany spoke, wasn't he?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I did meet him yeah.
Speaker 1:So, jeannie, they just happened to be going to it was a Tuesday night they just happened to go to a meeting at Watauga and they're like we're leaving town right now. Do you guys want to go with us? We're like, heck, yeah, let's go. So we were gung-ho about it, passionate about the recovery, you know, and yeah, I went to that meeting that night. We just kept on. We just kind of just got in the middle of the pack, the A-pack, you know, here in El Reno. Yeah, I asked Shane, like a few days later, to get to know him better, like I could tell that his hobbies were something I liked, he that I liked, he really liked prayer, meditation and UFC and sports, ou, football and stuff, you know I mean, that's what I like, yeah, I like all that stuff too, you know.
Speaker 1:So I asked him to be my accountability partner, you know, and I told him I was like, really, I really respect the program that you work. So if you see me on any kind of bullshit, call me out on it. Love me enough to respect me enough to call me out on my bullshit. There's been a few times over the past year and a half that they had to do that and I didn't like it, but at the same time I had to been that.
Speaker 2:You've done really awesome. I mean you've done really good and hearing your story and just hearing your recovery, because recovery in itself is hard, recovering with someone else.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's really hard and and in the situation that you were in, you just lost your baby. You know there's some resentment there, there's some all kinds of stuff just tied all into it. You know, and you guys have gotten through it or working through it, right, it's always a work in progress, progress, not perfection, right. But so then you, how did you come about getting the group facilitator at South Coast?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, so, yeah. So during that time California Wellbrity was very influential on me. California Wellbrity was very influential on me. Miss Sunday, who ran the Wellbrity facility out there, that was another option that she had for me, Not just the case manager position or not case manager, but house manager position. She was also involved with a couple of other rehabs where she did Wellbrity at. I remember the week of our wedding Miss Sunday had to go to a what was it? A funeral in Hawaii for her grandma. So all during that week we were so used to going to O'Reilly in our singing group. The first day everybody was complaining and bitching about it. Second day, everybody was complaining and bitching about it. And the third day we're all like, oh, we're going to have a little protest, we're going to go into O'Reilly's room and just sit in there. And they got to force us out of there. You know that's what we did. We all went and sat down in there. I think Kylie came in there and asked what was going on.
Speaker 1:She called all of the clients there that were in the variety room Well, dave could do it, dave could lead us, you know. And I was like, okay, yeah, I could probably do this. You know, they're like, yeah, dave could do it. I'm like okay. And then so Kylie called Sunday and Sunday was like yeah, I think David is capable of running the group. She's like just let them do it, just send a tech in there with them and let them do it, you know. So yeah, the tech came and sat in with us and we just did our usual about it and like, oh, it was a great, great session. Everything just went super smooth. There was a lot of guys in there that cried, went through a lot of stuff that group.
Speaker 1:And it just felt came so natural and it made me feel so good. Afterwards. You know, I wasn't, there was zero anxiety and it just felt good. During that moment at that group I was like man, I could probably really do this, I could really do this, you really like it. But Sunday came back the following week and she was like how'd the group go? I said it went great. It went great. I would really like to do something like that for a living. She's like okay, she's like let's start working towards that. Yeah, she told me what certificate I would need. I would need like a RAD-T in California. So I started working on that. I got that within like a few weeks while I still at south coast. So sunday was a big help with that. Also is this another group facilitator named um mike.
Speaker 2:He helped me with the ratty and that yeah, yeah, that's what they call it out there. Yeah, and um.
Speaker 1:so I had a job lined up for a different rehab to do it a couple times you know a day out there. But we came back and when we came back we were researching what, what would it take to do it here? And yeah, so we found out about the PRSS. There was some white bison training for well-variety, to get certified to do well-variety. There was like two or three of them that I needed and they were kind of expensive, almost like a $1,000 piece, you know. But yeah, so I ended up, just under the guidance of Sunday, like going to my tribe filling out some paperwork explaining what it's for, how it can be helpful to my tribe and how it can help me get a job, and they ended up backing me, paying for the training.
Speaker 1:I got that first training in March and then I think I had my PRSS training in April. In March or April that's when my tribe hired me on to become the World Riding Facilitator for the tribe. So I started doing the groups here in my community like monday, thursdays and fridays right at time, and um signed a contract with them, started doing it and then I got some, had some more trainings in july, two more trainings for different programs. But during that time I remember aaron brown kept calling me probably every two weeks. I think she was the one as the head of the alumni association of south coast out there and she was calling everybody to check on us how's everything going?
Speaker 1:you know it's going good. You know we're doing this, doing that, you know, and we uh also started the the dhs program in january and we just kind of just slid through that and they also had my back a lot, like they kept. They helped pay for, uh, one of the trains and then just encouraged me. You know, I could do this, I could do that. We ended up. I remember Aaron and them moved back and they were working on remodeling the facility and kept checking on us. I was like man, when are y'all going to open? Because I kept trying to get on. I got on with Red Rock but then my background messed me up. I got on with another place in Oklahoma City, but then my background messed up again. But my charges finally dropped this past summer. It'd been like seven years. So, yeah, I think in August late August is when we finally like what was it? Dhs was like you guys, we got a baby. So we got a baby back in April. She moved back in with us in April for trial, reunification. But in August we were like are we going to shut the place down all the way? Wow, you know, yeah. So the judge, the district attorney, the family treatment court director and my DHS case manager all wrote me like letters of recommendation Wow, you know. So that looked really good. And then I remember we finished the case in September.
Speaker 1:I got a chance. I got selected to go to the World Variety Conference in late September but the week before South Coast was having a job fair and I was like Sunday called me. She's like make sure you get to that job fair. She was like you know, she's like we got you down. Your references were good. I had Sunday Downs reference, my friend Mike out there, and I remember Kylie, the week I graduated she had this mirror in her office and I kept bugging her about it the whole time I was out there at South Coast and cause, the mirror has like the same design as, like, my tattoo on my arm. Oh, wow, I kept bugging her about it like once a week. It's just like. She's like I'll give you that mirror if you win this fear award, which was like the best client If you, if you get your rat to you, you know, or she can't give me this little stipulation I'll give you that mirror and if you graduate I'll give it to you. So she gave it to me.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. That's awesome.
Speaker 1:She had like written a note on it like keep doing great things. I did, and I remember when we moved into our apartment I took that note and I put it above my door. I was like keep doing great things Every time. And then, yeah, I went to that. I barely, we barely, made it up to the last day of the job fair. It was like two or three o'clock in the afternoon and I seen Aaron and Dallas. I've known them, you know, from Southwest.
Speaker 2:California.
Speaker 1:And then I had the interview with Sierra and you know it was a good interview. We talked about everything and she said I really want somebody that's going to be able to get their PRSS soon. We're looking for somebody that's white-vice and certified so that whenever we do start well-brought we won't have to find nobody, we won't have to do no more trainings. She said it'd be also a big plus that somebody be an alumni and I was like well, I got all of that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all of that. And she was like, have you did any of this before? I was like, well, I did one for South Coast, like one or two, when I was out there, and I was like, have I been doing this for my tribe in six months, you know? I was like, yeah, I'd be grateful. And she's like, yeah, because I feel really good about this. She was like everybody else that we've interviewed, she goes they don't have the certificates that you have, or an alumni you know, or the experience you have and I, or the experience you have. She's like when can you start? I was like, well, it's on a Thursday. I was like, well, I'm flying out tonight for a variety conference. I'll be back on Monday. They were supposed to open up on a Monday but they waited a day until I got back on that Tuesday.
Speaker 2:Oh, nice yeah, I did the onboard and everything.
Speaker 1:I came in Tuesday at like 8 o'clock, 9 o'clock. It was like yeah, I think we had like four, four clients, then three or four clients.
Speaker 2:Just a couple of us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was great. You know Sierra, really, uh, during those first months or like before we came on, she was there with me every day. It's like, you know, helping with whatever. It's just like you know if you don don't think it's helpful and we're not applying it to your recovery. She goes, don't cover it. She was, like you know, just something that really works, she goes. I want you to really do something that really works.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she was like it's going to be a little long with you just being here by yourself. She goes, but we're going to get somebody on like a month, month and a half, to lighten the load and she's like you're up for it. Like you know. Just, I want you to focus on your own program too, focus on self-care. I do not want you to burn out. So if anything becomes too much, she goes, let me know. Let me know, and I'm like okay. And I remember, like the first two weeks we did all groups. I think the third week the clients were getting kind of irritable and I told her no, she's like okay, maybe we should do like an alternative program. Yeah, we're going to do something, you know Is that where Friday came in.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's where Friday came in.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah. So yeah, she's been there, she's helpful, she is you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she's amazing. She's amazing. She really is just so good about letting us do our thing, but being there if we need her, you know what works and what doesn't, so kind of do your thing, which I really really do appreciate. That I really do. It's been. It's pretty amazing. I think we're. You know again, you were right where you needed to be, when you needed to be there, even in that Well Variety meeting. Hey, I think we could run it. You know what I mean and that just happened for you. You know what I'm saying. And all along the way you were so open and so willing and wanted it so badly that those doors opened. I want people to understand that that change is so possible when you're willing. You have to be willing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, I think, willingness, open-mindedness and a lot of patience A lot of patience and a lot of surrender and acceptance for sure.
Speaker 2:You can't see it, but I have. The 12 steps are up on my wall and you know I've been in recovery for a long time and I've had some slips. I've told you I've had some, some rough times along the way. When my ex-husband hung himself, you know that was frigging rough and the only way that we know how to get through things as addicts is, you know, numb those feelings Right. And that was, that was a rough one for me and that was a rough, a rough time period and all of that. And when you know my friend just passed away, I'm like okay, no, no, no, no. You know what I mean. Like no, we can't. You're going to have to feel the pills, you know, and that does get hard but it gets easier. It surely gets easier to be able to cope and learn how to get through life without numbing everything, definitely. And so, yeah, so you and Brittany are together, happy, all your kids. Life is going the direction it's supposed to be going.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2:I'm sure every day is not, you know fairies and rainbows and all those things, but definitely a lot better than it was, right oh yeah, way, definitely a lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, too, it's like I said, we still do a lot of stuff that we were doing in California. We still go to meetings Monday, tuesday, thursday and Friday. We still talk to a therapist every two weeks. We had a rough time in October and November where we seriously considered marriage counseling, but I think it was just the apartment we were living in. We had five or six people in a two-bedroom apartment, but now we've got this new place and it's just so refreshing yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, all this stuff that you've done, dave, I mean like you've, like, really come a long way and done a lot of things and I hope you're super proud of yourself because you've really done well in a relatively short amount of time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I remember the, you know, whenever we were getting the case closed for DHS in August and September, the drug court director or the family treatment court director.
Speaker 1:She was like there's a few people in the program but it's because we went to court every two weeks or every week for a little while and every two weeks and there were other couples in there who were struggling. Some of them have been in the program for like three or four years. Yeah, yeah, you know, went to multiple rehabs. You know, went to multiple rehabs, you know, and I remember the DA the first court day we went to. The DA was talking so bad about us, talking crazy about us, but then, about a year later, going through the program, that same the last court day, the same DA, exact same DA was just talking so highly of us. We support David and Brittany and everything they do. If they were a poster child for what DHS can do for a family, this would be them. You know, and this would be it. It's like so good to hear that Wow.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And then my community has been very supportive, my tribal community. So I'm a very ceremonial man. I've been raised that way. I think sometimes I just forgot that's how I was raised. But now, like putting a lot of action to my recovery.
Speaker 2:So I go to a sweat every Wednesday, every.
Speaker 1:Wednesday yeah, and you're more than welcome to come anytime.
Speaker 2:I would love to come. I would absolutely love to come.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we have open door policy. Anybody wants to come and pray, so that has been very helpful to like doing that every week. You know that's where my self-care is and that's where my self-care is. It may seem weird, because it's a sweat, it's hot, how is that self-care? But I tell people too. I get to go in there and incorporate all of my coping skills in there Breathing, mindfulness, grounding, prayer, meditation all of that in there, like in a real life situation. And I just leave all of my anxieties in there.
Speaker 2:I love that so much for you. I think I've shared a little bit of this. But when I went to prison and the guy that I went to prison with, he was facing life and he was looking out that little window saying I've lost everything again, again, and I'm 29 years old and this is what I've done with my life. And his cellie next door was Lakota and he was following the Lakota ways and that's what he got Tony into doing. So he's followed the red road and so I've got to learn a little bit about it, a little bit along the way.
Speaker 2:And you know, I'm always trying to listen, I'm always interested in it, you know, and I love the books and I would rather be incorporating that every day in class, in which I do, you know, read a lot of that and have them read out of the dailies and all that, because I mean, I power is creator, you know, and I, I love that, I just I love that you do that, I love that you bring that, I love that we offer that, like just all of it. It's so, it's so healing to me, it's so very healing. I don't know if you see my cup. Can you see what my cup says?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm, I'm earth is my deal. You know what I mean, that's, I really really believe in that, that we were given everything we need and we just man has messed it up along the way, you know. I'm just really glad that you bring that to the table and I, like I, laughed in the beginning. I know you probably didn't know what to think about me when I first got there and that was hard. You'd been there by yourself and you know, here comes this little white girl and all of that, you know, and I get that Like it's. That's hard, you know, I hope it's so relieved.
Speaker 1:I was like God, I hope it's going to be a lot. It can be a lot, you know, with those many clients you know, because there's a lot of irritability then I think that's one thing or two. I've been a big thing. For me it's like recognizing when somebody isn't as far in their recovery as I am, being able to give them grace, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is hard, it is hard. And seeing when somebody's not there, to be serious can be hard for me, but I've also learned to give them grace. They're just not where they need to be and I just go yet like let's get. Let's get them there, let's give them some grace, let's try to bring them there. I feel like that's our job.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so that that's a little bit. That was a challenge for me and you know, I think having just having someone else come in your space when you're the one that's been there first is hard. You know what I mean, cause it's just that's your area. I think that's hard, but I think we've worked it out, we've done good and I think we both. What's really kind of cool is we both bring something unique to the table, and I think that's really cool. You know what?
Speaker 1:I mean, yeah, and the passion we have, I think For sure it really connects with them. You know For sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're just blessed and very, very blessed to be doing, I feel, to be able to do what we do, and just grateful for it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm just grateful to be able to be on that journey of recovery with others is really passionate. You know what I mean. We're both very passionate about that and I love that I love that for both of us and for the clients you know, and for the clients, because I know they see that.
Speaker 1:I know they see that.
Speaker 2:And I'm trying to work on not being such a crybaby. I'm doing better.
Speaker 1:It's hard not to, but I enjoy it Like. I know that sometimes we're doing a coin outside. I just look at like, make eye contact and the tears come up for me. You know grateful, you know just really blessed to be able to experience it.
Speaker 2:And seeing somebody from coming so far you know and some of them we've been with you know a long time and seeing somebody come so far from where they were and being able to let their emotions out and to share their stories and all of those things, is just it's really overwhelming sometimes, like it's really overwhelming to get to be a part of that. Yeah, I think it's just a really, really beautiful thing. So I'm grateful that you did this with me today as well. Spent your Sunday with me too.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I appreciate that.
Speaker 1:It's my pleasure.
Speaker 2:I'll let you get back to your family, and this may be a two-parter. We may do this in two parts, so I'll kind of go through it all and see where we're at and then, if you would do me a favor and send me the headshot that you want me to use for the promo. So Okay. So that I can kind of put it all together. It'll, yours, will be out probably towards the end of February.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Sounds good. That's what I'm thinking. So sound good, yep. Thanks so much, david. I love you, appreciate you, I'll see you tomorrow. All right, bye-bye, bye.
