Ep. 1 Resilience, Brotherhood, and Faith: A Conversation with Kyle Golden

Are you ready to embark on a transformative journey of faith, resilience, and self-discovery? Join us on an engaging conversation with Kyle Golden, a Southern Illinois man whose life has been a whirlwind of life-altering events this year. From undergoing baptism with his wife to becoming expectant parents and experiencing spiritual growth, Kyle's narrative is truly inspirational. He'll share his process of internal self-improvement, which he dubs as "Doing the Work," and how it has molded his life.

Kyle will also open up about his personal journey towards better mental health, drawing light to the significance of "Doing the Work." Hear his empowering story of working with Tina Porter, a counselor from his church, who played a pivotal role in navigating him towards a healthier mindset. Furthermore, he'll touch on the cultivation of a brotherhood relationship, early morning prayers, and how these spiritual discourses provide a sanctuary for men to relate to their personal stories and paths. Don't miss out on this compelling episode that's sure to inspire and uplift you!

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:44

You got a special guest here that I want to introduce to everybody.

Speaker 2: 0:49

Hey, listen, listen, listen.

Speaker 1: 0:52

We got the one, the only my man who can bench press your dreams, my man who loves God more than he loves Oreo cookies. My man, listen, we got. We got the guy on here, man he is. He's done more this year than I know in a lot of people. I mean from getting married to the Lord, just doing great work in his life. This man has been doing the work. He's a. He's a wonder in Southern Illinois, and I am.

Speaker 1: 1:22

I am forever grateful to know this man, and I'm talking about none other than my brother, kyle man.

Speaker 2: 1:29

Let's get it, let's get it. I don't even know how to respond to an introduction like that. Listen, I.

Speaker 1: 1:36

I, um I listen to my favorite rappers, kb, and I listened to his podcast Southside Rabbi. Oh, don't be hitting Southside. Hey, y'all check out Southside Rabbi on YouTube or. Spotify wherever I tune, but his podcast, him and his friend, I mean, and uh, they introduced each other and they try to get like, they try to go over the top and whatever. Because the Lord says let others esteem you higher than you esteem yourself.

Speaker 1: 2:08

So I want to make that a customary practice on my podcast, where I esteem my brothers higher than anyone else, because that's what they mean to me. Get it. So look, if y'all don't know, this podcast is definitely for men from our brothers. But we all know when you put stuff up on the internet, anybody can watch it, anybody can benefit from it. And we're not going to say that women can't benefit from the truths that we share and the things that we um uh develop, but we're speaking directly to our brothers because we want God to work in their lives like never before, and women look, we want God to work in you guys' lives too.

Speaker 1: 2:48

But we're here for the fellas and man. So the fellas for the fellas. Look so, kyle. Kyle, introduce yourself to the audience. Man, just let us know a little bit about yourself and a little bit about how we connected, how we connect.

Speaker 2: 3:04

Show about yourself and how you were introduced. So, uh, like Carol said, kyle Golden, um, from around this area. Uh, salon O'Noye, born and born and raised. Um, yes, uh, a lot has happened in this last, just these past. First couple of eight months um baptism, marriage, son on the way got a son come to November. God bless that. Um, my wife got baptized, my stepson got baptized. Yeah, the Holy Spirit really moving through my household, come on, but uh, in that, like I'm not going to say it's all sunshine and rainbows, yeah, Um it's not, it's not um.

Speaker 2: 3:49

there were definitely some struggles there, uh yeah. Some, uh, some, some true uh, soul searching. I guess you could say yes, um and uh. I guess how my journey came is uh moved down to uh Texas and uh, big state, the big state, texas. That barbecue down there Be hidden. Hey, I'm here to tell you.

Speaker 1: 4:12

I think Texas should be the show me state and not Missouri.

Speaker 2: 4:16

Thanks, oh, I didn't know, missouri was a show me state.

Speaker 1: 4:18

That's what I mean. It's a show me state, but that's beside the point. That's besides the point.

Speaker 2: 4:23

Anyways. Um so we just wait a minute. We're just going to get completely real raw with this.

Speaker 1: 4:28

Yes, man go ahead, so so. So this podcast is called doing the work, yeah, and before you get started, so you should have a little bit about yourself. My man's, he's, he's, he's newly married, uh, expecting uh to be a father, and um was recently baptized and your walk with the Lord has just kind of taken off, oh, yeah, it's just kind of taken off. So, and um, and doing the word podcast. What I want people to understand is that the idea behind this podcast, right, was a combination of things. One it was.

Speaker 1: 5:03

My spiritual mother was like yo, you and your wife need to do a podcast. And I was like, all right, at some point we'll do one. But then, man, just from the conversations that my brothers and I have in our morning prayers, it'd be so live y'all Morning like y'all gonna meet my other brother, stan, who, like it, started with Stan, then Kyle joined and I got a couple of other brothers that I converse with in the morning for prayer and for other things. But our conversation, Stan, was like you look, man, we need to record this stuff.

Speaker 1: 5:42

This stuff is helping people, like this stuff will help some people and I was like man you know he's like you writing this down. I'm like no man, I'm not writing this down. We're praying because I'm not writing this down.

Speaker 1: 5:53

And he was like, man, you need to really write this down because this is some good stuff. You say, matter of fact, you need to be record-ness. And I was like I don't know about all that man, I'm just talking. I gotta agree with him, man. And my brother, kyle, was saying the same thing.

Speaker 1: 6:08

And so the Lord was dealing with me and was like, look, man, men want a safe place where they can see men being men, but they can also see themselves in their stories and they can see themselves in their journey, and the Lord wants to use that to help others. And so I was like, all right. So the foundation, the premise of this podcast is conversations that we've had in prayer, and we're basically just gonna bring those conversations on air. So, yes, we're gonna be real, we're gonna be authentic and we're gonna be vulnerable and we're gonna talk through some things to let people really know what we're talking about and so that they can relate to it too. So, with that being said, doing the work. So I've been reading a lot of books about mental health because I'm finishing up my mental health certification. Hey, yeah, yeah, had that too good. Yes, so I'm gonna be officially a certified mental health coach Gossman really dealt with me with mental health and especially in the realm of men and children, and so doing the work is kind of like slang for mental health.

Speaker 2: 7:30

I didn't know that.

Speaker 1: 7:33

To me, doing the work is like getting that money. I've been believed, I'm already knowing, but doing the work is basically not running from what God is highlighting and leaning into what's uncomfortable and difficult, regardless of what he's highlighting is good or if it's bad. If it's good or if it's bad, lean into it, because we gotta give it all to it. There's a reason for it.

Speaker 1: 7:56

So, doing the work is basically doing the things that is necessary to put yourself and those around you in a better mental state, emotional state and just an overall state of wellness and wholeness. And so my question for you, bro, is what does doing the work mean to you in the context of your mental and spiritual health, and how has this approach helped you reshape your life?

Speaker 2: 8:25

I'd say to me doing the work. It all started when I stopped trying to stop trying to do work on things externally and started working on things internally.

Speaker 1: 8:40

There it is, man.

Speaker 2: 8:42

And where that, when that? Truly, because I'm not gonna lie, when I moved back from Texas, I was in a very, very bad mental state. Yes, very bad mental state. Spiritually, physically, mentally, it just that was bad. Yes, it was all bad, and praise the Lord that we have a special lady at our church, yes, and by the name of. Can I?

Speaker 1: 9:05

use her name on here. Yeah, we're gonna be refer, we're gonna be refer and I'm pretty sure her husband gonna be on here at some point too. Oh, yes, we're gonna have both of them on here. Okay, all right, she worked with me.

Speaker 2: 9:14

Okay, then I can use her name. Her name is Tina Porter.

Speaker 1: 9:16

Yes, and yes, miss, look, look, if y'all, if y'all want to, if y'all in the Southern Illinois area and y'all want to do that, work like on a Ferrell. Ferrell like when I'm gonna certify, I'm gonna help y'all out. But Ferrell like Miss Tina, tina Porter, yo, she's, she's. Look, when it comes to mental health, I'm gonna just say it, yo, she, she on ghost status, man Like that's, that's straight up, miss. Tina look, shout out, shout out to Inspire Hope, counseling ministries, man.

Speaker 2: 9:52

AP3, baby AP3. Go them threes up, yes.

Speaker 1: 9:56

So yeah, man, so you did the work. One of your first steps in doing the work, man, was actually having the courage to go and get help in a professional capacity.

Speaker 2: 10:06

Because you know, as men you're taught to be strong do it yourself, don't handle it, this, this and that. And I was trying to handle it and let me tell you it wasn't, it wasn't working out, it wasn't happening. And my wife said because she actually grew up with Tina's children, nice, and just so happens, we all go to the same church. And so I'm thinking, all right, well, let's go to it, let's try it out. And it was the first time I truly put my feelings out there and what I went through. And in doing that and getting vulnerable, I got free listen.

Speaker 1: 10:44

Listen, I got free. I know I told you this, but I'm gonna tell this for the, for the, for the viewers and for the listeners. When you willing to do that work, you go through the levels of freedom and it starts with transparency. Transparency is what I let you see, mm-hmm, I'm letting you see me in real life, what they say, what the kids say. I'm letting you see me at 4k. I Let you see me in 4k. That's transparency.

Speaker 1: 11:13

Vulnerability is what I let you know. So when I'm being transparent, I'm letting you see everything, or as much as I'm willing to be transparent. When I'm being vulnerable, I'm sharing with you why you see what you see. Yeah, so when I'm being transparent and you see me yelling, you're like man, this dude is just a mean little no. But when I'm being vulnerable, I'm letting you know why. I'm giving you information to put the transparency in context. But then you go even further and you get to accountability. Yes, sir, accountability is now. I'm being transparent, I'm being vulnerable. And then I handed to you for you to hold yes, and that's when you say hold me accountable. Whatever I give you is what I'm giving you permission to hold me accountable for. So if I say look, man, this is what I'm struggling with and this is what it looks like when I'm struggling. Then I'm giving this to you and saying man, when you see this, call me out on it, keep me accountable, make sure that I'm you know I'm saying, I'm doing what I need to be doing.

Speaker 1: 12:15

That's accountability. But freedom, freedom is when I have nothing to hide. That's right. When I have nothing to hide, I mean you could keep me accountable all you want to, because I'm letting it all out anyway. I'm already know.

Speaker 1: 12:33

You can put it out there and I'm just like, look, man, I'm free. Yeah, I'm like like you could be free and still in a process. But the fact that when you, when you go through those steps of being transparent, being vulnerable, being accountable, there's true freedom there because you don't have anything to hide and we have nothing to hide, that's true freedom. Yeah, I agree. Ah, so, man, look, that's it, that's that, come on, that is the first step to doing the work. And that's what you said, man. You got vulnerable, you got transparent, you share what you need to share. And that freedom and I'm not saying don't get me wrong like, like, if y'all listen to say oh, yeah, easy, or said and done I'm not saying it's gonna be easy, no, there's a process. It's yeah, there's a process for freedom, mm-hmm. But when there's no longer anything to hide, that process goes a little faster, it's a little simpler.

Speaker 1: 13:23

Yeah, yeah, my back go ahead.

Speaker 2: 13:28

But, um, now you're good. In that process, though Each session I started letting her Be a little bit more vulnerable letting her hold a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit more.

Speaker 2: 13:42

And in that I found that I was suffering from trauma, mm-hmm from Texas and the legal situation. I had my big mama down there and everything, and In that trauma it was affecting my engagement, my relationship of my stepson. Yeah, I just completely shut off. Yeah, and then shutting that off, I almost I even shut shut it off to the Lord as well, mm-hmm. I Really went to a dark place, but in that I found freedom, and one of the things I spoke with her about is she's like well, what do you want out of this? I was like I just want to be free from this. Mm-hmm, I don't want to live like this, no more.

Speaker 2: 14:18

I want to have a good good relationship with my son, my fiance at the time. Yeah Lord behold, I was gonna be convicted and I was gonna get married real quick real quick. We'll get to that, real we'll get to that. We'll get to that later. But, um, in that I Just I truly got that sense of giving that weight of somebody else to hold for the first time and it truly I'm not gonna lie because in the past you know, you say you got your friends this and that and you ask them to hold something for you hold a little bit of accounting, but they don't hold you accountable for it.

Speaker 2: 15:01

That's right they don't, but this woman held me accountable, listen.

Speaker 1: 15:06

I'm telling you she's not the dude, but she's the dude. She is the go-to counselor man.

Speaker 2: 15:14

Yes, she's been in the game for a minute, a minute, and she has dealt with trauma of her own. Yes, so she. I don't know if it's out yet, but I know she had a book coming out about that.

Speaker 1: 15:26

No, it's not out, but she's finished. She hasn't really said anything about it yet.

Speaker 2: 15:31

Okay, okay, okay, I know she said something about it, but no. One of the things we spoke about in my last sessions is I was like I want men of God to come into my life. I was like I'm sick of these fake friends who just want me for a season or reason like I want a true man of God in my life. This was on a Monday. Week goes by that Sunday I haven't done an altar call, and I don't know how long.

Speaker 1: 16:03

A minute. A minute, good, long minute.

Speaker 2: 16:06

Pastor Jason, shout out. Pastor Jason, yeah, yeah, I'm going to speak on him later. That man convicted me. He says he didn't, but I swear he convicted me. We'll get to that. But altar call, and I feel this tug to come forward. Just filled me tugging and I look at Livio. I was like here I go. Livio is my fiance.

Speaker 1: 16:24

Well, wife she's right now, fiance at the time, wife now.

Speaker 2: 16:28

I just felt that pull and when I went forward, I just fell to my knees and started crying. And as I was on my hands and knees crying, I started feeling hands touching me, Hands on my shoulders hands on my back, hands on my chest. And I just heard men speaking in a heavily language.

Speaker 1: 16:48

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 16:50

And it just I felt uplifted.

Speaker 1: 16:53

I stand up, I turn around.

Speaker 2: 16:55

Who do I see? One of the brothers is right here. Let's go See this brother here. Another brother by the name of Stan Jackson. He'll be here later.

Speaker 1: 17:05

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 17:07

Another brother, Aaron.

Speaker 1: 17:08

Porter Tina.

Speaker 2: 17:08

Porter's husband, michael DePriese. Yeah, another brother, elwin Smith. Another brother, my de-slapship group.

Speaker 1: 17:16

Taylor Morris yeah.

Speaker 2: 17:18

And you know, the funny thing about it is, I talk to these dudes on the daily. They hold me accountable, I hold them accountable and it's a true, it's a true brotherhood, kingdom, kingdom brotherhood, and that's something that I prayed for and I longed for and the Lord and the Lord gave it to me.

Speaker 1: 17:39

Dude, that's awesome. I remember. I remember when I first saw you, man, and I, just before y'all was sitting in the middle, y'all was sitting on the side, yeah.

Speaker 2: 17:49

Yeah, yeah, we straight moved from. Like we first moved in the back and the back and then we moved to the side. The next thing I know I'm two rows behind Pastor Jason, everybody. I'm like I don't know what happened.

Speaker 1: 18:01

Yes, so I remember when I first saw y'all sitting on the side over there in the back and the Lord was like go, go tell them that they're like go and give them a word about their relationship. I was like man. I was like man. I'm trying to get home. I don't even know these cats Like and because of the word that the Lord gave me, I just assumed that you guys were married.

Speaker 1: 18:31

I didn't know that you wasn't married at the time and I was just like I'll make this quick, I'm going to get this chicken.

Speaker 2: 18:40

Oh, you're talking about. We went to.

Speaker 1: 18:42

No, this before. Okay, okay and so I was just like I went up to you guys, I was like, hey, man, my name's Harold and I just want to pray and give y'all this word. And the Lord said this, this and that. And yeah, man, see y'all around. And I didn't know. Honestly, I thought that was the extent of, like, my assignment. And then, when you went on to the altar, was that the day that I that I told you about connected with?

Speaker 2: 19:08

you. Yeah, we shared information.

Speaker 1: 19:10

You said man let's connect so for y'all who don't know, man I'm, I'm real low key at church. Well, I won't say low key. I'm loud before service and after service because I'm like I like meeting people and talking to people and everything like that. But when it comes to like service, like the actual service, I'd be chilling and I don't be trying to like do a lot.

Speaker 1: 19:35

Because, I just I'll be just trying to be like, look, man, I'm just trying to get, get what I can to get, and just and just bounce. But the Lord was dealing with me, man, and I'm like man, I ain't trying to be in people's lives because I don't want to be, I don't want to be trying to do stuff. But the Lord was like yo, you need to connect with him and not only connect, but like build a real brotherhood relationship. And I was like yo, I don't know if he, if he, won't that type of love, because I'm different when it comes to like you know, like I'm. I'm different when it comes to like real brotherhood relationships. I'm like either you in it or you're not.

Speaker 1: 20:19

And so I was just like I'm just, I'm just feeling that I'm just like. I'm just like I'm just if I, you and your girl, to come eat with me, you and your girl and your, your son, to come eat with me and my kids and my wife, and we're just going to fill this thing out, man. And then, before you know it, man, we were prayer partners, we're sharing, we're sharing testimonies, we're we're growing, we getting vulnerable and letting each other know what we're dealing with and how the Lord is dealing with us and it's becoming, and it has became, something that I actually look forward to For sure. Like and for you either, don't know. Like me and my bro, we're early birds, early Like my alarm go off at 3am Three.

Speaker 1: 21:08

My alarm go off at 3am too. This man usually texts me 15 minutes later, 315 to 330's that window. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm usually getting, that initial text message, and if I reply before like four, then he like all right, he's up, he's up. If I don't, he's like all right, this guy's slacking yeah.

Speaker 2: 21:26

This man let me down. This morning, man, I was mad.

Speaker 1: 21:29

Man, I had every intention on getting up, man, it was just you know, I just need some rest. But man yeah, so that's so. I'm encouraged, man. I'm encouraged by how you, how you've done the work, man, how you take, how you took that initial step to to get counseling, to get assistance, to navigate the area that you were in and that trauma came up and that the things that the, that the enemy was using to kind of really keep you isolated and and enclosed.