Blue Collar Business Podcast
Welcome to the Blue Collar Business Podcast with Sy Kirby. Dive deep into the world of hands-on entrepreneurship and the gritty side of making things happen. Join us for actionable tips on scaling your blue-collar business, managing teams, and staying ahead in an ever-evolving market. We'll also discuss the latest industry trends and innovations that could impact your bottom line. If you're passionate about the blue-collar world and eager to learn from those who've thrived in it, this podcast is a must-listen. Stay tuned for engaging conversations and real-world advice that can take your blue-collar business to new heights.
Blue Collar Business Podcast
Ep. 48 - Rebuilding Intimacy, Building Business
Sy Kirby takes a deeply personal turn in this episode, inviting his business partner and wife of 11 years, Sara, to kick off a special four-part series on the challenges of marriage in entrepreneurship. Their raw conversation offers an intimate glimpse into how blue-collar business owners can protect their most important partnership while building something extraordinary together.
The couple doesn't hold back as they share their journey from newlyweds to business partners, raising three children. "Being married in business can be extremely tough," Sy admits early on, setting the tone for their transparent discussion about prioritizing intimacy when the business constantly demands attention. Sara reveals how their understanding of connection has evolved: "At the beginning, intimacy was just very physical... now it's the emotional intimacy, the connection that we share, and it's just a much deeper thing."
Their conversation tackles head-on the unique challenge of working together professionally while maintaining their personal bond. "When you close down the office and come home, you are still with that same person," Sara explains, describing the delicate balance of switching contexts. The Kirbys share practical strategies they've developed, including their "48-hour rule" for physical intimacy and the importance of brief, intentional check-ins during hectic periods.
Perhaps most powerfully, they discuss the breaking points that nearly derailed them and the commitment that kept them together. "Divorce is not on the table," Sara shares about their foundational agreement. "It's not an option for us." This commitment allowed them to push through difficult seasons, especially when rediscovering their faith provided a new framework for their partnership.
Whether you're already in business with your spouse or considering this path, this episode offers both cautionary wisdom and practical hope. The Kirbys' journey proves that with intentional effort, the right priorities, and a lot of grace, you can build both a thriving business and a fulfilling marriage, even when the same person sits across from you at the dinner table and the conference room.
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Hey guys, welcome to the Blue Collar Business Podcast, where we discuss the realest, rawest, most relevant stories and strategies behind building every corner of a blue collar business. I'm your host, cy Kirby, and I want to help you in what it took me trial and error and a whole lot of money to learn the information that no one in this industry is willing to share. Whether you're under that shade tree or have your hard hat on, let's expand your toolbox. Welcome back, guys, to another episode of the Blue Collar Business Podcast. Today we are doing something drastically different my beautiful guest here joining me. Today. We are kicking off a four-part series and I've got a little co-host and I'll introduce you in just a moment.
Speaker 1:You've met her before, but essentially, being married in business can be extremely, extremely tough and we're going to kick off a four-part series for you guys, acting somewhat like a day night, because, being a business owner and mama bear and papa bear, we don't really get much time to spend with each other, literally one-on-one, no phones, no job talk maybe a little we're probably going to get into some job talk today but literally just us sitting down, connecting, showing you, you guys, that the struggle is real and not trying to hide behind any screen. But we want you guys to jump in with us into several meaty conversations that you know what we all deal with and somebody needs to talk about them. Somebody needs to talk about them. But if you're, like us, running a business with your spouse juggling kids, deadlines, clients it's easy for the marriage to always take the back seat, and when it's your best friend, you truly don't want to hurt their feelings. But you understand, on this side of the table you're wanting to provide and protect and the other side is trying to nurture. So finding that cohesion between the two while mixing in business can be very tough.
Speaker 1:But in each episode we're going to be diving into a part of marriage that matters. We're going to start with intimacy today, work over to time, work through conflicts and visions and just breaking it down kind of like a full course meal, start with a little appetizer and and as the conversation gets real good, we'll get into the meat and potatoes haha, no pun intended and hopefully finish up with a little bit of dessert and uh, really, guys. Furthermore, if you guys are excited, if you wouldn't mind, drop on a, a share, a like, a follow it really helps the show out and if you are super excited for this series as much as I am, drop that like so. Furthermore, guys, I have my beautiful wife and business partner and mother of three beautiful children, wife of 11 years this year, miss Sarah Kirby. So, like I said, guys I know the intro is a little bit long.
Speaker 1:There we're going to be working on prioritizing intimacy and emotional closeness and actually this is kind of funny for a first topic for us because it's both one we both struggle in for each other and a lot of times over the years we have missed signs, misread some things, and we're going to kind of talk about how we got through it and how we're still married today with three beautiful babies and a crazy life. Married today with three beautiful babies and a crazy life oh my gosh. And you know there is so many special partnerships that are out there, just like me and Sarah, that I know need a resource and need something to connect to and go. Oh my gosh. We're not the only one, because you can get very isolating when you just have your one partner to not only vent, but they take emotional beatings we both do. We don't even realize we're doing it, we're just trying to talk to our friend Definitely take its toll if it's not dealt with.
Speaker 1:Sat down and just remind you how much I love you, and sometimes you do the same with me. And I promise you guys, the business, all the media, none of it would be without your support. So it means so much to me to have your support. Really, that's the only thing that's really drove me to get to where I think I am in today's world. But being those babies, daddy, and being your husband is my number one duty. But, man, it's a beautiful duty and I love it so much and I just can't thank you enough for your support.
Speaker 1:I just wanted to start there well, thank you so, furthermore, I guess we'll fire off with the old appetizer questions. Huh, okay, what is intimacy? Intimacy I think I spelled that wrong. She makes me nervous, guys. It's a little weird. You guys are like why is Cy acting all weird? Because I got this long and hard day with me tonight, guys. So, uh, what does intimacy mean to you now versus when we first got married?
Speaker 2:yeah, well when we well, let's just start from the beginning. I mean, we really like went on our first date and basically moved in with you that night, so you know. And then we were engaged a year later, six months later no, now now we went on our first date on september 23rd and we got engaged on August 23rd.
Speaker 2:So here we go fair enough yeah, and then we got married a year later and so it was very quick and I think that, you know, at the beginning intimacy was just like very physical yeah, and now that we are married and been married for almost 11 years and have three kids, it just means a lot more. It's just it's more. It's more than just the physical part of the relationship. It's the emotional intimacy, the connection that, like, we share and that I mean you know the most like intimate parts of my life and my feelings, and it's just a much deeper thing than you know when you first get married. And it's awesome, you know, like I mean, it's vulnerable and scary and you have to, you know, really trust your partner to be able to get there.
Speaker 2:But I mean it's important and a lot that we push through all the walls, you know, oh my, gosh, truly I don't yeah, I don't even want to think about not pushing through the walls.
Speaker 1:I mean and I need to be upfront with you guys I promise you, every day has been a roller coaster. Don't get me wrong. We've had a lot of good years, but we've had some bad years.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:And it was two imperfect people trying to produce a perfect life together. And I expected perfect out of her and she expected her version of perfect out of me. And and I think you know, speaking directly on intimacy, yeah, a lot of it's just straight up physical, straight off the bat. Obviously any relationship is, but in an actual relationship you need more than just that. You need that emotional. And, honestly, guys, you'd probably be sitting here going, oh, sarah's the emotional one, but I probably wear the emotional more than the two of us.
Speaker 2:And what I mean. Right from the beginning, like before we even got married, we both sat down and just said, like, divorce is not on the table, it's not something that we're going to talk about, it's not going to be something that we consider on a um, you know, five by five basis, like it's just a very taboo subject. We're not going to talk about it, it's not an option for us.
Speaker 1:I think that laying that foundation down from the beginning really allowed for us to you know hone in focus yeah, well, and to like break through the walls, because it was just you know, you're with me until you're in the box, so we and and it and speaking on that word, it was so funny and you know your folks have been through, oh, 33 years married right, and you know I didn't I wasn't raised in a whole home how that affected me and I came from um. You know that was emotional in itself and for our children. We made the decision, not just for them, but we choose emotional intimacy, maybe writing a note on her mirror, because I know she's going to have a tough day and I know her love language, although I could sit there and write this giant long text and tell her and tell her, but until she sees the effort of an action then she'll believe the words that I'm like truly. And so that's the top of emotional intimacy, and I know that word can go straight to other things, but it's the small things, it's.
Speaker 1:You know, the texts I get from you on a really crappy day because you know I need them and it's not some long deal, but it's just hey, I love you and just a little bit more today than yesterday. Yeah, and I know today sucks, but when we get home we're going to have a good dinner and always keeping me focused on the family because business is tough and early on. You know it was so hard. There was no separation, work-life balance, it was all work all the time. When you're building a business together, it is like you have to focus on it, like it's another baby.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And that frustrated you.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:And I understand why. Now I didn't. Then no, and guys, you're sitting there and you're going, oh yeah, and.
Speaker 1:I understand why. Now I didn't. Then no, and guys, you're sitting there and you're going man, why can't you focus on? This is what I'm trying to provide, this is where I'm trying to go, this is all these things. Well, on the other side of the table, she's trying to do the exact same thing for you and provide a family, and you've really got to check your priorities there. I I've got to say and I do not recommend building family, building a business, building a house all at once, as fast as you can, but you know what I promise you?
Speaker 2:I wouldn't, I wouldn't do any other way, you know but it tests you and I mean, we've been through it all, I don't know. It's like you know, and so I should knock on something, because it's like I don't we've been through some stuff.
Speaker 1:You know it's every couple acts, though, and if you're, if you're sitting there, going well, we have two. Well, as long as you're not giving up on each other, you're pretty one and that, yeah, truly go another day right and do something a little bit different tomorrow that you did today, if you want a different result oh yeah, that's a big thing for me.
Speaker 1:Uh, speaking on my front, you know, guys, you get trapped up here and you just set these expectations. You don't want to verbalize them. Well, well, you kind of struggle with that too, setting expectations on in the early years for me to clearly grab a hold of, because I'm just like, just tell me what you want and I'll do it. But guys, it's not always, no, necessarily, especially stacking business on it In the business mode. You are all fixer and all be all, and it's really hard to differentiate that.
Speaker 1:Hey, this is my wife speaking to me, and year one, and just wants me to listen yeah and that that was tough to figure out, and make sure you didn't crush the emotional side of you during that time when I really didn't even realize what I was doing.
Speaker 2:But I was trying to show you my love through providing, through this business, man, whatever, well, that's perfect, because my question for you is how does working together um affect our emotional connection? So that's kind of perfect, because man, there's no lie to this.
Speaker 1:There's no. We've had some really tough. There's even a Mr Dillon in our office and business conversations, as he labeled them.
Speaker 2:We'll be sitting there in front of five or six folks and we'll have that one not yelling screaming, but yeah, we're gonna get up and we're gonna make sure our point gets across and it's heard to the entire room when it's hard because it's like there's one part of you that is running a business and you want the business to succeed and you want you know things to go the way that you think that they should, and then on the flip side of that is the person that you're trying to run a business with is also your life partner, and so when you close down the office and you come home, you are still with that same person, and so you know it's hard to pull the plug from one to the other or vice versa.
Speaker 2:You know you have a really bad night or you get into an argument, you're not seeing eye to eye on how you're raising the kids, whatever the case may be, and then you have to come in and do a billing meeting and oh my gosh, it's so hard, and so it's like both sides of it it pulls, and so it's a constant juggling act and trying to stay in the right moment for where and what you're dealing with.
Speaker 1:I have used a little motto prioritize the moment. And, as business owners, really hard when your kiddo's screaming they just want your love yeah, and it's 4 o'clock on Friday and they ain't seen you all week. But at the same time, you're dealing with a huge problem that, if you don't get dealt with in the next hour before Monday, monday is just you're going to stress all weekend and really be disconnected from the hour before Monday. Monday is just you're going to stress all weekend and really be disconnected from the family before Monday. And it's those things that I struggle with to stay emotionally connected. It's not because I don't want to, it's that I'm suffering from prioritization. It's that I'm suffering from prioritization. I need to find some type of motto about prioritizing Prioritization of God, family, faith I'm sorry. Faith, family and then business.
Speaker 1:I said God and faith twice but, hey, at least I'm thinking of that one twice. But it is a struggle and I've got to make a conscious effort to speak her love language to make sure that she still knows that even behind all the tornadoes of the day, even behind the oh my gosh, the kids are just being so much today, all of those moments that she still knows that I'm still that 22 year old boy chasing you around to make sure she knows that she's still. There's one thing, to feel needed, but it's another thing to feel wanted, and I think that goes right along with the emotional connection is yeah, you're needed and you feel needed. Well, maybe sometimes you don't even feel needed, but if you don't feel needed and wanted, that's a terrible feeling. And to go home to a peaceful place.
Speaker 1:I would encourage you guys, when it gets to those moments, grab her hand, give her a big old hug and go hey, in a very soft monotone. This is what I was trying to get across. I understand how my delivery was not right in the moment or hey, uh, my tone of voice or the people we did it in front of. There's so many emotional things that you don't normally deal with as a normal employee or partner. That's outside of your marriage or that you're not pulling into what you're fixing to lay out there. But I would encourage you guys, grab her hand, apologize and start over and then move on and literally don't let those family nights get ruined because of a two o'clock billing meeting, because we're just stealing moments from each other. Yeah, we're just stealing moments from each other.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're just stealing moments from the kids now, year one to five. I can't say that. I did that straight up. It was just build a business and, um, how old was the business from when? Colt colt's eight and the business was nine.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm nine.
Speaker 1:Fixed to be 10. And so we've always been raising babies through this, all behind the scenes, and I don't know if I would have ran so hard without them. I would have done it for you. There's no doubt about it.
Speaker 2:Oh no, I still don't understand. No, I would have done it for you. There's no doubt about it. No, no, I still understand, no, I understand.
Speaker 1:When that colt hit the ground, everything changed, and you guys with kiddos you know exactly what I'm saying. The risk felt heavier, everything felt heavier immediately.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:First time I saw his eyeballs and he's my best buddy, but I hope there's some encouraging value there for you. Take 10 minutes. Don't make it a big, long, drawn-out deal. Hey, I love you. I'm sorry, I don't know, and there's a lot of times you don't even understand why she's mad at you. Straight up, boys, I get it Truly, but just be the first to apologize. I would, if there's something I'm trying to say there, just try to be the leader, and if you're the man in the house, you are the leader, so you've got to act like it. Even when you're so freaking pissed off you can't see straight. You're replacing a door because some kid ran a freaking hoverboard into it, or you know what I mean and it is what it is. But have there been moments where our work stress killed our connection at home?
Speaker 2:Absolutely, yeah, absolutely. I think that it took us a long time to figure out the work-life-home-life balance and we let it really eat us up, um, but like I said, like we just kind of decided from the very beginning that, like, divorce was not the option and I think we let it go as long as we possibly could, like I mean, like I think that we let it build until we were at a place that, like I am unhappy, you are unhappy, we are what are we doing Constantly at odds, like what are we doing?
Speaker 2:And we had to just like and like. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And instead of band-aiding situations and like go through some really hard moments with each other, but I think that it took like us kind of finding Jesus again.
Speaker 2:You know a little bit.
Speaker 1:No doubt.
Speaker 2:And putting something of even ourselves at the forefront of our marriage to really actually start dealing with it and start really facing the problem. You know it was.
Speaker 1:You're not wrong, it wasn't but got a lot easier after we started heading to that church house every sunday that's for sure I mean straight up, guys. We were both looking for answers and we were just lost at all odds. And this was about three, four years ago, and Sarah attests that I found Jesus again in a dozer.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Building our house and building the land. I spent about a year and a half by myself on a track on a dozer after hours and on weekends and didn't see a lot of folks during that time. But it's pretty cool what we built together Absolutely no, I have to say I can think of some crucial moments that I'm sitting here going. Why did I make that such a big deal?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:It wasn't even that big of a deal, yeah, but I got to tell you, tell you, I think, guys, if you're sitting there one to three years, you're like, is this ever gonna get easier? My answer's gonna be head to that church house, head out. It'll start the connection and that you, neither one of you, can find to plug in you and you feel like you know everything about each other, but you feel like you're so far, yeah, at the same point and you're like man, but bouncing back. We have ignored it for too long sometimes yeah and, but we always bounce back oh yeah
Speaker 1:whether it's you, whether it's me, and apologizing, seeing it from each other's side, and I think experience seat time, as we were talking in our interview, yeah, it's literally operator seat time and we're sitting here. What I mean by that is man. Education is expensive, but experience is priceless. That is man, education is expensive, but experience is priceless. I say it all the time on the show, but literally with navigating a marriage and a business, it just takes time to figure out. Oh my gosh, not every little thing is worth ruining dinner over.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Not over?
Speaker 2:oh yeah, not. Well, let me tell you, like most business, things are not even remotely close to worth running a baseball game, dinner, family time like most of the time it's business. Stuff is like out of our control anyway, and so like carrying those emotions and that hurt or frustration into our home life, like it's just we've it happens still today. Like I say that, like we're perfected, just like, oh, we walked through the door, no longer business partners, but like we've learned that most of the stuff that you know happens with the company doesn't, you know, supersede our family and our family time, you know.
Speaker 1:It's taken me a lot longer to figure that out, and guys I couldn't have. I didn't have it figured out until about three or four years ago, when God really humbled me at my knees and made me realize that of course sorry business has literally been this. I have waged strive to get everything taken care of before this evening, but it never fails, never fails.
Speaker 2:I have a juicy question for you, nick. Okay, go ahead. Okay, how do we protect physical intimacy from becoming just another task when we're both burnt out at the end of the day?
Speaker 1:kiss you good night and make sure you know you're loved. I don't know. I mean, that's a tough one guys like if you're trying like sex is really yeah's there, but it's something that when you're in this deep connection business, obviously marriage, yes, it does just become a task, but like it's very few and far between date nights. You know what I?
Speaker 2:mean, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:There's still.
Speaker 2:We have a very young family though, too. I mean we have a six month old, a six year old and an eight year old, so we have a very young family too. I mean we have a six-month-old, a six-year-old and an eight-year-old, so we have a very young family, and so like it's busy, yeah, like we don't get a lot of like adult time no, no, no but you know, I think the 48-hour rule yeah was definitely a game changer, you know uh, basically, I'll explain a little bit more, uh, since sarah's throwing me a softball here.
Speaker 1:Thank you very much because, uh, I was squirming on that one. But, uh, we've got a little 48 hour rule of hey, if I initiate, you know, one of us initiates. Um, we understand that we're both obviously involved in 87,000 things for each other.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's not like we can just drop and do everything you want to do every day, yeah, but within that 48 hours you have to find time to make sure the day's done.
Speaker 2:Re-spark the flame, yeah, the flame, yeah, and I mean honestly, like when you're not only running a business, but when you're raising a family like it's impossible.
Speaker 1:That was a course question, right, because that's heavy. Okay, that was second course. Yeah, that's main course yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:but I mean like when you're running a business, your head is spinning, especially like the beginning years of it your head spinning. But when you're raising a family, like I'm sorry, but like I have a kid attached to me- 92% of the day.
Speaker 2:Yes, like constantly, all the time, and it's not that I don't love you, but sometimes when you come at me, I'm just not ready. I cannot handle one more person touching me, and so you know. But it puts the ball in the other person's court. You know what I mean. Like you have initiated, you've said like hey, I have needs, and here they are, and it puts the ball in the other person's court to pick that up when the time is available and right, and so you know. I think that that's something that was very important for where we are in marriage and you know where we are at in life.
Speaker 1:Because, oh man, the other thing is is you know we'd be sitting there at dinner? Is you know we'd be sitting there at dinner? And I can if? If you're a visionary and entrepreneur and you're obsessed with it, you can be sitting there at dinner and just freeze. I forgot this. I forgot that I did this. I didn't do that. Oh, I didn't call this guy back, I didn't catch that call and just. And then I read a text message and lost my thought. But what I'm saying is it just can completely encompass you.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:I would just you know. My next question here, babe, for you is you know how do we ensure that we pause, reconnect or break tension during high-stress days? But during those high-stress days, mama Bear does her best to ensure that the little extra is done. And she knows the days when I just can't. Last night was one of them. Dad gum on my cry, emotional I am. I am, if you guys didn't know, so you're getting the true vulnerable. I hope this is bringing you guys a little bit of value. But, man, there's days I was sitting in a long chair in our living room last night because my jeans were so dadgum dirty I didn't want to sit on the couch, but we had to have some conversation last night.
Speaker 1:Business not nothing like you're like throwing down, like we got no I know nothing like like that, but we just I had a heavy, heavy day yesterday.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:For our future. For all sorts of reasons, things didn't do good during the day we had to. It was just the cruise Found out we had to do some more rework on it. It was just all stacked together and those days hurt her the worst, because she's trying so hard to ensure that I don't end up that way has zero to do with her control or her ability to ensure that my day didn't go awry.
Speaker 1:But even like last night, you know, mama bear said so, you're down in the dumps. I said no, I just need to offload, I just need to get this. I need you to hear what I'm saying and why I'm feeling. But I communicated that with her. No, I'm not down in the dumps, I'm just. I literally can't take another step. This is nine o'clock at night, guys. I walked through the door. I've been having some late days here as of late and good late days though beneficial and great time utilization. If I'm going to sacrifice time with family, it has to be a vital emergency. So, um, but for you, mom, how do we, how do we break that tension? I I try to figure out when you're super, super stressed, but you hide it better than I do.
Speaker 2:You know, I think I don't think there's like a certain way that we can say that we like figure out how to break the tension, whatever it's. Just we've been married for 10 years, so like I know when things are building and that they're heavy and they're crazy, and so I just make a point. You know what I mean. Like, hey, and I know that you are an overthinker and so sometimes you just need a sounding board and that's. I'm not good at that.
Speaker 1:Neither one of us are, because we love each other so much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and well, and I'm just, I'm not a good sounding board, I'm not an emotional person. I'm like, ok, here's your problem, let me logistically figure out how to fix it for you, and I'll fix it and we can move past this emotional Thing that is happening. But you know that's not you, and so sometimes, like I've learned that you have to offload every thought that's in your head, not for a response and not for a fix or a solution, but just to get it out of your mind because, like, as soon as you have it in the air, it's gone and not gone. But you know, like hey, um this is going on.
Speaker 2:That's going on. I need two minutes of your time. You know um, and so that really helps no 100, those, those quick check-ins.
Speaker 1:Guys, I'm going to jump over real quick. Blue Collar Performance Marketing is our sponsor of the show today. They have been a valuable part of the marketing campaign and stay tuned for Episode 2 and 3 when we start talking about time utilization and they're wearing you out today, aren't they way? Call from the ipad, see where you at. Sorry, guys, blue collar performance marketing, that Ike and his team get with them. Um, the value they provide to the marketing campaign of what we're trying to do is next to none and been a big part of the YouTube and the reason you're watching me right now is obviously podcastvideoscom and their beautiful studio. But Ike has truly helped me establish an entire marketing campaign and structure. So get with those guys over there. Check out bcperformancemarketingcom backslash BCB podcast. Click the link in the description below. You guys are going to get a free discovery call and a free, full, comprehensive look in to what you got going on for marketing. So get with them, guys. Now that the main course man, the main course, really definitely.
Speaker 2:Gotcha, didn't it yeah dude. Hey, do you remember when they brought us our dessert, when you were proposing?
Speaker 1:That's a good one, mama. Yes, I do. I remember that meal like it was yesterday. I didn't eat a freaking thing and then you were like we're not getting dessert, we're not buying dessert. That's crazy. You didn't even eat your dinner.
Speaker 1:We're eating dessert, do you understand me? We've got to get the dessert, we're getting the cheesecake and little did she know. And then I did it at all. Of course that's probably the arkansas thing, but uh, it was brand new here in town in northwest arkansas and a buddy of mine was a manager and back then it was standing room wait hour and a half back before they had tapped to check in and all the stuff. You just had to sit and wait at a restaurant. And we got there and the sidewalks were packed and the front door was packed. She looked at me all weird and like just go. We walked right in, got sat right down. I think she forgot that by the time dessert rolled around, but the whole garden staff was sitting on the back row. Yeah, I remember that dessert like it was yesterday, there ain't no doubt about it, and that was 2013?.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 2013.
Speaker 1:It's crazy 13 years ago.
Speaker 2:That's crazy.
Speaker 1:Thanks for choosing me every day, Mama.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's in our bathroom. I will choose you over and over and, over and over again, every day, every day. Well, when life and work are nonstop, what's one real low-pressure way couples like us can reconnect without needing a big talk or a fancy night out? And I think, throwing this, I kind of took over her question here. I'm gonna finish up the questions today okay, sorry but I think the reason I asked is I think you just hit on it a minute ago is we've gotten really good about those touch-ins.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I agree 100%. And you know, life is never going to stop Like. It seems like we are constantly like, hey, when life gets less busy, let's go on a date night. Like hey, when life gets less crazy, let's go on a date night. Like, hey, when life gets less crazy, let's do this or that. But you know, I think that it's more about just the day to day. Like hey, I have two minutes, how are you doing? Like what, how's it going? What can?
Speaker 1:I help you with you know I think things, everything and truly mean it. Yeah, no, just say it, to say yeah, absolutely and we're not like we're not.
Speaker 2:we've said in our marriage it's not a 50 5050 marriage, it's 100-100. And every day I try to do something to serve Sai. And if that means just like, hey, I got two minutes, unload your brain.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:Or hey, I know you're at the office. You've been at the office all day. You've been in meetings. You're going to be in meetings the rest of the day. Let me bring you some lunch some food, oh, it's best you know, like just little things like that, and I think those things are what keeps your marriage going in the non-stop and the high stress and the chaos is just trying to serve each other and trying to, you know, at least put your marriage at the forefront for a few minutes a day.
Speaker 1:You have to.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:All right, guys, I got a little bit of challenge for you guys to finish up the show today. Pick one night this week, sit down with your spouse, especially if you guys are feeling like you're distant, because I know those moments and I don't want to be distant from you ever. Yeah, just adds to the stress, but it literally oh no, it's the number one stressor for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like I can't think you got me all. You get me all messed up in my head. Mama, I'm like trying to read your mind and like, oh my God, what did I do? What was so important to her? And and I'm thinking of these big, major things and it may just because you know something small that was important to her that she had shared three or four times I just completely smooth forgot about and I'm still forgetting about it. And then I'm like what did I do so wrong? You know, I've definitely had to figure that out. But my challenge, guys, is pick one night this week, stay on, talk with your spouse Ten minutes, no phones, no work talk, no kid talk. Just ask how they're really doing. And what's one thing that made today hard and one thing that made it good Talk with each other.
Speaker 1:Don't talk over each other. Bite on a pen. If you got to, literally sometimes I'll stick my. You'll probably see me do it on the show. When I've got something, I'll literally stick my hands in front of my mouth to ensure that I don't open my mouth. Because, husbands, we're fixers, that's what we do. Right, she got a problem? All right, babe, I got it and I'm gone. And I didn't even listen to half of what she's gotta say, and really she's probably already got it fixed by herself because she's the best fixer. But she just needed to. Hey, do you think this is think this is right? Do you think, am I showing love in this situation? Am I just trying to seek revenge because this person pissed me off, or this person really did us wrong, and whatever the case may be? But just sit down, grab each other by the hands and if you are faith-filled, I encourage you to pray. We pray, pray. What do you say the last year and a half?
Speaker 2:it's been over a year.
Speaker 1:Don't get me wrong, we've missed some days traditionally when I like to sleep in summertime summertime, but especially school days, when we're all separating me and Sarah pray every morning yeah and at night we pray with our kids, sit there at their doors and just pray for their health and good rest so that we can wake up with joy in our faces tomorrow.
Speaker 1:And I got to agree with you earlier what you said Jesus has definitely changed our lives and changed our marriage oh, yeah, absolutely wish I gave in a lot sooner because it wasn't for you praying and bridging that gap for all those years of me running and being a hooligan. And, yeah, guys, I truly hope the vulnerability today has shared a little insight and got you guys hooked in for a couple more episodes, because we're definitely going to be going off more onto the business side. But, guys, that's what we talk about all the time. I wanted those other marriages out there to have an episode to themselves and know that, to have an episode to themselves and know that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I really didn't love coming on public and I know you didn't either and talking about our intimacy issues. I really didn't love that. And I saw these show notes and I'm like and you know I'm normally I'm the host here, I ask the questions and Mama Bear brought some good ones today and I just challenge you guys to check on each other. Doesn't have to be big fan. I think this is literally our first time alone discussing something other than work yeah like true date night, and so I'm loving every minute of it.
Speaker 1:I hope you guys are too.
Speaker 1:Um thanks for joining our date night but you're not alone out there and I just wanted everybody to understand that that is a couple. There are other couples out there choosing this life. That is so stressful and chaotic, but it's worth it. And we're not quite there yet, to the worth it stage yet either. We're still transitioning. We're not to the worth it stage. Business wise oh, I'm sorry. Marriage and kids, that's thank God. Yeah, we are past, way past, way way past the the worst stage in that regard, but in the business stage it's still really hard.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, it's harder now than it's ever been.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:But if we didn't choose to keep choosing each other, I think it would have been different.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Guys, next week's episode is time management and setting boundaries. They call it Ha-bom-bom-bom One. I struggled ridiculously bad with and I'm excited to definitely share some insights that we both have used to get time management and boundaries set so we can keep on keeping on in our marriage and business and hopefully both are successful at the end of the day.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Guys, thanks so much for tuning in. Till next one. Be kind, be safe, be humble. If you've enjoyed this episode, be sure to give it a like, share it with the fellers. Check out our website to send us any questions and comments about your experience in the blue collar business. Who do you want to hear from? Send them our way and we'll do our best to answer any questions you may have. Till next time, guys.