Ep. 87 - Family First ROI: Why Presence is Provision with Cory Carlson

Downtime is a profit leak, but a broken home is a life-altering bankruptcy that many leaders in the trades don’t see coming until the papers are served. In an industry where we pride ourselves on building the world around us, we often let our own foundations crumble under the weight of 70-hour weeks and the "provision" trap. We sit down with executive coach and author Cory Carlson to discuss how to stop the cycle of burnout and reclaim the role of leader in your own household.

We sit down to tackle the unvarnished reality of mental health in construction, where high-stakes pressure often leads to isolation and addiction. Cory breaks down his "5 Capitals" framework—Spiritual, Relational, Physical, Intellectual, and Financial—to show how true wealth is measured by more than a bank balance. We get into tactical strategies like the "Family Strategy Session," the necessity of dating your spouse, and why your kids need to hear about your failures at work just as much as your wins. The secret sauce is Cory’s "Rise and Go" philosophy: the understanding that while every leader gets knocked down, the great ones develop the systems to get back up faster.

The unglamorous truth is that being a provider means nothing if you are a stranger at your own dinner table. It takes more discipline to put the phone down and "listen with your eyes" than it does to manage a million-dollar job site, yet the stakes of failing at home are infinitely higher. You will walk away from this conversation with a concrete method to audit your life and a warning that if you don't intentionally schedule your priorities, your business will eat your legacy alive.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Hey guys, welcome to the Blue Collar Business Podcast where we discuss the realest, rawest, most relevant stories and strategies behind building every corner of a blue-collar business. I'm your host, Cy Kirby, and I want to help you what it took me, trial and error, and a whole lot of money to learn. The information that no one in this industry is willing to share. Whether you're under that shade tree or have your hard hat on, let's expand your toolbox. Guys, welcome back to another episode of the Blue Collar Business Podcast, brought to you and sponsored by Pay Dirt. Uh, these guys have been a partner close to my heart at Scicon. We've used them personally and uh professionally on takeoff and quantity soft um uh all-encompassing takeoff for a cut and fill earthwork project or anything civilly. If you're needing, you got a huge sidewalk uh or a curb takeoff or whatever you guys are out there in the civil world needing some takeoff and quantification that you can read and understand and have somebody help you read and understand so you know what you're going out there to put to contract and actually put in the ground. Check them out, paydurch support.com, get with Ben Ben and his team over there. Um, they're obviously very close to my heart, being the sponsor of the show and also using them uh frequently to help out Dylan up there in the front of the house at Scicon. Guys, I have an incredible guest to share with you today. Um, as you guys know, I am extremely passionate about winning at home first. And that's what this episode is more or less going to be tailored about. Nobody better to talk about it than a gentleman that wrote an entire book about it. Um, if you're not winning at home, you're not winning anywhere. You gotta win there first. And priorities, we all get lost in the prioritization. We have so many things coming at us. But he has literally wrote a guide to work-life balance that is measurable for your business, but also measurable in metrics for your family. But this gentleman's an executive coach. He's a keynote speaker all over the place in leadership development. Uh, spent two decades in the corporate world, oof, uh, including significant time in engineering and construction industries, um, author who wrote Win at Home First and Rise and Go. And then, of course, he's also passionate about the media world and giving you guys another resource, host of the Win at Home First podcast and founder of the Rise Community for Business Leaders. Nobody better than the man himself, Corey Carlson. Thank you so much for joining me today, sir.

SPEAKER_01 2:53

Cy, thank you for having me and and just putting the message out there in the world that you do to help help folks. It's awesome.

Construction Mental Health Wake Up Call

SPEAKER_00 3:01

Well, we've got to. It's too important. Um, you know, I was I'm gonna probably start today's show off a little bit different. I was I was actually looking at some statistics uh for the construction industry, and it is dismal. Seven times more likely to overdose from an opiate addiction. Um six times more than any other industry out there. Uh suicide rate in our industry is through the roof. Forty-five percent of construction industry leaders that are out there on our job sites every day don't feel like they can talk about mental health in the workplace without being criticized. That's terrible. And when you're carrying something at home, hey, I'm sorry to get so deep so quickly, but that's the matter at hand. We're talking about lives behind that. You guys are listening right now, and you're driving down the road. I've been there myself. A lot of people have been in your shoes. You're not alone. You're just like, man, why is my entire life chaos? Like, I can't pull it together. I'm just working 70 hours a week. There's never enough money, nobody's ever happy. But if I'm there, I don't make any money. And so you have this incredible dichotomy that you have to face, and you just feel so alone. Especially, I'm speaking to you men out there that carry this every day. It's our job to create joy in that home. And there's ways to do that. But Corey, I I would love to hear more about the focal points of what made you say, man, I've really got to put this out there because there is too many people that are suffering from those statistics that I talked about. And we need, and we know, as you've seen and I have seen, there can be leaders with proper resources out there for them to get their hands on.

You Can Win At Both

SPEAKER_01 5:02

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think if anyone gets anything out of this conversation we have is the is the belief that you can win at both home and work. It's not an either-or. That's a lie we've all been told, but you can win at both home and work. Does it take hard work? Yes. Does it take intentionality? Yes. Does it even take sacrifice to allow some things in your life to fail so that where you're putting your energy succeeds? And so, you know, and the reason I wrote the book, the reason I'm passionate about this side is because I lost. I lost at home. I mean, I'm not writing this book from look at me, I'm awesome. I'm right, I wrote this book and I continue to speak on this message because I it comes from a place of brokenness. It comes from a place where I messed up and where I was falling short. I did, in fact, get you know, my life turned around, got things going in a better direction. And so that's what's in the book is just this uh tools and ideas and conversations that help me rebound. That's what's in the book. But even to this day, I mean, I'm still not perfect, but I have to recalibrate. But what's cool is I now have tools that I can recalibrate to. I can get realigned my life the way I want to make sure I'm going in the right direction. You know, because I mean there are some people listening to this that they don't even know what is the right direction, where am I headed? And so I do think that is a critical part, is kind of define the who do you want to become? I mean, and are you making the choices today to become that person? And so I'll work with clients to help identify who do you want to become? Well, what does that look like to be the husband? Or I'm sure there's some females listening as well, the husband or wife that you want to be, the mom or the dad you want to be, the leader you want to be. And if you if you kind of decide who that is you want to become, then all right, what are the intentional actions you're gonna take to drive that behavior, to get to that end result?

Family Kickoff Meetings And Goals

SPEAKER_00 7:16

That's that's so good, brother. You've got to know where you're going first. And a lot of these guys listening, including myself, we get so lost in the weeds and so far in the forest that the trees are just so tall and the underbrush is just overconsuming. And then somebody just lit our whole forest on fire, and we're just running around uh trying to escape the fire. But also, and and here are these people standing just outside throwing our hand at, throwing their hand at us and going, hey, just just come over here for just a minute. Let's let's talk about this. I get, but you we can't, for some reason, uh as you know, they just consume you. And you're just chasing, chasing yourself in a circle around while all the people around you, in my experience, so I appreciate the vulnerability. You know, I almost lost at home. I had to really um, I will meet and match your vulnerability. I absolutely almost lost at home. And me and Sarah, we shared on the podcast like the things that we have in place as well, that we had to sit down and go, this ain't working. This is not working. Everything in our life isn't working. And it's tough. It's tough, man. I gotta say, when your wife is willing to sit down and say, Hey, this ain't working, but dude, that's when you gotta listen. Those those will help you understand and define where you where she's wanting to go, or vice versa, or he's wanting to go with your family. And where are those goals? And so this is probably a tool you can discuss on more, but from that meeting, we sat and made a goal list. Like we had to figure out where are we wanting to go? Because right now we're just doing it, we're just doing the thing Monday through Friday. Oh my God, we got to Saturday. And but where where are we slinging these weeks together? Where are we going? What's the ultimate prize here? And it and it may just be peace, freedom, or whatever it may be. Everything, everyone is motivated differently. But from that meeting, we had to figure out long-term goals, but also short-term goals so that we could share those celebrations and those small wins that we are working towards our long-term goals, even in the fires and the chaos. You can step outside and grab her hand and go, you know what? We did that together this week. Did you even know that while everything else was going on? No, honey, I had no idea. That's amazing, you know? And so um, that's one of the the the main alignments that we have is I screwed that up for a long time as a leader of my household and didn't go, where are we going? What are we actually doing? Yes, I'm a crazy visionary entrepreneur, and she married the dream and the vision as well, and she totally has been beside my, you know, beside me the entire time. But there's also burdens that she carries because of that. And if I'm not cautious, I'm I'm creating more of that burden and and I'm just doing what I think is right. And so that alignment conversation on goals is everything. And then revisiting it.

Check Ins And Self Accountability

SPEAKER_01 10:18

So you you gotta have, you've got to have the the kickoff meeting, if you will. But then you've got to have check-ins, whether they're weekly or they're quarterly, as far as looking at your goals. You you have to do that. Just, I mean, just like those, you know, companies. Companies will have a big strategy session or a big team building session, and the great companies keep revisiting it. I just did a strategy session with the company uh last week, actually. And, you know, we I identified what's working, what's not working, the company. We then came up with our five focus areas to help them hit their goals for not only this, you know, for three years, but also within the next year. But some companies just stop there. Hey, we did the strategy session. Well, you you've got to have weekly meetings with the leadership team to see how you're progressing towards it. That's business. And we understand some of this in business, but at home, we we wing it. We don't take that same energy and focus that we do at work into our home. So, Sai, I love that you had that kickoff meeting. And it sounds like you do have continual meetings, but for the listener, have that kickoff meeting, have the strategy session, think about what's working in your house and what's not working, and then identify your different goals, but then come back and check in. Whether it's monthly, it's quarterly, but just because we have the meeting doesn't mean it's just guaranteed that you're gonna hit the bullseye. No, I love the idea of the you know, kind of the difference between a bullet and a torpedo. A bullet you shoot, and over time in the air, it just starts to the trajectory eventually well, goes in the animal or it goes into the uh ground. A torpedo, after it's shot, you're consistently just readjusting where the bullseye is. And that's exactly the our leadership at home and work. We have to continue recalibrate to make sure we are headed towards that bullseye.

Mindset And Self Fulfilling Prophecy

SPEAKER_00 12:23

That's so good. And I think the the one principle I gotta say that I didn't have on myself is self-accountability. And when you're revisiting um from a professional or a personal, you're sitting there with your wife or you're sitting there with your team, hold yourself self-accountable. If your entire team did what they were asked coming out of that strategy meeting, and you get to this next meeting and revisit and check-ins and you didn't do what you were supposed to do, Mr. Leader Man, you need to apologize to that team who worked so hard to move to this. And guys, I'm gonna cut out some time in my schedule and ensure this is done and I will get back to you. Because that self-accountability, if they held themselves accountable, or even better, where you can build a web of checks and balances within that accountability structure moving through your towards your goals, that always helps. Uh four eyes are always better than two. Like have somebody else check it. Hey, am I am I am I mean what we're talking about here? Am I totally far off? And and before you get to those, you know, check the results, but make sure when the results come out and there's accountability, need laid out, you have to have accountability. Think, learn, act, right? You have to have that accountability, verified information to hold people to the fire to ensure that this moves past the strategy meeting. You're absolutely right, Corey. Everybody goes, oh man, we we sat down and talked about it. We know the problem. Okay. Well, we all know the problem now, and we're all trying to fix it, but you the owner has to buy in. I'm putting a lot because I I screwed that up. And I've came to those meetings where where the team is trying to push us along and I just didn't have time. You guys should understand and just move on. No, ding ding. You got to apologize. Hey guys, thank you so much for doing what I asked you to do. I screwed this one up. Give me about a week, I'll have this in your inbox. And let's let's schedule a I apologize to create another meeting, but in two weeks, I'd like to have another check-in. I want you guys to hold me accountable and watch the team response or watch your wife's response. And the other thing I want to say I want to share really quick, Corey, is you know, you cannot there's some probably some some men and women listening to this and going, yeah, but it's just gonna be the same result. It's just it's just gonna be the same conversation. I'm trying to do this kickoff meeting, but I this sounds so tangible for us, and this is what we need, but man, I know I already know the result. Well, if you're going into that kickoff meeting and you're wanting a different result, you're going to have to bring a different attitude on both sides. And and don't let it get out of the barriers and the boundaries. It's a very clear and direct meeting. Some feelings are going to get hurt. Um, but also too, we this is the step to get us moving forward um towards what you do want it to be. So I just wanted to ensure that everybody, uh I wanted to kill that notion. You cannot believe that going back into this. Well, I've tried this for two years. Well, try something different. And I just wanted to encourage that, but I know you can speak on that too as well.

SPEAKER_01 15:38

Well, just I think so much of life can become a self-fulfilled prophecy. I mean, if you think it's gonna be awesome, odds are it's gonna be awesome because you're gonna stay in the fight. You know, you may get kicked in the teeth a little bit, but you're gonna get back up. And then in the end, it's gonna end up to be awesome. But if you think, oh, this is gonna be awful, well, odds are it's gonna be awful because you're you're gonna have one foot in, one foot out. If the if your spouse responds a certain way, you'll be like, yep, I knew it. And then you check out. And guess what? The end result was awful. So I think a lot of things can, in fact, happen to be self-fulfilled prophecy. So, Cy, I I completely agree. Go into it with a good mindset of good results, but also make sure you're doing it different. I mean, that's the right the definition of insanity. Keep doing the same thing and different reasons, expect the results is insane, as Albert Einstein said.

The Five Capitals Framework

SPEAKER_00 16:32

Recalibrate, though, is hey, that meeting didn't work. Do the circle, recalibrate, retry. It's too important for you not to, though. Just understand that it's your duty and your responsibility um as a leader of your household. And that may be uh a lady listening to this show as well. Either way, it's your duty. If it's not working at home, sit down. That is the number one place. But Corey, could you help us define some strategies? And you've met more business owners that are dealing with this exact struggle than I have. Could you help give those folks strategies? Say they do have a great kickoff meeting. Hey, we agree on some goals. What are some steps that these guys can take, um, professionally or personally, doesn't matter, to get from point A to point B.

Scorecards And Tracking What Matters

SPEAKER_01 18:24

Yeah, I think first is identify what are those end goals, where where are you headed? Um, at work, it's I I kind of mentioned at work, it's identify what's not working, what is working, and there's some other questions I'll ask leadership teams. And from there, identify those five focus areas that we need to work on. So that's one way. At home, it's I use five different buckets. I talk about it in the uh book Went Home First, but the five capitals that I learned this in 2013 when I hired my first coach, and it was life-changing. Uh, and I don't say that just for effect. It was true. I was in corporate America in 2013. I was vice president of$120 million division inside an overall billion-dollar company, and we sold civil engineering products. We sold storm sewer, water quality units, geotextiles, you know, products into the civil space. And I just share that piece of the$120 million vision in an overall billion-dollar company because our division was the most profitable inside the overall company. And all that means is lots of visibility. Always hearing from the executive team, how are the results? Why was profitability lower this month than last month? What's the gap analysis? Kind of all these pieces to figure out how to get the business going. And so, Sai, in my life, what that looked like is all this pressure. I was 37 years old at the time. I just was promoted over my boss. I now was managing him. I was managing people in the industry longer, the who people have been in the company longer. So I had imposter syndrome. I was always just waiting for them to knock on the door to say, hey, Corey, you were a great sales guy, but man, you're not very good at leading people. And so this just caused me to overwork. I skipped the gym, I skipped quiet time. My fame, my kids would be playing on the floor at night, and I was on the couch with my face buried into a laptop. And I was like, I need a better, I need this, this has got to change. And I went to my boss who I really liked and respected. And I said, I didn't tell him all the details, but I just said, hey, I need help. He said, get a coach. I've always had one. I was like, well, I wish you would have told me this sooner. But I hired a coach. In that process, I learned about these five capitals. And fast forward to now, I now coach for a living because the change had had in my life, and I want to help others. So the five capitals, and so when you get together and you're when you review your own personal life, use these. I've taught this to these to my three kids. This is family discussion tools as well. The first is spiritual. Whether you're a person of faith or not, we have to have this overall spiritual time in our life of where we're not always listening to a podcast. You and I both have podcasts. So we are not uh, you know, we're not saying listen to podcasts all the time. We need breaks from them. When you're driving in your truck, maybe don't have a podcast on, don't have music on, just sit there and think. Are you journaling? Are you reflecting? When you walk a dog, are you listening to AirPods? Or are you just quiet? So spiritual capital is about creating space to read scripture, to read something positive, to journal, to pray, to meditate. Because spiritual capital gives us wisdom and power. So that's the first one is spiritual capital. And so for an individual, what are your goals spiritually to grow? Maybe you've never sat and been quiet for five minutes a day. Try it. Maybe go to 10 minutes. Maybe it's read a chapter a day of the Bible or a devotion. Journal. Whatever that may be. But so that's spiritual capital. The second one's relational capital. This is about who are you doing life with? This is about the qual the quality and the depth of friendships you have. And Cy for a lot of people listening, this would this will hit hard. Because one, I think a lot of people miss on spiritual capital because we're always listening to noise. We're never making space for just that quiet time to think. Secondly, there's a lot of people listening that are not dating their spouse, they're not being intentional with their kids, and very possibly, and this is also part of my story, they don't have friends. And I say it's part of my story is when I was president of sales for I was president of sales for a specialty contractor, and we were national. Every week I traveled, I was super employee. I was working hard, I was pouring into my team, just like a lot of the listeners do. Then on the weekend, I was trying to be super husband, super dad, going on dates with my wife, being intentional with my kids. And I was talking to my coach, and I just made a comment that and I'm pouring into everyone else, but I don't feel like anyone's pouring into me. And he just called me out and he just said, hey, the reason why is you have no friends. And the truth is, I had some guys I could go have a beer with or have a coffee with, but we just talked sports and weather. But then when I started to think about it more, I didn't have any friends of depth where I could talk about the ups and downs of marriage, the challenges of parenting, work burnout, imposter syndrome, any of these topics. And so what I ended up doing size, I put together a list of about 15 guys. I went speed dating with them, and guys, we talked of things of depth. I was like, I want more of them. And where we just only talk sports and weather, I was like, I'll see these guys once every six months. So I put together a group, and every Thursday morning we get together and talk, and once a year we go to Florida for a guy's trip. So relational capital for the listener, think about how are you doing in this capital. The third one's physical capital. This is about time and energy. What time you go to bed, what time you wake up, are you working out? What are you putting in your body? From you know addictions to monster drinks to whatever it is, what are you doing for your body? Because what ends up happening, everything we do, I mean, you everyone listening to this, they're in the civil space, they get it. A little bit of water over time can eventually take a goalie or a swale that had some structure to it and blow it out because what compounds eventually just eventually erodes. It's gone. You just lost the the walls of the riverbank. And so it's one of those items we just got to be careful of. Are we doing the time and energy we want to get the results that we're going after? That's physical capital. The fourth one is intellectual capital. This is the the this is about insights and ideas. Are you listening to podcasts? Are you reading books? But not just consuming, but are you implementing the content? Just for the listeners on this podcast, there's a lot we've talked about so far. Instead of being overwhelmed, like, oh my goodness, there's a lot there. Grab one thing and implement it. Just take one. If you haven't been on a date with your spouse in a while, go on a date in the next week. If you haven't had any alone time inside scripture or journaling or with your thoughts, in the next few days, do 10 minutes. Implement something. If it works, stack on top of it. Start stacking wins. And the fifth capital think about in your own life and then also in your family is financial. This isn't just about how much money you make. That is a part of it, but it's it's about what's your relationship with money? How are you leveraging money for the other capitals? I'll hear from a lot of guys. Well, we don't go on dates because babysitters are expensive. Well, let me just tell you, dates are cheaper than divorce. And so, how can you leverage that lower capital for higher capitals? So, those are the five capitals. I use that in my personal life. I build out, you know, another question you ask is, hey, well, you know, what are some strategies people use? So, well, those are the capitals. Then you need scorecards. So I have a dashboard in my life about what are the goals I have for each of those capitals and how am I tracking. And I build one out for all members of a RICE community as well as for just one-on-one clients. Because what you track gets traction. If you start paying attention to certain numbers in your life, how often you're getting the gym, how many times you go on dates, you'll see it progress.

Presence At Home Phones Down

SPEAKER_00 28:16

There is uh there's a lot to unpack there, sir. That is uh man. The the number one thing I'd like to say, the first thing that comes to mind is guys, you guys are so focused up on money, paying this bill, getting that invoice paid, getting this in the door, doing that. I know you guys are all living that life. But to win at home, it's number five on the list. And that's, I gotta say, uh I've got some points that I'd like to share, no doubt. But no better point is proven here that money is a tool to buy time. That's all it is. You want time at the end of the day, whether it's time with your kids or you're you're a single man and it's time to go fishing, or ladies, go hang out with your friends, the trips, whatever it is. Money is a tool to leverage your time. That's all it is. And how you create and manifest that money into your life, that's a totally different subject. But I just wanted I I say it on, I probably don't say it on this show as much as I, but it's one of those personal mottos with me because in the entrepreneurial chase or um tenure, I guess you would say, you can get so focused and tunnel visioned on just the money. It's easy. We've all done it. Um, any anybody that's actually done the entrepreneurial thing has absolutely got caught up on chasing money and putting things to the sideline. But yeah, I completely agree, and and I'm and I'm gonna take the time and be vulnerable with your five points here, sir, about what I have done within my own life to just broadcast it to our listeners here today, because you the point you hit home, Corey, is it's so accurate. We just anytime we uh dissect some new information into our into our noggins here, we're all sitting there and immediately we feel overwhelmed. Oh my God, that just that's just way too much. But I'm gonna give you some things that I have done, whether it's in the last 90 days or the last two years, in each one of these categories. If you just bear with me just a second, Corey. But on the spiritual side, uh this year in the last 90 days, uh, I think I've missed nine days, and most of those are weekends. But read my Bible. The Bible is a book, but there is so many other books within that one book. And so I broke it down even for me. I want to get through the New Testament. That's where, that's really what I want to read the life of the man that I, of course, would have loved to, you know, just replicate within my life. That's that's the overall goal, right? And so I've been reading through the gospels. I've gotten through two books of the gospel. I mean, uh Luke and Matthew already, and we ain't even out of the first quarter. I understand they're only 25 chapters long, but one be at the board. And I'll just say one thing too.

SPEAKER_01 31:19

Dad, you have to be there. And I had a client tell me, uh, tell me a story that I still I still think of a lot, where uh my client was with this boy playing, hanging out, and his and his son was telling him a story, and he said, Dad, listen to me. And he goes, I am. And the son says, Listen with your eyes. And my buddy was obviously heartbroken because he was playing, he was present with this kid, but his phone was in his hand. And he was the kid, six years old, was smart enough to know, man, my dad's not listening to me, he's distracted. And and so family dinners, hanging out with your kids, on dates, put the phone away, be present, look at the people you're talking to in the eyes and talk and hang out and be curious and ask questions and be empathetic. But it's it starts with hey, be present. And if you do that, that's a win. And just to reiterate what you're saying, Cy, is our spouses, our kids want our presence more than the provision. Yes, we need to provide for our families for sure. Whatever, whether we're the breadwinner or whether we're just a contributor, it doesn't matter. There needs to be a profession, uh provision component, I get it, and we're made to work. So all that's there. But at the end of the day, they want some provision, but they don't need like net next level provision that we put this burden on ourselves that we do. They would much rather have us hang out and play with them. And you and I are joking about this before we hit record. You can have an amazing production week at work, maybe break a goal of how many linear feet of pipe was installed or how much footage of drilling you did, whatever the case may be. But if you missed out on a ton of family stuff or you weren't present, your spouse is not going to care about what you broke. I had a client and a buddy, we are having this conversation. He came home and told his wife about this huge client they just landed. Marriage was a little tense in the moment uh at that time. Her response was good. You've not been around, so I'm glad you're winning somewhere. But even though none of our spouses may verbally say that out loud, they could be thinking it. And so we want to be working in a way where we're present with our family enough so that they they feel part of the mission, they feel part of what we're doing.

Teaching Kids Resilience Through Hard Days

SPEAKER_00 34:14

You know, I mentioned Aaron earlier, but we we talked about this. Sitting at that family dinner, do they really even know what you do? Do your kids even know what you do? Talk, you don't have to talk about the hustle and bustle, but talk about the 30,000-foot view. Hey, the reason we went and got drinks at the restaurant that we ate at on Tuesday night is because daddy and his crew put the water line in the ground that attached to the existing water line that brought the hydrant that put the meter in so the plumber could run a line to the building. Did you know that? What? It's cool. You can you can share the cool parts. But one of back back to that, you know, time and capital is sitting at that family dinner. It's a big thing for us. 6 to 6:30, like somewhere in there, where it doesn't matter if it's freaking McDonald's and we're sitting together, but we have two different tables. We'll pick one, we'll sit and sit across. Hey, what was your favorite two things of the day? That's our things with our kids. And we're as parents always we're picking up new stuff all the time. Like, you haven't talked about that. What do you mean that was your favorite thing of the day? Like, I haven't even heard about that. But at the same time, they get to hear mom and dad, even when dad's sitting there at dinner, staring at his full plate of dinner, just hand in motion. You it's it's that routine, that discipline. Hey, daddy, what was the best two things that happened to you today? And it forces me, I can't tell them all the bad. It forces me to concentrate on the good that happened that day. So it's even an exercise for my 35-year-old, you know, not just the seven and the nine that are sitting at the table, but investing that time with them and being there. The other thing I would say that I skipped kind of over is saying that goodnight prayer with my family every night and before we walk out the door every day as a group, as together, is something that I wish every family did. It doesn't have to be not much. It can be good, Lord, just watch over us today and let us all come back together. But it's the intentionality of you grabbing your family and go, you guys are the most important thing of my entire day before running out. And let me also just preface as I'm going through this, I'm sharing a lot of good things I'm doing now. I am not sitting here trying to spotlight, look what I'm doing. I'm telling you, I have screwed it up so badly, so, so badly. And I am telling you some easy, very bite-sized things that you can implement. And to Corey's point, choose one. Start that. Run it for two weeks. Make sure there's discipline and repetition before you start adding something else or involving anybody else. You're the foundation, you're the bridge, you have to start acting like it. And once you start creating a little bit of change in that two weeks, everybody in that family unit's gonna be, hey dad, what are you doing? Why you you didn't used to do this? Why, why is this so important? It creates an environment for change, but you have to be willing to be the first one in that family. If nothing, nobody else is creating change, create it because it's worth it. You're exactly right, Corey.

SPEAKER_01 37:20

Um the one thing I just add on that piece is yes, our kids need to know what we do. Absolutely. I think that's awesome. Just so they can get more visibility in the world and feel part of the mission. Number two, I think it's fantastic talking about wins. Like, what are the highs of the day? Like that's good, good stuff. Uh, as leaders, as business owners, we don't celebrate wins. We just, you know, we almost expect it. Like we did it. Now move on. Let's go. Chop, chop. We we got to get in mixed next month's numbers. But I think another element that gets overlooked, and part of it, I do think is a contributor to some of that mental health piece you talk about uh at the very beginning of statistics, is I think it's important to also talk about the hard times at work with our kids. We can't just act like it's all good, good, good. Hey, I don't want to, I don't want to tell them uh uh why dad's upset today at dinner, you know, because I had a key employee quit or the job did not go well. I don't want to tell them that. You know, I don't want them to know that. Well, that's not healthy because if we don't share the bad, when the bad happens in their life, they get cut from a team, they get a bad grade on a test, they start to think, uh-oh, I'm not like my dad. My dad's and my mom, they seem to always do good things. And here I am striking out. I'm a problem. However, if we share the the ups and the downs with our kids, it builds resiliency. Our kids can borrow our stories and be like, yeah, I got knocked down, but I'm gonna get back up again. Because you know why? My dad does. My dad has had some bad days at work, the truck broke down, the the employee quit. But man, he got back up, and I can get back up. And so I we can't share all the bad news all the time, and we have to share it age appropriately, no, no, no, no doubt about it. But my kids know about the challenges our marriage has had. My kids know about the financial challenges we've had because I want to share them with them. One, as I mentioned, that they can have resiliency, but also from a watch out standpoint. Hey, mom and dad, we we've you know, we're we'll be married 27 years this summer, which is awesome. But it hasn't been cupcakes and balloons all the time, and nor will your marriage. And so when you get in your first fight, don't run.

Books Rise Community And Support

SPEAKER_00 40:11

No, dude, that is uh and the other key point that really woke me up, you know, that six-year-old talking to your coaching member there. Um, you know, my six-year-old, seven-year-old boy, he's my oldest, looked at me, and I had that moment of, no, dad, like, I want to play ball. You're just sitting there. Like, throw the ball with me. Oh, dude, I'll never forget it. And um never do I ever and subconsciously, I swear, I truly hope somebody's listening to this and grabs a hold of this. You do not want that seven, eight, nine-year-old boy or little girl thinking you they are causing your stress. And so if you don't share, yes, I agree. We don't share enough wins in our house. It's a lot of chaos. So they're very accustomed to hearing the struggles and how we moved past it. And so, yes, you're right. You have got to not just shoulder it all and then put it in this melon that's on top of your shoulders and just keep it there. You absolutely have to share some struggles within parameters that your kids can understand. And not only, hey, this was the struggle, but this is how I got over it. And two or three days later, you remember I was talking about that, and daddy was so stressed. Yeah. Well, this is what I did. No way. Awesome. Like, and share that joy because disappointment, you're exactly right. We have got to empower our kids as you know, millennials and go on in generations, but we have to empower our kids to be ready for disappointment after 18. It's a disappointing world. Life isn't fair, life is tough, it is very difficult. They're promised trials and tribulations. Exactly. And and and they have got to understand that mom and dad are going through them every single day. And we're figuring out how together, how to get past this hurdle or this bottleneck or this or that to ensure that our lives are being lived appropriately and to, you know, our family culture that we want. But we, mom and dad, have a ton of things to do to ensure that not only is you know mama's job to keep food on the table, but it's our job as daddy a lot of times to make sure that table stays under the food. Um, and I had a buddy of a mentor of mine said that to me, and it really shook me. You're right. You know, it's um the dichotomy, normal family dichotomy that makes total sense. And that a lot of time is sitting at that table thinking about what about how is this table going to stay up underneath this food for another week, a month, six months, whatever it may be. But you have to share that disappointment and help create an environment to help your children get over disappointment. My son was so mad at me the other night, just mad at the world, not me. And I was trying to pull it out of him, like, Bubba, what's wrong? We just left, we beat the team, everything's great. Well, I didn't get to pitch. And I'm like, Bubba, I I get it, but you were there. You helped the team, we had a victory, right? Yes. Well, sometimes it's not always about us. Sometimes it's about the team. Sometimes we have to take a backseat for the team to make the win. And it's very challenging to understand, especially when you feel like you're, you know, kind of the star employee or star of the team or whatever it is, for you to take that backseat for a minute is challenging. It's tough. It's hard on your mental because you have, you know, my son is works very, very, very hard to be where he's at on the baseball diamond. And so when he has to take a backseat for another child or whatever, he just doesn't understand. He's like, but that he's not working. He's not throwing a baseball three days a week like I am, too, 100 balls into the net. Like, why? And so, but it's this it's relatable in the professional environment as well, where we're like, hey man, dude, I've worked so hard to get to this point. Why is this guy? So I just wanted to make sure and hammer that point home. You never want your child sitting at home. It has nothing to do with them. You I understand you're not giving them a reason to understand your stress and you've got it all shouldered, but they'll start to wonder sitting there and recurringly, am I the reason daddy's always stressed when he's around? And I promise you that is the worst sinking feeling you'll ever have as a dad in your life, and you'll do some things to change about it. And I I believe what we've laid out here, sir, is uh in in this quick 45 minutes, has been it's gonna help me. Remind me, revisit. I got some things to revisit. Um, guys. Just take a second, Mr. Corey, if you wouldn't mind. I talk about Rise and Go and Win at Home and where they can get it and the Rise community as well. And talk about a few things that what you're doing every day to help the other audience members and uh keep keep this path moving.

SPEAKER_01 45:11

Yeah, thanks. And thanks for having me, Cy, and just getting this word out to your audience. Thanks for letting me be a part of it. Yeah, Win at Home First. I wrote the book because I lost at Home First. And so I just encourage people, it's it's a guide. There's there's tools, there's frameworks, there's items that will help your marriage, your parenting, and as well as work. The second one is called Rise and Go. And the reason I wrote that book is because uh I fell down. I got knocked down. I went all into coaching March 1st, 2020, which was COVID. And uh when that happened, I lost a whole bunch of revenue. I was mad at God. I was frustrated. I was like, God, I left corporate. I thought off your uh your direction, and and and look at me now. This is awful. And uh God took me on an awesome journey to help me get back up. Rise and go. The actual phrase is from Acts 8, 9, and 10 in the ESV, the English Standard Version, where God tells three different individuals to rise and go. And so I just heard this in the summer of 2020. I'm like, man, I need to rise and go. I need to get out of my pity party and get back up and go. So it the idea of rise and go is that all leaders get knocked down. It's just the great leaders get back up quicker. So rise and go is 20 different chapters with with tools and and concepts to help you get back up. And it's it's I'm grateful it's been able to bless thousands of uh leaders who've read it. And then you you can get those at Amazon, uh both those books. And then Rise Community, most of my business is one-on-one coaching. And about a little over a year ago, I just felt it through a prompting and in my quiet time to start a community because not everyone can afford one-on-one coaching. It's it's not uh it's not cheap. But men need help. And so launched a community. We've got over 105 people in there right now, and we talk homework and faith every single Monday. And not everyone can be on the calls. I like I mentioned, we got over a hundred folks in there, but 30 to 40 show up to the calls. We do breakouts, and I'm sharing content from my one-on-one coaching sessions into this group. So the value is you get content, but side, you get community. You're surrounded by guys who are talking about the ups and downs of their marriage, their parenting, their work. And guys are getting vulnerable. And we've already passed a one-year anniversary with Ryzen, and guys are renewed. They're sticking around because it's working. And so I'm just it's such a cool thing. And I'm learning. Plus, we have keynote speakers once a month, and some of the speakers we've had have been uh just pretty powerful. So it's been a blast. You can learn more at rise-community.com. Love to have uh any of you listeners join us. And uh it's a high construction uh industry or uh community right now because of some of the clients I've coached have talked about it on their podcast or in their uh in their circles, and therefore it's attracting construction folks. So uh it's pretty cool. Thank you.

If The Story Is Not Good

SPEAKER_00 48:24

Just thank you, man. Thank you for number one listening to him, creating a community for guys like myself and a and a lot of other folks that I talk with that stand on these islands um all by themselves and they feel like they're alone, but there are communities out there, and um I appreciate you being willing to it's not easy. I I have found out through the underground network, through the ups and downs, you know, with our we launched in January. It's all surrounding the pipe community, very similar. Um, but yeah, it's been a little bit of a have some flow of figuring uh figuring out exactly how we can help that community the best way possible. Uh, one last thing, brother, before you go, I ask everybody here um every single episode, what is a key takeaway for that blue-collar guy, or man or woman sitting out there just absolutely crushed by life and just feel like they're stuck in the mud mentally, physically, or emotionally, give them a piece of advice to to get up out of that uh mindset and power through and rise and go through life.

Where To Listen Rate And Share

SPEAKER_01 49:35

No matter where you're at, where you're where you are, if uh if the story's not good, it's not over. And so if you are feeling your marriage is not working, your your teenage kid doesn't like you, you're concerned about financial bills, it is not over. And and I'm not just saying that as uh a nice into a podcast, it's my story. Um, I I had an affair and I rebounded, and we're still married, which is awesome. I almost filed bankruptcy and even met with the bankruptcy attorney because a bunch of real estate gone bad in 2008, uh, or you know, with the recession, and I was able to uh rebound from that as well. Left corporate, started the entrepreneurial journey, it went sideways, come COVID. But now, fast forward now, I've been doing this full-time for six years and have helped over 275 uh leaders went at home, went at work. So I just share those real life examples of moments that I thought it was over. And yet I was able to prevail, and it's pretty cool. And so the same thing is true for all of you. And I I just got I just kind of heard this idea. We just came out of Easter as we record this, and what is often a problem becomes a praise later. And what I mean by that, and then is when Mary went to the tomb and saw that the rock was moved, that was a problem. Where is he? And that was a problem, and she was concerned. But now, fast forward 2,000 years later, that that her problem is now a praise. And the praise is that that tomb is empty, and that Jesus died on the cross for our sins three days later, left the tomb, the tomb is empty and in and rose. And so, for that listener who has a problem in their life, it will be a praise later. You will be speaking to somebody at a coffee table, maybe even from a stage, but from somewhere, you will be sharing this story of how you recovered your marriage, your parenting, your work, your addiction, whatever it is, to a point that now it's a praise, and you are sharing that story with other people to make them better.

SPEAKER_00 52:11

That's unbelievable. Literally, thank you so much for your time. Go find Corey. He's a great follow on LinkedIn as well for you guys that are new on LinkedIn, uh, the audience members. I encourage them every day. LinkedIn is such a weapon uh for any entrepreneurial trying to push any type of service or just brand awareness. So, Corey's a great one to follow on LinkedIn, and he's talking about rising and going, and he's talking about winning at home first. And it's such a uh mantra that I am, it's top of my priority list. And so, as it should be, everyone today, guys. I really hope you enjoyed today's episode. Uh, if you want to go find other episodes, go check out blue collarbusinesspodcast.com. It's all free to watch and listen from the website itself or on Spotify, Amazon, iHeart, Apple, any of the podcast platforms you're already listening, listening to, if you wouldn't mind dropping us a rating and a follow at the end of this episode on whatever platform that may be on. And if it if this really resonates with somebody that you're thinking of, share it with them, if you wouldn't mind. May change your life. And uh that's what this whole show is about is bringing guests like Corey to help the American blue-collar business families across this entire country get better 1% every day. Guys, till next time, you guys be safe out there. If you've enjoyed this episode, be sure to give it a like, share it with the fellas, check out our website to send us any questions and comments about your experience in the blue collar business. Who do you want to hear from? Send them our way. We'll do our best to answer any questions you may have. Till next time, guys.