The Most Dwanderful Real Estate Podcast Ever!

Brad Chandler on Cultivating Self-Love and Property Profit

• Dwan Bent-Twyford • Season 5 • Episode 373

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Ever wonder what it takes to pivot from a profit-centric entrepreneur to a beacon of guidance in the vast ocean of personal development? Brad Chandler, a luminary in real estate and life coaching, joined me, Gwamen Twyford, to chart this transformative journey. Together, we navigated the waters of self-love and unwavering positivity, illuminating the true north for seekers of professional and personal enrichment.

Our voyage delved into the undercurrents of childhood trauma and the potent influence it has on our adult lives, surfacing practical wisdom on nurturing self-love amidst the ebb and flow of life’s challenges. Brad's insights into the art of parenting with compassion, and the importance of connection over correction, provided a lifeline for listeners caught in the riptides of family dynamics. Our conversation was a testament to the healing power of self-awareness and the bold steps toward reclaiming one's happiness.

As we cast our nets wider, we explored the deceptive shallows where wealth masquerades as happiness. Brad and I shared tales of conquering fears and scarcity, emphasizing the richness of helping others and the fulfillment that comes from chasing passion over profit. The episode closed with a reminder to cherish life's simple joys, drawing from the melodies of George Strait to the solace of a good book at twilight. Tune in for an episode that throws an anchor into the bedrock of self-growth and casts a light on the path to a more rewarding life.

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Make it a Dwanderful Day!

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Hey everybody, welcome to The Most Dwanderful Real Estate Podcast Ever. I am so excited that you're here today. This is my backyard in Florida, so you've been watching me Zoom the last few weeks in the actual yard, but today we thought we'd try it and see how it looks as my background. So I'm Dwan Bent-T wyford. I'm America's most sought after real estate investor. I'm super excited you're here today. Our motto at Dwanderful is people before profits, so if that resonates with you, you're at the right place. I'm your girl and I've got your guy. Today I have Brad Chandler. He is a wicked smart man. So, Brad, how are you today?

Brad Chandler:

I'm awesome and I love your view from behind you.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Yes, well, that is.

Brad Chandler:

I went out just this very morning, took a picture and I'm like, yeah, I like it, I'd much rather, you should have invited me to do this podcast live, because I'd much rather be there than in cold Virginia.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Well, you know, we can always do another one in a few months and you just come right down and I've got another chair right here next to me and we'll do it live.

Brad Chandler:

Let's do. It Sounds good.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I tell people all the time hey, if you want to come do one in Florida, I'm totally game to do them live.

Brad Chandler:

Sweet.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

All right, so everyone that's watching you can reach me at dwanderful. com. So I took my name Dwan and wonderful, and I made a new word and we're going to dive in and talk to Brad. But, brad, first of all we like to have a toast. So are you drinking something I actually have? What is that?

Brad Chandler:

It's a big old water pitcher, oh.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I have this new one. Bill got me this. It says wipey.

Brad Chandler:

Love it. What are we toasting?

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

To you. Thank you for being on the show, cheers Everyone that's watching. Take a drink, everybody. Take a stretch, wrap yourself and get back in here with us and hang out with us for a little while and I guarantee that you are going to have a good time. So I feel like, kind of the way we do it is, we just sort of talk and we start off, like I said, with a toast, we do a little stretch and we just want people to feel like they're sitting with us hanging out and listening to this amazing conversation.

Brad Chandler:

Love it.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

That's kind of the deal. So the first thing I like to do, I'm throwing you straight into the wolves. I want you to tell everybody just in a couple of sentences what you do and how people can reach you, and then we're going to. I've got some questions. Oh see, there's my screen. You can't see it.

Brad Chandler:

Yeah, what's my deal? Well, before I tell you my deal, I love the freaking people over profits because for 47 years I put profits over people because I was trying to prove something, because I didn't feel worthy. So absolutely love that. We should come back to that. But what's my story?

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Real quick because I'm going to ask you questions.

Brad Chandler:

Okay, yeah, I own a real estate investment company that does a couple hundred houses a year. It runs without me and I spend all of my time helping entrepreneurs overcoming limiting beliefs from childhood that they don't even know typically exist, that are causing them to have whatever issue they're having in life their struggles, their bad marriage, or eating or drinking, or depression, anxiety and I help them overcome that and, when they do, they get to live a life of freedom and happiness that they deserve.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

They do deserve it. And tell everybody how to find you social media, your website. I want all your info in the beginning of the show notes.

Brad Chandler:

Yeah, brad Chandlercom forward slash contact has literally even my cell phone number. My self-love quiz, my, my podcast, everything can be. All my social links can be found at Brad Chandlercom forward slash contact.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Okay, that's easy enough. And Chandler is C H A N D L E R Chandler com forward slash contact. Chandler is C-H-A-N-D-L-E-R. Chandlercom forward slash contact. You can't get any easier than that.

Brad Chandler:

Boom.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Boom, so I like your background.

Brad Chandler:

Thankful love I see your books, am I sure?

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Oh wait, the only diet that works is self-love. Well, that is true, you know. I like what you said about people helping them overcome their self-limiting beliefs and stuff like that, and I agree you and I talked a little bit the other day. I feel like so many people are stuck or maybe don't do things or try things because of the voices in their head which are usually the naysayers, possibly parents and family members. I feel like a lot of people are just kind of stuck or they don't know how to. They don't know, like how do I start a business? Where does my mind need to be my life? I've heard you know, get a job. Like I told you, get a job, work at a factory, get married, have kids, retire when you're 60. It's like why would I want to do that?

Brad Chandler:

Yeah, it's kind of sad how so many people are stuck in jobs they don't like, marriages that they don't like, bodies and fitness and health that they don't like. And it's a pretty simple formula how to get out of it you have to go back to the source, because no one was born with anxiety or depression or workaholism or anything really. They were all learned behaviors through our experiences. So we just go back to those experiences and we figure out what were the meanings that you told yourself that you're still hanging on to today. They served you great as a six-year-old to get through that tough time, but as a 46-year-old a 56-year-old, I promise you they are negatively affecting your relationships, your health, your business success. So, yeah, no one has to be stuck. You weren't put in this world to suffer and struggle, I promise.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

You know you said that on the phone the other day that I'm sorry, I promise you know. You said that on the phone the other day that I'm sorry.

Brad Chandler:

I think I uh my thing, bill's trying to choke me with my wifey mug.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I took like two big of a sip fighting it. You said that the other day and you said uh, I think you said something about that worked at six, doesn't work at 46. And I really liked that and I wanted you to kind of explain, like what does that mean? Because I hear people say things all the time Well, what worked and doesn't work now. But you said that the other day and then you said again today and I thought about that. I thought you know, what do we do when we're six? Like what are we trying to? I don't know. All I remember is just being little. I don't even remember being that age trying to. I don't know, all I remember is just being little, I don't even remember being that age, but give me an example of something that affects today.

Brad Chandler:

Yeah, and so there lies the problem, Dwan, and that is, if you don't remember it, if you can't recall it, your body and mind always remember it, but if you can't recall it, then you don't know. If you want to change your behavior, but you don't know what's changing that behavior. How can you ever change that behavior? You can't, and that's kind of the magic of what I do. But I'm going to use myself as an example. So I'm six years old, I'm seven years old, I'm eight.

Brad Chandler:

However old I am, I'm getting hit with a belt. My dad's hitting me with a belt, my dad's making fun of me. My parents fought all the time. So my six-year-old brain has to come up with a reason. Why is this happening to me?

Brad Chandler:

So in my situation, it was. I must be bad, I must deserve this punishment, because if it's my dad's problem, then I can't control it and I'm screwed. But if I'm bad, all I've got to do is be good and I can get the love that I want from him. So it's my brain giving me a hope for a better tomorrow. So it actually helps you. It helps you survive and put yourself in whatever your dad wasn't at all your games or he was absent from your life. Well, he wasn't there because he didn't love me. It's my fault, so if I can just be lovable, he'll love me. So that's how you survive as a child. When you're 46 years old and you've never owned a boat, and you're buying a 42-foot boat and you're taking it to the Bahamas and you don't even know how to read a chart, because your subconscious mind is telling you you're still bad and you need to prove yourself. That doesn't serve you. That was my story.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

So, like literally, you took a boat to the Bahamas without a map.

Brad Chandler:

I didn't even know that the day before I left, I bought a boat and 60 days later I'm behind the wheel cruising towards the Bahamas. The night before, my friend is telling me how to read a chart. He's like red, green, you stay on this side of red and this side on green. So yeah, and I made it to the Florida Keys and then that was when my transformation happened and I realized, oh my gosh, the only reason I did this is because I was trying to. It was just. It was one of like 50 things in my life over the first 47 years that I tried to prove that I was trying to. It was just. It was one of like 50 things in my life over the first 47 years that I tried to prove that I was worthy, and most of those things caused me harm rather than good.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Yeah, that's so interesting because as an adult, I you know you wouldn't know that. Like you know, my dad did this and this is why I'm that way. So when a person makes a decision, they're like okay, I don't know. Do people feel like did you know that that was something that happened as a child? Or did you have to research, like where? What was your moment? You said that was the thing. But how did you relate that back? How does someone go back?

Brad Chandler:

So I had no idea I wasn't searching for help. The negative things that happened in my life were five business mistakes that cost my partner nine $9 million between 2003 and 2017. Two marriages that didn't work. Two kids with anxiety. Not great relationships with my kids at the time. The use of weed and alcohol. I just thought, look, everyone uses weed and alcohol. I picked two bad wives, you know. I just justified everything, so I wasn't actively looking for help. I thought I loved myself, I thought I had a great. But you saw me for years on the internet Like I've got my shit together, I've got a successful company. Everyone knew Express Home home buyers. We weren't. We weren't one of the tops. We got involved in the we buy houses lawsuit, which was another thing about trying to prove my worth. That cost me $2 million, so I wasn't even looking.

Brad Chandler:

I thought everything was fine in my world, right, it was trying to get my son help for anxiety that I was on a call like this with a performance coach and she said you blink like crazy when you talk about your childhood. You may have unresolved childhood trauma that's affecting your son's anxiety. And I'm like no way. No, I'm the greatest dad. I'm a single dad. I do everything for my son, but I was like sure I'll try anything.

Brad Chandler:

And I went out there and in the course of a weekend, really, a three-hour session with this guy, my life forever changed. And what did we do? We went back to my childhood and we went back to the times where there was stressful times, I had control taken from me, there was some type of trauma, and we figured out the stories that I told myself. And the stories I told myself was something's wrong with me, I'm not enough. And then I quickly realized was that the truth, or was that my perception of it? And was it really my dad and his issues? And it was. And at that point in time, oh my gosh, I became free and I could become myself. And that's when my life has radically changed in these last three years.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

That's so amazing and you know there are so many. I mean, I'm 65 now, so I have so many friends that now talk about things that happened to them as a child, like really a shocking amount of people that I know were molested and you know like really heavy things. Yeah, of family do I come from? The people I don't know? I assume a lot of people like you, younger 20s and 30s. I mean I was married twice before Bill.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I did my fair share of champagne and cocaine, like a lot of it in my 20s and I didn't even settle down until I became a mom. I was like, oh, I can't be doing that, I'm going to raise this baby over here. I know a lot of people that are my age that are trying to reflect back now and try to to figure things out. So I know that that's what you do happiness and freedom coach. So if a person found you and they said, hey, brad, I need help, what would be? What would be like, um, like an action that you could tell them like, okay, take this one, like I wanted you to give be. Like an action that you could tell them Like, okay, take this one, like I want you to give us like an applicable action that someone listening could start here.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Not necessarily, but like here's the thing that I could do today.

Brad Chandler:

To figure it out.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

To see what I need to do.

Brad Chandler:

Yeah. So I've got a shirt on that says the only diet that works is self-love, and I did not make that up, I stole it from Jenny Craig. That's her saying, and I'm going to divert a little bit. I'm going to come back to your question. Everyone has known people that's lost a bunch of weight and put it all back on. Yeah, and they blame themselves. Usually they're like I'm too lazy or I can't stick with a program. No, it has nothing to do with that. It has to do with your lack of self-love from these childhood programming issues that we're talking about.

Brad Chandler:

So a couple of years ago I created a self-love quiz for probably me, my old version of myself, because if I was listening to this, I would have been the guy saying I have high self-esteem, I don't care what other people think and I love myself. So if you go to bradchandlercom forward slash quiz and you spend three minutes of your life taking these 12 questions or multiple choices, you just click a button and you get back a result. You're either going to get back extreme self-love, mild self-love or lack of self-love. If you score mild self-love or lack of self-loved one, it's an indication that likely every area of your life to some degree is negatively affected. That doesn't mean you look at those results and say, oh, my life sucks, woe is me.

Brad Chandler:

Just the opposite. Look at it from the standpoint that, oh my gosh, if I lack self-love, this is the reason that I can trace to every single problem I have in my life and if I just do the, whether you work with me or not, it doesn't matter. But know that there is a better option than going to therapy for 30 years, like I did, in three to five hours. Three hours, I had my breakthrough, and now, with my clients, it's usually between hour three and five. So go take that quiz right now and you're going to know if you have an issue with this childhood programming based on the results this childhood programming based on the results.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I believe it. I mean, when I married Bill, he had two kids, so we became five. All three of my kids are millennials and they're all into the. I go to counseling, I read these books. I'm healing my childhood trauma and all my kids do that and when the first one did, I was like I gave you no trauma and I immediately felt responsible and I thought, no wait, not, it's not my responsibility. Whatever they feel, whatever happened, whatever, whatever. So I encourage all three of them.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

But it's just interesting how the younger generation first of all, sadly, is triggered by literally every single thing in the face of the earth which is ridiculous. And you know they're all like, oh my God, as a child and I get it, I know that that makes us who we are. But I think a lot of people use like I'm triggered by what you said to me. It's like seriously grow a backbone. But I do believe people have a lot of childhood trauma. I don't know what kind of shit happened in my childhood and we do have that and people don't know how to start. They just start reading books.

Brad Chandler:

Well, on that note, like you said, you're not responsible for your child's. You know issues. If you lack self-love as a parent, there is no way that that means that you feel you're not enough to some degree. How can you teach your child how to feel enough if you don't feel enough? So this isn't to cast blame on you or me, because I was in the same boat. We did the absolute best we could do with our childhood. But now that I have a different awareness, my relationship with my two kids is so different than it was three years ago because I'm coming at it from a completely different place and every relationship I have is different. Relationship I have with my, with my girlfriend, is different than it would have been three years ago, because now I see myself in the world through a completely different lens.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I think that's so neat.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I feel like everybody it's funny. After you and I talked in the car, you know, bill was in the car with me and after we hung up he and I talked for a while and he was, like you know, Bill's a hot mess and he was like I have no childhood trauma and I was like dude, I could name like five things that you do on the daily that relate back to you not being your dad. And he just like he, you know he's the kind of guy I still think that in his mind he thinks counseling or help is like for other people. But we we start doing um, it's a like a couple's bible study, working through things, and we start doing that together and I tell you it's made such a big difference for both of us and I'm like dude, all of us have something. All of us like I have my dad too. My dad was the switch or the belt. My grandma was go pick your switch off the tree. It's like I feel like the picking of the switch should be the punishment.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

You don't need to get hit with it. You stand there for 20 minutes trying to find one that's not too big, not too small. It's like that right there. That should be the punishment. Once you pick it off, that should be the end of the road right there.

Brad Chandler:

Well, you and Bill should go after the talk and go take the self-love quiz and tell him the answer honestly and see what you score. But back to hitting a child. Think about this what is the responsibility or what should a mother or father do for their child? They should see them, they should hear them, they should understand them and they should protect them. When you hit a child, you were inflicting physical harm and shame on that kid. How do you think the kid's going to react? Probably like I did. Why is this hat? Why am I getting hit? Cause I'm bad? No, you're not bad. You're not bad. You.

Brad Chandler:

Kids only misbehave for one reason they lack connection with a parent and if you put them in timeout or you hit them, all you're doing is further disconnecting disconnecting them from yourself and from them. I like that, they like. Just, they lack a connection with the parents and they're just trying to. They want love. They're calling for love and attention, and what most parents do, including myself. I never hit my kids, but I would put them in timeout and it's just not good. It's, you know, and someone's gonna hear this and be like oh time I. One of my mentors has a guy that had major problems at 35 years old because his parents would put him in timeout and close the door in his room for five to 10 minutes. And when you're six and seven years old you don't understand time. So this little boy thought I don't know if they're ever coming back. I might die in here.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Now I don't mean to laugh. Kids don't know time. My grandson is four, so he's learning days, what he thinks. So he'll be like Mimi, pappy, I'm coming to your house in four days and I'm staying for three days. They'll call the next day I'm coming in three days, he can. I'm like does he understand what a day is? But when he gets there he's like I'm staying for 10 days and then like, yes, all days later that's not 10, and so he's trying to learn time. But he's just so cute right now because everything has to have a time on it when you're going to meet, when you're going to eat, when you're going to do it, he has everything has to have a time for him. And it's so cute because I never met like a little kid like that who's like so focused on time.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

But you're right, kids don't know time out. You put them in and time out they I mean when they, especially when they're little 10 minutes can seem like it's the next day.

Brad Chandler:

Yeah, on Bill, I've seen you guys interact and you look like you have a lot of love. But I'm here to tell you, as good as your relationship is, the problem with relationships is never the actual relationship. It's always the relationship each person has with themselves. So you've already told me some trauma that you had. You got hit. You've told me that he had trauma. So if you guys haven't fully processed this, if you were to say, hey, I'm going to fully process this stuff, you guys have a good relationship or great, that will go to a whole nother level, because you can open up and be vulnerable and share stuff that you may still, to this day, not feel completely comfortable, based on your beliefs from your childhood.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Yeah, no, yeah, we actually should do that. After that whole last couple of years with the stem cell transplant, we had a lot of days just the two of us living in this special housing and we had a lot of time just to talk about everything. I think I learned more about him in that year than I have in the whole 22 years that we were married, living in like this special housing, and we had a lot of time just to talk about everything. I think I learned more about him in that year than I have in the whole 22 years that we were married, because we had nothing but time.

Brad Chandler:

Wow.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

What a blessing.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

You know what we tell people. I know it sounds so weird, because you know he had a stem cell bone marrow transplant because he had a really rare blood cancer. There's no cure. So it's like, well, you can take these pills and you know, maybe you like will live two to three years because basically your body, makes these giant red blood cells like, and they get bigger and bigger and bigger and then they can't pass through your arteries and then the bone marrow can't absorb them. So you die or you're gonna have this super risky, crazy bone marrow transplant and we'll take you to death's door. We'll give you a five million new stem cells and you know you go for it and we always tell people instead of. As weird as it sounds, that was the best year of our marriage because it was just us.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

You know it was so good and so we were reading. Well, I, he, he didn't read much. I was always reading to him or we were talking and we were praying or reading the Bible, but with no, just us. All the time. We talked more than we have talked the whole marriage. It was really interesting and everyone's like, oh my God, how could that be a good year? That was awful what you guys went through. I said no, we made the decision to make it fun and make it interesting and we educated ourselves and we talked about things and we read and we did Bible studies and we did this stuff and we tell everyone like I know it's hard to believe, but that's the best year we ever had.

Brad Chandler:

So I said what a blessing earlier and I live my life that everything happens for me, and I live my life that everything happens for me. And that's what happened. There's a reason for everything. Right In my hands I'm holding two books, one called the Way of Miracles and one called the Myth of Normal. These are two really, really smart people that have collectively helped tens of thousands of people over the last 40 years. These two books, the basis of these books, are that unprocessed childhood trauma causes health health, every, pretty much every health thing on the planet. So if you don't deal with your S, H I T, nature deals with it, because the stress eventually forces you to deal with it. So I know it strikes a chord with someone that cause these guys believe that that it's called the way of miracles and it's also a documentary on Gaia.

Brad Chandler:

It's phenomenal. And then and then the myth of normal by Dr Gabor Mate is if you have stress in your life, stress is a major, major cause of cancer and MS and depression, anxiety, pretty much everything. So this guy says, like I said, you either fix your stuff, or nature fixes it through death, or they fix it through illness. So a lot of people, just like you are, have looked at this as a blessing. I got to spend this time with my husband. We are now closer than ever before. Other people see it that this was caused by my stress. So now I'm going to go back and do the work to change my life. It's just, life is just so beautiful.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Now it really is. I mean everyone, even his sister and brother, all like this was the worst year ever. Worrying about Bill and I was like we loved it, we had fun. You know, I think part of it too, brad, is like nobody. We lived in a special place. Nobody came over, nobody was in, bill was tired, didn't want to talk a lot, so it was just always us and we had so much like uninterrupted time and in our daily just you know ebbs and flows of life we don't have that much, just completely uninterrupted time all the time. And this is I mean this whole process is long. It's like coming up next week is just two years and so you know at the end of a year you're sort of set free a little bit and you know then two years and you know, and then after that you're like go live and be happy and we really just made really good use of our time and we really loved it.

Brad Chandler:

Good for you.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Everybody's like I can't believe you love that. I said well, obviously I was worried about him. I mean, I don't want the man to die. I'm his full time caretaker. You know it's like I don't want that on me and I don't want him to die. You know I want him to live, but I don't know.

Brad Chandler:

You made the best of a of a situation that could have been really bad. And you you shared with me a couple of days ago on the phone that you actually quit some organization because all they wanted to talk about was disease and negativity. And you're like, no, we're not going to talk about the what could bad happen, we're going to talk about getting right. And I believe that's why he's alive and why you guys are thriving.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I do. I'm telling you that, that Facebook group. After the first 10 posts I read I was like dang, all everyone talks about is how bad they feel. How many times they threw up like da, da, da, just all these things, bad things, there's all this stuff. And I was like holy cow. I said I don't know if we can do this or not. They were like you know what? We're getting rid of that. No, no negative words, we're reading nothing negative. I don't even think we watched the news. I told the kids like listen, if the world's you know is getting ready to blow up, text me.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Staying off the news nothing.

Brad Chandler:

Have you stayed off the news since then?

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Mostly.

Brad Chandler:

I the news since then. Mostly, I watch a little bit every day just to make sure that we're not getting Stop doing it, because there's nothing you can do. One of the greatest things I've done for my happiness other than doing the work is I used to be a news buff. I watched the news before I went to work in the morning. I'd watch 10 o'clock news. It is so, so, so detrimental for you. They've actually done studies that show that people that watch the news have a higher likelihood of anxiety and depression, because all it is is negative, negative, negative. And you know what? I don't know what the hell's going on in the world and there's nothing I can do about it. So why do I need to know about mass shootings? And it doesn't affect me and therefore I'm going to live in my happy bubble and forget the news. Let, let, let. And therefore I'm going to live in my happy bubble and forget the news.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Let the news be the news. Now I have to agree I don't ever watch any in the morning. Bill always likes to watch a little bit. He's a Fox News guy. I know I want to watch it. I'm just like, oh please, but I don't like them. Like dude, just anything. Put on a Hallmark movie, let's just talk. Put on some music, like anything. I don't like to watch the news. But we started watching more movies, listening to more music, and now it's like we listen to music all the time. We're dancing in the house in the middle of the day. It's like this is so much better.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I honestly don't think all that wouldn't happen had he not had that illness like that. It was crazy. That illness like that is crazy.

Brad Chandler:

There you go. Everything happens for you not to you.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

You got to help me come up with a new slogan. I told you. I said Bill and I are like we're 65, we're still alive, like woo. We got to come up, but like to us it's funny. And it's not funny funny, but more like an inside joke, because from February till March is the only time of the year that we're the same age. And then you know he's a year older and so I had my birthday. He's like oh, we're 65. We're still alive. And I said that is true, and it's the last couple of years have really been some, but we got to come up with something a little catchier. So other people don't like think like you're still alive. What do you mean? You're fine.

Brad Chandler:

Yeah.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I'm like 65, ready to thrive.

Brad Chandler:

There you go. Much much better.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I have a slogan I do every year. I don't know, it's a weird thing, I've always done. I have a slogan for every year.

Brad Chandler:

Oh, that's awesome.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

When I turned 60, I was like 60, sexy and sassy. So just every year I have it and that's kind of like my, my mental mantra to myself. So I think we'll do like 65 and ready to thrive. It's got to match. I got to come up with something that rhymes, I don't know. So it's just a weird thing I always do 65 and ready to thrive.

Brad Chandler:

I mean, that's awesome 65, ready to thrive.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

So, yeah, and I remember when 63 was, all this happened. I was like 63 and feeling free. And then, even though we weren't free, we're like no, you know what, we're free to live and do this the way we want to do it. So technically, we're free.

Brad Chandler:

So 65 and we thrive and we thrive.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

There you go 65 and we thrive yeah. So I always got to have like a little beat. I don't know it's a weird thing, I do, bill and I both do it, so that's funny. So if people are cause I know you've been in real estate and stuff as well, so people that are, and you said that you made some how many mistakes that cost you like $9 million.

Brad Chandler:

Five mistakes. Yeah, no, we still. We're going to flip, hopefully close to 300 houses this year.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Wow, 300. Good for you, 300. That's no joke.

Brad Chandler:

That's our goal. We did 223 last year, 253 the year before and we're heading to 300 this year.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Nice. So do you have a company that wholesales houses?

Brad Chandler:

Wholesales and fix and flips Yep Across the country. So we do do it across the country. I're. I'd say 90% of 95% of the deals are in DC, Maryland, Virginia. And then we started to do some in Southern California and then sporadically, like we've, you know, we've got a house under contract in Florida and we'll do one in Illinois, or just, just, you know, sporadically.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

So do you feel like, um, obviously your success is due to the fact that you know you're so smart and so cute and adorable Like how could you not be successful? But you've also worked through a lot of things. Do you feel like a lot of people that are in business or have the big mistakes? Do you feel like that is stuff that goes all the way back to childhood?

Brad Chandler:

I have a theory. This is interesting. I get a lot of theories. I have a theory. This is interesting. I got a lot of theories. Trauma affects people radically different. The same type of trauma can affect people radically different.

Brad Chandler:

So I believe that top athletes if you look at Tom Brady and Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods the reason they got to be so good is because they felt so bad about themselves and they had to prove something. So there's that angle. And then there's the angle of, yes, I've got to prove something, like myself, but I'm also so reckless because I needed so bad to prove something that I made mistakes. And then you have the third theory where, if you look at the IQs of like a middle level manager, at like a Walmart, compared to a fortune 500 CEO, they're not that different. So those and I'm not, I'm not like putting down Walmart and just using like a just take a blue collar job. Right, the person working a blue collar job is really not that less intelligent than than uh, if you look at it on a scale. So why is it they don't make a lot of money? Because their limiting belief was I don't deserve it Me or the Fortune 500 CEO was I have no alternative. I've got to make a bunch of money to prove my worth or I'm going to die. So it just affects. But to answer your question, yes, I think entrepreneurs, a lot of entrepreneurs, get in business because they think if I can make $5 million I'll be happy and worthy. And I'm here to tell you it'll never be that way, because look at Matthew Perry and Michael Jackson and all those princes of the world. The trick is I can teach you how today to get the state that you're, after 10 years down the road with $10 million. And then, when you get that state today, you are far more likely to make the $10 million because you're doing it for the reasons of making an impact and doing something you love rather than like me.

Brad Chandler:

With real estate, I never care. I thought I liked real estate. I don't care about real estate. I was put on this planet to help people stop their suffering and thrive and become free, right? So because of that now I have an insatiable appetite and all I'm going to do for, hopefully, the next 60 years of my life is become better and better at what I do. I love it and, by the way, the money is going to come. I'll probably make more money in this business than I did in real estate, but it was the first business in my life that I started where I never thought about money. All I thought about was how many people can I help, how many lives can I change, because I no longer had to prove anything to anybody.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Yeah, that's one of the reasons I started teaching when I did, because I was here in Florida, actually in Palm Beach County, and I did those first couple of houses. On the first couple of houses, you know, I was going through a divorce, I got a kid. I'm just like I need to make some money, I want to work for myself. So after I did a few, I started to realize that I can only help one single person at a time. But if I taught a few people how to do it and I do 10 deals and they do 10, and they do 10, and they do 10, we could help more people.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

So really, and I really, when I first started teaching, I didn't really know enough to teach. I knew enough to talk to you about wholesaling and how to fix up a house and that's all I knew. But I taught that and I was like, hey, listen, there's thousands and thousands of people and I know how they felt because that happened to me when I went through my divorce Lost my house, my car, like you know all the stuff that I got the baby and you know, that's really all that matters. And so that was kind of my initial reason for wanting to teach. I was like well, if I can teach other people how to do what I'm doing, we can help more people. That's why I always say our motto is people before profits. If you just help people, the money comes.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

If the people that focus on the money are just so money hungry.

Brad Chandler:

I feel like those are the most unhappy people. But it's really, really hard to focus on people when your brain's telling you you're no good and you believe that money is your way out. For me, I believe at 10 years old, when my dad stopped paying when he moved out, my mom said at one point in time we may lose this house and we may have to move into public housing. Well, she was a nurse and she had taken me to this public housing and I just knew there was shootings there. So I think my 10 year old brain said oh my God, if you run out of money knew there was shootings there. So I think my 10 year old brain said, oh my God, if you run out of money, you die. And so I thought, oh my gosh, I've always got to have money and it was. I was in a CEO organization about 15 years ago and someone was like what is? Do you think that's why you bought so many houses? And I was like, oh my gosh, I never thought. My subconscious mind probably said you almost died because you lost your house, so you better go buy a bunch of houses and at any given time I had I don't have. We've divested of all of them. Now we probably own just the houses we're fixing and flipping, but at one point in time we had over 100 houses. It was probably my brain trying to protect me.

Brad Chandler:

This is what here's the crux of everything in everyone's life. Whatever symptom that you're dealing with whether you have a shitty marriage, or you eat too much, you drink too much, you have anxiety, depression those are all actually solutions to your problem. Because you think that there's something that's worse, that you're trying to avoid, that you don't want to face. So you do the thing. So, once you find out that this thing that you think is worse, so why does someone drink day after day after day, when they know it's destroying their body? Because they're trying not to face this thing over here that they think is worse, Once we do the work and you figure out this thing, not only is it not worse, but it was made up when you were a child to protect yourself.

Brad Chandler:

When that goes away, then guess what? The drinking goes away. So that's the magic formula. So everyone who's suffering right now that's listening to this thinking I eat too much, I drink too much, this anxiety, this depression, you don't have a disorder. Your brain is doing exactly what it thinks it should be doing, because it's taking you from pain to pleasure. It thinks there's something actually worse, but that thing isn't really worse. And when you figure that out, your brain automatically says wait, I can't hold two conflicting thoughts. This doesn't make sense. Oh my gosh, I've been living this way all these years, the wrong way. This isn't me.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Now it's brilliant. I'm so excited for when this podcast comes out. I'm to tell everyone like listen, y'all got to listen to brad. There's just so many people I just so many people I know that have all those issues and I know it's because people just don't want to. And it is true. I think one of the reasons I made so much money right away is I've been fired from denny's. My husband left, I lost my house on my car and I had the and I was like I don't want that to happen again, so I better make a bunch of money over here to make sure I'm safe. And I think, now that we're talking, I think subconsciously, my fear of all that happening again is what made me go crazy on this side of the fence.

Brad Chandler:

Yeah, our fears drive everything and the people that it's not. Fears drive everything and the people that it's not. So some people are scared to face their issues, which they shouldn't be, because it's not. It's not a hard process, as you think. Other people have tried certain things, but they've gone to traditional therapy and traditional therapy. God love them. They try their best and some of them are phenomenal and some of them get success. But what they do is they focus on the symptoms in the conscious mind. The thought that you're trying to avoid is hidden. It's buried in your subconscious mind and the magic is you got to get to your subconscious mind. So I use hypnosis, which is nothing more than a deep, relaxed state, to ask your brain, because your subconscious brain knows the source of your problems. So we just ask it what's the cause of this depression? And we go back to that place. So whatever you're dealing with, it's not your fault and there is a better way. That doesn't take, like you know, 20 years or 30 years in my case of therapy.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I know. I know I always encourage people like just dig in, find out. I mean, I'm sure I've got you and I should do some sessions together. I feel like you could really help me uncover. I feel like I've uncovered unearthed most of my stuff, but you never know yeah, it hides it, we're always growing, you know, always growing, always changing.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

There's always things happening, there's always new things coming on. So let's, uh, we're gonna skip topics up for a minute. We're gonna jump complete topics for a minute. We're going to jump complete topics. Tell me your favorite band of all time.

Brad Chandler:

Oh wow. I mean, I could sit here for five minutes, but I think, if I had to listen, probably George Strait.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

George Strait King George.

Brad Chandler:

I saw him in concert a couple of months ago with Chris Stapleton at the Tampa Bay Arena. It was pretty epic.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I love George Strait he has. What does he have like 55 number one hits or something.

Brad Chandler:

A lot.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Every song, every album he puts out, it's just number one. The day it comes out, he's special. That's Bill's favorite country person is George Strait. He is good, he's amazing, you know. You maybe did not know taylor swift used to open for him oh wow, no, I didn't she used to open for george straight.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

So I saw an interview one time, him and her and uh, something we just watched a few weeks ago where they were doing some kind of a tribute and she sang one of his songs and I was like, wow, table, so she's open for george straight. Imagine she was so nervous meeting George Strait and now he's probably like dang girl, you went and dominated the whole world, I like country. You know who I just discovered is Jelly Roll.

Brad Chandler:

Oh, I love them too. Yeah, that deep, raspy voice, I love it.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I'm like so in love with him right now. I listen to that music all the time. I just literally just discovered it. We have tickets to a thing he's doing in our little town in Iowa this summer and of course you know, being part of the downtown, I've got some VIP tickets and people are like you want to get rid of your tickets. I was like hell. No, I'm going to go meet Jelly.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Roll meet jelly roll man nice, and it's like it's not really kind of music. Well, I am more like of a blues girl, but that's like my favorite person right now. What's?

Brad Chandler:

your favorite food uh, probably filet mignon ah, there you go.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I love it, but what's your favorite time of the day, like out of the whole day, from waking up to going to sleep? Do you have a piece of time that's like your favorite part of your day?

Brad Chandler:

You know I just love crawling in the bed at night and reading a book on, again, the science of the brain, trauma psychology. Just freaking love it. I got a therapeutic, uh, tempur-pedic bed recently and it adjust and put it in zero gravity. Um, I, I look, I, I, I just cherish every part of the day, but that, if you, if you pin me down, um, yeah, I'm going to go with that. That's my final answer.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Final answer. You know it's funny cause I ask everybody that well, not everyone. Since I started, I try to switch up my questions every few months, but since I started asking people that I am a night person too, bill and I really look forward to going to bed. Like we get in the bed together and we're just like it's quiet, we talk, and 90% of people are like oh, I get up at four o'clock in the morning. I love the morning and I'm just like Kelly, I love the end. I like the nighttime. I like getting into bed. I put on my heated blanket, I adjust the head and the feet, I get all snuggled in. It's like this is the best part of the whole day. So there's not very many of us that say that. Most everyone's like oh, I like that. 5 to 6 am it's like, dude, I am sleeping.

Brad Chandler:

Yeah, snuggle time is great.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

That is not for me. I like that. So now, what is your biggest goal that you're working on right now, and how can we add to wonderful? How can we help you?

Brad Chandler:

So I turned 50 last year and I'm manifesting that I'm going to live to be 110. And my goal is to help a million people get the gift that I was given, and that's to find freedom and happiness by reconnecting with themselves and getting rid of these limiting beliefs that are buried in their subconscious mind.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Okay. So, folks, we have to help this man reach his goal Turn 50. You look fantastic for 50, by the way, I'm sure you know that, and you all live to be 110. I'm like, I'm all for living to be 110 as long as I'm healthy, and we want to help 1 million people. So, everyone at Dwanderful, we put things to prayer, we help you reach your goal, and I would love to be a tiny little piece of helping you reach that goal and that, by the way, is a beautiful goal.

Brad Chandler:

Thank you. Yeah, I just I came back from this transformation. I looked around. I saw the people suffering. I was like, oh my gosh, they're suffering for the same reason I was, and now I know how I can help them. And I got to do it and that's all I've been doing for the last three years is helping people.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I love it. I love it. I think that is a beautiful goal, and I'm all about trying to help you out.

Brad Chandler:

So again, people find you at bradchandler. com forward slash, contact Yep and check out my podcast how to Be Happier for Entrepreneurs. If you love this type of stuff, you're going to love the podcast.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

How to Be Happy for Entrepreneurs, and I am so excited I get to be a guest on that show. Yes, you're definitely going to want to watch it, for no other reason because I'm on there.

Brad Chandler:

Yes.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

And we'll have fun over there too. All right. Last thing is, I want you to give us a parting word of wisdom, but just one word.

Brad Chandler:

Love.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Okay, so all my Dwanderful people know that, whatever the word is that you give us, that is, our word of the week is love. But what does it mean to you?

Brad Chandler:

Well, I don't know if your hyphenated word counts. I really wanted to say self-love, that's what it means the quicker that you can understand that you have all the happiness you ever needed to have inside you and that there's nothing wrong with you, that you are always enough. You always will be enough. When you can have that self-love, your relationships, your health, your finances, everything will change.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Okay, I love it. So we'll take self-love, we'll count the hyphen and we'll make it one word Love it.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Because people always want to give me this line no, no, no, no, no. We just want a word. We want a word that we can all pray and meditate on this week. So self-love, and I love what you say about that and I could not agree with you more. I could not agree more. So first, I want to thank you so much for being on the show today. It's been so much fun talking and just reconnecting with you and I'm really looking forward to this episode coming out. Everyone's going to love it, and all of you.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

If you had fun today, if you laughed, if you learned anything, I always ask you to do me a favor and I want you to subscribe. I want you to leave me a five-star review, I want you to write something nice and follow me on all my socials, and if you would like to watch this video when it comes out, it will be on my YouTube channel. It's in the show notes, but it's wonderful real estate. So some of you like to listen when you're running and doing things. Some people like to sit down and watch. I mean, brad, look how cute we are. How could they not want to watch?

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

us, I know, you got to watch it over at my YouTube channel and this is one you're going to want to watch. You're definitely going to want to watch. You're definitely going to want to watch this. So thank you again, everyone. Have a great week. We'll be back next week. Same bat time, same bat channel. And remember that the truth is in the red letter. All right, thank you, brad. Thank you. Ciao.