The Most Dwanderful Real Estate Podcast Ever!

Finding Purpose in Change: A Conversation About Work, Family, and Celebrating Lost Loved Ones

• Dwan Bent-Twyford • Season 7 • Episode 397

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Hitting one million downloads calls for a celebration and a reunion! In this episode, I reconnect with Olivia, whose life has transformed dramatically since we last spoke in 2021. From welcoming her first child to now expecting her second while managing a record-breaking Bahama Breeze restaurant, Olivia's journey exemplifies embracing life's constant changes.

Our conversation dives deep into the realities of modern leadership. Olivia shares how she manages a team of over 100 employees while maintaining exceptional retention rates in an industry known for high turnover. Her approach—focusing on accountability, developing emotional intelligence, and creating a workplace where people genuinely want to be—offers valuable insights for anyone in a leadership position. When she admits that her anxiety manifests as irritation with "rookie mistakes," it's a refreshingly honest look at the challenges leaders face daily.

We explore Olivia's budding real estate investment journey, starting with a rental property in Illinois that they're holding onto despite relocating to North Carolina. Her practical approach to building wealth while balancing career advancement demonstrates how real estate can fit into diverse life plans. The conversation takes a touching turn when we discuss celebrating the lives of departed loved ones, sharing personal stories about preparation, grief, and finding joy in remembrance.

The episode wraps with Olivia's simple yet powerful wisdom: "Be open to change, because change is something that is constant." Her parting advice to "find things you don't like, close that door; find something you like, open that door" might be the perfect mantra for navigating life's unpredictable journey. Ready to embrace change in your own life? Listen now for a conversation that will inspire you to see transitions as opportunities rather than obstacles.

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Make it a Dwanderful Day!

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Hey everyone, welcome to the most Dwanderful real estate podcast ever. I have such exciting news we finally reached 1 million downloads. So thank you, thank you, thank you. I could not be at a million downloads without all of you, and so let's see how fast we can get to 2 million. So, this podcast I'm having a guest back on that I had interviewed before and I absolutely love this woman. I love her, I watch all her stuff, and so I thought I would take a few of the next seven or eight podcasts. I'm going to have some people back that were on a couple years ago so we can see what people are doing and what's new, what's exciting, and catch up. And also, if you would like to have your next three real estate deals guaranteed to close, go to dwanderful. com D-W-A-N-D-E-R-F-U-L dwanderful. com and take my quiz. I have a quiz and it'll show you how to get some deals closed. So, and also, this is the most wonderful real estate podcast ever, I'm your host, Dwan Bent- Twyford. Okay, miss Olivia, I'm so happy to see you.

Olivia Cook:

I'm so honored to be here. I love, I love spending time with you.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I know Well, I gosh. We probably interviewed, I don't know, three years. Yeah, I don't think you had a baby yet. How old is Solomon?

Olivia Cook:

I didn't have a baby yet it was definitely like 2021.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Yeah, I didn't think so. And then you know, you guys, you and Jamie were doing the Relentless Glory and I followed all that. I love all the teaching and all the Bible and just all the good stuff. I should have actually worn my t-shirt today, because I still have my. It's one of my favorite t-shirts because it's so extra super soft. Should have wore it today, but I'm trying to. I tried a new hair today, so I'm crimping my hair and trying like a new look. This is the first time. I thought I don't know if I should crimp it and then go right on the podcast in case I don't like it, so I don't have time to fix it now. So this is my new hairstyle today. You are the first one seeing it I love it I do too.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I crimped it with one of those machines that crimps it. You know, I was like, wow, I feel kind of like uh, sort of like back in the hippie days it's.

Olivia Cook:

it's so fitting, Like it's just. I always love how cool your hair is, yeah.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

All right, so let's catch up with you. So we talked last time, you didn't even have a baby. Mm-hmm, how old is that, mr Solomon?

Olivia Cook:

now he is two years old and I love this stage. You know I'm pregnant now with another child. Yes, when is that baby due.

Olivia Cook:

He's due in June. He's actually due on my son's half birthday, so which that's not going to happen, I know, realistically speaking. Like I had, I had Solomon Jr on Christmas day 2022. And I had him at 36 weeks because they induced me super early. I had all these problems and complications and so I just don't think that I'm going to go to full term with this one. I don't have the same types of problems and complications, which, thank God, um cause I had pre-gestational diabetes, I had a preeclampsia. It was just, it was real. It's terrible.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I had a few issues too, and I was just like oof.

Olivia Cook:

What do you?

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

have in the new guy.

Olivia Cook:

Yeah, Owen Tyler. So I want him to have my initials. Since the other one has my husband's name, I want him to have my initials.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

So you know, and I had my daughter. So my first name no one knows this, but my first name is actually Andrea. So it's Andrea Dwan Bent. But my family, everybody in my family, calls every single person by their middle name. So I was called Dwan my whole life. So when I got pregnant I thought you know what? I'm going to give my daughter my initials, because I did the same thing. I thought, well, I don't want to name her like exactly after me and I want to give her my initials. So then I named her Ayla Diamond Bent. So I had Ayla Diamond Bent and Andrea Dwan Bent. I was like, oh cool initials. If she ever wants to be famous, she can be Ayla Diamond. She's already got a built-in stage name.

Olivia Cook:

Sooo funny.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

So I like that giving them your initials, because you know it's like all the guys get all the babies named after them and the juniors and whatever. But what happens? What?

Olivia Cook:

about the moms. It's going to be funny because it'll probably be that Solomon has my personality and Owen Tyler has my husband's personality. That will probably just be our luck.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

That'll be it. So tell me about the Relentless Glory. You guys still doing that and doing the Bible studies.

Olivia Cook:

Just as life has, you know, drifted its ways, it's still there. It's not like we won't participate or accident. It's just at this time in our lives we've we're so busy with what we're doing. Jamie is actually at a coaches summit right now in Vegas speaking, killing it. I'm so proud of her. Her birthday was last month and we caught up and everything. And you know we're constantly, if she's one of my like, sit in the mud friends. We might not talk all the time, but if I need prayer, if she needs prayer, she knows exactly where she can go. I know exactly where I can go. I don't. I'm not one of those people that does surface level relationships. You know I'm not one of those people that does surface level relationships. You know, I'm very big on just being open and honest with each other and that is one thing that I'm so grateful that God gave us in that, you know, being complete strangers offline and being able to build something beautiful together and then just looking back at what we made in the time that we put. You know.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I loved what you guys were doing. It was great.

Olivia Cook:

It's just, you know it's. It's not, it's just a not right now thing that we're focusing on, but it's not like the door is completely shut, you know that's good.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

That's good, that's it. Yeah, I always loved it. You guys just came up with so many great verses and inspirational things and I was always like I just love those two girls. I loved you guys in the spirit together. So then, what are you doing now?

Olivia Cook:

I manage a restaurant um it's Bahama Breeze in fayetteville, north carolina.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

We did it is that the same Bahama Breeze as in Florida?

Olivia Cook:

Yeah, oh my God, yeah, we did a new store open here. We opened last year February and our first full month we did $1.2 million in sales, breaking company records. We started out with 160 team members. So I was before that I was managing a fine dining restaurant GM of either place. But I'm just saying like you're still in charge of these people, their schedules, all the things and you're you know you get built and changed through the process. But I was doing I was basically at like a two to $3 million store before doing fine dining a lot less team members, probably maximum like 25 team members at that restaurant. Before We've got so many more team members, I've got other managers that I can definitely depend on and there's so many systems in place that I'm really being developed. It's a different company. We're owned by Darden. The company I was with before was Landry's.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I know Landry's. My daughter worked for one of the aquariums or something that was part of the Landry's. It was some kind of a aquarium type restaurant oh, oh ocean here I can't even think of the name of it, but it was part of the Landry's thing, so, okay, good, so you're behind the breeze yeah, with Darden.

Olivia Cook:

Which jarden owns um capital. Grill ruth, capitol Grill, ruth, chris, eddie V's, seasons 52, olive Garden, longhorn Steakhouse, yardhouse, cheddar's, bahama Breeze and Chevy's it's a new concept. Yeah.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

So it's a huge concept. It's called D-A-R-D-E-N.

Olivia Cook:

D-A-R-D-E-N, d-a-r-d-e-n, and so it's a huge concept, but I mean the way that they do their leadership has changed me drastically and in a better way. You know, it's very corporate and I'm very much a corporate like restaurant person, because mom and pop places there's some that are phenomenal but there's others that are the wild west and I like and I like learning how to do things prop like profitable. You know, just looking at all the numbers and dealing with people, I would never own a restaurant on my own.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I don't think I ever would either. I've worked in so many of them in my twenties. I think I'd be terrified because they just come and go so often. But then you have, like you said, like the Bahama Breeze and like the Olive Garden, and Chatter Street is what you named. They're just everywhere and they're successful. They don't seem to ever go out of business, but it's so what are you?

Olivia Cook:

learning about leadership, because you're in charge of a lot right now yeah, now we have a lot less team members we've got about 100, but our turnover is actually really good. We have a lot of day one people still with us. A fter a year, which is not common we have all their managers. That's open, the store are still together. That's not common either and I'm very grateful.

Olivia Cook:

But the things that I'm learning most is how important your mindset is with what you're doing and looking at things bigger picture, not focusing so much on that, like of course, there's a diamond place for, like the nitpicky, all the things. But when you're looking at things from the big picture of where do we want to be next year, where do we want to be three years from now? Where do we want to be when my time is up here, what you know and what reputation do we want to build within the community, and just a lot of those things. As well as listening without bias listening for true, like there's true information. Listening for true, like there's true information, yeah, and admitting when you're wrong Like I'm one of those that will absolutely I've always been that way Admit. Okay, I'm wrong about that, I'm sorry. Taking accountability you know, taking accountability is huge and being able to see what you don't do right.

Olivia Cook:

I'm very blessed to have a GM that is one of those iron sharpens iron people. He wants us to be better and I realized recently most people don't like surrounding themselves around people that make them better Like most normal people, because it's uncomfortable for one to realize when you're wrong and two, so many people are stuck in their ways and they're good with what they want to do and that's all well and fine, but you don't get growth from that no, there are so many and I I swear I think it's like older people especially like like well, so I'm a boomer Bill and I are open to like everything in the world, but I see people like getting up around their 70s, 80s, whatever.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

They're so like set and they're not going to change, no matter what. They won't change for anything. Just even young people, some of the millennials and stuff in my life they're just like also set in their ways already. It's like y'all are in your 30s. You got a long way to go. Like you need to be able to like roll with the flow a little bit better here, because everyone is just like that. So I like that you have someone that does that, because the best way you can learn is to have someone that will help you and show you better and not make you like feel bad about it.

Olivia Cook:

You like feel bad about it.

Olivia Cook:

Mm-hmm Done to think I absolutely agree with that, and it was. It was hard in the beginning, but I'm now. I embrace the hard, I embrace the suck, I push into the pressure. It's easy to say those things before when you're when you're not sure what the pressure is. But with this, this opportunity, I've gotten really good at calling the M EMS. I'm the perfect person in crisis management situations like the crazy things that happen, I realized, where I learned so much more about where my anxiety really is. My anxiety comes in, Like when I get very anxious. It comes in the areas of annoyance. I get very agitated. That's how it shows up for me and it's the little things that are like little paper. You know death by a thousand paper cuts, that is me. Know death by a thousand paper cuts, that is me I am. If we're busy and people are not working at a specific level and they're just making rookie mistakes, if they're not rookies, I want to call them out for it.

Olivia Cook:

I'm like okay, all right, stop with the rookie mistakes, you know better. And I just keep it moving and I try to treat people as fairly as possible. But even people don't realize, like I've had new team members tell me, oh, you're stressed, but I don't ever take it out on them, I'm like it's not. The stress is not that I'm annoyed, I'm more annoyed than anything. So when things aren't done properly because I'm like a perfectionist, you know, and I, I have high expectations and it's making me realize that I have to not settle for less, but I have to handle how things don't. When don't they don't go the way that I want them to, I have to handle that better. Yeah, I've been working on that, especially, you know, being like I'll be 30 weeks pregnant tomorrow.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Oh, I love being pregnant. It was great, but I was like I'm a one and done kind of girl.

Olivia Cook:

I hate it. I think the third trimester is so ghetto. I would not, you know, suggest it Now, do I believe that it's an absolute blessing? Yes, I'm grateful that I can have children. I'm so grateful for that. But, at the same time, two things can be true at the same time, and they can be completely different.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I've had those days too. I had some gestational diabetes and some of those issues too. It's like, oh my gosh, I just only have this baby. Like how hard can this be? People have been doing it for millions of years, right. So now, in your new role, like you're a leader, you are the boss of people. You organize people. What kind of skills do you want to teach them or impart upon them to? You know to be the best they can be, because it's not everybody can be a boss, so there's a lot of bosses that are just really shitty at it. Just they're terrible. I've had some terrible bosses that don't know how to talk or help you or without putting you down or something. And I think it takes a real skill to be a leader, because it's definitely not for everyone, but there's a lot of people in leadership positions that shouldn't be.

Olivia Cook:

When it comes to my team members, it depends on what their goals are. You know, I get to know I have a personal relationship with each and every team member. A personal relationship with each and every team member. And so some people, if I see them doing the wrong thing in their life, um, and they're asking for advice, I don't give unwarranted advice, but if they're asking for things, or if they do blow up and have situations where they're they, they could lose their, their jobs, Um, I do definitely talk to them about, you know, not caring so much about other people's opinions. What other people say about them. That's a common issue because, like in my industry, I'm working with the general public. I serve the general public and we hire the general public. Nobody has to have a degree to work in food and bar. Okay, You're working with the majority types of people, so you're going to deal with those majority types of problems. Somebody sleeping with this person. They found out and they're upset about it. Somebody is, you know, very much problems.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I'm just laughing. I managed a couple of places in my twenties and it's like the draw. I always call it an adult daycare center. There's so much and like especially when you said slip, I had 23 employees at one time and then this girl's married, this guy's married. Next thing you know, I don't even know they're sleeping together. Next thing you know they both quit. Their spouses are like I was just like they're sleeping together. Next thing you know they both quit. Their spouses are like I was just like what is happening right now? You guys are like grown-ass people. They were in their 40s. I didn't know they were in their 20s and I didn't know any better.

Olivia Cook:

I don't understand what's going on here right now. No-transcript their emotional intelligence. I'm really trying to help them develop their emotional intelligence when they are mad, when they are triggered. That is a lot of the conversations I have with my team members, you know, not allowing for, like, realizing that they're able to change how they argue. And I go back to a lot of relationships, for instance, like significant others, if they started out as high school sweethearts, they still fight like they're in high school A lot of times because they don't choose to fight better, like it's a common thing, though I know, I know, I know it's so hard to change you as a person from where you are when you are mad, hangry and you are really like a loose cannon and having them see, you know what I do have the ability to stop myself no longer giving up their personal power.

Olivia Cook:

That's a constant thing. You know, thinking through what they're doing before they go off the handle over very minuscule things. Somebody disrespected you, okay, like you allow, you have to allow for them to affect you. You have to allow for them. You have to give them so much more weight.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Yes.

Olivia Cook:

To actually make a difference, you know.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I'm telling you, we and you know, I think I when I talked to you last there's something about all those buildings that we bought in Iowa, so one of them is a coffee shop. Now, I have never really owned like retail stores before. I've worked in them. So now I find myself I own Antique Mall, I've got a clothing boutique and I've got a coffee shop, like a coffee energy drink kind of place. Now, the people that work at the Antique Mall, they tend to be older, they're just like you know, and the people at the boutique, you know a little bit older.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

But the girls that all work at the coffee shop, young, fighting, texting when they want the day off, or if you don't give them a day off, they just text you I quit. And it's like, are you freaking, kidding me? Who just sends a text message and quits, Especially when they've been somewhere for a length of time. It's like what is up with, like the people today and the work ethic and what is wrong. It's like what is wrong with all these young people, you know, and you have to have that in a restaurant like you're at Work ethic, the 20 somethings Like where'd that go?

Olivia Cook:

Um, we Like what happened? Where'd that go? We I have my GM is 50 and all of the managers are very hands-on. We all work very hard hours. Starting out was not easy. There was, you know, we're a brand new restaurant doing 250K a week seeing about 7,000 people, because the price per person is about $34 per person. So we're seeing a lot of people and that's a lot of mistakes, a lot of mistakes, and I got really good at getting yelled at.

Olivia Cook:

But one thing that I don't tolerate is people that don't work. Um, I, we, we definitely um call them out for that. They don't do well, um, not doing what's required of them, because the most important thing is taking care of the guest. That is why we're all there, and if you're not doing that, then you're not. You're not doing your job, um, and we just I don't think that I've ever, ever. I thought I had a great work ethic before because I had a lot of jobs, but then I worked for my GM and I'm like 13-14 hour days, I know all the time I'm like, oh, okay, and it's not just working that length of time, you have to be on that entire time around.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

you're in the public.

Olivia Cook:

Yes, yes, so my work ethic got developed. I don't think that you can be in their environment and succeed in our environment and not have a good work ethic, because that's just not something we tolerate.

Olivia Cook:

I believe that leadership trickles down, you know, and if they see us working and putting in everything, that it kind of rubs off on them. Now there are always those people that are just going to be lazy and you just got to call them out and the micromanaging is annoying. It's very annoying, but you know you just have to do it If what you tolerate when it's in your eyes is so much like it allows for so much more stuff to happen when you're not around.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Yeah, now I know I just with these, with these girls, I'm like I don't understand. Like everyone like, especially like in my generation and even like gen x, like just really good hardcore work ethics, you know, millennials even. But then it's like now, all of a sudden, all these people that they, they just want to. You know, they worry about their time off, what are they gonna do? And they have to have this work balance and more fun than work and no one takes anything seriously anymore. It's like, oh my God, I feel like I need to hire everybody over 50. I mean, I think, and get people that will show up. I told Bill, I said, oh Lord, have these girls, I'm going to kill some of these girls.

Olivia Cook:

It is definitely difficult. It is it is definitely difficult, um, I think, for we make our place such a fun place to work. We have team members that want to come to work. There's no reason why, um, we would have the. The turnover that we have is like we we have so many day one-ers, we've got really good turnover. For a restaurant industry that's not very common. It's because they know that we genuinely care about them and we care about their development, and it's really in the hiring process too.

Olivia Cook:

You know hiring people. I learned so much about hiring and interviewing people from this company because you know who you hire dictates so much and making sure you put that investment in them and they get the proper training, and being so upfront with them and be like, yeah, we do a lot of work here, but we have fun here too. We actually did a year anniversary picnic.

Olivia Cook:

Oh fun and we invited family and friends and we had so many people show up, we had team members. Like one of my team members' kids was like are y'all?

Olivia Cook:

going to have a second year anniversary party, like yeah, like we're ready for the next party, like that was so much fun and I mean there was no alcohol there. There were no. You know it was. We played kickball, we had food, we had games, we had all these things for them to participate in and have a good time. I was the DJ. Oh, listen to you. Yeah, I was the DJ because I was not about to play kickball and be pregnant falling down. I wasn't doing that.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

No, no, no. So you know, one of the things I like to ask my guests now is what is your favorite band?

Olivia Cook:

of all time. Okay, it really depends on the genre. Pick one. I really like band, I love the Fray, but I also love Fleetwood Mac. Oh, you do so. Like Stevie Nicks, she has such a distinct, versatile voice.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

She's great.

Olivia Cook:

She's great.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I started in the last year asking my guests like what's your favorite uh band of all time and like what's your favorite food? Like you know, because people like to work with people that they they get to know and you just tell so much about people by the music that they listen to like I love all types of stuff.

Olivia Cook:

Now, rapper it's kind of hard, like I. I listen. It's so random. I'm like I listen to country hardcore rap music like street music, ghetto music, old school music, but I like alternative, like I definitely love, like Fleetwood Mac, oh yeah, all of that type of stuff. So it's like I'm very broad when it comes to I am too.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I mean, I listen. Honestly, people would never know. I listen to Bluegrass sometimes because I grew up with it with my grandparents. It's like oh man, I love that song. And sometimes I listen to like old country gospel and it's like oh. And my husband's like how do you know the words of all these songs? I'm like my parents, my parents, grandparents are in Tennessee and I never missed church my whole entire life. So all the songs and I like the hip-hop stuff and I like the rock bands, so I and Country and we saw Lady Gaga recently.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I really think music is important and the more broader. I just feel like I don't know. I feel like music is kind of like an international language, like everyone likes music, you know, and songs mean things and as you get older, you hear a song like that remind you of something like while you were pregnant or when you were dating. Like we don't have all these songs and we made a whole playlist of all the songs that were popular when we were dating, because we're like, oh, that's when we were going out and dating, like I love that song. I think music's important. I love it when I was like I don't know, 18 maybe.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Uh, I was raised in ohio and so the cincinnati reds uh stadium I don't even know what it's called anymore, but but the baseball stadium they would have these really giant concerts, but they were all day and with like four bands. So you had like this band that was like coming up, and then this one, and then the main band at the end of the night was like you know whoever it came for. So I went to my first outdoor in a stadium concert and the main main band was Fleetwood Mac. And now I I knew who they were, I knew all their songs and I went because I loved Fleetwood Mac. And then, looking back, the opening band was Eddie Money and the Cars and at the time they weren't like really famous yet. So I was like I only know one of their songs which I agreed to love later.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

But I'm telling you, the night of fall comes. I mean everyone's, you know it's 70. So we're, all you know, smoking and partying, and Fleetwood Mac and I tell you Stevie Nicks sits up on that speaker and all that black flowing and her hair is blowing and I was like, oh my God, she's like a goddess. She was so amazing and it just I swear it's like it was like an like amoving type of a concert. Just, I don't know something about her and her vibe and the hair and the fans on her all the time and the hat and you're just looking at her like no one's ever seen anybody like this woman.

Olivia Cook:

And her music transcends time.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

It does. She's amazing. So now you were telling me that you guys have bought a couple rentals.

Olivia Cook:

Well, okay, we have our house that we owned in Illinois, so we're renting it out. Now we're starting this journey. That was the whole goal, but I definitely, in the future, want to purchase a few more properties that we rent out. Hold on to them. It would be lovely if interest rates would go down. We have our interest rate for our house in Illinois at like 3.5 or something.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Hang on to that for the rest of your life. Do you still live in Illinois?

Olivia Cook:

No, I live in North Carolina.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

You live in North Carolina. I did not know you moved there.

Olivia Cook:

I moved in North Carolina. I did not know you lived there, yeah, so I moved to North Carolina.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

For the work or with your husband.

Olivia Cook:

Well with my husband because he got stationed here. That's right. It was crazy. It's actually so funny. I was looking for a job because my last day at Morton's the steakhouse was October 27th. This was in. We moved in 2023. We were officially here December 2023. So, yeah, my last day there was October 27th, but I had gotten an email from the company I work for now saying all the positions are filled up. From the company I work for now saying all the positions are filled up. We've we finished hiring our managers for Fayetteville, but we're interested in you for, like all these other places, we can pay to get you out, to release and I'm like I own my home, my home here. I have to be in Fayetteville, unfortunately, like that. That really sucks. If you could pass me on to some of your other sister companies that are in the area.

Olivia Cook:

And then I had an interview for a radio station and an interview for Bonefish Grill and I asked God. I said God, what decision should I make? And an hour after I asked him, michelle from Bahama Breeze, the HR calls me and she's like hey, so a position actually filled up, like opened up. How soon can you talk to our director of operations? I talked to him the next day and I got a job offer that's like within the hour of talking to him and our home that we were putting an offer in on this house that I'm in now got accepted.

Olivia Cook:

so it was like back to back, like that's this guy's open the door, got open the doors, thank you god, you've been so good to me, um, you know, and it's he's definitely been developing me and growing me throughout the whole entire process and I'm yeah, I have very hard days but I'm so, so grateful for it. So it just it's always on his timing, you know it is.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I know it's funny, because it's like, you know, my husband, I make plans. I'm like, yeah, we all make plans, and god just laughs. It's like, oh, is that what you think's happening? No, here's what's gonna happen. This, this is where I want you to go. That's really that, like you got the job and the husband transferred and then you guys were able to buy a new house and like it all, just like that's because it was God's plan. Yeah, you know, and you know both of us. We're all about God's timing. Yes, yeah.

Olivia Cook:

So I'm learning to listen to that, you know, throughout time and just not stress out too much. I'm like, you know, if it's a delay, it's a delay and that's okay, because I'm actually I'm going to go to school to get my master's in social work, because I want to become a therapist, oh nice, but I can't, pretty much I can't start until the program I want to start is not allowing me to start until August of 2026. And I'm like, oh, my goodness, like why, and I'm like you know what, I forgot how hard it is to like take care of a baby. You know, like I, I forgot like I was going to have to feed it like myself, because my two-year-old is so like he can feed himself, you know my two-year-old is so like he can feed himself.

Olivia Cook:

You know, oh no, you're going back to the 24 hour day dependence. I know, and I, literally I looked at my husband the other day and I'm like, dude, we're going to have to feed this kid Like we're going to, and my husband's so hands-on, he's, he's so phenomenal, I'm so grateful. Um, that's another thing I teach, I really try to teach my team members is the person you pick to be with, to spend your life with. That's the most important relation, human relationship, you're going to have.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

You know and how God and then your spouse.

Olivia Cook:

Exactly so. That's, that's your. Everybody else is underneath that Right, and that's why I say that, because, of course, your relationship with God is more important but, your human relationship.

Olivia Cook:

That's. That is your responsibility. You don't let anything else come in between that Choosing that person and being very mindful that it's not just like looks. It has to be morals and plans and how you go about life. And are they willing to change, are they willing to adapt? I know how I am. I require someone to be a parent that is going to be hands-on with me. I'm not going to do the whole thing like that. That was never my plan.

Olivia Cook:

I'm also like a 50, 50 female. A lot of females are like I'm seeing this a lot more online now that it's like oh, he needs to be the provider in all of this. And I'm like most people that are not entrepreneurs, like just everyday people that are actually struggling right now are making like 50 60 thousand dollars a year and you expect to be able to cover that and give you the lifestyle that you want. Instead of building and helping each other together, together, I'm like why? Why are you? And I always was like I'm going to build and help together. You know that was my mentality. So, yeah, no, am I going to do all the housework? Absolutely not.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

He can when I first met I had already been a real estate investor for over a decade. So at that point I have like a housekeeper, like the shops and does my laundry and you know, and I have, just you know, all the, just all my sauce oh, I forgot about my little metal sauce here and he's like His first wife was really traditional and did like three meals a day, like the whole, and so I remember he made a joke one day hey, we need to get married. I need someone to come up here and like clean my toilets, like as a joke, right?

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

you know what. We probably actually should have a talk, because you were married 20 years to a woman that stayed home, raised the kids, made three meals a day, did everything. I said I just need you to know, like I'm not that person. Like we're getting a housekeeper immediately and we're going to have a house manager that pays our bills and runs our errands and takes the kids to the doctors and we're going to do this and this and this and that, and he's like, really, I'm like dude, I'm not even remotely interested in doing any of those housewifey things at all. So I did all that, but now that I have the money to afford it, I don't even want to wash my own clothes. That's what we're going to do. And he'd never had any of that. I was like listen, I'm just telling you right now do not think I'm coming up there and living in the mountains and like doing laundry for now, you and two extra kids and those five of us. It was like this is never gonna happen.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

So we hired a house manager and actually had her live in, cook the meals, did the running, did this, and that Bill's like well, it's so nice to have all that. I was like dude, I'm already. That first person I hired was someone to help me keep my house clean, because I'm just bad at it, I don't like it, I'm not good at it, it's never as clean as I want it and I'm like I just need like a professional. That's like the first person I ever hired. So when we came together we had a little bit of growing as far as those things and I'm like and I'm also not cooking. So if you want three meals a day, you need to hire a chef or something, because it's not happening over here either. And now you know who does most of the cooking.

Olivia Cook:

He does my husband, he loves to cook all of a sudden.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I'm like he loves to cook and he makes the best meals.

Olivia Cook:

I'm like this is amazing how is he doing, by the way?

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

he's amazing, you know. You know he had that stem cell, that bone marrow transplant yes, so the donor at the time was a 23 year old female. That was 100 match for all the things that they match up on your DNA. And the doctor said he said sometimes people come out and they'll have a few different personality traits and it's like you know. You hear about people that like get a heart from another person and then suddenly they don't like this food or that food and things are different. So Bill's amazing, he's so good. His doctor's like if every patient was like you, he goes, I would never lose anyone. He's 150% back and so much better.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

But now he likes to cook more and he likes to watch like more, like romantic comedies and like his personality changed a little bit. Like I'm wondering because I really want to meet this, though I wonder if she's like a really good cook or she likes to do these things because he has, like these new habits he didn't have before that I really like, so I'm like. So now I tell people it's like to tease him. I said well, you have female DNA, so if you run his bone marrow it exactly matches her. So I say this is my gay best friend, husband, love, lesbian lover, because he's like, you know, he's a man on the outside, he's a girl on the inside, like legit and which everyone's like. Oh my god, you guys.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I said no, but seriously, he's got female dna. I mean, it's his now. But yeah, he's amazing, he really likes to cook, like suddenly he makes these big meals and I'm like, who are you? Where's the guy I was married to before? I like this version. I like this guy that cooks dinner for me at night. It's like and nice, like steak and you know, side dishes, like this whole thing, and I'm like, who are you?

Olivia Cook:

but I like another question I want to ask you how have you been celebrating your father's life?

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

What do you mean exactly? Because you passed away.

Olivia Cook:

Exactly, and so my father passed away when I was 20. Oh, that's so young, yeah, yeah, and we were really poor so I had to pay for his funeral and everything and I got nothing. But that's besides the point. You know, every time now, like I always think about celebrating his life, and I know that was something that happened for you and I love I watched a lot of the stuff that you put out.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Oh, we had. I have to tell you we had my dad was so ready, like he was so ready. I wasn't even like upset about it. Mean, obviously he's my dad, but I wasn't upset about it. He had just been so depressed since his wife had passed away three years before. He was having so many issues with his heart and his kidneys, and we were like you know, it's time for the hospice, like we all, and this is what he wanted to do, and I was with him every for I was up there, I don't know, for like six weeks I was with him at the hospital and I was with him at hospice. I was with him when he passed away.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

And then we had this amazing party, did all the things he loves at his house because he had moved out of his house into assisted living. So we had we were shooting guns, we were drinking moonshine, we played bluegrass all day, we had like three poker tables set up and it was just like my dad would have loved that party like so much, because those are all his favorite things and we had such a good time celebrating. And I don't know it's odd, it's like I know he's gone, but I feel happy for him because he's one of the last generations of like you go out and kill the dinosaur and drag it back to the cave and the fact that he hasn't been able to hunt for like five years, like not at all, and he spent his whole life hunting like every season musket, bone, whatever it is. He hunts all the time Birds, squirrels, deer, it doesn't matter and he hadn't been able to hunt for the last four or five years, which was like a really big piece of his life. And he had an eye stroke so he went blind in one eye so he couldn't really play cards like he does.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

And he's like a guy that's in tournaments and you know all the things and so you know, I feel like really happy for him. I have a little area up here with some of his stuff on it, so I'm just like I don't even feel weirdly, I don't even feel sad, I feel like he's where he wanted to be and I know you know he and Lois, I know they're not like married in heaven, but you know they're there and my sister passed like they're all there and I don't know. Pictures come up, I post up. I I'm like my dad was a great dad.

Olivia Cook:

do you think that because of what you and your husband went through, when he and all the tough conversations that you had because I remember, because I had you back on my podcast, you know, and we talked a lot about that, like how you had those uncomfortable conversations, but it made y'all so much closer Do you think that helped you when it came to your dad's?

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

time. Oh yeah, we had already. My dad and I had already had those Like we had a really distinct will written out His wife Lois, they were married, they were together almost 50 years. So we chose me off of like his side of the family and Lynn, my sister, slash stepsister, off that side to be co-executors and make sure everything gets done right and everything is handled and there's no squabbling like how everyone squabbles about money and all the stuff.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

So my sister and I, when we got to Ohio, when she came, we met with the attorney at 10 in the morning and between 10 in the morning and noon the next day we had settled the estate, cashed out all the cash sold.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

The house was in a land trust to another guy who gave us a cashier's check for the whole amount. We had the entire estate settled in 26 hours Because we had all those conversations before and Lynn and I were like that's got to be a world record 26 hours Because it's a million dollar estate the houses, the rentals, the money, like all of it. I was like, damn girl, look what we just did in 26 hours, from the minute we sat with the attorney until we took the cashier's check on the house and I was like that's got to be a record. But it made it really easy and I think that's one thing people need to do is you guys, you have kids and you need to have wills and you need to have your houses in a land trust. Your house that you're renting needs to be into a land trust. You need to have all those conversations because you don't know when someone is what's going to happen.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Yeah, so I had all those same conversations with my dad many, many times over the years and with Bill, like it was super weird with Bill Cause, like damn, you're going in for a stem cell transplant, Like you really might not come back. My dad was 86 and we'd already organized all his things and I don't know. Know, I think when you just have everything really organized and and the transition of all the whatever is getting left or whoever's getting what, um, and the funeral's paid for and everything's done, it just makes it like so much easier and not like so I don't know, it's not like, it's so like devastating. It's still devastating, but not the same as having to figure out every little thing and what would they want, what would they do. Like my dad had everything done, paid for he had earned, picked out, like he had a suit, I mean like years ago. So it's like everything. So we just implemented everything the way he wanted it and it was really amazing.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

And so we have a little group chat and every time something comes up in Facebook we all share all the pictures and I don't know. I feel like it was just his right time, if the time was right. I think if I lost a parent in my 20s, I probably would have been like Bill lost both of his parents in his 30s and I was like, wow, like I had my mom still alive and I had my dad till I was 65. I had my mom still alive and I had my dad till I was 65. I can't imagine having lost both my parents in my 30s and had no parents in your whole adult life. I think that's harder because Bill was, you know, he's still. I swear. I feel part of him is still grief stricken about it, I think just because my dad got to live a really long life and do all the things he wanted to do, and so did Lois and my mom also. I think that when I don't know, I feel like when it comes their time, it's okay.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Yeah, it's weird, it's like, I'm like, yeah, it's okay dad, I'm okay with it.

Olivia Cook:

For I think for me like losing my father. My mom's still here, thank God, it's just my best friend. She also lost her grandmother and grandfather within three months of each other and this was recent and, um, they were the ones that raised her her. She never knew her dad and her mom is just not stable and what it is for us, I think it's. They miss out on so many things, so much children. You know, like, like I'm like man and I'm it's been 12 years now for me. So I'm like man. My dad would have loved meeting my son, Like, cause my son's just so much fun, he would have had so much fun with him.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

You know he would have loved your husband. He would love. Thank you so much.

Olivia Cook:

Right. So I think it's it's the memories missed versus, like, the good life had. Yeah, I had a good life while I was here, but you know when? When you die at 52.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

No, no, my sister died at 51 and I was like you know. It's been 11 years. I'm like God. I can't believe all the stuff she's missed.

Olivia Cook:

Right. So I think that's more so where some of that grief might come from. But so that's why I just aim on the celebration so more to for for, like you know, the life of other people. Just that helps me cope with the loss of loved ones.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Yeah, and you know my, my dad was diehard Christian forever and ever and ever and ever. And then I lost a friend, recently too, and she's been a Christian since forever also. And I find, because I've lost a couple of my friends and like one I knew for a fact was not not unless she got saved in the last 30 seconds of her life, when nothing total atheist is like and I actually feel worse about that than my Christians I'm like okay, I know they're in heaven and I believe that, so I'm like they're okay. But my one friend sometimes I'm like golly, if she's in hell, she's been there for so long and she has like so much longer to go.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

And why would someone not just, why would you not just accept Jesus? Like? I don't understand. And I think that one bothers me the worst, because now again, I don't know how god works. I don't know if in those last few minutes of the twilight you get a chance to say, okay, jesus, I take you. I just know that the day before this woman died she's like I'll stop talking about all that, jesus, I don't know. I was like when she died the next day and I was like, and that's bothered me for a decade.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

So just like golly, if I I don't want to know that somebody. And now we're getting off onto religious stuff and people might think, oh, these two crazy Christian women over there talking. But that bothers me. Knowing my dad and my sister and people are in heaven. I'm like no, they're good. I had a long life with him. So, yeah, I do feel bad when people lose someone that young, because I can't imagine not having my dad and my mom through my 30s and my 40s and my 50s and into my 60s Like just decades of doing so many fun things.

Olivia Cook:

Yeah, so it is tough.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Hopefully your mom lives to be 100.

Olivia Cook:

Yes, that's what I'm praying for.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Well, my aunt is 98 and my mom is 88, and my little 98 year old aunt, she still walks a mile a day with a little walking stick. Oh my God, she could not be any cuter.

Olivia Cook:

I feel like her when I grow up.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Yeah, I know I'm like Wanda you're my hero. I want to be you when I grow up. I don't know, I just turned 66. So I'm on my way for sure. So well, it has been really nice getting to know you. We almost talked for an hour. So we're going to have to tap out. So now that you're doing your new life, you're doing a new thing. What would be like a quick word of wisdom you give to people that are like transitioning on their life and their jobs and babies? And what's a quick word of wisdom for people?

Olivia Cook:

Be open to change, because change is something that is constant.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Change is constant. People that can't. I have a husband now that does not like change and it's like sometimes I'm like, dude, you look like this crazy rock star. You have all this stuff and you are so close to change. What is wrong with you? Why are you like that? I'm like, yeah, because he's married to the polar opposite over here. I'm with you. Change you. Just. You know, every single day changes. Life changes New people and presidents and things and babies are born and people are dying. It's like things change all the time. They're not open to change. I feel like people are going to have a hard. They have a hard life. Just change. Go with the flow, learn new things, be open-minded. You know. Find things you don't like, close that door. Find something you like, open that door. Agreed?

Olivia Cook:

Exactly.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

Well, I'm going to a picture. I want to tell you something too your husband is so handsome.

Olivia Cook:

Thank you.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I talked to you last time. I forgot to tell you that. But I see pictures of you. I'm like, oh Lord, he is so handsome. I mean, you're beautiful anyway, but he is very handsome.

Olivia Cook:

Every time I see a guys all together, I'm like, lord, have mercy yeah, one of my first world problems that I'm concerned about is I just want to make sure this new next one is as handsome or looks better than the current one, because it would really mess up the family aesthetic, you know your baby is so, solomon's so beautiful and you're so pretty and your husband is like, so just tall and handsome, he's a whole tall, dark and handsome package.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

I would say, oh, that's a fine looking family right there. Thank you, a fine looking man, you got All right, girl. Well, listen, I want to catch up with you again, stay in touch, and when something new and exciting comes up or you want to dive into rentals and stuff, we'll come on and talk about it again. I will absolutely come to the best person for that when you get more rentals, I'll always help you, so you don't have to ever worry about that.

Olivia Cook:

I appreciate it.

Dwan Bent-Twyford:

All right, everyone. Thank you for being a part of the most wonderful real estate podcast ever. You can find me at Dwanderful. com on Facebook, Instagram, youtube, all of the places. Don't forget to go to Dwanderful. com of the places. Don't forget to go to dwanderful. com, take that quiz and find out how I can help you close your next three deals, absolutely guaranteed. And we'll be back next time. Same bat time, same bat channel. And don't forget that the truth is in the red letters. All right, everybody. Talk to you soon. Thank you, miss Olivia. You're beautiful as ever.