Stop Being A Secret Agent And Start Getting Referrals

We talk with real estate veteran and coach Debbie DiMaggio about what actually creates long-term success in real estate and why most people stall right before they need to take action. We dig into coachability, simple systems that compound over time, and the mindset shift behind her word of wisdom: motion. 
• Debbie’s background as a 35-year residential real estate agent, coach and author 
• What Debbie coaches agents on inside a large brokerage and team environment 
• Why being coachable matters more than collecting advice 
• The frustration of reinventing the wheel and how to avoid it 
• How we choose who we can coach and why fit matters 
• Foundation for Success basics like collaboration and relationship building 
• Colleagues not competitors and why referrals grow faster with trust 
• Building forums that create community like networks, events and podcasts 
• Practical marketing habits including newsletters, blogging and Substack 
• Why handwritten notes still beat most digital outreach 
• Stop being a secret agent and clean up social profiles, headshots and LinkedIn 
• Mindset In Motion’s five-step method: goal, believe, internalise, share, activate 
• Why activation is the step that stops most people 
• Debbie’s marathon story as a real example of mindset and follow-through 
Go to Dwonderful.com, take the quiz, we’ll do a 45-minute call and I’ll answer your questions

Transcript

Welcome And Guest Introduction

Dwan Bent-Twyford 0:47

Hey everybody. Welcome to The Most Dwanderful Real Estate Podcast Ever. I'm your host, Dwan Bent-Twyford. I'm America's most sought-after real estate investor. And I have such a good show for you today. Uh, Miss Debbi, I had the opportunity to be on her podcast earlier today, and we had such a good time. So I'm really super excited to bring her and let you all meet her. Now at Dwanderful, you know, go to Dwanderful.com, take the quiz, we'll do a 45-minute call and I'll answer your questions. We'll do a strategy session. It's super fun, but you gotta take the first step. So, Debbi, we do things a little bit different over here. Okay. I like to have the guests um just give us like a two minutes of what you do, and then I have a list of questions, and I'm gonna ask you questions off that. So just like really quickly, like, what do you do? How do people find you on all of your socials? Okay, all of your info to be at the top of the show notes. Oh, great. And then I'll put it in a bunch more times after that.

Debbi Di Maggio 1:50

But so say, what's your deal? Awesome. All right. Well, I do a lot of stuff, but real estate agent of 35 years. So I've been in real estate residential, helping people buy and sell and move into their next chapters for 35 years. I've been partners with my husband Adam for 35 years. We've been married and in real estate together, which is kind of unheard of. People usually don't work with their spouses or let alone these days married that long. And um, I've also written, I'm about to publish just right before we, in between your recording and my my recording with you and your recording now, I just said yes to the editor on publishing my book. Um, the sixth one is called Mindset in Motion. Activate purpose, power, and peak performance. Um, everything kind of comes back. I also coach, I have a podcast, Mastering the Art of Success. My common denominator, if you were to take all the things I do in my writing and my coaching and my real estate, it's all about helping others, whatever that is and whatever that means to them. So I've never met someone I couldn't coach if they hadn't something, a goal in mind. I've never met a goal I couldn't help them achieve if they wanted to achieve it. And I can't achieve their goals for them. I can help them get there if they want to activate.

Dwan Bent-Twyford 3:12

I love it. I love it. So the podcast Master Art of Success was a show I was just on. It was so great. She's great. So tell everyone how do they find you on just across the board.

Speaker 3:26

All right. Well, Debbie is D-E-B-B-I, because when I was in kindergarten, I was different too. So it is D E B B I. I took off that E to be different. So it's D-E-B-B-I- DI M A G G I O, DebbiDimaggio.com for my website. You can also find me on Instagram at Debbi Dimaggio and Facebook at uh Debbi Dimaggio, pretty much everywhere. And you can go to Debbi Podcast.com to get to Mastering the Art of Success. You can go to coach with Debbi.com. Pretty much put in Debbi Dimaggio, you'll find me.

Dwan Bent-Twyford 3:59

Yep, that's what I was saying in my like just put in Dwanderful. And it's like 10,000 pages. You'll just you can't not find me.

Debbi Di Maggio 4:06

Exactly.

Dwan Bent-Twyford 4:07

You just can't find me. So, you know, one of the things that you just said that I really love, um, so I have been married to my husband for 24 years, and we also worked together from day one. So he was uh an agent, he was a real estate agent. I think he was like number one or two with Caldwell or somebody back in the day. And he had just gotten into the investing side. So when I met him, we were both investors, and so we started working together, we teach together, train together, write books together, you know, just like you guys in 25 years. And you're right, a lot of people don't work with their people or they it's too much togetherness or something, but we really get along working good together. We love it.

Debbi Di Maggio 4:51

Same. Yeah, it's easy. We work differently. So he likes to be front center out the office. That's his command center. I like to be everywhere, so I don't like to be in one place, and it's also I get distracted in the office. So I do go in there sometimes just because we're partners in our Corcoran group, and so I like to show up. But a lot of times I'm either meeting with clients or meeting with um people I want to network with and build relationships with. So I'm out and about, but we work very differently, but we're always a phone call away, a text message, or a direction away. What do you mean?

Dwan Bent-Twyford 5:26

No, we do too. We work different, but different but good together. So it's it's I really like it. Some people are like, oh my God, you guys are getting it all the time. It's like we really like that. We get along good. Um, so I would like to talk. So you're an agent for 35 years. That's a long time. It is. That is a long time. And so you're working and you're training and coaching people, and what are you coaching them on?

Coaching Agents And Being Coachable

Debbi Di Maggio 5:48

So when people first come in to to start to work with us, with our we are we're part of a 29 offices, the Corcoran Icon Properties, Northern California. And so my husband is the broker of 80 agents. And I I say I have the, I'm he as the broker, he's always putting out buyers and helping agents with the more difficult issues that they're having, um, more legal issues. For me, I'm I'm the happier side. I'm the marketing and the business coach to help people find success and to help them with the fun part of the business, which is growing your business and doing the business. So when they come into our office as an uh not a new agent, just new to our company, I'll sit down with them first and I'll make sure my goal is to make it easy for the agents, because even if you're if you're not new, you could be coming from another company and different companies work differently. So you need to know how we do it. And it's it's easy once you learn the tools. So we have a whole back end and of an icon engine, and there's just so many different tools we offer. And I always tell them this is our first meeting, don't get overwhelmed. I'm always here, a text message away. I'm always happy to coach you and help you when the time is right. So I might be talking about a listing presentation CMA right now with you, but you don't have a listing. But when you do, give me a call beforehand and we'll go over that with you. And then one of the gals who works under DiMaggio Beta group, which is my husband, myself, our son Chase, who is in Colorado right now, and Sydney. I meet with Sydney. She's she's someone who is very coachable and wants to be coached. Now, coachable is such a key word. Um, she every Tuesday we have a meeting and she shows up because I I told her, You're you I give a lot of time to people and I said, You if the the spot is yours if you want it, but it's up to you. I'm not gonna chase you. And so she shows up every week. She'll call me if there's a conflict and we'll change the time, but she shows up and there is never, there is always something to talk about. It's it's always something, there's always something you can improve on. I may have learned something that week, or even after 35 years, or I might have had an aha, or I might have had an experience that I can train her on. So it's so important if you're gonna, you know, coach with someone, be coachable and follow up and do the work.

Dwan Bent-Twyford 8:09

And see, so I also coach people on the real estate investing side. And don't you find so many people that you'll tell them like exactly what to do? Like step one, step two, just I exactly, and then they come back. Well, you know, I tried this instead of that. And it's like, stop reinventing the wheel. The wheel's invented.

Debbi Di Maggio 9:06

It's exactly my first thing. I say is don't reinvent the wheel. And then I go back to, as I talk about in my book, I found success early on in real estate. I was about 29, 30. I didn't reinvent the wheel. There were people who had done it very successfully before me. Why was I gonna doubt them? And people exactly they do that. They doubt you or they change it or they try to do it their way. And quite frustrating as trying to mentor someone or coach someone when they're, you know, making it more difficult for you and for them.

Dwan Bent-Twyford 9:38

We have, I was telling you earlier, we have like the the fifth, the 10 options that people can give to a homeowner, you know, to help them buy time to stay in the house a little bit longer. And people go, Well, I didn't really like this and that option, so I just took them off. It's like, you just you redid my my document? Like, what's wrong with you? I know I swear it is so hard.

Debbi Di Maggio 10:00

People get in their own way.

Dwan Bent-Twyford 10:02

Coaching is people that don't coach don't have any idea, like people like us that do, how hard it is because people want to get in their own way, they have an excuse, they don't like the way you do it, they want to try something else, and then they come back and go, This didn't work. And I'm always like, listen, if you have purchased from 10 real estate investors programs and they didn't work, you're the common denominator.

Debbi Di Maggio 10:24

Right, right.

Dwan Bent-Twyford 10:26

If you're not gonna listen, then don't work with me because I get really frustrated easier if people don't listen.

Choosing The Right People To Coach

Debbi Di Maggio 10:31

Right. And and it's hard because as you know, I'm as a you wouldn't be doing it. You you care. When you're a coach, you have to care. And you care so much that you want them to succeed, and then it becomes frustrating when they're not following because you're putting so much into making them find success for them. And but yeah, it's because it could be very exhausting. It hadn't I've gotten better about choosing the right people if to work with. I can't work with everyone, they really have to want to do it.

Dwan Bent-Twyford 10:59

Okay, so that was the next question I was gonna ask you. Because what is it? Because you said you've gotten better at choosing people, and I get that. So, what is it that you're looking for? Because in the beginning, I think all coaches will just take anybody. It's like, oh, if you'll pay me, we'll just take you. Then somewhere along the way, you're just like, ah, I can't work with everybody. So what are you looking for? Like, because I know you know half the people that's listening to my podcast are agents. Not all of them are investors and they're agents. And I just don't know that sometimes agents get enough training. I know a lot of agents just do one or two deals and then they don't stick with it, and then you see other people that you know are doing, you know, the agent of the year and they've done 350 deals. And absolutely what are you looking for for someone that will actually listen, besides just listen.

Foundation For Success In Real Estate

Debbi Di Maggio 11:51

Well, what what I've done, what I did, well, this is a little different, but when someone, when Sydney came in to she wanted to work with us, I said this is the first I'm I'm one of those people who used to, well, I can I can't friend any, I can't take any more friends on Facebook because I've maxed it out. Because what I did was when someone friended me, I friended them back. And I didn't realize like, okay, that was too much because you know, I have no connection with these people, but I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. So that was the kind of same thing when people would come in and want to be to work with us. I used to just say, yes, oh, they're good, they're good. Well, I've taken myself off of the the the recruiting, um, took and taken off my recruiting hat and I let um my other partners do the recruiting and the choosing because I'm just like, oh, you know, they're nice, we should hire them. So I've gotten better at that because what happens, then they come to me and I have to coach them and then they don't last very long because they don't want to, you know, they just think that they're gonna make a lot of money being a real estate agent. And that's a whole other story. That is not true, but you have to work really hard. You work really hard. Oh my gosh. I mean, if we got every single deal that we wrote on, we'd do very well. But when you have multiple offers and there's only one winner, you're not making anything. So people need to know about that. Anyway, so when Sydney came in, I was like, you know, adore you, have known you since you were little, went to kindergarten with my son. I said, but you know, why don't you go talk to the other companies? Similar to coaching, why don't you go talk to the other companies, see what it's like, or talk to the other coaches, see what it's like. I know I'm gonna give you 110%. I know I'm gonna give you more than you'll ever get from anyone else. I even if our coaching's once a week and I give you these assignments during the week, I'm gonna do more than anyone will. So it has to be the right fit and feeling, but they have to want to do the work else it else it won't work and it's gonna just it'll be exhausting and frustrating because I'll want to make sure they're doing it. Have you done your homework? Have you done your homework? So just taking on people who really want to be successful. And, you know, it's fun when you when you get it and when you're doing it, but don't, you know, go against the the grain. Just, you know, it'll be easier if you just follow along. It's it's not of all the people in the last two and a half years I've interviewed real estate agents and coaches and different people, it's there's a way. It's not, it's no one has said anything differently to me about how they practice real estate or network or get their business. We all do it, the similar things a little differently. And we're all just like coaches, we're all as a realtor, we're all different, uh, unique people. We're all different. We have a different network. So um it's and I have a program called Foundation for Success. Like every home needs a strong foundation. Your business, whether it's a service product, or brand, needs a strong foundation. And I break it to five steps. And you can go to Debbi Skool.com, Debbi D-E-B-B-I-S-K-O-O-L dot com. And I have it up there free, um, foundation for success in my program.

Dwan Bent-Twyford 14:59

So what are a couple of foundations? Because I agree, you gotta like when you're building the house, the foundation is farce, right?

Debbi Di Maggio 15:06

And that's what you need for your business. So, and most people are doing a few of the things, but not all of the things. There's a lot, but one of my favorite is collaboration, collaborating with other professionals, whether that's other coaches, whether that's of other realtors, but you need to collaborate with other like-minded professionals. I'm in a business networking group with uh uh individuals from all different companies, different backgrounds, but then I'm also in a real estate network nationwide. And the amount of referrals that happen within, so like you as an investor, you're probably an investor group. So it's people forget that we're not in competition with people that do what we do.

Dwan Bent-Twyford 15:47

Thank you. Thank you. That is the biggest thing. It's like, listen, I'm not your competitor.

Debbi Di Maggio 15:53

Right.

Dwan Bent-Twyford 15:53

If I get a deal and I don't want it, I'll give it to you. If you get a deal you don't want it, you give it to me. We work together. We're all on the same team.

Debbi Di Maggio 16:00

I always say my one of my taglines, colleagues, not competitors. Just we are colleagues first. So that's one of them. The other thing I talk about, of course, there's newsletters and there's the importance of handwritten notes and personal touch, but one of the big ones is creating forums. What do I mean by that? And when I coach, so there I do have a coaching program. If someone wanted to sign up for my Foundation for Success coaching program, I don't want people to be beholden to me for years and years. I want them to come maybe for a month or two months, you know, to launch. So within the Foundation for Success program, I don't just say do a newsletter. I'll help you implement and figure it out, whether that's writing it or finding the right program, or your company might have the program and I know who to go to for you to learn how to use that program, whatever it is. Um, but one of the ones I love is creating forums. So whether that is uh a podcast, you know, everyone's podcasting these days. So that could be your platform. Um, and you can do all of them. Years ago, when I was, oh uh, we we launched our company in a recession, 2008, 2009, we launched our real estate company in a recession because we didn't know when you don't know what you don't know until you know, as we talked about. You don't know what you don't know until you know. We did not know when we were doing that. But one of the things we did to bring community together and people together to know about us as Debbi DiMaggio and Adam and Heidi, the now at Highland Partners, where we've were at a different company, this is where we are. But we brought together the community to come, other business professionals. And what I did was it was called the Piedmont Business Network. So it was like a chamber of commerce, but not. I'd invite people to come in different vocations. And so you they had three minutes. No one spoke for three. Everyone spoke longer. And the reason they spoke, the reason they spoke longer is because of my third question. What's your name? What do you do? And name one charity you're passionate about. People said their name, what they did, but when they started talking about their passion, their charity that they were passionate about, they didn't mention just one, they mentioned two. And this is where you saw their authentic self just come out of their pores. You know, it's not like I'm Frank Selmer and I am a contractor, but my charity is, and then all of a sudden it's just, it just comes out. Their passion, you can see the real them, right? It was really, and then we'd have to say, okay, okay, one, one, one. But that was something easy. We got the we got the Piedmont Center for the Arts. We brought in a little, someone sponsored some food and wine, and then we got had a little networking, then we had the quick, supposedly quick presentations. And then afterwards, we we wanted people to have a little time to network. Oh, I want to meet A, B, and C because they align with you know what I'm doing. So, but it was really fun. So that's just another example of a forum.

Dwan Bent-Twyford 18:58

But I really love that too, because people just don't understand how you know it's like I tell real estate investors, listen, real estate investing is not a one-man deal. You need an agent because if you're gonna do a short sale, you have to have a listing agreement. You're gonna need a title company, you're gonna need a mortgage company, you're gonna need a contractor. You cannot be a soul, I'm doing all of it by myself. It's not possible. And then, like you said, people are like, Well, I don't want to tell everybody what I'm doing. I want them to find out about my deal. They're for I don't know, I think they're afraid everybody's gonna steal everybody's business or something. It's like, okay, but if someone steals your business once, tell everyone you know, don't work with them. Just that's it. That's a learning curve and move on.

Debbi Di Maggio 19:37

But you have to That's what I say. And integrity is everything. People will know, they'll know you will show your your spots by how you act within the community that you're serving because people will know and they will not trust you. And in in real estate, integrity is is all we have. So we know the agents who are are not integrous, and you know, we're they're not getting any special deals or treatment or anything. Um, so it's so important in what you do again.

Dwan Bent-Twyford 20:06

I could not agree with you more on that because I don't think people realize, like as an agent at your company, yeah, there's a lot of agents around, there's other companies around, but it's a smaller world than people think.

Debbi Di Maggio 20:19

Right.

Dwan Bent-Twyford 20:19

You rip off a few people, it's gonna get around and it doesn't take long. And I tell people like, listen, you know, you may have a real estate investing group that's got 500 investors, but you screw one person, everyone will know.

Debbi Di Maggio 20:32

I promise you. And you know, even Aries, I'm in the East Bay of San Francisco. I'm looking out to San Francisco, but I also am have a place in West Hollywood and and practice real estate there too. You would be surprised. LA is huge, but it is a small world, and you run into the same agents and you know the stories, even though I'm not there 24-7. I've been there long enough for the last eight years. You know who you know who's integrus and who is not. And you just your reputation is everything.

Forums That Build Community Referrals

Dwan Bent-Twyford 21:06

It's so, so, so much. Okay, so your foundations, I like going through your foundations for success of collaborating. Uh, I like the personal touch, you know, the forms and stuff like that. What else? I mean, I don't want you to give them all away because you know, but no, no, it's fine. I love hearing these. That's kind of like an exact things.

Debbi Di Maggio 21:23

I'll be really specific, even beyond the found the foundation, but some of the tools I use, I'll just give you some tools that are more important. Um, so when you're blogging, so blogging has like we were saying, you know, there what we weren't, we didn't have the internet years ago. Um, we were you were door knocking, but you we and the courthouse wasn't on um online. So blogging has changed, you know, and now there's something called Substack where I love, and that's a blogging platform. And so I try to put stuff on my website too, but Substack makes it so easy. So I have three, I talk about three pillars. One of them is mindset, because my new book, Mindset in Motion. So I'm really passionate about that topic. And then the other one, of course, is real estate. And then I also talk about beauty at any age because age is just an attitude. And that is my third pillar. I'm very into health and wellness. And I just went to a biohackers uh conference over the weekend, and it was incredible. But um, so Substack, great place to blog. You've got to send your newsletters out, you know, to connect with, keep in touch with your clients. Um hand, so I'll tell you another one I use. It's prompting send out cards. It is, and so I have, I think I have your address. So I love to send cards through the send out cards. Now you can you can use their card and that's fine. But I'm very I like to make it very personal. So I'll find photos of you and I will add it to my the card. So I'll make almost like a collage for you and then send a card to you. And do you know how many times people will be like, oh, I got your card, you know, it's like it's so great because they love their card that I sent them with something personal. So that handwritten note, and I've always done that and I've always preached it. So I saved a lot of my thank you notes and cards from people, but you know, everyone's email and then it's gone, and then text and it's gone. So yes, there's a time and a place for email and text messaging, they're great, but nothing replaces a handwritten card. So um, I would try to work. on those quite a bit.

Dwan Bent-Twyford 23:23

Yeah, people do. Whenever I get something handwritten or someone thanks me for something, I keep all of them.

Debbi Di Maggio 23:28

Yeah. It's like, oh, they wrote it. And then they keep them. I've been to a friend's house and there's she has four of my cards. And one of them, she has a cute dog that I babysit from time to time. So one of them is a photo of her dog that I had taken when I babysat. So you know whatever's personal to them, it's kind of fun and it's great. And then they don't forget you, you know, especially you and I were on podcasts and we're meeting people constantly. You know, if you have a photo of that person or if you've given your, you know, even a little photo of like I'll have on the back of it my husband, my son, and I and you'll be like, oh yeah, Debbi, you know, and you'll it'll just reinforce who I am so we won't forget one another. So it's really important. Let's see. So newsletters, e blasts, website of course, you need a website, I remember telling our handyman. It's like, I know you're a handyman, but people need to, even if it's just a landing page, you know, start somewhere. I also go through the first step is going through all of your social media. I'm going to start um and if there are any young people, I'm my book Mindset in Motion, I'm going to do a seminar Mindset in Motion to Empower Youth, because I find the younger people like myself, when I was younger, I didn't know what I wanted to do. So I'm going to set up these mentorship programs and I'd like to ask you if you would mentor, uh be a mentor. It wouldn't be a long period of time, but that someone could call you. That's a young person. I think I'm going to do like 17 to 25 age.

Dwan Bent-Twyford 24:51

That's a good group.

Newsletters Blogging And Handwritten Cards

Debbi Di Maggio 24:52

Right. And um anyway, so um that's another way to do a forum too. But uh what was I saying about the web? Oh the handy man. Oh so I in the form I created a form doc and I sent it out to a 17 and a 23 year old I recently was speaking to they had come to me and then I thought oh you guys are the perfect demographic. I'm going to do this for you and your friends. So I said do you have a LinkedIn? And I, you know I said put in your LinkedIn and then in parentheses I said if you don't have a LinkedIn start one. Start and I thought I taught that to my kids years ago was when they were in high school just start a LinkedIn and then after that you would I saw all their friends like wildfire. Everyone when started getting a LinkedIn but so what I do when you come to me with them the first step is we go through all of your so if you're an agent we go through your social media we make sure you have a headshot make sure your phone number you can't be a secret agent you know if you have a service product or brand people I use the same exact word stop being a secret agent investor. People need to know how to get a hold of you and for us we need a DRE number and then just a few things about you you know what you what you like to do. And it's pretty simple but a lot of times and then I say don't get overwhelmed because maybe they're not yet on social media or they it they haven't used it in a long time make sure it's all set up properly and professionally they know you're a real estate agent your photo's up there and if you're not interacting with it right away that's okay but people need to when I meet someone or connect with someone I go immediately to LinkedIn. I find them I connect with them and if they don't have a LinkedIn page I'm like hmm are they for real? Do they really are they really busy? So LinkedIn is my yellow pages most people don't remember what yellow pages are but but I LinkedIn is very important. But have have your presence on all of them your bio fill out all the all the different prompts they have for you and then figure out the ones you want to be visible on wherever your clients might be but that's where you have to start with the social media.

Dwan Bent-Twyford 26:56

Yeah no I agree I agree. So I'm going to ask you a question about mindset because I love the fact that you talk about mindset. When someone is I just want to know what you personally think.

Stop Being A Secret Agent Online

Debbi Di Maggio 27:08

When someone is new maybe they're becoming an agent or whatever in their mind what do you think is the biggest thing that holds people back well their their thoughts their beliefs their self-limiting beliefs that they don't think they could do it. So what happens is I'm going to break down the five step method for you. And so using this I in the book it talks about this five-step method and how you can use this method whether you're going through a divorce overcoming an addiction um launching your real estate business investing um losing weight whatever your goal is you can you can follow this step and how I got to this method was reverse engineered all the goals I had achieved over my lifetime. And then I've you can put it someone said I want to double my income so I write out a blueprint um using these five steps. So the first one is to have a goal but you have to have clarity around that goal you can have 20 goals that's fine but let's just start with one when you're when you're writing this out you have one goal get clarity what is that statement around that goal number two believe don't say oh someday or you know you just no self-limiting beliefs speak in the affirmative the goal is achieved don't worry about how you're going to get there it's achieved you're doing it it's done internalization this is the third step is internalize is where you would journal you would write you would just get it all out same with like just imagine if you were using this to overcome an addiction you would be writing what does that look like not being addicted to that substance what if you're going through a divorce what do I want my life to be like so this is where you journal you can also use Pinterest you can also do vision boarding but this is where you really make it you you really internalize that goal. Then you share it now I used to say just share some goals need to only be shared with supportive people and the reason why I added the supportive people is well you definitely will get naysayers or people who are jealous or envious maybe because they they they know they they might they should have that goal that but they don't really want to do it or they're like oh if that person achieves that goal I'm less than so you have to be careful. Yes if you're going to lose weight or get in a health regimen everyone wants to do that. That's easy share that all you want on social media. But I was going to run the LA Marathon uh uh in 2024 right before I was turning 60. I was not going to tell anyone I was because I decided in February I ran it in March. If I told my friends that I was going to run it or even my kids or my husband they're like you're crazy you don't even work out and you're not training but I did it I told my husband a week before I said you have to come to LA I'm running the LA marathon and he does he knows me well enough to not question me. So to this day I have I have the medal but I did it I trained myself on mindset. And this was a year before I wrote mindset in motion but that's how I live my life in motion just one step in front of the other and I ran it but I trained my mind I read books I immersed myself in the mindset of the military person, the soldiers all the different things they do. They they're a normal human being and they become almost superhuman especially Navy SEALs, right? So it's mindset. It's it's it's beyond and so I I did it I completed the marathon with no training and you know did it and then I went and looked at YouTube and I was watching I watched for like two minutes of this guy who was talking about training for a marathon I'm like oh God I I can't even watch the video let alone train like all the different things he wants you to do and and all the running and practicing and this day and eating and this this many miles and this day this rest and I was like oh forget it. You know so I just went anyway so so share with supportive people and then the last one is activate. And we kind of talked about this because in everything we do we have to activate we have to take action and you I can take your life from when you were 30 when um your husband walked out the door and took everything you literally got into those steps and and you activate it. But I think that is where most people fall short for themselves is they they can go through the first couple steps and then when they get to five it's like how am I going to get through how am I going to get around how am I going to get over it's like they just can't activate similar like you said in investing they when it's really time to do it they're trying to find some other easier way and there isn't you just have to and then you bring in helpful people to help you whether it's coaches professionals you want to invest they call you you know they want to sell or buy a house call me they want to you know be a great speaker hire a speaking coach they want to lose weight hire a nutritionist a fitness trainer you know it's you have to bring in all those people top athletes have like 15 coaches you know so you just have to activate in order to achieve and that is a hard step for people because like you know I think that I find that I'll find someone like at a real estate conference they'll say hey I'm gonna get your program you know next year I'm getting I'm getting my LLC I'm getting my website together I'm getting that and I'm like okay I see them a year later like oh well you know I got sidetracked I didn't do that and it's like the same thing.

Dwan Bent-Twyford 32:23

And then if I see them again I'm like listen don't walk up to me and tell me you still have not started like what is wrong with you right and they get down to that fifth step and they're like they've read it they've trained maybe they've over trained over studied they've over whatever and then they don't take the first step.

Debbi Di Maggio 32:40

Right.

Dwan Bent-Twyford 32:40

Take the first step you'll be all right.

Debbi Di Maggio 32:42

Exactly. But that first step scares people. It is it is you just have to jump in you have to jump in one foot in front of the other I always I I wrote a blog once in this woman and I thought it was too much what I shared. I thought you know when do I not share everything that's in my mind my husband calls it thought bubbles because I'm always thinking and then it comes out and I said you know you should get up get dressed and get out even when you don't feel like it you know that's that's the best time. Yes if you're sick of course you're not going to get up and get out but if you know if you're feeling a little down and get up get dressed get out start interacting be on the lookout one of my quotes I say be on the lookout for the magic. That's where opportunities reside. It's you just have to get out and things happen. I mean through conversation we've had two great conversations today and it wouldn't have happened if we just didn't make the time to do it.

Mindset In Motion Five Steps

Dwan Bent-Twyford 33:33

So I don't know I have loved getting to know you really I love that I'm like oh I just love this girl so also just to keep us on time here. So so just one more time tell everybody how to find you.

Debbi Di Maggio 33:47

Yes you can go to Debbie demaggio.com d e b b i capitalmiggio and my book mindset in motionbook dot com hopefully will be out in four days on Amazon but it's you can read about it now on mindset in motionbook.com.

Dwan Bent-Twyford 34:06

I'm excited I'm gonna read that book thank you I'm all about mindset I just you know like I was telling you on my story you know with my dad always saying oh you made out a good stop you can do anything my mindset just was I really could do anything right people were like aren't you afraid to fail and I and and I would look back and go it actually didn't occur to me.

Debbi Di Maggio 34:24

When you said that you nailed exactly my experience. So when I was going to run the marathon I had read David Goggins I did not know who he was at the time but I read David Goggins' book Can't Hurt Me and he had this awful life he had no support awful support no support from his family he just had very different from what you and I had you and I had parents who were like cheerleaders for us saying we can do everything. So when I was decided to run the marathon I was like okay he endured he first of all he was 300 pounds he endured so much he was so unhealthy he had no horrible relationships with his family he had no support he went through all that and he and then he was running on broken shins when he was trying out for the Navy SELs I'm like this guy went through all of that I have supportive family supportive this that's you know my own family and two kids and husbands very supportive I have nothing but positive energy I feel good you know yeah I've taken I do a little soul cycle here and there and I've run a little bit here and there but there I have nothing against me. He had everything and now he is like uh you know is now he's a huge marathon running I haven't really um I was waiting for my own book to come out before I read I only read his one book about his personal story but when I learned who he was I didn't listen I haven't listened to any of his talks because I just wanted to finish my book with with my words and like your own thoughts yeah I didn't want to get I didn't want to read anyone else's book because I only wanted to be mine but it'll be fun to to see to read to hear more about who he is and what he does. But yeah there were we were you and I both were set up for success. So we were like we didn't know we didn't know what we didn't know. And so we were naive and when we set up the company in the recession we weren't even thinking of failing. We were just doing it and then we were figuring it out along the way.

Running A Marathon With Mindset

Dwan Bent-Twyford 36:11

Yeah yeah even when Bill and I started buying all those buildings people are afraid aren't you guys afraid you're gonna get over your head and we're both just like well it actually didn't occur to us no I don't ever ever think like oh I don't know I might fail. I'm just like I'll try if I fail I fail but if you don't try right you can't win if you don't play. Right exactly okay so last thing is I like uh all of my guests to and I first of all I just want to tell you I have loved getting to know you today. You're just like one of my favorite people already and I really encourage all of you to listen to her follow her. She interviewed me I'll be on her show she'll be on mine this will actually be out just next week and uh you just your heart your spirit just everything it's just like you're just like so yummy. And so I like all the guests to leave us with just a word one actual word of wisdom don't tell me what it means just think about for a second give us a word one word of wisdom I would say motion okay so what my wonderful people do is every week they write down the word motion this week and I tell them get on a sticky and put it on your mirror and every time you're brushing your teeth you say motion that's your word of the week everybody motion so I get everybody motion I get everyone a word of the week. I love it then so I want you now to tell us what that word means to you.

Debbi Di Maggio 37:37

Whatever it is you just get into motion get into motion just do it move forward no excuses means all of it persistence dedication it means so much it's a little word that's packed with with good stuff.

Dwan Bent-Twyford 37:50

Yep packed with good stuff yep that's it and so and people do it they'll say oh that was really good word this week and I never tell people ahead of time that I want them to give me a single word because usually if you say hey give us some party words people sometimes will talk 15 minutes. It's like oh my gosh I meant like so now I'm just like a word but then I always want to know what it means to you because everyone here is a different word and thinks different things.

Debbi Di Maggio 38:13

Right.

Dwan Bent-Twyford 38:13

And then you can explain it a little bit when you said motion my first thought was move forward.

Debbi Di Maggio 38:18

Yep move forward get into motion take action awesome I love it.

Dwan Bent-Twyford 38:24

All right everyone thank you so much for being a part of the most wonderful real estate podcast ever. The Debbi, you're just like oh yell you're so amazing. And you guys were here uh every Tuesday so we'll see you next week same bat time same bat channel and remember that the truth is in the red letters. Goodbye everybody that was awesome