Self-Worth Revolution: Tips for your Transformational Journey

Embracing Authenticity: A Journey Through Vulnerability and Self-Worth with Amy Dawns

• Vivian Medrano • Season 1 • Episode 5

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Have you ever stood in front of a mirror, vulnerable and questioning, only to realize the reflection staring back holds the key to empowerment? This episode with the incredible Amy Dawns unravels this very concept, inviting listeners to a profound discussion on self-worth and the liberating power of embracing ourselves, flaws and all. Together, we navigate the complexities of gender roles, the transformative potential of vulnerability, and the unparalleled strength that comes from self-acceptance. Amy, a single mother, and creative force, shares her own journey along with her mission through her podcast "Winning the Divine Lottery."

Embrace the art of self-discovery as we examine the roles that define us and the ones we choose for ourselves. As a host and a mother, I've learned the significance of living authentically and how it influences our approach to parenting, self-love, and every role we play. Our experiences—whether as nurturers, survivors, or creators—are not just personal narratives but are powerful lessons that breathe life into our identity. The stories we share in this episode reflect the collective voice of transformation, from the birth of a child to the cathartic release found in creative expression, all culminating in the beauty of finding and owning one's true colors.

Concluding this journey together, we discuss the balance between empathy and self-preservation, exploring how we can offer compassion without draining our own reserves. The act of writing a personal book or creating a podcast like mine, infuses our vulnerabilities with strength, turning what was once private into a beacon for others. Amy and I celebrate the joy of mutual appreciation and the excitement of what lies ahead for those embracing the path of self-love. So, join us for an episode that's not just a conversation, but a shared embrace from two souls dedicated to nurturing self-worth and authentic connection.

Information on Guest Speaker:
Introducing Amazing Amy, a dynamic coach, author, speaker, and artist, dedicated to helping people connect with the intelligent divine love within themselves. As the engaging host of “Winning the Divine Lottery” podcast, Amy not only inspires transformation but also guides individuals toward wealth, both in material and spiritual abundance. Through her insightful te

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The "The Self Worth Revolution" Podcast may, at times, cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics. Neither The Company, The Host nor the guests shall at any time be liable for the content covered causing off...

Speaker 1:

but beyond gender, beyond gender even, really in the universal subconscious mind, this innate intelligence doesn't call it male or female. There's no separation. It's this complete, unified field of love and again, it's just one of those things you have to experience. But it's definitely noticeably different when men come and it's so beautiful and you can call it that. I think calling men beautiful is actually so powerful and it takes a different level, I think, of courage and bravery, for men to be that vulnerable. It really does and that's why it's so beautiful.

Speaker 2:

It's so empowering because it's not something that society would consider something normal for men to do, and that's the thing is that they are programmed to believe that's not normal. But courage comes from being vulnerable and that's the beauty of it being able to connect with yourself. And I honestly feel that when they're able to connect that deeply with themselves, the love that they start accepting for themselves, it's so powerful, something that they probably for so long were so afraid to feel. Yeah, they didn't know what it was to feel that. And now that they are able to feel safe and know that I could be vulnerable and not be judged and let's be so invigorating for them, yeah, so much lift from them.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to the self worth revolution podcast hosted by Vivian Medrano. I am not only a podcaster, but a mother, a nurse, a life coach and a survivor. This podcast is about turning your being into your power, your experiences into your lessons, and to start living a life full of abundance and her peace and fulfillment. My higher purpose of for my listeners to find their self worth and their value by following their path to greatness. We are all deserving of living our best lives. It is time to stop identifying with our past. Start living in the present for a better future.

Speaker 2:

This podcast will have guest speakers that will share their stories of how they transformed their lives and found their worth. My mission is to let my listeners know this is your time to shine, to know that you are not alone. Healing is empowering. It takes courage to be vulnerable and our voices have power. Hold on to your lives, because this will be an incredible right of self transformation, self empowerment and radical change. It is time for us to take our power back. Hi, how are you? Welcome to the self worth revolution. I'm here with Amy Dawns and I'm so excited. She's an energy healer, an artist, a painter, an author. Oh my gosh, she's so much With not no further ado, I want you to introduce yourself.

Speaker 1:

Thanks, vivi, I'm so honored to be here with you today. Yeah, you're just bright and glowing and I love your energy. I know we chatted once before this and I'm just really excited to be here, so thank you for having me. Yeah, I am. I have many things, I wear many hats and it's been a really exciting wild ride.

Speaker 1:

I live in Regina, saskatchewan, canada, and I'm a single mom to an amazing 15 year old son and, yeah, teenage years have been really interesting, but he's generally just such a great kid. And I've managed to be an entrepreneur for 18 years now, while going through a marriage that failed and some health issues and being a single parent. So it's been definitely a journey, and I do consider myself more of a creative entrepreneur. I'm always creating, I'm always innovating, coming up with new ideas. I have a background in personal training, actually, and energy, medicine, body talk, and from there it's just kind of evolved and expanded. So I'm an artist, an author, a speaker, a very new podcast host like yourself. My podcast just launched yesterday and it's been so exciting being able to connect with people this way. I'm sure you know what that means for you. It's just so cool.

Speaker 2:

I'm so excited for you. What's the name of your podcast?

Speaker 1:

It's called Winning the Divine Lottery.

Speaker 2:

And what is your mission through your podcast that you want people to connect with?

Speaker 1:

I think my decision for doing the podcast is I've just had so many mystical, spiritual, divine love experiences in the last decade and a little bit of my life that have been so radical and fulfilling and only involved me and the universe, and I feel like it was time to start sharing these with the world in this way.

Speaker 1:

And my journey really has been one of connecting to this deep love that was always inside of me but I didn't know, and how connecting to that love really has changed my life and enhanced my life. And so, through this podcast, I really want to be able to show people what's inside of them and point the way and the light to this intelligent love that exists within them, because I know firsthand what happens when we start really leaning into this and cultivating a relationship with our heart in this way. And everybody is just so inherently worthy simply because we are here and we exist, and we don't have to go through life proving and people pleasing. We can generally just allow ourselves to be, to be exactly who we are, and that's more than enough.

Speaker 2:

That is beyond more than enough. I feel that through my transformational journey to finding me and finding who I am has become like my most empowering thing that I have done, because I'm able to find me through my imperfections, through my perfections, whatever that may be I have realized that me, my unique self, who I am as a person, is my power. Nobody else is me, and so that's something that I really talked to about people. I know when I started finding my light and when I started finding my true awakening for myself, when would you say, that was your part, where you were like this is my awakening moment, this is my time.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it was after I had my son. Actually, his whole pregnancy with him, and especially the birth process, retraumatized me. It actually touched on all the trauma that I had experienced from a childhood and I never expected that and I never thought I was strong enough to like withstand that without getting like too deeply into the story. And I really refer to my son as being my hero, because if it wasn't for that, I would have never started on this journey of going inward. And once I started this journey of going inward, I started to understand that just everything's connected my mind, my body, my emotions, my belief systems, my subconscious programming and conditioning from when I was a kid.

Speaker 1:

And it was really that that was such a huge, pivotal moment for me in my life and one of the hardest and most challenging. But at the same time it was such a blessing because while I was going on this I called a spiritual journey because it is spiritual in nature Like it brought me back to the truth of me. I believe we are spiritual beings having a human experience, and while I was on this journey of healing and transformation, my marriage was falling apart and so, instead of being the wife that was trying to cling and fix and manipulate her husband. I was so immersed in my own self transformation and healing that it actually helped me cope while that was happening so I was really having the birth of my son. Was that moment that shifted me into this next phase of my life? And I mean, once you go in that direction, you can't unknow everything that you learn. So it's been, it's been wild.

Speaker 2:

It's such a beautiful thing because I'm a mother of two and being a mother, I don't only identify with being a mother, and that's one thing that's really important for us to know, like we're beyond just being mothers, where they're role model, they look at us as what does my mom, what will my mom do, what will my father do in the situation? Right, and how do I handle this situation? And they ask for us for guidance, and not through our, therefore, and by us living through our authentic self, through us recognizing what our body feels and responding in a healthy way also lets them know hey, it's okay to be imperfect, it's okay to not have everything aligned how you want it to be aligned, but what can I deal with things? How can I deal with them when they come to me? And that's like the beauty of transforming is, yes, we're still gonna have that with us, it's part of us, but now we know how to handle it in such a healthier way.

Speaker 2:

And so then, in retrospect, then our children start doing the same thing for themselves, you know, and they start living within themselves knowing that it's okay to be me, it's okay to be different and it's okay if I don't do the things that other people do, because I value who I am as a person, because you value yourself, and that's the beauty of it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I couldn't agree with you more. I am so grateful for the path that I got sent on by having him, because it's changed. It changed me, which changed how the way I parented, which changed how the way I mothered and just showed up for my son, and you can see it Like from a very young age actually, you can see how that's influenced him and, of course, he's become his own person. Part of it, though, too, was, I think, being a single parent when he was such a young age. I had to learn to let go a lot faster than a lot of parents, and that wasn't always easy, but I mean, when you get a week without your son and you're not in his life, I mean you have to learn to let go. Yeah, so it's been. I love being his mom and he's such a great he's not a kid anymore.

Speaker 2:

If he was here he'd be like I'm not a kid anymore, mom, a young man, I know, yeah, our kids mine's 24 and 18 and they're always gonna be my kids, exactly, and it's okay and I love it, yeah, and so that's so beautiful. Thank you for sharing, because it is our children bring a light into us sometimes that we don't recognize One of the things that a therapist told me one time that made me realize never thought of things that way, never in my life. But when she told me, if I loved myself as much as I loved my children, if I protected myself as much as I protect my children, I wouldn't have allowed certain things to have happened to me.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, amazing.

Speaker 2:

Never in my life thought of it that way. And that was my aha moment, where I'm like wait, you're right, cause I would do everything for my children and protect them to make sure that they live a life that they're worthy of. So, yes, you know, and that was so powerful to hear that, because nobody's ever told me that. I've never seen it in that way.

Speaker 1:

I love that. I think the beauty of us transforming is we actually get to become the divine parent to our little one that we have inside of us, and I think being a parent helps us be able to see cause. We've known our children, obviously since they were inside of our womb, right Like we carry them around. We remember all of those things, but when we're babies we don't have a conscious memory of that. But that subconscious memory is within us, and so I think being a parent is such a beautiful gift because we really truly do know. Well, we don't know, but we learn how to parent ourselves as if we are created, like in the perfect image. The way God or the universe looks at us is through this disparity, this unconditional love, like, like there's nothing that you could do, say or behave, even if it's considered bad or anything like that. There's nothing that you could do, be or behave in a way that would take my love away from me, and I just think that's powerful.

Speaker 2:

And it's so beautiful. Some of us are not able to be parents, but we're still a role model, I know, for me, my nephews, my nieces or my friends children. They look up to us and they see that value in us and we also do it for them and it's just the beauty, because we wanna create a world that's more unified with love, with happiness, and it starts with us Showing them, and that's the beauty of it. Them feeling it from us and I love that feeling and, as a side of that, I love all that. I love being a parent. I love what we do for our children, for our nieces, for our nephews, for our family, for the world to be able to feel this. It's so great.

Speaker 2:

You are an artist I wanna focus on that so much because through your artwork you created something that's so beautiful. It is called true colors and it's to transform your life through the colors that you're able to create and see yourself with. You become your authentic self, without not knowing, by the power that you see on the outside of you, because a lot of times people have a hard time seeing who they are with nothing on their bare selves. They see all their imperfections, all their scars, but you turn all that into something beautiful through your artwork and I want you to talk about it.

Speaker 1:

Ooh, I love the introduction that you gave for that. That was powerful, vivi. Thank you for that. I wanna acknowledge you too, because you haven't even experienced it yet, but yet you have experienced it, just through you digging into it a little bit, I think, and I can really feel that.

Speaker 1:

So I'm gonna go back to the beginning with this, because true colors came to me at a time in my life again where I was on this journey and what I started to discover was just all these hidden gifts and talents inside of me that I had no, I really didn't have any clue that existed.

Speaker 1:

And I had a dream one night that I was supposed to paint these women completely naked Like an actual dream while I was laying in my bed, sleeping. And I woke up the next morning knowing, like without a doubt, that I had to find these women and ask them if they would go through this process. Now, I didn't even know what the process was. I knew I was gonna paint them, I knew I had a background in energy medicine and I knew I had already been painting for a couple of years intuitively, which is also another story in and of itself, because I never desired to be an artist. I wasn't a painter as a kid or in high school. I wrote that's about the extent of my creativity and performing and speaking. So within a week actually it was less than a week, five days the women that I asked all said yes. So imagine this me saying to them I have no idea what's gonna happen, but I'm asking you to come take your clothes off and let me paint you.

Speaker 1:

I did know, though, from my dream, that it was to raise awareness for body image and how we see ourselves. As I, we see ourselves identified as the body very much from when we're a young age, especially as women, and so the first lady I ever painted was actually one of my mentors and teachers. She taught me, like the first few courses, of body talk when I did energy medicine, and I set up my whole art room. I put a massage table there, I put low lighting, I had heaters on because I knew they were gonna be naked and I wanted them to be warm enough. I had candles lit, really colorful lights and in this painting studio this was my very first one on two walls, there was two walls of mirrors, and I asked my friend at the time, who did photography on the side, if she would take pictures, because I'm gonna be busy painting and I know they're not gonna be able to see what I'm doing when they're laying on a massage table. Well, vivi, all I can say is what happened next was beyond like what I could have ever thought or imagined. Truly, the way I was guided to what body part to start with, to what color to choose, to I was already attuned to be able to listen to the body speak to me. So stories, traumas, emotions, all of these things just kind of synergistically occurred during the time of me painting. Tears were released, it was just. It was like I was being given the opportunity to give these women an experience of a rebirth a conscious rebirth, because how many of us actually consciously remember our birth experience? Not very many of us.

Speaker 1:

So the painting ended up taking around an hour and a half to two hours when I was first starting this, and then, when I felt it was complete, I would guide them, with their eyes closed, to one of the mirrors and slowly ask them to open their eyes, and so, for the first time, they would be seeing all of this paint on their body. And the thing that transpired was is I wasn't painting them to make them look a certain way. I was listening to the innate intelligence that was in their body and this intelligent love, and bringing their deeply buried subconscious story to life in color on their body. And so it was everything. It wasn't just the beauty, but it was also the traumas and the belief systems and the limitations and how they maybe saw themselves as ugly in certain ways, and so watching this woman look at herself for the first time and cry and just have this profound, oh my gosh, like look at this masterpiece on my skin.

Speaker 1:

And then I know you, the listeners, can't see what I'm doing, but like literally, like looking at different parts of their body, just taking it all in, it was so wild. And then, from that moment on, we removed them to a different space and now they got to actually take up space. And I just wanna pause there because we get to a point in our lives where we play very small and we stop taking up space because we don't believe we're worthy. And so whatever came up in their session. Now here they had the opportunity. How much space am I willing to give myself permission to take up? How?

Speaker 1:

much space am I willing to allow myself to play and be free? And the photographer was taking pictures and sometimes they would stop and and pose and or do yoga poses if they were really into yoga and really this portion ended up becoming the space where they got to allow their nervous system now to just Unravel, because our nervous system holds all of our trauma and all those neuro pathways. It was so a mind-blowing and I'm just gonna pause that for a second because there is another part where they shower it off and then three weeks later they come back for an image reveal and that's like a whole separate session in itself. But I Went through five of these women very, I think within three weeks we had them finished and every single woman had a completely unique experience.

Speaker 1:

But there was synchronicities like parallels, this, this bringing the subconscious story to life, the profound effect of seeing themselves in a mirror, the ability to expand beyond their limited story of I Don't have to keep playing small anymore in my life. Like I, I'm here to expand and grow and I'm meant to take up space and there's enough space for me, to me not being able to find the last woman and Sitting with it for a day and then, all of a sudden, I had a light bulb moment and aha moment go. Oh, my goodness, how can I lead women through this experience if I don't experience it myself?

Speaker 1:

Oh, and so I was the last woman, oh and so, because nobody was doing this like this literally came to me in a dream like this was a gift from the universe. I Painted myself, which was actually really fun, and I took it to a whole other level when I went into the other space, because I'm a poet as well. I love spoken word poetry and I had her video record me speaking and Releasing my voice. It was. I cried a lot. It was profound.

Speaker 1:

But my experience of when I saw my pictures back a few weeks later at the time I still had about 45 pounds extra body weight from having my son and this was a couple of years after having him and when I looked at these pictures there were some of me laying down on my side and all these different poses and it's interesting because the different poses that you're in shows the paint differently and All I saw when I looked at me were layers of fat that were trying to protect me, like I actually actually fish Visually and viscerally saw.

Speaker 1:

The fat on me were just layers of protection, but through that lens all I could see was ugly and it was like a knife Going right into my heart and right into my gut. It was really hard, and I left her house, and I came home and I went into my basement and I laid on a massage table in a fetal position, and I sobbed for like 45 minutes, and I truly believe that I was just sobbing all of this ugly out of me, because for a really long time, when I was younger, that's how I saw myself, and it was from that moment, though, that Some real big transformations started to happen, because I didn't change anything in my diet, anything in my Exercise routine, anything like that, and I started to release that weight.

Speaker 1:

And I yeah, and I just started to. I believe what happened was shed. Shed. The story that was attached to that perception of ugly and and love is really what started to emerge from me. And so now, a decade later, I'm still doing these sessions, and I do them with men too. It's it's one of the most moving, profound Experiences, and it's an experience like you have to come and experience it, and you have to come and travel to Canada To be able to experience this?

Speaker 2:

I definitely will. I have like a reason why I don't know how I would look like before. You know, with my colors, I probably Imagine having a lot of dark colors on me, just because it was such a dark phase in my life that I was going through about a year ago. And Now I even see myself and I see myself as beautiful. It's hard Because I didn't see myself like that before and I used to try to hide myself through filters. And now I see myself and sometimes I wear makeup and sometimes I don't, and I'm okay because I still see myself as beautiful.

Speaker 2:

Where for a long time I wasn't able to see that? Because I saw a lot of my scars that I carried with me. People couldn't see them, but I could see them and it was just reminders to me of the hardships that I went through life, the things that I was sad. You know I was thin, but even though I was thin, I was still bullied and made fun of a lot, and so a lot of people think you know well, you know you didn't deal with that. I'm like I did and I Suppressed a lot of that and inside of me now that I am facing it and I'm going through it.

Speaker 2:

I Would love for you to do artwork on me and just to see where I'm at, what, what colors would resonate with you that you would feel onto me, because now I'm able to look at my body in the bear and know that it's beautiful, even though it's not perfect in my eyes. I don't know what perfect is right, but I know that it's beautiful as it is right now. And through my transformation, I Just became very, very in tune with my mind and my body. And so now, because my mind feels a certain way about my body, it looks healthier, it feels healthier and I just walk around, even feeling more confidence within myself.

Speaker 2:

And one thing that I kind of like want to bring up is women tend to be a little bit more more by nature, we're able to connect a little bit more than men. When it becomes a vulnerability and knowing that you're doing this artwork and also men, what have you seen to be the biggest difference between when a man sees himself and a woman sees herself? Or do you even do see a difference Within them? Because for a man to do this to me, it's so beautiful yeah, I don't want to connect with themselves. It's so empowering.

Speaker 1:

So I love that you asked me this question, because I actually recorded a solo episode that's coming out on my podcast in November About an experience, actually, that I had with a man and what happened afterwards. But there is definitely a difference. When men come, the energy is different, that's all. It's not better or good. It's not a comparison like that. It's just discernibly different. The energy is so different Before I even go there.

Speaker 1:

What I want to say, though, is there is a commonality with every single person that comes into the space. The space itself, if you can imagine like Stepping into a portal or stepping it into a container True colors is literally a portal of unconditional love, no judgment. You're fully seen, you're fully accepted. You might not believe that, but that's the energy of the space that's been created with true colors, and I just didn't do that on my own. I mean, I was the channel for allowing that to come through me, but it's really between that me and the person that creates that.

Speaker 1:

So when men come, it's so different, I believe, because the masculine energy we have both. We have both masculine, feminine, but the masculine energy that gets to unite With the feminine energy when a lot of their lives, men have been fed different beliefs Around. What it needs to be a man, like you were saying, like vulnerability is weakness. It's actually not okay to show your feelings, even though they are two emotional beings, and so when a man comes into the space, the energy is so profound it it just truly is. It's like a Recognition and an acknowledgement. You can actually feel that what they're doing, what they're choosing and willing to step into, is having a ripple effect for all Other men and you know what, when it happens for all their men, guess where it back goes to all women as well, because every single woman has been affected by this and every single man has been affected by this.

Speaker 1:

And I don't mean to go gender-specific, but in my personal experience, this is what has come into my space. But beyond gender, beyond gender, even Really in the, in the universal Subconscious mind, this innate intelligence doesn't call it male or female. There's no separation. It's this complete, unified field of love and again, it's just one of those things you have to experience. But it's definitely noticeably different when men come and it's so beautiful and you can call it that. I think calling men beautiful is actually so powerful and it takes a different level, I think of courage and bravery for men to be that vulnerable it really does, and that's why it's so beautiful.

Speaker 2:

It's so empowering because it's not something that society would consider something normal for men to do. Yeah, that's. The thing is that they are programmed to believe that's not normal. But courage comes from being vulnerable and that's the beauty of it being able to connect with yourself. And I honestly feel that when they're able to connect that deeply with themselves, the love that they start accepting for themselves, it's so powerful, something that they probably for so long were so afraid to feel. Yeah, they didn't know what it was to feel that. And now that they are able to feel safe and know that I Could be vulnerable and not be judged, it's so invigorating for them. Yeah, so much lift from them like I Can't imagine.

Speaker 2:

I'm not a man, but I could imagine just everything that they hold inside, thinking that they need to fit this way in order to be accepted by society. Because for us is our looks right, yeah, and that's really hard. And for them is who they are, what do they provide, how much they make. You know, it's like a lot even more profound, and I I wouldn't want to imagine, I don't know, because I love being able to love, I love being able to be Vulnerable, I love that I'm able to connect with myself and know that that's my power, because my emotions make me me where they feel like I can't be emotional. If I'm emotional, I I'm weak. If I cry I'm weak, you're not. By you crying, you're acknowledging what you're feeling. By you showing your emotions, you're showing your human and that is what we're here to do. You know. It's connection is what us humans are made for.

Speaker 1:

Exactly, exactly, and it takes a level of vulnerability To bridge this. This connection piece one of the poems I wrote and maybe I'll end up reading it, I don't know. It's called read it.

Speaker 1:

But it's called the broken man and I actually got it professionally recorded and I'm gonna launch it on my podcast and I think I really want to. I mean, I have so many stories when it comes to men, by the dad I was raised by, by the you know Abusive relationships I've been in, I've been victimized. But I've also seen the other side of it and I've had kind of this 360 degree experience of seeing men in like what they would consider their brokenness and Also seeing men in their fullness and that their brokenness wasn't really that, it was just the things breaking away that weren't really them to begin with, mm-hmm, and then coming back into the freedom of Getting to be who they are and I think with men and I've had lots of conversations with men that's what men want the most. They want to be free.

Speaker 2:

I think that's so beautiful, and the reason why is because a lot of people don't understand. It's really hard for them to grasp how I Don't dislike men. I Don't and, yes, I've been a survivor of abuse, I've been in a narcissistic relationship, but the thing is that I know that men are also, some of them still in a victim mode Of what they went through and it's really hard for them to get out of that situation because it's so hard for them to become Intune with themselves and vulnerable with themselves. That has nothing to do with me and I have come to appreciate that, just as as women go through things, men as well. And when I see Men being able to talk to me about how they feel and what they're going through, I Know that it takes them much more effort To come out of that shell that they've been in for so long. And being able to express their vulnerability to me and to me, it makes me so happy because I could see them light up and I Think, men just as women, we need to all light up because if we all work together, yeah, it would be just a much more beautiful world. So I do not hate men. I come to understand more To accept certain things.

Speaker 2:

Yes, it is your choice to not heal. Is your choice to still continue to do what you do? That's not acceptable. You know not to choice. But I also I'm very empathetic and I empathize with what you're going through. But now I'm in a space where, yes, I'm able to empathize with you, but I'm also to protect my energy until you find your space that you need to be able to recognize what you need for yourself. That's the biggest power that we could have for ourselves to say I'm not that, I'm not that person, I'm not what they say they are, I'm not what the society says. I need to be. I am me and it is time for me to come out. That's why I'm like. We are all healing creatures. We all are imperfect, we all make mistakes. Now, what are we gonna do? How are we gonna learn from it?

Speaker 2:

And that's where our power comes is from learning from it and gaining our wisdom you know, and it's such a beautiful feeling because there's no room for hate, there's only room for love, and love is the only way that we could come to connection, come to understanding, by understanding we are loving. We don't love without understanding. It's impossible, because then you can't connect with that person.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and understanding opens the heart because it develops compassion. And we don't necessarily always have to understand, like to the degree of why people do what they do, but we can understand that even from afar. We can understand that everybody has some sort of trauma. Everybody has some conditioning and programming from their childhood. Everybody has their own unique perception of themselves in the world, and I mean just understanding that we could walk through the world way more open and willing to Accept one another and not judge one another.

Speaker 2:

Exactly, and that helps us as well, because then we're able to not personalize things. Yes, but it's not about us, that's right, yeah, and that's the beauty of it, you know, not personalizing things. And then you don't have, like this defense mechanism all the time, which is so draining, defensive mode. It's so draining and I love my energy, so I love to protect my energy. So, although I'm understanding, I will always protect my energy, but I will be there to listen to you. It's the beauty of it. It's you having that self-compassion. You have to have it for yourself in order to know that you are worthy of the best and you have to believe it. You have to believe it. We could tell you, but if you don't believe it, there's only so much. I love that your Artwork has resonated with everybody and it's just. I could see you glowing and it makes you so happy that I could feel your energy on me and I'm just like. So I'm very great being like I can, and I can't explain it, you know, it's so beautiful.

Speaker 2:

I wanted to talk about your book too, and you don't talk about that a lot. No, I don't so big. So her book is called all she need is love. The love you are seeking is within and it's on Amazon. So you guys want to go buy it? It's on Amazon, yes, tell us.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, there's a reason why I don't talk about it a lot. Actually, it's been a process. It's been three years now and I didn't realize at first what was happening. But this book is the most raw and vulnerable parts of me. It is Curated from those times that I was able to sit with myself in the most painful, darkest moments and write about it, and it's also those times when I was able to sit with myself and receive wisdom and insight and new perspective. So it's both it's light and dark, and Super vulnerable, like I didn't hide anything. And I think what happened After I wrote the book and I published the book now, looking back, I understand a little bit more.

Speaker 1:

My nervous system Couldn't help it. It couldn't handle the exposure and the vulnerability of me actually Allowing other people to read this. It was like now, my energy and my vulnerability and that exposure was in on other people's hands and I had no control over it. And and there's a few things in here, one particularly that I wrote about money and I mean now I'm still lean. I can feel like buzzing through my body when I say this, but I learned this exercise To write a letter to money and have them money write a letter back to you and I think we all have things around money like. We all have our own belief systems and issues when it comes to money and it's such a hot topic. But I really just sat down one day and Hurged onto a paper and I let whatever was inside of me come out around money. And what happened after the book was out? Then my ego went what did you do, amy? Why did you put that in your book? And I it's almost like I couldn't turn that off, that part of me that wanted to keep me safe and Protected and not exposed in that way, because there was no going back after that. I mean, it's, it's in the book.

Speaker 1:

My nervous system just Took a toll and it took me a while to realize that that's what was happening, that and I put one other thing about my dad, that Conversation that we actually had when he was talking about is any man ever gonna live up to your expectations? Because I've been single for a while and with my journey, not my expectations, but my Vision of the partner that I wanted for me became clear, really clear, because I'm no longer married, and I think that's what happens when we transform and become a better version of ourselves Is we get really clear on what we want. And so I wasn't willing to settle. I dated men.

Speaker 1:

I had a couple little bit longer relationships in the last 10 years, but there wasn't ever anything where I knew in my heart that this was it. And so I had a conversation with my dad one day and those are the words I love my dad. Dad, if you're listening, I love you. I know he just wants the best for me, but in the moment when he said that to me, is any man ever I don't think any man's ever gonna live up to your expectations, amy I Got triggered. That really hurt me and I started to doubt. I Started to doubt what I wanted. I started to doubt what my heart desired and knew what was what I was deserving of and worthy of in a relationship, because I never felt safe with a man before in my life. And so those two things, having those two things in the book fully exposed, it's taken me a little bit to integrate that in process, like three years.

Speaker 2:

So yeah, I'm sharing that I think it's important that you're able to also share your parts of your vulnerability with people you know, to let them know that, although we're in this healing process and journey, we're not perfect. We're always healing.

Speaker 1:

Can I say one more thing, just to come back to the intention of the book. That was my intention to begin with because self expression has been one of the most healing medicines self healing medicines that I've been able to generate for myself, and the reason I published this book was to invite people into their perfect self expression, which is often very imperfect, giving yourself permission to say how you feel, to write how you feel, to get it all out, because we generally suppress a lot. So in the middle of the book is even like 10 blank pages with questions, so that you can just self express.

Speaker 2:

I love that. You know, a lot of times we're not able to truly express what we think because we hold ourselves back from what are others going to think? How are others going to see me? That shame right. And so I know that me doing this podcast is something that I've had to work with, with myself too is using my voice and expressing myself, and sometimes I do see myself still holding back. So that's something that I'm still working on within myself of not worrying what others may think when I say something or how others may respond when I say something, because this is my life, this is what I went through, this is me when.

Speaker 2:

Who are you to judge what I went through? You didn't go through it. I did, and for me, accepting that as me being okay, I'm going to reach the right people. I feel by you doing your book, you have reached the right people who have needed to hear what you went through, getting their aha moments when they're reading your book and you're like, wow, I didn't think of it this way, or I didn't see it this way, because a lot of people they're not able to yet speak up for themselves, so they hold their voice within, but by what you went through your healing journey.

Speaker 2:

Now you're able to provide that, to heal others, and you're able to do it by your book. You're able to do it by your art, that you represent others, and that's beautiful. Not a lot of people are able to do that and have that within them, so thank you for sharing that. You know there's a YouTube channel that you have, and something that really resonated with me when I heard it and I think it's something that's really powerful that I would like you to talk about is you were talking about the laws of assumption, and a lot of times when people talk about assumption or assuming, and I think of something negative, but you actually converted that into something very positive and I thought it was really beautiful and I wanted you to talk about it because a lot of people don't see it in that way and I think, when it comes to manifestation and aligning with your divine self and creating the life that you want for yourself, I think the laws of assumption is something that we should integrate.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, thank you. I can't take credit for the law of assumption. I first heard it from Neville Goddard, who is an incredible, wise, mystical teacher who is no longer gracing us in the physical world, but his teachings are eternal, and I've had a lot of revelation around assumption. There is a negative connotation when we jump to a conclusion that might not be true when it comes to usually other people. The law of assumption, however, is literally as simple as this assuming that you were already the person that you want to be. So if you're wanting to manifest something, let's say more money we were just talking about money, so more money Well, you have to assume that you're already that person who is able to have that money. And what that does is it closes the gap between who you are right now and who that version of you is, because there's a reason why you don't have it, and it's usually an identity problem. It's how you see yourself, based on limiting beliefs that are all behind you, that are all created from your past. Right, and we tend to gravitate to what's familiar, even if it's not what we want. If we want change, we have to step into something unfamiliar.

Speaker 1:

So it's as simple as literally closing your eyes and visualizing well, what would it be like if you had that money? Like what would it give you? What would it provide you? So, for example me, I mean everybody wants more money, myself included, I know for me, more money would provide me to be able to serve at a greater capacity, because I have so many ideas and visions and dreams that I want to bring to life that I know will employ people, that I will create like this ripple of inspiration and empowerment, and that money coming in is just a means, a way of doing that.

Speaker 1:

So to assume that I'm already that person, then I have to viscerally create what would that feel like? How would I be acting every day? What would I be doing? What kind of conversations would I be having? And then the law of assumption is, if I am already that, then my behaviors every day and what I do every day has to be in alignment with that. Otherwise we fall back into the old, the old story. It takes practice. I'm not saying it's easy, it's simple, but it definitely takes practice.

Speaker 2:

Well, nothing in life is easy. The greatest things that we want to happen to ourselves. We have to go through like trials and tribulations to get there. It's not easy. You have to be uncomfortable until you are able to be comfortable again, and that's why people align themselves with what it's familiar, because that's still within their comfort zone, even if it's not, it's best for them. It is what they're familiar with and what you just said we're programmed to believe. Well, we grew up with seeing what people told us. So in order to gain your power, in order to gain what you are so worthy of, you have to become uncomfortable, because nothing's going to be given to you or handed to. You have to work towards it, and that's the thing People want, this instant gratification. Oh, you know I'm going to instantly get this. No, you have to still work towards it. It's just how you provide that work towards in yourself that matters. I love that. Assume that you are already living that life.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and you're the version of that person already now. I remember being I'm just going to say this, vivi, because this helps simplify it a little bit I remember being in my kitchen one day and I believe whenever we learn something new or we hear a new concept, it takes some time for it to really like deeply integrate into our being and we can hear it from a different place, in a different way, and then all of a sudden it just hits you differently. When I was in my kitchen just making I think I was making a smoothie, and all of a sudden I was like, assume, I am that here. And I started saying out loud, in this sweater, in these pants, in this kitchen, not in some other place, now, like in this moment, now, as I was, I am that person and I could actually feel the energy and the vibration and the frequency completely change around me.

Speaker 1:

Because the thing is, we are way more powerful than we think we are and we were given the power of imagination, the power of assuming and the power of acting it out. When we were kids, we did this all the time. We let our imagination take us on this magic fairytale ride and we stopped doing that as adults. But that's how we create. That's actually how we create through our imagination, through feeling like it's real, because it makes us feel good, and then we let it go.

Speaker 2:

I love that, oh my God. I love that so much Because when I see my nieces and nephews who are younger than me obviously they're younger than me I mean the youngest ones, that's what I mean, the youngest ones in the family and I see them enjoying life without fear. I love it Because they have no worries, they're just enjoying life. And as we become adults, we start instilling fear in ourselves, fear of self-doubt.

Speaker 2:

Fear of or not worthy of attaining that, and we are. But, like you say, we have to believe it in ourselves, we have to already be living that life and then it will come to us. So assume you're already living that life, that you already have that, and it will come to you because you're believing it, you're feeling it, you know it, you're not doubting it at all.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, neville Goddard says the feeling is the secret. Because anything that we want to manifest, it's the feeling that we want to manifest, not the thing I mean. The result is just like the cherry on top of the cake or on top of the ice cream sundae, whatever your problem says, do you know what I mean? But it's the feeling. It's the feeling of I accomplished that, or the feeling and the exhilaration of joy. That's why we want the thing.

Speaker 2:

It just have, like when I manifest, I feel it, and when I feel it, there's moments where I cry and there's moments where I just have this huge mile on my face because I know it's there. Yeah, I know it, I know it, I'm not questioning it. I don't know when it's going to come to me, but I know it's going to come to me because I feel it.

Speaker 1:

Exactly, and that's all you need to be faithful to. Is the feeling, without it being here yet, correct? Yeah?

Speaker 2:

Well, I know you want to end with a poem and I want you to end it with a poem, whatever poem resonates to you that you would like to express don't hold yourself back.

Speaker 1:

Well, I don't know if I should do intimacy or broken man. They're literally on both, like ones on one page and the broken man's on the next page, but I also have that coming out on my podcast. It really doesn't matter, but I would love for people to go to my podcast and listen to that eventually.

Speaker 2:

Let them to connect with you on your podcast as well.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Maybe I'll do intimacy then which is actually titled.

Speaker 1:

Into Me, see, I heard that once and I do believe that's the correct way of understanding intimacy. Into me, see, okay, I will actually invite you to close your eyes, take a deep breath and, for all the listeners, as long as you're not driving, do the same. Allow yourself to drop into your heart, being open to receiving how your soul wants to receive this in this moment. Into me, see. Ravish me with your broken pieces, the ones left in the whips, the ones left in the veils behind your smile. Seduce me with your vulnerability. Captivate me with your raw words that have been trapped in your veins of stories raging to the surface. Induce me with your darkness so I may transport it with my light. Satisfy me with your fear of plunging deep down into the treading waters containing your desires.

Speaker 1:

Hold me in your breath. Hypnotize me with your touch so I can feel God in every cell of my body. Entice me as you let go so I may find myself in the empty void of your love. Fascinate my tongue to taste your tears that have been percolating in your lungs. Transport me into the galaxies of wounds that make you human. Delight me with your spark, leaving burn marks on my skin so I may embody your sacredness. Destroy me with your authenticity, leaving me with nothing but what I truly am. Mold me with your tenderness. Mark me with every scar left behind so I can come to understand the walls that were built in your heart. Melt me with your integrity. Reveal to me you, from your soul to your brain. Open your eyes.

Speaker 2:

Well, it's so beautiful. That is so beautiful to love ourselves completely and nothing less, even through our darkness, to see all that as our power, because we need to see everything we've been through and create that into something positive.

Speaker 1:

You understood that poem so well.

Speaker 2:

Such a beautiful journey to do that it is because now I'm able to accept everything I went through and know that it happened for me. Yeah, I am right now and I love being able to do this with you. You are just such an amazing light and human being that. So don't forget to also connect to Amy's podcast. She is amazing and she has so much abundance to bring to you.

Speaker 1:

I love that, vivi, thank you for having me. Yeah, love you so much, vivi Me too.

Speaker 2:

This was a pleasure. It's going to get bigger and bigger. I know it, I feel it.

Speaker 1:

You're incredible and amazing and you just keep doing this.

Speaker 2:

So are you, and I will go to Canada. Yes, I will. I have a bigger purpose on why I need to go to Canada. Wonderful.

Speaker 1:

All righty.

Speaker 2:

Thank you. Thank you. Have a blessed day you too. I love you oh.