Self-Worth Revolution: Tips for your Transformational Journey

Embracing Transformation: Katrina Silva's Journey of Self-Love, Weight Loss, and Empowerment

• Vivian Medrano • Season 1 • Episode 11

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When Katrina Silva stepped into the studio, she brought with her a story that's both profoundly personal and universally resonant—a tale of shedding the weight of an unfulfilled marriage and stepping into a life where every day feels like unwrapping a gift. Join us as we journey alongside Katrina, whose transformation transcends the physical, losing 80 pounds and gaining a newfound appreciation for life's daily joys. Her narrative is not just her own; it's a beacon for anyone seeking to turn a page and discover the beauty in their own story of growth and empowerment.

Throughout our conversation, Katrina illuminates the pivotal role of self-love in fostering positive change. She shares the strategies that have not only reshaped her own life but also the lives of those around her—including her children. As we explore the challenges and triumphs of co-parenting post-divorce, Katrina offers invaluable insights on creating a supportive environment where children can thrive amidst change. Her wisdom extends to all parents, assuring them that while the journey of divorce and transformation is arduous, there is a wealth of support available to guide families through these transitions.

As the episode concludes, Katrina leaves us with a powerful reflection on the essence of self-growth. She invites listeners to embrace their own journey, highlighting the transformative power of journaling and self-reflection in recognizing one's worth. Katrina's compelling story is a reminder that each step, no matter how small, contributes to the tapestry of our lives. Embrace the fluidity of life with us, and let Katrina's voice be a reminder that you are enough, you matter, and you are loved.

Katrina's is a woman to connect with. She will bring you insight on the beauty of living a fulfilled life. Attached is the link to her podcast and instagram acct.

Podcast: Kat Mindset: Harness Your Power Within https://open.spotify.com/show/413GPcHzu8OFgZBy9rAV33?si=fb05e38b0e2548aa
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/kat-mindset-harness-your-power-within/id1711326485
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Disclaimer:
The "The Self Worth Revolution" Podcast may, at times, cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics. Neither The Company, The Host nor the guests shall at any time be liable for the content covered causing off...

Speaker 1:

So it's just, it's an amazing journey and it's not a destination. So every single day it's fluid and we just keep growing every single day and I love it.

Speaker 2:

It is a beautiful thing, because a lot of people think that this journey will end someday. Right, right, the beauty of it is that this journey is everlasting. We're always learning about ourselves, like every single day. Even if it's something that triggers us, we learn how to adapt to it, we learn how to respond to it. Our body, we're able to keep it in a place where we're more in peace with ourselves and with how we respond to things that do not align with us.

Speaker 2:

And so that's the beauty, because it's a process, and if you value this process that you're going through, then you only value the growth that it comes with. It's even more, and so that's amazing, that you're able to just give inspiration to women just by you deciding to get up every morning, regardless of how hard it could have been for you, you made that huge decision, and walking, as simple as it may, be, made such an impact on other women to say, hey, if it's just that simple for me to get up, let me do it. And it's not that the simplicity of getting up, no, it's that you're doing something for yourself. Yes, that simplicity turns into something bigger.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

Self love.

Speaker 1:

It's, it's huge, and why it takes people so long to realize that self love is not a selfish act. It is the opposite of selfish, because when you pour into yourself and you make your cup overflow, all that extra goes out to other people, so you're always full, you're not depleting yourself for someone else. And it took me 47, almost 47. I was just too much shy of being 47 years to realize that. And my goal in life is to empower other people, not just women, other people to make themselves the best version of themselves every single day. So I am just so humbled by the fact that I have the ability to talk to other people, and if I touch one or two people, then I've already exceeded my expectations.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to the self worth revolution podcast hosted by Vivian Medrano. I am not only a podcaster, but a mother, a nurse, a life coach and a survivor. This podcast is about turning your pain into your power, your experiences into your lessons and to start living a life full of abundance, inner peace and fulfillment. My higher purpose of for my listeners to find their self worth and their value by following their path to greatness. We are all deserving of living our best lives. It is time to stop identifying with our past. Start living in the present for a better future. This podcast will have guest speakers that will share their stories of how they transformed their lives and found their worth.

Speaker 2:

My mission is to let my listeners know this is your time to shine, to know that you are not alone. Healing is empowering. It takes courage to be vulnerable and our voices have power. Hold on to your lives, because this will be an incredible ride of self transformation, self empowerment and radical change. It is time for us to take our power back. Welcome to the self worth revolution podcast. I am here with Katrina Silva. She has her own podcast called the cat mindset, where she shares valuable tips about life and also her life's journey. And without further ado, I would like Katrina to introduce herself. Hi, everybody, welcome.

Speaker 1:

How are you?

Speaker 2:

Good, how are you?

Speaker 1:

Good, thank you. Thanks for having me on, for being here. Thank you, I actually am here. Vivian and me we met and we just connected and our stories are so similar and yet so different. So it was just an amazing connection and I'm so glad that 23 has brought this about and I'm looking forward to our conversation.

Speaker 2:

Great, thank you. So tell us a little bit about yourself. What is what brightens your day? What makes you get up in the morning and know, oh my God, this is just going to be an amazing day for me today.

Speaker 1:

Well, I have to say it all started at the beginning of January where the light bulb went off and I realized I no longer need to be with my husband of 28 and a half years. It was done. We have four kids and life turned where he didn't even seem to care and I threw my arms up at the air and said 23 is for me. So every single day I learned to wake up like it was Christmas morning and the whole day was a present rate in front of me which is waiting to be unwrapped, and I had no idea what was inside that box for that day. So I go out, I just go about my business and it's just amazing who I run into, who impacts me and who I impact every single day.

Speaker 2:

So what would you say? Because we all impact people in a very different way journey, what would you say, has been your biggest thing that has touched you so deeply that somebody has mentioned to you that you've created such a powerful change within their lives from seeing you grow.

Speaker 1:

I do believe a few things have happened that have made me feel like I have motivated someone to change their life around. I started walking and listening to more podcasts and just growing, and a company started following me with my walking journey and then, all of a sudden, 3.1 million women saw a video they created with me. In it and I was recognized as I was walking the streets in a city that's 2 hours away from me and they said listen, I just needed to walk and you've helped me with my mental, physical and emotional health. And I was blown away that one person would come up to me and say your walking has impacted me. And then, as we started talking, we just started feeding off of each other and we realized how much my voice and my motivation helps them, and it's just been growing ever since. So it's just, it's an amazing journey and it's not a destination. So every single day it's fluid and we just keep growing every single day and I love it.

Speaker 2:

It is a beautiful thing, because a lot of people think that this journey will end someday.

Speaker 2:

Right, the beauty of it is that this journey is everlasting. We're always learning about ourselves, like every single day. Even if it's something that triggers us, we learn how to adapt to it, we learn how to respond to it. Our body, we're able to keep it in a place where we're more in peace with ourselves and with how we respond to things that do not align with us. And so that's the beauty, because it's a process, and if you value this process that you're going through, then you only value the growth that it comes with. It's even more and so that's amazing that you're able to just give inspiration to women just by you deciding to get up every morning, regardless of how hard it could have been for you, you made that huge decision, and walking, as simple as it may, be, made such an impact on other women to say, hey, if it's just that simple for me to get up, let me do it. It's not that the simplicity of getting up, no, it's that you're doing something for yourself, yes, so then that simplicity turns into something bigger.

Speaker 1:

Yes, self-love, it's huge, and why it takes people so long to realize that self-love is not a selfish act. It is the opposite of selfish, because when you pour into yourself and you make your cup overflow, all that extra goes out to other people, so you're always full, you're not depleting yourself for someone else. And it took me 47, almost 47. I was just two months shy of being 47 years to realize that, and my goal in life is to empower other people, not just women, other people to make themselves the best version of themselves every single day. So I am just so humbled by the fact that I have the ability to talk to other people, and if I touch one or two people, then I've already exceeded my expectations. So I just love every second of it.

Speaker 2:

It's a wonderful thing because our story makes an impact on others, and that in itself is so powerful because it lets others know that their story also matters.

Speaker 1:

And they matter.

Speaker 2:

And a lot of times, when people see others go through the same thing and that they're not feeling shame for it anymore, then they start feeling like there's no reason for me to feel shame for it either, because they're not alone in this. It happens and, just like you said, it's empowering everybody. It's not just empowering women, but it's empowering the human connection. It's like just making us connected in a way where men and women can live together and understand one another and feel safe to be vulnerable with one another. And that's the hard part. People have lost that ability to be vulnerable with one another because of what others may think about how others may react, whether they're going to be placed, people are going to place judgment on them, and it's like it's no. It is time for you to step into that uncomfortable zone and realize that there's so much greatness for you. You're the one holding yourself back, but once you move forward, you're going to realize there's so many people in that same place that you are in life, ready to open up.

Speaker 1:

Yes, there's, there's. I mean pain is a necessary evil. I mean, I think pain can throw you into the pits of you know, hell, but it can also make you rise to greatness because, to think about, you have already today, you have already surpassed all of your worst days possible to be where you are today. And if the stuff that you had happened to you didn't happen, you wouldn't be who you are today. And trust me, my life has not been a fairy tale at all and I don't think anyone really has had a fairy tale life.

Speaker 1:

There's always something you know in the closet that maybe you have forgotten about. But if you don't express your emotions and your feelings in sometimes you know, unhealthy but it should be more healthy ways than they are just going to suppress them. So you need to express your emotions because that helps you grow as a person, and if you don't water and sun yourself, you're not going to grow. We're like plants. You know we need, we need that, we need to be talked to, we need to be acknowledged. I mean, I don't know about you, but sometimes, when I was in a deep depression, I would walk into a grocery store and those automatic doors wouldn't open. I was like oh my God, technology doesn't see me either. What's going on here?

Speaker 1:

And it's very disheartening. You just got to, like, learn how to. I don't want to say snap out of it, because it's not snap out of it, you just have to learn how to grow. I mean I made micro goals, then I made mini goals, and then I made and I rewarded myself when I got to them. So I mean I'm not setting up five years from now.

Speaker 1:

Nine and a half months ago was when I started my journey of walking. I mean I could have had a baby in nine and a half months, but instead I lost an 80 pound baby, you know, and gained and gained so much mental clarity and emotional and just being able to smile at people and be genuine and people see that. You know, it's just an amazing feeling to know that in nine and a half months I could have had a baby, but instead, in nine and a half months I'm a new me and every day it's not stopping, you know, every day is growth and it's the opportunity to harness the ability to get up out of bed to breathe. There's so many people who have died today, but you're alive, you know.

Speaker 2:

Enjoy life and breathing. Yes, yes. So the walk that you did, that you're encouraging other women through your walking and I know there's going to probably be other women and men who would want to connect with you going through the same things that you've been through. Is there a name to it?

Speaker 1:

Well, on my podcast I just talk about it, and I don't always talk about that. I talk about things that may have happened that day, my present, that unwrapped, and how it connects to other people's lives. It's just called cat mindset and it's how it's harness your power within. So it's on Spotify, iheartradio, amazon, apple podcast and I just talk about that. But the walking is just me walking and listening to a podcast. I did start following a company and then I kind of just went off on my own. But 10,000 steps is my minimum for a day. I do not power walk, I do it for enjoyment. I listen my AirPods are my friend. I, you know, I listen to your things on Facebook that you go ahead and post. I listen to other people's. I get inspiration from other people. So it's just I listen to music. I love Shakira.

Speaker 1:

So I love dancing and music, but that's on my podcast is where I feel, by sharing that with others, it can just meet the masses without people having to sit in an auditorium and listen to me speak.

Speaker 2:

Tell us a little bit more about your podcast, Like tell us, why did you start this podcast?

Speaker 1:

Well, in July I started the podcast because I've kept running into people and just speaking to them and we've connected and they're like you should be on stage. And I'm like I would love to be on stage, but how can I be on stage for the whole country at one time? So I decided Spotify, why not? Why not take the journey and the leap and see what happens? So it was July 11th and I just started talking and it was all short.

Speaker 1:

All of them are very abbreviated, like 15 minutes or less. I think there's one that's 30 minutes, but it was a very in-depth conversation and some ideas and thoughts that were going through my head. But that is. I've done 30 podcasts and 30 is my number because my birthday is March 30th. So I'm all about numbers. No, and I've hit, I think it's like 1800 people just have seen it alone on Spotify, which doesn't sound like a huge amount, but to me I'm like 1800, I'm a numbers person. So with sales, I'm like if I've reached 1800 people, then maybe one or two of them have heard it and it resonated with them and I empowered somebody to believe in themselves and know that they are worth it, no matter what season of life they happen to be in at the moment.

Speaker 2:

And that's true. It's like everything that happens in our lives happens for a purpose. And it's also acknowledging that our hardships, our struggles, even our trauma, was given to us for a purpose. And that's the hardest part is for us to accept that. Because a lot of times we're in victim mode and we're like well, why me? Why did this happen to me? It's another person's fault, it's not my fault, I'm not that person. Why me? And it's not that, it's that it happened to you. Because in order for you to gain your value, to gain your worth and truly understand your worth and your value, you have to go through hardships. Yes, and now it's. How do you convert this hardship that you went through? How do you convert that pain to be your empowerment, to be your growth, to changes, to not look at it as something negative but to look at it as a positive light.

Speaker 1:

It takes time. It really takes time, and it takes books and podcasts and people and life and TV and movies and songs all for you to be like whoa. Hold on a second and then look back in the past and be like whoa. How did I not see all those red flags? How did I not realize that that was not my purpose in life? I was not in a place that I belonged and that was the hardest part for me from being with the same person for 24 years. At the time when I took his phone to him simple phone he left it sitting in the car and I grabbed his phone to take it to him and at that same exact moment, his administrative assistant texted him. My world blew up and I've never looked at a phone. But at that moment I didn't know my up from down, my left from right. I managed to stay calm, but my head was a super highway, you know.

Speaker 1:

And four years and four months later I got a tattoo on my arm to remind myself of how far I've grown and how much purpose there is in the pain I was going through. So I'm not unique. My story is unique, but I'm not unique in the fact that I've gone through pain. You know I am a survivor because I have grown from that. You know geode. I mean I don't know if you know about geodes those rocks that are ugly and gross on the outside, but when you crack it open it's gorgeous, it's amazing. And it takes so much time for it to get like that. And no matter if you've been with the person for a year, a month, you know, you just have to kind of keep your eyes open and just look, but the pain is always there.

Speaker 1:

I don't think a person who's been with someone for 50 years is in more pain than someone who's been with someone for 10 years.

Speaker 1:

I think pain is pain and everyone has their story, so you can't even compare, but it was life altering and four years worth of growth and mindset changing and just so many people and things come into your life that are there for a purpose. Your path is already paved for you. You just don't know how it's gonna end up. And that's the great thing about waking up every morning. It's a present. It's Christmas morning and I don't jump out of bed like a little elf and run downstairs, but I know that when I walk out of the house or when I go have my cup of coffee or I open up Facebook, or whatever I'm on, I'm gonna see something that's gonna impact my day, my life, and I try to dissect it to be like, oh, all right, and then I just have to let it go and see how the day goes and it's just, it's exciting every single day every day it is, and I love how you mentioned time.

Speaker 2:

A lot of people out there feel that, oh well, they had it worse because they were with them longer. Oh, they don't have it as bad because they were only with them a year, a couple of months. The severity of the emotional and mental abuse that you go through it's not measured by how long you're with a person. The reason why is because this is your abuse that you went through. This is your trauma that you went through, and you should never undermine what you went through and compare it to somebody who was with them longer. The reason why is because then you're undermining what you went through and you should never, ever do that. You should acknowledge what it is that you went through, how it made you feel because that is validation to you and to yourself that you're not worthy of that and that means you feel this way and it shouldn't make you feel this way. Nobody has a right to mistreat you Nobody does.

Speaker 2:

And it doesn't matter whether you don't see things eye to eye or whether you have a difference of opinion. At the end of the day, it's called respect and it's important that you acknowledge that you're worthy of respect and you're worthy of being free to be who you are and being respected to be free to be who you are. And so a lot of times we hold ourselves in these relationships. In the reason that we do hold ourselves in these relationships and I'm gonna say it and I haven't said it, but in a narcissistic relationship it's because we see the potential in the person. We see the person for who they presented to themselves in the beginning to be who they are. And once the mess comes off and you see them for who they truly are, you still wanna see the person that you fell in love with. But the reality of the matter is that the person you fell in love with is not that person. That is.

Speaker 2:

And it's hard because you have to accept that and it's important for our listeners to know that you don't need to put a timeframe to it. Everybody copes with it differently and it is your own time and you're going to do it at your own pace. But what I want them to realize through this is they're so worthy and deserving of the best and their body is telling them that something feels unsafe. Yes, they need to listen to their body, which I know because I was there. I didn't listen to my body. I ignored all the red flags for two years because I saw the potential in the person that I thought they could be, because I saw the person that they were in the beginning. Yes, and that's the hardest part, it's accepting a person behind the mask.

Speaker 1:

Very true. I recall a conversation that was had soon after I found out, in 2019. And it was in my kitchen and my now ex-husband said to me I'm afraid you're not going to like the person I am, and I remember that. I remember that statement and now, in 2023, as I look back, I'm like oh my, I mean, I filed for divorce April 5th 2023. In Indiana, there's a 60 day wait from when you file to when it can be permanent, and June 5th by lunchtime I was divorced. So it was exactly 60 days, and I remember it wasn't a struggle to choose to get divorced.

Speaker 1:

I came to terms with it because, as I started peeling the layers of the onion off and realizing who he really was he wasn't serving his purpose in my life my frequency changed and I realized that my frequency was up here and his was down here, and then we can't meet because we're not on the same frequency. We need to be working together on the same and we weren't. So not that my frequency is better than his, just that they were not the same. So, even though we were together for so long and we had four children together, that was my biggest struggle was making sure that my kids would be emotionally, physically and mentally OK, and I feel that I'm doing a great job at that and making sure that I am there in their corner. But I know, no matter what I did to try to change him, you can't change somebody else. They have to change themselves. So as I grew, my eyes were opened more and more and I was like, oh my gosh. I mean, granted, I can't read words that are right in front of my face, but my eyes were open and I was like I don't even understand how I stayed for those four years. But I know that there was a purpose in every single thing, every single tear that went down my eye, every single anxiety attack that I've never had in my entire life.

Speaker 1:

I've had them in the last four years, walking around just doing everyday stuff and then having to go throw up, because your mind and your body keeps the score, without you even realizing it. It is inside you and if you don't listen to your body, you're just pushing it down and suppressing your pain. And if you keep suppressing it, it's going to express one way or another, and probably not in a very healthy way. But the 80 pounds that I have lost since January has zero to do with stress and people are like you've lost all this weight. Are you stressed? And I'm like no, I'm the opposite of stressed. I feel at peace in my decision. It took me a while to get to it, but I am doing things for myself because, to be the best version of me that there is, I need to work on myself, and that's what's so important and that I think a lot of people need to understand.

Speaker 2:

What was the hardest thing that held you back from starting this journey of transformation and healing that you could remember?

Speaker 1:

The hardest thing that held me back was my kids. I saw the pain in their eyes because they knew what happened. They knew that my ex was making poor choices with another human that was causing extreme problems and he was not focused on the family like he should have been. So I saw the pain in my kids' eyes. I have kids right now. They're 20, 17, 11, and 8. So if you can imagine four years ago, two kids that are teenagers and then two kids that are very young who don't really understand, and all I can do was hold them and try to just go about life the right way in front of them and then, at night, cry in my closet or go take a drive in my car and scream at the top of my lungs or listen to a song that I just needed to scream. I mean, greatest showman, this is me. I scream it because I'm like this is just how I dealt with it and it was hard, but that was my biggest. Yeah, that was. What I stayed for so long was because of them.

Speaker 2:

What would you say to the parents out there who stay because they have children? What advice would you give to them?

Speaker 1:

My advice would be do you want your kids to see a healthy, sane parent, or too unhealthy, not good for themselves? Parents, and it's hard because each kid is at their own. I mean it depends on how old the kids are at Some kids that are young, they're not gonna understand. But they are more impressionable at the ages of under five and the struggle is hard. I'm not gonna say it's easy at all. I homeschool two of my kids. I don't work outside the home and the universe and God have provided for me. I have to say it'll all work itself out on its time that it's supposed to. But I would rather raise my children where they don't have to have anxiety inside of them because they're in a house with a lot of stress. I mean, what is that really doing to the kids?

Speaker 1:

Most of these kids nowadays have lived through COVID, where they weren't allowed to go to school, play on the playgrounds or be social. We are social human beings. You don't want your kids to grow up and be like. I spent most of my day in my bedrooms and didn't want to listen to my parents argue, or I was afraid for my dad to come home for dinner because I knew my mom was gonna get yelled at if she didn't make something that he liked. Or my mom got treated this way or my dad got treated this way. I mean it goes both ways. I mean, obviously I'm a female, but my kids have anxiety.

Speaker 1:

When we were still together, and it was like night and day from when he left at the end of May. He finally moved into an apartment beginning of June and now we're in October. My kids' mental health has flourished, they're growing and they're not stressed. And to the parents out there no, it's going to be hard on you emotionally, but you're an adult. You need to think about your kids as well, because as much as it's hurting you to stay in a relationship, it's doing a million times more damage to your kids that you can't see yet, and they're the future. You don't want them to repeat what you're in. You want to be better for that and you can do it. There's so many resources out there to help you, no matter what position you're in right now.

Speaker 2:

So then I'm sure if I was a listener they would probably be trying to ask you this question. I'm just thinking and the question would be how did you manage to co-parent your children with your ex-husband in a way that was healthy for your children and didn't hold your children in the middle? And I know that may be a hard question, but it is a question that a lot of moms and fathers who separate from a relationship that it's unhealthy. And so, yeah, what would you if I speak?

Speaker 1:

I will be 100% transparent and honest because I do not like being fake. We have been divorced for what? June, july, august or October four months. So we've been divorced fully for four months. But I resolved in January that we were not going to stay together.

Speaker 1:

So to make it easy on my kids, I ask them because we don't have a set day when he picks them up because of activities. So I'll ask them do you want to go to your dads? Do you want to go out to dinner with them? And I don't say do you want to go out to your dads at big old jerk, blah, blah, blah. No, I just simply ask a question and I don't make it sound snotty or anything like that, just do you want to go? And sometimes they say yes, sometimes they say no. We don't force them.

Speaker 1:

My older children don't want to be involved with him, but they're also 17 and 20. So I mean I will talk to them occasionally but to make it so it's not so awkward, I know when he's about to arrive, because he'll turn on his life 360 and I'll make sure all the kids stuff is set out Okay. And when he gets here I say goodbye to him, they go out the door and we will FaceTime each other at night and in the morning and say good morning and how's your day going. And I try my best not to bring things up. They will tell me, like, what they did and stuff like that at their own time. And so, as much as I despise what he did to the kids and how he turned his back on the family, I don't stop the kids from seeing them. But our almost 12 year old has the option to go an echo, so he doesn't force them either. But we try to limit the time that we are actually physically in the same area together. Christmas will be the first time really that we are in the same room together, actually, no, no. Next week our daughter turns 12, so I'm sure she'll want to move her cake on Tuesday, the 7th of November.

Speaker 1:

So we just kind of focus on the kids and don't talk to each other, and that's just the easiest. And the best thing is that he lives 30 minutes away and works an hour away, so we don't see each other. But it is hard. It's a mindset that you have to remove yourself from that situation and realize that it's for the kids, because the kids have a mom and dad. They have a different relationship with the parents than the parents had with each other.

Speaker 1:

So you know, I'm barring that they did something illegal to your child. I don't see, you know, a problem with just removing yourself from the situation and letting it be just about the kids. It's hard, it's very hard, but I'm new to this and I'm learning every single day and trying to be the best. But that was the one thing where I just don't question them, I don't grill them about what happened and I just let them say it at the oh, did you have a good time? Good, what did you eat? You know, and I make it very about things, about non-living things, more or less.

Speaker 2:

I think that's important. I think it's really important to see the positive end of things when it comes to children, because they've gone through so much already and so the last thing you want is to add your own personal things that you went through. And then I know, a lot of times as parents, we want to say negative things, but I'm here to tell you it's not the way to go, not with children, and the reason why is because the only one that you're hurting by doing that is your children, and your children are. They mean so much to you. You want them to not lose that sense of vulnerability where they can't talk to you about things because of how you may react or how you may feel. I think it's really nice what you're doing. You're just basically asking them how was your day?

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

Tell me what made you happy, what stood out.

Speaker 1:

Just like when they go to school.

Speaker 2:

It could be just the simple things, and that's what's important, because then they realize like, oh, it's OK, it's OK for me to be this way, it's OK for me to say this, and mom's not going to get upset, dad's going to be OK, and that's what's important, because children really truly just want to see their parents happy and, regardless of what the case may be, obviously, if there's anything that the children are in danger or something like that, that's completely different, that's very different.

Speaker 2:

But if, overall, the children are well and everything's going OK, I think focusing on the positive will also help them in return living a healthier life for themselves. Because I know with me my happiness, my change in how I respond now to life and in general, I've seen a huge change within my children. I love that. My daughter is very independent and she's finding herself and this is a growing face for her. And as hard as it is as a mother that I would love to see my daughter all the time and talk to her all the time, I have to respect her space. And then I have my son, who's growing up and figuring himself out, and he has an amazing passion for what he does as a barber and I'm here to support him, and that's what's important in this life is that by them seeing your growth, by them seeing where you're at, you unintentionally start creating a more powerful life for them, because they start seeing hey, I'm worthy of this, I'm deserving of this.

Speaker 2:

And that's what's so important for them to never feel that they need to settle for anything less than what they're deserving of. And it comes from you being a role model to your children and letting them know hey, it's okay to fail, hey, it's okay that things didn't come out perfect. All that's doing is just teaching you a lesson in life to aim for your higher self, to do it this way instead of that way. What works for you. A challenge is not given to you because you're not doing things right. A challenge comes to you because it's that lesson to do what you're doing even better. And that's the beauty of life, and that's just the beauty of what we go through. And I think it's so beautiful that now you're like this role model to your children, because I'm sure now your children feel like just in a safer place and overall, with their studies, with the decisions they make in life, you probably see them smiling more and being silly more, and what kind of joy does that bring to you as a mom?

Speaker 1:

Yes, it's amazing. It's so empowering to see and know where I came from four years ago and where I am now and seeing in my kids eyes the light, the excitement. And there are some times where my kid, especially my almost 12 year old, she's the one who's struggling the most and sometimes she doesn't wanna speak up in front of her eight year old brother what she's feeling. So I have said, well, here, go get your notebook, and why don't you go write to me what you're feeling? And then go take 10 minutes and go write about what you're feeling. And then we did this, like two weeks ago, and she came back down and I go listen, I'm gonna read it, but I'm not gonna share it with anybody else, I'm gonna read it and we could talk about it and it was all about how she's feeling, about how she doesn't wanna go spend the night at her father's house, and I'm like well, if you don't wanna spend the night, you don't have to.

Speaker 1:

I'm not gonna force you because, honestly, that I think brings more damage to children, forcing them to do something they don't wanna do. And that's a difference between signing them up for basketball and them saying they don't wanna go Listen. You send it for basketball. We're gonna go do the five weeks and we'll be done with it. But this is emotional trauma that they were put through being in a house when their things weren't great. But I'm not gonna make trauma anymore and that's the one thing that I have to say that their father and I have done well on. That's probably the only road that we're the same on is with the kids and making sure that they're not having additional trauma because of the separation of the family or I wish it was better other ways. But you can't take a horse to water and make them drink, you know. You just gotta work on yourself.

Speaker 2:

Well, it's like you said you can't create change in somebody, correct, they need to choose change for themselves, and that's huge. So you're either going to accept the person as they are or you're not, but you have to accept that you can change who they are, because you don't have that power. The only power you have is changing who you are as a person and becoming a better person for yourself, and that's all you have power on.

Speaker 1:

Exactly.

Speaker 2:

I love how you mentioned about the writing down and reflecting on what you feel. I think that's so beautiful that you do that with your daughter and your children, because I feel, as adults, that's also something that could empower them to be able to look at how their thoughts, how their emotions, how they're responding to things, because they're self-reflecting by actually writing it down and looking at it and feeling the words, and it's something that they could reflect on later on in life and be like wow, I didn't realize, this is how I felt then, you know, in comparison to how I feel now. And a lot of times it's hard for us to use our voice and speak up. So the way that your daughter communicates her feelings to you is by writing them down and you providing a safe place for her to know hey, this is how between us is confidential. If you wanna talk about it, we can't, but I'm just gonna read it out to you.

Speaker 2:

And I feel that by doing that, you're also taking into consideration how your daughter communicates with you and how she communicates her feelings and emotions, which, in return, also allows her to know that it's okay for her to do it that way. And so, as adults, we need to realize that the way we communicate our feelings, the way we communicate our emotions, it's different from everybody else and it's okay to do it just in that way, how you did it. And I think that that's so beautiful, because a lot of people don't realize the power of our words and how much they mean to us, especially when we read them and we reflect on them.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I feel that journaling is a lost art. I am guilty of not doing it. I am guilty of doing it. So I was just thinking, as you're speaking to me, I'm looking at a drawer behind my computer and there's a composition book inside there that in January, when I decided I was done, I just started journaling, like every night I would write how I feel, and I have not opened that notebook up. And I was thinking about opening up and seeing how far I've come, just from January, february and March to now in October. I do leave notes every single day for myself and Facebook to read on only me eyes or only me. I leave it on there. So every year, if I go back and look at my memories, I'm like wow, so I do that sometimes. Now I look at the memories I've had from four years ago or three years ago and I'm like red flag.

Speaker 1:

You know, in my mind I was like red flag red flag but how come I didn't see that three years ago or four years ago? Because the universe and God were preparing me to be who I am today, and so all that garbage, the red flags, I didn't see. We're all in preparation. So being able to reflect on that, being able to self-grow, is the best thing we can do for our mindset, to make us a better version of ourself every single day. So that's huge. And that's the biggest reason for my podcast is to help people to just think outside the box, because they are the most important person in this world.

Speaker 1:

The whole world can end and guess what? You're still stuck with yourself. You need to love yourself. And people are like, are you gonna date? And I'm like, yes, I went out and bought myself an aquamarine ring because that's my birthstone and I am dating myself, like I am doing things that I love, because you gotta love yourself. And loving yourself first and knowing who you are genuinely is a growth transformation and it's just yeah, that's what my podcast is mostly about. Is growth transformation, just learning to love yourself and see outside the box.

Speaker 2:

By loving yourself. What you're gonna end up doing is actually attracting the right love for you.

Speaker 2:

Yes, cause like attracts like, but you first have to date yourself. Yes, because now you understand what the true meaning of love is, because now you love yourself. You know what's acceptable for you. You know what is not acceptable for you. You trust your intuition, you trust what your body is telling you. So now you're not ignoring what does not resonate with you. So, in return, what you're doing is you're welcoming and inviting people into your life that vibrate at the same energy that you do, because you know your worth now. You know your value now and you're now. You're not gonna settle for anything less than what you are worthy of, and that's the beauty of growth.

Speaker 1:

Yes, speaking into existence. That's huge. Exactly what you're saying. It just needs to be put on a billboard for everyone in the whole entire world to see. So, yes, speaking into existence, because that's how it should be Love yourself.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, love yourself first. I wanna end it with something that I want you to share, and I'm gonna end up with a question for you. Okay, we're all going through our own transformational journey. Our transformational journey is very unique to us. Some of us call it growth journey, some of us call it a healing journey. Overall, we're just transforming ourselves, right, right. What is the most empowering thing that you have gained through your personal transformation?

Speaker 1:

There's been a lot of things that I've gained through my personal transformation, but I do believe the one thing that I can say that I am so grateful for is my mindset that everything is fluid and it all happens for a reason. That nothing, absolutely nothing, happens by coincidence. Everything is meant to happen to make you the person that you are meant to be, and I am so grateful for it. And as I look back on the crap and garbage I went through, it was all done for a reason and even though we're not happy we don't wanna be in that situation there is a greater purpose in us. So that's my biggest takeaway from these last couple of years, actually, my whole years. I'm 47. So, yes, always growing.

Speaker 2:

I love it. Thank you so much. I really wanna thank you for being so vulnerable with us and opening up with us, cause I know that that's not something that's easy to do, and I really appreciate your vulnerability, sharing your story with us. I know that this is going to bring some light into a lot of parents, women, men who are out there searching for their growth and their transformation and asking them themselves is it my time?

Speaker 1:

Very true, I appreciate you having me on. Thank you so much.

Speaker 2:

Yes, you're welcome, and I appreciate you and I'm grateful for you, and so I can't wait to hear more about your journey, cause I'm sure that there's just so much more greatness out there for you.

Speaker 1:

And so, yes, yeah, feel free to check me out. Yeah, I can't mindset, so harness your power within. I'll just keep doing those podcasts and love how every single day will open that present and see what it does for all of us. So thank you so much again. I appreciate it.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to make sure that I link her podcast in the notes section, so make sure that you refer to it to follow mindset podcast. To, just you know, live a life of abundance, evolving into the person you're meant to be, and there is no reason you can't say no. Very true Is your word of power. So it's time for you to transform yourself.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you are the best. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Speaker 2:

Thank you for taking your time and connecting with me on this beautiful journey of life. Please subscribe and review, and don't forget to follow so you don't miss out on any of these amazing and empowering episodes. Always remember you matter. If nobody has told you today, I am here to tell you that you are enough, you are worthy and you are deserving of the best. Every day that you wake up, I want you to take one moment and just look at yourself in the mirror and know that the person staring back at you is so proud of you and loves you beyond measures. You are a true warrior.