Self-Worth Revolution: Tips for your Transformational Journey
Have you ever felt trapped in your own mind, unable to see a way out? Have you ever sat in a room feeling alone, ruminating, and asking yourself: How can I transform my life from darkness to light? How will I get through this darkness? I was once in that very room, feeling like the walls were closing in on me. But I chose to break free from my pain and trauma, and it changed my life forever.
Are you searching for your life's true purpose? Are you ready to find inner peace and tranquility? Do you want to live a life filled with abundance and happiness? Do you want to connect with like-minded individuals on a journey of self-discovery?
This is the right podcast for you. Self Worth Revolution is a podcast hosted by a survivor turned Transformational and Relationship Coach where I share my story and the stories of others who have survived and thrived. This is not a podcast of generic advice. This is a podcast where you will hear real stories of survival and transformation. Together, we'll explore the practical tips and strategies that have helped us live mindful, purposeful lives free from bullshit.
Are you searching for your life's true purpose? Do you want to live a life filled with abundance, happiness, love, and inner peace? Are you looking for actionable steps to improve your life? If so, this podcast is for you. Join me as we dive deep into topics such as:
- Overcoming trauma and pain
- Finding your higher purpose
- Living a mindful and purposeful life
- Cultivating abundance and happiness
- Achieving inner peace
Are you ready to transform your life? Tune in to Self Worth Revolution and discover how you can break free from your past and create the future you desire.
Self-Worth Revolution: Tips for your Transformational Journey
Tina Browne's Journey of Breaking Free and Reclaiming Self-Worth
What if your greatest source of pain could become your greatest strength? Join Vivian Medrano and Tina Browne on the Self-Worth Revolution podcast as we share our transformative journey from personal suffering to empowerment. Through heartfelt stories and candid reflections, We encourage you to confront the fears and barriers that hold you back, emphasizing the importance of breaking free from past narratives and unhealthy relationships. Gain insights into the cathartic power of vulnerability and discover how sharing one's story can not only heal the storyteller but also inspire listeners to embark on their own healing journey.
This episode offers an intimate look at self-reflection and growth amid life's challenges. Tina and Vivian dive into how familial influences shape our perceptions of love and worth, and the struggles of navigating life changes during the pandemic. Through Tina's own experiences, she explores the emotional turmoil of leaving an abusive relationship and the daunting task of re-entering the dating scene after years away. With courage and resilience, Tina highlights the importance of support systems, self-acceptance, and the necessity of setting boundaries to reclaim safety and autonomy.
Healing is not a destination but a lifelong journey of discovery and acceptance. Tina shares how somatic therapy and body awareness can release embodied trauma and foster a trusting relationship with oneself. Through stories of personal growth and reflections on self-worth, this episode underscores the power of forgiveness, the liberation found in embracing one's true self, and the profound joy of living authentically. Tune in to be inspired to love yourself fiercely, trust your journey, and embrace the limitless possibilities that lie ahead.
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The "The Self Worth Revolution" Podcast may, at times, cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics. Neither The Company, The Host nor the guests shall at any time be liable for the content covered causing off...
So you can't change what happened to you. You can't change what was done to you, whatever happened to you, but you can change your life from now. So are you going to continue to sit in that story? And often people do, because that's the misery. Because we might often ask why would you want to stay miserable? Because it's comfortable, because it's what misery? Because we might often ask why would you want to stay miserable? Because it's comfortable, because it's what we're used to. So sitting and staying in that, if it is an abusive relationship like we've been in, if it is that, that's what you're used to, that's what you're comfortable with, that's what your ego is like, yeah, but you like this. It's really hard because that's what you're comfortable with, that's what your, your ego is like yeah, but you like this. It's really hard because that's what you're, that's what you're used to. That's what your body has now said to yourself is your, your normality, your every day, and you're? You don't. You don't know that relation that love is, is supposed to be unconditional.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the Self-Worth Revolution podcast hosted by Vivian Medrano. I am not only a podcaster, but a mother, a nurse, a life coach and a survivor. This podcast is about turning your pain into your power, your experiences into your lessons, and to start living a life full of abundance, inner peace and fulfillment. My higher purpose are for my listeners to find their self-worth and their value by following their path to greatness. We are all deserving of living our best lives. It is time to stop identifying with our past. Start living in the present for a better future. This podcast will have guest speakers that will share their stories of how they transformed their lives and found their worth.
Speaker 2:My mission is to let my listeners know this is your time to shine, to know that you are not alone. Healing is empowering. It takes courage to be vulnerable and our voices have power. Hold on to your lives, because this will be an incredible ride of self-transformation, self-empowerment and radical change. It is time for us to take our power back. I was just listening to, didn't finish listening to it, but I started listening to the one where you were speaking about your life and what you had gone through in regards to your past relationship.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I put, I put that episode out just on on Thursday and, yeah, I've been getting some really nice feedback on that so I need to get vulnerable within myself to be able to do that, because that's exactly why I created this podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I had no intention over a week ago that I didn't know I was going to do that episode this week. I guess I was in meditation and I came out, I just was doing my daily practice and I get out, I just, you know, was doing my daily practice and I get up and I was like, oh okay, something's telling me that I need to do this. So it was very cathartic for me and I didn't feel about it at all how I thought I was going to feel about it because I didn't know I was going to do it. So, if that makes sense, but afterwards I I realized that I was obviously in the right space because, yes, I was a little bit apprehensive, as I decided.
Speaker 1:When I decided to put it out the other day, I was like, oh, that feels a little uncomfortable, but not terribly. I didn't worry about what people would think or the shame. You know I didn't. I actually didn't have shame around it. I just knew it was the right thing to do. And still it was a little bit uncomfortable, of course you know, but I'm really glad, I'm really glad I did it now.
Speaker 2:I'm glad you did it too, because I think people need to be more aware about it, and that's one of the things that I'm trying to bring awareness to. And I'm the one holding myself back, and I know it, and listening to your episode made me realize, because those moments and those ideas and that content and what I write in my journal has all been leading me to speak more on it and I just have been holding myself back from doing it. You know, and it's just, I think it's that uncomfortable feeling of knowing whether, when you speak of it, whether you're going to become triggered by it.
Speaker 2:And what the outcome is going to be within your body once you start talking about it, because there's just so many things that I have lived through that people don't have any idea about, because you see me on the outside and I was fine, but you really, truly know what I lived through. You would be like what the hell? How could you have accepted any of that? And I think it's understanding for people to be aware that they're not alone. And this actually happens and really has nothing to do with you as a person. Has to do with what you have dealt with for so long in life that you're accepting what you're accepting into your life because of how you view yourself and how you feel about yourself at that moment. That is good.
Speaker 2:You know, when somebody pays that attention to you and you don't really understand that, it's not healthy. Your body feels it. I mean, my body felt it from the beginning, but I ignored it. Your intuition, yeah, and you ignore it and I think is it's a thing that people need to understand that yes, you ignored it, but why did you ignore it? And that's the bigger question that we have to ask ourselves and that's the hardest questions for people to ask themselves, because it's then now them getting into the nitty gritty of the things that they went through, that they may not want to face, and understanding on why they accepted that into their lives.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I think, vivian, that was really important for me to express that as well that I had to look inwards and not say, why did this happen to me? To let go of being in the victim mentality and say, okay, what was going on inside? What's happening to me? What am why? What way am I living? How am I doing this? That I that I drew it in.
Speaker 1:You know, you, it's really difficult to take responsibility, but the awareness and responsibility is is how you, how you start to really change your life, is just taking radical responsibility for your stuff. And often it's not that we don't ask for these things and and it's not your fault that it. You know what I mean? It's. It's kind of like putting down the kind of the blaming and just saying, yeah, okay, so this did happen to me, so what do I do with it? Now, it's like if you, if someone left a baby outside your door, you didn't ask for someone to leave that baby in the bassinet, but you open the door, now you have responsibility for it, even though you didn't ask, and I think that's something that we we have to kind of take into account. No, you know, we don't ask for these terrible things to happen to us. But when they do happen, there is a reason, and it's to actually be able to and you're right, it is hard and it is a bitter pill to swallow to actually admit to yourself that this is of your own doing in a way, because you haven't been dealing with the things that need to be dealt with within yourselves. So now you're drawing things to yourself.
Speaker 1:The universe is always, is always sending us lessons, like, like I did saying it, you know your body is a compass. Like I did say in it, you know your body is a compass and if you keep ignoring it, you're going to get the messages are going to become louder and louder and louder, because the universe is trying to tell you something that you need to know. That's how we end up becoming really ill, like you don't start off with, you know, an autoimmune disease. You might start off with really bad indigestion and then you ignore your body and you move past it and next thing it turns in you've got an ulcer and you ignore the ulcer. You're like, well, whatever you know, but that's your body's way of telling you that something else is going on that you need to deal with. And once we do deal with those things you're up leveling your life. This is the thing you. You got to go into the kind of the yucky stuff to find the good stuff you know yeah it, I completely agree with you.
Speaker 2:And that's the hardest part is for people to become very self-aware and have self-reflection on themselves and ask themselves that question that we were just stating is why am I attracting this to me? Why am I accepting this? You know that you feel uncomfortable, you know that it's not right for you, you know that you wouldn't want your loved ones to go through this, but yet when it comes to you, you're accepting of it and the hardest part is saying I'm attracting this to myself. Now that means that if I'm attracting it to myself, then change has to come from within, means that if I'm attracting it to myself, then change has to come from within. For people to acknowledge that change has to come from within, the first thing they think about is something is wrong with me, but they don't want to realize that there's something wrong within them Because then that's something negative. And nobody wants to view themselves consciously as something negative. And it's true. You shouldn't view yourself as something negative, because if you're not a negative person in hindsight, but you are attracting negativity to you because of what you feel about yourself. What you feel about yourself, because if you knew your value, if you knew your worth, you would not attract something that it's not worthy of you or valuable of you, and so, therefore, you have to look at the bigger question, which is why am I attracting that to me?
Speaker 2:Once you start self reflecting, whatever it is that you went through, you know it could have been you growing up and seeing that through your parents. That's the kind of love that you grew up with. It could be that you wanted validation and acceptance from the outside world, and that's how you were able to say, hey, if they love me, that means I'm lovable. If they value me, that means I'm valuable. Instead of realizing that the person that's staring back at you is the person that's going to love you the fullest, and until you start loving yourself completely through the things that you went through, through your trauma, through your challenges, through your obstacles, you're going to continue to think that you're not worthy or valuable of anything greater than that. So it comes from within you understanding that I did go through that. That was given to me. I don't have control over what I went through as a child or what happened to me, but what I do have control over is how do I use that in order to empower me as a person and that's where all manifests from is what we carry from within, what's familiar, what's comfortable for us.
Speaker 2:And I think, once I started realizing that and I started really deeply understanding I was attracting what I grew up with. I was attracting the same person I was running away from, just in another person. And how was I going to stop this cycle? You know, that's when I was like hold up, I am attracting a person I'm running away from. So that means this is what I see as familiar. I don't want to make this familiar anymore to me. I have to create my own beliefs, my own agreements, what I want for my life, and it has to start with me. And that was my hardest point. What would you say was your hardest challenge? And starting to say, hey, tina, no more. This is something that I have to realize. I'm not worthy of this. I'm better than this. What was your awakening moment? To say no, no more.
Speaker 1:So for me it was so a lot was happening in my life. So essentially it felt like my whole life and existence up to that point was crumbling, was burning down the whole thing. The house had to be burned down. Separation, separated from my husband during COVID, which led to it being a lonely time because a lot of the time I couldn't have any any support network that I normally would have. I I didn't have access to on, I suppose on a one-to-one level, you know, like an in-person to be with. Whoever is. You know your, your your rock, usually friends or family, whatever it is. So that that was very challenging.
Speaker 1:But I was in that cycle of because my conditioning would be you just get on with it, sweep it under the carpet, that's what we do. Put on your big girl pants and you get on with it. It's kind of well, this is it now. It's kind of. You know I grew up with. You know this is your bed. Now you must lie in it. You made this decision, now that's it, you know. So I was doing that. So what I was doing was just running away from myself and looking externally again you know whether that was alcohol or you know just trying to avoid all the feelings that I was going through, the grief, because I think when, when a marriage ends, or when a relation, a long-term relationship ends, you, you, you're going to grieve, and I think that's not something. Maybe that is spoken about that much because it is like a death in a sense, because the future that you thought you were going to have is gone now. So you need to grieve that and you need to start to rebuild. But I just completely ran away from it. And then, you know, about a year after I'd separated, what happened was my, my, my friends and my girlfriends and and they were just trying to be supportive. You know, they were like, maybe it's time you put yourself back out there, and I knew I didn't want to, so I was like, no, no, I don't think so. Things were starting to open up again. We could kind of start going out a little bit and stuff. Things were starting to open up again. We could kind of start going out a little bit and stuff.
Speaker 1:And my out of my friend group I, I'm the one with kids so and I, I became a mother very young. So when I was 21, I had my daughter. So she's 16, nearly 17 now, and I have my son who's eight, 17 now, and I have my son who's eight, nearly nine. So but I, out, out of everybody, you know what I mean like, so I, I had always had these responsibilities that my, my friends didn't didn't have, but they were. I mean, they're still incredible, still incredible friendships, but they, so they would be dating, you know. So they were used to this.
Speaker 1:I mean, the only experience I have of of dating was when I was a teenager. So I met my husband when I was 19, you know. So he was my whole. You know, that relationship was my whole adult life up to that point. So the only other thing I had to base relationships off of were teenage boyfriends and family relationships within my family scape, which we were not great communicators and that, you know, everybody has their, their own issues and your parents have their own issues.
Speaker 1:And you know I didn't, I didn't understand what, what true love really? I suppose an unconditional love. And you know I didn't, I didn't understand what it, what true love really? I suppose an unconditional love felt like. So I didn't have anything to base it off of.
Speaker 1:And then I, you know, from the age of 19 up until three, three years ago. That was, that was, that was the, the relationship in my, in my life. So I didn't know any different, so I'd never really dated as such right as an adult. And so my, my friends like, oh, there's these, you know, try these apps. And I was like, oh, allergic, because the only the only basis I had was just being, maybe, being with with them and just being like taking their phone and being like oh and swiping for them like it was a game, you know. So I didn't really understand the dynamics of it and I mean I was really horrified by it actually, because you know when, when I dated you, before that, you spoke to people we didn't really have phones, you know what I mean, that phones were actual, just phones, you know, they weren't your life and so I didn't know.
Speaker 1:So I, when it was, I realized how superficial the whole thing was and just really just about sex and and stuff there was I mean, there was no deep, meaningful relationships to be had on tinder or bumble or hinge was the one that I went on. And so my friend, she, she sent me a message. She's like, oh hey, you know, I've been on this app and the guys are actually seem to be a bit more sophisticated or whatever. So you should try this. And I was like this is ridiculous, I don't want to do this. But then you're at home and you're alone and curiosity killed the cat, you know. So one night I was like maybe I'll just have a little look and see. So I went on, made a profile. I mean, it seems fun at the beginning because you're just, you know, swiping. And again then it's a case of you're getting attention. You've got people commenting on your photos, you've got people just wanting to chat with you. And because it was a lonely time for me, it was like, oh okay, well, just even conversation with, with people outside of your, your immediate circle, was like something we didn't have for a long time. So this was, say, kind of November 2021, when this was kind of going on. So we, you know, spent a year like a you know longer, a year and a half in lockdown, so anyway.
Speaker 1:So I chatted to a few people nothing really came of it and then started chatting to this, to this guy, and he then was like, oh, let's go on a date. And I was like, oh god, it even felt I could feel in my body. I was like very resistant. I was like, oh, let's go on a date. And I was like, oh God, it even felt I could feel in my body. I was like very resistant. I was like, oh, you know what? I actually remember we were chatting and I had COVID. So I was like, you know, I actually have COVID, so you know I can't go on a date, and forgot about it. And then we just kind of were chatting, because it's nice to chat to people and feel good to talk about yourself and whatever. And then he came back again. He was like, oh, hey, you know you're, obviously you must be out of quarantine at this stage.
Speaker 1:So I started making excuses. I was like, oh, I'd love to meet you, but because I missed work last week, you know I have so much to catch up on, because I missed work last week, you know I have so much to catch up on, um, and I was like, oh, and it would really depend where you are and I don't really have time to travel to meet you. Then I get this message and it's like oh, we, actually, we live in the same town. And I remember initially going that's really weird, because I'm sure I wouldn't, I wouldn't have matched with someone. I, you know you, you know you, I wouldn't have. Probably, I probably would have looked at someone that was from the same area and went, no, that's not, that's kind of a recipe that I, you know that I, for a disaster, I don't really want to do that. But anyway, I was like, oh, that's strange. But I, the people pleaser, started to come out of me then. So I just went, oh, oh God, ok, ok, ok, sure, so said we'd go for a coffee.
Speaker 1:And I remember being so nervous and obviously that's normal too, because you know, if you haven't been on a date 17 years, you're going to be nervous. And but I remember going on the first date and it was nice to be out and to chat to someone. But I, I, I knew I was like, yeah, I'm not attracted to this person. This is not really a thing. But when we were on the first date, he invited me on a second date and because I was in, you know, standing in, standing in person, I, you know, I couldn't my whole body was like you can't say no. My brain's like don't be mean, you can't say no. So I said yes and that's how it kind of went.
Speaker 1:And I remember going going on a second date with this person and kind of going, oh, I, I'm not attracted to you, I actually don't like, I, I don't really feel anything here. And he was a bit kind of forceful and I was like like, yeah, I'm not really into this. So I was like, what will I do? So you're like I'm on this date, like what would I do? So I will drink. So I drank, yeah, so I drank, and that became the theme to it.
Speaker 1:So I think, as it went along, I felt like I was trapped in the situation. Now I would have, if this was today, I wouldn't even entertain it. I would say, you know, yeah, thank you. But no, but I had no boundaries at the time. I didn't know how to set boundaries, I didn't even really know what a boundary was and I just felt, oh well, I made my bed. Now I'm kind of in this thing with this guy and it doesn't feel good. But how can I get out of it? I felt really stuck. So this went on and on Then, like even when the red flag started to come up, on and on then, like even when the red flag started to come up, I ignored them.
Speaker 1:My gut was telling me no but I just completely ignored it and actually my body was rejecting this relationship. I I was getting, I kept having UTIs, week after week and it would go, and I was like my body and this is why it's so important to listen to your body my body was actually physically rejecting this person and I was just ignoring it and putting up with it. And then, as it went on and now I would like to say that this relationship actually only lasted two months, all right, so this only went on. And now I would like to say that this relationship actually only lasted two months. All right, so this, this only went on for eight weeks, and it felt like longer when I look back at it.
Speaker 1:But it's because I got so entrapped so quickly and it got so intense so quickly and this person I felt like managed to convince me that I did want it. And then I started to try to convince myself that I wanted to be in this, when I knew I didn't really. But I just felt so trapped and because I wasn't used to saying no, I wasn't able to say no. And also, you know the attention you were getting and someone is, like you know, love bombing you after a few weeks you. It does bring in that sense of like being needed and being wanted and it validates you in in some form.
Speaker 2:And so, no, it does, it definitely does. And I think this is where it's important. When people hear the word love bombing, a lot of times people don't understand what it is. I didn't understand what it was Either. I didn't even know that's what I was going through, you know, I had no idea and, like you said, like the very first day I mean, I was very uneasy. It felt very uncomfortable for me, but yet the tension that I was getting made me feel good, because at least I was getting attention. You know, no matter which way I was getting attention, I felt as though I was being seen and somebody, you know I was attracting, somebody to be into, that wanted to hang out with me, who wanted to enjoy moments with me. And so one of the things that it's really important for people to see and understand is, when you're first meeting somebody, it's important for you not to tell people what it is that you would like from them. Many times, when you tell people what it is that you like, would want them to do for you, they go ahead and start doing everything that you told them that you would like them to do for you, and that's where the love bombing starts, because everything you told them. They're listening. Their ears are listening to you.
Speaker 2:Oh, she wants flowers. I'm going to get her an abundance of flowers. Oh, she wants to go eat dinner. I'm going to get her an abundance of flowers. Oh, she wants to go eat dinner. I'm going to take her to the five star restaurant. Oh, she loves to the beach. Oh, let's go to the beach every day. Oh, she likes to meditate. I'll meditate.
Speaker 2:Even though they don't like any of that, even if they don't have money, they're going to do that because they want to grab you. They want to make you feel seen, loved, and that's not normal people. That is not the way it's supposed to be. Nobody should give you that much attention into your life when it's something that is healthy. Everything is done gradually. Nothing is done to that extent.
Speaker 2:So it's really important to not deliver all the information to them of what you would want for yourself. It's more important to let them know what kind of character you're looking for in a person. I want somebody who's loyal. I want somebody who's able to communicate. I want somebody who has integrity, who has emotional maturity, that they're able to empathize and with other people, and you start seeing more of the relationship they have with their family. But their friends do they have friends? Do they have a close relationship with their family? That is, friends, do they have friends? Do they have a close relationship with their family? That is what's more important. And understanding their character, instead of you saying, well, I want them this materialistic things because they could deliver that to you. But the person who they are eventually comes out, and that's what's important people to understand, and that's why I wanted to say that, because I did that I would tell them, oh, I really would want somebody to do this for me, I really want somebody to do that for me. And the more I delivered the information, the more he delivered what I was saying I wanted. So then I feel I felt like my God, this person's really listening to me. This person must truly love me and care for me.
Speaker 2:Meanwhile, their intentions behind everything that they were doing was not the same intention you had, and that's what's important to understand when you're meeting people is now, how can you create a healthy way to meet them? And it comes out with boundaries. Like you were saying, I had no sense of boundaries Growing up. I didn't have a voice. My opinions were very irrelevant. If I had an opinion in something, I was shut down, and so, in return, I then starting to not create boundaries.
Speaker 2:What I started doing more now is being a people pleaser, in a way is oh, if I do this, I'm going to make them happy.
Speaker 2:No matter if it was something I didn't want to do or I felt uncomfortable doing, I would do it because I was pleasing the person that I wanted to care for me and love me, and I felt the more I give, the more I please them, then the more they're going to validate me and see what an amazing woman in person that I am, not knowing that by me not setting my boundaries, I was actually not respecting myself. And, as they say, you teach people how to treat you. So the more you forgive, the more you allow them to be disrespectful or treat you in a way that you know it's not correct, that you wouldn't treat another person. That's when you start losing yourself. That's when you start losing yourself. And so, through this phase of yours, you went on a trip and through that trip, you became very uncomfortable in that trip, but through that trip, I feel that you started recognizing certain things within yourself that you were starting to say, hey, something's wrong here. This is very uncomfortable, this is very unsafe for me. What was that?
Speaker 1:Yes. So the trip you're talking about is this, this I went on a trip with this person for a weekend away and it's, like you said, very air, like very quickly into meeting this person there was talk of oh, I want to take you away and we should do this. You know all about the future, the future, the future. And even though I was saying I don't want a future with this person, I, I seem to just be going along with everything there wasn't. Before we went away, there was an incident that made me really uncomfortable and I tried to actually end the relationship at that point, but they were able to manipulate me because they knew that I had no we're talking about boundaries again but they knew that I had no boundaries and they, he, he learned very quickly how to you know how to press my buttons where it could come in that I would feel so bad and so guilty that I would give in. So there was a really strange incident that was like a massive, massive red flag and I was like this is not right, I don't want to do this anymore. And I remember saying to my sister I, I'm going to go, I'm supposed to meet him, I'm going to go, and this is it. I'm going to go and tell him I don't want to see him anymore and I must have my. Obviously I felt really unsafe because I put, I said I'm going to put my location on, can you follow, make sure? Because I said I'm going to go to his apartment and I said can you just watch me? So I knew there was a danger, clearly, but it's like I knew it, but I wasn't saying it. So I knew there was a danger. Anyway, I went and I said to I'm not really into this, I, I really don't think we're, we're a good match, I really want. And he, it started off with like a little bit of anger and blame and then begging, you know, and then telling me, basically telling me that no, I wasn't doing this. And I look back and go how did I? You know what I mean, you're, you're. You look back in hindsight and you go god, I, what? How did I say? Because I, my self-worth was zero, so I and I didn't know how to, I didn't know how to conduct myself in the situation, I guess. And I remember trying to do this and instead of I was saying this is over, but instead that night I wound up out in town with his friends and he threatened and I didn't think of it at the time, but he threatened me, but he was saying we're going to do this and you're not to mention a word of what has gone on here. And because I felt so bad for trying to end it, I was like, okay, I was like this meek little mouse that couldn't speak, and I just went, okay, and then it went on.
Speaker 1:So we ended up going on this trip and I knew I didn't want to go because, a I felt it, b I was lying to everybody around me about what I was doing and where I was going, and that's a telltale sign that you're doing something that you know is not right. So I lied about where I was going. I even, in fact, I had a friend of mine, so I said I was going to stay with her. So she, for for the weekend, on her social media, was tagging me in photos. So she, you know, so it looks like that I was with her, I mean, which now, looking back, is crazy. You know. You think, okay, why like it? It just just was we, we do that to protect ourselves.
Speaker 1:That's why we do that, yeah. So see, I thought I didn't want to hurt other people. That was a two. It wasn't like a protection for myself, I suppose. It was like I didn't want to hurt other people around me. So then we go. We go on this trip I know I shouldn't be going very quickly.
Speaker 1:It starts to spiral because the person can feel you're pulling away. They don't want that. So what happened was when he was losing control, because I was saying, yeah, I was starting to come out of myself and say I'm really not okay with this. And when I started to do that, the person became really erratic because they were losing control and the mask just came on. It's like the mask just fell off while we were away. So they became angry and abusive and it went from anger and abuse to begging and crying and pleading and it just got really scary really quickly to the point of where I had to felt like I had to flee from where I was.
Speaker 1:I was like I have to get out of here, I have to go home. That it just came over me, this sense of like no, and I have to get home. I have to get home. It's like you're. It's like you're you, just you have no other choice. Something just comes over and you just say I, this is, this is not going to end well, if I stay here. You, I just knew I was in in danger, so I. So then you start thinking, okay, well, what, what is the best way? What is the best way to do this? And still, even though I felt in danger, part of me was still going yeah, but you're a bit of a bitch for doing this to someone that was still in me. It was like you're actually, like you're not a good person If you leave this person here.
Speaker 1:You know that that, that that mentality was still within me which is because you're like, just, you can't help but try to, because it's that part of you that goes oh, here it is, you won't be liked. You know, um, and that's my whole persona was built around being liked. Your character, you know I'm. I'm a person that gets on with everybody. I'm somebody that everybody likes. Oh, she's great, she's funny, she's kind, she's.
Speaker 1:I built a whole persona of this person, of who I thought I should be based off of other other people, what other people thought. So, even when I was in real danger, my life was in danger, I was still worried about what, what I, what people would think of me. So I like. What I want to say is, as I'm telling this as well, is that you know this can happen to, this can happen to anybody. And I would have thought before, say that would never happen to me, because I thought, oh well, I'm, I'm an educated, independent woman and I know things and I would never allow that to happen to me. But I'm sorry to say that it can happen to anybody, because it's all to do with your internal state and where you are in your life and what has happened to you as a kid, as a teenager, as a young adult, where you are and what's going on. It has nothing to do with whether you're educated or whether you're a strong person or whatever. Whatever you've put on yourself, whatever labels you put on yourself it, it has absolutely nothing, nothing to do with that. This could happen to anybody.
Speaker 1:And so I had to get. So what I did? I kind of created a plan. So I went to the hotel manager and I was like I feel, you know, and they helped me to organize a taxi for getting to the airport, and and all that because I knew I needed a plan for getting to the airport. And and all that because I knew I needed a plan, because as soon as I said that I was leaving, I, you know, I innately knew that it it was not going to go well, yeah, so it did not go well, they did not take it well. So they, you know, started off. They were like verbally abusing me, and then there was thankfully not like physical abuse, as you know.
Speaker 2:But there was, there was throw it there was.
Speaker 1:There was throwing, throwing of objects which you know I managed to miss. You know, it wasn't that they, they didn't I suppose you'd say they didn't lay their hands on me, but they were throwing things, they were screaming and then they were crying and begging and the usual, and then into this kind of because they knew to get to me saying you know everybody's going to hate you. You're really evil for doing this. You know all the things you know. So to say that, like you're, you're initially with, with people like this, so with narcissists, and you're they'll put you on this pedestal. You can, you're never, ever going to be able to live up to that, but they put you on this pedestal, so they've told you all these things. And then, when they're losing control, they start throwing all these things back at you. As you know they, because none of it was ever true.
Speaker 1:But I, when it, when it came time for me to to leave, he wouldn't allow me to leave the hotel room, and I was saying, oh well, I'm going and just wouldn't, wouldn't, let me go. And I, I remember and and looking back on that now, being in that moment and thinking, is this, it because I didn't? I was like how am I going to get out of here? I am all of five foot two, so I'm 157 centimeters, I'm very, I'm a very petite person and this man is six foot two, you know. And and you, just because you kind of think I, I, I don't know how to physically get out of here, because your, your mind is in that like you're in serious fight or flight, so you're like, how am I? So you start, your, the scenarios are kind of like running through and and I thought, well, this is it, he's, he's getting very angry, I want to leave. He's standing in front of me every time I try to move. I can't, I can't go. We started doing really strange, erratic things, then, really just crazy stuff. And then, when, so what happened was when I didn't turn up for my, for my taxi, the hotel manager came looking for me and that is how I managed to get out. Good, yeah, so for the, from the help of a stranger. You know, he obviously sensed and that's the thing too he obviously sensed my panic or my unease when I went to speak to him initially, because, of course, I was trying to play it all down and not really tell him what was going on when, in hindsight, I should have said can you help me get out of here now? You know, because looking back, you think, well, I should have just packed my bag straight away. Just, you know, just left in that moment. But you can't really say that because you just deal with it the best way that you can in that moment. So it's like with anything, whatever tools you have in your arsenal at the time, which for me were not that many, that's all you can operate off of. So I managed to get home.
Speaker 1:I was pretty traumatized, obviously, when I got back, but the situation it didn't end. You know, I you think that that it would end there, but unfortunately it didn't. And it went on for a while. There was there was stalking, there was trying to contact family members. There was, there was stalking, there was trying to contact family members. There was, there was a lot of stuff. And then one day my friend said I got a message or whatever she's, because I had blocked all, obviously blocked all communication, but they were still finding ways to be where I was, so showing up. Um, so I'm an, I'm an actor, I was, I was so showing up. So I'm an actor, I was doing a play and one night there they are front row of the audience, in between my family members. Now, luckily for me, I didn't see them at the time, but they contacted me after to let me know they were there, to let me know.
Speaker 1:That's the type of psychological kind kind of thing because in the guise of, you were amazing, but also I can still get you. So my a friend of mine was like enough is enough, you can't. Because I was in so much fear all the time I couldn't leave the house. Like you know, when I left the house I was like constantly I was like a deer in headlights. Everywhere I went I was on high alert all the time. Where is this person? Are they going to show up somewhere? You know, like my whole system so for for months.
Speaker 1:And then there was I. So I went. I went. My friend convinced me. She was like you need to go, you need to go to the police. She was like this is. You know, you can't live this way. This isn't right and it's not. This person is stalking you. And because I was trying to hide this from everyone, correct? You know as well I was and and then I was. It was huge shame for me around around it. So I ended up going to court and getting an order against this person. And then there was a you know a couple more instances before I got to court. A couple more instances of you know where my life became in threat again happened, and then we we went to court.
Speaker 1:But so what happened for me then is after when, when this was going on, and because I was trying to deal with it all myself which is another point I think you know we should get onto is that, like nobody, this was the biggest thing for me. Nobody was judging me in the situation, except except for me. You know what I mean. I was the only person that was actually judging me. I wasn't judged by the police. I wasn't judged by the police. I wasn't judged by my friends. I wasn't, you know. And when we went to court, I wasn't even you know, the judge wasn't judging me. The only person that was judging me in my actions was me.
Speaker 1:People want to help you. You know what I mean. So it's like you know, reach out, even though you might feel so ashamed of what has happened. It's like, please just do not. You know you, you don't need to go through it on your own. You know, reach out to you, to a, to a therapist, to a friend, to, to anybody, and, and, and and.
Speaker 1:Sometimes, when you're in the situation, I think it can be very hard, because what happens is you can become very isolated, because that is what the person wants. So during all that time, that person was very much like never wanting to go out anywhere, being like oh, you know, your life is so chaotic and so busy. I just want to create this sanctuary for you where you're just safe and you're just with me. They try to cut you off from you know, from all the people around you, so that they end up being the only person that you have. That's part of. That's part of the game they play. That's part of what they do. In the guise of that, they're creating a safe space for you. What they're doing is is the is the opposite? You know, correct?
Speaker 2:and I think that's where it comes down to, when I was saying protecting yourself, not so that you were actually protecting yourself, but we carry so much shame and guilt from what we went through, so we're protecting ourself in that way where we don't want people to see that we're imperfect or that we're allowing this to happen to us and we're all doing it because we're so. We feel so much shame and guilt because we are accepting that into ourselves and we just don't understand why we are. We make excuses, we say lies to our families. When they ask us is everything okay? We say it's okay. When they say or you happy? We say we're happy, but inside we're not happy. We don't feel safe, at least for me.
Speaker 2:I was always very anxious but didn't understand why I had so much anxiety within me. I was always walking on eggshells Am I going to see the right thing? Is the right thing going to come out right? You know, I was always very hyper vigilant. My body was always in flight fight or flight mode all the time when I was in their presence, because I didn't know whether, if I said something that they would react. Another thing that would happen to me I don't know if it happened to you would be if I got compliments or somebody would say you know your girlfriend is very nice, or your girlfriend's very pretty, or you're so lucky that you know you have a girlfriend that's so kind, you know, so caring, you know she, just any kind of compliment. They didn't. I didn't realize that they didn't like that because they weren't the ones that were being complimented on.
Speaker 2:And so the more compliments that I got, the more aggravated and mad that they got, because that meant to that I was like in the spotlight and to me I was just like oh, they're just so nice, so kind, you know, like, like that's a nice compliment for you. And to them, to him, it was more like, well, what am I supposed to do with that compliment? Like it's not about me, it's about you. So why, why should I care? And they have like this complexity of it's me, me, me. And so I'm sure, when you told them, hey, I don't feel that this is the right situation for me, you know I don't, I need to leave, all of a sudden it was you were breaking what they felt, as though nothing would ever happen to them. Which is you leaving, because how dare you leave them? You know they're perfect. Nobody wants to leave them like. They treat you like a queen and their eyes it's like as soon as you left them. That meant something was wrong with them.
Speaker 1:You know you get the blame for they're saying you know, you know I have abandonment issues or whatever it was. You know my childhood and now you're doing this to me. So I remember being saying you know, you know my family's going to hate you and at the time I was like I could what? I don't even know your family. You know what I mean. I've only known you for eight weeks, you know. So it was all. I was like the craziness. You know what I mean. I've only known you for eight weeks, you know, so it was all. I was like the craziness, you know.
Speaker 1:And that was coming from his mouth and and all the stuff that I had been internalizing from what he was saying to me over the relationship. I was like, oh no, like this is, and I was like I don't care. In that moment I was like I don't care. And he said you know what, every time because this would really get to someone like me that has a fear of not being liked or people speaking ill of them was like you know, every time I tell this story, you're going to be the villain From now on in my life. You're the villain. You left me here. It was his birthday or whatever he's like. How could you do that to anybody, to even do that on my birthday? So they attack the parts of you that that are really triggered. I mean, they know they're, you know they're master manipulators. They know exactly what they're doing. Oh, yes, and and then it goes from yeah, from that from abusing you to begging you, you know, to begging you to stay, you know.
Speaker 2:It's a cycle and a lot of people stay a lot longer. And that's where it gets really hard to for people to understand where I wish I could have left. I wish I could have left, why did I stay? And it's a cycle. It's you're.
Speaker 2:You're really addicted to these highs and lows that you get from them, and it's your brain that's addicted to the dopamine highs and lows. So when you're, when your brain is basically saying, hey, I need that fix, I need that high, I need that attention you know they provided to me, you go and let them treat you as though, oh my God, they're showing me validation. Look, they care for me. Oh my God, they're saying they miss me. They're saying they love me. Oh, they bought me this little gift. So then now you're like, oh, they're not that really that bad. No, no, no, they're. You know, they're not that bad, they just were having a bad day. They really are not that bad, they just were having a bad day. They really are not that bad. So then you go back to them because now, oh god, I got my fix. Now, yes, they're here from them, and then these are like the little crumbles that they leave, and then they leave you again. And then again you're like they left you and they know it's like a cycle, because then they're like, oh, I'll reach out now, because I've left her long enough in this silence that now it's like she's ready for that fix. I need to pay attention to her. And so it's understanding that it's just your body needing some kind of form of attention from anything or somebody, and they know this. So now you have to create that form of attention for yourself.
Speaker 2:And once you start saying your body needs this high, your body needs this dopamine, hit Now. You start now saying wait, but I don't want it from that person, I don't deserve it from that person, I deserve it from me. What can I do to give myself that high? And that's when you start now putting yourself first and you start recognizing wait, I know my body's going through this. What am I needing? What am I missing? How can I fulfill it for myself?
Speaker 2:And once you start doing that for yourself, little by little, your dopamine high that you have in that person starts diminishing because you're replacing it with healthier things that you have control over that you're able to feed yourself from. So now, instead of seeking it from that person, now you're able to grasp it from going for a walk in nature, calling up a family member, writing in your journal, just sitting in a quiet space and meditating. You know, if you go to church, sitting in church and just taking in the peace, whatever it is, now you're feeling it with something healthier. So now that dopamine hit that used to be wanting it from them no longer exists. Little by little it starts going away. But it takes time to get to that point. It does take time and the biggest thing that you did is you broke all contact. You broke all contact with them and that is the first thing that you need to do is create absolutely no contact with them.
Speaker 2:And, yes, you care about your character and that was one of the reasons why it was very hard for me to leave, because I deeply, deeply did meet his family and I cared for him family deeply and I don't want him to lie about me and I was like, I was so afraid I'm like he's going to lie about me, he's going to make it all my fault.
Speaker 2:You know I'm the one that was bad to him. I'm the one that you know treated him bad. I'm the crazy one, I'm just all these things and inside of me, my mom finally told me the people who love you, the people who truly know you know those are lies and the ones who don't, they're not meant for you. And that's okay, vivian, and that's what I want you to understand your, your character, is not going to be ruined Because people who truly know you know the kind of person that you are and for that you're not staying. And I would cry with my mom so much and she would listen to me and I was afraid of being judged and being ridiculed and being criticized, and I will say that I did not face that and I think that was the thing that helped me move forward. To what would you say were the things that helped you overcome this part of what you're going through in life, that made you say what you're going through in life, that made you say, okay, I'm going through this, this is hard.
Speaker 1:How can I get through this? What helped you get through this? Yeah, that's a great question. So at the end of it, so just before, I think, knowing that I was going to have to face this person in court really got to me. And then there had been another incident where I could have been killed and and and my children could have been involved, even though this person never had any. You know, I never allowed any contact with my children, but what had happened to me? They could have been if they were with me at the time. They could have. Luckily they weren't. But that guilt was there because I started to go oh, my god, look at the danger I could have. You know, I potentially put my family in. So I completely broke down and I think that had to happen.
Speaker 1:So I went into this huge, I suppose, a storm spiral. I I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I couldn't function, I, you know, and I just had to get to the point where I'm like I can't live like this. You know, I just I couldn't carry on. So so for that, when you know, for about six or eight weeks, I just couldn't do anything, you know, and I didn't know what to do. So my, my sister, had to come and stay with me because I, I, I couldn't look after the kids Cause I, I just couldn't do anything and I was like I'd lost loads of weight, obviously Cause you know I, you know I physically couldn't keep food down and I just wasn't sleeping at all. So for me, initially I went to everybody was saying, if you don't sleep, I felt like I was losing my mind. I was at that point where I was like I didn't know what, where I was up, you know, and so I started off as people saying you need to sleep. So eventually I gave in because I had a big complex about going taking medication. But what I, what I do have to say is there, even though I I try not to, there is a place for it when you're, perhaps when you're starting out, if you're in a position like where I was, medication and getting me leveled out was necessary for me. I was able to wean off it after, you know, after the six months, so I think it's good to say that, like for a period of time, um, that worked for me. So I so I, so I started to sleep, but I was still in a really bad way.
Speaker 1:So my sister had come across the somatic therapist. Now I I had been in talk therapy for a while and she my therapist. I still see her for like, for maintenance, you know. So I see her once a month or whatever, just to make sure everything is okay and if there's anything I need to speak about we talk it out. But she was an incredible help to me in getting me through court. She suggested that I get in touch with women's aid. They were incredible.
Speaker 1:So I'm not sure what the equivalent is in the states, but so, so, like it started with asking for help, you know. So asking for it, so and and. Then in the form of, initially, medication, which after a couple of weeks, you know, started to kick in when I started sleeping and and was able to kind of start functioning somewhat again. And then my, like I said, my sister had spoke to me about the somatic therapist and I was at the point where I was like okay, okay, I, you know I doing, I didn't, I didn't know what it was and I was like that sounds all a bit weird, but I was so desperate for help at that stage and it was life-changing for me, it was the most incredible thing I've ever done so. Somatic therapy is a. So basically, what she explained to me was about the reasons you know, helping me to figure out how I ended up, where I ended up and why. And then the somatic therapy allows you to release trauma from the body.
Speaker 1:And it's all to do with regulating, getting your nervous system in regulation, which is your nervous system, is the skeleton key. You have the vagus nerve, which runs right through all through your body, everywhere. It's like it looks like the tree of life. So you've ever seen the tree of life? That's that's what your vagus nerve looks like in your body and it's it's part of your, it's your central nervous system, so it's connected to everything, so its receptors are connected, so it's from your brain all through your body into your gut, everywhere. So when you're, when your nervous system is dysregulated, you are in fight or flight. So, which is crime? When we're stressed, we're in fight or flight. So what I had to understand and learn was that I had spent most of my life in fight or flight. So that's why I I'm.
Speaker 1:For a long time I had lots of issue, autoimmune disease issues. I was like I thought I was allergic to everything. I couldn't eat anything. Everything would upset my digestive system. I would be chronically sick, with sinusitis, migraines, loads of things I had.
Speaker 1:I'd had an accident a few years previous and had a back injury that I couldn't fix it, no matter what I did, no matter how much physical therapy, no matter what. But then I learned going through the somatic program. So I was in like a mentorship, like a coaching program of somatic therapy and what I began to learn about from my childhood about trauma, about my brain, about my body, about the nervous system that was the key for everything. So understanding, becoming aware, the awareness of everything. So we would go back and I would figure out old patterns or memories, I would figure out where things came from. So the reason why I ended up where I was was because my self-worth was at zero. I had no self-worth, I had no boundaries, I didn't know what they were, as I'd said, and I really loathed myself, I didn't like myself at all.
Speaker 2:And now that we're talking about self-worth, now that you're able to recognize that your self-worth was not where you would like it to be, the person that you viewed in the mirror, you would see her, but you would not see her as somebody who would be worthy of receiving anything more than what you did. What do you think got you in, through your somatic work that made you realize what got you to that place? Because we haven't really told the listeners a little bit about you and I want people to know you. You know, I want them to be able to know what got you here. Who is Tina Brown? Because I believe that people should know who Tina Brown is yeah, so well.
Speaker 1:Now I suppose, in the sense of going through all this and the lessons, I I mean, I could say, you know, you can stay in the part of that. I could have left that be my story. I could have allowed that to be, to be who I was, the girl who was in this relationship, whose life was threatened, who had to go to court. I could have allowed that drama to you know, to continue to unfold and unfold and unfold.
Speaker 1:And what what happens is when you hold onto your story, is you, you're what you're doing, is you're inviting more of the same into your life, because you're, you're admitting you're, you know, you're putting out there to the universe that, well, I, I live in in a vibration of shame and guilt. So, therefore, that's what I want more of. So, for me, in doing all that work and going in internally actually allowed me to figure out who I was. So, because I had spent my whole life trying to be who I thought other people wanted me to be, I knew nothing about myself. You know, like, if you would ask me a few years ago, you know, oh, hey, tina, like what's your favorite book? I'd be like hmm, what should I say?
Speaker 1:I wouldn't say, well, what is my favorite book? My, I would automatically go to what could I say? That will sound intelligent but not too highbrow, like, like, like, as in, I'm not too up myself, but that I am intelligent, and that maybe a bit of humor, because everything was about how I wanted to be viewed, so I didn't actually really know who I was. Yeah, so and and lots of things that that I did, I would. So it's so funny now when I look back so I've I've had loads, of loads of different careers and when, when I look at them, it's like, you know, the reason maybe why I went into them is for validation, because I I never felt as a child. Obviously I didn't feel seen or heard. So you look for that validation outside of yourself, so you create this persona and like on the outside you look super confident and it's like, well, you know, I started off I was in journalism and broadcasting because that gave me kind of some kind of status. Okay, because from when I was a kid, I you had a.
Speaker 1:I had a tough time growing up with my grandmother. She was really tough on me and she really put me down. So that's kind of started off where the self-worth issues stemmed from, and I have worked through that. I've forgiven her because she's no longer with us, but I because I understand now where she was coming from and what had happened in her life and why she was so angry and so mean and why she was mean to me.
Speaker 1:So I think from from on, when you start to understand yourself, then you can start to forgive and understand others, because we can carry a lot of anger and I always think that being really angry with somebody is like you drinking from a poison chalice and expecting them to die. Anger is just something that's just going to eat away and make the parts of you just really, really, really awful and you're not going to overcome that. But yeah, I, when you say I mean you want, so I mean the way that I am now I think I, I'm, I'm learning, like what my path is and where I'm going. So, in terms of, I suppose you asking like who, who am I, what? But what is it? What is it you'd like to know? And then maybe I can. I suppose you asking like who am I? What is it you'd like to know?
Speaker 1:And then maybe I can formulate you know what is it that you'd like to know about me or that you'd like the listeners to hear?
Speaker 2:You know, I think it's important. So a lot of times people think, oh gosh, you know if I welcome this into myself because, like you've said already, I am a woman of integrity, I am a woman who's educated, I am, you know, a mother. I've lived life. Yet you accepted this. A lot of times women view themselves, or men view themselves, in a way where I accepted this to me because I deserve this. I'm nothing, I'm nobody, but you are somebody, I'm somebody, you're somebody, but yet that came into your life.
Speaker 2:And so I feel people need to know that Tina Brown is a proud mother of two. She's a successful woman, she's an independent woman, and yet this is what she attracted. Because when people see Tina, they're like she is a woman who's beautiful, who's great, who has a career, who's doing so amazing. How does she not know? Why didn't she leave? You know, and these are the questions people don't understand and they ask. And then, when they ask these questions, people then start basically feeling it on the inside like is there something wrong with me? Wait, what? A lot of times what you see is a superficial, but what you feel internally, it's quite different.
Speaker 1:And so that's, that's a great that. That's the point to make. So everything is a perception, and I, you know, and we see people and we see things. The way we perceive the world is actually all dependent on how we feel about ourselves and how about what we feel from the inside. So you and I can be in the exact same place at the exact same time, doing the exact same thing, but we will view it completely differently, dependent on where we're coming from, and a lot of that it stems from how you were conditioned as a child. So the way that I viewed the world was based on my self-worth, was based on, like I saying, from when I was a kid, I didn't feel seen, I didn't feel heard, but I came. You know, I came from a really wonderful family and you would have, looking at it, you'd say, oh well, it was a great child and for, for, for my whole life, I was like sure, I had a great childhood, there's nothing wrong there.
Speaker 1:But it's when, when you start to go internally, when you start to do the work, when you start to do the work, when you start healing, you go oh, hang on a second, maybe it wasn't as good as I am projecting now and you have to look at that to seven, and actually some studies are saying older now, maybe up to age 11 or 12, everything that, how we operate, is based on our caregivers. So you, actually your thoughts, aren't really your own. It's all based on what your parents believed, and a lot of stuff can be ancestral because what they believe is based on what their parents believed, and so on and so on. Lot of stuff can be ancestral because what they believe is based on what their parents believed, and so on and so on. So you're, you're bringing forth this with you through your life. So when you get to the point, I suppose, of of where, where I, where I ended up and I wanted to, I said no more, I don't want to live this life, this is not not what I want. You actually, by doing that, you break that chain.
Speaker 1:So when you make a decision to change and not just be like, oh yeah, well, that's the way my family are, so that's the way I am, or saying, yeah, depression runs in my family, so I guess I'm just going to get it, you have the power and the ability to stop that change is possible for everybody. You don't have to, just we. We don't have to settle and just accept the perception of or what society says that we, we should have or we should do. So that's that's how you start to learn who you are. That's how you find true self-worth, that's how you you learn to accept those, and that's a big part, as well as learning to accept all those parts of you. We are not perfect. Nobody, nobody's perfect and there are parts of you and, no matter how much healing, there's always parts of you that will, that will keep coming up and it's to say, like you, this healing and we talk a lot about being on a journey and doing the work and and all that that's a forever path. It is. That's not. There's no destination. We are in a series, life is a series of challenges and it's about facing each one of them with courage, to up level you to the next version. So we're not supposed to stay the same all the time. We're we're evolving constantly and I think it's it's Dr Edith Eager and says so.
Speaker 1:She's the. She's in her 90s now and she's a Holocaust survivor and she's still teaching and she's an incredible. Any of her books are absolutely incredible if you can hear her speaking anywhere. But she asked. She's like are you, are you revolving or are you evolving? So you can't change what happened to you? You can't. You can't change. You know what was done to you, whatever happened to you, but you can change your life from now.
Speaker 1:So are you going to continue to sit in that story? And often people do, because that's the misery. Because we might often ask me, like, why would you want to stay miserable? Because it's comfortable, because it's what, it's what we're used to. So sitting and staying in that, if it's, if it is an abusive relationship like we've been in, if it is that it's, it's. That's what you're, that's what you're used to, that that's what you're comfortable with, that's what your, your ego is like. Yeah, but you like this. It's really hard because that's what you're, that's what you're used to. That's what your body has now said to yourself is your, your normality, your every day, and you're you don't.
Speaker 1:You don't know that relation that love is. It's supposed to be unconditional because of dependent on how you were brought up or what happened to you in your life growing up. There was there, maybe there were conditions with being loved. You were only shown love if you did something like you said you were trying to make people happy all the time. So we don't want to keep revolving in that story. We want to change it and we have to start making that choice.
Speaker 1:For me that you know I got, I had to get to that point where everything was just like the rug was completely swept out from under my feet. What I would love for people to know is that you don't have to get to that point. If you're listening to this and there is some part of you that's resonating a bit, or are starting to hear some of this and think you know some of that sounds a bit familiar and I don't really something in you says, you know, there's something in this I feel like I would like to change. You can do that. You don't have to wait. Don't have to wait for the big life event. You know, often it is when an ill, you know when, when somebody becomes ill, or when they lose someone they love or like something, something awful happens to them. That that's when it happens and I I would love for for people to realize that you, you don't need to wait for that. If there's something, listen to the whispers when we start to come home to ourselves. We, the whispers of what to do and where to go. They're're all there. Your body is a compass and if you listen to it, if you follow it, it won't steer you wrong.
Speaker 1:My big issue was because I had, because my self-worth was non-existent, I ignored my gut. I was told, my gut was telling me over and over again this is wrong. You know, and all kinds of your life, and it's not only just with relationships. Think of it in terms of your career, like if you're, you know, if you're starting to get really, you know, getting sick all the time, you know, and you're, you're, you're kind of miserable in your job, well, that's because you're being told, maybe this is not your path. So it's like what do I want?
Speaker 1:So when, when we go, when we go in, when we go inwards, we actually become better. So when, when we stop, because we, we we're conditioned now to think that we, like, we should be going all the time, all the time, and and if you're not doing something, all the time you are, you know, you're lazy or you're useless or whatever, but actually by slowing down, by stopping, by recharging, that is when you're going to get the messages of what it is that you, like, we can't create from this space of chronic stress that a lot of us are in. We're all creative beings, but you can't create from those spaces. You don't get ideas when you're in that state, you know. So it sounds counterintuitive, but to go forward you need to slow down you need to, like, declutter your, your, your area.
Speaker 2:You need to declutter your mind, and the only way that you could do that is by slowing down and taking time to not only listen to your body, but also to start creating and formulating these different thoughts and mindset within yourself. Because once you start changing the way you view and the way you see yourself, then your thoughts also start changing into something that's healthier. So if your mind tells you Vivian, you are worthy of this, tina, you're worthy of this, whoever's listening, you are worthy of this, then guess what you're going to do. You're worthy of this. Whoever's listening, you are worthy of this. Then guess what you're going to do. You're going to gravitate to what is worth, what you feel it's worthy for you. You're not going to. It's not going to mislead you, because you know you're not worthy of that. Now your boundaries are set to the point where you're like that's unsafe for me. Nope, I'm not going over there. Nope, my body's telling me that's not the safe door. Okay, I'm turning around. Let me turn around, let me go over here. Oh yeah, that feels safe. Oh yeah, this is where I need to be, because now you're being more intentional, more intuitive and you're having more conscious awareness of the choices that you're making in life, instead of now you're rambling on.
Speaker 2:You're going here, you're going there, not really knowing what direction you're truly supposed to go to, because you haven't stayed in your space long enough to listen to your body tell you this is where you need to be, this is where you need to go, and it's being in that quiet zone that it's very uncomfortable, because it's hard for people to quiet their thoughts, it's hard for people to quiet their mind. And so you're gonna get these flashes of those thoughts coming back to you of oh no, I can't do that. You know that's your fear holding you back, that's your self doubt holding you back, that's your shame holding you back. But yet once you start saying oh no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, I could do that. It's just gonna maybe take me a little longer to do that, or I may need to go this way instead of that way to do that, but I can't do that.
Speaker 2:So what's going to happen is you're going to now create this positive world where you're like okay, how am I going to get that done now? How can I do it? Because you're now acknowledging that you're very capable of being that person, of completing that task, of doing that project. You're not holding yourself back, because you're now changing the way you are creating your thoughts in your mind to control your actions, because through your actions and come your behaviors and how you start behaving towards things. So that's why now, instead of reacting to things, you respond to it, because you're taking that space within yourself to say 123. Okay, I've thought of it, okay, this is what I'm gonna do, because you're taking space and that's exactly what you were talking about right now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's as well, because once you, once you start to investigate yourself I kind of say now that I became a detective of myself and investigated every facet of myself and what I did by working on my nervous system regulation and I keep going back to that because to me that is the skeleton key what happens is when you regulate it, you become safe in your body. Yes, and that's what it is. You're creating your own safe space, and once you become safe in your body, then you can start to think about reprogramming the old conditioning. So that's neuroplasticity, where we can recondition. So all those things that we learned, that we were saying were other people's thoughts that were imposed on us and that we just carried forward, and we're saying about you can change your life, but it's changing the way you think and it's it's scientifically proven and it's it's so. It's neuroplasticity of the brain, where you can reprogram all those old thoughts to new thoughts, new actions, and and and. But you can't. You can't help but get a new outcome. Then, when you're changing that, because you're operating from a different, it's like you're operating from a new body, from a new mind, way of way of thinking, and that's what for me I suppose I was always in the head and not in my body. So once I felt because I couldn't be, I couldn't be in my body because it wasn't a safe place to be. So once it became a safe space, then you get back to trusting it. You know, your gut is is telling you the right things, it's sending you in the right direction. But there is. There is all that work to be done initially and what I will say is that it is so worth it. Yes, it, yeah, you know it. It takes time and and as we said, it's, it's, it's a, it's a never, it's the never-ending journey, but it is so worth it.
Speaker 1:So, going in and those moments and feeling uncomfortable and all the time now. So what I say to myself is when I'm at a point where, if I feel like I'm having a bad day or whatever, I'm like, I investigate that I say OK, well, ok, what's going on? What's coming up? What did I just do? Why am I feeling this anxiety? And ask where in the body is it coming from anxiety? And ask where in the body is it coming from? Because the old stories and the old rhetoric it comes back. Because it's from the ego mind and the ego is there as a safety net. You know what I mean. Your ego is actually thinks it's the one, but it protects you. It thinks it's your, your hero. You know so, but you've just got to kind of question that. So we have about 60,000 thoughts a day. 90% of them are lies, you know, because it's coming from that part of the thing. So imagine that I mean that's a lot, that's a lot of a lot of thoughts.
Speaker 1:So, as well, what I will say about working in the somatic therapy, it was yes, so it is yes about releasing old traumas from the body. Because trauma is embodied. We say so, it is, it gets trapped within you. So you talk therapy is is very effective and I am like a very loyal to to that as well but also it it's, it's in you, so you need to release it, and that can be done in so many ways. You can find a joyful way. It could be dancing, because it's movement of the body. So what you need to do is that. So the trauma. When we say trauma is stuck, it's actually trapped energy in the fascia which is all over the body. So we need to release that.
Speaker 1:There are many tools and there are so many places. You can look those up to get small techniques that you can start doing yourself. Access a somatic therapist. There are ways that you can bring in an everyday practice for yourself and use these techniques to help you to release, to release the, to release the, the impacted traumas, and the static energy that's in your body needs to come out when we cry. That's a release and it's good. It's not always like we're not always crying sad tears. Sometimes we have to cry to get it, you know, for to let things out, to let things go, and it can be that I often use dance to just move my body.
Speaker 1:If I'm start, if I'm feeling a bit anxious, if I'm saying like, what have I done? Exercise, you know, if there's a certain form of exercise that you love, if there's something that that you could do that brings you joy, that is actually movement in the body could be singing, it could be chanting, it could be just, it could be your yoga practice, it could be your pilates. If you're a runner, whatever it is, you're actually moving. You just need to move all that stuck energy. So when something's coming up, you investigate. You're like what is this thought? Is this thought real? Where is it coming from? Why is why? And why is it coming up now? Because you might say, well, I thought I dealt with that, but there's more. There's always more layers to peel back in that.
Speaker 1:But when you become the investigator and then you're like okay, I understand that you're going, you, you we can use different techniques to to release it, then but also it's important to say that I don't, we don't do it so that we can run away from the feelings. We need to feel our feelings and I think that's really important to know that as soon as you feel anxious's, not like, oh, what can I do to get rid of this anxiety? It's not about that. It's about figuring out like okay, well, why am I anxious? Okay, I get that now because there's some.
Speaker 1:If you're feeling a certain way, there's a reason you're feeling it. It's like if you're, but if you're feeling joy or you're feeling, you know, if you're just feeling really present, if you're, if it's a good feeling, that's going through you as well, you're like oh, hey, why am I feeling that? That's great, you know what I mean. So it's the same with if it's something that seems like a negative feeling. We look into it, figure out what it is, then we just we're going to release it and let it go. So you're going to. You need to feel it, we don't need to be bypassing all the hard stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's where it's important for people to understand that a lot of times, when we're going through the healing phase or to the phase of understanding ourselves, it's really hard for people to feel those feelings. So they turn to drinking. They tend to do things to mask that feeling in order for them not to feel it. And the problem is, when you start drinking, that's temporary fixture, even if you take medications sometimes. Whatever medications you end up taking, you're fixing the problem temporarily, but you're not facing the bigger, the bigger thing. You know, a lot of people mask it through sexual activities with other people. Oh, that instant gratification, oh, it feels good in the moment. But guess what? That's that moment that it feels good. When you go back into your space, it's still there. So whatever you're suppressing, it's only getting bigger and bigger and bigger. It's not going away. And the bigger the suppression of those feelings get, the heavier you feel within your body, because that's the energy that you have within. And so it's really important, like you said, feel those feelings, understand those feelings. They're telling you something. What are they telling you?
Speaker 2:That's the hardest part of this healing journey, but once you go through it, once you face it. Once you're able to understand what your body is going through, why it feels off balance, why you feel triggered, why you feel that you feel sick all the time, your stomach is hurting, you're having headaches, you're not able to sleep, you're not able to eat, you're completely off balance, like just people's presence. Sometimes it's irritating to you. You don't understand all these feelings that your body's going through. It's you know your hypervigilance, your fight or flight. It's still there. It's not going away. But you want to calm down, but you just don't know how it feels. Hard in the beginning it really does. But the outcome that you're going to get once you start feeling those feelings and understanding yourself, it's so invigorating.
Speaker 2:It gives me just emotional feeling to understand that because I've been there where I was drinking by myself to not feel my feelings. I didn't want to be by myself, so I was always with somebody, you know. But once I started being in my space by myself and not drinking, and journaling and understanding and really becoming in tune with who I am, that's when I started getting the power back for myself and I started realizing I am such a worthy individual. I am such a worthy individual. I am such a great person inside and out.
Speaker 2:But yes, I've been through a lot, yes, I have a lot of trauma, but that shouldn't control who I am and what I accept into my life, and I think that's where the beauty of healing comes from is you're so brave, you're so courageous, because it's not everybody could do that, because you have to be brave and courageous to go through that, to be able to be vulnerable, like right now. We're sharing this story with you and it took a long time for us to get here to share this story with you, but we know that you need to listen to it so you don't feel alone. How invigorating and empowering has this been for you, tina, that you could share with people. That has made such a radical change for you it.
Speaker 1:So knowing, knowing for yourself that you're, you're at a point where there's no shame attached anymore to it, that that you know it's, that, that's that's a pretty good feeling, a very good realization, and when you can drop the story and you know you actually do, you know what you're a pretty good person, just as you. You don't need, when you don't need, this validation from other people or any source outside of you. It's not even doesn't even have to be other people when you, you start to see the beauty in things that you were just blind, you were. You know what I mean. You're you're, you're walking around and you can't see anything because you're you're, you're kind of in your mess. And now you see the beauty in the little things and you're grateful for things that just bypassed you.
Speaker 1:Before, like today, I spent the day at the beach and I and that that has been. I've lived in this same place for like the last seven or eight years and I always said, well, I love the beach, but I hardly ever went because I had resistance to going down there, because I just was, I wasn't comfortable being on my own, like you had said, whereas today, like I got up this morning and I was. I was a bit tired and I knew like that I need, I was like I need nature. You know, it's been a, it's been a big week and I so I went down and I walk. I did the cliff walk when I was down there and I was like I can't leave. So I went and I sat on the cliffs and I did my meditation down there and then I was coming back and I said I'm still not ready to go, I just need to be by the sea today. So I sat by myself for ages. I just grabbed, like, a coffee from one of the coffee trucks and I sat and I just sat there.
Speaker 1:I would not have been able to do that before. There's no way I could have sat on my own. I would have felt like people will think that I you know that I have no friends or that like she's weird sitting there on her own. I, like you know, I adore my own company. I love connecting with people. I'm still I'm a huge people person. Like I love nothing more than like having this conversation with you and feeling connected to others. But I also really enjoy my own company, which is huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge turnaround for me and but knowing and, and being able to listen to myself and knowing that my, my body needed to be by the sea today, so it's like, well, that's what you need, okay. Well, that's what I'm going to give you, without kind of questioning, because you're, you're so safer than yourself. You just, you just know, and I was sitting there and I was like I found myself just sitting there and smiling and I was like oh, I feel, because I've just felt.
Speaker 1:Really, it's the inner, the inner peace. The inner peace is invigorating. Yes, it is being so okay with yourself that you're just good. It's worth all the uncomfortable times and the moments and all the challenges that are still yet to come, because we came here to learn lessons. So everything for me was a lesson. What's huge for me, as well, is to be to be grateful for all that happened, because I know now that it happened for me. Yes, it happened for me to start on the path of purpose. This made so much sense for me.
Speaker 1:A few weeks ago, I did a session with a numerologist and I'd never done anything like that before, but I'd heard her speaking and I was like, oh well, that feels like something I'd never. I'd never done anything like that before, but I'd heard her speaking and I was like, oh well, that feels like something I'd like to do. So she does this thing called a soul session. So she like she, you, so you, you give her your, your time and date of birth and where you were born and all that, and then she brings she does your chart for you. So she said to me oh, tina, she was like would you like to know while you're here. And I was like you can tell me. She's like, yeah, she was like because she's able, she does these soul sessions, so she's able to tell you why, why your soul chose to come to earth, what you're, what you're here for this time.
Speaker 1:And I was like, oh yeah yeah, yeah, yeah I'd love to know and she was like this might sound a bit you know, you know it's. You know she was like it's a bit different to maybe what people think that they're here for. You know that you have a like you know. I suppose we maybe we put kind of labels on types of purpose that you think you're here to to save this person or to, I know, save the bees. You came to save the bees but she said your sole purpose for being on earth this time round is for love oh, that's so beautiful so I.
Speaker 1:She said specifically you are here to learn to love yourself and to then help others to learn to love themselves. That's my soul's purpose on earth this time around oh, I don't, I am so beautiful and I was like Gráinne.
Speaker 1:That just that makes sense to me now, whereas if I had gone for a reading with her a couple of years ago, I wouldn't have even been able to take that on.
Speaker 1:But now, having been through everything and having learned the lessons'm like, yeah, because that's that's what I've been learning to do, that's what they're the whispers of my soul have been all this time, having to overcome the feelings of, you know, the, the zero self-worth you know, coming coming across that with, with my grandmother, making me feel like I was so unloved.
Speaker 1:You know, as a teenager, like all the, the facets of my life, where you know, in these terrible relationship that you know it was all, you know what I mean, it's all leading up to these things and now it's like that makes that, makes total sense for me and I am, I am, I love that, that's my, that, that's my soul's purpose and it makes sense to me now and, however, I am supposed to do that now.
Speaker 1:So I continue, you know, I continue on my own journey of going in and loving and loving myself, and but it's to do with loving all parts of myself, like we were saying, the good, the bad and the ugly because they're not all light, like every part of us isn't light, you know so. And it's loving learning to love the old parts of myself, the old versions of myself, and not not being ashamed of those parts, but looking at them. I look at Tina from last year, a year ago, and then two years ago, and then 10 years ago and 20 years ago, and instead of being so embarrassed about things that you did or the way that you were operating your life, those systems and patterns that you were in, I love all those parts of me. I just look and I just, you know, want to give those those old versions of Tina just a big hug and tell her it's okay, like I'm here for you.
Speaker 1:Now I do a lot of inner child work with myself, you know, with other people you know with, with clients and stuff, and I you know, because we can go back now I'm sorry my camera just lost itself, but we can, so so we can go back and tell, because that's where you know you're. A lot of the time the stuff that's coming up is it's it's the older versions of you appearing. It's you know, it's six-year-old you, seven-year-old you when, when you started to feel so unloved. It's that part of you. It's coming up.
Speaker 1:So it's to sit to sit with that and I I do a lot of meditations on the, on the inner child, to go back and to hold them and say you know what, I've got you. I've got you. You don't need, you, don't need to worry anymore. I'm here for you and I'm going nowhere, because that's that's all you ever needed to hear when you were a kid. You are loved, you are worthy, you are enough just the way you are. I love you, I've got your back, I am never leaving you, and you would be so surprised of what that can do for you.
Speaker 2:I mean it. It does nothing but wonders for you. I, as soon as I started working on my inner child and I also do somatic work. It's not easy. It was a little challenging for me because I couldn't let my inner child out. I couldn't see my inner child. I was really trying to see my inner child come out to me, but she was so scared to come out of that place of where she felt she was protecting herself. And so that's inner child is me. And so once I told my inner child, you're safe, I'm here for you, I'm here to protect you, I'm here to let you know everything that you want to hear and you deserve to hear as a child. I'm here to give it now to you was able to change and let that child come out of me. And it's still work. I'm still working on my inner child, but it's the best thing that I've been doing before so long.
Speaker 2:I've suppressed so much pain and so much anger and so much shame and so much guilt for what I went through that I was identifying with that person. I was identifying with the shame and the pain and the guilt that I went through, and it's not for me to carry. I shouldn't feel shamed or guilt for what other. First, what somebody else did to me, that's not for me to carry, that's not my fault, you know. And I, once I started acknowledging that and once I started accepting that that is me, that is them, who am I, and working on myself and my inner child and my somatic healing and just recognizing me as my person, that's when change started to happen. And it was, and it's the most beautiful thing for me to look at myself now and love myself in totality. I love the person that I am now, but not only that. I love the person that I've become Because of what I went through. I had to go through that, that part of life. I had to, and I know it's hard for people to understand that, but if I didn't go through that, I wouldn't be who I am right now, because I wouldn't value myself the way I value myself now. I wouldn't realize the worth that I am and what I have. And so when you say right now you just said a little bit ago how we're here for a purpose and everything we've gone through is for a higher purpose, and when we're going through it, we may not understand what that higher purpose is at that moment in time, but what I could say now is that I went through all that pain. I went through all that abuse and struggle and and trauma, and I saw what certain people in my family went through all that pain. I went through all that abuse and struggle and trauma and I saw what certain people in my family went through. I know now that all that I went through was for me to help others realize that, yes, you went through that, but that is not you.
Speaker 2:This is you, the strong, powerful person who overcome the what people would consider impossible to overcome. I overcame the impossible. I overcame the impossible because I chose to, because I don't want to be controlled by my past. I want to live in my present, to create the future that I'm deserving of, and for that I had to go within myself and heal and still to continue to heal that inner child, because every day we're learning something new about ourselves, but now we're not afraid to learn that part about ourselves. Now what we do is embrace it, we hug it, we tell you I love you.
Speaker 2:What can I do? How can I learn from this? And so I want you to leave the listeners with. You've said so many powerful things to. You're an amazing strong woman and you've said so many amazing powerful things and I want you to leave the audience with how you feel about yourself today, now that you've overcome that, and the beauty that you feel when you see yourself and you tell yourself I am worthy when I think, as a woman particularly and I'm sure men go through this, but I don't understand it from a man's perspective right, when I see myself in the mirror now I think, girl, you're all right, right, I.
Speaker 1:But it's not about that. I like who I am, I like I. I don't just like her, I love her. I love who I'm becoming, because I know that there's so much more out there for me and I am so excited and I have no idea what is there. But I know now that the possibilities are absolutely limitless and I know that I am capable and worthy of achieving anything I want. All the things that I see for myself in the future. They're all mine, they're all mine future, they're all mine, they're all mine.
Speaker 1:My soul's already been there, yes, so I know that you're just remembering. So every day we have to remember, to remember what it is that we want, what we're here for, and and even knowing and, and, because I said, I know that the, that a numerologist told me what you know, what my soul's purpose was. I knew that anyway. I know. I knew that anyway, you know things. You know you, as I said, your body is a compass and it's telling you, it's you letting you to, to move in those directions all the time. Trust it, trust yourself. Everything that you ever dreamed of is already yours. You've just got to match it. It's not that far away. Things are not as far away from you as you think they are. And the biggest thing for me is to trust. My word for this year was trust my word. For last year I didn't pick a word, but by the end of the year I knew it was.
Speaker 1:Letting go was where I was all about. Last year it was, you know, letting go and not to be afraid. Please don't be afraid of letting go. I know it's difficult, but when you're going through this and when you're on your journey, shedding is inevitable. You're going to shed, you know you're going to shed the old versions of yourself You're going to, you're going to. People are going to fall away places, situations, jobs. Just trust that it is all for your higher self. It is all happening for you, not to you. Life is happening for you. Don't be afraid of it. It takes.
Speaker 1:We're all full of fear all the time, but if you can grasp the 20 seconds of radical courage just to take the first step towards the thing that you want. You're already there. That's all it is. It's taking the first step and then waiting for the whisper of what's next and just enjoy the journey. Don't forget about the destination journey. Don't forget about the destination. It's actually the joy and everything that you want is in the journey of getting to where you think that you want to go. It's in the lessons that you learn as you're going. It's the challenges that you face and that you overcome.
Speaker 1:It's the up leveling that's happening all the time. On those days where you feel icky and you're anxious and you're you're, you think you're completely lost. Please know that actually they're. They're the times where you're being told by your higher self that the up leveling is happening, it's coming. If you're ever in that moment where you're, you're like, well, I can't go back and I don't really want to and I don't seem to be able to move forward and I seem to be in this kind of I suppose, what would you call it? This kind of purgatory that it might feel like a purgatory, that you're, you're, you're stuck in this kind of space in the middle in a cave and you can't come out, like you can't come out right, that's because you're about to up level.
Speaker 1:You're about the new version. The next version of you is, it is on its way and that just feels a bit. Just sit into it, just feel it, just know that you're actually in the overcoming when you're sitting in that part and know that you are enough today. You were enough yesterday, you've always been enough and you always. You are enough today. You were enough yesterday, you've always been enough and you always will be enough, just as you are right now, in this very moment. Love every part of yourself and just believe that you are worthy because you are.
Speaker 2:Because you're the same person you were yesterday as you are now. There's no difference. That person is you. It's just now. You accept yourself for who you are and that's the beauty of it. You look at yourself in that mirror For me, when people ask me have you ever fallen in love? And now I could say yes, because I'm falling in love with me 100%. And that's what it is, and that's when you start finding your self-worth, you start knowing what it is to be in love, because you start loving yourself.
Speaker 1:And that is the unconditional love, and that comes from within you. And that is the unconditional love and that comes from within you and that's the biggest trick of this whole existence the love, joy, connection, success. It's all an inside job and you have, it comes from. It comes from nowhere else. It's an an inside job and that is just it.
Speaker 2:So I want to leave the listeners with just that for you to know that you are enough, you are worthy and you are deserving of the best. And that's what we're here to give to you to let you know you are not alone in this journey of life. There is no destination to reach, because that means that we won't we will stop growing and we will never stop growing. We will continue to grow every single day, and that is what we're here to do to learn, to grow and to create an abundant life for ourselves. So thank you, tina, for coming on the Self-Worth Revolution podcast and bringing your wisdom and awareness and your love to our listeners, because they're so deserving of knowing they're not alone in this journey of life.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and thank you so much, vivian, for having me on. I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation and I hope that whoever needs to hear this, they'll find it and it will find them.
Speaker 2:Thank you for taking your time and connecting with me on this beautiful journey of life. Please subscribe and review, and don't forget to follow so you don't miss out on any of these amazing and empowering episodes. Always remember you matter. If nobody has told you today, I am here to tell you that you are enough, you are worthy and you are deserving of the best. Every day that you wake up, I want you to take one moment and just look at yourself in the mirror and know that the person staring back at you is so proud of you and loves you beyond measures. You are a true warrior.