Episode 161 | Confidence Is a Skill; Here’s How to Build It - Tracy Hooper

If you’ve ever walked into a room and felt like an imposter—or wished you could speak up with more confidence—this episode is just what you need. (I know, because I'm right there with you!)

I made immediate changes based on my energizing conversation with Tracy Hooper, founder of The Confidence Project and author of The Now Hello. Tracy is a former TV news anchor who now teaches leaders how to speak clearly, show up powerfully, and build trust in every interaction.

The good news is that you don't have to "fake" confidence, it can be learned! In this episode, Tracy gives you specific actions, words and phrases to use. Oh, and don't miss her list of words to LOSE!  

If you want to feel more confident, command respect and create genuine connections you’ll get a lot out of this episode.

🎧 Listen now and get ready to make simple changes that will impact every area of your life. 

About Tracy Hooper:

Tracy Hooper is the Founder of The Confidence Project, where she helps leaders and teams elevate their presence, communicate with clarity, and build stronger workplace relationships. A former TV news anchor and reporter, Tracy brings her expertise in storytelling and on-camera presence to keynote speaking, team training, and 1:1 executive coaching. Her clients include Nike, Intel, Microsoft, eBay, and The Mayo Clinic.

She’s the author of The NOW Hello: What to Say | What to Do in the World of Work, a practical guide to building confidence and connection—whether remote, hybrid, or in person. Tracy’s practical, down-to-earth approach gives people more control over how they show up, more impact in their communication, and more influence in their work.

When she’s not speaking or coaching, you’ll likely find Tracy hiking with her husband, Henry. They’ve walked the Camino de Santiago in Spain and regularly explore the Columbia River Gorge.

Reach Tracy:

Websites

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YouTube

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Transcript

My guest today is Tracy Hooper, founder of the Confidence Project. Tracy knows how to connect with people quickly and reconnect with people she's met before, even if sometimes she can't remember their name. Tracy's background is in broadcast TV news as a reporter and anchor. Her most recent book, the Now Hello is considered to be the Confidence Playbook for how to present ourselves in the world of work today.

Her Confidence Project clients include Nike, Microsoft, and MTV. Tracy, welcome to the podcast. Delighted to be here. Thank you for the opportunity. Kay. My pleasure. I have to give a shout out to Patricia Fripp. You listening will hear her name a lot because she's sending me some incredible. Guests like Tracy and Tracy, you just offered to connect me with a few more guests, so I can't wait.

Appreciate that. Yes, this confidence. Such a great topic, not just for listeners, but full disclosure for me. I think we all struggle with confidence sometimes. I'm surprised at how many times when I talk to the women on this podcast who are so successful, uh, when they come clean, they are. Also struggling with confidence, even at high levels of success.

So you have really powerful strategies to help us with this. So I can't wait to dive into that. But first, let's, let's get some of your background. Tracy, tell us about who you are. Where have you been? Where have I been? What have I been, where have you been? Here you go. Uh, I am one of six children. I grew up in Baltimore, Maryland, to a big family.

I'm the second of six, four girls and two boys. And I was an English major in college. I was gonna major in nursing, but I was a terrible science student. And one day I called home in the middle of my sophomore year and I said, mom, I think I'm failing out of school. And she said, what do you mean? And I said, well, I'm getting A's and B's in my English courses.

But I'm getting D's and F's in my science courses. And she said, Tracy, why don't you change your major? And I thought, ah, if I'm not a nurse, what am I gonna be? And my mother said, why do you have to be anything? Why can't you just be educated? I thought, what a great one. Great idea. And I, I ran down to the South administration building at the University of Maryland and changed my major to English and I never looked back.

Um, I was a college admissions counselor for a few years, and then I went into broadcast CB News. I was a reporter and an anchor at several CBS affiliate stations on the East coast. That's my early career. And then the confidence project many years later. I love that. Well, why do you have to be anything?

That's, that's a wonderful line. I think of that. Who said this? Uh, be yourself because everyone else is taken, already taken. That's right. So just be yourself and you don't have to, I love that. Pigeonhole yourself maybe into some specific. Thing that you have to call yourself. So very interesting. Yeah. So of course we're here to talk about the confidence project.

As I said, this is a huge, uh, topic for women especially. I don't know if we talked about that before, but I think women, do you agree that women have a more of a problem with being confident, or do you think that's not necessarily true? Uh, I don't know the statistics around it. I think women are more apt to tell you they're not confident or they may.

Act as if they're not confident. But I think men have the same issues. They go into meetings, they don't always know the answer, but you know, Sheryl Sandberg Sells, says very clearly in her book, lean in that if, if a, if a man's asked to do a job, if he knows 30% of the work, he'll raise his hand to absolutely hired me.

A woman feels like she needs to know 70 or 80%, and Cheryl Sandbrook says, why would you wanna go do a job that you know most of what it takes to do? Stretch yourself. Trust yourself that you don't need to know everything, but that you have the intellect and the drive and the capability of learning. And that's where, that's where the fun happens.

Is it nerve wracking? Yes. But it's very satisfying to do something that you haven't done before. So I think that women perhaps talk about not being confident, the imposter syndrome and the like, but I think it's, it's the human condition. And look, we're all confident in certain areas. I mean, I know my lane, if you asked me to talk about physics or politics or education, I couldn't do that.

But in terms of confidence skills that people can use in any situation, what I know for sure is that confidence can be learned. There's a part of confidence that's in our genes, that's a part of the personality we were born with, but the rest of it comes from taking action. We take action, we make mistakes, we adjust re, we refine and we repeat over and over and over again.

Just look at anyone who's a good athlete. I mean, we're, Wimbledon is going on right now. It, we have no idea. How much those athletes practice. We have no idea what happens in the off season for the NFL or the NBA or the WNBA or any sports team. And it's the same with chess or coding. It all takes practice, but once you learn the skills, you have them for the rest of your life.

And that's what's exciting about this work. That is very exciting that we can, we can learn that. And so don't be, uh, d discouraged if you don't always feel confident. An excellent point. We're all confident in some areas or more confident in some areas than than not, and of course we do. We learn more from our failures.

If you only wanna succeed you, you're not gonna really make the most of your potential. So those are excellent points and, and I wanna get into those so we can help the listener right away. And as I said, help me too. Uh, I, let's talk, first of all, how did you learn, how did you learn to be at ease talking with anyone?

I assume it has to do with your broadcast background or, or tell, tell me where did that come from? Well, it started in my family, you know, one of the values that my parents. Instilled in us was to have dinner together every night, and my father worked sort of interesting hours. He wasn't always home for dinner, but we always had dinner as a family and everybody had a chance to talk.

Everybody learned to listen and we were as interested in Tommy's wrestling match as Meg's spelling bee, as Libby's play rehearsal, as Vince's lacrosse game. It didn't matter. Everybody had to be interested in each other. And my mother was really good. We didn't know this at the time, but there's a, there's a strategy to help people feel confident talking called amplification.

And this was a strategy that was developed. By the women of the first Obama White House. It didn't have a fancy name back when I was growing up, but they noticed early on that they were being overlooked and talked over and interrupted when they would bring up an idea or have something to say. So these senior women came up with his strategy that if one person talked, let's say Kay talked.

You got interrupted, then Louise would repeat what you said and give you credit for it, amplifying what you had to say. And that's what my mother did. She would say, Tommy, hang on a second. Okay, Meg, finish up. What'd you wanna say? And then Meg would finish. And then Tommy got to speak again. So we learned how to have conversations, and we also had.

We had other people at our table. We had neighbor kids for dinner. My grandparents would come over once a week. My other grandmother would come over once a week. We learned how to be in conversation. So there's that. And then when I was a TV news woman, it really was about. Ultimately learning how to treat everyone as if they are the most important person in the room because they are.

When you're speaking with someone, don't look over their shoulder for somebody cooler or more important to come along. Don't look at your watch. Don't pick up your cell phone. If you treat someone as if they are the most important person in the room, they will respond to you and. In TV news, most people on the street do not wanna be talking to a news crew.

So you have to learn and make connections fast with people. Intro, you know, and introduce myself using my first and last name. I'm, I'm a big proponent of using your last name. Think your name is a part of your personal and professional identity. There are many K's in the world. There are many Tracy's in the world, but there's only one of you with your eye color and your fingerprint and your own unique name.

So use your full name. I would shake someone's hand. I'm a big believer in a firm handshake. I can, the sidebar here, I can remember one time I was, um, at a, a luncheon here in Portland, Oregon where I live, and one of the guests there was a designer, an architect of bridges, and Portland is known as Bridgetown, USA.

We have eight beautiful bridges across our Willamette River. And I was eager to meet him. So I went up to him and I said, oh, hello, my name is Tracy Hopper. And I shook his hand and he said, wow, you really have a firm handshake for a woman. And I said, well, thank you. You know, you really have a firm handshake for a man.

And both of us laughed because he realized the absurdity. Of course, I have a firm handshake web to web. That's the way you get a good handshake. So use your first and last name, shake someone's hand and look people in the eye. And if it's tricky for you to look someone in the eye, just look at the bridge of their nose.

Mm-hmm. It's a great fake. That's the secret to making people feel like you're happy to meet them. It's your pleasure. And then you start the conversation and I, it, it came, it didn't come naturally. I learned it early on. But the good news is, I mean, I work with people of all different kinds of backgrounds.

Um, many people who consider themselves to be reserved or quiet or shy or introverted, and. And they can learn these skills as easily as everyone else, because when you focus on the other person, then it doesn't become about you. You're not worried about what you're saying or what it sounds like. I mean, of course you're gonna participate in a conversation, but it's really about the other person.

And if you focus on the other person, any conversation can happen. Well, I've been taking some notes, so if you saw me not making eye contact, I have a good excuse. If you've ever been part of a conversation where the person isn't looking at you, you know how. Icky that feels, it makes you feel invisible if they're looking for someone better or sometimes there's a three-way conversation and the person will only look at one person.

Have you ever been to that situation? Yes. I I, it's so awkward. Even if they're talking with you, you're always looking at the other person trying to draw them in. But I have to give your, your mom props. Number one, how awesome that she did that and. Maybe it was intentional that she had six kids so she could have some repartee around the dinner table.

I only had one brother, and then I am an only child. But what a gr what a great points and great practice to say, okay, let's listen to you and let's ask you questions, Tracy, and then let's go to your brother and, and listen to that person and have some discussion. Right? These are skills, you know, I don't know if I'm.

Just sounding like an old person, but it seems like they're getting worse. People used to be more engaged in all the stuff we have going on with social media and everything has taken that away. Absolutely kay. And the point is, I think you can tell from the culture that people are hungry. To connect with each other, but they don't know how.

They feel like they're having a relationship with their companion on AI or someone they're texting. I used to say to my girls, we have three daughters. When they were growing up, they said, oh, I talked to Sally today. And I said, did you talk to Sally or did you text Sally? Oh, I texted her. Well, that's not talking to her.

That's texting and there's so much value to picking up the phone and calling people, and this may be interesting to your listeners. You know, when you are deciding, should I re respond to that email by an email or should, should I respond in some other way, pick up the phone and say, Kay, I was just thinking about you.

I just got your email today and I wanted you to hear my voice to let you know how much I'm. Looking forward to being on your podcast. I wanted you to hear my voice. I learned that from my own business coach, Mark Leblanc, who's in Minneapolis. He says that call up your clients and say, I wanted you to hear my voice, to let you know how much I'm looking forward to the presentation, or how much I appreciated the email that you sent me, or the letter that you sent in the mail wanted you to hear my voice.

There's no replacement for that. No matter what good writer you are, email doesn't cut it. Let people hear you. The essence of you. That reminds me of how people text and, and email and get things. Things go south no matter how many emoticons you put in there, or punctuation, whatever things can be misconstrued, the whole, uh.

Attitude or, or whatever you're, you know, I don't know how to describe it, you know what I mean though? Yeah. Uh, just print on paper doesn't do it. Or print on the online. I like that. I wanted you to hear my voice because I want you to hear how excited I am, right. Or how grateful I am, or how much I'm looking forward to, or how much I appreciate the person you recommended me to.

Thank you very much for being an advocate for me. People love that, and most of the time you'll get voicemail, and my suggestion is to keep it short, every voicemail should be under 30 seconds, preferably 20. Nobody wants to listen to it, and sometimes I'll leave a voicemail for someone and then I'll follow up with an email that says.

Hi, Kay. I just left you a voicemail to let you know how much I appreciate you inviting me to be on your podcast. I'm following up with this email to let you know that I'll see you Thursday at two o'clock. So now that prompts the person to, oh, she just have to voicemail to listen to your voice. Almost always.

I get a voicemail, but that's okay. I can move on. I've, I've had the chance to connect with that person. We digress. Kay? No, because I, I want to add something to that because I love that point because as a salesperson, this is something I do and I recommend to my, the people I help, is that if you do leave a message, even if it's a voicemail there, your email, it subject line can be following up to my call.

Yes. That puts you like light years ahead of everyone else who's just say, I'm says, I'm emailing you to blah, blah, blah. Right, and I would add if you are uncomfortable leaving a voicemail or you're worried you're going to talk too long, print it out or you know, type it on your laptop and then read from your laptop when you're on the phone, because as my wise mother says, without notes, we wander.

We wander, we're gonna make it a short voicemail, but then you get sidetracked and you go in another direction and the next thing you know it's a minute and a half and it's mostly boring. When you're hoping it says press to approve or rerecord, please gimme that option I that gimme a do over. That's exactly right.

Very good. All great points. Let's move into what we're really here for. I want to have you tell us about words to lose and words to use. You have some specific, really specific words and ways of phrasing things, et cetera, that will help us. So you're on stage now for sure. Let's, let's go. To lose and words to use.

Many people wanna elevate their communication skills, but we don't know really what we are saying. As my wise mother says, we can't hear ourselves. We don't really know how we sound. We don't really know the phrases that we use repetitively without any thought. I was, uh, at a conference a couple of weeks ago and one of the presenters said, right.

At the end of nearly every sentence to the point that it was so distracting, I thought, I feel sorry for that person. They had no idea. And no one has had the courage to say, stop saying, right? But it's a habit and we are influenced by our culture in large part. I mean, language changes. We don't say how art thou anymore.

We do have certain phrases in our current culture that are overused and right is one of those. But I like to begin with the fillers. We know them. Uh, um, you know, like, but there's another filler that people use often. It is thing, here's the thing, the thing I'm thinking about, we have so many, the thing is, yeah, the thing is, and Patricia Fripp, who recommended that you and I meet, says this.

If it weren't a thing, what would it be? Would it be a goal, an idea, a takeaway? Um, a consideration, an outcome? What is that thing? She says? Specificity builds credibility. You wanna be more specific, more credible, be more specific with your language. Those are fillers. Hedges isn't, are are other words that people use all the time without really thinking about them.

And hedges are words that we use according to linguists because we want to not come on too strong. We don't want people to think that we're all that, or that we're being too aggressive or too pushy, and therefore, instead of being straightforward, we hedge. And one of the number one hedge words is just. I just have a quick question.

I'm just wondering, I, um, I just, I'm just looking for alignment. I, I, I'm just circling back. What are we doing? It's as if we're trying to justify what we're saying. We don't need to use, that is a word that now you can say, I was just thinking about you. You look just like your sister. Uh, we, we paid our taxes just in time.

That's appropriate to say just, but how many times have you said, oh, I just wanna say really fast. When, when we, if we're going to be, if we feel as if we're gonna be interrupted, we, we, when we get nervous or anxious, we cram a lot of words together and we use those fillers or hedges. The best way that you can practice not using any of those.

Is to practice the power of pause. Pause. The power of pause. So I just have to take a pause there and say, I say write too many times. I say, you know, too many times. And as you were talking about just, it's almost. As if I'm trying to say like, not say like, it's almost as if you're apologizing for what you're saying.

I just, I just wanted to ask and you're, you're actually devaluating devaluing, devaluing yourself and what you have to say, and I know you have some really interesting information about power and how you perceived, so It is, it's a habit as I. Edit my podcasts. I have a program I told you that takes out those filler words and sometimes there will be hundreds and hundreds of filler words.

And we are, we're in the habit and we don't like silence. I, since we talked before, we've talked once before, we won't go into that whole story, but I have been more conscious of that. And it's not that I don't use any filler words. I certainly do, but I like the way it sounds more streamlined. And it's more, it's better communication.

So what word have you dropped or you're working to drop or, or lessen? The main one is, you know, and it, it so seamlessly gets into my sentences that I can't even edit it out because I'll say I was going to the store and then, you know, we would, yes, it's just right in there. I also do notice a lot of times I say, right, mm-hmm.

I should ask you if you have another suggestion for a different word. Probably a lot of 'em, but I, I will at the end of a sentence, I'll say, right. Yeah. But that's as if you're trying to look for valid validation from people. You don't need people to nod their head and validate everything you're saying.

You could. I remember one time we was having, we were, we were, all, our family was having sushi at a restaurant, and Kathleen, our youngest daughter, was at one end of the table and I was at the other, and we were both taking a bite out of the same sushi selection. And I looked at her and she looked at me and I said, right.

Like, this is so good. That's different. Perfect word. And, and I'm going to tell you, it's not about losing these words forever. It's about being conscious of overusing them. You don't need to say, right, you don't need to get validation. And that could be. It, it, it would be like the French say nepa, you know?

Correct. Is it not? Or the Canadians say a we every culture has their words that they, that they reflexively say, but trust that what you're saying is worthy. And embrace the pause. You know, before a comedian delivers a punchline, they pause. That gets people's attention. Trust yourself. We know those, uh, um, justice is one of them.

Sort of, kind of, I kind of think this is an issue. I sort of think we should reevaluate this. What does that mean? Should we or shouldn't we? Here's another one. A little. This is a hot hedge. Kay. By that, I mean it's everywhere. This word. I wanna tell you a little bit about myself. I'm a little concerned. I'd like to offer a little pushback.

Would you be open to a little feedback? What is a little feedback? If you say a little feedback, does that mean it's so minuscule that you don't have to worry about it? But I'm gonna tell you anyway because. I want you to know, or if you say a little, does it make it sound like it's not going to be a big deal, and therefore your feelings won't be hurt?

The point is feedback delivered well is a gift. People help us to see our blind spots. People help us to manage our careers when they give us good feedback. Many people are not good at it, but it's stronger. Instead of saying, you know, may I offer you a little feedback? You could say, would you be open to some feedback about the conversation yesterday?

Would you be open to, I'd like to offer a little pushback. I'd like to offer pushback here. I just have a quick question. I have a question. Is now a good time for questions? It's stronger than using those, those hedge words. And I will also sidebar this to say, pick one word or phrase that you wanna lose or use every 30 days.

Because if we try to lose every single hedge or filler or disclaimers, which I'll talk about next, we would feel overwhelmed and not get rid of anything. Psychologists tell us, it takes us one month, 30 days to gain a habit and 30 days to lose it. So give yourself some grace. Know that if you decide, I'm gonna stop using the word right.

If you go from 50 times a day in the course of many conversations to 45 times a day, that's progress Girlfriend. It is, and it makes a significant, significant impact. I think just by talking with you, and as I mentioned, we have talked before, it's made me pay closer attention to all of these things, and so awareness is the first step.

Even before you make that decision, I'm, I'll get rid of this word or that word or phrase. So I think everyone listening, me being reminded of this, it helps you pay attention and be aware of that, that that phenomenon that we are so afraid of silent. We want to fill that in. I like that example of a comedian, right?

If you just run in the, the whole, you know, a, a joke is like a puzzle and it's that surprise factor and all of the things that have to go into a joke and you have to have give the person a time to, to think. Yes. So I think that's a great. Great example. We we're zipping through the time because everything's so fascinating.

I want to talk now about words that you should use to make your communication better, and as you've talked about before, really make you seem perce be perceived as more powerful, more confident, and people to take you more seriously. Yes. Well, first of all, when we, when we start getting rid of words that don't elevate us, it makes us feel better about ourselves.

For instance, let's talk about the word, I'm sorry. We over apologize, especially in this country. I can only speak for, you know, being an American, but we tend to over apologize. Now the Canadians say, oh, we apologize all the time. And the Brits. I had this wonderful client in the UK who says, you know, we, Brits are a proper lot.

Somebody bumps into us. And we apologize, and that happens. But I have to think about the fact that it is cultural. It could be the way you grew up. It could be a lot of, and of course, if we've made a mistake, if there's been a misunderstanding, if you hurt someone's feelings, absolutely apologize. Or if you wanna express empathy, you know, I'm, I'm sorry this is happening for you.

What do you need me to know? What can I do for you? But think about the times when we over apologize, for instance, we say. I'm sorry. You seem upset. It's stronger to say, it looks like you're upset, Louise, how can I help you? Now? You're not taking responsibility for someone else's issues, whatever they're going on.

I'm sorry, I don't understand. It's stronger to say. Would you clarify that point please? Could you repeat? Repeat that second question or that second paragraph? I'm sorry. I don't know the answer. Well, we don't. Necessarily have to know any answer you could say, teach me how to do this, educate me. I don't have the answer, but I can get it for you by on Monday.

So switching from, I'm sorry to thank you, can also make a big difference. People often say, you know, I'm, I'm sorry I'm late. They could say, thank you for your patience. If they're a minute late. If you're 20 minutes late, that's a whole different kettle of fish. But switching from, I'm sorry to thank you.

I'm sorry to ask this question. You don't have to say that. Thank you for the opportunity to ask this question to say to someone, I'm sorry. I disagree. It's stronger to say I have another perspective. I have a different opinion. Here's how I see it. You might not be sorry that you disagree. Well, exactly.

You probably aren't. Sorry. You disagree. So, so why say that? It's like, oh, is this okay for me to disagree? Yes, it's okay. Yes it is. And in fact, people, we want people to be open to our opinion. Now, we don't wanna say, I disagree, you're wrong. Right. I have a different Right. Right. But there are all kinds of ways now.

So let's talk about disclaimers. Disclaimers are other groups of words that we use because we want to seem like we are humble or modest, but they don't really make us sound confident. So for instance, if somebody says something like, um, let me think of an example. I'm gonna look at my notes here. Oh, uh, I could be overthinking this.

Well, everybody. Thinks through issues differently. You could say, let's dig deeper. If somebody says, oh, oh, you know, this is just my 2 cents. I'm no expert, this is just my 2 cents. It's stronger to say, what if we try this? If somebody says, jump in, if you think I'm missing something, why would we ask someone to jump in before we even start talking?

You know, that's, how often have you heard people say, jump in if you think I'm missing something. It's stronger to say something to the effect of, I'd like to present my idea and then I'd love to get your feedback. Now you can, you have and I a chance to speak what you want to say without asking people to look for problems before they've even said it.

Here's another one. Oh, you've been doing this a lot longer than I have. You know, what do I know? Or you could say, in my experience. There are all kinds of ways that we can shift our language. It's very subtle, very small, but I, I believe that, you know, we all have a voice and our own voice and the shifts that we can make to our language can be game changers in the way people see us, the way people perceive us, and the way we perceive ourselves, right?

We're all listening to ourselves all day long. All day long, sometimes all night long, we talk on our sleep. So I do wanna make sure that we get to some of the words that you should use in place of those words that are, that we need to get rid of. We need to lose those words. Then what are some examples of words that we can add to our vocabulary in our communications too?

Be more clear, be more confident, be more powerful. Yeah. Well, first of all, as I, as I talked about switching to thank you, instead of apologizing anytime, you can say thank you. Um, and then instead of, uh, this is just my 2 cents, you could say, from my perspective, in my experience what I know, what I know after 15 years in the tech industry or in medicine or education or the law, what I know, another phrase to use is I recommend.

Uh, there was a study done at the University of Pennsylvania and Dr. Jonah Berger and his research associates found that when, when people said, I recommend versus, I think, or I like, or I believe that, that people were 32% more likely to go with their recommendation to go with their recommendation, I recommend is a strong one.

Uh, oftentimes people say, bear with me. It's stronger to say, I'd appreciate you hearing me out. This is complicated. This is a new subject for me. And if you can use that kind of language, it can really shift the way people see you. You want some more? Well, those are all very powerful. Something that we talked once about once before about, I wanted to just make this point that we were talking about how some people.

And every sentence going up, I'm Kay Miller. And today with me is Tracy Hooper and she founded the Confidence Project or So talk about that real quick. 'cause I think that's something that's so easy to fix and it's so annoying to me when I hear people do that, including when I hear myself do it, but I don't usually.

No, you don't. Kay. I haven't noticed it. Once in fact, the way you said it just now was so exaggerated that it's really helpful for people to hear it that way because again, we can't hear ourselves and one of my recommendations is to record yourself te tell a, tell a friend or a family member, I wanna record our conversation.

It'll feel weird and awkward at the beginning, but then you'll get into a rhythm of talking and you'll be able to pick out these words to lose that you don't even know you're saying. And also your cadence. Your intonation. What you're speaking about then is called uptalk or uppe, and it's where we make every sentence sound like a question when it's really a statement and it is a habit and it is all over our culture.

If you listen to. A podcast. If you listen to even a news person, sometimes someone who's speaking at a meeting or some a presentation, people have up talk and they don't think about it. So here's the technique that might be helpful. Think of yourself, your words as coming down the stairs. I'm not telling you to lower your voice, although I do think women need to think about.

Having a strong voice and not a baby voice that can be trained with a, with a voice coach, but, but coming down the stairs, so my name is Tracy Hooper, period. You're making a statement, a declaration. I'm the founder of the Confidence Project instead of, my name is Tracy Hooper. I'm the founder of The Confidence Project, and my girls did that when they were younger, and I used to say to them, are you asking me or telling me, oh mom.

Oh man, they must have loved having you for a mother. Well, you know, it's funny the benefiting now though. Yeah. The benefit now, uh, it's, I I, I notice different parts of the way we present ourselves at different times when, when our girls were younger right. Was not really an issue. Um, vocal fry, which is where people sit on their vocal folds.

I can't do it, but it's kind of like this. And they sound kind of tired and they sit on their boat, the Kardashians. Who else is famous for that? Katie Perry. They all have this vocal fry. It's not only interesting, you call vocal fry. Vocal fry, FRY. Interesting. And it's a, it's where you are not giving yourself enough breath and your vocal folds are rubbing together.

It'ss not only hard to hear because people don't sound like they're. Have any energy, but it's also really physically hard. You can develop nodules on your vocal folds, and that is something that, if that is an issue for you, it's definite for you, meaning our listeners. It is an issue, but you can work with a voice coach and you can lose that because it's a habit and it's all a part of what we hear.

Kay. If we hear it, we say it, we can't help it. It's like. What's the color? That's the rage now blue or pink or orange, we tend to do and say what we see because we want to feel like we belong to a community or to a group of people. So we imitate it and therefore we don't really know what makes us strong and what doesn't.

Interesting. When I was in the South that interesting is probably another word I, I use too much. But, uh, if I spend some time there and all of a sudden you, I start. Hearing this little bit of drawl in my, in my voice. And you're right. What, what we hear is affects how we we speak. And unfortunately we are out of time and there's so much more we could talk about, but you've given us incredible specific nuggets of that people can use, that I can use.

You can use listening. I just really am so grateful for you to share, uh, for sharing that I know that you do have a monthly video, a complimentary video that people can watch because I know you're gonna wanna know more. So Confidence project again. And so this is confidence project.com/blog. Is that the best place for people to go and find you, Tracy?

Yes. They can go to confidence project.com and then at the bottom of every page, you can either. Email me or you can sign up for the video. Uh, the video that comes out the first Thursday of every month, and it's fun. It's usually one to three minutes and it's around something involving confidence. And every month I think, oh, what am I gonna talk about?

And then something will happen. And I think that's the video, that's the upcoming video. I love this episode because I know everybody listening will be able to make one change based on this 30 minute conversation, and you'll want to make that one change. I wanna make that one change. I feel like I've gotten better since we first talked, but there's always a lot more that you can improve on.

So I really, really appreciate meeting you and knowing you and hearing from you about your specialty, which is confidence and that can make or break so many things. Yeah. Is there anything else you want to, like to close out with? Tracy or Am I such a good interviewer that I've covered it all? You are such a good interviewer that we've covered it all.   I want people to remember that confidence can be learned and when you practice these skills over time, it will not only make you feel more confident, it will give other people more confidence in you, and then it becomes this virtuous cycle going up.

I wish you all well. Well, thank you so much. Confidence, is waiting for you on the other side , of this episode. Words to use, words to lose, go have fun, making changes that will give you more confidence and power. Tracy, thank you so much for being on the podcast. My great pleasure. Thank you. Kay.