Talking with Becca Walk: Embracing Vulnerability and Creating Belonging

In this episode of the Created to Be podcast, MSU Volleyball player, Becca Walk,  joins show host Bethany Pigott to talk about the podcast themes from this season of vulnerability and belonging. Becca shares her journey as an athlete and how vulnerability and belonging have played a part in who she is today.

Transcript

(0:05) Coaches and athletes are often driven by an unquenchable thirst to push the limits of what (0:09) is achievable. Can we win more games? Throw farther? Jump higher? Run faster? But what if (0:14) the goal is not to pursue limits, but rather to live in a state where limits are irrelevant? (0:19) Is it possible that the current emphasis in sports on being the best and outperforming competition (0:24) is inferior to what could be experienced? We believe the answer is a resounding yes. (0:29) As believers, we are designed to recognize and respond to God's activity in our lives.

(0:33) What if there's an entirely different way to interact with God's presence while competing? (0:38) Can we recognize and respond to God in real time on the court or field? (0:41) The Created To Be podcast will interview coaches, athletes, and FCA staff to discuss the ways they (0:46) see God and interact with his activity in their day-to-day lives. The point is that (0:51) God didn't create coaches and athletes to do, he created them to be. (0:59) Welcome to the Created To Be podcast.

I'm your host, Bethany Paget, and today I'm joined by (1:03) Hey, y'all. We're so excited to have you on the show today, Becca. And just if you could take a (1:08) moment to share your story of how you got to MSU and what made it a great fit for you on the (1:12) volleyball team here.

I think that would help our listeners just get to know you a little bit better (1:15) before we start some questions. Absolutely. So a lot of people don't know this about me, (1:20) but I actually did transfer here my freshman year.

I started out at South Alabama out of high school. (1:26) I wasn't a huge recruit. I'm from South Mississippi and volleyball isn't that big (1:30) down there.

It wasn't really the right fit for me at South, so I decided to explore my other (1:35) options and went into the transfer portal, not really sure what I wanted to do, not sure if I (1:40) wanted to keep playing volleyball. But I talked a lot with our head coach here, Julie, and she just (1:45) had so many great things to say about the program here, and so did the girls. And it was really (1:49) evident to me that the coaches and everyone around athletics here cared a lot about who you were as (1:55) a person, not just what you could do on the volleyball court.

And that was really, really (1:58) important to me. My journey here has been a little bit of everything. I think I've been in every role (2:03) on the volleyball team, on the bench, first one off the bench, and a starter.

So I've gotten to (2:09) see all different sides of the court, every role you could think of. But I think it's more been (2:14) about me just trusting God's plan, especially throughout the transfer process. And then (2:18) everything that I've gone through here, injuries, different roles, changes, and just understanding (2:24) that God has such a big plan for me.

And I love control, and I love to be in control of my life, (2:30) but that's not how God intended it to be. He knows so much better than me. And I think that's been a (2:35) huge part of my journey here.

Yeah. And you've really walked that out through some really (2:39) challenging circumstances. And I think just even your boldness has been so encouraging to me that (2:44) even in the midst of what might be said or what you're being influenced to do or whatever, (2:49) you're like, what is God saying? And I'm going to trust that.

And you have definitely (2:52) done that. So we're so thankful that you are here. Also, you are on the FCA leadership team.

(2:58) And what has that been like for you getting involved with FCA? How did that happen? (3:03) Yeah, so my freshman year when I transferred here in the spring, one of our upperclassmen, (3:07) Kendall Murr, she kind of got me involved with FCA. And that was right after COVID. So we were (3:13) doing FCA in the parking lot at the home.

And it was really cool just to get to know people. I (3:19) was just a way to get involved and be in communion with others. And then she graduated that year, (3:24) and she was on lead team.

So that was before you and Justin were here. I was with Jimmy. (3:29) And so she kind of recommended me to him, got me in contact with him.

And just starting my (3:34) sophomore year, been going to lead team. And it's been really awesome just to be (3:38) in communion with others and getting to know everyone on other sports teams. And I think (3:42) it's so important to be connected with others on other teams.

And it's really helpful because (3:47) everyone's going through the same thing. And we have a lot of the same values. So that's been (3:51) very helpful to me in my journey here.

Yeah, that's a great segue into just what (3:56) we want to talk about today. Because this podcast is about created to be this fall, (4:00) we're talking about created to be connected. And within connection, we've talked about over the (4:05) past three episodes, different topics like vulnerability and empathy and what how shame (4:10) plays a role in keeping people from being vulnerable and bringing things to the light (4:14) and their full selves into the picture of community and what it means to be connected (4:18) to other people in community and how we mature and grow together.

So how do you feel about the idea (4:24) that vulnerability might not be a weakness, but actually just what it means to be human? (4:28) Yeah, I think it's a huge part in athletics, especially. I think looking back at my time here, (4:34) especially the last year and a half, it's been hard to be vulnerable because, you know, as an (4:39) upperclassman on the team, you don't want your underclassmen to see you as weak or you don't (4:43) want them to see you struggling because you want them you're supposed to have it all together as a (4:47) fifth year. Yeah, I've done this five years now, I'm supposed to have it all together.

But that's (4:51) not necessarily how it always goes. And I don't think you'll ever have it all figured out. But (4:56) I think looking back when I was an underclassman, what made my captains and my upperclassmen so (5:01) valuable to me was that they were human and that they showed their weaknesses with me.

And when I (5:06) went to them with my struggles, they showed me their struggles, too. And, you know, I think it (5:11) makes me a better leader on the team when my underclassmen know I am struggling in some things (5:17) and, you know, it's normal, you don't have to hide that. And it makes you a lot more relatable to (5:21) them, too, in that sense.

Yeah, you know, what's interesting when you mentioned just now, it's a (5:26) huge part of athletics, I immediately thought, it's kind of crazy that we try to hide in athletics, (5:31) because think about conditioning, think about really the weight room preseason. I think that (5:37) just having gone through that process myself, like you, you are going to expose (5:43) weakness, like you might be strong, but then like, emotionally, something happened. And like, (5:48) you could just break down.

And coaches are like, what's going on? You know, so it's it's really, (5:53) it is a part of athletics, if we can embrace it, then I think that there's something that can be (5:59) expressed in these teams and communities that might not be available in other places, because (6:05) it kind of forces you into that space. And so you'll either like, try to hide it or cut it off (6:11) or act like it doesn't exist. But if you just embrace it, then like you said, your struggle (6:15) can relate to somebody else's struggle, and you can really help each other grow.

Absolutely. Can (6:19) you describe a time where you've had to embrace that vulnerability, and it's led to a deeper (6:24) connection or just even just, you know, just embracing vulnerability, realizing like this (6:28) is going on, and I'm not gonna just hide it or act like it doesn't exist. Absolutely.

So everyone (6:34) knows me and my head coach have a really close relationship. And I'm very blessed that she cares (6:39) a lot about me. And this summer, you know, I just struggled a lot going into the season, not knowing (6:45) what it was going to look like.

It's my last year, I'm coming back from an injury. And, you know, (6:50) I was really letting the devil kind of speak into me telling me, you know, I'm not good enough to (6:54) be here. And just not sure why I was back for a fifth year, I didn't know what my role was going (6:58) to look like.

And, you know, it's really scary to go to your head coach with a lot of those things, (7:04) just other things on my plate that were going on, because I didn't know how she would react to them. (7:09) But I went in, and you know, she listened to me. And I just told her everything, the good, (7:15) the bad, the ugly.

And she really did listen to me. And I think something that a lot of people (7:21) don't have in the SEC, especially, but this is what makes Julie so special is that she (7:27) is a believer. And, you know, she sat with me, and she prayed with me, and she just spoke so (7:31) much truth into me.

And I think that I can play better for her because she understands who I am (7:36) as a player. And she can coach me better because I am vulnerable with her and vice versa. It was (7:42) really difficult to go in there and just tell her everything and tell her how I was feeling and (7:47) just being so unsure of what the fall was going to look like.

But I don't think that I would be (7:53) where I am right now in such a good headspace in season, if I hadn't gone to her and been (7:58) vulnerable. And she was so open and listened so well. For those who are listening, especially if (8:03) they're athletes, they might be like, that's great for you, Becca.

But that's pretty hard to do (8:07) specifically with a coach. So I was just thinking maybe you could share a little bit about like, (8:12) how did you get to that point of trust with your coach? Yeah, I think it's definitely hard (8:18) in today's world of athletics, because not all coaches are like that. And I've been very, (8:23) very blessed.

My high school coach was just like that. He's huge in his faith. And he always shared (8:27) that with us too.

But I didn't have that my freshman year. It's not always something that (8:32) you can do with your head coach, but it can be an assistant coach, my assistant coach, my freshman (8:36) year, I was really close with before I transferred. And that was helpful.

But I think just understanding (8:43) each other, you don't have to relate to them on faith, but just you have to have a respect for (8:47) each other. And you have to understand them to be able to play for them. And I remember my (8:52) sophomore year, or maybe junior year, we had the Labor Day prayer walk too.

And she had asked me if (8:58) I was going and I didn't even know if I was going to go. It's eight o'clock in the morning. No one (9:02) really wants to be awake at that time.

But I went and Julie was there too. And we walked over to the (9:09) volleyball gym, prayed over the gym. And I was just like, so in awe of how a head coach in the SEC (9:16) could be so strong in their faith.

And you know, that's before she had her baby in the spring, (9:21) we were praying for her to get pregnant. And it was just so cool. Because then this Labor Day, (9:26) I'm just sitting thinking like, wow, so many prayers that we prayed two years ago have already (9:30) been answered this year.

It's been really, really cool just to be able to stay in one place for so (9:35) long. You know, when you're here for four and a half years, you see so much develop. And I think (9:40) it's just about like them pouring into you, but you have to pour back into your coaches too.

(9:44) Yeah, I think there's, you know, you're having to be vulnerable. And I think that the fear there (9:49) for athletes, I would assume is just like, if you expose weakness, a coach could mishandle that (9:55) and think that you're weak or take advantage of it, you know, or think like, okay, they're not (9:59) ready. So it's, you know, there's a lot I feel like the athletes like try to juggle, like, (10:04) what am I going to what am I going to be let you may known to my coach, any of the coaches, right.

(10:09) But in your case, it seems like a little bit over time, because you've been here, has helped (10:14) develop this place where you could go in, because you weren't like this flash in the (10:19) pan. Like you weren't just like, okay, here today, gone tomorrow kind of athlete, right? You know, (10:23) you built this, you had this character, you built this relationship over time, so that whenever you (10:27) went in with this really big decision, that a lot of coaches probably wouldn't make the decision for (10:32) their players, right. But she trusted you because you've invested there.

But then she's also had (10:37) to listen. And so I think what you just said at the end was so good, like it's both ways. (10:42) But you stepped into that moment.

And so I just want those that are listening, (10:45) like it takes time to develop that kind of trust. But you can probably feel the effects of just (10:50) like playing free, being able to trust her in the midst of playing this year and all that stuff. (10:55) Absolutely.

So talking a little bit about authenticity, how do you balance being (11:00) true to yourself, while also navigating expectations from coaches, teammates and other (11:06) people? Yes, expectations part, that's very hard for me, just because I feel like once you do well (11:13) one time, you kind of hold yourself to that standard every single time you go out on the (11:16) court or do anything in life. And that's definitely been a struggle for me. And it's not even that (11:22) other people might have that expectation for me.

But sometimes I have that expectation for myself, (11:27) or I think that they have an expectation for me. And really, in reality, it's okay, (11:32) they're not holding me to it, it's all in my head. But I think over time, I've kind of realized that (11:38) the only opinion that should really matter to me is God's.

And whenever I take a step back and (11:46) realize, the way God sees me is the only way that I need to be looking at myself too. And the way (11:52) he sees me before I go play is the exact same way he sees me after I play, no matter if I have a (11:57) career night or probably a career low. And that is crazy for me to think about, because in my head, (12:04) I can be so down after a game and so upset, but God sees me the exact same way.

(12:09) Yeah, that's awesome. And the stories we tell ourselves are so critical. We've talked about (12:14) that as we've done some volleyball chapels this year.

And so just like you said at the beginning, (12:19) like if I'm telling myself that people expect all these things of me, or even maybe just of yourself (12:24) or what you think other people expect, just how much of a spiral that can put you in. But if you (12:30) tell yourself, this is what God says about me, and this is what he expects, that story will keep you (12:35) steady, right? And certain. So what practical steps do you take to foster a sense of belonging (12:42) with your team? So you have stepped into this kind of vulnerability.

What does it look like to be (12:49) your true self? But then like, how do you take that and begin to see that into the culture of (12:54) your team so that other people can step into that and begin to belong and feel that sense of like (13:01) trust and security in that environment? Yeah, I think creating the culture for volleyball has (13:06) been a work in progress. And over the last four years, it's been a lot of trial and error. (13:10) We always joke in the summer, we say we date our teammates, especially this summer, we had 10 new (13:15) girls on the team.

And, you know, we got here in July, and we played our first match middle of (13:20) August. So there was a lot to get to know about each other. And like we said earlier, boring into (13:27) each other, it happens a lot on the court.

But there's a lot of things that you can't get to know (13:31) about someone in the weight room or on the volleyball court. And so we, I mean, we set it up (13:36) to where you go and you hang out with someone one on one, go get coffee, go eat lunch, go make dinner (13:41) something like that. And I think it's really fostered like a sense of getting to know someone (13:46) but asking what your story is, where you came from, why you are the way that you are? Why do you react (13:51) to the situation the way that you reacted this way? And I think that the more you do that, obviously, (13:56) it's harder in season with our schedule.

But the more you do that people understand like, wow, (14:01) you really want to get to know me, you don't care what I can do on the court. Of course I care, but (14:06) you care more about what I can do off the court than I can do on the court. (14:09) Yeah.

And I think that what I've just observed and what I've heard from y'all on the team is that (14:15) there seems to be a very clear direction for what the culture, what y'all want the culture to be. (14:23) And that it's not just players that want that, but the coaching staff has that vision too. (14:29) And so when both of those things are working together, you can start seeing this really (14:33) healthy, vibrant culture develop.

Right. Would you agree with that? Absolutely. (14:37) Yeah.

So what do you think, how important is developing the culture? You've been here four (14:43) and a half years. So how, how important is that, especially in this way that the sports has (14:49) changed so much with players really, it seems to me anyway, this is my observation again, (14:56) players really are putting a lot of like their, what is important for them individually, (15:01) their goals, their desires for like where they want to take their career over what they can (15:06) contribute to a team. So how, why, why is that such a selling point for you? Like, (15:11) what has made you want to stick around to develop this culture? And like, (15:14) why is that even important to you? Well, there's a lot of things I can say that, (15:20) but one of the biggest things Julia always tells us just like, put the team first.

(15:23) And at the end of the day, the team can't succeed if not everyone is pouring into that one vision. (15:29) And we all have one vision. And I think it's hard sometimes because there are personal things and (15:34) personal goals that you want to make.

And of course that's great. But at the end of the day, (15:39) one person doesn't just win, it's a team winning. And if one person loses and the whole team loses, (15:44) what's kept me around so long, that's a loaded question.

You know, my sophomore year after we (15:50) had such a great season, I just remember like the feeling of getting to post-season for the (15:55) first time and never wanting to like not feel that again. And then after we didn't make post-season (16:00) my junior year, like the feeling of not making it was worse than the greatness of making it. (16:07) If that makes sense, the feeling of doing it with your teammates and the connections that you make (16:11) along the way, it's priceless.

Honestly, like there's literally nothing like it. And I can (16:16) hold that in my heart until way longer after I leave here. Yeah, that's a great also segue into (16:24) this question, which is how does having deep connections with others enhance your overall (16:29) joy and well-being as a student athlete? Like what do those connections mean to you? (16:33) Yeah, I think that is like everything for me here at State.

And it's been interesting because (16:38) everyone always says Mississippi State's a family and you don't understand that until you get here. (16:43) And that's what makes this place so special is because the connections that I've made here (16:48) are probably my favorite thing about why I've come here in my whole career. Just like, I mean, (16:52) you pouring into me every single week and just my coaches pouring into me and you know, the teammates (16:57) might come and go, but also like all these new people in my life have been so beneficial and (17:03) that's what I'm going to remember way more.

And they've impacted me so much more than the wins or (17:08) losses that we've had here at State. And I have just been so shaped by the people that have been (17:13) here and in my life at State, especially when you're here for so long and you really do get (17:18) to form deeper connections just like me and you. Yeah.

Yeah. I was just I just wrote down as you (17:23) were talking, the value of being shaped, informed, and then you like said it, but that's what to me (17:28) this time, these four years in college, or maybe more, you know, for others, you're getting more (17:34) degrees. So, hey, but those years are so critical in where you're going to go in life, like who you (17:41) become, like it's such a special time to be that 18 to 22, sometimes older for those COVID kids (17:49) that are still around.

I cannot believe COVID kids are still around. Last year. Yeah.

Yeah. (17:54) We're almost out of that, but it is. It's really important to be the value of being shaped, (17:59) informed.

And I feel like as sports continue, college sports continue to change, it seems like (18:03) that's becoming less valuable than what can be earned or achieved in this window of time. But (18:10) that's who you're going to be like for the rest of your life and making connections, deep friendships (18:15) that you'll have for the rest of your life too. Yeah.

And I feel like that going into the (18:20) vulnerability piece too, like if you're not vulnerable with those connections, like you (18:24) don't get a lot out of them. And I would say like the people here have gotten me through like some (18:28) of the hardest days of my life. I mean, I've been here for four and a half years, so much has (18:32) happened.

And like they're with me from the best days, whenever we have these huge upsets or (18:37) whenever crazy breakthroughs, anything, but they're also here when we have like the lowest of lows. (18:42) And if you don't share that with other people, like it's really hard to (18:45) have those connections if they don't understand like what's going on in your life. (18:49) Yeah.

That's so good. We're going to take a short break and then come back to just have (18:52) some closing thoughts, your advice to others, things you want to impart to them as we finish (18:56) out the podcast. Living out your faith in college can be a challenge, let alone in your sport, (19:02) but it doesn't have to be.

Come join FCA in the Crane Theater Room in the Shire Fieldhouse on (19:07) Monday nights at 7 p.m. to fellowship with other athletes and encounter God together. (19:11) We look forward to seeing you there. (19:17) Welcome back.

All right. As we finish up, I just thought it might be fun for Becca to gear some of (19:22) this advice to, you know, either transfers or incoming freshmen, people that are new here, (19:28) just talking to them, encouraging them about like what you would say to step into. (19:34) Like if you were to look back at your freshman self coming in, like what would you encourage (19:38) your freshman self to do knowing what you know now about what opportunities would come? (19:44) What might be some advice that you would give? (19:47) Yeah.

So we've been talking about this a lot with our volleyball pregame chapels, but I think (19:53) such a huge piece of athletics is just there's so many things around you and your environment (19:58) that are going to change. But one thing that doesn't change is God. And if your eyes are on (20:02) God, the stuff around you won't come in and it won't affect you as much.

But if your eyes are (20:07) on the things that are around you, it can be really easy to get caught up in that and get (20:12) really anxious about what you have to do that day and the spot that you're in. And I think that (20:16) that's what I would probably tell myself is just be rooted in your faith. Don't get too caught up (20:20) in the stuff around you because all this is so temporary.

And the only thing that we have forever (20:25) is God. It's hard to think about because it is your whole life. Sometimes it feels like it's your (20:29) whole life, but it's not.

Yeah, that's what I would tell myself. (20:32) That's good. So what advice would you give athletes who struggle with vulnerability and (20:38) forming deep connections? Like, is there anything that you could say this helped me step into that? (20:43) Yeah, I would say, I mean, God made us to be in community with others.

He didn't want, (20:48) he didn't intend for us to ever be alone. And I think that's a really important piece to remember (20:53) that we can't be fully helped or healed from anything if you don't open up to someone about it (20:58) and obviously opening up to God about it. But he sends people into our life for reasons.

(21:03) And he's trying to speak through other people a lot of the time, too. If you're not hearing from (21:07) God, maybe he's trying to talk to you through someone else. I genuinely believe like that's (21:11) happened to me so many times throughout my career here.

So just having your listening ears on at all (21:16) times can speak to us in so many different ways, but just being open to it. Yeah. And there's (21:21) people that, you know, in a previous podcast, I say, like, just test the waters a little bit with (21:26) certain relationships, like see if people will actually attentively listen to you at first, (21:30) like share a story, see if they're curious about it.

And that could be not even something hard, (21:34) but just to kind of get a feel for, is this person relationally mature enough to handle what I might (21:40) want to share, you know, and you find those trusted people as you show up to things, (21:44) as you go to church, as you show up to a small group, as you show up to a chapel for your team (21:49) or FCA, whatever these, those are the spaces I would say would be most likely to find somebody, (21:55) right. And then you just keep being present and then you can take baby steps into this, (22:00) but I would love for people to just, as they're listening to this, to just really hear how (22:05) you, you have been here over a period of time, long enough to where you could establish those (22:10) kinds of relationships. So now you can step into those things.

Like it just takes so much time. (22:16) So whether you are here for a year, but you have other relationships outside of Mississippi State, (22:22) like who do you, who are you creating history with, history with the Lord, (22:26) but also like history with people. And that's really important.

And I, I mean, in my life, (22:30) I have for sure, probably I could say like five to 10 people at any point, probably more than that, (22:37) but just that I coming to mind right now that like, if I needed something or prayer, like I (22:42) could reach out or call if I'm struggling, I could reach out and call. And you need to have those (22:46) circles of like those types of people to be. And then I think once you live from that place and (22:51) you're accepted and loved in that place, then it's easier just to kind of be that way all the (22:56) time.

Like you're not trying to like hide anything. Cause you're like, I'm safe. Like, (23:00) this is who I am.

So I think that it's good to just take those baby steps when you can. (23:05) Is there anything else you would like to leave listeners with as we close today? (23:10) I think we covered it all. (23:12) Yeah.

Thank you so much, Becca, for coming on. For those of you who listen, please come back (23:16) next week. We will have another athlete on just to talk about these topics that we've had over (23:21) the past few weeks to really hopefully make it very applicable to you and your context.

(23:26) We're so thankful for you coming on today, Becca. (23:28) Thanks for having me. (23:51) Bye.