Created to Be
The Created to Be podcast is hosted by Bethany Pigott, Justin Pigott, Darius Brown, and Brandi Morgan. Episodes incorporate what’s happening in FCA at Mississippi State, fun and lighthearted conversations that help you get to know the hosts and their guests, and real-life topics and themes being discussed with coaches and athletes.
Created to Be
Mahjong, Softball Cheers, and Becoming Free (feat. Taylor Troutman)
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In this episode of the Created to Be Podcast, Bethany and Brandi are joined by Mississippi State softball player Taylor Troutman for a powerful and honest conversation about becoming free—on the field and in life.
From lighthearted moments about Mahjong and softball cheering culture to deeper reflections on fear, injury, identity, and trust, Taylor shares her story of walking through sickness, a torn ACL, and learning how to play—and live—without fear. Together, we explore how freedom in Christ isn’t the absence of struggle, but the courage to trust God in the middle of it.
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Like we all have different plans that God has rolled out in our life, so we can't just sit here and compare. We just have to live free in this and trust in the Lord.
SPEAKER_02Welcome to the Created to Be podcast. We're back for another week, and we have a special guest with us today, super fan, I'm gonna call her, but we'll reveal that in just a moment. Brandy's here with us today.
SPEAKER_03Hey.
Unboxing Mahjong
SPEAKER_02Of course, we're always glad to have Brandy, and I feel like we should do a drum roll. Taylor Troutman of the softball team is here with us. Welcome, Taylor. Hey. We're excited to have you, Taylor. You are you we we mention you often in our podcast because you are great at interacting with what's going on here. And I shouted you out last week because that's what we hope this podcast can become and is becoming a way to interact and we can interweave stories that people have. And so we're gonna keep saying that and keep encouraging people to do that, send us comments and things like that. But Taylor, a special reason why she's here today is because, again, I always talk about how we record on the week before, but she is gonna speak at the huddle. So by now, when people hear this, you've already spoken, we've already done the huddle. Um, and so we're gonna talk about some of those things that she plans to talk about. That way, this can be kind of an extension, but we're gonna make this fun because there's gonna be other things we can talk about today. On the last podcast, we talked about becoming aware and kicked off our formation series kind of thing that formation is always happening, becoming is always happening. And so that's what she's gonna talk about becoming free, which is awesome. And so, okay, we're gonna get to that. That's a little tease for where we're going. But with Taylor here today, Taylor, I wanted you to tell the story about. So you heard us talk about a game. Well, Brandy brought it up, I didn't know it, and a few episodes back.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah, that's what it's called.
SPEAKER_02And it's actually like I tried to spell it, I think M-I-J-A-N or something to find it. And I was like, oh, okay, so we were gonna look at it today. So let me let me have Taylor tell the story first. You heard Brandy talk about this game on the podcast, and then what?
SPEAKER_01So it was the 2026 to equals 2016 episode, and I saw this like I don't even know how to say it, mahjong. And it came up on Facebook the day before, and then she mentioned it, and I was like, you know what? It came back up on my Facebook, and I was like, oh, I'm getting it. And so I got it. And then I texted her, I was like, hey, are you at your house? Because she also got a scooter from me. And she was like, Yeah. I was like, okay, well, I'm just gonna come drop the scooter off. And so I went over there and I was like, actually, I'm not just dropping off the scooter, I have this with you. And she was like, What?
SPEAKER_00I'm so shocked.
SPEAKER_02But at the same time, you said that she was on this all happened when we were having like an FCA staff call or something, right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, they were having a staff call. And then I was listening to the staff call, and then I found out about our meetings, and then we had this mahjong. I can't ever say it. I'm the one that bought it. I can't even say it.
SPEAKER_03I probably country fy it when I say it. Mahjong. Mahjong.
SPEAKER_02That is so funny. Okay, so I told I asked Brandy if she'd bring it today so we could like look at it, and we'll we'll put another video out of like what this looks like because I had no idea until I Googled this yesterday what the heck was going on. So Brandy has it right here. We're gonna try to describe what we see. What do you see, Taylor?
SPEAKER_01I see a rat, a mouse holding it's the directions, and he's holding the pieces, and I really don't know what this is.
SPEAKER_03It's a bunch of different little pieces with different Chinese-ish symbols. Can we see what kind of symbols they are? I think it's like a is it a is it's either a Japanese or a Chinese game? Oh. Yeah. So it's got different symbols like in their language on there. But then it also has pictures too. And I don't know how to play this one. I actually texted my son's teacher because they all play. And she's one of our good friends. And I was like, okay, I got a set. One of the girls got me a set. She was like, that is so precious. I'm gonna teach you how to play.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so can you play with a group with just this set?
SPEAKER_03I'm still learning. I don't know. I really don't. I think you have to each have a set because she said, I can do a party and we can play with the softball girls and I can teach them. And I was like, Do they all need a set? And she's like, Oh, we have plenty of friends that have sets. I'll just bring a whole bunch of sets. So I think everybody has to have their own.
SPEAKER_02Okay, that's what I was about to say because I was like, maybe after we show this unboxing, it would be fun to actually play it. But yeah. Okay, so it's Chinese. Okay, so we're looking at a box with a bunch of it looks like it kind of looks like dominoes, and then there's these almost look like coins, like not quite poker, but something like that, and then some dice.
SPEAKER_01So I wonder if this is a player, this is a player, this is a player. Maybe. Because there's four different different cubes and thingies.
SPEAKER_03You match them. So like I think that's how you get a win.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you have to have 13.
SPEAKER_02All right, so we'll do an unboxing video so y'all can see this, but I wanted her to bring it today so we could talk about it. And maybe if you know more about it, you can tell us. I had no idea, but Brandy had mentioned that people play this online, but now they have like these sets and you can play in person. So Brandy played it on the computer, and yeah, that's what that whole episode we were talking about, the differences of all the things and nostalgia. So, did you get the feels when you opened this up?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so between when Taylor brought me this and now I actually downloaded it on my phone and I've been playing it. And it's been so fun.
SPEAKER_02Do you see how it can be like this, or is this feels different than what you've been playing?
SPEAKER_03No, this is exactly like it, but I don't know how to set up a course. I don't know if course is not the right word. Like you, it's like a layered towel game, and you can only get to so many tiles, but you have to match towels to be able to remove them from the game. So it's like a puzzle. You're trying to get all the towels gone off the game.
The Stretch: Softball Chanting/Cheering Culture
SPEAKER_02Gotcha. Okay. You learn something new every day. Thanks, Taylor, for this gift of brandy and all that might become of that. You never know. One quick update on FCA is that we have our luncheon on April 17th, and we are excited about that. We're selling tables right now. If you're interested in that, you can go to FCA, MSUFCA.org and the legacy luncheon information is on there. And then we also will have a variety of auction opportunities. And so we're always looking for any type of donation there for either raffle, silent auction, live auction. So if you have anything like that, please let us know. Please contact me or Justin. There's also a contact form on the FCA website, and you could always send it send it to us that way. But we would love to include your items in our big event. And we're gonna make sure that people know when they come in what exactly to expect because it's it is gonna be an awesome time of celebration and luncheon, but it's also an event that you can engage with and just look forward to as, you know, as an event, like as something to do that's unique that you can participate in to get these awesome items and experiences and such. So be looking forward to that. All right. So we're gonna actually have a stretch time segment today. And I just honestly, I came up with this because I knew Taylor would be here, and this is something that I'm curious about whenever we go to softball games. But this whole chanting culture that y'all have, Taylor, like it's very unique to your sport. Other sports have that dynamic, but I had some questions for you today about it.
SPEAKER_01Go for it. I'm so hype.
SPEAKER_02When did you start playing softball first?
SPEAKER_01I started playing when I was three years old. My dad was played college baseball and he was a high school baseball coach at the time. And my sister was five, so I just joined her teams.
SPEAKER_02That's crazy. How young were you, Brandy, when you started playing sports?
SPEAKER_03I was five when I started playing soccer. I think I was six or seven when I started playing softball. How long did you play softball? I played all the way to my senior year in high school. It was like my stress release. Like I played soccer for serious and I knew that's what I was going to college for. But softball, like, I played outfield. I just loved getting out there, and it was like a challenge how many balls I could run down. It was just a fun thing.
SPEAKER_02Man, I did not know that about brandy that you played softball.
SPEAKER_01We learned something new every day.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So wow, okay. So maybe you can add to this because you also participated in this chanting culture chanting culture. I'm calling it that. I don't know. Is that what y'all call it, Taylor? You call it chance?
SPEAKER_01It's just like cheers. Yeah, I guess. I don't think about it.
SPEAKER_03Does soccer do that though, too? No, they don't do specific chants or cheers. It's just more like encouraging and getting loud. Kind of like other sports, I guess.
SPEAKER_02There's just something about when you walk into a place and or into a certain culture and what's just assumed that you would know. But I have to think, like, at some point you have to learn that. Like, I don't know, you know, like you just, it's just assumed, like this is just part of it. But at some point you didn't know how to do these things and you had to like remember the cheers and stuff. Like, do you remember having to like learn these things? Is it just something you just go to the games and you just absorb and you like certain know it, or you had to like practice to like know, okay, whenever we're on the field, like we're saying these things, and I have to work on it at home. That sounds silly. But I'm see there's a lot. You'll have so many that you do.
SPEAKER_03Practice in front of the mirror.
SPEAKER_01I didn't practice. And honestly, I'm so scared for next week because I don't remember a lot of them. But it's gonna be okay because it's like muscle memory at this point. It's like once someone starts it, I'm like, oh yeah, I got this. But I I remember when I was younger, I don't remember learning them, but I just remember all the younger ones have a dance with them. And so it's like you cheer, like there's like one with Michael Jackson, you shake it off like salt and pepper. Do you know that one? And you were dancing with it and everything, and it was my favorite cheer when I was younger.
SPEAKER_03I that's one thing I was gonna say. I've noticed is different with like the the lower level ones, like junior high, travel ball. Like there's a difference between them and college ones. Like the ones for them sometimes are so cheesy to me. I'm just like, why like that doesn't even make sense. Or it does, but it's just silly. Where like the college ones, I feel like they're more person specific, maybe. And they're just they sound better to me.
SPEAKER_02Do y'all have certain cheers for certain players?
SPEAKER_01Some people do. Like I know Kiara has her, like, one, and like you have your number ones. But like some people are just abroad, if that makes sense.
SPEAKER_02So you just absorb like you just learn on the fly.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Like when I got here last year, I just had to absorb it and just like, okay, okay, all right, I got it. And you just had to try, and then if you messed up, they're like, come on. And so that's how I got it.
SPEAKER_02So it seems like, I mean, even at when we've served at FCA camps, there's always cheers at camp too. And it just seems like it's I don't know whoever starts it, but it's like it's just somehow passed down and you just learn somehow. By the end of camp, normally if you're new, like you'll know it, and then you come back the next year. Does it kind of work the same way?
SPEAKER_01It does, yeah. I it it takes me a little longer. I think it was slow learner with the chance, uh, but eventually I get it.
SPEAKER_02Do you think that they have an impact on the game?
SPEAKER_01I do, because softball's a failing sport. So if you didn't have something to cheer you back up, then everyone would just be down all the time. And so chance give you something to come back on and to erase your memory and to cheer on the next player.
SPEAKER_03Also, too, I think like if you know somebody is struggling, whether it's like pitcher or somebody on the other team, I feel like that's just another way for you to get in their head too. Like you just add to that.
SPEAKER_02That was my next question, is if they're used kind of as strategy to for the other team.
SPEAKER_01They kind of are like if a pitcher's gonna throw four straight balls, we're gonna just scream ball, ball, ball, and then we're all in our head, and poor girl, I feel so bad for them because we are just stuck in her head. But it's just a little chant. You gotta keep it going somehow.
SPEAKER_02Do you have people that are kind of like the people on the team that get them started, or is it just anybody?
SPEAKER_01Kind of anyone. I was just talking to Brandy about this before we walked in. I was like, I really hate starting cheers, but I'm like a loud person, so no one would ever know that. Like everyone would be like, oh yeah, Taylor's got this, but I don't I don't want to start them because I don't want my voice to scream first. But I don't care to scream for the other people. I don't know why it's so different for me, but I'll join in and be louder than everyone else. I just don't want to start it.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so do some of the ones that you did whenever you were younger, Taylor. What were they?
SPEAKER_01You would always, and when you're in the field, you would go, hey batter batter, hey batter batter, swing. And you were trying to get in the batter's head. And then there's uh pump, pump, pump it up, pump that softball spear up. So that's a fun one. Oh, oh, we don't play with Barbie dolls, we just play with bats and balls. Oh, that's a fun one. Oh, yeah, that's those are those are some good ones when we were younger. We I miss the little things.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so do your coaches talk to y'all about this at all? Like, is this kind of like it it really is so like that it's that important? Like what do you ever face a team that is not doing this?
SPEAKER_01No. Never. We we get in trouble if we don't cheer. Tennessee, whew, they got some rough ones where it's just like okay, like we're not meaning bad, and we're just trying to pump our team up, and you're kind of getting a little overhand with it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So Yeah, are there any regulations on that? Like it's kind of wild that you can just yell and it's okay. Like whatever you want.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, there's nothing. It's you we're college kids, so you better figure it out.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I just think it's so much a part of the game that is not part of the game in other sports. Like I was trying to think, how would this even work in other sport environments, you know?
SPEAKER_01I don't know, because baseball doesn't really do it if you think about it.
SPEAKER_03They have like their their basic, like the rip, rip, like you know, they have like the basic ones they do, but they don't do all these, which would be really hilarious if they would do it one day.
SPEAKER_01Like they should mic off and do it. Can you see a baseball player going pump, pump, pump it up, pump that baseball, spirit up.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01But no, yeah, uh like golf, you really can't do it. Soccer, you're so far away, and the girls are just you just gotta watch them run back and forth, back and forth. Basketball, defense. But that's about it.
SPEAKER_02Basketball also has cheerleaders at the game. So they have like a cheer squad, so does football. I think it's a cool d dynamic that's part of your sport that no other sport has and an awesome opportunity to like I don't I mean, in basketball, like they don't have cheers, but the moments that they can like get back on the same page is they gotta call a timeout, or like if there's a foul and somebody's on the foul line, they're huddling up as a team. But there's not really we were even watching our girls beat Tenn Tennessee at Tennessee last night, which was awesome. And they Tennessee hasn't lost at home in like six years or something. I don't mean it was I might be misquoting that. So, but it's been a long time. And for instance, Tennessee, the coach is very straightforward there. And at halftime, they were interviewing her and they said, What did you tell? Or I guess they were coming back for the second half, and she said, the lady said, What did you tell your team at halftime? And she said, I told them to fix their face and want to be here. Act like you want to be here. So I'm sorry, I'm not trying to like laugh. It was just like, you know, it's an interview, so you're like, whoa, she just said that. That's why I'm laughing. But the point is that it's like there aren't like they were having a problem with like getting their their energy into the game. So like in these other sports, it seems like you you don't really have an opportunity to like change the energy. Like you really kind of I've seen you kind of are relying on like one player to just have some kind of spark. Like I feel like in soccer, you'd see Allie Perry would score this dynamic goal, and it was like they kind of shifted the energy in the game. Or, you know, you have a few back-to-back plays, maybe in basketball, where it's like you score, then a steal, then another, and then it's like momentum shifts. But I feel like with this other dynamic that you can use that's not regulated soft in softball, that's a little bit of a advantage to where you don't necessarily have to be on the field to shift the energy in a game. But I don't know, is that true? Like, do you can you tell a difference or is it just kind of something that you do, but you don't really feel like you can't really feel a difference in the energy whether you're cheering or not?
SPEAKER_01You can definitely feel a difference because if you're not cheering and everyone's down, it just looks like you don't even want to be there anymore. But if you are cheering, even if you get out, it's like, okay, she's still going, she still wants to keep it going, and it puts like your your other girls on the team are more happy to be there and they want to be more like you, so you just have to be the starter.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I also think that it's cool because even if you're not someone who's gonna be in the game, you still can contribute to the overall like feel and focus and energy of the game.
SPEAKER_03That was one thing I was gonna say about Hosanna from the last two years was I told her she always looked so joyful and she was always cheering. And she was like, Well, I mean, it's not that I always feel like it, because of course she would rather be on the field, but she was like, it's my job, it's what I'm here to do right now. And so like I do think like everybody has a place in that, especially with like the cheering and stuff, because if I'm not getting to play, yes, everybody wants to be on the field, but gives me something that I can do to make a difference in the game.
SPEAKER_01That was me last year too, because I was hurt, and so you have to find your different roles and what you can help on your team. And I think like that was really good, even though it really was not fun to be hurt, but it was a good I can cheer and I can help out my team instead of just standing there and just watching.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think that's super unique, super cool, very distinct about softball. But overall, even with that comment, like I remember I was as a walk-on, I remember I was able to kind of like size up the situation. Like, I'm not gonna be able to beat out this point guard that I mean, she was awesome. Like, I'm like, there's no way. And so it really takes that, okay, how can I add value? And where is my place? And so I do think it's a cool kind of catch-all because obviously players can make an impact in other places off of the field, but there's no like you always can do that. You always can contribute to that aspect of the game and the team. And then I just want to encourage people that maybe have never been to a softball game that not just because of the cheers, but like that it is a very vibrant, exciting atmosphere. Obviously, with baseball, you both play on diamonds, but it's a very different game. Like it could be assumed if you don't know anything about softball, that it's a lot like baseball, but it's very different. It's much faster. I think. I don't know, do you think it's faster than baseball?
SPEAKER_01Oh, for sure. And if you come out to our games and we like to do some cheers with fans, like the maroon and white cheer, we do the fight song where we go, one a do, a skiddly-diddly-doo, and then we start the fight song. So yeah, but yeah, we like to interact with our fans too.
SPEAKER_02So even the fans can be involved in the madness. No, but it's it's very different. And I don't think that I really even knew that about softball until a few years ago. Like just how obviously the games I mean, it's obvious y'all played it with a different ball, the field is different, size and all that stuff, but just even it's seven innings, right? Seven innings. I don't know. It's just a lot faster, a lot a lot different type of game than even baseball, which would be the closest comparison, I would think. So come out to softball and support Taylor and be part of the cheering and the chanting. Thank you for engaging that stretch time, letting us know how that works. Okay, so Taylor is gonna be speaking and has by this time you hear this, already spoken on becoming free. There were several options that you could have chosen from as far as topics. Why did you choose this topic?
SPEAKER_01Honestly, I thought you were getting mad at me because like it took me so long to decide. It was the hardest decision. She sent me a Google sheet of all the topics I could choose from, and there was seriously like 20 topics. And I'm like, oh yeah, this one sounds good. Oh, I like this one, oh I like this one. So then I'm like, oh my gosh, like what do I speak about? So then you have to do, you have to pray, you have to talk to God. So I was like, God, what do you think I should talk about? And I'm just like, I like this one, I like this one, and I just keep hearing without fear, and I'm like, I don't want to speak without This one. Sorry if that sounds bad. But I just didn't want to speak about it because after injury, like obviously I have a lot of fear and playing. And I was just like, Lord, if there's any other topic, just like tell me. Like I would love it. Still without fear. And I just keep coming back to that one. And then I'm with Sierra, one of my best friends. And she's like, So have you decided a topic? And I'm like, no. And she's like, which one keeps coming out to you? And I'm like, good night. I'm texting her. So that's when I text you and I'm like, I'm doing without fear. And so that's kind of how I decided it because I just felt the Lord calling on me to keep doing that one. And then when Sierra pointed it out, like, which one's calling to? And I'm like, yep, I have to do that one. Like, it's not the one I want to talk about, but I feel like, I mean, obviously I would love to talk about any topic. Like, that's great. But I think that it'll be really good because I have a big perspective from it that I think I can help others more.
Taylor's Story: Faith, Injury, and Becoming Free
SPEAKER_02So yeah, that topic is a big topic. And we've been doing the huddles like only like 10 minutes to talk about something to then give, you know, time for small groups. So the great thing about this podcast is that we can get a little bit more insight and stretch that even out a little bit more. So this is an opportunity to talk about more about that, like playing and living without fear. Um, but before we do that, Taylor, what is your just it doesn't have to be super long, but just like your, just your story, like how you came to know the Lord and what that journey has looked like for you. And also if you want to weave in there your story to like Mississippi State, like you just you just tell us what you want to say right now.
SPEAKER_01The stories of roller coaster, I feel like. But I've known Christ my whole life. I was like born in a church, like my church has an infant to everything. And so I'm from Kentucky also. I forgot to mention that. But my family's been in church a lot. And when I got older, I would just go to church, go home, do my week, go back to church Sunday. Like my church didn't have Wednesday nights. We were losing our pastor. He found a new job, which we were really happy for him, and we were trying to find a new pastor, and that's we had a guest speaker. Actually, we just found our pastor at this point. And we had a guest speaker, and him and his wife came on, and her name is Gretchen, and she's the sweetest person ever. I loved her, and I was just crying during the message, and I'm like, oh my goodness, why am I crying? And which I honestly got baptized because I just felt like I should, because I was in the church a year or two before that. And I realized that's not now how I should have done it. But I was talking to her and I was like, oh my goodness, like I really never gave my life to Christ. Like I just got baptized because I felt like that's the right thing to do. So I was crying during her message, and I was just like, oh my goodness, why am I even crying? Like, I am so confused. And so I decided to go talk to her after. And she's like, Have you gave your life to Christ? And I was like, No, I'm crying. And I was like, I want to so bad, like this is what I really want. And so in that moment, that's when I gave my life to Christ. But at that point, I was really confused. Like, do I get baptized again? And so I didn't at the time. And so back to how I came to Starkville. I Starkville was my dream school. I I went to camps here all the time. And when I was younger, it was like, UCLA, Alabama. And then I was like, I don't want to go to those schools. Went to a camp here. I was like, this is my dream school. I want to go here so bad.
SPEAKER_02What sold you on it? Was it like just softball, like softball, or like you went around campus, or what were the things that stood out?
SPEAKER_01It was the family atmosphere, the campus. And I live in a small town in Kentucky, and this was like a small town, everyone knows everyone. Like I saw people like go around and some people came in and they're like, oh hey, like, oh, so just like everyone knows everyone here, and that's kind of how I wanted to be because that's how I am in my hometown. And I don't like to brag on myself, but it was just like I did kind of have a bunch of options. Like I was kind of pretty ranked high in the uh rankings and stuff, so it was a really still a huge decision for me because I even though this was my dream school, it's like, so I need to still keep looking into options. So I still looked into options, but ultimately I wanted to come here. I knew the Lord was calling me to be here. And then after I, so back to giving my life to Christ, I got extremely sick. I have really bad issues with my stomach. I couldn't eat anything. I was in the ER, in and out of the ER, and thank goodness I gave my life to Christ because then I realized a good relationship I could have with him. And he truly got me through that time. And then I thought everything was good. This was my eating stuff was three years though. But seeing a gastrologist being sick, and I didn't know how I was gonna get through that. I couldn't even play the sport, but I would still come every day. I lost like 10 pounds in 10 days, like all the time. I had to go on diets where I couldn't eat gluten, garlic, or beef because my stomach can't handle it. Then I came to Starkville and I was like, okay, fresh start. I'm excited. I got here, I tore my ACL, and I was like, oh Lord, what are you calling me for right now? Like, and that moment actually is really when I found out that this is where I was supposed to be because I was in, I did it on a Monday during practice, and Tuesday I went and saw a surgeon. We still didn't know what it was. Saw a surgeon, he was like, I want an MRI. Wednesday, I had an MRI. On Wednesday night, we had a game and I was student teaching, got back from student teaching, and I was like, hey, co trick, it's to you want me to d dress out. And she was like, let's just stay not dressed out, like, because of because we didn't know the results yet. She was like, if something happens, like I don't want you to dress out and then like it gets worse. Because I was like, no, it's not Macy'll. Like, I've never been injured before. Like the only thing is that sickness. And so I didn't dress out right before the game started. We're all in our huddles, and Macy, our athletic trainer, came and got me and she was like, Hey, we come with me. And I was like, Good or bad. She's like, I'm not telling you, come with me. And I was like, still didn't really know. I get out, it's like in between our indoor and our field. And Coach Ricketts, Coach T, Coach T Rat, like all the coaching stuff is in a huddle around me. And Ricketts holds me. Ricketts is our head coach, if you don't know. And she's like, I love you. And she's just holding me and Macy goes, It's your ACL. You're out this whole year. And so I just cried in all of our coaches' arms, and that's just where I felt like at home, which is hard because like in your hardest moment is where I felt the most loved. And then there's actually a picture of the whole team praying for me, which really touched me, and I had like a lot of prayers that day, and it was really nice. And then with this changed my life for so much better. I got to be more connected in our church. And so I made it through the whole year. Then I decided to stay over the summer because this the injury was in September. I had surgery on that Monday, so it was one week from surgery getting hurt to surgery. So my parents made it down, thank goodness. And then this summer I decided to stay here to just rehab more. And I go to Pine Lake Church, and I knew I was always connected in my church back at home, and I decided I want to be more connected in the church here. So I joined volunteering with the kids' department and at the Little Lakers, and I absolutely love it. It just feels like what God called me to do. I met Anna Lacey. I don't know if you guys know her, but she's the sweetest person ever at the church. She helps with the college ministry. And we went to lunch and I told her my story, and she's like, I just feel like you should get baptized, but I'm not gonna tell you what to do. Like, you just feel like the Lord calling you. So I I prayed about it. It took me like a month. I'm like, well, people are gonna think I'm crazy, like they don't understand. And I was like, she was like, but don't because that's what she did. She got baptized. She had like the same story as me. And so I could really relate with her. And I was like, wait, no, like this isn't what people should be. You shouldn't be listening to people's opinion. You should be listening to the Lord's opinion because his opinion matters the most. And so that's when I decided I really wanted to get baptized, and I had so much support. Brandy was awesome and was there to pray with me before I got baptized. My family got to come down, they went to a football game with me, and it was just the most perfect weekend. I had a fall game, like it was awesome. And I got to be with the Lord, and yeah, that's kind of my story and how I came to Starkville and got to connected with everyone.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's and and you can see in that, I don't know if this is why you picked partly why that topic came to the forefront from you, which just a little like asterisk. I was not mad at Taylor. I actually we were having a staff meeting and like planning the semester because I'm gonna be out for a couple of weeks and I'm like, I'm just I gotta make sure that my ducks are in a row. But so I could see where the like you going through that would impact potentially like just stepping back out on the field and having to be confident that what you had done, gone through that process, like that you can come back and play this sport again. I don't know if that's why you picked like becoming free, but is that part of do you did you feel that way? Like, was it weird coming back on the field? Did you have to face the fe any kind of fear after all of that process?
SPEAKER_01Did I? Um I any new thing I did, I cried. That sounds so dramatic, but I tore my ACL sliding. And I were you there on those practices? Oh my goodness. Anytime I had to slide, I would cry because like I physically could not do it. And I still struggle sometimes with sliding because it just gives me a photographic memory the second I go down, and I just can't do it. So I have to go run and touch the fence and come back. But I know it at this point.
SPEAKER_03Is that why you had to go run and touch the fence last week or two weeks ago? I remember, I think it was Mos Towns was like, Taylor, just go. And you like ran, touched the fence, came back.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I I know at this point. Like, I don't even no one tells me I just run because it's just like I know I have to get over it and I I do it more now. I'm proud of myself, I do it. But it's still a photographic memory that I just can't erase out of my head. And a lot of the girls don't understand because they're like, Well, you were just doing it last week. And I'm like, Yeah, but like it's just randomly pops up, and I'm like, oh my goodness, like I'm so scared. But I I just have to do it. But yeah, that's that's a really big fear of mine.
Scripture, Encouragement & Final Reflections
SPEAKER_02Well, I'm thinking as you were talking, I've never really probably had this thought before until just now, but how much of getting past a fear? There's so much trust involved, you know? Like to not fear is to trust because you still have that probably hanging around, but you're also forcing yourself to say, Well, I'm gonna just step into trust. I have no, I have no other choice. It's like feel the fear and not do this thing, or just trust. And that's really hard. I have a friend who said she was really being bombarded with some stuff and just some real fears that she had, and she just heard the Lord speak to her and say, You get to trust me. Like it's she was like, it was a very comforting thing, not like a corrective, like, hey, you get to trust me, like figure it out. It was like, no, you get to do this, you know, put it in ultimately his hands. And so anyway, that's really tough. So one of the verses about freedom that, you know, is can be part of this discussion, might not end up being part of the discussion, I don't know, but is Galatians 5, 1. And there's a few different versions, it says it a little different. Christ has set us free for freedom, therefore stand firm and don't submit to the bondage of slavery again. Uh, Christ has set us free. That means we're really free. Now hold on to your freedom and don't ever become slave to the law again. So this is really talking more in a theological context, like, you know, there was the law that was, you can read about that all through the Old Testament and New Testament, and it's like you become free. So you don't have to do all this stuff in order to be free. Like Christ has done that for you. So cling tight to that and don't dabble back and forth anymore. But in a context like sports or just in life in general, as you, especially in college, as you're navigating different decisions, you're growing into like adulthood and like what that looked like post-graduate, and you have to make job choices, relationship decisions, all that kind of stuff. What does it mean to you to be free?
SPEAKER_01I think it just means to be free of to not worry about other people's plans or to not worry about what other people's lifestyle is because this is God's plan for you, and God's plan is different for for you, for you, for me. Like we all have different plans that God has rolled out in our life, so we can't just sit here and compare. We just have to live free in this and trust in the Lord that his plan is perfect for us and not be like, well, well, Brandy at this age was doing this, and why am I not doing this? Like this is set yourself free, let yourself know his plan and trust it.
SPEAKER_03I was just gonna say, too, like for me, we we believe in trusting him to save us, but then like after that, it's like I start having fear of all these different things. And I can relate to what Taylor was saying, just like having to have surgery and coming back. It's hard if you really start thinking about it, but I would just say, like, one thing to encourage you is just to realize like God has set this before you. Like you trusted him to save you, trust him in this season too. Like be play free, like as much as you can. And if you feel yourself start falling back into that, you're falling back into your flesh. Like just live in the spirit as much as you can.
SPEAKER_02I think this verse alludes to the fact that we will have that tension and we will have that temptation to go back to what's familiar. Like, there can be such a familiarity with how we live that we just would rather stick to the familiar. And there's challenges to walk in freedom, so I'm not trying to make light of any s situation, but like it's like you could uh, if it's familiar to you, live in that picture and just say, I will never slide. Like I just won't do it. Now that could impact whether you get out there on the field or not, but you could choose that. Or you could also make the choice of like this is really uncomfortable, this is really not familiar, I don't like this. Every time I do this, I have to face this fear, but I'm going to choose this route. Does that make sense? And so it's not comfortable, but it's gonna that tension exists. Like we can't uh it's gonna exist for everybody, and there's choices to be made, you know, uh in any of that. So one of the things I wanted to ask you was you kind of already talked about it, but like what fears show up in competition or in life, and how does fear like does it impact your performance or your joy?
SPEAKER_01It used to, and I hate to say that, but I used to be defined by it, but it's the way that you look at it. Like I can't compare myself to someone that's never been through this journey, and that's what I used to do. It's like, well, she's doing this, but she also didn't have her whole knee reconstructed. But it's okay to re reset yourself, and it's okay, and I wish I would have told myself that, but our athletic trainer's really awesome, and she always made sure I was okay. Like one day I was in here in the weight room, and Marcy, my strength coach, she was like, All right, like we're back into weightlifting, let's do it clean without any weight on the bar. And I'm like, Okay. Well, she walks away because she's like, Oh, it's just a bar. Like my clean max is like one, I don't know, 175. So it's pretty heavy. Like, I I can lift. And she's like, do it clean. And I'm like, oh, okay. And I just start bawling, crying, and she walks away because she thinks I'm fine. And I mean, I would think I'm fine too because I can I've done a clean all the time. It's just the bar. Yeah, it's just the bar. And I'm just crying because I have so much fear in it. It's like, oh my gosh, like I'm back. Like, what if what if this happens again? Like this could always happen again. And she's like, oh my, she comes turning around, she's like, Did you do it?
SPEAKER_00And she sees me and she's like, Oh my goodness, are you okay? Like, I did not know. Like, I was like, No, I'm bad. I just can't stop crying. Like, I'm so scared.
SPEAKER_01And so she's like, I go to the bathroom. So I went to the bathroom, reset and came down. I'm still like and she's like, All right, do an RDL. And so I'm like, RDL. She's like, high pull, so I high pull it. And then she's like, okay, clean it. And I clean it, and it was the easiest thing ever. And she's like, I told you. I was like, I don't know why I was crying. Like, I just fear, but it's just like you just have to trust it. You just have to let God go. And I think I just put it in myself a lot, but you can't give it to yourself because that's what happens when you give it to yourself, is like you physically are restraining yourself from doing what you can do. And so I think that's just a huge thing right there.
SPEAKER_03To hit off that one thing that I had just read was when we went from a heart of flesh to a new heart filled with the spirit, but this is crucial because we don't need more of ourselves to achieve freedom. In fact, the more we're involved, the worse things get. And so I think that just kind of goes along with that. Like you're saying, like you don't need more of yourself.
SPEAKER_02And I think one thing that you've said kind of throughout is just that, you know, comparison, like I think that comparison also has a factor in how much we fear or how much we move past fear. Because yeah, you you cannot, your life, none of our lives are going to match up perfectly with the experience of somebody else. And so being able to be a part of a group, but then also see yourself individually and not get frustrated with like, well, I she can do this, but I can't, and not like it's very hard to, at least for my brain, to stay that way of like honoring the group and being part of a group, but then honor where I'm at and not putting pressure, unnecessary pressure on myself or whatever. And I think that what's beautiful about that story you told is that the involvement of other people to help us move forward and get past fear. Like I think it is a very something that can consume us in our lives. But when you have people like that, like Marcy, she totally knew, and not all coaches are like this, so it's really awesome you have a coach like that that can say, you know what, there's different components of this lift. She needs to have confidence she can do each component and then put it together. And so she had enough, you know, intuition and a maturity awareness to be able to break it down, to prove to yourself, and we need other people like that to have those, hey, remember when you did this? Because it could be it, it might be physical, but it could be a relational fear, it could be a variety of things. But if they have observed enough about our lives to be able to say, hey, remember this time, you did that. Hey, remember this time, you did that. And we just talked about the story of David and Goliath, and David even knew that. He grew in enough confidence that when somebody else was trying to put stuff on him and almost kind of make the situation, David felt pretty confident, but then like Saul's answer was basically making it bigger than you know what what David even saw. So he was confident, but then you have this leader saying, like, oh, you should be seeing this as a much bigger deal. Let me try to help you. Even David had enough confidence at that point to say, no, I I've killed a lion, I've cared killed a bear, I can do that. And so he grew in that confidence to like face that fear and make that choice, you know? Yeah. Before we wrap up here, is there anything else that's been on your mind that you are planning to talk about that you any other verses or anything, any other points that you want to say as we wrap up the episode today?
SPEAKER_01One point one verse that kept sticking out to me, besides Galatians, obviously, but Isaiah 41, 10, it's uh like, do not be dismayed, for I am with you. Plans not to prosper, but to fulfill something like that. I'm not the best at quoting scripture, but that really took me out because the Lord does have our plan for us, and he is truly. And Brandy pulled it up. It's do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I'll hold you with my righteous right hand. So I just feel like that. That's really showing that God is with us. Don't fear him, don't fear that because he is like he's the all-knowing God, he knows everything about us. So let's we have to trust in that. We have to be there with him.
SPEAKER_02And that's what I've heard as like a thread throughout your whole story is like that verse, it cut you having to come back to that, you know, that reference point of this is who he is, he's got me. Because we don't always have those answers when we feel that fear of like why something might be happening or what we're navigating, but it's like this constant that we can hold on to. Brandy, is there anything else you want to say on this topic before we wrap up today?
SPEAKER_03I would just say, yeah, I think that we also have in our minds, like we become a Christian and we're following God, and he is the God of the universe, and he's over all things, like it's gonna be easy. And we hear words like freedom or we hear words like liberty, and it's like, oh, well, that's gonna be like an easy, but it's really not. It's actually like at times harder because you do have to go through those tough times and cling to the spirit and the Lord instead of the flesh and the world.
SPEAKER_02So it can be a pretty complex thing. Like freedom, liberty is very complex, I think. more it's not this not as cut and dry because again we've been saved from something and so a lot of times your brain still remembers all that stuff and you have that tension of do I want the new like that's free of this like there's just a lot to sort through. And there's situations in life like your ACL tear that slows you down. Maybe in a season you didn't want to do that none of us want to do that. But then it you're in a new vantage point where you can see life and learn things different. You know so it's just those are opportunities. I don't I'm not suggesting like God's like up there just striking us like you get an ACL tear today. And you not like that, but whenever things happen that are unexpected or even if they are expected that it's just I think of it like that. Like I have a new vantage point, new view that I couldn't have had if I was in this other situation. And now I can see life this way. But okay, Taylor, that's our time for today. And we're so thankful for all of your contributions to FCA and to this podcast. What people don't know is that we've had some technical difficulties so we've had to roll with different situations. So I plan to invite Taylor back whenever we have normal circumstances so she can get a more podcast experience. But thank you for coming today. Thank you for taking the time to do this and thank you those who listen for tuning in and we look forward to getting together again next week. Thanks for listening to the Creative TV podcast. To learn more about FCA at Mississippi State visit www.msufca.org and follow us on Instagram at hale statefca underscore if you would like to become a financial partner visit www.fca.orgslash donate to sew into the work God is doing through FCA at Mississippi State