Arbor Day, Acorn Trees, and Becoming Secure (feat. Jay Zbieszkowski)

In this episode of the Created to Be podcast, Bethany, Justin, and Darius welcome special guest—MSU strength and conditioning assistant Jay Zbieszkowski—to talk about becoming secure.

But before diving into the main topic, the conversation takes a fun detour into Arbor Day—trees, childhood memories, and plenty of laughs about planting trees (and occasionally forgetting where they ended up). What starts as lighthearted nostalgia quickly shifts into a deeper reflection on identity, pressure, and what it means to be truly secure.

Together, they explore how security isn’t rooted in performance, approval, or circumstances, but in something steadier that doesn’t shift when life does. Through stories from sports, ministry, and everyday life, the conversation unpacks how real peace comes from knowing who you are—and who you belong to.

It’s a mix of humor, honesty, and meaningful insight—moving from tree facts to truth that sticks.

Send us your comments! Either use the comment link above or email mississippistatefca@gmail.com.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Those are the things I really had to like think about and like think about why I do the job. Is it like, am I doing this basketball job just to like be identified as successful because I never made it as an athlete? Like, is that more of why I'm doing it, or is it actually to impact people on Facebook? I can totally relate. It's a very mature question.

SPEAKER_00 0:23

Welcome to the Created To Be Podcast. We're excited to be back for another week. And we have a special guest with us today, and we'll get to him in just a moment. But of course, I'm Bethany here to help help host with my other hosts, Justin Pigett, my husband. Hey. And Darius Brown. Yes, ma'am. AKA Doc. And we also have Jay-Z with us. I am not going to try to say your last name, but you're more than welcome to tell the audience what your last name is.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

Yeah, so technically speaking, like if you're talking like an American, you'd say Zebikowski. But if you want to be like authentic Polish and say it the true way, we'll say Zbyszkowski. But it sounds a little too crazy in the States. So we just kind of Americanize our last name a little bit. Yeah, that's like the easy to understand version of it. So that's uh that's what I go by.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

Because like a Texan or a Ms. Zebakowski. Well, that's why I will stick to Jay-Z.

SPEAKER_04 1:22

Yeah. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

It's always been the nickname or one of the many nicknames.

SPEAKER_00 1:25

Yeah. Justin already asked him to rap today. We're so glad to have you here today. And last week we talked about becoming rooted. Taylor Pitts came to FCA and did a great job talking about that. And then we've asked you to speak, which you would have, by the time this comes out, you would have already spoken last night, if you will, and you picked becoming secure. So we're going to get into that later. But we uh want to just talk about real quick um the luncheon. As of the time this comes out, we will have already done the luncheon. Yes. So we're gonna pretend like we already did the luncheon. How'd it go, Justin?

SPEAKER_02 2:00

Oh, it went great.

SPEAKER_00 2:02

We sold all the items.

SPEAKER_02 2:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

We made a bunch of money for FCA.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:07

Darius did a great job on the coach's QA. Great job.

SPEAKER_04 2:12

Great job.

SPEAKER_00 2:13

The best coaches panel ever had. Ever had. Across the entire FCA world. Um, yeah, so we are recording in advance, so this will come out after. So we're just um speaking it into existence. That's right. We'll we'll appreciate listening back to this after we can't wait for next year. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Join us again. Um and then again, we have the pickleball tournament May 2nd. So just want to remind you, we're gonna just keep talking about that. Um, but that's our next event, which is gonna be And Darius knows what pickleball is.

SPEAKER_04 2:44

I know what pickleball is now. Yeah. I may probably just sponsor a team. I'm not gonna play.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

Could you sponsor me and Justin?

SPEAKER_04 2:51

I will.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 2:52

I'm gonna sponsor y'all a team. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:54

I was like, and that way, yes, I need hold up, hold up, hold on.

SPEAKER_04 2:57

Are y'all good?

SPEAKER_00 2:59

Justin. I mean, I'm okay. I can keep us in the game. I can I can do the but Justin is the I got confidence in y'all.

SPEAKER_04 3:06

I got confidence.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

Oh, yeah, that too.

SPEAKER_04 3:08

But it's okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got confidence. I'm gonna sponsor y'all. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

Yeah perfect. Thanks, Darius.

SPEAKER_04 3:13

I'm gonna be out there like Coach J uh Coach K. I'm gonna be out there like, I need we need to get shirts made and everything. Everything. JB. Yeah. Hey, look at that. J B on the JB on the front and Coach Doc on the back.

SPEAKER_00 3:26

I like it. Look, we won't let you down. He's gonna be like, you're gonna pay me back if you don't make it past the first round. We'd like to thank Darius Brown for sponsoring us today uh for the pickleball tournament. Um, okay, so the thing that we talked about again last week was becoming rooted, and we kind of got into some plant talk at the end. And then at the end, Justin said, We're gonna become arborists, or we need to have an arborist on the show, which made me look up like at first I was I had talked about did we miss the first day of spring? And yes, we had. I was way past that. That was like March something. But Arbor Day, do you know when it is?

SPEAKER_05 4:07

I do not.

SPEAKER_00 4:08

Okay. I know Jay-Z and Justin already filled in because of the show notes.

SPEAKER_02 4:12

Well, what is it, April 24th?

SPEAKER_00 4:15

Yeah, so it's always the last Friday of April. Yeah. Okay. Do you know what Arbor Day is, Darius?

SPEAKER_05 4:20

Again, I do not.

SPEAKER_04 4:22

I do not Darius says it's a learning podcast. I'm learning on this podcast just as much as the listeners. In real time. In real time.

SPEAKER_00 4:32

And I intentionally tell them I prefer if you don't look at the show notes in detail because I want, you know, a real answer, not a um practiced answer or informed answer if you didn't already know. So, Justin, what is Arbor Day?

SPEAKER_02 4:48

I mean, it's a day to celebrate trees. Celebrate Hug a tree. No, I mean it's normally that a day that um a lot of planting goes on too, and it tends to be a thing. I remember as a kid in elementary school for Arbor Day, they'd all give us a tree. Like they gave us like a little pine tree. Yeah, and everybody leaves with a tree, and so you go home and plant it at your house. Wow, somewhere. And then I remember planting my tree and it was great, and then I absol accidentally mowed over my tree when I was doing yard work and forgot it was there. So forgot it was there. It happens.

SPEAKER_00 5:24

Okay, so for the stretch time today, that's gonna be our topic. I just felt like we should, you know, since this is actually coming out the week of our Arbor Day, that we can talk a little bit about it. Um, did either of you have that same experience as Justin, where you received a tree? I was just thinking about how sad my childhood was.

SPEAKER_04 5:44

It wasn't as adventurous, you know, to have a they now I do remember, and I don't know if this was for Arbor Day. Is uh am I saying it right? Yeah, Arbor Day. Okay. They did give us a plant, and we took it home, put it in the window. Uh-huh. It's like you're trying to see.

SPEAKER_02 5:58

Yeah, they give you a bean plant. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:01

Something like that. Put it in the window, but I wasn't, you know, I wasn't really motivated. Uh, because I want to see it. Yeah, I want to see the the process. I to sit there and you you put it in the window Monday, and then you go Tuesday morning, it's like nothing has happened. So it's as a kid, I wasn't as excited. Yeah. You know, but I don't know if that was connected to Arbor Day or not. Yeah. Jay-Z, is any of this familiar to you?

SPEAKER_01 6:26

I'm pretty sure I got a plant of some kind at some point. I'm not entirely sure, but I would definitely lean towards saying yes, because I feel like that's something my school system would do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:35

Where are you from?

SPEAKER_01 6:36

Fishers, Indiana. Okay. Suburb of Indianapolis.

SPEAKER_00 6:39

Yeah, I mean, surely Indiana.

SPEAKER_01 6:40

They did a lot of farming up there. There's a lot of farming in Indiana.

SPEAKER_00 6:43

Yeah. Really? Yeah. Yeah? I didn't know this.

SPEAKER_01 6:46

A lot of corn, soybeans, all that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_00 6:49

Yeah. That's awesome. Okay, well, we homeschooled much of my elementary grammar school years. So you know, you would think homeschoolers would be all about this, and they probably are. But we didn't really do my mom's a math teacher, and so we just really didn't. I feel like the science, nature, that kind of stuff, we really just didn't get into.

SPEAKER_02 7:10

Well, she didn't like to sweat.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

That too. Well, she said that. Yeah, she doesn't. She I love you, Junior. Yeah, we're gonna do that. Yeah. So the one of the this is a total tangent, but growing up, her like rules for what sports we could play were they couldn't be sports, they were outside and untimed. Does that make sense? So I wasn't like she barely let me play softball one year. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_04 7:37

So untimed, I'm trying to I can get outside. That means track across country.

SPEAKER_00 7:42

Which I ran cross country, but that's timed. I mean, you would know how long it would take. She I don't know that she came like I did track and that did take a long time. Gotcha. But it was like scheduled, you know. But like a softball game, if you got into extra innings, could go on for a long time. My only question was she let my sister play tennis. So well and then tournament softball is like all over.

SPEAKER_04 8:03

Was she older or younger? My sister was younger. Makes sense. Yeah. You wear your parents down, man. It makes sense. The baby gets more access. Yeah, you started getting a little more open. Yeah. Yeah. I was and the reason I'm the youngest. So I So you got to do more. You got a lot more. Same. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:21

That's so funny. Um, okay, so Arbor Day is about trees, but they it's about planting trees, but then they expanded it like any kind of tree because they tried to make it Sylvan Day. Did you know that? And that means like forest tree. Oh. Which we know it we know somebody named Sylvan, so it was really funny to read. Sylvan Day. I know Sylvan Day, if I'm saying that right. I'm that's right.

SPEAKER_04 8:43

Are you telling me I need to go get a tree for Arbor Day to plant it?

SPEAKER_00 8:49

That's essentially what they Arbor Day plant.

SPEAKER_02 8:52

Tree awareness day. Yeah, the vital importance of trees in our ecosystem.

SPEAKER_04 8:56

Where would I get a tree though to plant? Do I have to go to um what you call them? Where the flowers are? The uh nurseries, gardeners, yeah. Possibly a tree from there?

SPEAKER_02 9:06

Yeah, yeah. You could do that. You could be a fruit tree if you wanted to forget.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

Yeah, so that's why they yeah, they changed it to encompass any kind of tree, not just like a forest tree. That's why they called it Arbor Day.

SPEAKER_02 9:18

They want to uh open it up to all trees. Diversity. No tree left behind. No tree left behind.

SPEAKER_00 9:26

Um so do you know where this started, anybody? What state? Can you guess? Michigan. Uh no. Ann Arbor. See I was an army. All right, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:36

See how my guess would be California. No. Wisconsin.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

You were close. You're in the vicinity.

SPEAKER_02 9:42

Oh, okay. Indiana.

SPEAKER_00 9:44

Close, I think.

SPEAKER_02 9:45

Illinois.

SPEAKER_00 9:46

Y'all are all like real close.

SPEAKER_02 9:48

Ohio.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

No.

SPEAKER_05 9:50

I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_02 9:51

Wisconsin.

SPEAKER_00 9:52

He already said that, no. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:54

No, you did.

SPEAKER_00 9:55

This team made the NCAA tournament for the first time, and it was kind of a shock because I was like, they should have been in this Nebraska. Nebraska. Nebraska in 1872. They never made the tournament?

SPEAKER_01 10:08

Or no, it was their first win, I think. Oh, yes, they had to win.

SPEAKER_04 10:13

I was about to say that was Yeah, for a big time TV.

SPEAKER_00 10:15

Yeah, I was like, that's sorry. Well I was thinking high point. Yes. First win. Thank you, Jay-Z. Yes. Because that was shocking to me.

SPEAKER_04 10:24

But but I I guess, well, yeah, it was shocking to me. I so I said I was thinking um, I said Wisconsin, but I was thinking Stanford. Oh, yeah. Because you know they got the tree, is like their, you know.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

I was thinking something like that, but yeah, you know Well, this guy named Jay Sterling Morton, he started this, and well, his name was Julius, but he uh he just like had this like love for trees. And I just wanted to read this to you. I'm not gonna like get into major history here. I just thought this was crazy that him and his wife settled on 160 acres that were treeless. No trees. And then he like spread the word about planting trees. He planted an apple orchard, peach, palm, pear trees, cottonwoods, evergreens, all this stuff. Okay, this was the shocking part. Today the family home, Arbor Lodge, is a state park in Nebraska City. Over the years, this lodge grew from a four-room home into a 52-room mansion, complete with a terraced garden, a pine grove, and 65 acres of more than 200 varieties, 250 varieties of trees and shrubs.

SPEAKER_05 11:34

That's that's that's I I'm gonna be honest.

SPEAKER_04 11:37

I got stopped when you said four-room home into a 52 mansion. I'm like, I'm trying to, you know how you try to think how we go from four to fifty-two?

SPEAKER_00 11:48

And then 200 and 250 varieties of trees and shrubs. On on this And this is 65 acres of the 160 treeless acres.

SPEAKER_01 11:59

Yeah. That's like Jesus multiplying the bread.

SPEAKER_04 12:04

Man, that's a lot. That's a lot. A lot of different trees. And then you gotta think, how can you remember those, like the difference between the trees? Yeah. You think about somebody coming over to your house and you say, yes, this is a acorn tree. And this is, I think, is a like, do they have like a I guess is it like a museum setup type thing now?

SPEAKER_02 12:25

I don't know. They have scientific names for each of the trees, and then you learn those. Like I was in plant materials class because I was a turf guy, and so I would go through and you know, we'd learn all the different species, and you learn the scientific names and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_00 12:37

So an acorn tree is a what?

SPEAKER_02 12:40

Oak tree.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

I just wanted to give you a hard time.

SPEAKER_02 12:44

But really?

SPEAKER_04 12:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:46

Wait, what?

SPEAKER_04 12:47

See, see, you know what? I think we need to get Jay-Z on the show, but we both tend out to no. See, but but Jay, this is the reason why I like this. Because I'm not by myself. See how you feeling right now? This is my norm. I normally feel this way. I I try not to say nothing, but I'm glad to have somebody here that doesn't leave me in the dark. What about those pine cone trees?

SPEAKER_02 13:09

Those pine cone trees. Hey, that's that he's losing over here.

SPEAKER_04 13:14

Um so that would be a pine tree. So I want to say this.

SPEAKER_00 13:21

I just thought that it was funny that he said we learned the whenever you say we learned the scientific name, I wanted to say the scientific name of oak. Um, anyways, because it's not anyway.

SPEAKER_02 13:32

Yeah, I should have I should remember some scientific names and start blabbing it out.

SPEAKER_00 13:36

Yeah. It's okay, Darius.

SPEAKER_02 13:38

I think some other trees besides oak trees have acorns as well. There's a lot of things.

SPEAKER_00 13:41

I had the I mean to be most or to be honest, about you know, six, seven years ago, I don't know. I just put the two and two together with the oak and the acorn.

SPEAKER_04 13:49

So But see, I would have never done that. Like, like I would have never said oak, acorn. Like, where's the correlation?

SPEAKER_03 13:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:58

I'm just saying, if you don't know and somebody don't tell you, like you you get what I'm saying? Like you t you speak it and it's like, oh, okay. Now I won't have to if somebody else said I can, you know, I I I will know what they're talking about. But I've never would have put that together.

SPEAKER_00 14:14

I know. It's great. Okay, so instead of going to your Lowe's or whatever, just go pick up an acorn and plant it. Right? Can't you just plant the acorn?

SPEAKER_04 14:25

Yeah. Let's talk to the turf guy. Yeah, you could.

SPEAKER_00 14:28

I mean, and just mark it with the flag. This is my arborative tree.

SPEAKER_04 14:32

He said he doesn't want to wait, though.

SPEAKER_00 14:33

So you probably need to get it transplant.

SPEAKER_04 14:36

How long that would would do you think that would take? Depends on the tree.

SPEAKER_00 14:40

So we planted we transplanted an olive tree, peach tree, what was the other one? Fig tree. I'm just thinking about the fruit producing ones. And that could take what, five to seven years, and that was already starting. A lot of those take a while.

SPEAKER_02 14:54

Fruit trees take a long time. Depending on how far, like how old they are already when you plant them.

SPEAKER_00 14:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:59

So some may fruit early, but that's not good fruit, and you actually need to get it off of there because it'll break the branches because it'll be too heavy, and and the fruit's just not good. So wow. Yeah, it's that's a whole sermon. That's a revelation. It is.

SPEAKER_04 15:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:14

Yeah, I was gonna say that's a little John 15 revelation there, you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:18

So one of the things that um this guy did is like he just was like super passionate about telling people to plant trees, and I didn't like dig super hard on his life, but I was just thinking, like, I mean, it says that whenever he was about like he died um at the age of 70 on April 27th, and just a month earlier he had written that he hoped to plant trees soon as the weather turned warm. I mean, like, and that he wanted to tell people like this was always on his mind. So I was curious if any of you have ever felt like that passionate about something where you were actually doing it, but then also like trying to convince people like an advocate for something that you just felt so passionate about. You're basically, I mean, this guy's entire life. I think that's kind of crazy.

SPEAKER_02 16:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:06

Anything coming to mind?

SPEAKER_04 16:07

Oh, I'm trying to think. I've been passionate about a lot of things, but to the point where I was trying to get others just to I'm trying to think.

SPEAKER_02 16:19

Kind of like a pyramid scheme.

SPEAKER_00 16:25

Multilever marketing. Yes. That's what Amway or Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is hilarious. Mary Kay. Um No, not a shot.

SPEAKER_02 16:35

That that may be good. I don't know. I don't want to know Mary Kay people under the bus.

SPEAKER_00 16:39

Oh my gosh. I don't know that we're having Mary Kay people listen to our podcast.

SPEAKER_02 16:41

Yeah, probably not. You're right. Um a lot of them are like, what's Mary Kay? Um Darius is probably like, what's Mary Kay?

SPEAKER_04 16:50

No, no, no, no, no, no. I no read now, I'm gonna say this. I know Mary Kay. Not the person, but the person why it made me laugh, and the reason why I was sitting there thinking, because I'm like, they are some of the most passionate, yeah, persuasive people I know. Like every person that I know, they it's like they will make you feel like you need, you know. So I was sitting there thinking about like every person I know that has done Mary Kay has been very passionate. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:21

So I guess that type of thing, like persuasive.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

Tree planting sales pitch is pretty easy though. I mean, if you want to breathe, yeah, plant a tree. Plant a tree. Yeah. You want air for your kids and your grandkids, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

Yeah. I didn't talk about that, but there are obviously like so many benefits from trees too. We don't have to get into the into all that. But um hold up again. You said air? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 17:46

Okay, maybe I will go back to that. Like just I'm just saying, uh, we don't have to spend long, but I wanted to hear Well, trees grow off of carbon dioxide.

SPEAKER_02 17:56

In the process, carbon dioxide is trees bring that in. And in return, they take that carbon dioxide and then they release oxygen. That is.

SPEAKER_00 18:05

And we don't obviously we don't need the carbon dioxide.

SPEAKER_02 18:08

No, we need the oxygen. Yeah. So it's a uh it's definitely a mutual relationship. Symbiotic. I was gonna say symbiotic.

SPEAKER_04 18:17

Hold up, hold up. What does symbiotic symbiotic mean so I can add that to my vocabulary?

SPEAKER_01 18:22

Both parties benefit from the relationship. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_04 18:25

Symbiotic.

SPEAKER_02 18:26

So it's like a synergistic effect. We all get better from each other.

SPEAKER_04 18:32

I'm getting overwhelmed. Symbiotic and then synergistic.

SPEAKER_02 18:37

Synerg synergetic. I you know, I might be stretching it a little bit too much. I like that though.

SPEAKER_04 18:41

See, these two words I can add to my vote. They're gonna make me something.

SPEAKER_02 18:45

There's synergy right now in our time. I got you. We're better.

SPEAKER_04 18:48

And it's symbiotic all at the same time. Look at that. You got it.

SPEAKER_02 18:52

Deep bag out here. Man, so much learning going on right now.

SPEAKER_00 18:56

Yeah. Um, so like a single acre of tree can produce enough oxygen for 18 people for the entire year. If this article is correct.

SPEAKER_04 19:03

For the entire year. Right. That's wow. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 19:07

This was cool too, and this kind of goes back to like our plant analogies, but trees also help the environment preventing soil erosion by holding soil in place with their roots. I didn't think about that. Yeah. So they also conserve water by shading the soil and reducing water evaporation. Yes.

SPEAKER_05 19:24

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 19:25

So that's one thing that I was like, oh yeah, I mean, I guess that makes sense that the trees hold the essentially hold the ground in place. Yes. Is that how you would say that?

SPEAKER_02 19:33

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:35

Anything else you want to say about that?

SPEAKER_02 19:37

I mean, they do that, but not necessarily. I mean, I could get into the grass stuff too. Yes. Not trees, but it's similar.

SPEAKER_00 19:44

What do you want to say about grass, Justin?

SPEAKER_02 19:46

Well, grass removes heat. So it's a great insulator in some ways. So if you why is turf so stinking hot? You know, it's got that black rubber on it in the sun, it just you know, it's 120 off the turf. Yeah. But when you have grass, it's not that hot. Same temperature, so it actually like pulls the heat in. It's like a buffer for that heat, so it's not as hot when you're playing on grass. Wow. That's one other cool thing. It's so much information.

SPEAKER_04 20:12

We might need to stop the podcast. Man, it's so much information that I guess that w the average person does not know. I mean, you know, I would have never thought that. Yeah. You know, and I didn't know he was such a um plantologist. Plant. I'm just trying to sound deep here, yeah. I'm trying to fit it in. I didn't know he was such a plantologist, you know, and and a triologist where he could give us all of this insight. But it's very, it's very interesting. So the grass absorbs the heat. That is, that is amazing to me. Yeah. Like it really is, because it's like you don't you don't think about it, but it's like it, and then it's also, and I'm not trying to take a uh exit here, but it it shows the uh the greatness of God. Yeah, like and how he puts purpose in everything that he creates. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:05

You know, and grass, I mean, why I mentioned grass is because it's big for erosion as well. Yeah. You know, that's what you have on the side of the roads, they're trying to put those carpets of seed blankets down in the grass to get it to grow. Why? Because the rain's gonna come and wipe out all that clay that they just built up, you know, and it's gonna erode, so that's why you gotta get grass on the side and all that stuff. It holds it all together. Root systems, all that. Yep.

SPEAKER_04 21:27

I'm just gonna say this to every listener out there that Justin is way more than what meets the eye. This man knows a lot. I was gonna say something similar, but that was like I'm saying, he's already a great guy, but I did not know he had all of this knowledge packed down. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 21:46

I'm glad I can use my major right now for such a time as this.

SPEAKER_04 21:50

Man, this is so impressive right now.

SPEAKER_00 21:52

Listen, on dates in college, he'd be like, You see this blade of grass? Like, that's nice. There's disease on this one and there's you know because he's learning all this stuff. That is a point.

SPEAKER_04 22:06

Fuck you. This is a feedback. That's the point for anybody out there dating. If you talk about grass, you can get a bethany.

SPEAKER_02 22:16

And have a mustache when you start dating with a win.

SPEAKER_00 22:19

Oh god. Well, we're here to talk about Jay-Z's story, so we can uh table the conversations about our dates later for later. Um but yeah, that's Arbor Day. So Friday 24th, the day that Darius can plant an acorn in his yard.

SPEAKER_02 22:35

Plant a tree.

SPEAKER_00 22:37

And uh say this is gonna be my mighty oak coming up. Okay, Jay-Z. Sorry for all the um goofiness here on the front end of the podcast. We want to get into your story. So you're currently a strength and conditioning assistant here at Mississippi State with the baseball team, cheer and dance, men's and women's basketball. Do you have a favorite?

unknown 22:57

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 22:59

It's hard to pick favorites, especially out in public, but I've got one if I wanted to. Yeah, you can. Um you're welcome to say that or not. Baseball.

SPEAKER_02 23:12

Is it baseball?

SPEAKER_00 23:14

Did you play baseball? Okay.

SPEAKER_01 23:16

No, I didn't play baseball growing up though.

SPEAKER_00 23:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

Um wish I did.

SPEAKER_02 23:19

They're a fun group, man. They're a fun group.

SPEAKER_01 23:21

Great team. Love the staff, love the culture they have, and excited to see what they do.

SPEAKER_00 23:25

Yeah, that's awesome. So can you share with our listeners just a little bit about your story, like where you grew up, how you got to Mississippi State, anything you want to share in that regard?

SPEAKER_01 23:33

Yeah, I'll try to make it pretty quick, but um, yeah, I grew up in a suburb of Indianapolis, Indiana. Um, I don't really grow up with much of a church background, really. My parents were both raised Catholic, but they never got confirmed. Um, so I grew up going to church like on occasion. We'd sometimes go to Catholic church when we were back in Buffalo where my parents are from. Then some of our best friends and neighbors would go to a Lutheran church, so we would go with them sometimes. But Christianity and like faith and Jesus wasn't really like the centerpiece of my family growing up. It was more about just like working hard, um, being a good person, like treating others with kindness and all the basic like morality kind of things like that. So I would say I still I still came from like a good, like moral family, but the it was just like the missing piece was like the lack of like emphasis and faith and what drives everything we do. So yeah, I was I was in Indiana my whole life up until um I graduated from Purdue in 2023. Boilermakers. Oh yeah. Yep. And I got a grad assistant job, funny enough, down at Ole Miss. So that's what ended up bringing me down south into SEC country. So I was there from yeah, twenty-three to twenty twenty-five um for two years. Uh had a nice experience there working as a grad assistant in the fitness department, campus recreation. Oh, nice. Um did my master's in exercise science, and that's what led me to this job here after I graduated from there. Because I was unsure on what I wanted to do for my career still. I knew for a fact that fitness was my calling, and that's what I wanted to be in, and use that as my mission field. And I saw this opportunity here come up, and at the end of the day, I was like, it's a good opportunity for me and what the Lord's called me into at the time, and it's deeper than a sports rivalry. At the end of the day, it's about what side you're on with the kingdom, and I don't care if I switch one side of a college sports rivalry. I'd rather go where I can make an impact and grow and be a part of a good community and team, and that's what brought me to Starkville for this year. And it's been a pretty transformative year, and it's been a great year, and a big part of that has been getting plugged in with FCA and getting a good sense of community here. So I really appreciate y'all for that for bringing me on.

SPEAKER_02 25:47

That's good. Now, there was a moment when you're on Ole Miss's campus visiting in your Purdue church and you run into somebody. Yeah. Quickly walk through that story and yeah, how that was like a major faith shift moment there.

SPEAKER_01 26:00

Yeah. So before I went to Ole Miss, I would say, like, if you asked me if I was a Christian, I would just say like I identified as a non-denominational Christian. But if you like looked at the way I was living my life and my daily routines and what I believed and what my source of truth and what my master was, like my master was the world and my desire is my flesh, it was not Jesus and it wasn't the Bible. So legit, my first day when I moved down to Ole Miss, I was walking around campus wearing my Purdue gear just because I didn't really have any Ole Miss gear and I was just wearing what I had. And an older guy is like riding around in the scooter, and he sees me and my parents walking around looking like we're kind of out of place, and he like comes over and starts talking to us. Then he just kind of asked me like how I ended up at Ole Miss and what I'm gonna be doing here, and I told him pretty much I just moved here today and I'm gonna start grad school and start a grad assistantship at the rec and in the fitness industry. And he was just telling kind of his story about how he went to Ole Miss back in the day and he went to medical school through Ole Miss, and now he's retired, retired doctor, and he just lives around Oxford, and he pretty much just evangelizes out to the students and at the gym at Ole Miss that I worked at. So I had a feeling I'd be seeing him around quite a bit after our first interaction. Then I was at the gym working out the next day, and we meant ran into each other again, and that's where he hit me with this question that like really made me think about like where my heart and where my mind was at at the time. And he asked me, What do you think true success is? And but the way I answered the question, I was talking about like being happy, um, having a good job, being kind to people, just like the basic things that I was kind of raised up to do. And I realized there is like a missing piece in there, and the missing piece was Jesus and how he transforms our lives and changes why we do what we do. So like when he told me that, it really opened up my mind, and I was like, dang, I need to learn a lot more about like Christianity and stuff, because even if I s say and identify as a Christian and I'm not like actually a part of that walk and it's not a part of my daily routine, then I'm just kidding myself. So over the next few months, I've invested a lot of time like hanging out with him, studying the Bible, and eventually I got to a point where I realized I was like, Yeah, I've never been like transformed, I've never been born again, I've never repented and confessed and professed that Jesus is Lord and Savior for me. So eventually, yeah, I got to that point in January 2024 on the 17th and gave my life to Christ, and it was the craziest experience ever, and just the the peace and the joy and the the deeper meaning and fulfillment that came after that has been like so crazy the last two and a half years now. So it's been yeah, such a blessing, and that's been the center of my daily life and transformed the way I think. Yeah, that's all. So that's my testimony pretty briefly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:55

The miracle at Old Miss right there.

SPEAKER_00 28:56

Yeah. Yeah. Well, it sounds like the guy too wasn't like that, like in your face about it, like it was over multiple conversations. Would that be accurate?

SPEAKER_01 29:04

Yeah, so like at first, like we were just like he would he talked about that and it opened the door for me to ask questions, but like we were still just like building a good friendship at first, just because that's definitely a good way to do things. And yeah, he's retired and he was he's single now, so he's just yeah, he likes to just meet people and build friendships and do things with people. So like he was genuinely just trying to like, yeah, befriend me and make my experience at Ole Miss better, and it turned into something so much deeper than that, and it's such a blessing to like look back on, and we're still in touch a lot.

SPEAKER_00 29:37

And that's very cool.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

He's helped me a lot through my first couple years as a Christian and yeah, learning the Bible and what it means to die to yourself and pick up your cross daily and follow Jesus.

SPEAKER_04 29:49

Did you have yeah? What I was gonna ask you, do y'all uh are y'all still in contact today?

SPEAKER_01 29:53

Yeah. Yeah, he's still around Ole Miss and in Oxford, and we ended up actually leading a Bible study together that took place inside our campus rec center at Ole Miss. That was a pretty cool experience to get up and running. Yeah. And we would pretty much just host young, young men, like college men, and we'd have up to like 20 to 30 people in there sometimes. It was a it was a fun small group, and he got to like teach every week, and I would like run these slides up on the screen and like put some scriptures on the screen and whatever, and some visuals. So that was like a really cool way to bring ministry into the the place I was working at as well, there and set that up.

SPEAKER_00 30:31

Has any of that, just your own transformation and journey, like impacted your family?

SPEAKER_01 30:37

I would say there's there's probably been some impacts, um, probably more than I'm aware of. Uh it's definitely a tough topic to like talk about with my family still, because they're definitely like on the side of things where they don't want to like be super extreme about their religion or that kind of thing. It's definitely a different culture up north too, compared to like down the south. So they're definitely like a little hesitant on some things still, but they I think they do like see a difference in the way I act and treat people and try to serve others and not put myself first all the time. And especially with growing up and moving out of the house, that also helps with that too. So I'd say it's probably had some impacts a little bit. I feel like it's helped me appreciate and love my parents truly, and not just like the conditional part, but just the unconditional part. Like they're my parents, they brought me into this world and they did a great job raising me, so I'll love and appreciate them no matter what. And even if we don't agree on everything, I'll still treat them the same and try to do what I can to make their life better still, even though it's good to live down here.

SPEAKER_00 31:40

Yeah, that's awesome. Well, you have um some exciting things in in your near future because you are engaged.

SPEAKER_01 31:47

Yes, ma'am.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

And you also what is next for you once you wrap up your time here at Mississippi State?

SPEAKER_01 31:52

Yeah, so I'll be starting a new job in probably mid-May with Crunch Fitness as a I'll be starting off as a manager in training, then I'll be a assistant manager pretty quickly, hopefully. Um so it'll be kind of like what I did at Ole Miss. I was a grad assistant in our fitness department, and I pretty much helped manage our fitness department there in our campus rec center and our trainers and fitness instructors, and that's kind of what I'm gonna be doing at Crunch, except I'll be more focused on like personal training and sales and just our gym as a whole. So that's kind of the job I'm stepping into. So it's kind of staying here down in the south? Yeah, I'll be moving to yeah, Trinity, Florida. It's a little bit north of Tampa. Okay. It's a pretty nice little town out there. Yeah. So uh that's what's next.

SPEAKER_00 32:38

In um Lando Lakes and Wesley Chapel, Florida, just outside of Tampa, in our first little stint of marriage life.

SPEAKER_01 32:46

That'll be my first experience with married life. That's right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:48

Hey, the beach is close. That's good. That's true. That's good. That's true. Um, I had one more question before we get into the becoming secure topic. So do you I you're about to go back into that like rec fitness, gym fitness world, but after having your experience with teams, like do you think you'll have you have a preference and would want to get back to like college stuff, or you just kind of do you have a preference between the two?

SPEAKER_01 33:11

I would say if I had to pick, I would definitely choose just like corporate and just general fitness. I think for me, like I think that's where I have more of an opportunity to like really be a light and to impact more people. Like the I love college athletics and it's a cool, it's a cool scene, but it it can be kind of limiting, especially as you work your way up and you only become part of like one team. Like initially before I got here, I thought I maybe wanted to just be like a college basketball or an NBA strength coach, but with a role like that, you're almost so invested like in your team and your your schedule and life revolves around that. It kind of makes it hard to like be out in the community, to be at a church, to serve, yeah, and to have a life and like a marriage and a family outside of your job. So that was one of the things that really like kind of hit me hard. And I was like, is this lifestyle something I think I can do long term and maintain security, security of job?

SPEAKER_02 34:05

Yeah, job security. Yeah, it could be challenging.

SPEAKER_01 34:09

Those are the things I really had to like think about and like think about why I do the job. Is it like, am I doing this basketball job just to like be identified as successful because I never made it as an athlete? Like, is that more of why I'm doing it, or is it actually to impact people on it?

SPEAKER_02 34:25

That's a very mature question.

SPEAKER_01 34:28

I had to get really honest with myself and like really seek the Lord on like where he's calling it. I know. So that's why I ended up choosing to go back into this field, and I think I also think my skill set aligns a little bit better with working like in personal training in like small one-on-one settings or maybe small groups.

SPEAKER_02 34:45

Jay, how old are you? Twenty-five. That's a twenty-five-year-old question, right there. Yeah. That's good.

SPEAKER_00 34:51

Yeah, I mean, I think too, with that uh um world, like that gym world, like you you will get quite a variety, I'm sure. Yeah. So I would imagine that keeps you kind of like sharp, like you gotta, you know, multiple no multiple different types of people that you're having to make plans for or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 35:07

And he's also super extroverted as well. So Jay wants to talk to all people. Yeah, I feel like you'd be limited. I've seen these same 30 people every single day. That's true. That's true. That's true.

SPEAKER_01 35:16

Like, yeah. Yeah. Kind of going off what y'all said earlier, too, about like um with the trees and like the guy who's super passionate about that. Like, I would say that's me with fitness and health. So that's why another reason why I think like going into this industry, I think I can have a bigger impact because there's so many people out there who don't even exercise. Yeah. Like these these athletes already have enough help and they have so many people out there wanting to help them. But I think there needs to be more people out there helping just the general population, and especially as people like age and your bodies slowly weaken and die over time, like it's important to do something to kind of steward your body well because that's that's biblical. And also just yeah, for the people, yeah, if you're a parent or a grandchild.

SPEAKER_02 35:59

Somebody's got to help Darius.

SPEAKER_00 36:01

Sometimes I really do wish we had a maybe.

SPEAKER_02 36:03

I'm I'm just jacking with Darius, but you're not jacking with me.

SPEAKER_04 36:06

I am sitting here like I'm so convicted. I'm so convicted.

SPEAKER_01 36:11

No, that's yeah, that's a big reason behind why I want to I get into that though. And I also used to post content on social media about that, and that's something I want to try to get back into and um kind of transform the way my brand is and turn it into like a faith-based brand, and post a good mix of like fitness and health and body stewardship content, and also like post some just basic biblical content to spread the gospel and spread the truth out there and make an impact in many people's lives from a distance, even without being there in person.

SPEAKER_04 36:42

I know he has to speak on this, but I do want to say this. Um it is it is so amazing to see somebody who didn't grow up in a traditional, like religious environment, but you are so passionate in such a short time. You know, um being in the South, you know, we know this is what they consider the Bible build. So everybody kind of has some form for the most part. A lot of people, most people here have some form of religion, but it to come from where you come from, and then to hear your your story and how you gave your life to to Christ and how that has started to impact what you do. And you can hear it in your voice. It's so genuine, it's so passionate. I'm I'm just like wild. Like I've been knowing Jay-Z, talking to him, and you can see he loves God, but to hear your story, it makes it um, it just makes it that much more impressive, and I'm gonna say motivating, you know, to see that you at such a young age, I can only imagine the the things God is gonna do for you because your heart is to uh really be a blessing, you know, and when you got a heart to be a blessing, you will always be blessed.

unknown 37:59

Bars.

SPEAKER_01 37:59

Man, I appreciate that though, for real. It's all glory to God, and I'm just so grateful for what he's done through me and what he's done for me, and what he's continued will do for me.

SPEAKER_00 38:10

So before um Jay-Z has uh another engagement, like he's got something to go do, is what I'm trying to say. Um we need to give him a chance to talk a little bit about becoming secure, and then we'll comment on it um at the end of the podcast. But anything you want to say, any verses you want to share, um, just as people might listen to this for some extra content after the huddle.

unknown 38:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:32

Yeah, I would say uh yeah, growing up, I played basketball as like my main sport. Um it was like that was my idol back then, that was my everything, that's what I identified success with up until like probably my sophomore year of high school. So when I didn't make my high school team, it was like pretty defeating and like really caused me a lot of like I was like pretty sad about it, and that was that was what I wanted to do. Like I love basketball, and so that was my that was my identity, and that was where my security was. So when that like got taken away and yeah, I wasn't on the team, but I didn't feel like I was good enough, that really like ate away at me. So that's why I kind of picked this topic because it's so freeing to be secure in your identity in Christ and to realize that there's more to life than like what you do. Like it's at the end of the day, it matters like why you do what you do, and are you serving the Lord and working for Him or are you working for yourself and trying to glorify yourself? So like understanding that has helped me so much, just approach everyday life with what I do. Um I do have a few scriptures picked out that I'll I'll probably talk about on or uh I will have talked about at this point. Yeah, um one of those scriptures was Galatians 1.10. And I think that talks about am I trying to please men or am I trying to please God? So that was one thing that I wish I knew back then. Like I was always trying to please probably like my coaches, parents, friends, people like that, please myself and what I thought of myself. Um, another verse, 2 Corinthians 5.17, uh talks about being a new creation in Christ. So like once you have that change and you realize your identity is no longer uh in this temporary earth, but it's eternal and as a child of God, like it definitely takes some pressure and weight off of you because like at the end of the day, your performance in your sport, your performance at your job doesn't define your salvation. It's what Jesus did on the cross and what he did through you. It's like that's so freeing to know and to live in. Um another one is Romans 12, 1 to 2, which is probably top like two or three verses for me all time. Just talks about like the renewing of your mind, transforming the way you think, and finding out like what is the will of God and what is good. And yeah, at the end of the day, I can kind of tie it into the next verse. Matthew 28, 19 about doing the Great Commission. It's up to us to seek the Lord for those and to use those to not only like do the Great Commission and be a disciple maker, but also just provide for our families and provide for those people that we can impact, even if we don't impact them spiritually in any way, we can at least plant seeds with the way we treat them and serve them and love on them. So those are like some of the main things that kind of secure my identity now, like with whatever I do and wherever I go.

SPEAKER_05 41:23

Yeah.

unknown 41:24

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 41:25

Well, I would say you've you've been an example of that in your time here. Yeah, we've been blessed. We hate your leaving. Yeah. I'm gonna miss it for sure. But it's it's gonna be awesome. Yeah, you know, be a fun time, married, new job, yeah, uh new place, all kinds of stuff, man.

SPEAKER_00 41:41

And I think that you said new place, and that made me think like I think that's what is so significant about being secure in your identity um in the Lord, because that like you might move to a new job. You might your relationship status will change. Like all these other things have all these variables and changes. And so to put it in one variable that will change is gonna make you feel that like uh, you know, a little bit lost at times, but when your identity is um in Jesus and then like that's not gonna move or change. And so you can go move to Florida and be okay. You know? Um, you can get married and be okay. I mean, there's still things you're gonna have to figure out. Oh, yeah. But uh you have that to stand on. So Jay-Z, thank you so much for joining us today. Um there's so many other things that I could like questions that I have, but I know you gotta get. Uh, so we'll kind of keep this conversation rolling uh for a little bit just with some thoughts about becoming secure, because I'm sure there's some moments in our lives too that we're formative, just like Jay-Z mentioned, uh, you know, those moments that kind of rattle us and shake us, that kind of make us aware of that our security might have been in something else. Um so we'll talk about that. But Jay-Z, thanks for coming on today.

SPEAKER_01 42:53

Yeah, thank you all so much for having me. It's been a pleasure and yeah, looking forward to finishing out the year and everything.

SPEAKER_02 42:58

Yeah, we appreciate you, man. Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:01

Okay, so what does being secure or becoming secure mean to to you guys?

SPEAKER_02 43:08

I mean, just steady. Like, I mean, secure, security, you're set. Um no matter what comes, like there is a foundation and um I don't know, a structure of what holds you together. And so being secure, you're just not moved by stuff. Doesn't mean that you don't have a variety of emotions that come with things that hit. But you know who you are, how you operate, who you are, and you can just continue to pull from that place of strength to where you can face whatever comes. Um Yeah, that's that's just kind of what I think of initially.

SPEAKER_04 43:49

I I think um peace. Like, you're not like you was talking about, you're not moved, you're settled. Um In spite of anything external, I do believe that a lot of that is internal. Um, even just as JC was talking, I was just thinking about how being secure in your identity is not circumstantial. Like whether he's here in Indiana, in Florida, when he because he's secure, he doesn't have to worry about. Um I I feel like being secure in his aspect and and he teaches uh he's teaching us something, you announce to your circumstance who you are. Instead of letting your circumstance tell you who you are. It's like, no, this is who I am. You know, and I believe that that's the um that's one of the benefits of being in Christ because it it's such a personal um time that you have with God through his word, through prayer, uh, through things that we do, uh investing in our relationship. And what happens is in those moments, um we are convicted about who God says we are, in spite of who others or other things may not, you know, or who they may say we're not.

SPEAKER_05 45:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:14

You know, and so I'm just like just hearing this, I'm thinking about a lot of different conversations that I was having this week. And I remember just making this one um point. I said, um, I could tell there was a uh it was a young man at my church who's dealing with rejection, but it was through the form of sports. And he was, you know, we were talking about it, but I told him this one way to get over rejection is to know you're already accepted, which comes in the form of kind of what we're talking about, being secure, I'm already accepted, you know, and it takes the pressure, it gives you peace in spite of all of the movement around you. And so when when I think about peace, I think about um stability, I I think about settling, uh settling it internally. And so it just it's just so many different things um that I I think about when when we talk about that.

SPEAKER_02 46:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:10

Which is such a big topic in sports because these athletes are putting themselves in a position to fail and for these other things in their life to impact them so much. I mean, you don't have, yeah, sure, as a student or you you might be working or in these different environments where you don't make the grade that you need, or but it's like student athletes have all of that plus this performance every single day, even if it's not a game. You know, I think about these track athletes. I mean, they're supposed to be getting certain times every day, and it's exerting every part of their body. They're not, you know, some sports you you have these rests or you're not getting the reps because you're on the sideline, you're not a starter, something like that, but like that they're having to track you're having to put your whole body, mind, everything into these reps, and you could fail at that, like you could have a really bad day. So now you gotta deal with that on top of everything else. So there's a lot that could move you as an athlete.

SPEAKER_02 47:01

Yeah, and I I was thinking too, as you were sharing, Darius, about like the perspective of like, I'm gonna make it one day. Like you're always working to make it to make it. And when that can be flipped, I think becoming secure flips that and be like, You have made it. You've already made it. You've already made it. You already are something. Yeah. You know, and so that's changes your starting point. That makes it a secure place. Instead of always being on little fear, I'm not gonna make it or failure, all these things that speak into us, um yeah, you've already made it.

SPEAKER_00 47:29

I think that that can help you with that, like when you do fail. Yeah. It's like, yeah, you c you you did, but it's not gonna like rock you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:37

And I was thinking too about like even just the the value of getting to know your gifts and discovering what you can bring and what you can what makes you what you can bring to a team, what you can bring as an individual, no matter what situation you're in. To be able to know those things, to know who you are in that way is always not constantly compare. No, not constantly comparing to going and and then being able to honor other people's gifts. Yes. That's a whole step of maturity there, being like, Well, I'm not that, and that's okay. Here's what I can bring.

SPEAKER_04 48:04

We we the different parts become complementary. Yeah. As opposed to being a conflict to the person that's either standing by you. Of course, you know, sports has that level of uh competition, but especially when you're dealing with teams, it's kind of one of those things where I don't have to uh because we all are secure in who we are, the parts can complement each other. Right. As opposed to uh always being at odds. And so, like when you were saying saying what you were saying is just making me think about the the conviction piece. Like when I'm convicted of who I am, even if the result doesn't line up with what I know I can achieve, it doesn't bring me to the place of questioning. Am I really? No, I already know. I just didn't do it this time, but that doesn't change my stance on what I know about me. And I feel like that's one of the challenges that you see in sports, and I know they talk about a lot of it is more mental than physical, because it's and you can see it. It's like, how is this person who's been exceptional at this go through such a slump? And some of it you can start seeing where they're questioning. I'm questioning who I am, and it's it's it's it's amazing though when you can see that flip uh that switch flip where the the peace comes back. It goes back to this is not pressure. Like I remember asking um Justin one time, and this is just I'm not trying to throw him an alley hoop or anything. But I'm being I'm being honest. Be honest. I was asking him, looking at baseball, because being here and being around somebody who's played the sport and the the level he's played, and I would ask him, like, how does it feel, you know, going out there to pitch in the last in it, all of the game in that moment seemed like the weight is on you. And you're by yourself as a pitcher, nobody's out there, you know, and it's a just a full count, basis loaded. And one of the things that shocked me, he was like, Man, you wait, you want those moments. Right. And I'm like, man, I'm looking on TV and I'm like, it's no way I would, but but you're wired different. You know, and you talked about the time you've put in. You talked about just the things that have built you for those moments. You're convicted. Like, I don't, it doesn't matter if this is a full account, the bases are loaded. I'm not thinking about failure. I'm thinking about Justin just being Justin. You know, and that's that was so, for me, that was so enlightening to see that, you know, or or or to hear you speak from that perspective, especially with some of the things that I have seen.

SPEAKER_02 50:57

Yeah. Well, thanks. But yeah, I mean, failures form that though. Yeah. You know, it's because you failed or like haven't been successful that that forms that. But I was thinking of secure, becoming secure. I mean, just think about it all the time that you've been insecure about something. You know, just internally you think about that. Like, okay. It's that's kind of the alarm of like, okay, there's some growth that needs to happen there.

SPEAKER_00 51:26

Um Yeah, what about like what I was just thinking, how do how do you become convinced though, of your security? Like, I'm just I mean, you know, I mean, those are topics that you would probably hear about if you if you grew up in church, most likely at some point you'll hear about identity in Christ. Um, I just know it was really hard. I could hear those messages, but for them to be embodied and like I actually not only believe it, but I'm legitimately living from that place. I'm not even like you were saying earlier, I'm not even failure's not even in my mind anymore. Like I'm not that's not what I'm focused on. And I know for me, um, I tried a lot of times to like discipline my mind to think that way, but I had some formative experiences that legitimately just changed me. So it wasn't like um I focused so hard on being secure that all of a sudden I became secure. It was like I think those are the seeds that are planted, and then you go through things in life that kind of give you the option of like, are you gonna believe this now? That then as you emerge from that, you just you become different. And so it's like you're not even having to like effort into that anymore. It's just somehow you've changed. That's kind of that's a very brief like I could I'm not gonna go through all the instances that happened that way, but it was like an overtime experience for me because I would get very frustrated to know the truth, but not be able to experience the truth.

SPEAKER_02 52:48

Yeah. I know on the athletic side, I mean like great coaches. Big part of that. Um opportunities that the sports give you just in competition can help you in that spot, which is great. And then outside of sports, obviously you you can have many of those challenge upper opportunities as well. Um, but the value of people speaking into your life and calling those things out that you may not see is massively important.

SPEAKER_00 53:13

I would say that too, like this is not sports related, but thinking of a time that, like over a span of a few years, that felt like a pressure cooker for me, just that rattled my confidence and who I believed that not only who God made me to be, but also like I was discovering my gifts and starting to like allow myself to operate in that, and then those were being challenged um at the same time. And so I was just like confused a lot. Like, am I like I'm pretty confident this is. But then also I'm getting this feedback that like I should stop doing, you know, like being bold when I prayed for people in public. I'm talking about not anything that was like crazy, but it was like the expression of my faith.

SPEAKER_04 53:54

And like Well, I think like, well, I'm gonna just listen to both of y'all. I'm gonna I'm gonna combine two both of the things. Just it says something a while ago about um insecurity. A lot of times I believe that that insecurity in a lot of people comes from looking outwardly instead of looking upward. Yeah. I'm looking at what someone else is doing. Right. And I'm it's even if it's not intentional, it's a form of comparison.

SPEAKER_05 54:25

Sure.

SPEAKER_04 54:25

You know, and I feel like sometimes that kind of feeds into that level of insecurity. It's like, well, uh, and I'm just gonna use an example. I don't really, I'm not that good of a picture because I'm looking at somebody else who's throwing, I'm just saying 103, and I'm not throwing 103. So it starts when I do, it causes me to question. And then you was talking about uh good coaches, good having great people. I do believe that that is important, having the right people around, because one thing that I think we all have to be aware of is Satan doesn't want us to be convicted by who God has made us.

SPEAKER_03 55:05

Right.

SPEAKER_04 55:05

So he always will find some type of way to disarm or to discourage uh us being set in our identity. You talk about those gifts. I've experienced some of those same things. It's like um I've had people at times, and I'll I'll just say it like this for scenario purposes. I had people who who weren't fat who were not fast tell me not to run fast because they couldn't keep up. So now the gift that I have is causing me to question like, am I supposed to run fast? Right. Because I'm faster than everybody else. No, like it's so it comes down to who you're listening to. Absolutely. Because there's uh I even had to learn this. So my wife is an introvert, I'm an extrovert. So I've had to learn like the we what I call them arm wrestling moments, where I'm not trying to cause her to be how I am, and vice versa. To her, I talk too much. But to me, she don't talk enough. Yeah, yeah. You know, so it's kind of one of those things where you start realizing that um going back to realizing God made us the way He made us for a reason, and the pieces are to complement. So it's you you really have to get to that place of knowing who to listen to and how to listen to him. Because you're being bold like that sometimes because the enemy knows what that could produce, right? Man, he will send things to hinder. Right. And and and you talking about those moments for me, like what made me realize who I was is realizing who I wasn't. Like not being me, and I'm feeling empty. Right. I'm feeling like I'm not. I know this is appeasing you, sure. But me, I I'm I'm not fulfilled. I'm not like I'm I'm I can tell I'm holding back and and the holdup is not from God. Right. It's because I'm trying to make sure everybody, but you know, and so I I for me, those moments will at least, if they don't speak to me the truth, they will let me know. Like you said, something is bring awareness.

unknown 57:20

Right.

SPEAKER_04 57:21

And then I would just take that to God. And over time, like God is teaching me uh certain things, and I feel like that's where we can depend on not only our personal relationship, but also community. Personal relationship helps you to know what is your community and what is not.

SPEAKER_00 57:35

Like this, you know, so yeah, um, in that instance where I went through that time, I did have a mentor in my life that he was speaking a lot of life into me and reminding me, and he had tracked over years with me and Justin. And so it was like in the midst of new relationships and getting mixed feedback from trusted people, like this is not just like, you know, people I didn't know, that was causing confusion. It was very helpful to have this mentor in both of our lives in that time to be able to like one thing that I realized that he did really well, that just if you were kind of like in that place of leadership and you're secure in who you are to help other people become secure, is that he didn't he would remind me of who I was like who he saw in me that God has made me to be, which was very helpful. But he would also just like ask really good questions for me to answer for myself. So he would say, Well, how did you feel in that moment? Like when you did X, Y, and Z, like what was going through your mind? What was God telling you? What did you hear? And allow me to say it and then help me understand maybe what happened.

SPEAKER_05 58:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 58:44

And how things might have got wires gotten crossed, whatever it might be. Yeah. And then like sift through the feedback. Is this something that I keep or something I just throw out and keep moving on? And so if I didn't have that help, like I would it would have I mean, it very possibly could have like caused a lot more distress.

SPEAKER_02 59:01

And even the question like, how can you honor them? You know, that was a big one he would throw in there too.

SPEAKER_00 59:05

He'd be like, whenever you get mixed feedback about stuff, like how do you still honor that person? Yeah. Um, and so I just think having those people are so uh pivotal in being able to first of all discover and allow yourself that space to step into maybe some areas that you feel confident are who God created you to be but still uncomfortable. Um, you know, those people instill confidence. But then even as you hear those voices that are saying, no, you can't do that, you know, for a variety of reasons, like having those people to remind you, no, you've been doing this. Yeah. You know, it'd be like if somebody was watching David in the field, and then at Goliath, you know, if he needed someone else to be like, No, remember, I saw you do this thing in the field. All these people didn't see you do that over there, but I did. And so I know that's in you. So they might think this is wild, this is crazy, you shouldn't do that. Yeah. But like, this is who you are and who God made you to be for this moment. And so, um, okay, another thing I wanted to ask, and this might be our little final wrap-up here, but the other day I sat um Eli, our son, down, and we were talking about he was about to present his Science Fair project. And I remember going to this communication school training with FCA, which is one of the most intense formative trainings I've been to with FCA. And one of the things that the guy did, he's a very good presenter, obviously, he's teaching us how to do communication well. And after he finished, he asked us what we noticed about his presentation, like about him. And inevitably, someone always says, Well, you were confident. And he was like, Well, how do you know I was confident? I could have been nervous the whole time. Like, how do you confidence is not like a thing you do? So I think that you could say the same thing about being secure. Security is not a thing you do, but there are things about say confidence, for instance, that I was trying to tell Eli. I was like, Okay, so when you present, what would be something that you could do that someone would perceive as confidence? Look them in the eye, shake their hand, speak your name clearly and your presentation clearly, things like this. So if he were to do all those things, he could have been sweating nervous on the inside, but the judge could be like, Man, that kid was confident. Does that make sense? So I'm just wondering for like becoming secure, like for secure things. What are things that are characteristics of a secure person?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:26

Unapologetic.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:30

Like I am who I am. Even if they give uh like what I'm just saying, like you ask for certain feedback, like just say you go and ask them, how did I do on this? They're able to give you an unapologetic answer and not overly, it's like I'm I'm answering your question. Right. I'm not overly worrying about how you're gonna feel. Right. Because my mindset is to give you what you ask for. Yeah. And those people that I've seen do those things, a lot of times they are just very secure people. It's like they don't, I'm gonna say this, how can I say they don't live for the reactions. Yeah. You get what I mean? Like what I do, how I do, it's not about the response. I am what I am. You wanna you on the you wanna you get what I'm saying? Like, I am what I am, I am who I am, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:24

And um, you know I think I told you one day in the office, I was like, you know, as people get older, I just notice older people doing things like that, you know, whether they've been through a formative process or not, like it's just they reach a certain age where they're like, I really don't care. Yep. And and I was like, I've just had this moment where a few years ago I thought, like, why don't why do I have to wait till I'm 70 to act like that? Yeah. Like, you know, I mean, I do want to be tactful and I do want to be aware of other people and considerate and all those things, but just like this this point of this like jockeying around to make sure like people are pleased, or people at the end of the day, it's like so man.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:04

I'm y'all have been working this ministry for years. That's why I guess my question would be to you all like have there ever been times because of what you just said, you feel like I really didn't help this person as much as I could have because I was too into trying to keep from running them off or making sure.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:24

Oh, sure.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:24

You get what I mean? Like, like I know what I can say and possibly what I need to say, but I'm not trying to, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:34

Yeah, I think that goes into your topic though about honest. Like, what does it really mean to be honest?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:39

And truthful, truthful is people off before, yeah. I mean, it specifically I I think anytime we do a relationship series, it tends to run some people off too. Just be honest. You know, so because we're getting into purity, so we're gonna do a variety of things. And it's getting up in some space of like, well, I'm doing some good stuff, I'm going to church, I'm all this stuff, but yeah how you're leading this relationship is not not matching.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:03

So let me ask you this in the aspect of could you question your security if I'm overly focused on what they do after I be who I am?

SPEAKER_05 1:04:16

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:17

You get what I'm saying? Like, like, like, like what I'm saying is instead of kind of taking the mindset that they ran off because I mean I ran them off, was no, I was truthful with them and that's just not the place they were in. You get what I'm saying? And and and and I'm just I I guess I say that because like when you ask that question, the people that I have, I'm gonna say this, they the people that I've been around that have gotten the greatest outcomes, the greatest, like I'm saying they was able to help the most, they just didn't care. Right. Like they was just, and I'm not saying they didn't care like they were uh condescending. Right, or rude or like or yeah, yeah. Like I don't mean it in that right now. I don't mean it in that form. I mean it, but they were so convinced of who they were, they knew their assignment, they knew I may not do everything, but this is where I can help. This is where my strengths are, this is where my gifts are, and in the area of my gift, I gotta be honest. Yeah. Like, take it or leave it.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:18

And that speaks into what a security look like. It's honesty. Yeah. Yeah. Honesty is one of those. So, like, as I'm sharing directly with somebody, I'm very honest with my own walk and journey through what I'm telling them. Yeah. So it's coming from experience. There's no straightforward judgment type deal, you know. Another thing I think what security looks like is listening. Yeah. You know, you great listeners.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:41

Yeah, you don't have to be that person that tells somebody stuff all the time either.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:45

Yeah, and and and so you think that it it could be an insecurity thing of like you feel like as a leader, since I'm the leader of FCA or whatever, I have to have an answer for this right now, and it's gotta be Yeah. No, you don't. And everybody can have that kind of perspective. Like I feel like I have an answer if you're a leader in the ministry or anyway, anything. And sometimes you just don't. Just listen. And then the answer presents itself most of the time as you're listening.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:09

And it looks like what you're saying there, you made me think of another word, it looked like trust. Yeah. Secure people trust. Like you said, this you don't have, you don't have to have all the answers, and then you trust the people around you to be able to help in the area where you know you may not I I don't have the answer, but hey, my neighbor may have it. You know, my my the person I'm working with may. Or I don't have to be the end all be all. You know what I mean? And so I believe security looks like trust.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:41

And then you're not scared to get burned. Yeah. Because you will get burned. Yeah. But you're okay with that. Because you're secure.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:49

Or even okay if somebody, say you are honest and you're secure and you give feedback, whatever, you're not scared if they come back and they challenge that. Like, you know, I've I've seen that. Um, I think Justin does that really well, like, where there's follow-up conversations and he can maintain that level of like, well, the the conversation can still be open. Like if something was misinterpreted, you're not scared or offended if somebody comes back and says, You did this, you can sort through all of that to get down to whatever the issue really is. I've seen that in very secure people. Um one of the things I was thinking too is like I think security is which this isn't necessarily something that you can like do, but if security and kind of wholeness kind of are kind of one and the same where I think that really secure slash whole people aren't looking to, and you were saying this, I think, kind of like with the feedback or looking outward, like they're not looking to attach themselves and get draw something out of someone else. That's good. Like they can be okay in them own their own selves, and that's a bonus, yeah, right? Like I enjoy being around people, but I'm okay also if that's not the case. Like I'm not searching and looking for like I need your emotional attention, I need your this to be okay. Yes. Like I'm okay, I'm okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:10

Yes, what you said is so true because like one of the things I had to grow through, and I want to just say this while we're talking about this, like, life is a process. So people that are listening, like it takes a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, like I think you said it, Justin said it one time, formation is always happening.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:28

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:29

Um I re but I say that because to your point, I grew up on a many platforms singing in front of a lot of people. But when that platform got taken away, I find I found myself questioning myself. Right. Am I not good enough? And I remember uh God just dealing with me was from the standpoint of you know you're not secure when you need a platform to announce you. Like I don't have to have the stage. To to I don't have to have the moment. Like, if even if somebody else is in the moment and they're thriving, nothing of that should cause me to feel like I'm not, you like because I'm not secure. I need it's like my security, an insecure person needs something to announce outside of themselves validation. Right. And I learned that. And I'm I'm I'm going to say this, like, it was hard because you when you done built up, you what was hard for me, I built up so much of my identity on something that was movable. Right.

unknown 1:09:43

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:44

That when I didn't have it anymore, I'm talking about, I'm questioning, man, can I even sing? Right. Do I gotta give? Like, am I good? Am I has been? Like you go through all of these different questions, and then because you attach the uh activity with your thoughts, it's like, well, I I can't be that good because I'm not up there.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:04

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:05

I I I must not be as good as I thought. And I'm saying, but it was in that place where God really helped me to get to know him and myself. Like, and it's so freeing. Because I can celebrate somebody else, I can push, like, that's why being here, and I'm I'm just gonna give this shout out. The place of security that I've gotten to has allowed me to really work with Jeremiah and stand back and look at his gifts. Like, and Matt playing the guitar, like, and and not look at it as competition, but like, man, I can learn from them. Or, man, we all got these different things. When we're putting our playlist together, you know, Mary Ashley has these songs, and that's her style. And then I got my songs and my style, and Jeremiah and Matt, and like, and you make all of those pieces, but I know if I wouldn't have gone through that season, right, I wouldn't have been able to be what I am right now.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:00

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:01

Or experiencing what I'm experiencing. Because it was like, I have to have the moment. But no, security says with or without a moment, I know who I am.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:12

With the without an opportunity, I I'm um, you know, I'm sure of myself.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:18

Right. And also, too, whenever you live in that space of like, say you did get the stage, well then whatever whatever fuels that desire to have it, you're gonna need a bigger stage.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:29

You're not gonna be like it. So I feel like you either have two options, you have this contrast of you can chase the stage and feel like in that you'd be content or like secure about who you are, but you're still gonna have some self-doubt because it's not as big as someone else's stage. Yep. And you're gonna chase. Or you can go through a formation process to become whole and secure and then be like what you're saying. Oh, now I can like learn from other people and I'm not in competition, and I don't sure I can get on a stage, but I can also sit in the crowd and be content there too.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:02

And realizing, like, one of the things I have to realize as a minister is an audience of one. Yeah. Meaning, if God hearing me is not predicated on me having a mic or if I'm in my seat. Right. Exactly. I still can make a joyful noise unto the Lord. Right. You get on me? Like, like, it's not about that. And I and I'm gonna say the the blessing that I have now because I went through the formation, I gave myself to that process. You can see people who have the platform, but they don't have the the security. Right. It's a false sense of confidence. It's like you, you, you moving like that, but it's because it's like when when when and I'll just I'm saying I'm not trying to pull along, but I'm saying when I was on the flyer and everybody knew they was coming to see me, I can walk in the room because I'm on the flyer. Everybody knows. But when I'm not on the flyer, that same me, I don't have that confidence. I don't, and I'm saying, being in that industry, I saw that from a lot of people where security says God is enough. Like, if I don't have it, as long as he has me, he hear like he didn't, and I'm saying this, he may give you an opportunity to serve in those capacities, but he just didn't give you that just for that. I didn't give you a voice to sing for you to just chase platforms. It's good enough for the platform, but you never sing to me personally. Like, that's what formation taught me. I can sing in my seat, I can sing in my car riding down the road and literally sing to God. And it and it helps me when I do get on the platform, it's not about the people. Right. You know, they are part of the moment, but Lord, I don't want you to feel like I have traded you for the applause for me that should be going back to you. Right. You know, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:56

So I hope that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, totally. And whenever I I think the formation process is hard, but it's a gift because even whenever I stepped away from FCA in 2019, and um because I had other things in my life at the time that I wanted to invest time in, and it was just like there was just too much on my plate between like investing, helping educate our kids. I was running some long distance races, I started grad school, like something had to give. And one of the things though that was a gift about that season is that when we can't, when we are so identified by the thing that we do, like FCA, it was hard because when I did step away, it that question was, who am I if I'm not doing FCA? You know, like am I the same person? And so it really is a gift because you get to you get to discover more in that process with the Lord and intimacy with him. Like you get to discover, like, oh, I'm more than just FCA staff, you know, I am a mom. Like, what does that even mean? I gotta figure that out in this season. I am apparently an educator, like I gotta definitely figure that one out. Um, you know, things like that that like would have been missed if I just like clung to this one thing that I thought that I needed to be or have all the time or do, you know? Um, so I think for athletes a good question. Um, and it might not hit every you know athlete the same. Maybe it's a better, maybe it's a different question, but just like filling in the blank, like who are you without blank? So who are you without performance? Yes. Who are you without the identity of Mississippi State basketball player? Or, you know, and all of us can fill in the blank with that. But there's this um verse in Matthew 3, 16 through 17, and it was when Jesus was baptized, and when he came up out of the water, heaven was open, and the Spirit of God descended like a dove on him, and a voice from heaven said, This is my son, whom I love, with him I'm well pleased. And so that's you know where his confidence, his identity came from.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:49

Before he did a single act of ministry. Right.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:52

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:52

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:53

And do you know that that was right before he went to the wilderness?

SPEAKER_00 1:16:01

Yes, for the temptation.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:02

And the reason why that is so important, because God will solidify your identity before the temptation comes to get you to question who you are. Right. And that's exactly what like I get like it he but it was before he did a single act and before the Lord allowed him, or God allowed him to be tempted. Right. I'm gonna solidify your identity where it's you know. Right. This is who you are.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:31

And then you have a choice to make when the challenges come. Yep. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:35

Yep. Wow, it's good.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:37

It's good. It's a good, it's a good hang today, David. Good hang, good hang. Good hang.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:40

And it goes back to I love Jay's question he asked when he's trying to discern whether he's supposed to stay in athletics or is he gonna go to you know, the crunch fitness corporate type deal. And he says, Am I doing this just because my athletic career did not go the way I want it to?

SPEAKER_00 1:16:59

Isn't that crazy? We can make decisions. I mean, that happens sometimes consciously, but sometimes it's these unc like subconscious thoughts.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:07

There is an awareness that Jay has from just walking with the Lord. Yep. And so as you continue to grow in that space and and with the Lord and with the people that are around you that are gonna tell you the truth, and that you're gonna see them walking these things out in security, you're gonna ha those questions will come and it's formation. We've all had good examples, maybe not good examples, but like we've had things that have happened that have pushed us to the brink in these spaces, and the Lord's been really good to us in that. And so And what is that verse?

SPEAKER_00 1:17:40

I know it's talking about temptation, but it's like there's always a way out. Yeah, there's a way. So I think to me that just communicates there's always a choice. Like you can either stand you can either choose to believe who God says you are, or you can continue to wrestle with like fear of man, what people say, feedback, whoever's that's a never ending role. It's exhausting.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:59

Yes, it's never ending.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:02

So it's like either choose the treadmill of exhaustion that is all that, or go through formation so that you can come out the other side where you don't have to run on that treadmill. I I just don't even think there's any middle ground. Like it's like either or like hear your choices, you know. Um well, it's been a good hang, as we said. Um I listened to another podcast, and sometimes they're like, This episode's hot. Like this show's hot. Wow. Wow. Um so I think this is a hot episode. I hope. Hot trees. Hot trees. That grass absorbs all that heat. Um, but thanks for joining us today. Uh, we hope that this encouraged you in some way. Um, but we look forward to just chatting next week and uh we'll we'll see you then.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:46

Yeah, happy Arbor Day. Happy Arbor Day.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:50

Thanks for listening to the Created to Be podcast. To learn more about FCA at Mississippi State, visit www.msufca.org and follow us on Instagram at Hale StateFCA underscore. If you would like to become a financial partner, visit www.fca.org slash donate to sew into the work God is doing through FCA at Mississippi State.