Offloading Gear, a Sacrificial Pursuit, and Formation through Transition (feat. Madisyn Farmer)

In this episode of Created To Be Podcast, former MSU All-American softball player Madisyn Farmer joins Bethany, Justin, and Brandi for an honest conversation about the transitions we all face in life.

Madi shares her deeply personal journey of stepping away from college athletics and the unexpected grief that came with it. From discovering she played her final season on a broken foot to navigating the loss of structure, community, and identity, she opens up about the often-unspoken realities of life after sports.

Brandi reflects on leaving a 17-year community and what it looks like to trust God when the next step isn’t clear. Justin and Bethany unpack how seasons of change reveal what’s beneath the surface—performance-driven mindsets, fear of others’ opinions, and the challenge of redefining purpose.

At the center of it all is a powerful truth: God remains the same—even when everything else changes.

Whether you’re an athlete, a recent graduate, or simply walking through a season of transition, this episode offers a raw and hope-filled perspective on healing, growth, and learning to move forward when life doesn’t look like you expected.

Send us your comments! Either use the comment link above or email mississippistatefca@gmail.com.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

I just have to come to the end of what people think. Yeah. But the Lord won't sin. It wasn't comfortable. It wasn't easy, but you had to be obedient to the Lord over all things.

SPEAKER_05 0:14

Welcome to the Created To Be Podcast. We're excited to be back another week. We have a special guest. Darius is not at the table today, so we have someone sitting in in Darius' spot, which we'll get to in a moment. But I am one of your hosts, Bethany Pigett, along with Justin, my husband.

SPEAKER_02 0:28

Yo.

SPEAKER_05 0:29

And Brandy is back at the table. Hey. Welcome back, Brandy. It's good to be back. We know you're excited to be back. Yeah. And have this conversation today. And our special guest is Madison Farmer. Hi. Most people, well, not most. I mean, maybe a lot of people know you as Madison Farmer now, but um people in my life now. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

Other people? No. Nobody knows.

SPEAKER_03 0:53

You guys still have you as Maddie Kennedy in her phone.

SPEAKER_02 0:56

Most people probably do. Kennedy and my phone, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 0:58

So Madison Kennedy, yes. Former softball player here at Mississippi State and FCA leader. All American. Yes, kind of a big deal. Uh so, anyways, but we are gonna for the sake oh, you have lots of names here flying around. We're gonna go, we're gonna say Maddie today.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

Perfect.

SPEAKER_05 1:17

We're so glad that you can join us. We've been talking about becoming this semester at FCA, becoming a variety of things, like becoming secure, becoming I don't know if anybody talked about confident. You talked about servant hearted. Um I talked about formation. Brandy, you talked about resilience. Oh yeah, and Brett talked about resilience. So just a variety of topics of who we're what what do you say? I said ish. Um so just a bunch of topics about formation, and so we're gonna talk about like what how we're shaped and formed through transition because you've transitioned out of softball and into a lot of different things, and so we're gonna get into that later in the podcast.

SPEAKER_01 1:55

Perfect.

SPEAKER_05 1:55

And Brandy, you know, I I was out for several weeks and I feel like I missed so much, so much happened in that six to eight weeks that I feel like I was not, you know, available. And one of those major things was that y'all made a major change in your life.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 2:12

Um, and so we're gonna get into that, a little tease for later. Um, but I just wanted to highlight that this is episode 20.

SPEAKER_02 2:19

Whoa.

SPEAKER_05 2:20

Of season three.

SPEAKER_02 2:21

Way to go, babe.

SPEAKER_05 2:22

I am pretty pumped about that.

unknown 2:24

Wow.

SPEAKER_05 2:24

I realized that whenever I was, you know, um preparing for this. And in the past, like the first two years we did this, we did six episodes in the fall. And that was like my big like I did it. We got it done. Six episodes. So to do 20, I feel like is a little bit of a milestone. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I should have a cake or something here for us today.

SPEAKER_02 2:44

But we can take care of that later.

SPEAKER_03 2:47

And that was with a few weeks off from equipment and other things.

SPEAKER_05 2:50

So I mean, it could be more. Yeah, like we could almost we could be pushing 30 right now. Uh so anyway, I just wanted to highlight that because that was very uh fun to realize, to realize. Um, I like to kind of recap like what we talked about on the previous episode, not too long at all, but uh what y'all might have missed if you're just listening, tuning into this one is a pretty, pretty lively episode on gardening of all things. Who knew it could be so fun to talk about that?

SPEAKER_02 3:20

It just means we're getting old. That's all it is. Sure. Should be thinking about different things. Yeah, but Jeremiah is on the map.

SPEAKER_03 3:26

And he's not that old.

SPEAKER_02 3:27

Jeremiah is like an old soul, though. He fits into it.

SPEAKER_05 3:30

Well, a follow-up story from what happened uh was that it was Arbor Day when we recorded, and there was a lead up to all of that too, whole story. So go back and listen if you haven't listened. But that day I brought Darius a tree shrub situation of a plant. And Jeremiah and Shay just happened to go to we're going to Tupelo the next day. And so Darius is not here to give him a hard time, but I received video and picture evidence that this plant went in the ground at their house. However, Jeremiah is the one that planted it.

SPEAKER_02 4:06

And Darius just watched and smiled.

SPEAKER_05 4:08

So Darius still based on the picture hasn't plant like planted a tree on Arbor Day.

SPEAKER_02 4:15

But he's been shown.

SPEAKER_05 4:16

Yes, he was. Anyways, I just like that I got to give him a hard time and he wasn't here to talk about it. Um, okay, and then the last huddle for the semester will happen the night before this podcast comes out. So I also felt like that was why it was a good time to create some extra content to talk about transitions because people are about to graduate or people about to maybe move on to a different school or be returning, which is always awesome. Um, to see those athletes back here at state. And so I think it's just an appropriate topic to talk about. Like everybody has to go through that. Um, but we've been doing this a couple of times too when we know what's coming out, like when this podcast comes out, what will have already happened. And so we've been saying it went great. So open mic went great. Lots of students shared. Um, people reflected on their time for the um semester. Um anyway, but I'm excited to talk to Maddie and Brandy today about these various uh seasons of life and transition and lessons that we can learn from that. Um okay, so stretch time. Enough of all that other updating stretch time today. This is something that I have thought about when I see people transfer to different schools. And Maddie, you were at state the whole time? Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah. So I I don't know. So we're all like you were at state the whole time? Mm-hmm. Okay, we were all at state the whole time in our athletic careers. Yeah. Wow. So I feel like we might be kind of opinionated or biased on the whole I don't know, maybe we don't aren't on like the whole transfer thing, but and we don't have to get into that. But I have wondered, like, when people transfer, especially if if they've been to say four different schools in four years or five different schools, what are they doing with all this gear that they get?

SPEAKER_02 6:04

Or coaches, because coaches travel everywhere too. That's what I thought of when you brought that up.

SPEAKER_05 6:09

Yeah. What do you it's a lot of gear? It's a lot of gear. What do you do with all your gear when you graduated? You can have it all?

SPEAKER_00 6:17

Uh no. I it took me a second, but there were some things where I immediately knew I wasn't gonna use them.

SPEAKER_05 6:24

Yeah, how do you decide that?

SPEAKER_00 6:25

Uh I went through my drawers and I was like, I like this, I don't like this. This is one of my favorite things to work out in, so I'm gonna keep that. Um but I just went through and I just picked and I would let teammates was like, hey, I have this pile, come over if you wanna go through it. So a lot of times the underclassmen will come take it, and then you just put it in the locker room and say it's a free-for-all. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 6:45

You can all have it. Yeah. So what about you, Brandy? Giving, giving back.

SPEAKER_03 6:50

Um, that's a good idea. Because I know transfers too, like depending on the time of year they transfer, they miss out on getting the gear from that year. So it gives them something to wear. Um I've seen stuff at Revolution. Yeah, I've seen gear at Revolution. That's a resale place.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

Did just give more stuff away too. Yeah. Because it's been sitting in my garage for a year and a half, and I was like, it's time to go. Yeah. Yeah. So I took it to the Palmer thrift store. Yeah. Damn.

SPEAKER_02 7:14

That's a way I've seen a lot of gear in those places.

SPEAKER_05 7:17

You're like, oh, that probably was a coach that just like it's really kind of sad when you know it's like super fresh too. You're like, um, but Brandy, y'all's big news, maybe you want to break it right here, but I have a question about gear, but so maybe you break your news. I mean, if people don't know already, surely people do.

SPEAKER_03 7:33

Yeah. So we made a transition after 17 years to leave one high school and go to the next rival high school at that. And um, so we moved from West Point to Starbucks this spring.

SPEAKER_05 7:46

So 17 years at West Point, yeah. What did y'all do with all that stuff?

SPEAKER_03 7:51

Um, so I think it depends on the person. I grabbed some stuff out to make, like a blanket to have. And if we have enough, then we could do one for the kids too. But Brett's mindset was like, if I look back, I might get muddied in my decision. Like, did I make the right decision? Yeah. And so he was like, literally the next day, I gotta clean out my closet. So we had all this gear. Thankfully, Jeremiah helps over there, and he's the chaplain, so we were able to let him look at it. But I brought him three bags of clothes and like 20 hats. Wow. And I was like, go through it, what you don't want, take to the field house, give it to some of the coaches, let the players look through it. So we did kind of what Maddie did in that respect. Yeah, I just was thinking about y'all like 17 years. Yeah. There's a lot of like Brett's closet. He's like, Well, I gotta go shopping. He had nothing in his closet whatsoever.

SPEAKER_05 8:42

No, like and as I was like just Googling some stuff to come up with ideas of like how to talk about this, I didn't even think about the affiliation with a brand like Adidas, the sponsoring brand, too. What are the rules on that? Like if you go to a school that's a Nike school, so if you get some kind of Adidas thing that doesn't have, say, Mississippi State on it, but it's a nice, it's something nice, do you can you wear that?

SPEAKER_00 9:04

I think it depends on where you're wearing it.

unknown 9:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:06

So like obviously, you know, you're gonna wear what you want to wear because you don't want to be in your gear all the time. That's where when I was in college, there would be days where I was like, I don't really want to wear Mississippi State today. Right. Yeah. And 24-7. So tired of maroon. Yeah. And so I think a lot of people nowadays just wear what they want to wear, but it depends on the setting and the time that you wear it.

SPEAKER_05 9:28

Because like with yeah, because like with NIL deals and stuff like that. I mean, I was even reading, I don't know that it's required, but like some kind of scrubbing even of your social media. Like if you have new deals, like I just things you didn't want to think about. But I mean it makes sense. I don't know if that they like say you have to or else, but kind of like rule of thumb, you know, like it's not a good look if you have all this other stuff when you're now with this new brand.

SPEAKER_03 9:51

Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. But I never really thought about it. I know.

SPEAKER_00 9:55

Yeah. I mean, if you think about it like Mississippi State Athletic Socials, like you're not gonna have other brands on that. Right. Yeah. Like even if it is just like at a practice or something and there's someone that's not wearing Adidas, you don't post the Adidas. Yeah. Oh, you don't post the non-Adidas settings. Right, right.

SPEAKER_03 10:11

So that's what I was gonna say. Like if you're walking in to get ready for practice or game, like you can wear kind of whatever.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

Yeah, because people they like to feel good, you know, look good, feel good, play good. Yeah, like when you can dress up, go to the game, whatever you want to do. I mean, it's pictures are taken sometimes, so obviously they're gonna pick and choose. Like, if you have a Nike sign on your shoes, they're probably not gonna post your shoes, but you wear what you want to wear. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 10:39

Yeah. So um in college, did y'all have people come in their high school gear or in other Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:46

And they would wear their high school letterman jacket. Oh gosh. And what would you think of, dude, get that off? You're nobody anymore. Like you're not no. Yeah, we're like, take that off, dude. You're here. Like, we don't need to see that.

SPEAKER_05 10:58

You know, just there's a lot of unspoken rules.

SPEAKER_02 11:01

I wouldn't mess with people a ton, but it was just kind of like, come on, man, let it go. Nice patches and stuff, but like, you know, it doesn't matter here. We all are all starting over. Yeah. Like, we're all at the bottom of the totem pole, so just kind of put that away. Um, you want to go back home and watch your high school play? Wear that thing. That's fine. Um, yeah, there were high school stuff. Like I never wore, even though Picky Yun is maroon and all the colors match. I didn't wear Picky Union stuff here.

SPEAKER_03 11:27

Yeah, I just don't even think I notice like if people wear their high school. Now, a letterman jacket, I never even wore my letterman jacket, so I would notice that. Yeah, yeah, but like a sweatshirt or t-shirt from your high school, I'd just be like, oh, cool. Like, I don't even think I would notice on dog.

SPEAKER_02 11:42

Like now, today I wouldn't I wouldn't care. But back when I was playing, yeah, you're on the team, it's like, dude, no. One heartbeat, you know, like get that, get that out of here.

SPEAKER_05 11:51

Well, that's what I'm saying. It's like some kind of unspoken rule for like loyalty.

SPEAKER_02 11:55

Yeah, I don't care about your high school no hitters. You're here now. Like, you know, it doesn't I don't care about your home runs like over there. You gotta prove that here anyway. Yeah, that's just kind of I was I don't know, I could probably could have been a better teammate there.

SPEAKER_05 12:05

Well, I was totally ignorant whenever I came to a basketball camp here at Mississippi State. I walked on and I had just found like I didn't even know anything about the Georgia Bulldogs, but I guess at a thrift store in Texas somewhere, I ran across this Georgia shirt, and then I don't know if it's cool anymore, but used to 20 years ago, you would cut sleeves off of shirts, and that's what you worked out in. And I loved this particular Georgia shirt that I had, and I put it on to come into a basketball camp here at Mississippi State, and I was hoping to walk on, like walk on here. And my mom thankfully had enough awareness to say, you're not wearing that to camp. And I was like, I mean, I put up a fight a little bit like I love this shirt, like you know, look good, feel good, play, whatever. It didn't probably look good, but I felt bulldogs on it. Yeah, wrong ones. Yeah, and she was like, No, you just don't do that, Bethany.

SPEAKER_00 12:53

Wrong setting, wrong time.

SPEAKER_05 12:54

Yeah, like don't do that. And so I'm thankful. Oh my gosh. Like, what if that that could have been uh a no-deal situation? Like if I had walked into basketball. Definitely.

SPEAKER_02 13:03

Like I don't even know Coach Fanny. There was a funny moment um on the recruiting trail. I was playing for the Jackson 96ers, and Bianco, Mike Bianco with Old Miss, came and watched me pitch. That's how long he's been at Old Miss.

SPEAKER_04 13:13

Um Wow.

SPEAKER_02 13:15

Sorry, and like obviously through the ranks, he knows like they know I'm a state fan, but I had a Mississippi State baseball camp shirt as my undershirt under my jersey. And so, like, I had the jersey light coming off when I talked to him, and underneath was that, and it was just kind of a funny moment. Not that I don't know, I wouldn't have fit there anyway. It worked out and I wouldn't have played for him. I would have probably I would have gone to Southern Mist before that. But like, um, anyway, I just thought that was kind of funny.

SPEAKER_05 13:45

Yeah. Do you have any stories of teammates coming in to see this stuff? Oh, exactly. Yeah, you can't say. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:51

Um, my freshman year, like our very first team meeting when that fall coming in. We hadn't even started practice yet. One of my teammates, who was also a freshman, wore a Washington hoodie and state had just gotten beat in the regional out of Washington. And they're like, uh, take that off right now. I I really like it. I didn't think anything of it. Yeah, but we want to wear the heaven.

SPEAKER_03 14:16

We do think it all. I could see that over like high school, especially since they just played.

SPEAKER_00 14:21

Yeah, she didn't think anything of it though. She was like, I'm just wearing it. I don't care.

SPEAKER_05 14:25

Like But that's also interesting too to just think about like how times are changing so much is how much people because there's so much movement, are people really paying attention to those details, you know? I don't know. Yeah. Yes, they still like that, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 14:40

Yeah, but I thought, um, yeah, the people, I mean, there's the amount of gear that people get now, and just to think like if you're somewhere for one semester or one year and then you leave, I don't know. Like, I would want to keep some of the really nice swag. Like I we went we were at University of Texas before coming back to Mississippi State, and I had a few pieces that I kept. I gave most of my stuff away, but they were like some expensive things that I was like, I really like that. And I'm kind of a closet UT fan, especially if they're not playing us, you know, like I'm gonna cheer for UT. And anyway, but even that, like I haven't it's in my closet, but I don't think I've put it on maybe I've put it on once since we've lived here. Um, but I have it, and I'm like, why do I I don't know, I don't know that I'll ever wear this.

SPEAKER_02 15:29

But yeah, I I think for me, I coached and I had some gear from St. Leo, and um, and there was one top that I kept I really liked. It's a pullover, like that pullover up that state pullover type deal, and it's uh green. I still have that hidden somewhere because it's like the best pullover. I haven't worn it in a while. But it's somewhere in a box, and then going from there to shifting out of baseball to Mississippi College with FCA, uh it was such a great experience. I kept some Mississippi College polos. I got them occasionally when I pop back over there, I have to dig them up, but I got them. And then we kept some UT stuff with UT. I got a couple UT polos. There's some things you don't want to get rid of. I don't know, I haven't I haven't gotten extreme. Now having a bunch of state stuff, like the old stuff that we have, I distributed that to family, yeah. Same things like that. Um, I really have very few things left over. But Jimmy with FCA, when I took over here, was nice enough to hand me down like leave a bunch of stuff. And he was like, and he was like my size, so I'm like, thanks, Jimmy. So I started with a pretty good thing of clothes. Um and then I had a nice little welcome gift package that they kind of gave, which things have been cut then, so we don't get that stuff. But that's that's great. I was really nice. Yeah. Really nice. Well maybe pretty good gear.

SPEAKER_05 16:40

Maybe people think about this, but just being around athletes and and with the portal and everything and there being so much movement, I've that this has just been like a thought, like that maybe other people don't think about. Like, what do you do with all that gear, especially if you move a lot? The other topic, which we're not gonna get into that feels like a headache to me, that's why we're not gonna talk about it, is um transferring like to other schools and your credits transferring, like just what they have to do with what what hours are required, how far does it go? Does this school accept that? Like all of it just feels like so much because it turns into a lot of general studies majors. Maybe interdisciplinary or whatever. I guess it's gonna be you get to make you get to make your own thing up. Um but these things are included in the you know way that college athletics is now, and it's part of just transitioning to a new place. Like you've got to acclimate yourself with a new place, leave what leave what you had and move on to something new.

SPEAKER_02 17:34

And um anyway, I've I've heard stories of burning of things based on the exit. I've heard stories of that happening. So I just interesting.

SPEAKER_05 17:43

I just think it'd be sad if like you have these great friends' shoes would be one because it sometimes, but not always, are shoes like marked with the school's name, you know. But it's like you could have all these nice shoes and and never really be able to like wear them. Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_02 18:00

I'll take those shoe donations.

SPEAKER_05 18:01

I know, right? Um, but anyway, I've even seen some posts where it's like someone's announces they're going to this place and then they're going to this place, and anyway, it's like within a few days, and you're like, Did you already get acclimated? Yeah, it's it's very interesting, but all part of transition. So we're gonna get Maddie's story. We're gonna move it into maybe more edifying topic here. But um uh Maddie, would you just give people kind of an overview of your story, whatever you want that to entail? But you know, you can start if you want, like where you grew up, how you ended up at state, um softball, how you got into softball. I can give you some more prompts because there's a few other things. Right.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

Okay, I'll start with that then. So I'm from Montgomery, Alabama, but like Pike Road area, which is right outside of Montgomery. Um, my school, high school that I went to. I went there from K3 all the way through twelfth grade. Um graduated in class of 36, so obviously from a very small school. Um yeah, softball-wise, I've played softball since I was three because both of my sisters played, which I went to my nephew's three-year-old soccer game recently, and there's no way I was actually playing softball at three, but apparently that's the story. What you're one of how many kids?

SPEAKER_05 19:23

Like what how many siblings? Four.

SPEAKER_00 19:25

No, three siblings. There's four of us. Okay, and you're what? I'm the youngest. Okay. So I have a sister that is 20 years older. Wow. Um, my family's a little complicated. That's a story for another day. I have a 20-year-old sister, she lives in Kansas. Um, obviously didn't grow up with her. Maybe like maybe in your older sibling. Right. Yeah. Um, and then I have one that's seven years older and then one that's four years older. And so, yeah. Cool. I'm the youngest. Um, let's see, everybody still lives in Montgomery of my family, besides the 20-year-old one. Um how you got to state. How I got to state. Okay. So I played travel ball since I was like seven. Um obviously traveling around the country all the time. Since I was seven, yeah. So I got into travel ball accidentally. So obviously, like I loved softball, but like my sister was going to try out for a travel ball team in Birmingham and walked up, and they were like, Is it just her trying out or is it you two? And we're like, What? She's like seven, like, yeah, we have an AU team. So I ended up having my softball bag in the car. Wow. And so I ended up trying out for the team. Terribly enough. My sister did not make the team. But you didn't. I didn't. Typical younger siblings story right there. That happened. Um, so yeah, that's when I started playing Java Ball, and I guess was on the Birmingham team, another Birmingham team when I was 10, and I was on them for a few years. And then I switched to a New Jersey team, which we never practiced, like obviously, because we all lived all over the country and we would just meet at tournaments and play. Um, and that was like the time where we were starting to get recruited. So it was when I turned like I think it was seventh or eighth grade. That's when I started playing for them. Had to be seventh. Wow. Um and yeah, just meet at tournaments, whatever. And so probably I committed here when I was in the fall, like in tenth grade in the fall. Um but this is I always wondered how state found me. Like I never knew. So I got invited to a camp here um that same fall. I don't know how. My coach was like, Hey, you got invited, they want you to come to a camp. Like, do you want to go? I was like, sure. It was one of those like whatever elite prospect camps, whatever. Um, and I was on the team, we're like none of us were committed, like there was a team with all commits. Um Um or that we knew they were like probably gonna go to state and we were the team that was like, hey, you guys are here. And then we ended up beating everybody. It's nice. It's like you needed it, we needed a team for them to play. Yeah, I guess. But my like, I feel like it was my sophomore or junior year here. I ended up asking Ricketts, I was like, so how did you find me? Like I've always wanted to know. She was like, Oh, it was at that tournament in Chicago. And so I wasn't supposed to be at that tournament. Um, but the organization that I played for, like, I was in 14 year at the time, and they asked me to come play with their team. And so got a flight to Chicago, played with them. And then she was coming to watch Montana Fouls. I don't know if you guys all know. Yes. I think well, she was already committed, so maybe it wasn't her. But I knew Maybe say that name again. Montana Fouls. Alabama pitcher. Probably Mel Rush more of pitchers. Okay, no. Whoever she was coming to watch, like I think that she was on the team that Montana Fouls was on. Um maybe, I don't know. I know I got a hit off of Montana Fouls at this tournament because I knew she was committed to Alabama, and I was like, oh, I just gotta hit off her. Um but she was coming to watch somebody, and then I was playing short, and she was like, Oh, who's that? Um and they're like, Oh, yeah, she's like 14, whatever, 15. She's on our other team, but she's picking up with us. Um, she's like, Well, I like her. It just kind of happened, I guess, and wasn't supposed to be somewhere, and here I am, and now it led me to still living in Starkville today. You can't get out of here. Right, right.

SPEAKER_05 23:33

Um, all that to say, did you already know, growing up not too far, I guess, from here, did you already know about Mississippi State? No, not at all.

SPEAKER_00 23:40

So on this travel organization that I played for, we made a list of like 20 schools that we wanted to go to. It was in 14U, like right when I started playing for them. We were like, make a list of 20 schools you want to go to, email them like one through 20, who's your top? And the list is definitely somewhere still in my phone, but Mississippi State was not on the list. Yeah, wow. Um, and so I was really wanting to go to Alabama. That was my dream school. And they were yeah, they were recruiting me, but they were kind of stringing me along. And I can say this now because I've graduated and you know, I'm just living life these days. So that fall where I committed to Mississippi State, like they had already offered me, but Alabama was like who I wanted to go to, and they were just like stringing me along, whatever. And I so I had it came down between like Alabama, Minnesota, and Mississippi State. And I was like, Minnesota's too cold, um, not gonna go there. Um, and was waiting on Alabama to offer me, and they ended up offering two short stops in the class below me. Oh, and so that's where I was like, okay, fine, you don't want me, whatever. Um but Mississippi State obviously is a blessing, and I was so thankful that I ended up here. There's a reason I did not end up at Alabama, yeah. Um, and I think I life would have turned out so much differently had I gone there. Yeah. But praise the Lord, I'm here.

SPEAKER_05 24:57

Do you think this is a question just I had real quickly, it's not really the topic, but you did travel ball for so long. Like, do you think that's required nowadays in order to put you in a position to have to do it?

SPEAKER_00 25:09

Yeah, I think there are so many different avenues that you think you could go down. And so baseball and softball are so different in that regard too. Like, baseball, they don't travel all over the country like you have to for softball if you want to like play at the top. Do you want to level? And so my parents knew that from a really early age. So, like, I got sent on a plane by myself at 12 years old. And so to go to California, and because like my parents, they couldn't come with me. We didn't have the money where they got divorced, whatever they were trying to provide for all three of us, and it was just hard, but they knew we had dreams and they did whatever they could to make our dreams come true. And thanks, parents. And so my sister and I, like, we would just both be traveling around the country by ourselves and separately, same time. So probably lots of stress on our parents. But yeah, I think in the softball world, you definitely have to pursue that kind of creator travel ball. I wish it wasn't like that. Like, I wish you could play more locally and teams would come find you. But when I was growing up, like the best softball were the California girls and the California teams, so you wanted to play the best, and obviously that's who the top schools would be watching. Right. And so here I am. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 26:22

Can you imagine? Have you put you haven't put your kids on a plane by themselves? No. Right.

SPEAKER_03 26:26

My kids have never been on a plane. Okay, I didn't think so. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 26:29

So I wasn't sure. But can you imagine doing that?

SPEAKER_03 26:31

No. Uh when we've had that conversation before, I'm like, I just I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 26:35

I have tried to convince our kids to go even together, like Abby and Eli. And I'm like, I could walk you to the gate. You're literally just getting on the plane.

SPEAKER_00 26:42

When you get on, my mom walk me to the gate. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 26:44

Like I was like, my mom will be there. You can go if we could arrange something like that. And they're just like, you know. And I mean, I'm I'm not really confident. Would you like to be?

SPEAKER_00 26:54

I cried when she left, yeah. Um, and like we would always fly out of Atlanta because obviously it was cheaper, it's two hours from Montgomery. Um, and so my flight would it would usually be the like earliest one. So it's like 6 a.m. We'd leave the house at like 2 or 2 30. Awful. But you sacrifice to do these types of things.

SPEAKER_05 27:14

Um did you ever get used to it?

SPEAKER_00 27:16

I guess. Like that was just what life was. Like I was trying to get recruited. And looking back on it, I wish that I would have said no to some of those things. And my mom wishes the same too. Like, we've had the conversation, like now that I'm married, and Joe and I are like eventually, like Lord willing, we'll have kids one day. Um what we will do differently in the future with our kids if they want to pursue that. Because I think it took away from a lot of family time and it can do a number on a family if you let it. Yeah. Um and we've seen firsthand what that did to our families. And so I think I wish that we would have not played as much as we did. But also it led to life now.

SPEAKER_05 27:59

So I become more aware of stories like that when the Olympics come around because they do so many like feature stories. But I remember like uh seeing some stuff about Tara Lipinski's life. Um, I watched a Sean White documentary. Um, and there's just things like you see, and then like Alyssa Liu, her story was everywhere after this Olympics, and so you just uh yeah, you don't hear like you see the performances and stuff, but the I just wonder if those realities can be different. Yeah, you know, and I don't know that they I don't know. That's why I asked that question.

SPEAKER_00 28:32

Sports are weird. I still don't know like what to think about all of it, and like even I've lived it all, I'm done, I'm living a new life now. But there's so many good things that came out of it, but also so many things that were not great. And so a lot of things that I would have liked to have done differently, for our family to have done differently, it's just is what it is these days.

SPEAKER_05 28:53

I know we talk about like if our kids show a lot of like motivation and interest and intrinsic motivation. Um I think that you know we would consider some of those sacrifices, but we're not like itching just to like push them into sports because of what you described. Like we've been at every level of like division one, two, three, and you see different things at each level, but it's not all always all that it's cracked up to be.

SPEAKER_02 29:19

Yeah, now it's like a a good book tends to win over our kids right now. Well, the oldest two. Yeah, the oldest two. Little Ben now, that might be something else.

SPEAKER_00 29:27

Yeah, I mean, back to that like when I was getting recruited by Mississippi State and Alabama, it was at a tournament in Orlando where I was still like Alabama was stringing me along in Mississippi State, like they were at every single game that I had. Wow because they really wanted me to come here, and I was like, Oh wow, they really like me. Yeah. And Alabama was watching too, and so I was playing with my team, and then our older 18 year team in the organization that I was was playing there as well. And so I played five games in a row one day because I was trying to get recruited, and I was like, I cannot believe that I literally played five games in a row. Like my game would end, and they'd be like, Okay, he wants you to come over here and play because so-and-so's here to watch. Whoa, and then I would have to go back to my team and play, and then back to his. It was a whole mess. And like I I was like, I don't even think I ate that day, and I was dead. And my mom was like, Yeah, I really wish I didn't let them do that to you. I get fourteen or fifteen. And she was like, I wish I didn't let them do that to you. Like, that was not worth it. And like, yeah, I don't see why I did that. And so if we could do that again, we would have said no. Yeah, but good to do that.

SPEAKER_03 30:31

Well, it is a different world, like football. Brett doesn't understand all the traveling.

SPEAKER_00 30:36

Yeah, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 30:36

He's like, Why? And I don't know why that's so different. Like, why football? So there's travel football. There there is for like little kids, that feels like something local, but no, there's not, so that's why he doesn't understand the travel world. Joe thinks football is the greatest sport because I see what you're saying. He doesn't understand it in that sense because football doesn't run that way. Yeah. You train, run. There's not those outside opportunities. Yeah. They do travel when you're younger, but it's like local travel, yeah, just to get you prepared for junior high.

SPEAKER_02 31:08

Those recruiting budgets for football is a lot bigger too. Yeah. I think that might have a play in it because they're they'll come to you. Yeah. So you don't have to go to something big to be seen. And like all softball coaches go to Chicago, go to that big tournament and whatever to go, and that happens a lot more. They have that for baseball still too. Like they have those big perfect game tournaments, and well, those were crazy.

SPEAKER_03 31:29

Then they have camps you come to for football, which is that's how Brett got recruited. Yeah. Seven-on-seven camps.

SPEAKER_02 31:35

That's the good old way of recruiting the prospect camps. Yeah, I mean, a lot of the camps.

SPEAKER_05 31:39

A lot of those sports do that. Like the sports here have at least like one elite prospect camp kind of thing, which is interesting. Um, okay, so Maddie, I I'm like speeding through your story. You played at State, you had so many honors, all American.

SPEAKER_00 31:55

That was a lot that I did. No.

SPEAKER_05 31:57

No, um, but then you met Joe, who is your husband now. Yes. And then you played professionally for a little bit, right? Yes. And then you're in um OT school. OT school. So what do you want to say about any of that?

SPEAKER_03 32:11

Getting my doctorate.

SPEAKER_05 32:13

We're almost done. And you um also you do some of the broadcasts of some of the softball games.

SPEAKER_00 32:19

Well, life is busy and crazy and it's a lot different than it was. Um, yeah, I guess I met Joe. I actually met Joe through FCA kind of. Yeah. Um, so I have a a love for FCA. Yes. Um But yeah, life now it's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 32:35

Um I remember being at the huddle and seeing y'all sit next to each other and was like, huh? Yeah, it was like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:45

Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. He actually how I like found out he liked me, it was he asked to take me home from an FCA. Like he took me there because we like this group, friend group that we had, which is kind of how we met, but also through FCA. Um we had dinner at my house before this whole little friend group. We all went to FCA and he drove me to FCA with some other people, maybe. But then he was like, Hey, can I take you home? And I was like, Oh no. He likes me. And I freaked out and I told my friends, I was like, guys, I think Joe likes me. Um you you have to make an excuse and you have to ride home with your.

SPEAKER_05 33:24

That was my next question. Did you let him take a note?

SPEAKER_00 33:26

I rode home with them. And then I was like, oh man, I probably should have let him. But here we got married today, so it obviously worked out. It worked out.

SPEAKER_02 33:34

Yeah, it crushed him beat his core.

SPEAKER_00 33:37

I know. I told him that later, and he was like, Yeah, I kind of figured. You're just playing hard again.

SPEAKER_05 33:43

Yeah, you know, it's funny. So that's a little strategy for those of you out there, you know. Yeah, eat dinner before with a group and then yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:50

That was a cool thing that group did the dinners beforehand. I thought that was a good thing. Yeah, that was pretty life-changing. That's pretty that's that's not normal. It's kind of old school. I like that. It is old school.

SPEAKER_05 33:59

That's a good uh recommendation for people out there now, for sure. Um, so I just want to uh we don't have to get into those other areas yet, but the questions that we'll ask about like transitions in life might hit some of those other things that you've um that you've done since leaving softball at Mississippi State. So I just want to make sure people knew you had other things you had to navigate once you left uh that we'll refer back to. And then Brandy, y'all made this decision to move, so I just whatever you want to share about that, like what that was like, and I mean I'm gonna ask more specific questions, but yeah, it was the um longest, quickest decision we've ever had to make.

SPEAKER_03 34:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 34:39

Which we've been presented with this before, yeah, right?

SPEAKER_03 34:42

Yeah. So yeah, and it was wrestled with then some just the timing wasn't right. And so I think maybe that prepared him a little bit for it, but it was still just I mean, I think it was only a maybe a week span, but it felt like an eternity. Yeah. Um, and so just trying to figure out and navigate, and we really honestly had you been here, you probably still wouldn't have known. We didn't tell anybody because we didn't really want outside pressures.

SPEAKER_05 35:09

We were just kind of like taking it to the Lord and I literally saw a mutual friend on Facebook like post this picture of like this decision or whatever, whatever news source it came from. And I was like, this is a very credible person. I don't think she would be sharing things that are not like that's fake news or something out there, but then I screenshotted it and sent it to our staff text and was like, Brandy, tell me this is true, and then cricket.

SPEAKER_04 35:36

Like I think we heard from Brandy like four hours later.

SPEAKER_02 35:39

Yeah, but we we all were chirping. Darius said something. I was like, uh, hello.

SPEAKER_04 35:43

We're like, Do you need to tell us something, Brandy?

SPEAKER_05 35:46

It's like a clock emoji, like we're like waiting.

SPEAKER_03 35:49

That in that moment, my phone was blowing up. Oh, I bet. I went for a jog and I talked to no one. Yeah. I was like, I can't do this. I answered Drake's teacher called me, and I was like, Well, I gotta answer because it's a school if something's wrong. And she was like, Drake's okay. I just wanted you to know because we were real concerned, like how he was here, but two boys are in West Point still, and they loved their friends there, just like what that was gonna look like for them once the news got out. And so, um Which was kind of a mixed bag.

SPEAKER_05 36:17

You don't have to name names, but I mean there was some good and some bad, right?

SPEAKER_03 36:22

Yeah, I mean it was tough because I mean the boys were finally settled, I guess, in their new spot. And so, like, to be able to have to like transport them back. But honestly, we just had to put all that out of the picture. Yeah. Like, as hard as it was, we would surface questions like, what if this means our kids won't play? Or what if this means you know they get made fun of, or whatever. Like, we just had to put that all behind and just say, like, what does the Lord want us to do? And it was really hard. It took days and days of fasting, prayers like just drag us through the door if we're meant to go because we don't want to go. Like, um, you build 17 years of friendships and people that have your back. And that was one thing that made West Point special is there were five or six coaches that have been there that long. And so um that's very yeah, that does not happen this day and time. Um, and none of them really are looking to be the next head coach anywhere. Like they're all they all were like content where they were. And so honestly, at the end of the day, the people that mattered the most understood like when it was presented and Brett just explained everything. Say that again. Say that again. Like the people that mattered the most were the ones that understood. Like they they got it. Um they didn't fully understand completely, but they were like they knew credibility, they knew that it was something that the Lord was asking them to do because he didn't want to turn his back on his people. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 37:46

So I think one thing that is hard whenever you make certain uh decisions to transition out of something, I think it's very human nature to want to be able to articulate the why. And sometimes there are reasons. Um I I mean, just in the various uh decisions that we've made. But I'm thinking of this one time that we just felt like uh there was a new new leadership at a church that we were at, and we just felt like we weren't supposed to be there and we were searching for that. You're like, oh well, this is different, so maybe this is why. And at the end of the day, we had to just be like, it's just because we're supposed to go. Like it's not I'm not gonna throw this person under the bus or I'm not gonna say this or like build this case to give myself like, oh, I feel better about this. It's just sometimes you really can't explain it. Yeah, it's just like but it's just you want that because it feels like something can make sense, and then it's easier to transfer to somebody else, well, this and this and this, and then they can understand. Um but I mean it comes goes into that, like who am I fearing, the Lord or man? And I can't like bow down to that. Like I can't, I'm I don't, and I'm not even hiding anything. Right.

SPEAKER_03 38:49

Like I just know, yeah, that's and that was what Brett ultimately said was like I just have to come to the end of what people think. Yeah. What the Lord wants in. It wasn't comfortable, it wasn't easy, but he had to be obedient to the Lord over all things.

SPEAKER_05 39:02

So and also one thing that has been I don't know, Maddie, may this will be maybe helpful for you in the future or anybody listening, but we're at the stage of our life too where um Justin's 40. I'm not quite to 40 yet.

SPEAKER_02 39:15

41.

SPEAKER_05 39:16

But you are you 401? I'm 41 very much. You just got stuck at 40 for me. Okay. Well, I'm not 41 either. Um, but where you kind of like y'all had been there for 17 years, so I do feel like there is this point where you get to in life at a certain age where you kind of are getting to a point where you either are making a decision like I'm staying for the long haul, yeah, because I won't make a move after that. Like, you know, you're like, how many more years can I do the thing that I'm currently in? Uh, because this is probably the only moment that I could do this other thing for 20 more years, whatever. And so um that's a question I'm learning. If there's any change, it's like, can I do this? Uh can I see myself currently in my situation for till retirement? Yeah. And then that kind of helps make me like, oh, yeah, uh, maybe or maybe not. Um, so anyway, but when you're young like that, you don't I mean, you know, you're figuring out where you're gonna land for maybe however long. And some people are at your dad's been at Allstate for it was 40 plus.

unknown 40:21

Wow.

SPEAKER_05 40:21

Isn't that crazy?

SPEAKER_02 40:22

Yeah, and then my brother took it over.

SPEAKER_05 40:24

There's so much movement now with like jobs and stuff. I mean, my dad was at the same place for that's the old days. It's crazy. Yeah. Um, but we're here to talk about making those changes and those transitions and the lessons we learn along the way and how we were formed. Um, so Brandy, I had a question for you. Uh, what was it like? You kind of mentioned this, but to leave a community you were involved in for so long, did y'all face, did you feel doubt or confusion, or pretty like once you got your answer, pretty confident?

SPEAKER_03 40:53

Oh no, there was lots of doubt and confusion. Um which you mentioned the gear. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 40:58

Like he's like, I can't look at that because I may.

SPEAKER_03 41:00

Yeah. Um, I think too, what made our situation unique or hard was because like we have our community in Startville, but then like his work community was removed from the 'cause y'all have lived just for people that don't know, like y'all have lived in Startville for how long? Um since college.

SPEAKER_05 41:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:16

Since over.

SPEAKER_05 41:17

So y'all have lived here, but he's worked over here.

SPEAKER_03 41:19

Yeah, yeah. And so like I guess having the separation was nice. I never really realized that, but like when we went to the ball fields here, people might say, How's it going in West Point? How's the team looking? But that was like the end of the conversation.

SPEAKER_05 41:32

And it was removed from their life, whereas now their kids might be involved.

SPEAKER_03 41:35

Yes, yeah. So, um, but having friends like that long, and I think honestly, this is gonna sound crazy, but in the night was the worst. And I you know, I don't know if there's something to that or what, but like I remember Brett Bro preach, yeah. I remember Brett waking up and just being like, I'm so afraid I made the wrong decision.

SPEAKER_00 41:55

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 41:56

And so like he would turn on music and then I would just be praying and eventually he would get back to sleep. But I think like anytime, like there it is, like confusing because it's like, Am I making the right choice? Even though you felt so called to it. And that's what I had to remind him like if this is what the Lord called you to do, like we just have to trust. You can't think about all the details of what's to come. Like he'll line all that out, it won't be perfect. But so there's a lot of confusion, I feel like, yeah. Once you step into something like that.

SPEAKER_05 42:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:25

Have you felt that when you've made some of these postgraduate decisions?

SPEAKER_00 42:30

Yeah. It's uh it's very different. And mine obviously wasn't like a choice, it's just like life moves on and you kind of grow out of things. Obviously, I graduated, ran out of eligibility, but obviously making the choice not to play softball anymore, like after I played pro, like how did you come? Yeah, how did you come to that game? Well, my body was kind of falling apart, anyways. Um so I was already accepted into OT school. So I got accepted in March of 24, and I was supposed to chart in that January of 25. And so 24 obviously was my senior season. Um, so accepted into school in the middle of that. And then towards the end of that season, like I thought that I was just gonna be done playing softball. Like I didn't think that I was gonna go play pro or do anything, didn't know I had the ability to do that because it the pro scene was not it it came a year later, like the AU situation was the year after I started. Um and so I thought I was gonna be done, and so towards the end of my senior season, like I started having some foot pain, and we just were like, okay, fine, just we'll pad it up, deal with the pain, like you're gonna be done soon, anyways. And then um I was not done. I was not done. And we I like right after we um lost to Stanford and the regional, it was like that week following, I got a call from a Pro team, and then another call from the pro team I ended up going play going to play for. So like I had two options. I was like, whoa, I didn't expect to have any. But like, obviously, cool, you get to go play softball. And not a lot of money in the softball world. That's why everyone has jobs outside of softball. Um, but I think that could be changing in the future, near future. Um, so pro softball is only for the summer, like in America, it is. And so the team that I played for was obviously in Bradenton, Florida. Joe and I were getting married that summer. So our last two months of engagement, we were separate, which was very hard. And we long distance isn't our thing. But um, so we did long distance for those last two months, but then in the midst of that whole pro season getting married, whatever, my foot was so much in pain that whole time. Like, there would be days that I couldn't walk. And I was like, I texted Macy, who's the athletic trainer for stuff. I was like, Macy, I know you're not my trainer anymore, but like my foot really hurts still. Like, I can't walk sometimes. And she was like, I'll always be a trainer. But um, yeah, that's probably a problem. So we should get that checked out. So, like when I came back the week we got married, we got married and Starkwell came back, found out my foot was broke. And so I was like playing with a broken foot the entire last half of my senior season and that pro season, whatever, ended up getting surgery and taking the bone out. Wait, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_05 45:27

Was your foot broken at your wedding?

SPEAKER_00 45:28

Yes. Oh my gosh. That's when I found out it was broke the week of our wedding. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Um, so that was a trip, but my body was falling apart, and so it was kind of like I look back at it now and I talked to Joe about it. I'm like, yeah, I kind of wish that I was still playing because I miss it a lot. And I didn't know that I'd miss it as much as I do. Um, and it has been very painful for the past year and a half because it's like a broken heart that's like it just doesn't hope it'll it'll heal more and more over time. And thankfully it's like starting to get there where like it's okay now. I'm okay going to watch. That fall after I graduated, like Mississippi State, whenever they would have fall games, I could not go and watch. I refused to go because it made me so sad. There was one time they were playing a fall game, and Joe and I, he was not working back at Mississippi State at that point. We were driving past and they were playing, and I just started bawling crying. And um, so yeah, it's been like it's just like a roller coaster of emotions.

SPEAKER_05 46:28

Well, part one of my questions was like, How have you faced insecurities from like that world being removed?

SPEAKER_00 46:37

Um, I felt like and I guess sometimes it still comes, but I told Brandy the other day when she asked me if I wanted to come do this, like, you know, it's kind of crazy because yesterday I was sitting in my garage and I was like, oh, I finally feel okay that I don't play sports anymore. Um, but I feel like I had no idea who I was, and I was always someone that was like, I'll be completely fine with sports. I know the Lord, like I know who he says I am. I was not fine. But um it's just kind of just a weird time because like you play this sport for like 20 years of your life because and you sacrifice so much, yes, and it's that's all I ever knew. It's what made me who I am today, and all my friends were softball people, and I was always surrounded by everybody. And I think the hardest thing, number one, obviously not playing softball anymore, but number two, not being surrounded by everybody or people all the time, 24-7. And so that's what I talked to her recently about it. Like, even now, like I still feel so lonely sometimes because you're not around constant community, right? And community is really hard to find once you graduate. Yeah, yeah. Um you say that again, though. Yes, you gotta go for a new. And then they leave.

SPEAKER_05 47:51

And so I've also had the opposite um ish of like when we moved here, that you have the people that come and go, but that you also have the people who have lived here and potentially their families for a really long time. And so people are very friendly, but they have like a life and their rhythms already established where it's not as easy to like break into that with them. Like we've been in cities before this, and it's like cities feel a little bit more used to that movement, you know, um, and the schools that we participated in whenever our kids were there and stuff. So I just it was really interesting because it's really hard. And we we we don't have much crossover in our communities that we're a part of because of where the kids go to school, where we feel like they need to go to school, where we go to church, and then we have Mississippi State. None of those people are like the same people in any of those spaces. And in other places we've lived, we've had where your kids are playing sports and go to school together, at least two places where you're gonna see the same people. And we don't have that. Like, and so it's just very I'm like, what is with Starkville? Like this is really hard.

SPEAKER_00 48:56

Because it's a small town and you expect to see everybody everywhere. Right. And so it's just weird.

SPEAKER_04 49:01

It is weird.

SPEAKER_00 49:01

Well, we love Starkville, that's why we're still here. Like we loved our time at State, and obviously Joe works for State now, and he loves what he does, and praise the Lord for that, and working all of that out. Um Starkville's weird. Yeah, just Starkville's weird. But we we do love it, and I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 49:19

So you said that as you had this realization yesterday?

SPEAKER_00 49:22

Uh yeah, it was like um Or a couple days ago one day or two. I don't know. Whenever she texted me, yeah, I was like, oh yeah, I had this realization yesterday.

SPEAKER_04 49:30

Yesterday, that I'm okay with this, but some days I'm okay with it.

SPEAKER_05 49:34

Some days I'm okay. Okay, so what has been like the in just being able to reflect on the decisions? Are you like content with those decisions that you've had to make to this point?

SPEAKER_00 49:45

Uh certainly, because I think I know that the Lord works everything out the way that it's supposed to be worked out, and like we make decisions because he leads us to those, whether we feel like they're the wrong or not, you're gonna end up where you're supposed to be. Right. And I obviously this is so cliche and so cheesy, but like life is a journey, and so trying to figure out life through like the hills and valleys of that journey, like life goes on. Um and so yeah, I'm content, but as hard as it is to have those decisions either be made for you or to make them, you have to figure out a way to be content with it and just learn life now and live it now instead of being stuck in the past.

SPEAKER_05 50:28

Yeah, and that's part of just the process of growing up and yeah, maturing. Growing up as we're hard. Yeah, and hard. Uh Brandy, what it has it, I wonder if it's been enough time since making this decision that where you've seen fruit, like positive fruit of like kind of that reassurance of okay, yes, some days it might be more of like, what did we do? But then like the positive fruit of we are in the right place at the right time. Have you seen that?

SPEAKER_03 50:56

Yeah, for sure. No, Brett probably can name more than me being in it every day, but like um he really prayed about coaching staff and was very intentional with that because they had roles they could fill, and he was able to get um one of his best friends that he coaches with to come along, and for that to even happen, a whole another ordeal or situation had to happen a certain way, and he was just saying like he's so thankful that he did what he was supposed to do because he's just seen blessings from it already. Yeah, even from like the smallest stupid things, like in the morning he gets to go pitch to Lee Parker in the hidden facility, like they've never gotten to do that before because he's always gone to another town before, yeah. And so, like just little stuff, yeah. I mean, it's he's said time and time again, like he definitely is so thankful because the blessings have already come. Like, it's not like I said, not gonna be perfect, not gonna be easy, but and there will be days, but when you have those days, just remembering how good.

SPEAKER_05 51:52

Yeah, I was remembering um Josh Gilreath, who is on staff with FCA in leadership position way up in FCA. Um, but he was the director here at State for a while and he was our director. I can't remember what he said exactly, so I'm not like fully quoting Josh, but the idea was when like a season ends or something closes, it opens up an opportunity of things you couldn't experience before. And I feel like that was in the context of like talking about having kids because it was really hard. People talk about what's the hardest transition? One to two kids, two to three kids, whatever. Mine was zero to one. Like I was like, our lifestyle of going to Mississippi College, we served there with FCA, going to basketball games when we wanted to, baseball late nights with college juniors, traveling and trips. Yeah, and then we have our first child who desperately needed structure with her routine was like, oh, this is offensive. Like, I can't do what I want to do when I want to do it. And so it just um, but kind of it when you said that about Brett going with Lee Parker, like that made me think of that perspective Josh had because that was really helpful to think like, yeah, I can't do those things, but I'm also doing things now that I didn't get to do in that season. So um being open to like this is just I'm gonna get to experience more, a different type of thing in life than I could have done if I stayed over there. So were you gonna say something about that, Justin? No.

SPEAKER_03 53:17

I think the transition for athletes into the the real world per se is really hard because by the time you get to the fourth, fifth year, you're tired, you're done, you think you're ready for it to be over. I mean, it's exhausting, it does a number on your body, mentally, everything. And as much as like I want to say, sometimes skirt around saying, sometimes say, like you will miss it, I promise. Like, until you truly do, you don't understand, you know. Yeah, I mean, yeah, because I I could sit here and tell you, like, I had to medical release, and I was so ready to medical release because I was hurting so bad and my game was not what it was. But then, like, a year later, I was like, What am I even doing? And I had a kid at that uh well, maybe not yet, but I had gotten married, and so I was like, What am I even doing? Like, you don't realize that you're gonna miss it as much as it's a familiarity you have with life, and like you're saying, I think like the sport of it, but I don't even think that's the big thing. I think in the community, the people the road trips, the locker room, all that all those shenanigans.

SPEAKER_02 54:20

It's just great.

SPEAKER_00 54:21

It's like it gave you a purpose in life, and like you were working towards something, and now you're like, what do I work towards? What am I what am I doing?

SPEAKER_02 54:28

And the ease of your days were scheduled to dominate the day. Yeah, it's set for you. I had a really hard time transitioning into a coaching job after where I had to make my day. Yeah, it was really challenging. I only lasted two seasons because of that, I think too. I had a hard time. Um, yeah, and there's just a grief. It's just grief, it's grieving, and we don't talk about that at all. We don't talk about grieving enough. We just think it's after a loss of a family member or something, you grieve. No, it's a loss of loss. It's this is a big time loss.

SPEAKER_00 54:58

I can't guarantee I definitely grieve.

SPEAKER_02 54:59

Yeah, you that's what it was. That's when you drive by and you cry because that's it's grief and it's okay.

SPEAKER_00 55:06

Thankfully, you can go participate.

SPEAKER_03 55:08

What if you were sitting on broadcast and started crying?

SPEAKER_00 55:11

Well, that first season after that I broadcasted, it was really hard sometimes. I was like, I don't want to do it. Like I enjoyed it, but it was hard because I knew most of the team. Yeah, and so I think this year that's why it was easier because I don't know most of them, because like half the team was new, and really I only knew like a few or only played with a couple of them. And so it was much easier this year. And I was like, you know, I can like actually talk about the game, not have any associations, not feel like that's where I'm supposed to be. Yeah. Right. That's probably why it was the hardest because I was like, I feel like I'm still supposed to be there, but I'm not. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah.

SPEAKER_05 55:47

So one of the things that transitions do is expose areas maybe that we didn't know that we needed to grow. I think it also exposes where we have grown. Like if you have gone through other things before, you've gained some um skills, maturity, things like that to be able to hand handle the next thing a little bit different. So I guess you can go whichever way you want with this question or answer both, but like what skills have you noticed? Oh, this is a little easier because I went through that back there. Or, and or um, what has it exposed that you're like, man, I'm really this is really testing this part of me or whatever. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_00 56:25

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 56:27

Anybody can answer.

SPEAKER_03 56:30

I'll go for it. I got it. Um, I would say for us it was just like complete trust and obedience, um, because we tend to trust in our own selves a lot more than we like to realize, or be it, you know, like go on our own business doing things. And um I think to fully surrender brings you to a whole nother place. Um and in that like when that decision came, we just continually like prayed, played praise music, fasted, and I think that was the that was definitely the longest time I've ever fasted. And I would recommend that to anyone, like if you have a decision to make. And I I mean, even just on a regular basis, like it just like brought so much clarity, even though things still seemed foggy. I can't explain it. Like it was just such a it does bring a lot of just like a great experience to go through.

SPEAKER_05 57:22

And you had to make, I mean, a year ago, because it'd been longer than a year, really, because yeah, but you know, you had to make a decision about if you're gonna keep teaching or if you were gonna be full time. So I think it's really interesting that you walk that road ago that road and then and to be like here in Starfleet Mississippi State, and then I don't know, it's just interesting. Like if you had not made that decision, would y'all be? Yeah. I don't know. You never know how the dominoes will fall. Yeah. Um, but you ha that's that's kind of crazy that y'all had to do that like back to back.

SPEAKER_03 57:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 57:54

I don't know that many people have.

SPEAKER_03 57:55

Well, and then that year we took all of our kids to West Point except for Lee Parker. So I feel like the last two years have just been like shuffling. Change has never been a thing for me. Like, I'm good with the flow where the wind blows. I'm just I've always kind of been that way. It's much harder for Brett, but also like I consider myself a loyal person, but he considers leaving like you're just abandoning all things. Like that's like no loyalty whatsoever. And he's like, I'm over here preaching loyalty, and then what am I doing? Like um, and so I think change is okay, but it is still hard.

SPEAKER_05 58:29

Because there's relationships involved.

SPEAKER_03 58:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 58:31

I mean, I know I had to make a change one time in college, I got a job, and then some other things panned out to work for the women's basketball team, and I was really wrestling with that because I had given them my word or whatever, and somebody had told me like it probably was Josh, but like how you know, like in the business world, people do make decisions based on other things besides just like, oh, I'm supposed to be here. Like, there's a lot more factors. So it was helpful to talk to somebody that had a very much outside perspective than just this little bit that I could see, and how not everybody interprets the situation how I am or whatever kind of gave me more permission to like think a little different about it. Um, what about you, Maddie?

SPEAKER_00 59:10

Um, I I guess I'll go off of like what it has revealed in me because I always knew that I had this and stuff, but I was very much a perfectionist and like I wanted I wanted like people to tell me I was doing a good job in a way. Like at points I was like, no, I don't need people to tell me I do a good job, like that's not what I need. But I also wanted that. And so, like, but I think it's because you were praised your whole life for things that you did well, and it's just kind of ingrained in you at this point where it's like, oh, good job, Maddie. Like, that was really good play, good whatever. And so I think transitioning to life now and like getting married, and so I tried, like, in the way like I wanted to obviously still I want to be a good wife to my husband and serve him well, but I was doing it from like a performance aspect of like, you know, I want to make sure I like hit all the wife duties, do what I'm supposed to do, so I can like hit all the check marks and like get a praise, whatever. I don't I don't know if it was necessarily praise, but there's like times where I feel like I wasn't measuring up to being that good wife, but it would go back to like softball, and it's like when I wasn't playing well or wasn't doing whatever, it's like I wasn't measuring up because you know you're told you're not doing well, or you need to do more, and so you're always striving to do more. And so I think like transitioning to life now as a wife and just in OT school, like whatever life is now, like specifically related to the marriage aspect, like just striving for those things. But Joe was like, Maddie, you don't have to do those things, like I'm not gonna love you any differently, but like at the same time, like we like serving my husband like that is serving the Lord, like I'm not saying Joe is the Lord, you know, like I'm serving the Lord when I serve my husband, and not doing that out of a performance thing to get a to gain more love per se. It's just out of the goodness of your heart and serving the Lord, but that's kind of what it is revealed to me is like I have this performance-driven mind and I want a good job from people, and I'm striving for other people's opinion or their praise rather than just living my life, serving the Lord and doing what I'm supposed to do, just go go with the flow, go about life. Because I am very opposite from Brandy. I don't deal with change well. Um, but lots of change in the past two years. Yeah, it's a lot when I was thinking about all the things that postgraduate, you know, like after you graduated, and you went out like on top, like even though that's what made it hard, I think, because I was like, I wonder if I like didn't do well my last year, if I would have been better, and I've always wondered that, which is why now where I'm like, man, I wish I could still be playing, and like I'm like, huh, I wonder if I unretired, I would succeed. Probably not. But there's also a reason like all my family, they're like, no, your body is literally falling apart.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:01

You you need to stop playing, and you want to be able to enjoy your kids, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:06

And so like because I had hip surgery like the beginning of my season. Yeah, it's it was a I don't my body was like, okay, it's time to stop. And I wasn't ready for that. But that's yeah, I don't I don't even know where I was going at this point.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:21

Yeah, I think about our transitions. I mean, I learning how to remain until you were supposed to leave. Right. Like that's tough because I'm a kind of a loyal guy, right? Sometimes those things got forced on me to leave, you know, that happened early. But I think I've learned too like taking risk, like go for it. Yeah, you know, just go for it. And that comes through like prayer and like, yeah, is there peace and like learning what it looks like to like do I have vision for this now? Yeah, you know, do um yeah, do I see myself doing this five more years? Things like that. You just start asking those questions more and going down that road and putting those things before the Lord, and um and then learning like, hey, this it's not really that big of a risk. It's not that crazy. Like, go for it. Yeah, like just go for it.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:07

And also, you know, um whenever somebody does leave, like if they it's like if you stay too long at a place, you can hurt what is supposed to happen. So, like I remember Josh was here, and this was like a sequence of events that happened that impacted our life. Yeah, he left to take a position at Pine Lake, be the campus pastor at Pine Lake here in Starfleet. Bill Buckley, Bill Buckley was at Mississippi College, and he came here to be the director at Mississippi State, right? Yes, correct. That left Mississippi College vacant and we were crash and burning in Florida.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:39

Transitioning, I lost my job, we were newly married, uh we yeah, we just bought a house.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:46

It was we weren't sure what we were gonna do, but then like because Josh obeyed and left, and nobody thinks he nobody thought he would leave FCA and he actually came back to FCA, so but it was like because he took that step out, then it moved all these other pieces and then made that spot available for us to step into that was the right move for us. And so yeah, I think about that too. Like, if I'm so like just like like I just gotta keep doing this because this is what you do, when you do have those prompts or those movement on your life, like you could be keeping someone else from stepping in to their moment of obedience and trust, you know. Um, but then we've been in times where we're like, give me another re that you don't even have to give me another reason to leave. I got enough reasons to leave, and it's like, no, you're supposed to remain. I mean, we were at a place that we wanted to and got a call that would have been like optimal, um, or it felt optimal. It but we even knew when we when Justin talked to this guy, like that it's not like yes, our flesh would be like, let's get out of here, but we already knew, like, we might even not have this conversation, we're supposed to stay. And so, um, you know, there's times like that too where you're like, I'm not supposed to leave. But change of any kind. When we left Mississippi College and went to University of Texas, things were so good at Mississippi College. There was nothing wrong with FCA, but we felt this like if we get this chance, we know this will push us and make us grow in ways that remaining at Mississippi College, it just wouldn't put that kind of pressure on us. And we were right. Um, every time it's a whole new environment. We won't get into that. But um, I just wrote like change really shapes us, and I think that maturity and change goes hand in hand. Um, sometimes it's forced, like you were saying, life just happens. So our kids right now, you know, it's like their bodies are gonna change today and then tomorrow. Like they're just gonna keep changing and maturing, and with that, you have to be like, Oh, this is now what I do at this age, and this is what I do now. Um, but then other times you have to choose you you get a choice. Do I want to step into that change or that transition? Um it's you know, it's hard, but ultimately if you want to grow at some point, you're gonna have to. To be in this position of change that you know you're forced to change and then you mature in that way. So um one last question um it was that I wanted to ask is what keeps you grounded or what has kept you grounded when you've had to step into change and transition? What's kept you grounded?

SPEAKER_00 1:06:22

I mean, I think we can point the obvious clearly relationship with the Lord, but I I honestly think my relationship with the Lord changed from sport to now because like all I ever knew was the Lord through sport because that was my whole life and when I was thinking about coming here and I was thinking about my relationship with the Lord and what I would talk about on this podcast, whatever questions were asked, I was like, I think that I didn't know how to worship the Lord in life now for a minute, and there's obviously I'm still figuring it out, but it's because like I always had this set structure when I was in sport, and I was like I would do the things I would do, and I was seeking the Lord for my sport in a way, like kind of like obviously I love the Lord and changed my life, and I'm not the same as I was, and but my whole life, well, since giving my life to Christ, like that's all it was I was playing sport the whole time, and then I ended, and now it's like, so how do I do this now? Because like I was always always like kind of praying about things with the sport or just things around sport in general, and now it's just life. And so I was like, I feel like my relationship had changed, but it's not that like, yeah, relationship changes, but the Lord never changes and he remains the same. It's just like I'm in a different stage of life now, and you just relationships do look different in stages of life, and your relationship with the Lord changes, like how like obviously I'm talking to the Lord about different things now than I was then.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:59

So I think that's a great that could be a whole podcast. I've never even thought about that.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:03

The Lord's not wearing that Mississippi State hat anymore.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:06

He's throwing that gear away. No, but just the the thought of like um I know that I've stepped away from FCA in 2019 to focus on some other things, and we were also like raising our kids in this school that it required someone to be home two days a week, three days a week to like teach them at home, and then they go to school the other two days. And I was that person now starting grad school and stuff, but one of the things that it kind of exposed when I stepped away from FCA was mine and Justin's connection in marriage, and we had this realization of like so much of our marriage has been sharing spiritual experiences through FCA. Does that make sense? So it was like when we removed that piece, it was like, well, how much do we enjoy each other in general without that? Yeah. Like we and that kind of scared both of us, I think, a little bit, not scared, not scared, but just was like eye-opening of like, yeah, like let's think about the things, what do we do that we enjoy together that's not FCA or not?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:03

My example was like lifting up a rock that's been there a while, and you're like, whoo, what's under this rock? It's just kind of like wow, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:10

So that's what I was thinking about when you said that. It's like you've had these shared experiences with the Lord and sport that have been beautiful and awesome, yeah, and transforming. Yeah, but then you don't have those anymore, those experiences. And so then you're like, Well, wait, what? Yeah, we do this. Yeah, the how do we do this without that?

SPEAKER_00 1:09:28

Yeah, because life seems a lot more boring now. It's not boring, things are so good, but you have to like do do a lot of different things to make it interesting these days because things just don't happen like they would in sport. And so that's where I say, like, you know, the Lord does remain the same yesterday, today, and forever. Right. But my relationship with him looks differently now than it did in sport. And so I think that was that's yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:52

I would piggyback off of that, like having you has been massive, Bethany. Like through transitions, I'm like what it's like. Like just in transitions and change, you've got to have a spouse that is fully in it with you. And that is a support system that y'all support each other. I mean, the conversations that we've had and the moments and supporting each other and being each other's biggest cheerleaders and fans, but then also shooting us straight, you know. I feel like you've redirected me quite a bit. I don't know if that's I've done that a lot for you. I mean, there's been some times to encourage you and pull you off the ledge with some stuff because it's just it was tough. Yeah, you know. Um so just reiterating the importance of having a great spouse.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:38

Thanks, Justin. I appreciate that. What about you, uh, Brandy? Keeps you grounded in transition and change. Seems straight.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:48

Yeah, I would just say I'm kind of like Maddie. My first and only answer I can come up with is just my relationship with the Lord um and seeking him. But like Justin said, even if it's not a spouse, like if you're not in that season of life, like having someone that you can share with and that will just kind of help you see what's real versus like what am I stressing over or whatever that might not even be real, might not ever even come up. Um, so yeah, that's all I got.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:14

Yeah, man, that made me think of the term future tripping. Yeah, there you go. Like going into the future and imagining all the things that could happen is that's what I'm saying. When ninety percent of it doesn't even come true. And it's I'm sure that's a different number than ninety.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:25

Yeah, I just threw that out there, but it's probably not far off. Right.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:27

Yeah, yeah. Those conversations you have in the shower with yourself. Yeah. Um, but just uh how like having people there to hear some of these things to get you reeled back in to like I mean, I've mentioned Josh a few times and he was just important to have trusted people in your life that can and Bill Buckley's another one that has was massive for us. Um in a season of life where things were like this is all disorienting to me, and just yeah, so obviously time with the Lord and your own your own cultivation of that, but those trusted people in your life.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:02

Yeah, it's funny though, is like how different people can be. Like, I don't, I don't I would say I don't ever future trip. Yeah, hardly ever. So do you get anxious? No, okay, like I'm not a result of that because you don't do that. Yeah. But it's like you feel anything, Brandy.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:20

I'm just kidding. No, I do not.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:22

I sometimes wonder. But like even like Brett had what me and Lee Parker were laughing about in bed last night was the silliest incident to us. But this incident has like all night last night he was talking to us and different people, like just knowing the difference in people. Like he's got to talk it out. And I'm just like, Lee Parker finally looked at him and was like, Dad, it's really not that big of a deal. And he was like, See, I need people like y'all to bring me back to reality. Exactly. Exactly. So it's just funny, like hearing people and like the differences in people and brains. When you said this is what made me think about when you said something about talking to yourself in the shower. I'm like, I don't think I ever talked to that.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:01

She's like, I can't relate. Like, do I even? Yeah. In the car by yourself? No. I don't like your vacuuming.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:10

Like anything a song might go through my head. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:13

Where do you talk to yourself, Maddie?

SPEAKER_00 1:13:15

Uh, in my head all the time. I don't really talk out loud that much, but I have things going in my head constantly, and I run through a thousand different scenarios. Like I start my next clinical rotation on Monday, and this morning, Joe was getting in the shower and I had fallen back asleep, but I dreamed, I was like half asleep, half I know, half awake, but I was dreaming about what was gonna happen if I don't do this specific thing when I get there on Monday. I was like, wow, that is so crazy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:43

Look, you do find me. I do, I do talk to myself, I will just say I do that. And uh we Abby and I were at uh went to Costco last week and we had some things to do in Jackson, and I had the most awkward experience where I guess I was saying something to myself. I don't know, and I opened the stall like to go wash my hands. And this lady at the same time I'm coming out, she comes across and looks at me and goes, and I I know she had to hear me like muttering or whatever, and she just hi or hey, and I was like, hey. I don't even know if I responded because I was like, You don't know what I was talking about. Why are you talking to me? I don't even know you. I came out and I was like, Abby, I had the most embarrassing thing just happened to me. Um, but I was like, I guess I shouldn't have talked to me. South right there. I know. I was just like, okay, hi. Um, but anyways, okay, well, there's like a lot of things that we mentioned in this podcast that feels like needs follow-up episodes, so maybe we'll talk more about some of these topics in the future. But Maddie, want to thank you for spending your time with us um to talk about change and transition. Anything exciting coming up in life for you? You're just still plugging away at school?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:46

Yeah, just my next clinical rotation at TK Martin for the next three months. So I'm done. I graduate December 19th. Come on. Yeah, I have a capstone project that starts in the fall in the Starkville school district. So I'm really excited about that. And then I'll graduate and hopefully have a job. So if any OTs listen to this, please hire me. Thank you.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:06

Really appreciate it in advance. Um and Brandy, do y'all feel pretty settled in?

SPEAKER_03 1:15:10

I think so.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:11

We're in the middle of spring right now, so once that gets over, I feel like we'll be able to breathe a little bit.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:16

Maybe of who of your children were they in West Point at the beginning and then came to start well midway the semester?

SPEAKER_03 1:15:23

Luke and Brett Daniel both after spring break moved back over. That's crazy. How was that? I just it was okay. Luke was really excited. Brett Daniel was excited, but he was kind of like Did they have to do that? Like what was the No, well, Brett wanted them to do spring football here. Oh, I see. Since in the fall, this will be their team. So they had to miss like the last little bit of their baseball season there. So it was kind of hard because Brett Daniel was really living it up with his baseball team. They were having a good time, and you don't know, he just said it was kind of weird being dropped in a new place in the last some nine weeks, not even semester. But I love the story you told about talked about loot. Yeah. That you were like, Do you want me to walk you in? Isn't it him? Yeah, he's like, No, I'm good. I'm good. He's like, Mom, no.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:03

Like, okay, just check it. Okay. Um, anyways, well, it's always a good good hang on the podcast. So thanks for being here today. And of course, we look forward to chatting more next week. Thanks for listening to the Created To Be Podcast. To learn more about FCA at Mississippi State, visit www.msufca.org and follow us on Instagram at Hale State FCA underscore. If you would like to become a financial partner, visit www.fca.org slash donate to sew into the work God is doing through FCA at Mississippi State.