episode 9 - Breaking the Cycle: From Self-Sabotage to Self-Discovery"**

In this episode of the Magical Midlife Crisis Podcast, hosts Court and Meg discuss the ever-evolving journey of personal growth, focusing on overcoming self-sabotage, building self-belief, and the importance of surrounding oneself with growth-oriented communities. Through their personal stories and experiences, they aim to inspire listeners to unplug from societal expectations and step into their true potential. The discussion includes insights on creating intentional habits, the impact of community, and practical advice for personal development.

00:50 The Role of Community in Personal Growth

03:47 Challenges and Revelations

17:06 Digital Distractions and Personal Development

40:43 Closing Thoughts

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Connect to us both: themagicalmidlifecrisis@gmail.com --- Write to us! We'd love to learn about a magical midlife crisis story of your own or someone you know!

Transcript

0:01

.Welcome to the magical midlife crisis. Podcast. We are your hosts I'm court in Dai mag. We are both. Wellness entrepreneurs with a passion for freethinking and nontoxic living. We are a couple of friends who met on our transformational journey and we discovered. Covered through our crisis moments. We all have infinite potential within us. Us this podcast is about awakening to a different perspective and being the creators. of our own reality. We will be connecting with you through our personal stories. It's from the darkness to light. We hope you expand your heart and mind. And. Create the shift with us. So unplugged from the matrix and let's dive into this......... Welcome back to the Magical Midlife Crisis Podcast. This is court and this is Meg, and the topic for today is. Actually not much different than what we talk about, but because we are human beings and we are always growing, hopefully like Megan and I are choosing to, we weren't always, we were definitely choosing more of like self-sabotage. That's a big one. Both of us have identified with and didn't know we were identifying with it mm-hmm. In the past. Um, but we're just in the consistent. Growth mode. Mm-hmm. And like right now, we're hitting a lot of cool aspects of next level growth with our, um, with just our choices, our mindset, our business, our leadership, um, who's showing up as, uh, as people in our homes and our family and our friend life lives. It's just really cool to connect all these dots. That I feel like we've accumulated over, you know, the handful of years that we've been together and then before that, because the history of experiences that we've been through before, this gives us so much reflection of like who we are now and how we can help other people also step into there. Potential. Mm-hmm. And how it really, truly is possible for anyone. Which again, is not much different than what we talked about before. But yeah. And the truth is, majority of us have self sabotaging thoughts, negative thoughts. Um, no self-confidence, no, belief. But when you start to surround yourself with people that. Dive in and plug into that kind of stuff, and that are changing the way that they view themselves. It's, it'll help you start to see that it's possible. Yeah. Like, I mean, I still of course have self sabotaging thoughts. I still deal with confidence, um, self-esteem, but nowhere in the sense of how I used to be. Yeah, so it's just like, okay, I've already gotten through some layers of it and I know that there's a next level and it's just going through the grind, doing the work, plugging in, because I definitely noticed a difference when I plug in and when I don't. Yeah. And I think that was the biggest downfall that I had was being unteachable in the beginning of, um. US networking and I,, felt like I didn't need to, and I just felt so distant and I felt like nothing in my life was changing. And as change is extremely uncomfortable, we all know that that's where growth happens. And so I knew that if I wanted to stay who I am, then I'm gonna just keep not plugging in. But the truth is. We change when we get really sick of who we are. Mm-hmm. And I got really sick of constantly self-sabotaging myself and getting in my own way. So we are the only ones that get in our way, and we're the only ones that can get out of our way. So it's really. How do you wanna be? And that's when you know, and I think we've been actually getting this more and more.'cause like back when I was in talk therapy before I met Joe, um, this is COR by the way. Hi cor. Um. Like I hated who I was and then I like learned in therapy. It's like, oh, because I'm living in that victim mindset. And then like very recently and many, many times in between. So that was, you know, eight-ish years ago, eight, nine years ago, and then many times in between, but very. Recently I, you, I told you like, I hate where, who I am right now. Like in a, in a way where it's like, okay, next level is right there and I need to step out of this, this zone of comfort. Um, so I feel like that's where, um, the, the being around people that are very positively uplifting. Solution and growth focused.'cause like, now that you and I have been in like a few different communities, I feel like we're really intentional about who we, who we decide to spend our time with. Where before, um, I would, you know, when I was trying to like, discover like who I wanted to be around and who I wanted to. Positively influence. There's a few communities that I would literally never go back to. Not that they were, um, you know, they're doing good things, but they're not growth and solution focused. They're still, and they think they are, and you know, they're at that level, they're at that consciousness. And I could, I could return if I have ample amount of like, love to pour into these people, but like the majority of them are really focused on. Everybody needs to be like us versus the people we're around now who's like, everyone needs to grow in their unique, awesome gift versus everyone needs to be like us. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. And that's where I can see that now. But when I was with, you know, this group of people that I believe that then when I was with these people, everyone needs to be like us, you know? Live the life that we live. It's the best way. Where now it's like. Oh, that's impressing my views and beliefs on other people versus supporting them to feel more connected and empowered in who they are in their life, in their family, in their job, in their mission, in the world. If they even have the vision to connect to that. Not'cause I never did at one point, and now we do. So it's like our community and our organization. Is so focused on that, which really, I think is so much more like worldly growth focused versus a small minded, you know, view. Not to say anything, any of that's bad or wrong. It's just like we're at that level of like, oh man, we can, we're, we can tap into this next level because we're surrounded by these people who are so focused on the bigger picture. Yeah, and I think those. Certain support groups are great. Like you said, there's nothing wrong with it, but there's a next level, so that might supply people with what they need. Yeah. But as long as you know that there's always a next level. Yeah, there's always people that are, I. Where you wanna be. Yeah. And that's where you wanna plug in, you know? Yeah. Like KT always says, follow the people that have been where you have been and where you wanna be. Yes. And I think we too often compare and judge ourselves to other people, and we forget that people have been where we are because we only look at the success. We only look at, um, where they are now. Mm-hmm. And it's, people forget all the failures, all the things that they have done trying to get to the point. Yeah. I was listening to a training this morning from our organization, um, where the difference between conviction and condemnation, which honestly I didn't know what condemnation meant. I had to look it up, but, um, well, please share'cause I don't, but it's basically where you live in the, the shame spiral where that is, those just, you know, the programming of, of no belief in yourself and no belief that you could be, um, you know. More, whatever that looks like for you. And then conviction is like, I don't know how, but I do believe that it's possible. So I lived in that condemnation, spiral, shame spiral. Like, I'm not good enough. I'm not like cool enough, I'm not like outgoing enough or connecting enough. Um, for five, you know, four or five years. But I did what you said. I like what you just said that you, you, you're doing more of. I stayed plugged in. I stayed plugged into the people who again, do what you just said. They, um, they were where I was or where I felt I was and they also. Failed in ways that I had been failing or continue, well continue to fail'cause failing is actually success. Um, and then also display where I now believe that it's possible for me to be there. Like I wanted it and wanted it and wanted it. And it's like, okay, like now I have this next level belief, faith that. If I continue to let go of the results, which is new to me, you know, I, a lot of the time I would connect my results to my, my, um, value. And now I'm believing like, wow, I've been, God made me who I am in the ways that I am and the ways that I was supposed to be stuck and be small minded and be. Going through the hard things to build my character, to grow to who I am now, and know that it's, it's gonna continue because I'm staying consistent. Being around these people that show me what's possible, I'm consistently having like conversations outside of my comfort zone letting go of, I hope they accept me and receive me, and instead like I get to like help people. Feel what I, what I feel now, which I know is only gonna get better, which is I sucked. Now I don't, and I'm, and I'm like, and I'm doing good things in the world. Like that's what I get to give people. Mm-hmm. That basic, that basic, uh, concept of I suck. I don't wanna live, I'm worthless to, I do have value. I am helping people because of. Staying consistent, staying plugged in and, and staying, um, driven on a mission. Like I feel like having drive and having focus of like where your, like where your future could be again, like along the path of growth. We don't know the end result, but if we continue to grow, we're not being gobbled up by the digital demons and. Um, evil money makers out there. Yeah. I don't ever wanna resort back to who I was before any self-growth or self-development.'cause it was like crippling. Crippling. Yeah. And of course I still get doses of it. Oh yeah. You know what I mean? But it's like you've gotta think of how far you've come. And I often look back at situations in my life. Where I didn't have belief, where I borrowed belief and I borrowed Joel's belief, I borrowed my mother's belief, my sister's belief. That told me I could do the bar on my own because I had zero belief. But I had a few core people in my life and of course some like people from the bar. But that gave me enough belief of, of borrowing it from other people where I'm like, if people really believe I can do this, then I must be able to do it. And then I just stepped into like my future self. All of a sudden I was, I had belief in myself. Mm-hmm. And we forget that we come into this world failing. We don't know how to fucking walk. No. And how many times do we get up? I was just listening to Mel Robbins speak in that believe, affirmations. It's just like, you know, all different mentors speaking. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But she talks like. She's mentioning how many times we fail trying to walk, but we just keep getting up and trying again. Like this is how we start off our life failing, but we keep and we forget that. Yeah, we forget that as an adult. Like, oh my God, I did not know how to walk. But I kept trying. I kept doing it and we just like lose all these like things and beliefs that we've had as like a little child and it's just we get programmed and we forget and it's just. A crazy wild ride. Yep. And it's like you could borrow anybody's belief until you start to feel it yourself. And it's possible. I mean, I'm living proof. You're living proof. Yeah. Like. Yeah, it just takes, it takes time and, and that, I mean, it's all connected, like what we're talking about.'cause that's why we plug into the community and the training. And it's like mindset training. It's business training, it's life mission training, and. I feel like before we knew that this was possible for us, what did we plug into? Like I was a Netflix aholic. Like Netflix binge aholic. Like I just watched all that junk. I mean, yeah, I still watch tv, but I don't sit for hours. And then the end of it just feel like, man. Like, I just watched six hours of breaking bad and I'm still not done with it. Like, I, I better stay up for another four hours and finish what I can. Like, oh my gosh. I just think about, man, the time that I spent, I. Trying to like consume stuff to make me feel like I don't know that I was learning something. I'm not really sure. Well, what I've learned is it's our way of escaping our reality. Yeah. And plugging into other realities. Yeah. Yeah. And I think, like I used to be obsessed with watching Real World. I. And that was like my dream to be on real world, thank goodness, because that would be out there for, for the world to see forever. But yeah, and I think that's the biggest problem with like reality shows. It's especially, you have all the real housewives, and I'm not knocking anybody, some people's just pure entertainment people aren't escaping their reality, but majority of people, when you watch things, you're escaping your reality. Yeah. And I think like, um, reality TV does that. Yeah. Especially when you've got. Unrealistic expectations and lifestyles, you know? And because you're plugging into that rather than plugging into yourself. Yeah. It's like you're just emptying your currency of self-belief just and time. Mm-hmm. And it's like we all want more time, so why don't we actually stop over consuming and start creating so that we actually can create the time. To do the things that we care about the most. Yeah. Which, I mean, as humans, it's, it's the laws of nature. Learning, growing and contributing, connecting with the people that we love. And if you're at a point where I used to be where it's like, I didn't feel that the people I loved even wanted me around, which is such a sad thought, but, uh, that's how I used to think. And I know other people do too. Um, all the more reason to unplug from the consuming and plug into creating and be around people that are going to help you rewrite the sad, depressing thoughts. Not to say that sadness and depression doesn't happen to us'cause it does. And then we have each other, which is like so great. I know. It's just, ugh. Yeah. It's like I view everything very differently now. Court like. Especially with TV and social media, and I definitely catch myself in a scroll. Like certain things, sometimes me and Joel have to like check each other, but, um, I understand now that everything is meant to distract us. And so it's like, do you wanna give your power away too? You know? And of course I still watch TV and I still go on social media, of course. I mean, I post a lot, but it's really, how much of that time and power do you wanna give away? I. Yeah. Um, I have a, a client, you know, she just finished her first 30 days to healthy living and, um, we were talking about, oh, I sent her a pod, A pod, the podcast episode. Um. Carly Pension. She had like, um, a cool guest on, which really talked about like, everything that we're talking about now, and I wanted, I sent it to her, so it was like, I don't know, an hour and 10 minutes. And so my client, she's like, you know, I started listening, but like, they didn't get to the point right away. So it's like, it was really hard for me to stay, you know, listening to it. And I'm like, are, I'm like, okay, so what do you normally listen to? And she's like, well, I'm on TikTok. Like, I, you know, I watch the TikTok. Videos, clips, whatever. What do you even call'em? TikTok? Shorts. Shorts? I don't know. Okay. Yeah. I don't even, so I'm like, okay. I'm like, do you want T TikTok every day? She's like, oh yeah. And I'm like, about how much time would you say that you spend on TikTok? She's like, I don't know, like an hour. I'm like, okay. Every day you spend an hour on TikTok. She's like, yeah, about. I'm like, okay, and when do you do that? And she's like, um, at night. And I'm like, like in bed? Or before you get in bed? She's like, before I get in bed, I'm like, okay. I'm like, are all the lights off? She's like, yeah, lights are all off. Just scrolling in the dark. You know, like how many people are like listening to this and like, oh, yep. Check, check, check, check. That's what I do. Oh, I'm, I'm checking. Okay. So, um, not every night. That was the way I used to live. I don't anymore, but so. Like what you and I have learned a ton about from all these very cutting edge healthcare pros that are in the organization that we're in is that literally sabotages your hormones. Mm-hmm. Your circadian rhythm, your wake sleep, wake cycle, like all the things well this client is working on getting on, being pre-diabetic. Um, losing weight, releasing inflammation, and getting fertile. Like those are her main three main things. Okay. That is driven by our sleep wake cycle, our hormones, and like following the laws of like her body. So I'm like trying to help her connect these dots that she never knew about before. Just like you didn't, I didn't know about how these digital demons can totally. Strip us of our power and our health and our mind. Mm-hmm. And so I basically was telling her, I'm like, look, I mean, from all that I've learned from my own experience and hearing it from all these healthcare pros, like that whole dopamine fix that we get, just flipping those little short videos that is. Totally decreasing all of our other hormones that help us like think better, sleep better, feel better. Yeah. Um, eat better. Choi, make, make better choices. Have more fertility. Like all of the pro, all of the systems in our body that are supposed to run together are literally disconnected from blue lights being on blue light stuff after the sun goes down. Um, hitting all those dopamine like video shorts because it quote unquote feels good or you, you know, whatever, whatever it is. And she's just like, wow, I never knew any of this or thought about it. I'm like, dude, me either. Like, I get it, but like I get to share this with you so that you can make better choices for yourself. Release some inflammation and weight, get fertile and feel more empowered, really. So her new goal is 15 minutes. Um, making sure that she is on TikTok, setting a timer. Is it gonna happen like this? No. But then she has me to help her, like just set those, set that standard for herself, and then eventually if she wants, she can let go of that altogether, like I have. Mm-hmm. I don't, I'm not a scroller. I, I just, it doesn't happen. And, and I'm really grateful. I, yeah, it might at some point when I have more like time, but like, well, I discovered, I forgot who was explaining the science on it, but scrolling, especially TikTok, um, the dopamine is more addictive than cocaine. TikTok is like the worst with it. And for me, my algorithm is all stuff that obviously everybody's algorithm is different. Yeah, yeah. So it's like stuff you're interested in. Yeah. So it's feeding the interest that you're really into. Okay. So where's TikTok? Like created like, was it in China? Singapore. Singapore. I think. Singapore. Okay. So. I don't know if this is true, but it's an interesting thought. Wherever it was created, the country that it was created has a time restriction and time to watch law. Like literally, but it's unlimited for us in America. Of course, of course, of And in America, what is our biggest commodity? It's social. Um, marketing. That's our biggest commodity. That's what we are known for as far as like our production. Our creation. Yeah. Like we don't, we don't produce or create anything compared to other countries that are producing in, in creating. I mean what's on made in what made in China, like yeah. Made in Indonesia. And I think that's the goal made in Taiwan. We're not gonna get political because we're spiritual and, yeah. But yeah, it's, it's so true. It's like just crazy. It's all I could say, it's just, it's so fucking mind boggling when you really just pick apart the pieces of control and. I wouldn't say control, but it's, you know, distractions. Well, I think it is control. Well, yeah, yeah, of course. A control is the agenda. Yes. But yeah, it's just how easily we're adapted. Like, we're just like, oh, okay. Yeah. But obviously it's our parents, their parents. Mm-hmm. And then obviously generations up, which we're living from all those programs and, but yeah, it's, and what a, what an amazing time. To create a new generational habit. Belief shift. Yeah. Like really, we're so lucky to be, to be at the time of life that we are now in the organization that we're in. That's just creating massive awakening. In our power of our health and power of our mind, and the power of business, the power of connection, the power of creating energy and exchanging it. Because, I mean, none of it's ours. Like really, like we come here to experience it and then we leave. We're not taking anything with us other than what we've left behind, and that is the impact. On other people. Yeah. Nothing else matters. The legacy that we leave, we don't even know what that's gonna be. So like for people, I think I said this on one the previous episodes, like for people to like, you know, think that they are creating a legacy and like have a mission of what the legacy is that they're gonna leave, it's like you have no idea what that's gonna be. Like. The people you leave are the ones that are actually gonna say what your legacy is or was. Mm-hmm. Which is fascinating. Yeah. I think once I really started to think about that was really when I wanted to be better and do better. Like I was in my kitchen yesterday. I was, I think I was, forgot what I was doing in here, but I was like just randomly thinking and I was like, I'm like, I've never been a dreamer. And I was like thinking back to my childhood. I was like, I never really wanted, never knew exactly what I wanted to be. I kind of just, obviously I was a competitive figure skater, and so when I was little, that was my dream. I'm gonna be an Olympian figure skater. And then it, I remember my mom being really sick with Crohn's when I was little, and so I was her caretaker. Um, and so I thoroughly enjoy taking care of and helping people. It's something that I noticed since I was little. It's just like, it just makes me thrive. And some people are just made like that. You know what I mean? Like you, yeah. And then I was like, okay. And then obviously life goes on and then my parents bought the bar and then I stopped applying myself instantly. Like once I knew, oh, okay, like this is gonna be a family business. And, um. I wouldn't say instantly, but as time evolved and I got a little bit older and I was like, oh, eventually I'm gonna like work the bar and take over. And I just never continued dreaming. I was like, okay, I'm living my life by the design that has been created. And I never really was like, oh, I can create my own life. I could be the, the designer of my life. And I feel like that's why this is so. It just all comes together.'cause now I'm in a position in my life where, okay, yes, I, I have the bar and that is something that I took over. It wasn't my dream, it wasn't whatever, but it my dream to fulfill, I guess. And it's a dream in a way, but not my, my end goal. Well, and why stop there kind of thing. Well, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And I always just kind of limited myself to that. Yeah. Like, okay, I did it. And then I'm like, okay, well this is it. And I'm like, this is just, I don't wanna just identify myself as this. And so this is why this is so important to me. It's'cause it kind of takes me back to when I was younger, taking care of my mom and I'm like, this is something that like, I can help other people flourish and just help, help them grow. And it's just, it's kind of like come full circle, you know? Yeah. Yes. I do know. And I think that's what, um. That's why being in the business and organization we're in, it's designed to help us connect all those dots. Mm-hmm. To really take the lid off of our growth and off other people's growth and let this be the vehicle to endless mm-hmm. Growth, really the possibility. Of just seeing, okay, what's no, what's next? What's next as far as possibility and next level living, next level growth and next level choices and next level contribution and next level like transformation of other people. Like what we do and what we're in is it's, which I never got it'cause I just didn't have the awareness and the consciousness. It's servant heart leadership like. We are, we have hearts of service and plenty of the negative thoughts that I've had before is like, you know, I, I, I don't even know how to do that. I don't even know how to serve myself, let alone other people. So how can I do this? And I'm like just the questioning myself out of what's possible throughout the years, over and over. Um, and that's where I feel like people think. That it's just, you know, start here and just rise slowly. No, like, as I've said so many times that I, life is not linear. You're gonna ra rise a little bit and then fall fucking hard, and then rise a little bit more, and then like do some twirly flips up in the air and land on your head and like, it's just not gonna be from A to B. Mm-hmm. Or A to Z. It's gonna be from heaven to hell to heaven to hell in limbo land. But each time you get from point A to point B, when you know from point A to whatever, you're gonna have obstacles, but your self growth and your development is gonna help you with that impact moment. Mm-hmm. Like for you to get through it. Yeah. Like we, me and you have had so many impact moments and so many just. Everything comes into play like Les Brown says, you shouldn't work harder at your job than you do on yourself. And I feel like that's just where so many people put more energy into. It's just like you spend eight hours at a job or how many hours and you're pouring all your energy into serving other people. How many hours in a day are you serving yourself? We've become okay with that. Yeah. No, I'm not okay with that. That's so profound and so real and simple. I love that. He was amazing thought, proud. Yes. Oh my gosh. Probably. Yeah. So, yeah, that, that really clarifies the, um, the way that we're,'cause it's a blueprint. Whenever, whenever you have a job, you, you're, for the most part, let's, you know, be real. There's all kinds of jobs out there. Some are more. Direct than others as far as what your job actually is. But for me it was, there was a blueprint for my dental hygiene job that I've had for 15 years. It's a blueprint, you follow it. What we do in our network marketing business, there's a blueprint, but it's so dynamic. It's not linear. Like in my nine to five job, it's very linear. Every hour you see a patient, you write your notes, you clean their teeth, you educate them on oral health, you diagnose gum disease, you take x-rays, you write your chart notes next, like it's really what it is. It's not that hard. It's like groundhogs day every day. Yeah. Um, and when, but for you, you get to network because you've done the self development. You take full advantage of your job. Yeah. I'm, I mean, I get to plant seeds all day on people transforming their life, their health, their mindset, whatever it is. Giving them all different kinds of resources that we've learned along the years. Mm-hmm. I could just send out all kinds of cool things and like. Man, like that one interaction could completely shift the trajectory of their life. Mm-hmm. And I have no idea what it is. Like, no idea. If I don't stay in connection with them, I have no idea what that's done. It's not for me to know. That's the whole, like, letting go of results, letting go of like what comes out of the connection that I make. And, and yeah. What a, it's, it's awesome because, because I chose to say yes to this. Network marketing opportunity. I not only get to help people in the business that we do, but also in any aspect of my life. And same with you in every aspect of your life. And, and, and, and most importantly, with the people that we love, that we care the most about, that we see their potential and we can actually help them.'cause we see them more often, like continuously if they want. Take a hold of our hand and walk with us in a way that's like, we don't know any more than they do. We've just allowed ourselves to experience a little bit more. Um, and if what we have gone through can help them, great. If not, that's cool too.'cause they're still walking together, still moving, growing together. Yeah. And I think you're a great example of building this business on the side of doing your job, but you implement. Your networking into your job, which I think it's just amazing. Well, it took me time. Well, yeah, yeah. Um, but yes. Yeah. Some people just clock in, clock out, and I feel like you use full, you take full advantage of, of your time when you clock in and it's really inspiring. Thanks. Yeah. And like you said, it, it took time. Yes. Yeah. It's, and, and too, like not every day I feel like. Let's be real. I work two days a week, which is lovely. It's amazing. Um, and not every day when I walk into the office, am I in the mood to speak life into people, but that's just a reminder that I might not be in the mood to speak life into myself. So it's like, like, doesn't it just come up though, then it, yeah. Naturally. Like it's in my DNA now, or it's like, oh, this person said something. I'm like, well. Like I feel compelled. Mm-hmm. It is within me to share my experience and what they're talking about, so then I know that God's putting that person on my path for me to share some life with them. God is like, you need your teeth clean. I'm making sure that you're in Courtney Anderson's little chair tomorrow. Yeah. Because you need some love spoken into your life. And then that's what I feel like when I have experiences. When I go somewhere and somebody gets to speak life into me, it's like, yeah, just the giving and the receiving of this energy that we all breathe in and breathe out, but take for granted. Mm-hmm. You take so much for granted so much. Yeah. It's just simple things in life really. That's why I wanna just, I know my nieces think it's cool that I own the bar that like Mimi and Papa owned, but I wanna really let them know what they're capable of and it's so much more than, than the bar, you know what I mean? Because I wanna just, Mason lives at home with me. He sees his dad as an entrepreneur and like. Me with the bar and I just, obviously he's seen me evolve with, within our company, but there's certain people in my life I just really want to just show this is what's possible for you. And it's hard. I mean it's, yeah.'cause we have to walk the path. Mm-hmm. First. Yeah. In many ways. Yeah. And it's so much, it's so much easier. We, you and I were just talking about this, it's easier to like. Coach the new people, like this is how it's done instead of continuing the walk. And, and, but I, I know you and I are like almost addicted in the best way to continue the walk. Yeah. And I'm gonna say reading Mel Robbins book, let them, I'm, I'm on chapter 13 now, but even just getting into chapter one, I already was applying that in my life. I saw that in you. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah, and I'll just give, like I shared on social media, but I'll share a quick example. So the Let Them theory is let them, because us adults, we cannot control other adults. We absolutely cannot. And we try to micromanage so much in our life that it exerts our energy. Of it. And so by letting them, it lets me like, let them, it will let me have peace in my life. And so as we know, like we've talked about before, emotions take 60 to 90 seconds to run through us. And um, I was a household micromanager when it came to products and ingredients and food cleaning products in our house to the point where it was like Joel and made some be absolutely afraid to come in the house with groceries, my blood would start to boil. Why would you get that? Why would you get that? And then it would create a whole argument like, well, who, why the fuck are you telling me what I can eat? And then I would talk about Mason, he's a kid. And finally like, after just reading a little bit of the book, I'm like, I can only control what I do and do I want this to be an issue in my relationship? No.'cause I'm not. I don't wanna control him. Mm-hmm. And I want him to make his own decisions. I don't wanna control Mason in that sense. So I'm like, I remember one day they came home just a couple weeks ago with groceries. And I remember I saw a couple things and I was in my head, I'm like, really? And I'm like, you know what, Megan let them mm-hmm. Like, let them. And I was like a little obviously upset for a little bit for maybe about a minute. And then I was just like, you know what? I want peace. This isn't gonna do me any good. And so that's just really a small example. Obviously I'm applying this into much bigger things in my life, but Yeah, it's so true. And this is something that I explained to the girls at at, at work, at the bar.'cause we had a meeting and we talked about some people and like, um. Some customers could be hard to handle, and some people are very needy. Some people are very ego driven. Some people expect certain kind of service, and I'm like, you know, I go, everybody I go, we have to remember everybody is the way they are because of their upbringing and whatever. And I'm like, I know this is just a bar. But it really, it's understanding people. Yeah. At the end of the day, it's a customer based service, and I learned in Mel Robbins book that I think it's like 90 or 80, I forgot the percentage, but. Most adults are, the emotion are an emotional, um, 8-year-old. And so I was trying to explain to everybody. I'm like, listen, this person is probably this way. You just kinda look at everybody as a third grader. And that's what Mel Robin says. She goes, when I start to deal with somebody, and she goes, I just picture them as a third grader, like emotionally an 8-year-old. And so I try to explain that to everybody and I'm like, we can't change how our customers are gonna be. No. You know what I mean? So some people you just have to deal with. And I go, I just look at everybody as a third grader now. Like, and it kind of gives you compassion, like to an egotistical person who sits at the bar and demands whatever. And I'm like, if something in your life happened that makes you feel superior, and I just look at you as like a little third grader. Well, yeah. I think of my three and a half year old niece who's like, I want this now. And I mean, and like that's what these people are saying and doing. It's like. Their emotional understanding of the world. Right. No one helps them. Yeah. Evolve. No one helps them grow their emotional intelligence. Yeah. Somebody will walk into the bar and if that, what makes them feel powerful and feel good to have a stronger drink or to have your drink served before that person. You know what I mean? And that's just, it is what it is. Mm-hmm. And I told everybody, like I told everybody, I'm like, you guys can't give your emotions away to these people because we are only. Responsible for how we respond in our emotions. Mm-hmm I'm like, you guys cannot give your power away to customers. It's just, I know it's easy to, I go, if you start to get upset, just go into the office for five minutes.'cause it's just dealing with all different walks of life. And I'm like, people come here to get away from stuff and we just have to deal with all different walks of life, you know? And yeah. So yeah. Now I just, sometimes I just look everybody as like a child. It's so funny. But it really does help. Like, yes. Yeah, even Joel sometimes the way that he gets, and I'm like, oh, he's just like a little third grader, you know? Yeah. Because I notice my emotions take me right back to how I was when I was a kid, you know? And obviously I'm working on my anger and how to release it properly, which my doctor actually told me that the amount of adrenaline that goes through my body when I get angry, she goes, it's actually really good, and I just have to learn how to rechannel it. Hmm. So, yeah. Awesome. Mm-hmm. I'm like, all right, well that's empowering. Yeah. She's like, it's not bad with what you have. She goes, you just have to rechannel it. I'm like, oh, okay. Yeah. So that's my goal and mission. Awesome. Yeah. I think like even that, like the perspective, sharing our story, sharing our experience, sharing our perspective, it's gonna, it's gonna help somebody out there. Yeah. And that's our goal. Yeah. Life is not meant to struggle. We've No, we, we get addicted to it. Yeah. Like I used to be addicted to it because I'd be addicted to it.'cause then when something good would happen, I'd be, it'd be like a high Yeah. And it's like, why am I waiting for these moments of high when I can live that every fucking day of my life? Yeah. Like I'd rather be high every day and then have my few moments of down moments. I've now learned how to pull myself out. So it's almost kind of like the polar opposite. Yes. You know? Yes. It's very freeing. Well, thanks for tuning back in to the Magical Midlife Crisis Podcast Court and Meg tuning out, and we will tune into you in the next episode. If anything really does speak to you, please share it with someone, because that's how Meg and I heard all the things that we're sharing with you. We heard it from someone else. So this is our gift to keep on giving, give, give, give, and give to yourself. Yes. So you can give to others. Receive and give. Give and receive. Yes. Okay. Love you all. Aios If you made it to the end of this episode. That means you either just appreciate our messy, awkward life experiences. Or you're truly up for finding more magic in life. Like we are tune. in weekly for more reality shifts that we explore between us and with many special. Special guests that join. If you feel it, please subscribe. So you don't miss. Your seat on our magical earth school bus, your experience. With this show really means a lot to us. So we want to genuinely welcome you to. To leave an honest review. Your voice matters exactly how it is. You can follow us on social media, check the show notes and we will connect with you next.