The Padded Cell Podcast

Episode 126 - "The BDSM Fantasy"

• The Padded Cell Podcast • Season 1 • Episode 126

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0:00 | 1:14:21

Oh my God!! What a drama! We're back on camera in basic format for now while we master multi cam filming and editing! We had a right mare trying to livestream, so Vicky is fuming for about 7 minutes...she gets over herself though! lol 
It's great to be back on camera and thank you all for your patience! We're learning fast and we'll get back to multi cam asap! For now, you get to see our faces at least! The camera has a fart about an hour in for a few seconds, so don't switch off! 
We chat about all sorts! A 'Bluebeard', a near miss in space, an historical first and a shock discovery that resulted in an overdose! Also...listen out for Andy having an orgasm. 
Enjoy! 
Vic and Andy xxx

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Recorded and Produced by Vicky at The Padded Cell Studios

Ep 1 - 120 recorded at: 

▶︎ Web - http://www.liverpoolpodcaststudios.com

SPEAKER_00

Are you a deviant? You know, like those of us who binge watch serial killer programs, laugh at the stupid stuff people do, and revel in anything else? Well, you found your people, jumbling nulls, as we crack open the door of the path of cell and release the insanely stupid, the weirdly wonderful, and those who choose to live by size of size for nobles. We develop into the strange, the number carve, the sexy and the outrageous. So if you're a deviant, then you have your place with us in the Path of Cell. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

We can do this, come on.

SPEAKER_00

Hello and welcome to episode one, two, six of the Pather Cell podcast. And today I'm here again with our Andy. Hello. Just looking at me, then you weren't gonna say hello.

SPEAKER_01

Hello.

SPEAKER_00

Remember your long time?

SPEAKER_01

Hello, Patat Cell had.

SPEAKER_00

So if you um if you were with us in the last hour or so, you know that we've been trying to live stream.

SPEAKER_01

God knows we tried. You tried.

SPEAKER_00

It went very badly. Very badly. It was fine at first, and then it wasn't. And there was no sound, there was then it was like Metal Mickey, it was robotics.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I remember that.

SPEAKER_00

Then we switched studios to see if that would work, and nothing worked. So I just do not know why. Because it was okay. Everybody was like, oh yay!

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And then no, yay. I'm really, really sorry. So we are um we're doing our video on one camera today. We're gonna give it a go. Uh and we're obviously gonna be audio as well. And I'll just try live stream another time.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I'm just I'm losing the fuck and will to live with it now. So I need to get Calvin in.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I need to get Calvin to show me like the the technical stuff, so if things go wrong, I know what to do.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it's one thing learning something, but you need to learn it enough so if it goes wrong, you know what you're doing.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And I didn't know what I was doing.

SPEAKER_01

You you look it I mean you I was convinced. Were you?

SPEAKER_00

You were convinced even that it wasn't working. Right, because I need to decompress, I'm gonna let you do a little bit of talk in a minute. But before I do, what was it like hearing your voice in the podcast for the first time?

SPEAKER_01

Weird.

SPEAKER_00

Was it?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Why?

SPEAKER_01

I don't know. I think I think everyone has their things, don't they? Where it's like um hearing your own voice back's weird, isn't it? I mean, you know, you know, we had the conversation before, didn't we where I was saying to you, like, I've I've started like getting, you know, I I've always been, you know me, I've always been like, I know, I like I like a phone call and all that, do you know what I mean? But I've started to voice note a bit more now, but welcome to the 21st. Yeah, well to the 21st century and that, yeah. Um but I know like I'm not the only one, because my good lady wife, I know, and like we we, you know, obviously we have like our group, don't we? And so when we listen to you and that and then she comes and she's like, Oh no, god, I don't need to listen to that, do you know what I mean? So even she doesn't like hearing a voice back. You just sound weird, don't you?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I'm used to it now, though, I suppose. I mean, I've I'm just a voice no queen. A voice knows all the time. A voice knows on the go, I can multitask its boss. I mean, I can't wait to sound on a fuck on live stream, but you know, uh, I can multitask. It's so much easier when you can voice know you can be doing other things at the same time.

SPEAKER_01

I I just call it when whenever I listen to mine back, I just like the amount of times I say like it's just ridiculous.

SPEAKER_00

And we do take the piss out of you a little bit as well, don't we? I was it's like uh you know, you know what I mean, you know what I mean, like but it's all good, we're here for it. Yeah, and apparently uh your number one fan wound you up recently.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, the that live like live laugh love, yeah. Well go on, just why sure so she said something about like she got like this tattoos on or something, and it was like Indonesian or something. Yeah, and um she said it was it said live laugh love, and I was like, you're fucking joking, aren't you?

SPEAKER_00

You can get off people, you know. I think she said she might manage to maintain it for 20 minutes before she caved and told you it wasn't live, laugh, love. I would have gone two days, easily got two days out of that to wind you up. Easily, it's just oh and um also apparently I know at least one person, Sarah P, well done love, who uh managed to collar you on reception and say something.

SPEAKER_01

With you the fucking thing I ate, yeah. My bad. It's just not on. You just need you just you just need to stop it.

SPEAKER_00

Not American or a TNA, you but you you've mentioned it on the pod now, and people love to wind us up. Yeah, so you're just gonna get it. And when you get more well known, people just come up to you and Tesco and go, my bad. Or live, laugh, love. You're gonna get it. I get yes, mistress. So anyway, you've got a little short story to tell us about a recent visit.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, friggin' hell, yeah. Um, yeah, so we've discussed this before, do you mean I'm not gonna mention the name of the place.

SPEAKER_00

Oh me, oh my.

SPEAKER_01

You said that, not me.

SPEAKER_00

Um it's a place in Liverpool, uh, by the Strand, opposite the Liver Buildings. It does afternoon tea. It's called Oh Me Oh My. And you know, I mean the name in itself has got big potential. Yeah, it's got amazing feedback online, amazing feedback.

SPEAKER_01

It has, and you know what, right? It like that's that's the frustrating thing. So, anyway, I'll give it to for for context, right? So it was a good lazy wife's uh birthday at the weekend, and um I thought, you know what? Let's book like a nice little afternoon sea type thing, like you know, nice, nice little experience before you know we go on and do whatever else with tonight, you know. And I've heard of people who've been saying it's it's saying it's good, and that's what I thought. So, you know what, I'll I'll book it. So I booked it for R3 because in the afternoon they had like this Mother's Day disco thing going on, and I just thought that's it and worse. A Mother's Day disco that just sounds like fucking carnage, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00

So that's like my bad to me. Mother's Day disco.

SPEAKER_01

So I I booked it for R3 after it had finished, and um it was just it was just one of the most surreal experiences in my life to the point where I've actually left a Google review and left a review on TripAdvisor as well.

SPEAKER_00

Your review was excellently worked.

SPEAKER_01

Could still read it out, you can do if you want.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, it's probably easier to read it out than explain.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it probably will be so I don't leave it, so I don't leave anything out.

SPEAKER_00

And say you know five million times. Yeah. You didn't do it loads on the other podcast, and uh you didn't say it loads on the other podcast, you're like, you know, you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_01

I know well I was I was trying to like because I know you've got an international audience that there's an international audience and that I was trying to sort of scale back.

SPEAKER_00

Be more palatable for the international deviants out there.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so this this is this is a bit of an epic this, but it's warranted. So um so when you when you leave a review on TripAdvisor, it it asks you for to give it a title, and now that you've we've actually said the name of the place I've called it, oh me, oh my god. With an exclamation mark. So in it, I've so just gonna read it out. So I'm 50 years of age and I've lived an eventful life, seen some things and had some experiences. Moving into my top 10 things, top 10 things I'll never forget was afternoon tier. Oh me, oh my. So booked online for the wet for my wife's birthday, we're very busy people and thought this would be a nice and relaxed way to spend an afternoon. I'd done my homework and checked reviews online and heard positive things off people I know who had been. So I booked us in for 3:30 pm, 3:30 pm after the Mother's Day disco's ended, so you know, a bit be a bit more chills, I thought. So I'll start from the top, bear with me, reader, there's quite a bit to digest here. So greeted at the dash by a cheery fella and shown to our table, not a problem. Could tell her it'd been busy beforehand as the staff were working extremely hard, cleaning, clearing, serving, resetting tables, etc. We waited quite a while to be served. Eventually, a young lady came over and greeted us with the words, Hi, do you like tea? Okay. The strangest thing that happened is the poor girl just completely shut down like a clapped-out laptop. It was actually the most awkward interaction I can remember having with someone, it really was honestly. We asked if we could like and almost apologetically asked if we could have coffee, and she then scarfed us away with the order. So, wife and I looked at each other bemused, and and I just had this overwhelming feeling of dread engulfed me as I knew, just knew that disaster was ahead. I wasn't wrong. Cheery fella number two came to our table and asked, Have you had the tea talk? Again, bemused. He then explained the different teas that were on offer and allowed us to smell them. To be fair, he smelled great and he was very informative. Our coffees arrived and we ordered the tea. Cheery fella number two explained, Coffee and teas are unlimited while you're having afternoon tea. Brilliant, I thought. Eventually, our afternoon tea arrived. We were given a very rough description of what was being served, including the unforgettable description of some cross dee thing. Uh the food wasn't the best, I'm afraid, gang. Really wasn't, and much of it didn't taste fresh. The scon was pretty good though, to be fair. And it was, it was a decent scon. Scon was pretty good though, to be fair. If I hadn't saved myself all day for eating, I genuinely would have sent it back. It just wasn't great. Let's get wine. I thought that's a good idea. Everything is better with wine, isn't it? We ordered a bottle of Pinot Grigio at over£30 for the bottle. This was brought speedily to us, by the way. Still no sign of the tease we ordered. And yet another term for the worst. Yes, you guessed it. The wine was warm, plonked unceremoniously in a nice bucket with about 10 ice cubes, and it literally was like 10 ice cubes, it didn't even cover the bottom of the bottle. At this point, I'm actually apologising to my wife for the ordealer and putting us through. It's fine, it's okay, she says. Now, in my experience, a lady saying it's fine, tends to mean it's anything, but fine. But I tried to remain confident that none of this was my doing, and divorce and finding a new home wasn't on the cards. Yeah. We raced through our warm wine fairly quickly, as both of us had just lost the will to live by now and just wanted this over with. In case you're still reading and wondering, still no tea or an offer of anything else. I said to my wife, I'm going to pay the bill and voice my displeasure. Was everything was everything okay? I was asked. No, not really, mate. Not really. I then reeled off everything I've described above. He listened and apologised and actually reduced the price of the bill, removing one of the afternoon teas. He seemed pretty sincere, but would he take these concerns up the chain of commands? Who knows? And to be fair, to be fair, all the staff were really busy. We left Vowan, never to return, and then actually had a really good rest of the day, which I'm still paying for now. Uh waking up this morning, but it was actually yesterday morning. My first thought wasn't the usual, do you know what? I'll pop the loo and put the kettle on. No, I actually lay there and was mentally transported back to this experience and just thinking, was it really that bad? Yes, it was. If this was my business, I would be horrified by the standards we experienced, which is why I felt the need to write this review. I hope you take it on board. If you made it this far reading this, thanks for bearing with me. I've found this actually quite cathartic and feel I'm ready to move on with my life now. And you can see that on Google Reviews and Trip Avis.

SPEAKER_00

So you you got um some money off your bill, didn't you?

SPEAKER_01

Knocked one of the afternoon teas off.

SPEAKER_00

And the guy was very apologetic. Was he very apologetic?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I mean he was you know, I mean, it it wasn't like just sort of going oh whatever, you know what I mean? But they would shock her, they were shocker, but it was just it was grim. Yeah. And I've had no reply back to the Google advisor. Not yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Are you gonna email them directly? I would.

SPEAKER_01

I might do, you know, I feel strongly about it.

SPEAKER_00

I would.

SPEAKER_01

I feel strongly about it.

SPEAKER_00

I would normally email them first and give them the opportunity to comment. And if I don't get a satisfactory comment, then I go fucking nuts on Google.

SPEAKER_01

I mean I can't have done that though, haven't I?

SPEAKER_00

You'd have, you'd have, but you know, you could have dealt with it better on the day and they didn't. So oh me, oh my, uh, Liverpool. Oh me oh my don't. I love a good afternoon take. I tip and it's really, really hard to guess it so wrong. It's hard. It's sandwiches or posh rolls with posh stuff and miniature cakes and evidently tea, which I never got. What was the big thing over the tea?

SPEAKER_01

Did it all like you know, I mean, the fella who came over, he was great, you know what I mean? He was like, you know, this is like a blueberry tea, this is like uh an African mint one, and there was like a mango one and this, that, and the other. And he was like, you know, you'd have this one hoss or you can have this one hoss or cold. It was doesn't it was like it was informative, but we just never thought. I think I ordered like this blueberry one or something, and it was just we didn't get it, and even when they brought the coffee over, Ice, so you got your cup and saucer, you got your cup and saucer. So they took the cups to do the coffee, brought the coffees back, put mine on the saucer, and just put hers on the table. Okay, it was just weird, it was weird. Has it been open long? Oh my own's been going for ages.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, is that the old uh Jurgen's bar? No, it's not far, just down the way from if it was brand new and had loads of new staff, I'd be like, all right, they're just cutting the teeth, aren't they? But uh if they've been going for a while, they should know if they're doing and they should be training the staff properly. So I'm not going there for an afternoon tea.

SPEAKER_01

Don't do it.

SPEAKER_00

Any obvious Elsie's up the road does a nice little um afternoon tea, you know, not so little either, and and cheaper. You get bubbly with it as well.

SPEAKER_01

Do all the bussies wear as well. What? Cheese and egg mayon.

SPEAKER_00

Really? Yeah. You'd expect like brie and grape at least.

SPEAKER_01

It's like 30 odd quid for the privilege.

SPEAKER_00

36, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_01

36 worked around too, didn't I?

SPEAKER_00

So basically you got egg mayonnaise bussies and cheese bussies.

SPEAKER_01

It was awful.

SPEAKER_00

And a crusty iny thing.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And no tea.

SPEAKER_01

No C. And warm wine.

SPEAKER_00

It's a piss poor, that you're sad. And your bill was over a hundred pounds, wasn't it? Before the day.

SPEAKER_01

So they knocked it down, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And they wouldn't have knocked it down if you had me complained.

SPEAKER_01

No.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, I'd be fuming. I'd be fuming! Anyway, we're gonna move on. Sort of been whittering now for about 17 minutes. This is going out, well, should have been going out today live on YouTube, but it's going out to everybody else on Thursday the 19th. So this Thursday. So I've got a bit of editing to do between now and then. And on this day, 19th of March, some interesting things happened. I'm going to tell you about them.

SPEAKER_01

I'm dying to do you.

SPEAKER_00

You're on the edge of your seat, aren't you? I really could do with another custard cream, but I'll guess talking with my teeth. Have you ever heard of Henri Deserie Landru? It's not like it's not like it's not just the No, it's not ringing any bells. He was called the French Bluebeard.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. I didn't know what Bluebeard meant. I have to look it up. I'll come into it. Like a pirate. Well, the original Bluebeard, if you like, uh, it was actually fictional. It was Blackbeard, that was a pirate. And then I think Bluebeard had been taken on by people who might be um malevolent or you know, um a bit murderous, maybe. Somebody who is like a bit of a womanizer, uh, woos the ladies in and then disappears them. Yeah. It comes from apparently um a French novel back in the day in the 17th century. And this guy called Bluebeard, he he did, he he wooed the ladies, um, married them, yeah, and then they disappeared. And then eventually one of his new wives questioned, Well, what the hell happened to the wives? And it all came out, and he was called Bluebeard in this tale. And so now anybody who like woos women in and they're a bit of a bad lad, yeah, they'd call them a bluebeard. So not a black beard, that's a pirate. A bluebeard. Anyway, a little bit of a segue there. So, 1922, 19th of March. Um, just outside Versailles Prison. Didn't know there's a prison in Versailles, I don't know why. There's a palace. There is. There is a palace, yeah. There's a crowd gathering outside to witness uh a spectacle somebody who has been oft on the guillotine. I didn't realise they still had guillotines in 1922 in uh in Paris, but here we are. And the man at the centre of all this was Henri, Deserie Landru. But the press had already named him the Bluebeard of Gambay because he was a serial killer and he preyed on lonely widows um post-First World War. So if you think about post-war, there's loads and loads of guys that have been killed at war, so we've got all these uh widows around. And apparently, um 1.4 million French soldiers have been killed.

unknown

They're not very good at war, are they?

SPEAKER_00

Um, and this left loads and loads of women widowed and struggling financially, because obviously you don't have like you know the benefits and everything that you'd have now and stuff. And this is where Landru saw his opportunity in these widows and beginning around 1914, he placed a lonely heart advert in the paper using a variety of false names, and uh the adverts are quite simple, just presenting them as like a respectable widower so he could relate to them because he'd lost somebody as well, um, and put himself across as um, you know, not like dead good looking and dashing, but you know, I'm a good guy, not too shabby. I'll look after you, love. Yeah, anyway, women replied in the dozens, so we had a choice, basically, and he'd correspond with them and try and build up trust over a period of time. It says here, appearing polite, intelligent, and well spoken, dressing neatly and a distinctive pointed beard. And um he projected the image of like just a quiet gentleman, not too you know, almost human basically. Um and he just the the women absolutely loved him. But once they entered his world, they quickly disappeared. Yeah. He'd persuade them to withdraw the savings, sell the possessions, and transfer the money into the accounts that he controlled, solely controlled. After that, they were taken to this little house in the countryside in Gambay, about 40 kilometres outside Paris. And the knaves would see these women arriving, but never saw them leave. Anyway, police began investigating them in 1919, so what's that, five years? And um the police searched his house, but no bodies were found. Anyway, what they found instead was detailed lists of the women, the names, addresses, financial details, um, and these lists of names matched missing person reports across France. The police also examined his stove and furnace, and inside they did find ashes, um, but they also found teeth and metal objects, things like buttons and corset hooks. Um, and investigators concluded that he'd burned the bodies of the victims after he'd killed them. Uncertain how, because obviously 1919 or whatever, um, they don't know whether he the he strangled them or poisoned them, but he definitely offed them and then cremated them in the burner. Anyway, he was charged with 10 murders and the murder of one of the teenage sons of the women as well, so he must have seen them, maybe. Or just getting in the way, inconvenience. We'll get rid of him as well. Um, and prosecutors described him as a monster for killing basically 11 people, and he said, I'm no more a monster than anybody else. Okay, yeah. Anyway, there's loads and loads of evidence, overwhelming evidence, but he never ever confessed. And on the 25th of February 1922, he was found guilty and then sentenced to death. And like I said before, 19th of March, less than a month later, he was led to the guillotine and head lobbed off, and apparently, in his final moment, the police was you know giving him his last rights and all the rest of it. And the priest asked if he wanted to confess anything, and he replied, Father, that is my little Secret, and then the blade fell, and that was it. So he died without ever admitting what he'd done. Um, and the press had this like fascination uh around him, and they cemented this archetype as a charm and serial killer, of which there's been quite a lot over the years, yeah. And the story inspired um Charlie Chaplin Charlie Chaplin's um comedy, dark, very dark comedy, uh Monsieur Verdu, and it's all loosely based on this guy. Um and obviously it's what more than a century later now, and um the house, the Gambet House, is still one of the most infamous murder locations in France. No way. It's like a ghost hunt.

SPEAKER_01

I've never been well, I've never been on one, but it's it's it's something that I'd like to yeah. I mean, if someone said do you want to go on one, I'd be like Did you not do the one in the club that time?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah, that's a ghost hunt. It's a bit shit, wasn't it, early? It wasn't a proper one. No, no, needs to go to proper ghost hunt. Yeah, that's proper mediums and stuff like that. But on a few, they're alright. Jamie's a big big sceptic, but a few things have happened to him since he's been on the story from the day. Right, we were talking about in our last pod, you were saying about conspiracies and the moon landing. Yeah. Yeah. And you said about, you know, the Tim Foyle at, you know. We were talking about um the advancement of technology and and all that, yeah. On the 19th of March 1965, um, do you know what happened? It was a space thing, and the guy involved was Alexei Leonov.

SPEAKER_01

First person to design space or something.

SPEAKER_00

Not die, nearly died.

SPEAKER_01

First move, first um space war. Very good.

SPEAKER_00

Very good. He plucked it out of somewhere. Um, anyway, the Soviets had launched uh Voskhod 2, and uh there's two cosmonauts on board, uh, Pavel Belyayev. Belyayev. I actually did a pronunciation check on that. Uh he was the commander, and then Alexei Leonov, and he was only young, young pilots, and he knew that he was basically going to make history of this came off. And the mission was simple, but he was gonna be the first person to spacewalk in human history. How would you feel about that?

SPEAKER_01

How would I feel about it? I won't fucking say it.

SPEAKER_00

You wouldn't? I think Jimmy would, you know.

SPEAKER_01

Spacewalk. Yeah. Oh no, I'd be shitting myself.

SPEAKER_00

I think he would love to go into space if he had the opportunity. He'd love it. I do, I want my feet firmly on the game.

SPEAKER_01

I was saying I wouldn't want to go into space, but I don't know what I don't know whether it's like do the walk. Want to get out.

SPEAKER_00

No, I'm not too sure. Anyway, so there was a space race going on, as we know. Um, nobody knew at the time whether it was going to be humanly possible uh to walk outside of a spacecraft. Obviously, the tech was there, the knowledge was there, but in practice, you know, in this crazy atmosphere and unpredictability, could it actually happen?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So this guy was quite brave, really, this Alexi. Um I don't think I would have been that brave because it's not a good death either, is it, you know? Um, because like there's a vacuum, would that cause his body to swell?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Would the suit hold the pressure, enough pressure, the right pressure? Would he lose consciousness? If he did, would he be able to get back in? Nobody knew any of the answers to any of these questions. So if they go into space now, they can predict things that might go wrong based on previous expeditions, I suppose. This is the first guy that he could have exploded in space. Couldn't it's big thing? Anyway, apparently he climbed into an inflatable airlock attached to the spacecraft. And after the hatch opened, um, he slowly floated out into space, connected by a five-metre tether. So it's not that long, really. And uh I just couldn't do this. I don't think I'm even going a bit funny thinking about it. A five-metre tether between you and the spacecraft and the whole of the universe around you. It's like it's endless, isn't it? It's very scary stuff. I don't think I can do it. Anyway, uh, he said um he described the moment as overwhelming. He was alone with the stars for 12 minutes. He was outside. Anyway, it worked perfectly until it didn't. Something went wrong. And the vacuum of space uh caused the spacesuit to inflate more than the engineers had expected. Yeah. And the suit became stiff and blue, and like he couldn't like uh move his arms and legs properly because it was so stiff. Warrying. Very, very, very worrying. And when it was time to return to spacecraft, um Leonov discovered another terrifying problem. He couldn't fit back through the airlock. Because it had inflated that much, he couldn't fit in. So his oxygen supply was also slowly running out. Anyone else out there would panic, and if you panic, obviously you're gonna use all of your oxygen. So he was trying his best not to panic. Anyway, he began manually releasing oxygen from the suit, lowering the internal pressure so the suit would shrink. But that was obviously really risky because if the pressure drops too low, then your blood begins to boil. But you had no choice, it was either do this and take the risk, or it's just gonna explode in the suit anyway. Yeah, yeah. Because it was inflating. Anyway, eventually it began to shrink enough for him to squeeze back into the airlock, but he had to enter head first rather than feet first because it wasn't going down enough. He had to like twist and tear to try and get himself in. Imagine twist and turn like getting a cause on something, or or what must have been going through his mind, I don't know. Anyway, apparently, when he made it back inside, he was literally soaked with sweat. Not just because of the stress, but he was dangerously overheated in the suit, so he wasn't that far off boiling point, really.

SPEAKER_01

He should have pissed himself.

SPEAKER_00

Take a leaf out of your book, yeah. So um, anyway, the crisis the crisis wasn't over, and so he'd got back in anyway, but during re-entry of the actual spacecraft into the atmosphere, yeah, the automatic guidance system failed. So uh Commander Belyayev. I know, yeah. Commander Belyev had to perform manual landing, but the capsule fell far off course, hundreds of miles away from the landing zone in the forests of Siberia.

SPEAKER_01

Fucking hell.

SPEAKER_00

And rescue teams took two days to find them.

unknown

No way.

SPEAKER_00

Two days. I'm getting a private number call. It's never good that when it's a private number. Anyway, I'm not the cosmonauts um spent the night basically in these freezing temperatures and probably all sorts of wildlife around bears and wolves and everything. Um, before helicopters could get them out. It was a couple of days in those temperatures, in those conditions, already stressed to death, probably.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Before we'd be able to lift them out. Anyway, despite all that, the Russians declared the mission a triumph. I mean, it was a triumph. It was. He went to he got to walk outside the spacecraft. He didn't explode. There's a little hiccup on the way in. Okay, they lost the thing on landing, but they landed safely-ish. So a success-ish, I'd say.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

The the um the plan was to walk outside the spacecraft and he did it. Yeah. So yeah, I mean So it was a success.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I don't think he'd be in a rush to do it a second sign, though.

SPEAKER_00

No, definitely not. Definitely not. Um, but apparently, um, just this instance, very quickly, technology advanced really, really quick. Yeah. Um, and then obviously this has meant that people can um work on space stations and repair satellites and all sorts because of that. Because before then, it's like, well, they're putting things out there, but once they were broke, they're just space junk. Now they can actually go out and repair them, so it's made a big massive difference. So I don't think I would want to walk outside a spacecraft. I don't think I'm brave enough.

SPEAKER_01

No, definitely. But it's the thing, isn't it? Because it's like you know what you're saying there, like it's it like that you you know, you've got no way that like before someone's done it for the first time, you've got no way of knowing like if if they're gonna explode or whatnot. And it's like it's like there's been other stuff like that. Remember, remember when we like the large Hadron Collada first got built, and it was all like, oh, you know, they turn this on, like, and it's smashing all these particles together, it could create a black hole, yeah. And we're all gonna be vaporised. Yeah. But we're not, didn't happen. I'm I'm glad it didn't, like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Well, yeah, we would be sitting here now, wouldn't we? No, we wouldn't be sitting. But I mean, you know, the theories often don't meet the actual reality, do they? But I suppose scientists have got to think of all the worst-case scenarios just in case, like, but they didn't, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

You ever see what I remember that and do you know what, right? I looked at this like not all that long ago, and this is really weird, this because I'd no no knowledge you were gonna say about this, but I Googled like you know the way like where you're just like looking at shit on your phone and that. And um it was actually like a a c a c a cosmonaut survival kiss. Oh wow! And they actually had a shotgun in it. For that reason. That if the if the land is like when they when the landers, if they were like off course, they'd be able to like shoot a bird. Shoot something, and each it. Each other. Or each other, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Alright, it's a shotgun in the cosmonaut.

SPEAKER_01

She's either a shotgun or a pistol or something.

SPEAKER_00

But there was something deadly, something weapon.

SPEAKER_01

Fucking good's that gonna be in space. She's an alien.

SPEAKER_00

He's a phaser gun instead. Yeah. Right, from one first to another first. You've heard of the Lumia brothers? Lumier?

SPEAKER_01

Were they the ones with the balloons?

SPEAKER_00

No, that was the Montgomery Mon Montgomery brothers.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I've heard of the Lumier.

SPEAKER_00

Go on, well, I've heard of these Lumier brothers, but so um on this day, 19th of March, uh, they became known because they filmed what is widely considered one of the first true motion pictures ever. Yeah. So let me tell you a little bit. Um I won't go into it too much, but they uh they had a factory, the Lumière factory, it's like a family business. And their first film, I'm gonna try and do it in French, was entitled La Sorti dell'Usine La Sorti dell'Usine Lumier à l'yon. That was so shit. Okay. Okay. La Sorti de La Sorte de La Sine Lumière à l'Eon.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

All the French people out there like the fuck she just says. Okay, that means workers leaving the Lumière factory. I should have just kept it at that, really. I less lasted less than a minute. So, okay, it's a bit of a boring movie, if you like, you know, it's just people leaving the factory. But it's the first time people have got to see a moving picture. Yeah. And although those inventors across uh Europe and America trying to um capture motion, none of them had actually quite got there. Yeah. And it was the Lumia brothers that uh invented the cinema cinemat hang on, cinematograph. I can't speak today, can I? Cinematograph. Um and there was earlier machines, but this one was different because it had three functions in one. It acted as a camera, a film developer, and a projector. Cinematograph. So um later on that same year, 1895, uh, the brothers organised this um public film screening in Paris, and the audience watched a series of short films lasting 50 seconds each, including a train arriving at a station, a baby being fed breakfast, and a gardener being sprayed his own hose. So obviously it sounds a bit laughable now, doesn't it? But at the time, the people must have been amazed, mustn't they? See him moving pictures the first time. And there's a legend around this that when people saw the approaching train, viewers panicked and left from the streets, seats with seats, believing the train was gonna burst out the screen.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, but do you know what? It's it's like I could I could believe it.

SPEAKER_00

Well, they don't they don't know what they don't know, do they? It's the serious thing on the screen, and then in their mind, because they've never seen a moving picture before, it's like it's real shit. It's real. Have you seen it?

SPEAKER_01

No, no, I bet you they filmed it where it was actually.

SPEAKER_00

They were done, wasn't they? They were done, otherwise you wouldn't have got that that effect, would you? So, anyway, um they spent months travelling around the world, filming everyday life around Europe, Asia, America's, etc. Um, and it was really cotton, and obviously, people were loving this, but the brothers themselves are really sceptical. And they famously remarked that cinema is an invention without a future. Oh, how wrong they were! Look at us now, you know, from those early days of the silent movies. You like going to cinema, don't you? I do like the cinema, yeah. I like going to cinema, but we went through a phase of movies being like three hours long or more, and they've cut them down a little bit more now. I think to try and get people back in the cinema because people aren't going to the cinema quite so much. But I can't sit there that long. I just can't sit there for three hours watching a fucking movie. You do little well, they used to have a break, didn't they? Woman coming around with ice cream and stuff or a man.

SPEAKER_01

I know I remember the exciting last last one I went to see where there was a break in it, was Titanic.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And they did have a break in it.

SPEAKER_00

But didn't have a break around to see Titanic.

SPEAKER_01

Didn't he?

SPEAKER_00

No.

SPEAKER_01

But um but going to see like the the Lords of the Rings ones, I mean they're great films, but they fucking go on, so there was no break in that.

SPEAKER_00

I went to see Schindler's List on my own. Just over three hours, three hours, five burns or something. There wasn't a break in that, yeah, but I didn't need it. I was glued the whole time. The thought of going for a piss didn't even enter my head. I was just glued to the seat, it was amazing. To see it on the big screen was just great. And I wasn't with anybody, nobody would come with me. Nobody'd come. So I went to the late at the late show and it was 11 o'clock at night. I think I'd been working. So I went to 11 o'clock and I didn't even know the cinema stayed open. That late's the showcase down at road.

SPEAKER_01

Showcase, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And like early hours of the morning, like that, Jesus Christ. It's like about 10 of us leaving the cinema. It was sort of quiet, very quiet after watching Shinners list. Right, we're gonna move on to a little dangly bit. We're gonna lighten the mood after me stress.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So involved is an egg timer.

SPEAKER_01

And I love watching them, you know.

SPEAKER_00

Do you?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I like watching the big ones. You've seen the big massive egg timers.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Like watching eggs. You can literally see the sand.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I don't know what it is. It's just like it's it's quite soothing. It's almost like fish in a bowl.

SPEAKER_00

It is really, but then we have to play a little cheap plasy one.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Right, so this we have played this on the pod before a very, very, very, very long time ago. You have no you haven't played this before. So I'm gonna shuffle these up. And it's called Guess That Sound. So you need to take some cards. I'll just give you the cards you need to take from the top. I'm gonna give it a minute. And on the cards, there's one, two, and three point noises. Okay. You've got to do the noise, and I've got to guess. And then if I guess right, then you get the points. Okay?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

The glory.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, right, okay.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And then when you're done, I'll have a go.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. So you can choose the one, two, or three point sound, dependent on whether you think you can do it or not. And if I get it, you get the points. Okay. Don't look, yes. I'm gonna wipe my nose. Hang on. Okay, ready?

SPEAKER_01

So just the cards off the top and go for it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and do the noise in the microphone. Ready?

SPEAKER_01

Go on.

SPEAKER_00

Go.

SPEAKER_01

Fucking hell.

SPEAKER_00

If you can't do one, go on to the next car if you haven't got loads.

SPEAKER_01

Donkey?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah!

SPEAKER_01

For one point. How decent though, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_00

I thought it was like your shag noises or something else. I don't think you do sound like that. Do you? Yeah. Okay, I'm so glad we're just friends. Apparently I do sound like that. I'm so glad we're just friends. Not fuckbussies or not. Anyway, you can do another sound.

SPEAKER_01

I've got to kind of zoom another car because it joined me with the other two, eh? No, you're fucking running it.

SPEAKER_00

I can't get past your chuck noise, does it? Sizzle and bacon.

SPEAKER_01

No. Piss. Not for you on the right lines.

SPEAKER_00

What else have got it be if it's not a piss?

SPEAKER_01

If it's rain.

SPEAKER_00

Oh that is nothing like rain.

SPEAKER_01

And I should have done visuals as well, shouldn't I? But I had the cards in my hands.

SPEAKER_00

I don't think you're allowed to do visuals, but I'm gonna do visuals.

SPEAKER_01

You just did. Oh yeah, we're changing the fucking goalpost, oh are we?

SPEAKER_00

Well, you know.

SPEAKER_01

Go on.

SPEAKER_00

You ready?

SPEAKER_01

I'm fucking ready, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

No.

SPEAKER_00

Well I mean it's not rain, but snow ailstones. Since when does snow on the sound? No. Water splashing.

SPEAKER_01

Oh fuck and hell. Go on. Glad on you still got to happen. Okay. Pig.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Someone pulled the zip up. Yes. Oh my god. Ah, that went out.

SPEAKER_00

Fucking hell, that was on fire there. I know, yeah. Well, I've just got at the noises, that's fine. Oh, well, yeah, there's that as well. You're just giving me sex noises. So didrido was two points.

SPEAKER_01

I thought we did redo was boss. Did you do is really good, you know. I fell impressed.

SPEAKER_00

So two points for that one.

SPEAKER_01

So you've played this before.

SPEAKER_00

I haven't done Didrido before. Have you played it once before? On the pod.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

I'll give you another go in a minute. Didri Do two points, pig one point, zipping up a jacket two points. So I got five. And you got one. So have another go because we've got a little bit of time.

SPEAKER_01

Go on.

SPEAKER_00

Go on. Alright, you ready?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Go tick to tick tock. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Car accelerating. Some kind of an alarm.

SPEAKER_01

A siren? Yeah, okay. I'm having that AD siren. Fucking old jonky again. I've done that one before as well.

SPEAKER_00

Have you talked from the Robin? It's supposed to be with your mind with your mouth.

SPEAKER_01

I don't I don't have that one to the fucking carhorn. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

A bird. Ow!

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

Very good. Out of time. Yeah. Right, come on then. Let's see what you got.

SPEAKER_01

Um fucking I'll have through the whole time there, to be honest with you, right? Al was one.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Carmers one, so that's the same.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Four.

SPEAKER_01

Hang on. Aid sidem was one.

SPEAKER_00

Five.

SPEAKER_01

And a second clock was one.

SPEAKER_00

Six? You just beat me? Well done. I mean you did give it a second go though, like you said.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you did. I was just warming up on my face.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Very good.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00

I quite like being a guest of noise.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I'm fucking impressive with DJ Ridd's. I don't think I've done a diggery do sound before.

SPEAKER_01

It was, of course.

SPEAKER_00

Right, so we're gonna move on to a little segment. And I think you might know this story. Okay. But I'm gonna tell it in my own little way, and there's a few little things that you might not know. Okay. So it came from an on this day, but it's such a good story. I've made it into a full segment. So I need to picture this. It's 1943. Spring.

SPEAKER_01

I don't remember it like book one.

SPEAKER_00

I do. So spring 1943. Yeah. Just after so it's like Second World War time. Deep in the chaos of it all. Yeah. And Switzerland, a neutral company country. Scientists in Switzerland were working on pharmaceuticals that might help certain conditions, like circulatory conditions, respiratory disorders. So they, because they're neutral and they weren't really that involved, they're like, well, we're gonna use a tile. Everybody's fucked up to try some new stuff. So one of the scientists working here was called Dr. Albert Hoffman. Recognise the name?

SPEAKER_01

Not yet.

SPEAKER_00

He was a chemist working for a Swiss pharmaceutical company called the Sando Laboratories in Basel. Okay. So he wasn't researching drugs for recreation or anything like that mind expansion.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

He was studying ergoth. Do you know what ergos is? Spelling. E-R-G-O-T. Ergoth.

SPEAKER_01

I know I I've seen that word, but I don't know what it means.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, it's a fungus and it grows on like grain, rye, and stuff like that. Yeah. Um have you ever heard of Saint St. Anthony's Fire? Yeah. So that was a medieval condition, and that was brought on by Ergos, and it caused uh like burning pain and like limbs, fingers, convulsions, hallucinations. Sometimes it was really bad, and fingers and toes would fall away. Yeah with ergoth poison. Yeah. So he was studying ergos, and he was he was fascinated by it. And he thought he felt that in controlled small amounts it might have um benefits. As we know now, a lot of things do like microdose of mushrooms. Send it off your head if you have a full one, but microdose and it can help other things. And he believed that ergos was one of them, like I said, it was a fungus. Um, and obviously it is chemically dangerous, but it was in this like controlled uh laboratory, yeah, and he was setting up lots of different experiments of like different different amounts of calls, they're called titers, I think, aren't they? When the there's different amounts, different titrations. That's the one. See?

SPEAKER_01

That's why I'm on here.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So, anyway, previous to this time in 1938, he's already synthesized a compound called lysergic acid diethalamade. And it was a 25th compound in a series that he'd been studying.

SPEAKER_01

I think you're not wear this as I had mouth.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. At the time, nothing remarkable happened. Yeah. Early testing suggested no medical benefits, and the compound was shelved for five years. So we're fast forwarding now to April 1943. And Hoffman, he had this, he called it a strange intuition that this compound might have been previously overlooked.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And he later described it as a peculiar presentiment, and he said that the compound deserved another look. And the compound was LSD. LSD. Or rightly called LSD 25, because it was the 25th compound at the time that he was um looking into. So he decided to resynthesize this LSD to see if there's anything more to it, because like I said, it was shelved, nothing happened, there's just nothing about it at all. But and he'd literally synthesized hundreds and hundreds of other molecules, but this one kept nagging him, and he was like, So there was something in Sethos, but he didn't know, he didn't know what. Anyway, as he was working in the lab, he had accidentally absorbed a tiny amount of the substance through his skin. And by the time um the effects were starting to happen, he was like, What the fuck? How did this even happen? He just didn't realise what was going on. He started to feel a bit strange. He described a sensation of like dizziness, restlessness, and slight intoxication. He went home early, thinking he might be ill, but then the real effects began. In his own words, he said he experienced an uninterrupted stream of fantastic pictures, extraordinary shapes with intense kaleidoscopic play of colours. Sounds amazing. He said the visions came with his eyes closed and open, and he said reality felt unstable and the experience lasted for several hours. I mean, it was a bad trip. Imagine that for several hours. Oh my god. Anyway, at the time he had no idea what had caused it. We know now that he'd absorbed a small amount while he'd been working on it. He did have his suspicions though that it had been one of the compounds. Um, and so he decided because he's a scientist and they like to test things to the point of recklessness, he did it again. So three days later, 19th of April, he deliberately ingested 250 milligrams of LSD. Now I looked into, because I've never took LSD, and I looked into what a normal dose would be. A normal dose is between 50 and 100 micrograms, and he took 250. So he unknowingly took what would now be considered a very, very powerful. Anyway, within an hour of taking it, the effect had the effects hit hard. Very hard. He later wrote that he felt waves of anxiety and distortion. Objects in the room appeared to shift and bend, and his colleague had to escort him home. But because of wartime restrictions, cars were scarce. So what did he do?

SPEAKER_01

Walked.

SPEAKER_00

No. So you don't know the whole story. No. So he travelled home. The only way he had available at the time, by bicycle. Oh. And the journey would become legendary. And today it's celebrated by psychedelic enthusiasts as bicycle day. The 19th of April, when this actually happened. Yeah. Have you not heard of that before? So there's t-shirts and caps out there, bicycle day on it. It's all about the day that Hoffman took 250 milligrams, micrograms of LSD and tried to cycle home because it was a bad, bad ride.

SPEAKER_01

I I can imagine it was pretty interesting.

SPEAKER_00

Apparently, it wasn't, you know, um joyous, rainbow coloured, no kind of adventure. It was terrifying, he said. He thought he might be dying. The streets warped and stretched. He later said the houses appeared to lean and melt like reflections rippling in water. By the time he reached away, he was convinced he'd poisoned himself. He would, wouldn't you? Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, a doctor was called, and the doctor examined him. And bizarrely, he said, apart from having like huge dilated pupils, he was perfectly fine. There was nothing else about him that was abnormal. Pulse, everything was fine. So the doctor said it was just an overwhelming psychological experience, basically, and just sleep it off. So that moment marked the first recorded intentional LSD trip in human history, 19th of April 1943. Yeah. Unbelievable. Yeah. So anyway, excuse me, there's some lesser known details about the experience. Uh he said that after this intense phase had subsided, like really intense phase, he reported that the the next phase was extraordinary and astonishingly beautiful. He said ordinary objects like furniture, flowers, and even the walls that seemed to glow with life. He was tripping balls in, wasn't he, tell ya?

SPEAKER_01

And uh he said twist hits off.

SPEAKER_00

And he said he later described the feeling as a state of unprecedented well-being. So basically, the first ever trip recorded follows the same pattern as what it does now. This like state of terror and then wonder. Um, it didn't explode immediately into global fame. I thought it would. I thought people were like, get off of some of that. Um it sat quiet for a little bit, and then there were some other researchers later on in the 40s rebranded it as Del Cid, and it was um distributed to psychotherapists, and they thought that it would have benefits in treating certain patients like schizophrenia patients, and uh it would help people release deep-seated emotions and memories. So it in the 50s it was like a therapy, and they used it also to tackle things like alcoholism, depression, um, trauma, end-of-life anxiety, that that kind of thing. But because basically the rest of the world also got holds of LSD, it spread right around the world as a recreational drug, yeah, as we know. Um, and the CIA got hold of it as well. Have you heard heard of MK Ultra? MK Ultra, yeah. Yeah, I've talked about it on Unhinged or our spin-off. Um, and so it was getting used for all sorts of things. There's one case, um, there's a US Army scientist called Frank Frank Olsen, and he was secretly given LSD by his colleagues uh during a meeting in 1953. Anyway, nine days later he was still tripping on the Life Fantastic and uh he fell or jumped from a hotel window. I think it was ten stories. Oh yeah, nine or ten stories, uh, and he obviously died.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Anyway, back in Switzerland, Hoffman was watching all these developments, you know, the recreational side, the CIA, these little incidents that were going on, people were hurting themselves. Uh, and he still believed that it had enormous potential for like psychiatric and spiritual exploration. Uh, but he wasn't happy with how it was being used at all, like as a recreational thing, basically. Um, and by the 1970s, LSD was banned in most countries, and research stopped almost overnight. Um, and for decades, then it was primarily illegal, illegal recreational drug. But Hoffman never really stopped believing in it. Um, and he said that he occasionally took LSD well into his old age as well. He believed that used carefully it could promote a deeper connection to nature and the universe. And he lived to 102. Beef. 102? I mean, back then, that's a grand old age, really. That's age now. No, yeah. Anyway, uh later in life, uh he was asked about LSD, and he said LSD is a medicine for the soul. He's just high for the whole of his life, I think, wasn't he? Yeah. Uh I've never took LSD. Um, I'm really uh afraid actually of taking anything that makes me lose that much control. So, like Bevian, you know, you gotta get a bit pissed. I mean, I've I've had black out of the other day. Yeah, but I don't like being unable to control myself and everything around me looking like it's totally off its head. Yeah it freaks me out. So I don't think I could or would take LSD for that reason. But also, I've said it before on the pod, me and Jim are really nervous about taking mushrooms. Never talk a mushroom in my life. And I know there's some people that we know that micro dose them for like anxiety and ADHD and all that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I've seen stuff in the news about this, like that um they've been using it for like PTSD, like that sort of doing like case studies with like sort of um ax military with like PCSD and stuff like that, aren't they?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, well that was my closing thing, actually. So even though it's completely illegal now, um, in this day and age, we are obviously seeing the benefits, and um the scientists now who are rediscovering the initial therapeutic uses that we saw years ago. Yeah PTSD, severe depression, addiction. They saw big, big strides in alcohol addiction. I was gonna read a little bit more around it, but then I didn't. Um, but there was something specific to do with alcohol addiction and LSD helping that. So all that because one guy accidentally absorbed a few molecules on his fingers, basically. Imagine tripping for the first time and not knowing what it was.

SPEAKER_01

Well, that's it, isn't it? I mean, if you you know, it's I suppose like if you've intentionally took it, like you know what's coming, don't you? If you don't know, you're just gonna be like, what the fuck's going on?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and then when it wears off, I want that again. No wonder you went through his hundreds of compounds trying to find it again. So, um, so yeah, I'm I knew that story anyway, but I wanted to tell it again. Um, I just love the fact that the whole bicycle thing has come from it as a bicycle day on the 19th of April, all in celebration.

SPEAKER_01

Of the first trip, do you have to have a trip while you're on the bike ride, though?

SPEAKER_00

Yes, Andy, you do.

SPEAKER_01

I was like that thinking, is it?

SPEAKER_00

Yes, you do. So on the 19th of April, when you go on a long bike ride, yeah, you need to be tripping balls, mate, and report back. And in Switzerland, you'll be taking LSD thinking you're in Switzerland. You're just on the prom outside. Right. Before we go, I'm gonna do a little lazy lobotomy.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

You know what one of these is, don't you? No. No. Oh okay. I thought I'd done one with you. So lazy lobotomy, I've been doing it for once and once and once, don't. It's like an advice column, and they're either BTSM related or sex released or something like that. Why are you laughing? I've just said because you make funny sex noises like a donkey. Yeah, like don't come to me for advice, I sound like a donkey when I'm coming. So now everyone knows. Everybody knows, yeah. Oh come on, nothing's a secret, really, is it?

SPEAKER_01

You know, I piss myself on my bikes, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's not supergressing.

SPEAKER_00

It's been talked about as well in the comments.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So Lady Lobosomy is just like a little advice thing, and um, if you want to chirp in with advice, you can do.

SPEAKER_01

You know, you don't want my advice.

SPEAKER_00

You're still alive, aren't you? I'm still here, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

You're still here, tell the story. After that, after the afternoon, see you guys.

SPEAKER_00

Oh anyway, so I'll start off by uh dear Lady Lobosomy.

SPEAKER_01

So some so someone like Dolphin, have they?

SPEAKER_00

All of these are actual emails or DMs or whatever that people have sent it. And the they know you see that they're pretty good. So the the I've had some really mad ones. The last one I had was nuts, 30-year-old virgin. Have you listened to Barry's one? Yes.

SPEAKER_01

Not all of it. I've never got a lot. I went, but do you know what? It's one of them, it's like I went I went for it, and then something come up and it's like life gets in the way, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_00

Well, I listen to podcasts all the time, and sometimes in like three or four chunks, because I'm just busy. I'll stick it on while I'm doing the dishes, I'm doing the dishwasher, whatever, and then I'll come for a shower and it goes off. Yeah. And then I'll pick up pick it up again later. So I totally get it. It's fine. So, dear Lady Lobotomy. Love listening to y'all. Must be somebody from America.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, Zafo.

SPEAKER_00

Keep up the amazing work and yeah. Keep up the amazing work and thank you for reading my message. Very polite. I recently started exploring BDSM spaces online, and at first it was just harmless fun and curiosity. I created a profile under a different name and experimented with presenting myself in a different role. A more confident, dominant person of myself that I don't usually show in real life. What surprised me is how natural it felt, and I found myself speaking more openly, setting boundaries, and expressing desires I've never admitted out loud. Now I want to explore this in real life, but I'm terrified that I will bum and it'll destroy my confidence. I'm questioning whether I'm enjoying it because it's not real and I can hide behind the keyboard, and it should really stay that way. I think what I'm trying to say is, should I really keep this as a fantasy or should I just go for it? Looking forward to meeting the new hosts, love Abigail. Permission to use my name. So basically, Abigail has got an online persona where she's dominant, confident, assertive, she likes herself in this role. That's good. She's found herself speaking more openly, setting boundaries, expressing desires, fantasies that she's never admitted out loud. Yeah. So hiding behind the keyboard, it's brought herself out of herself.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And she's wanting to explore in real life, but she's terrified that it might kill the fantasy. So she's enjoying the fantasy that much. Yeah. She doesn't really want to try it in case she's disappointed. And then how do you go back then to the fantasy because actually the fantasy's just been killed? Yeah. So she's saying, should I keep it as a fantasy comments? Or should she give it a go and step into the real world?

SPEAKER_01

It's an hard one, isn't it? Do you know what I mean? It's like you know, I I get that, like, you know, you know what, and I think it is a great thing. That she's like, you know, sort of she's saying, like, only you know, doing all like this stuff online, and like, you know, sorting to a couple of people and all that, and it's making me feel better and stuff. That that's boss, that do you know what I mean? I'm all for that, and and yeah, it it can be like you know, you know, some sometimes you know, like I suppose like afternoon here, oh my oh my, like sometimes your expectations don't be such what you think they were gonna be. No, but I I don't know, I I think that's it, that that's an itch that needs scratching that for me.

SPEAKER_00

So I think what I would advise with this lady, Abigail. Thanks for writing in, Abigail, really, really appreciate it. Because this I think is something that a lot of people might have come across because all of us are online, it's very easy for us to make an avatar of ourselves and be something we're not. Look at Sims and all that kind of thing. So it's not unusual, and I think there's gonna be a lot of people out there who actually hang on. We're streaming again now, it's absolutely fine. Um, so yeah, I think um or the people will also be thinking, Do I take this into the real world? I think she's by asking the question, she needs to take it into the real world because it's already in the back of her mind. And you don't want to look back on life at our age and think, we should have done that. Yeah. Even if it didn't work out.

SPEAKER_01

Definitely.

SPEAKER_00

You you don't you don't want to look back and go, what if?

SPEAKER_01

I'd rather look at all this one go out of this.

SPEAKER_00

I'd rather look back and go, well fucking hell, that was hard, it didn't work out, but I'm glad I tried.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I've learned something from it. And I think if she just tried to tiptoe rather than like, she's like she's saying she's a dominant online, confident, assertive, and all that. I think I'd go to a munch and not even have a role. I wouldn't say I'm dominant or submissive. I think I would go to a munch or maybe like a beginner's level event somewhere. I'll tell you that in a minute.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, right, so okay.

SPEAKER_00

Um you should know this, and I thought I'm not in America. You don't need to be in America. The word munch actually isn't really an American word. Anyway.

SPEAKER_01

No, go on, go on, go on, we'll come back to that then.

SPEAKER_00

Just turn your microphone around a little bit for us. There you go. Um so I would go to an entry-level event or a munch, not take on a roll and just watch and observe and see everybody else and how they behave at these sorts of events, and if the reality meets the fantasy. And if it's anywhere close to the fantasy, I'd go again. And I'd just go for socials and just see, and I'd keep the fantasy life going online, I'd keep the real life going socially, and then I think eventually things might just evolve without trying too much. I think if you go with an expectation and an idea of what is going to happen, you'll be disappointed.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, and you don't want to destroy that fantasy because she's really, really enjoying it online. So I'd keep the two separate for now, yeah, and just see where it evolves naturally.

SPEAKER_01

Do you know what? That's so astute, that's sage advice that.

SPEAKER_00

Is it?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Oh yeah, really a couple of decades, haven't I? You know what I mean? Um and then if at any point the real life is a bit like meh, do you know what? It's actually not as exciting as what I can get online, then step away.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um but what you'll find is actually I don't think the two can be compared that much. I think a fantasy in your head is always gonna be different than the reality. And therefore online is gonna be no different because what you're presenting online is what's in your head. So I I don't think they can be compared. Having real interactions are nothing like having online interactions, and we are gonna behave differently when somebody's looking in the lights of our eyes than they are looking at the words on the screen. They're definitely gonna be responding differently. So I actually think you should go along socially and see where it goes out and the expectations, but also be of a mind that you might actually have two different journeys here. Yeah, I think the online and the real life journey might take two different paths, and it might be that in real life she's not a dominant, she might want to keep the dominant online, it could go anywhere, and actually that's what's so exciting about all this. She could be a switch, she could be a switch, like me. Yeah, get you. Um so this this could lead to lots of different paths. So I think yes, you should try in real life, but just socially. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And just see where it's. I think that's a good idea. And like say, but whatever the fucking hell the munch is called in America, she should go to one of them.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. So a munch in America is called a munch. Right. And um it sort of started in America, but it also started over here as well simultaneously. And it was in the early, early nineties, it was quite a long time ago. And it was when you couldn't just walk into BDSM spaces, yeah. Which has actually only been since the likes of Townhouse have been around really. So I'd say about 22, 23 years. Before that, it was invites only to any events really, and or you know, obviously people's houses and stuff and underground stuff. So the munches came about because Kingsters wanted to find each other without needing to wait for an invite. And so they met in burger bars over food, and they called it a munch. It is literally that simple. And so they would arrange, you know, through like ads and stuff like that. We're we're gonna meet in blah blah burger bar, come and have a munch with us, and you know, well, cheer the fact that.

SPEAKER_01

I know that I knew that was why a munch was called a munch, because it was like it was like that y you would meet somewhere like sort of socially have something to eat and stuff like that, but I didn't realise that it actually starts in America.

SPEAKER_00

But that's why, because they didn't want to be obvious, yeah, they wanted to be somewhere public and easy for people to get to, we could like share food because it's a social thing to do, chat about BDSM in a public arena but without being too obvious. So they just chose like a fast food place and went for a munch, and that's it. And now munch is the basically a universal word around the world. There you go. And if you're interested, we have the Will munch at Townhouse, second Tuesday of every month. But if you're not in our local area, go and Fet Life and type in munch.

SPEAKER_01

And you'll probably get to see me as well.

SPEAKER_00

Probably will, yeah. If you want, please don't say laugh, love, or my bad. Yeah, or or bar, yeah. So on that very stressful fucking munch bombshell. I'm just coming down now from that beginning, but yeah. That was mind-blowing.

SPEAKER_01

It was it was yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I think what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna do some practice shots. I mean, I did do a practice stream last night, private, it went private, it wasn't public, and everything was fine. So I don't know why strange one, yeah. But I think what I might do is not stream it on YouTube, I might stream it on this riverside that I'm on now, because look how nice and clear that picture is. Um, and I'm a bit more familiar with Riverside, and I feel that making the link to YouTube is what's been the problem.

SPEAKER_01

You can see me socks.

SPEAKER_00

You can. Everybody loves your socks.

SPEAKER_01

With pictures of me on.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So thank you to those who did manage to join us for a little bit on the live stream before it all went wrong badly. I mean, I don't I wasn't touching nothing at the time. It somebody just said the sound. Oh, something happened to the camera, didn't it? I think, and then it all went wrong after that. So I don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

We'll get to the bottom of it. But at least we've actually managed to get to the bottom of it.

SPEAKER_00

I was gonna say royal wee. But at least, you know what, we've managed to record on camera for the first time. Yeah, how was it for you?

SPEAKER_01

It was good. Do you know what? You forget, don't you?

SPEAKER_00

Well then again, you're looking at that.

SPEAKER_01

I know I did I I kept looking at I I have been like sort of looking a bit and that, but yeah, it was alright though, you know what I mean? It was it's not too bad, is it? It was good.

SPEAKER_00

I actually miss not being on camera. I didn't think I would. Yeah, but I mean obviously you've known no different doing the audio, so that's where you're comfortable. But not having the camera on me and be able to look at I don't think you've noticed when we were doing our thing. I kept looking out and then looking back, it's because I'm used to having a camera there. Yeah, I'd like you know, communicate with the audience. So it's been nice having the camera back, and I never thought I'd do myself so.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, I know when you when you when you did say about like doing it, like about like, oh, we're gonna do it on camera. I I was a bit like Did you ask? Well at your pants. Fuck.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Um but you know, I I like a made the point of getting up early, did me uh made sure all my your nose hair was trimmed, you've hind your shirt. Yeah, I'm sure moisturized special socks. Moisturised. Oh, lovely. Yeah, moisturizer, never dry skin on you. I'll just soak them up my best, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00

Wouldn't it have been fuming though, if this hadn't worked and you put all the effort in.

SPEAKER_01

That'd have been fun, devastating off.

SPEAKER_00

I'm devastated the live stream hasn't worked because I know all of our Patreons are really looking forward to it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But um, you know, it's just one of those things, and we'll get there. We'll get there eventually. But at least we've got it on camera. Yeah. And I can I can put my camera editing skills to the test. This is gonna be me having a meltdown until Thursday now, you know. It really is. It really is. Right, so we're gonna leave it there. I'm not gonna do um a fetish factory today because we've been going for an hour and fifteen merch, that's long enough.

SPEAKER_01

If you talk about lunches and all that in me, that'll that'll do you.

SPEAKER_00

And quite frankly, I need a piss. So we're going to go. Do you remember what the last bit is? If you're binge watching. If you binge watching if you binge watching.

SPEAKER_01

Put the cattle on. Yeah. If you've been binge watching, put the put the cattle on. And the sunlight. Oh, come on.

SPEAKER_00

We'll see you in five.

SPEAKER_01

We'll see you in five. If yeah. Having a dump.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my goodness. Okay, so if you're binge watching, binge watching pop the cattle on the cattle on, we'll see you in five. If not, we'll see you next week.

SPEAKER_01

See you next week, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And you will see us next week, because we're back on camera again. Bye. Ta. And there we have it. Another day made better by listening to the creators of chaos. Thanks for dropping by, and if you enjoyed the show, we'd really appreciate you sharing your love the Panthercell podcast with your friends. Don't forget to give us a follow on our socials, maybe leave us some five-star reviews, and feel free to send us an email to medic at thepantaselpodcast.co.uk, or even interact us on Facebook because we love chatting to you. Be sure to stop by next week because, as Bowie says, I don't know where I'm going next, but I promise it won't be boring. Catch you soon.