Episode 129 - 'Gloryhole vs Blacklight'

We have big news, which takes us down memory lane...don't worry, the pod is going nowhere! 

Vic is joined by Jim and after we touch on a speeding US president, unusual pin ups and mythical creatures, we look back on our time running, arguably, one the best adult lifestyle venues in the UK. 

Vic needs a tissue, lets put it that way!

Enjoy!

Vic and Jim xxx

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Recorded and Produced by Vicky at The Padded Cell Studios

Ep 1 - 120 recorded at: 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Are you a deviant? You know, like those of those who binge what serial killer programs laugh at the stupid stuff people do, and revel in anything else? Well, you found your people, jolly nobles, as we crack open the door to the path of cell and release the insanely stupid, the weirdly wonderful, and those who choose to live like science of science for nobles. We developed the strange, the macabre, the sexy and the outrageous! So, if you're a deviant, then you have your place in the path of cell. Okay. Hello, and welcome to episode 129 of the Pathercell podcast coming from my own home studio, and today we've got my host, Jim. Hiya guys. It's Jim again. Um for a couple of reasons. Uh it's uh Easter Bank Holiday weekend, as we're a cause, and I wouldn't ask any of our other hosts to give up their Easter. But also we've got a little bit of news, which some of you would have seen online because I've been putting it out there. But for those that don't go on social media um or just haven't seen it yet, um, as you know, Jim and I have been the owners of Townhouse Swing and the Fetish Club in uh on the whirl for 15 years, and um we are leaving on the 30th of April. We're stepping down as directors, and we're gonna become landlords, aren't we, Jim?

SPEAKER_03 1:27

Certainly are.

SPEAKER_01 1:27

We're gonna be rent collectors banging on the door. So um, yeah, after many, many years uh running probably one of the best lifestyle clubs out there. I know I'm biased, but you know, we're gonna be uh stepping down and handing over to Sarah and Andy, who you've all messed in inverted commas. Uh you've you've seen Sarah on video here and there if you're on Patreon. And you've also seen Andy, because he's one of our new co-hosts. They're married and uh they've been managing the operational side of the venue now for quite a while, uh, a couple of years, really, and uh just not the business side and the stuff that Jim does on the private hire side. But uh now they're gonna be taking it all on and they're gonna be taking over Townhouse, and uh, we're just gonna be in the background, leaving them to us, carrying on the legacy, as it were.

SPEAKER_03 2:21

God loves them.

SPEAKER_01 2:23

Um, they're gonna do great. I'm really, really, really excited for them. Uh, but I've got to say, I'm a bit more excited for us.

SPEAKER_03 2:31

Mostly never being so excited, it's gonna be garden.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

You're officially old now, Jim. Yeah, yeah. So um, yeah, so we're uh we're looking forward to having some downtime. Well, I'm saying downtime, I'm gonna be podcasting full time. Woohoo! Now that I've got the studio and finding mojo a little bit, we've got our hosts in place and that. I'm gonna be podcasting full-time and metal detecting, as you'd all know. Um and and you're gonna be gardening, aren't you? We we've got a front and back garden, massive, it's like it's a whole lifetime's worth of work, basically. So it's gonna keep you amused.

SPEAKER_03 3:08

It's gonna keep me amused. I didn't think I'd enjoy gardening so much.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

No.

SPEAKER_03 3:12

But forced upon me as it was, I think I've run with it. I'm good to I can't identify nothing, but I can't actually I I can actually cut things out and trim things down.

SPEAKER_01 3:23

Oh, you certainly can do that. Sometimes I come in and there's like a tree missing, or like a big, lovely, healthy tree that was doing really well has just been lobbed right back because you're like, well, next year it'll be even bushier and I know it will, but it's like all at once, and I'm like, where's the fucking garden gone? But it looks great, you've done a good job. And yeah, you're you're uh enjoying it now, aren't you? Yeah, I'm enjoying it, yeah. Even though it was thrust upon you. Even though I'm laying I'm laying as I go. Google lens is your friends. Google lens is your friends. We find things in the garden and go, right, okay, what the fuck's this now? We get the Google lens out, don't wait. Then we find out if it's a weed or something that it's worth keeping first of all, because we can't even identify and identify a weed. And then it's like, do we want to keep it? We've already got three of these. Let's get that one out. And we found some fruit um trees and that we didn't know at first. Yeah. When we first moved in, we were like, I don't know what any of this is, and we found all sorts. Yeah, yeah. There's a pear pear tree, two apple trees, a fig tree, a grapevine, there's rhubarb, plums something else. Where else is there?

SPEAKER_03 4:26

Um the olive.

SPEAKER_01 4:27

The olive, that's right. It hasn't got any olives on it yet.

SPEAKER_03 4:30

Bay leaf.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

Bay leaf, yeah, it's all sorts out there.

SPEAKER_03 4:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

Yeah. And uh like the good life. It is like the good life. We just need a pig.

SPEAKER_03 4:39

That's it. If nobody knows what the good life is, it was a 70s sitcom, about two sets of neighbours, and one re er decides to do their own uh cultivating and they have this big posh garden with the grow veggie in, but it's very swinger-oriented as well, which is quite funny.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

Well, it's not so not supposed to have swinging undertones, it's all about the good life, isn't it? The good life. Growing your own stuff and living off your own land and all that. But they've got neighbours next door, Margot and Teddy, but it's not. Okay, you think about that, and I'll carry on. So Margot and a bloke next door, and Margot's just fabulous in typical 70s garb, long, flowing, brightly coloured, like they're not like gowns. Gowns, aren't they? Really? She goes for for like peacock feathers round the sleeves and round the but she goes next door just for like a cup of tea or something. She floats in and in all sorts of she, she's just fabulous. But there's one particular episode, and you're like, these have got to be swingers, and they do everything but swing, yeah. And uh it's only you know, years later people are like there's like undertones of swinging, and there and now that we've we know that and we've and we've been on the sea and and we watch it now, we're like, fucking hell, yeah. There's no beating around the bush. Well, maybe there is some beating around the bush, but you know. So you're gonna be gardening and I'm gonna be metal detecting. Yeah, I'm hoping to find some treasure. I've said before, rings are engagement rings that have been lobbed off the Mersey ferry. Yeah. They're gonna land right outside our house on the beach. Because I won't go any further, fuck that.

SPEAKER_03 6:07

You better get a fucking treasure.

SPEAKER_01 6:14

So uh so yeah, anyway, going back. So we're we're leaving Townhouse, and uh it is an end of an era. We've been doing this a long time now. It's been our life now for a long time, and uh we've been entrenched in it, we've given a lot of ourselves, and it's time now for us to step back, let some uh fresher, less tired people take over uh who've got some new ideas to take the club forward and the scene within the venue as well. Because as we get older, you know, we get a little bit out of touch with things, you know. People want different things, and what we wanted back in the day isn't necessarily what people want now. And uh, with us not being in the club all the time now, it's it's really easy to lose touch on you know what is wanted by the crowd now. And uh, Sarah and Andy are very much finger on the pulse of there, you know, day in and day out. They know all the crowd, they know the scene, and I'm excited now to let them take a lead and take the club forward into the next generation. It's gonna be boss, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 7:09

Yeah, most definitely.

SPEAKER_01 7:10

Yeah, I'm gonna be watching you from the sidelines, not judging at all, but you watch it with excitement to see you know where where it all goes next. So all exciting stuff. But because of that, we're later on we're gonna be talking a little bit more about Townhouse and uh just what it's been like for us the past 15 years, really. Yeah, I have been writing some uh memo notes, not to say here, but you know, one day in like my next life when I want to write a book, I've been writing little ideas. Don't have a told of us. Yeah, I'll you've talked about it for years, but well, that I've actually got a proper structure and how this could work as well. Oh, okay. Yeah, but I promised you I wouldn't take on any of the jobs.

SPEAKER_03 7:45

Well, that's it.

SPEAKER_01 7:46

So, but you know, I could just leisurely, every now and then, just as I get a little ideas, you never know. So but that's later on. We're going to talk about um townhouse later on. But for now, because I know you all like um our structure and you don't like change. I don't like change, there's an awful lot of it. We're gonna do some on this days. I can't actually believe we're doing on this days for April.

SPEAKER_03 8:08

I know, yeah, it's it's the years flying by.

SPEAKER_01 8:11

I know we always say it, don't we? And I know you'd all get fed up of it. But um I met my nan said years ago, she said, enjoy your youth, because when you hit 21, it goes really, really quick. And you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just it just it just does, doesn't it? You know?

SPEAKER_05 8:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

And you look back, you think all the things you've done. I think it retrospectively, because I've been thinking about Town House over the years, because we've been doing uh we're gonna have a good bye party, we've been planned a goodbye party, and just thinking about our time there, gosh, we we fit an awful lot in in that time, but we gave a lot of ourselves and literally our life as those last 15 years have been a blur, really, haven't they? Yeah, yeah. And here you are, like I'm 50, you're 60. Yeah, and you're like, what the fuck happened there? Yeah, it's just nuts as much.

SPEAKER_03 8:53

But if you take into account the fact that we were going there for what for four or five years before that as well, so you know, you you're talking another few years on that as well.

SPEAKER_01 9:01

I mean we were going to Pussycat's Pleasure Rooms before then, but we actually went to Townhouse, yeah. And it's about six months after it opens, we're one of the very first members. Yeah. So anyway, this is going out on the 9th of April. To the masses, anyway. It's gonna be four, that's the patrons, but to the masses on the ninth.

SPEAKER_03 9:18

I'm gonna say me fucking car. I should be in the garage two days ago.

SPEAKER_01 9:22

Oh, yeah, Daisy. So I um I think we've mentioned Daisy before. I don't know. She is your pride and joy. You call her Daisy because she's bright yellow and she goes like shit off a shovel. Yeah, fast as fuck, second gear is amazing. Yeah, up to 30, obviously. Brilliant.

SPEAKER_00 9:36

Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:37

40 where you can, 70 on it where it's legally allowed on a motorway. Um, she never goes over the speed limits. She likes to drive herself occasionally, doesn't she? So when she goes over the speed limits, you have to tell her off, don't you?

SPEAKER_03 9:48

Yeah, autopilot.

SPEAKER_01 9:51

So anyway, 9th of April. And have you heard, I'm sure you've heard, of uh Ulysses S. Grant. You know your history. Yeah. Okay. Do you want to know what he's famous for?

SPEAKER_03 10:02

Yeah, yeah, he was president of the United States Ulysses S. Grant.

SPEAKER_01 10:05

Okay, he actually helped end the American Civil War. Yeah. Yeah. But did you know that also, this is 1866, so don't expect you to like pluck it from your brain, but you know. This is decades obviously before cars existed. Grant was reportedly pulled over for speeding in a horse and buggy in Washington, DC. He was, yeah, yeah, yeah. How many points did he get? We didn't get points, but he did actually get a fine. Yeah, yeah. So this guy that helped end the American Civil War was basically ragging a horse and calf around the streets. I thought you say his boss, like a proper boy racer. Yeah. So uh anyway, uh officers reportedly stopped him on 14th Street and intentionally ragging this thing round, so it wasn't like I've got to be somewhere. He was just on a joyride. Basically, he was just like, Yeah, fuck this shit. They get the horses out, get the buggy out, and he just went on a jolly and was ragging it all over the place and he pulled him over. Yeah, yeah. So, anyway, the best bit, when officers challenged him, um he initially doubted that they had the authority to stop him. Like, yeah, in other words, don't you know who I am? But that obviously means nothing if you're speezing in a horse and buggy. But he did the right thing, he turns up, of course, and he paid the fine. So he did the right thing in the end. But it's just hilarious that you know, they're pulling this guy over, this trailblazer, the man who changed the face of history. Yeah. Because he was ragging his horse and buggy around the streets.

SPEAKER_03 11:33

That's like Prince Philip in that because he used to do that uh horse and car thing. I just thought he'd drove Land Rovers, like chariot racing type thing. No, no, they go over um obstacles and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01 11:43

No, I've seen that, they got big wheels on the wall.

SPEAKER_03 11:45

Yeah, I don't know what the ho what it's called now, but he used to do that, that was his hobby.

SPEAKER_01 11:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 11:50

Yeah, he was a bit of a bit of a go-getter.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

Well, there you go. Yeah. I just see a soul and driving around.

SPEAKER_03 11:57

But he was just heard arsoning. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:59

He was totally, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:01

I'll let go of my reins, it was the horses, give them a ticket.

SPEAKER_01 12:04

It was their fault. The horses are bolted. Again, 9th of April, 1959. Have you heard of the Mercury 7 linked to space?

SPEAKER_03 12:15

Yeah, yeah. They were um I can't remember the full details. 57.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

1959. 59. So it was it was two years after Sputnik.

SPEAKER_03 12:24

Right, yeah, yeah. It would have been the American version then, wouldn't it? Up up on a up into space.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

Yeah. Well, we're not actually going to go into uh the journey or much into the exploration, but more about the guys themselves. The Mercury 7 are seven men.

SPEAKER_03 12:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:41

And they were America's first astronauts. They were the the guys who were chosen to attempt to be the first Americans in the stratosphere and stuff. Yeah, yeah. And more importantly, get them back alive. Yeah. Because obviously it hadn't been done before. So at that point, they were like, Would you be able to cope? Would your heart be able to cope? Can you still swallow, blink, operate switches, and be able to function at a high level as a human? They just didn't know what was going to happen. So I mean essentially it was like a very expensive science experiment, really, wasn't it? They just did not know if it was going to work or not. Anyway, the seven chosen were Scott Carpenter, Gordon Cooper, John Glenn, Gus Grissom.

SPEAKER_03 13:22

John Glenn, I know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:23

Do you? Uh Wally Shearer, Alan Shepard, and Deke Slayton. That's the seven men. Every one of them had been a military test pilot before. And overnight, these guys were made into celebrities. So what you'd see today on the likes of Instagram and Facebook influencers, people who they were on time and stuff like that. They were on all sorts of magazines, yeah, Time magazine and all the press magazines. And what they were trying to do is not just show these guys as astronauts but as capable, confident, fearless. They were trying to make them into heroes almost because it's a big, big thing for America. Well they did. Because the Russians had already done Sputnik. They're like, Well, we're not gonna be overshadowed by the Ruskies, we're gonna make our guys like look like super sharp. So they had them in like these sharp suits. Like, and if you look at the pictures, they've got like perfectly parted like your side parts greased, like 1950s hair, and beautiful wives on their arms, you know, they were like pinups, big American smiles, all that. But really, behind all that, even though they were being made into superheroes with no nerves, no fear, and all the rest of us. They they were still veer into the unknown, and actually, I don't think you know the spacecraft. It wasn't like it was tiny, it wasn't like a sleek new beautiful rocket like you see now. It was just a capsule, wasn't it? It was just a capsule, it's like a metal thimble that they're gonna basically explode from underneath. It it looks like something off um uh Stingray and all that years ago. It looks like it should have strings. This thing, when you see it in the pictures, it doesn't look like it's gonna take off at all. Um so really when you think about it, these guys are looking at this thing going, okay, so they're gonna like set fire to it underneath, it's gonna explode and it's gonna fire us into the air, and somehow we're gonna have to keep this thing going and stay alive. It must have been quite daunting, really. Yeah. If you think about it. You know, but at the end of the day, this is a space race, and uh these guys were totally up for it and apparently fearless, but who knows? Who knows what was going through the heads really at the time?

SPEAKER_03 15:27

They would have had to be fearless because otherwise they'd fuck up. So uh they test them, don't they? And they get trained. So, you know, every s I'm sure I'm sure with NASA they would have even voted would have run every eventuality, and I think there was a bit of hassle on that particular flight. I think they struggled to get back.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

No, that was the one that I spoke about on the last episode that I did with Andy. Okay. It wasn't the last one, it was one of the ones I did with Andy. That was the first man to walk in f in space. Um it was Alexei Leonov.

SPEAKER_03 15:57

Yeah. Yeah, remember that one? No, I think this has something different, but I'm not sure. I'd have to have a little look into it.

SPEAKER_01 16:02

Yeah. Anyway, what happened to these guys? So within a few years where they've been putting out there basically as these poster guys, uh, Alan Shepherd did become the first American in space. Okay. So the first American in space, not spacewalking or landing anywhere. And then John Glenn, uh, who you recognised, do you remember what he did? He did make it into space.

SPEAKER_03 16:23

He was Apollo, I think. He was a was he a Apollo, the first Apollo uh missions.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

He was the first American to orbit Earth. He did actually go on, you know, to to lead and complete successful missions, but at that time, as a Mercury 7, I I think they were very, very brave. And I was talking about the first man to walk in space, that makes me sick thinking about that. You don't know what's going to happen to you outside space. Yeah. You just don't know. That guy had some balls and he was young. Yeah. He was really young. I mean, the fact that he survived, and then they landed in Siberia. It took them two days to find them. I mean, fucking hell. What a story. Are these guys the first ever even to go in a rocket out of our stratosphere?

SPEAKER_03 17:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:07

You'd do that, wouldn't you, I think?

SPEAKER_03 17:08

I'd have a go, yeah. I mean, I definitely when you were younger, I don't have a fear of much of uh it's not confined spaces, so it'll be alright, even though you're supposed to be in a capsule.

SPEAKER_01 17:20

Yeah, in a capsule, and then taken off, you're in that that seat like, you know, for a while before you can get out. Yeah, yeah. You still move your hands though. I'd have a little go. It's your hands more with you, isn't it? You can't move your hands. Yeah, I don't like it. Well, we've watched some posso and things over the years, you're not now turn it off, can't watch it. You start deep breathing and everything, don't you? Yeah. What was that film years ago? Um was it the descent, the the hoda with all the girls that went down? There's like subterranean creatures down there. It was freaky, that. Yeah, it was. Lastly, on this day, it's National Unicorn Day.

SPEAKER_03 17:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

You're smiling like not that kind of unicorn, Jim. Oh, right.

SPEAKER_03 17:59

I haven't seen any on the prom.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

The uh the ones with horns and the ones with the big tits. Yeah. So, 9th of April is officially National Unicorn Day. And for those out there that don't know, the unicorn is the national animal or symbol of Scotland. Well done. So, you know, other countries out there, we have the lion, don't we? Yeah. America America have the eagle.

SPEAKER_05 18:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

Scotland choose to have um a mythical creature, the unicorn, which apparently, hang on, uh, I actually read up somewhere. Yeah, it became the symbol of strength, purity, independence, um, and power, which can only be tamed by royalty. Right. That's why they chose they chose the unicorn. But also for those out there uh who are not on the scene or haven't been on dating sites recently or anything like that, uh, the unicorn in our community is also a single lady. A single lady. And they're called unicorns because of virgins?

SPEAKER_03 19:03

No. Oh, right. The rare, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

Supposedly rare. I I would argue nowadays, actually, there's more single ladies than ever on the scene. I think as more and more women become a bit more assertive and confident and a bit more in control. I think there's women maybe leaving relationships and more confident to maybe explore other things. We're finding loads of single ladies. We've got loads booked in for our leaving party, you know. Oh, for yeah. Loads, and they're not all of our mates either.

SPEAKER_04 19:31

Happy days.

SPEAKER_01 19:32

Yeah, there's loads. So years ago there, when we first started out, a single lady was known as a unicorn because the couple and single lady dynamic is the most sought after, because a lot of couple uh females and couples who want to have a female by experience, so they look out for a by single female.

SPEAKER_03 19:50

So you can both have a play. Yeah. Or all three have a play.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

Yeah, or just the ladies, depending on what the dynamic is. And uh so so years ago that was a source after dynamic, and we were always after single ladies on the scene, not us everybody. And uh, if if a single lady came up, it's like, ooh, not that you pounced, but it was like, ooh, single lady. Yeah, um, so that's where the unicorn things come from, and uh you'll see it often on dating apps and and stuff like that. So uh so for people out there, it's either the uh national symbol of Scotland or it represents the elusive single female on the scene on the swinging and BDSM scene. So uh what however you uh you recognise the unicorn, happy unicorn day.

unknown 20:34

Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_03 20:35

I go and get some thistles from up on the garden rubbing on my balls.

unknown 20:41

Why?

SPEAKER_03 20:42

Scotland anyway.

SPEAKER_01 20:50

It's not a national, not like National Day of Scotland, it's just a unicorn day. You haven't got to go high old hog.

SPEAKER_03 20:56

So so I'd drinking whiskey and all. So other people can have a unicorn day, not just Scotland then.

SPEAKER_01 21:01

They could do it. Every day's a unicorn day in the in townhouse. It is right, so let's talk about townhouse. Let's move on to our time there. And we're not gonna be like, you know, one story and after another, you know, anecdotal stories. I thought what a more um natural way to talk about townhouse would be to start, if you like, from a person's journey as they walk in the club. Because we've got stories or anecdotes or just observations about every fucking corner of that club. Quite literally.

SPEAKER_03 21:37

Quite literally.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

Every corner of that we've cleaned some corners of that club after a heavy night.

SPEAKER_03 21:42

I've cleaned every corner of that club after every night. Every day.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

Yeah, so yeah, so a little behind the scenes knowledge. Um, cleaners and swingers' clubs need to they have like a kit, if you like. So they have the the the rags, you know, the microfiber cloths and the cleaning products, but they also get fitted with a UV light, a black light. Light. Yeah. Because it picks up stains.

SPEAKER_03 22:03

So you can clean properly.

SPEAKER_01 22:04

You can clean thoroughly. You see, you think I'm joking? I'm not joking, folks. Jim has gone round and does go round with a black light looking for splurges that have need cleaning. That need cleaning, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:17

Especially in the Glory Hole.

SPEAKER_01 22:18

Oh, fucking hell. We'll talk about the Glory Hole. So again, for those that don't know, it's called Jim's Jail. It's like um it's almost like a shower cubicle size, a bit bigger than a shower cubicle, a little seat in there, and it's got three holes where people on the outside can poke appendages in, yeah, or the person on the outside can poke their appendage out if they want. And it's supposed to be anonymous. So even though in the glory hole, nobody knows who's in there. So if you're in the glory hole and you're a receiver, the person outside doesn't know if you're a male, female, non-binary, tea girl, whatever.

SPEAKER_03 22:55

I was gonna say the beard gives it away, but then again it doesn't.

SPEAKER_01 22:59

I know. Especially with my chin as well at the moment. Um, so yeah, don't you don't know who's gonna be giving you nice times on the inside of the glory hole. So if if you um you you're a male and you have a willy and you put it inside the hole and you enjoy yourself, just don't think about who is the pleasure giver, basically. And if you're fussy, don't put your willy in the hole.

SPEAKER_03 23:20

Yeah, most definitely.

SPEAKER_01 23:22

Yeah. But obviously, because this is happening um and you know there's all going on through these holes, around the holes, it get it get it can get a bit grubby, can't it? We do have cleaning products in there and it gets cleaned round, but you know, it's quick clean, isn't it? Ready for the next person, I suppose, you know. Yeah. But when at the end of the night and when you're doing the deep clean and you get the black light on there, it it lights up. It it's light luminol with blood.

SPEAKER_03 23:48

It is, it is like that.

SPEAKER_01 23:51

Not quite as uh dexterish, not quite as dexterous, but it looks like a kill room sometimes in some rooms though, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah. So uh so that's our glory hole. It's not somewhere I've ever been and you've never been, I don't think. No. We used to have female glory holes as well, didn't we? Yes, yeah. So a female glory hole is slightly different. So it's not a room or uh like I've just explained. It's often um it can be a room, but it's often um like a screen with like quite a large hole, like an arch-shaped hole that you can fit your pelvis through and your legs stick out one end and your body is on the other side, so you can't see who's doing what to you on the pleasure side, basically.

SPEAKER_03 24:34

And there's a curtain over you.

SPEAKER_01 24:36

There's a curtain, so I mean you can open the curtain if you wanted to see, but most of it would just close the curtain because it's supposed to be anonymous. And uh we used to have like um like slings, like you haven't garnetures and we think they put the legs in for a bit of leverage. Yeah, and there's enough room on the head side of the glory hole for uh the partners of the female to go in, and they can have a nice time in there as well. So um, so yeah, it was like it always like a three-way, but the you didn't know the person was neither side. Yeah. And when we first got them, my god, the queue. The cue to use the glory hole. So we'd have three ladies who were well up for it. Sometimes more, we'd have to like tag them out, like you've had enough, come on, so let's somebody else have a go. But most of the time we'd have three ladies in the three glory holes, and there'd be guys, and we'd have a buddy there, and a buddy is like one of our helpers handing out condoms, cleaning the area, and all the rest to make sure it's all all good for use and make sure there's um no boisterousness going on and misbehaviour, and remind the guys to fluff themselves basically because you're up next.

SPEAKER_03 25:36

And also put a condom on.

SPEAKER_01 25:38

And put a condom on. Well, I did say hand out condoms, yeah. And um we did actually have a fluffer at one of the events as well, yeah. A certain guy offered to be a fluffer one day. I don't think that went down very well. Went down. Um, but yeah, we had a female fluffer at one point as well, yeah. No, not because they needed it, it was just like a little added extra. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and she's just like going down on guys, so they were all ready to go. They were primed as they were going up to the glory hole. Again, not something that we've done, but uh our pontus really, really enjoyed the glory hole, didn't they?

unknown 26:10

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 26:10

That's sort of where we're gonna go with all this. We're just gonna casually just come up with things like that. I've just we've just said the two glory holes there. We actually haven't got the female glory holes anymore. No, but um, I know that Brett, who runs Fucked with his partner V, he's actually built his own glory hole and it's a it's a mobile one. Mobile one, I think. So it can be put up and taken down. Really clever. Yeah, yeah. So if you go to Fucked, then you'll find glory holes there. I don't know if they're gonna be at every single event, just read the advert if you're not too sure. But if you fancy the idea of that sort of anonymity, you can go in the the one upstairs that I said uh earlier doors, which is the box with the holes in it for the guys, or you can go in the female glory hole. Right, yeah. So as you walk into the club for the first time, you come onto the reception area. You go through the front door, obviously, you get your ticket scanned, and you come to the reception. And the first person you meet is the manager on shift that night. And uh, I mean, after 15 years, you've had quite a lot of managers, haven't we? You know, some people that normally people will work on the bar first and then they get promoted, then don't they? Yeah, and they work up on the bar. And we've had some great managers over the years, and some of them have worked with us for years. Yeah um, Steve Ow, he was a manager not long after me, yeah, and he only left a year before last. So he was a manager for years, and you know, this is a guy who worked full-time, yeah, and every weekend he'd do at least one shift, sometimes too, and he'd be the honest to God regardless, he was absolutely brilliant, Steve Ow. But me, there's there's just too many to mention, but I wanted to bring uh Steve O up just because of the length of time he was with us, you know. And uh me and Steve started the shift on the on the same night together, yeah, and uh and we were trained by Joey, who's not with us anymore. Yeah, Joe. Yeah, so um, but yeah, he was with us for years, and it just goes to show that townhouse it isn't just a family for ever all the customers out there because a lot of our customers do see townhouse as coming home. They found a new family in Townhouse, and we will go on to that in a minute, but are on the on the staff side, it's been like a family, hasn't it, over the years?

SPEAKER_03 28:16

Yeah, yeah. You can't pick your family unfortunately.

SPEAKER_01 28:19

Well, that's that's the thing, isn't it? You can't pick your family.

SPEAKER_03 28:21

There's some great people.

SPEAKER_01 28:22

But you but you can but you can pick your friends, yeah. And the our friends at Townhouse have become family over the years, you know, even if been with us for two months, two years, twelve years, they've become family. And you know, without all the the guys that have been with us over the years, I mean I I'd say we have a lot of volunteers, obviously, don't we? All of our buddies and hosts and all that. Um, and some of them, some buddies have been with us for donkeys years, but it doesn't matter, you know, every single one of them has made Townhouse what it is because it takes an army, doesn't it, Jim? You know, to run townhouse. It does now, it does now, and you know that takes us back actually to when we very, very first started. I was there first, and then you joined not long after because you weren't well.

SPEAKER_05 29:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:03

And um when we very, very first started, there was five, and then you were the sixth to come on. Not going to say all the names, but I actually counted them out recently who they all were. And a couple of them are gonna be coming to our our do. And they are yeah, our leave and do, which is really nice. Uh, but there were six of us including you uh in the early days. And actually, you know, we did still get events with 120 people.

SPEAKER_02 29:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:27

And the bar was about half the size it is now, or would you say a little bit smaller?

SPEAKER_03 29:32

Well, we only had the triple fridge.

SPEAKER_01 29:34

So I'd say just over a third.

SPEAKER_03 29:36

So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:37

Something like that, the size it is now. It was narrower.

SPEAKER_03 29:40

Yeah, and it was an old fucking bootcase. It was an old bootcase. On top of a worktop, and people would bring their own drinks in.

SPEAKER_01 29:46

It was so shit, really. Don't forget, guys, you know, we inherited this club and everything that came with it. And you know, I I think setting up a swingers club, it's really, really expensive. If any of you are thinking about even considering considering out in a swingers club, please contact me because there's lots of things you need to know before you decide. And one of them is it costs a fortune. As soon as people know you're in the adult industry, there's six zeros and everything, don't they? And so you make make do with things or you recycle things, don't you, until you've got the money to access it.

SPEAKER_03 30:16

We've done three stages, yeah. Three full refurbs of every room, starting off with just liquor paint and then building a bar, and then doing a cellar dungeon out of a flooded old cellar, and then working our way up to every room. We've done every room three times to get it to where it is at the minute. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 30:36

And I think when you look at when you think back at how it used to look, and we've obviously got some old photos, it's come on leaps and bounds, really, hasn't it? Um I'm not in disregarding what you know the previous owner did. No, we work within his parameters of what he had at the time.

SPEAKER_03 30:50

He had enough money to do that job, and then we took it on.

SPEAKER_01 30:52

And then we did the same though. We had to work within our parameters, and back in the early days there wasn't a lot. No, no, you know, and if there was a lot of secondhand or do you remember we went up to Glasgow? Charity shops. Oh, charity shops. I was forever getting cushions, wasn't I, from charity shops? Because they get thieved. It gets put in the next. I bought four next cushions, it was from a car boot sale, admittedly. But they were new. One actually still had a tag on it, and I was like, why's why one got a tag and the other ones haven't? Because a set of four matching cushions, and they're beautiful. And you know if you don't know what next is in the UK, it's a clothing store, but it's also got home department, and the home department's very stylish, I think, and not cheap. No, so one cushion would set you back a shit one for 15 quid, a good one for 30 quid. Yeah, and say so. And this is a set of four, I'd say they probably would have been about 80 quid.

SPEAKER_05 31:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:39

I was made up, putting them out, they lasted one night, and some fucker stole them. Yeah, couldn't believe it. Yeah, not that we have a load of thieves in the club, we really, really don't. But obviously we did that nice. But some people are a bit light fingers. Yeah. You want a souvenir. Exactly, yeah. But yeah, we work within our parameters, we bought second hand and all that, and you know, good quality where we could, and you just save up, don't you?

SPEAKER_03 32:01

Yeah, the the Glasgow trip was brilliant.

SPEAKER_01 32:03

So we um we were looking for some new dungeon equipment, weren't we? Yeah, and um we we saw an adverse, a lady was advertising some stuff on Fet Life, and uh she was an old retiring dominatrix in Glasgow. So we got a van, took ourselves up there, didn't we? And she's a big, beautiful old Georgian house, didn't she? B high ceilings. And in one of her rooms, it was an apartment.

SPEAKER_03 32:25

It was an apartment, yeah. It wasn't a full the she didn't have the full house.

SPEAKER_01 32:28

No, it was a house, but she had an apartment in it. Yeah, so she was taking clients, beating them in this apartment with people all around her because she was in the middle of a terrace row as well, yeah, wasn't she? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And um we bought this big nine fuss nine by nine suspension cube, didn't we? With all sorts of things hanging off it. And I went in, I'm like, she's been beating clients in here the noise. Yeah, I mean maybe it was thick walls, I don't know, but even so, but she was lovely, wasn't she? We had a sit-down, we had a cup of tea with her, and we basically took everything apart from some odds and sods that we already had, I think. The only reason we didn't take them was because they would have been duplicates, and uh we got a few bits of it. She got some extras as well, and she was absolutely lovely, and she was made up, wasn't she, that it was all going to a good home. Yeah. But the one thing we did bring back with all of that stuff, because it was in her dungeon, was the gargoyle. Yeah. So this is a gargoyle that it looks like something that should be you know on top of an old building, an old gothic building. It was black, big wings on it, uh just like it's sitting.

SPEAKER_03 33:32

Wasn't it out of um out of fiberglass? Yeah. So there's no real weight in it.

SPEAKER_01 33:37

No, it's a like it's like a replica that you'd see on top of a building. And it's just sort of crouched as if it's crouched over a building looking black. And we had it in one of our dungeons for years, didn't we? And then we eventually decided to bring it down to the bar for I think it was a Halloween event. Yeah. And it never moved. We kept it on top of the bar ever since. And it doesn't look like it should be there, but it does almost.

SPEAKER_03 33:58

And then over COVID we painted it up.

SPEAKER_01 34:00

And then over COVID we got our friend to paint the wings in like rainbow, metallic rainbow colours, and she painted its nails in rainbow. Is it rain? Red. Yeah. Did she paint something else on it as well? It's lips, its lips and something else. But anyway, so the gargoyle became a gay goyle. It is a gay goal. And it's the best gay goyle ever. And we now see the gay goyle as like uh the gatekeeper of Townhouse. Yeah. Uh almost like like Ghostbusters, do you remember? The the gargoyles that came to life. Yeah. And there's the gatekeeper and the and the key master.

SPEAKER_03 34:33

Yeah. Rick Moranus.

SPEAKER_01 34:35

And Susan Saranda. No.

unknown 34:39

No!

SPEAKER_01 34:39

Alien lady. Sigorny Weaver. Sigorny Weaver, yeah, that's right. Yeah. Ooh, an invest in a dog tags. Not in that wrong movie. Anyway. So, the gay goal is now the the gatekeeper. Yeah. And Jim said recently, obviously there's some things that are our personal items in the club that we're going to be taking away with us. We've got some artwork and that. Um, but one of the things Jim wants to take was the gay goal. I mean, you can't take it. It it can't. It's almost like if you take the gay goal away from Townhouse, something bad's gonna happen. So it's got to stay, unfortunately. It's got to stay.

SPEAKER_03 35:14

I've already told Andy it doesn't go nowhere. It's got to stay where it is. It's staying where it is, but it's got icon back written all over it.

SPEAKER_00 35:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:22

So if he wants to get shut of it and he's gonna go to the street, it comes back.

SPEAKER_00 35:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:26

If it gets stolen, there's murders.

SPEAKER_01 35:28

Yeah, absolutely. Well, they'd have to get a fucking laughter to get it down. You fucking dropped the headcage, remember the headcage? Oh god. Another story. So we went to a and went to a charity shop in South Porth, didn't we?

SPEAKER_03 35:39

Yeah. And you know South Port's posh ish but old people.

SPEAKER_01 35:42

Yeah, it's like it's like older than me-ish. It's like God's waiting room.

unknown 35:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:46

Sorry for the put those young people who live in Southport, but you'll be old one day, you'll probably still be there. Anyway, so there's loads of little charity shops in South Post. Yeah. It's lovely actually, South Porth. I mean, if it wasn't, we wouldn't go for a day out there. Yeah. I mean, it was a day out round the charity shops, like, but yeah, you know, we'd have lunch there and have a little walk around. It's it's alright. But unfortunately, like a lot of seaside towns around the country, you know, it's it's sort of a bit run down. Now it needs the council to pull its finger off its fucking ass and spend some money on the place. It's got it's like it's got heritage there. It's got to do fuck all with it.

SPEAKER_03 36:18

It used to be really posh years ago. You couldn't you couldn't live in Southport because it was that expensive. Expensive, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:24

Um so anyway, we went to Southport on a charity shop day, which we often do. And um in the corner of this charity shop, amongst you know, all your regular clothes and brick or brack, your everyday items, was this ball, like a cage ball on a big thick chain hanging from the ceiling.

SPEAKER_03 36:42

It was like a um hang and basket. Yeah. So you put it on it.

SPEAKER_01 36:46

Do you not remember what it was? It was it held a candle. It had a big round thing in the middle of it with a spike to hold like a church candle in it, and the person who renovated it for us had to cut all of that out. That's right. Do you remember? Yeah, yeah, that's right. So actually what it was a ball, like a cage, and in the middle of it, you'd stick a big thick cathedral candle and then suspend it. So it's like a hanging candle thing. Yeah. But we saw this candle thing instantly as a headcage. Yeah. And so uh two halves of a shell. Two halves of a shell, like a clam. Yeah. And so you could bring it together and close it, lock it. So we were just like, it was always meant to be a headcage. So we brought it away, asked our friend who does um what are it called? Sheet metal working. Sheet metal working to to basically craft it, you know, change it into a headcage. And uh it was hanging in our dungeon for ages. I had loads of fun with that thing over the years, loads of fun. And then one day, I was like, Where's the headcage gone? Looked everywhere for it, asked the staff, and then I think it was Steve I actually said, I haven't seen a headcage for absolutely ages.

SPEAKER_05 37:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:55

The cleans at the time, I can't remember who it was. I was like, Have you seen a headcage in the in the dungeon? One of them knew what it was and said, I haven't seen it for ages. I was like, some absolute twat has stolen our fashioned headcage. Yeah. But I think what it is, it's like, you know, people that go on holiday and you know they steal dressing gowns and slippers and shit like that from hotels, peppers, salt and peppers and all that, yeah. I don't do that, by the way. But you know, I've heard people do, and I really don't, I don't steal things like that. And the reason I don't is because all these are businesses, and I know some of the hotel chains are fucking loaded, but at the end of the day, it's still a business that you've still got to pay out for these things. But clubs like ours, Townhouse, people just they think it must be a fucking money tree, but they don't see the overheads to run something like this. Yeah, so I think when they rob four cushions from next, for all intents and purposes, that cost us 80 quid because they didn't know they were secondhand from a carboot sale. Yeah, they just think, oh, they can afford it, townhouse. Oh, yeah. They don't think anything else of it, do they? But one of the things we had to do, I mean, do you know what? I'd say since COVID, I don't think anything has gone missing, actually. Yeah, anything. It almost seems like the whole crowd's changed, and I was saying as a crowd of tea leaves before, because things getting robbed was a rarity. You'd maybe once a year you'd go, fucking hell. The other thing went missing!

unknown 39:09

What?

SPEAKER_01 39:10

The other thing that went missing the fucking plug-in air fresheners. Do you remember?

unknown 39:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:15

I bought seven plug-ins with the things in them and I plugged them all around the club. Not that we've got a smelly club, but you know, just to keep the place you know nice and fresh and all that after you've cleaned. And I was going around, one run out. So I was like, oh shit, I haven't got a spur. So I went looking. I went into another room to get one out of the room and I went, the plug-in's gone. Went to another room, fucking plugins gone. There were three left out of seven. Some fucking bastard had gone round robbing the plug-ins. It was smelled lovely on the way out. And the other thing we had to do. To hide the smell of fish. It is, isn't it? Yeah. Well, speaking of hiding the smell of fish, we obviously supplied deodent as well. Not that you should should spray deodent on your fanny ladies, by the way. You'll get beaver your thrush. Um, but we've supplied deodorant, don't we, for for everybody to use. And they went missing occasionally. I'm like, it's like£1.52, what the fuck's wrong with you? So in the end, I was like, right, fuck you bastards. And I've got a sharpie out, didn't I? A marker. And I wrote, I wrote, I am a swinger all round it on the tins, and they never went missing after that. Because I'm thinking they they're taking them home or go in the gym with them. As soon as they pull it out, it says have a swinger on it.

unknown 40:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:27

So they never went missing after that. Yeah. Things we have to do.

SPEAKER_05 40:29

I know it.

SPEAKER_01 40:30

But we haven't had nothing like that for ages, have we? Nothing at all. And I'm not saying people's possessions don't go missing on nothing like that.

SPEAKER_03 40:36

Um There is no cushions around now so much, and there's no there's no whatchall it, what's the fluffy stuff that you're gonna have round, you know, black soft furnishing. Soft furnishing, yeah. Yeah. So there's no soft so there's no soft furnishing for anybody to nick anymore.

SPEAKER_01 40:49

But I don't know, people just don't do it anymore.

SPEAKER_03 40:51

It just seems to be so it's there's no there's nothing there for them to sort of that's nice. I think I'll have to have my house. Because it's all specifically sorted out now to be easy to clean. Yeah. No curtains, yeah. Except in the top floor.

SPEAKER_01 41:07

Oh fucking curtains. We got rid of curtains years ago because guys are wearing them as wank rags.

SPEAKER_03 41:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:13

They were they were polished on the bell end on the curtains after they'd shagged.

SPEAKER_03 41:17

After they shagged.

SPEAKER_01 41:18

Like, what is wrong with you? You wouldn't do it in your own home. So just going back to what I was saying before about people and businesses, you know, we were going back to hotels and robbing things and disrespecting stuff. It's almost like you go into a business, you've paid to go into that bus into that area, so I'll do what I want, basically. You know, and years ago we did have a little bit of that. And I'm not saying they were bad people, just like and you know what I think it was sometimes a little souvenir from townhouse.

SPEAKER_03 41:44

Yeah, possibly.

SPEAKER_01 41:45

I do I genuinely do. It's like, ooh, well if they especially not coming back ever again, they're visiting from out the area, yeah. Oh, take that from townhouse, and that'll be a little souvenir from our town at townhouse. Yeah. Because not once I'm thinking no. Not once over the years, 15 years as a customer, come and said, I've had something robbed.

SPEAKER_03 42:08

No.

SPEAKER_01 42:09

Nothing. I mean, obviously we have lockers.

SPEAKER_03 42:11

People saying that there's been stuff stolen, and then when they've when we've looked in the locker, they haven't looked in the right locker.

SPEAKER_01 42:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:17

So we've had shit like that. Or um I've lost something, it's gone missing, or they've found it in a taxi on the way home. Yeah, they've lost it the wallet, and the wallet's been in a taxi, or they've left it at home in the first place.

SPEAKER_01 42:28

Yeah, exactly. Not once there's actually some new something gone like that. So, you know, we haven't got a club of tea leaves like, but I do genuinely think it's just people like taking little fucking memorabilia. Yeah, take your fucking dirty condoms with you if that's the case. All right. Oh my god. So anyway, we we'd start off at reception, then must have went off on one. We hadn't even got past reception. I thought I thought about Steve, didn't I? But even the reception area um has changed quite a lot, but not rather than what it looks like. When I first started, as on my own, obviously you weren't there, there's another manager there, and then obviously the old owner, uh, who didn't really come in very often at that time. And um I got started to be trained up as a manager within a few months, really, because the manager at the time wanted to leave, he was desperate to leave, wasn't he? He had dreams of being a writer, and he's actually fulfilled those fucking dreams. Yeah, I mean, if you listen to this, mate, you know who you are, and I know where you're up to right now. I am absolutely delighted for you and the success, honestly. You've done really, really well. Anyway, but he had his sight set elsewhere, so I came in, looked like I'd a little bit about me.

SPEAKER_02 43:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:41

And I also had the this is a time if you like, because the other people that were there all had full time jobs and other commitments and all the rest of it. And um express an interest. So pretty much be just before you started, I think I was already starting to train as a manager, wasn't I? That's right, yeah. Um, and then I had been there very long. We had a little bit of a quietish night. And um I decided to tie it with the reception because I'm like, well, if I'm gonna be managing, I need to know where everything is. It was a bit of a mess, really. It was a database then, it was just It was all lever arch files of paper. Imagine that now with GDPR. Um and there's just like stuff everywhere, you know, and I I needed some organisation, so decided to tie to everything. Anyway, I think it was the day after I got a phone call from the then manager, because I was a trainee, and he said, uh, you've been fired. I went, What? He went, You've been fired. He went, um, the owner, not gonna say who he is, was not happy that you went in and rearranged all the reception. He went mad because he obviously he liked he knew where everything was, and he went in all of a sudden didn't know where anything was and went absolutely nuts. And that that's it, I'll fuck it off and all that. So I was sacked, and I was like, for tiesing up! Is that like the first time ever in history somebody's been sacked for ties in up? So anyway, it was only 36 hours, and I think um the manager must have been like, Well, look, you need to get her back because I'm off, I'm not hanging around, you've got no other options. If you don't get her back and she's really good, you'd be absolutely not a bed for not bringing her back. If you don't, then you're it because I'm going. That was his attitude. Because he was, he was going in his head, he was leaving.

SPEAKER_02 45:17

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:18

Because once I came in, he was already counting down the days. Yeah. He's like, I'm not staying, fuck off. So then he changed his mind. Then the owner went, All right, yeah, bring her back in, but tell her not to tie the air and up. And when I went back in, everything was back the way it was, he put everything back, and it was a mess. And you know, no disrespect to him, but he knew everything was, and that's how he liked it. But I had to work in that then for ages until I took over properly as the manager. And then we and I actually said to him, Well, look, there's a condition, you're not here working in all of this because now I'm gonna be doing it all. And if I've got to work here organising this, the first thing I want to organise is this reception. And he just has went, Yeah, that nice, yeah. Yeah, and he agreed, and I blitzed the fuck up. And and it was just it was so much better afterwards, but yeah, I think I was the first person in history to be sacked for cleaning up and then you started and and that was it. That was the start of our journey, then, wasn't it? As uh taking over the club, basically, and um we we took over, we we started out as owners unofficially to test the water, didn't we? Quite quick, yeah, really quite quick. Unofficially, so we're basically running the gaff, doing everything, basically, but not on paper, because all of us, including the elves owner, what they weren't too sure, none of us too sure could actually do this because it's fucking hard. Uh and then we decided to actually take it over properly uh a little while later, and our first party was Halloween, and I've said this before, uh the fire alarms went off because the DJ released a smoke machine and the fireman came in. Yeah, and the barman were a gay barman was fucking delighted. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:54

Because all the girls, firemen, firemen.

SPEAKER_01 46:56

Well, everybody, girls and guys, going firemen, firemen, and while in particular was pretty guttered to believe and I think. And um I remember thinking of all the nights for this to happen, it had to be our first night as owners.

SPEAKER_05 47:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:12

Because we obviously we've been managing before that. Um, but this was our launch party, we'd put it out there out there as our launch party, and the fucker fireman turned up. But actually it was a bonus, it was a bonus because then it became a talking point. Everybody was talking about it online and in the friendship circles, and we still talk about it now. Do you remember that night the fucking fireman came along? It was really, really funny. Um, but I don't think we've had the fireman in since during an event. No. But we have had the paramedics a few times. One was after a lady fell headfirst over the stairs.

SPEAKER_03 47:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:49

Claiming that she hadn't had an drink, but we found out not that long ago.

SPEAKER_03 47:54

Not that long ago. This happened years ago.

SPEAKER_01 47:56

This was about 13 years ago.

SPEAKER_03 47:59

And another person that I was talking to divulged that she'd actually divulged to him that she was highly medicated and then drinking sort of large wines, two or three large wines. So she was uh accident waiting to happen.

SPEAKER_01 48:15

It affected her more because of the meds that she was on, wasn't it? That's it. And she put her hand on the banister, apparently, and then her hand went over the side, and then she went over the side.

SPEAKER_03 48:24

No, she turned to look up at Ken. Oh, that's right. That's right, yeah. She turned to look up at Ken.

SPEAKER_01 48:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:29

And as she turned, he said something to her, she turned round, had the hand on the thingy, and then sort of slid halfway and then flipped over.

SPEAKER_01 48:35

That's right. Well, obviously, you don't know the layout of our club, but this happened obviously in the the hall area where the stairs are, and you have to like go, you know, sort of around and around to come to reception where I would be standing. And there's music everywhere, noise from customers, because there was obviously all the customers in, and I was on a reception. Is that on a Sunday as well, wasn't it? No. It was the overfift over 50s or something. No, it wasn't on a Sunday, it was a busy night. It was like a Friday or something like that. Was it? Yeah, I remember thinking it was about 80 people because I had to cord and off the area. But anyway, go come to that in a minute. So I was on reception, I heard BANG, and then someone go, Fick! I went leg and throat. I didn't know what I was what I was gonna see. I I just didn't know what the bang was. It was like was something falling, yeah, a speaker or something. I just didn't know what it was. Anyway, went round the corner and there's this woman on the floor, like motionless. I was like, oh fuck, oh fuck. Anyway, went over to her, obviously, medically trained, didn't try and move her. And she was sort of talking, a couple of people around her, and and she said, I can't move. And I was like, shit. Anyway, got somebody's found the ambulance. And where the hall is, there's an there's two rooms off it, the bar and the lounge with doorways. So they shut the doorways, but in the hall is the toilets, and I had people in the lounge, like, are they gonna be much longer? Because I'm dying for a piss. Yeah, I'm like, I can't, guys. I'm really just needing some privacy, not gonna be much longer. And then we have people that wanted to go home. Yeah, but yeah, we had to have walked through the hall to get to reception to book out. Yeah, it's like fucking hell. Anyway, they carted it off. I think she had some broken ribs, didn't she? I don't know what she had a bit of concussion, but she was alright in the end, and she joked about it later on. But on that night, I was like, oh my god, that poor woman.

SPEAKER_03 50:22

Well, yeah, I I I was a little less sympathetic. I sort of came out with the sign.

SPEAKER_01 50:30

You did, you did. You're right, so because Jim's Jim and he likes to make a joke out of things, when you knew she wasn't dead or she hadn't broken her neck, and we were the paramedics with her. I th no we didn't know. Just the paramedics just before the paramedics got there. Jim went through to the reception and got two A4 pieces of paper and wrote 9.8 and held it up like a slip, like a dive score.

SPEAKER_03 50:56

When she was lying on the floor so bad.

SPEAKER_01 51:01

But you know, oh my god. I mean, she was obviously out of it anyway. Yeah, but we found it funny. I thought it wasn't it. It's just dark humour, and that's the thing when you work somewhere like this, you've got to have dark humour, really. You've got to find someone more stressful, not so great things funny. It's like being a midwife almost really. I'm not saying the really bad things don't when we don't laugh about things like that. But you know, when you're like shit on your shoes and stuff like that, a woman's pushing and a little poop comes out, lands on your shoe. You've got and like that time when I was getting wheels out of a room on a bed with my ass in the air, yeah, my fingers up the lady's vagina because she had a cord prolas. I was pushing the baby's head back up to get into theatre. Yeah, my bum was in the air and a dress on, yeah. So God knows what they were seeing. Yeah. And as I was getting wheels out, I said, Does my bum look bigger than this? You've got to have dark humour. You've got to. Anyway, uh, I've been in a swingers club, you know, some of the things that we we've seen and heard and witnessed over the years. Um, you've got to laugh, haven't you? You know, at some of I don't mean some at the people, but some of the the scenarios people make up, yeah, some of the costumes they turn up in and they want to be laughed at, don't get me wrong, we know we're not laughing at them, we're laughing with them. Yeah, yeah. Some of the costumes, the most amazing fucking costumes over the years that people have turned up in, some have gone all out.

SPEAKER_03 52:25

Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 52:26

Yeah, yeah. Uh so you're laughing with them, not at them, you know, and you know, some of the situations they get themselves in and all that. It's just just so, so funny. One of the best costumes I remember. For those of you out there who've seen American Horror Story, we did a Halloween event and it was um fucking hell. It was actually an American horror story theme. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And people could dress up in any American horror story character, and somebody dressed up as Liz Taylor. That's right, yeah. Now, the character Liz Taylor is not Liz Taylor, obviously, that we know the glamorous, dark-haired, blue-eyed beauty. Liz Taylor in American Horror Story was actually a receptionist in the hotel series of American Horror Story and um was a trans female. I don't actually know whether Liz Taylor was a trans female or a cross dresser, I'm not too sure. Um, because looked very you know female in in her clothes and earrings, but didn't wear a wig. Yeah. So quite uh androgynous in that sense, but very glamorous female clothes. Bald, yeah, completely bald, blue eye shadow, uh red lipstick, big massive dangly earrings, and often more like floaty caftans looking fucking fabulous. Anyway, somebody turns up, didn't they, at the Halloween do? And had shaved their head. Normally had a full head of her. It was a guy, it was a guy who'd shaved his head, and I don't know whether he just knew he looked like the character. Yeah. But he walked in and went to fucking else Liz Taylor. I just knew. He looked just like the the person that played Liz Taylor, same clothes and everything, and he won. Yeah, he won the competition that year. It was a year-free entry into the club for that, and he was delighted, he was absolutely delighted with that. Um, but we've had some bloody great costumes, haven't we? And we've we've also worn some good costumes.

SPEAKER_03 54:25

I've won worn some. You you're the queen of costumes, really, when it comes down to So which ones have you worn?

SPEAKER_01 54:31

Us. I've made you do a couple of things all over the years. Fucking pumpkin. You're a pumpkin. I had really good makeup on you for that. You did. I think I've got there somewhere. I put it on Facebook, I think, yeah. When you allowed me to take photos of you.

SPEAKER_03 54:44

And the vampire one?

SPEAKER_01 54:46

Yeah, ooh, you you were like um like Nosverartu type thing. No, you're you were like uh Interview the Vampire type thing, the frilly shirts and all that, weren't you?

SPEAKER_03 54:55

Yeah, that was good. Um and the er and the priest's outfit.

SPEAKER_01 55:00

Yes, you were a priest. And that was really good, that outfit, because is it called a cassock?

SPEAKER_03 55:05

Underneath, yeah. Underneath. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:06

I had the cassock underneath. And so one day you took the priest outfit off and just left the black cassock on. Yeah. And you were uh thingy for the Matrix.

SPEAKER_03 55:16

Yeah, that's right, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:18

What's his name?

SPEAKER_03 55:18

Um Le er Neo.

SPEAKER_01 55:21

Neo, that's right, but you called yourself Neolithic because you were old.

SPEAKER_03 55:27

Neolithic. I'm Neolithic.

SPEAKER_01 55:31

God, I didn't know, I fancy Trinity. Yeah, oh Trinity was fit. Anyway, um so you're you were um Neolithic, you were a priest.

SPEAKER_03 55:42

We're not gonna We've done the gangster.

SPEAKER_01 55:44

Oh, the gangster was great. We have to we have talked about the gangster before when you held somebody up on the wall and frisk them. The gangster. But yeah, the full 1920s gangster and the Tommy gun with it.

SPEAKER_03 55:53

Yeah. Bore's kids gun and painted it.

SPEAKER_01 55:55

You did. And you've been in New Romantic a few times.

SPEAKER_03 55:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:59

There was once and you you were not amused, and I was like, you need guy liner, and you had you behind reception, and put guy liner on you and then put a little black heart on your cheek.

SPEAKER_05 56:08

That's right, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:09

I've got I have got a picture of that somewhere as well. Yeah. I found it recently. And uh on the same night I was basically myself when I was 14, yeah, because I was like full on goth, back combed, black hair, uh all like goth makeup. I basically wore an outfit from when I was younger. Yeah. Basically, I just looked like myself. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 56:29

My favourite one of yours was the Avatar. Yeah. I loved the Avatar one, but I also loved, which you were talking about before you went off tangent, yeah, was the American Horror Story and you you'd done your clown one.

SPEAKER_01 56:41

Oh yeah. So um again, if you've seen American Horror, I have mentioned this briefly before and I've shown the picture.

SPEAKER_03 56:47

Oh, have you? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:48

Yeah. But for those who haven't seen it, the American Horror Story Freak show, there was a clown character in there who would murder people. And the makeup on this guy was unreal. He had like prosthetics, and he had the most menacing smile, didn't he? It was just amazing. And I decided that I was going to replicate this thing. Couldn't speak, eat, couldn't do nothing. But um I did the American Horror Story clown, didn't I? That was really, really good. But Avatar, I could only put one contact lens in. Do you remember because I'd I'd had a funny eye? I'd be in the hospital with a funny eye. And so Avatar I've always got yellow eyes. Yeah. But I had to have one brown eye and one yellow eye. But I had the full avatar cat suit on. Yeah. All the blue makeup, full avatar makeup. I did myself because he was doing my own makeup back then, didn't I? Yeah, yeah. Long black wig, and there's one yellow eye. Yeah. And then uh I don't know what time of the night, the buzzer went on the door. Yeah, licensing. No, it was a police. Yeah, licensing. It wasn't it wasn't licensed, it was just a normal police. Oh, right. Yeah. But they had uh a question over capacity. Right, so the basically the story goes. There was another club in the area at the time who didn't like us very much. Yeah, not gonna say which one it was. The person run isn't there anymore, anyway. And there was always this fucking rival, it was just ridiculous. There's no need for rivalry in our in our industry, there's not enough of us, and now there isn't. All clubs get on, and it's fucking brilliant now, actually. I was literally talking to the uh owner of Alchemy the other day, I had a good old Natter.

SPEAKER_05 58:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 58:13

Yeah. And I was talking to Acasia not long ago. We had a great relationship with clubs now, but back in the day, there was one particular club that thought they were a rival, and um we had little odd reports every now and then trying to shit stir, and I know exactly where it came from. And there's one particular, and there'd been something going on online, and I said to you, I went, There's gonna be retaliation from this now, and it was nothing really, but this person took the ump. Next thing is the police knock on the door. We've got a complaint that you're overcapacity, and you can just see your door list.

SPEAKER_02 58:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 58:43

And it was two coppers in uniform, yeah, and I answered the door, a female one, and I answered the door forgetting because when you're in fancy dress all night, especially if it's something that doesn't feel too unusual, because I used to wear cat suits and that quite a lot, didn't I? Back in the day and all that. And I had my own long hair, so putting a wig on didn't feel any different. So I sort of forgot. You just get on with the night, you talk to you, booping people in, you know, organising everything. So you just forget. So the door buzzer went, I went round and opened the door because I saw the police at the door. Open the door, ah yeah, can I help ya? And both of them looked me in the eye and then just look me down and then look up again. And they went, Um, can we speak to the person in charge? And I went, yeah, that'll be me. And they looked, looked me up and down again. I went, Oh, right, okay. Um, it's a fancy dress night, it's a fantasy, fancy dress night. Uh and and I'm an avatar. And the girl just didn't look amused, she just had a like dead stoic face. And the girl, the guy looked at me as if to say, No fucking shit. So, how could it help you? I went, Oh, we've just got this issue at the capacity. I went, Yeah, no problem. And um, back in the day we did actually have door lists as well, didn't we? Everything's on computer now. And I said, Do you mind me asking who the complaint was from? No, we can't dive all the time. Oh, there you go, there's there's a door list. Uh and F th it was dead sound, but she didn't, she didn't uh soften. She didn't soften at all. She was not amused. I bounced to the door as an avatar and went, I don't think they're used to people being so accommodating to police, but we've always have been, haven't we? Yeah, yeah. Uh you know, let's talk about that a little bit because we're a club that hasn't had any trouble over the years. We've been, I'd like to say lucky, but actually we've just been safe, haven't we? We've created a safe environment for everybody, we've put systems in place to keep everybody safe. We have a great team that maintain all those systems, and we're careful about who we let in. Yeah. And we take our idea off everybody, more importantly, and now biometrics. So people generally don't misbehave because we've got the details, but also everyone's there to have a nice time. Yeah, and if if something did happen, they don't want to draw attention to themselves because they might not want people on the outside to know they've been there.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:57

Imagine that going to court and saying, Yeah, you were nicked in um a townhouse swinging club for blah de blah de blah and you're you're going to jail.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:05

Because it's always reported in the in the courts, and it's a nothing crime, maybe, but as soon as you say swingers club, it's something it's report, it's newsworthy. So people generally don't misbehave in in swingers' clubs, but they want to have a good night out anyway, and we we limit people's alcohol and stuff like that, don't we? Zero tolerance on drugs and blah blah blah. But we have had dealings with the police over the years, and actually, it's not because of what's happened in the club, it's because they've wanted our help for one thing or another. And we've had a lovely relationship, actually, with some of the police over the years. I'm not saying friends by any means, but they've been very respectful on the most part, haven't they? I mean, even the girl that came to the door that time, she wasn't horrible, she was just professional, yeah, and I was just being normal with her, and maybe she's just not used to people being like that, and she didn't know how to take me, maybe. Maybe she's new and didn't know how to handle herself in a spinning club. There's loads of reasons. The guy was great. But when we have had dealings with the police, it's often to can we uh view your outside CCTV, something's happened to another business or on the road, car accident, whatever, and we believe your CCTV's might have picked it up, dogs bollocks, I might have picked it up. And over the years we have we've helped them a lot, haven't we? With a neighbouring business uh across the way, and we thought we saw somebody trying to break in.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:21

Called the manager, went, We've got this place on CCTV, we wanted to call the police or whatever. We helped them with that. Um there was I I can't really say anything.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:31

Car accidents up the top of the road under the bridge, yeah, and the fella got off.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:35

Yeah. We had the camera.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:36

Then turned round and went back to see what he'd done.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:38

And we had him on the camera.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:39

We had him on camera. Um we actually that was a neighbour. Yeah, and there's a very serious crime which I'm not gonna say at all what it is. It wasn't that long ago. Somebody died. Yeah. Nothing to do with the club, it was another part of the whittle completely. But uh a car went down the street, and the fact that this car went down the street sort of blew this person's alibi out of the water. Yeah. And they asked to see our alibi our CCTV, and it helped with the investigation. It did. That's all we're gonna say about that. And also, we we caught somebody uh trying to well, they did actually steal our CCTV camera. So we we came in to work one's out. We noticed on the on the on the screen that one of our cameras was out. I went, hey Jim, one of our cameras is falsey. So I'm doing everything on the system to try and get it sorted, nothing. Jim goes outside, fucking cameras being robbed. Now, this is the the how high is it? Uh about 12 foot. About 12 foot. So it's not something you can just reach up to. And it's attached to the wall, obviously, the way CCTV cameras should be. It wasn't the top of the range, but it wasn't a terrible camera, because as we said before, police often asked us to use a CC TV. It was alright, you know. It wasn't a dome one that we've got now, but it was alright. Anyway, so right, somebody's robbed her. So we went on the CC TV and went on the recording, didn't they? And you saw these guys walking up up the Union Street, looking up at the camera, a bit dodgy. Then they came back with a ladder. Then we saw one of them go up the ladder, full face shot, yeah, while his mate was on the bottom of the ladder, full face shot. But we've got to go as one of the guys actually robbed the camera. As well as I'm looking at you right now, everything you could see what he had for fucking tea, but he had his mouth open. And he he stole the camera, and then he could see as he's fiddling, and then if there's a screen went out as he took the camera. So I don't know what he would have got for that second hands, because as I say, it wasn't top of the range.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:31

He couldn't have, he wouldn't have got nothing for it because it wouldn't work.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:34

We may as well just use it himself then, but it's just ridiculous.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:36

He took it, he took the camera not on the wiring, he took the yeah, he took the uh the camera, but not all the housing.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:42

So he only ended up with a bit of camera. Yeah. So you can't do fuck off with that. But he left us a great ladder, which we've still got now.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:49

Yeah, so thanks very much. But we called the police, didn't we? And they came and had a look and they said, Well, do you know what? I mean, it's a CC TV camera, the resources we've got to put into finding this guy, and I actually said, You'll probably recognise him.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:02

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:02

And the guy the guy didn't say, but you know, you're like, I think he knows who this is. Yeah, if he didn't want to know, it's just too much of a little crime, isn't it? Really, you know. But that was quite funny. I'm like, I've literally got this guy on camera. So we just got under the camera in the end, didn't we've got a cage around it now? Yeah. So uh that was quite funny. Um, but we've had we've had uh you know quite a lot of dealings, haven't we, the authorities and stuff over the years, and considering uh the discrimination we get from other outside businesses, the authorities, the ambulance service, the police, the fire brigade, they've always been amazing with us. Really great, actually.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:44

Because they know we run a good club and because it's safe, and because they know that we can help in any way that we can. We've had you know, we've had the mask in it for all sorts of stuff over the years, and because we've always helped them, you know, the more than if we do have to uh if the only occasion recently was a couple of years back where we've had to call him and that was once the guy was outside and they nicked him outside.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:07

Yeah that's right.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:08

You know what I mean? So you know people just kicking off when they get told you've got to leave because you've done something. They want to kick off then and that and that's it. So we phoned the police and and er he was outside just arguing the toss when the police turned up and they just took him away.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:24

Oh let's tell the why to yeah so he hadn't been in the club very long at all. Straight away we had our eyes on him he wouldn't take his cap off. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:32

And then he was in convoke her and I put a stop on him.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:36

Hang on. And we know pretty much for certain he'd been taking coke. He took something before he came in.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:42

So we kept our eye on him and uh we were like not too sure but I just think he's been taking coke. He's on his own keeping himself himself maybe a little bit lippy across the bar. Yeah. And then he went upstairs and and something happened right that he's he's been on drugs then let's get him out. So we're not going to talk about what out um what happened then he well we called the police we got him outside simple as that but it's just reiterating really that we knew he'd been taking drugs we what we thought we'd be taking drugs and then when we saw him upstairs we're like not taking a chance on this let's get him out get him out and that's what we did and he had been taking drugs so it was a good call and that's how how strict we are with it you know if we think somebody's been taken we we we obviously don't allow it on the premises it's zero tolerance with that but if we think somebody's been taken it before they came in we're like you can't always prove it but after half an hour you can normally tell and then we just get them out don't we? Yeah because anything like that it blurs their judgment they might push other people's boundaries but they also might push their own yeah you know and the same with alcohol isn't it you know we've said it before you've been drinking a little bit too much Dutch courage maybe or it might make you say yes to something that you wouldn't normally and so actually the zero tolerance we have on drugs especially is not just to protect the wider membership it's also to protect them. Imagine somebody being high on a BDSM nice and agreeing to being beaten fucking hell well outside the club say outside the club environment I'm sure it goes on. Well yeah it does you know and we know there's chem sex parties out there and that's another organisation actually that we've worked with we worked with Terence Higgins Trust and for those outside the UK Terrence Higgins Trust was set up a few decades ago um after the AIDS crisis and it was a charity um basically trailblazing information following the AIDS crisis and uh encouraging anybody really who engages in sex to use a condom and to get tested. Obviously it was targeted at gay men uh because of the AIDS crisis but they threw the net out to anybody basically because we know that AIDS can be spread to anybody. And it was a great great charity and they were absolutely pinnacle at that at that time and we worked with them didn't we in the early days and they used to do some testing for us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:50

And they used to supply our condom the most tests in the night.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:53

We did yeah until they closed I think yeah yeah they used to come along we used to offer free testing to our members who wanted it yeah and uh we used to give them a little private room didn't we to go and do the testing and yeah they'd uh they said we we actually did the most testing ever in that one night which is brilliant. Yeah the amount of people that were openly wanting to make sure that they were all right and all that was brilliant and they did on the night testing as well on the night test results brilliant new tests and we used to do fundraising for them in exchange didn't we had a really lovely relationship with Terrence Higgins and then that became Sahea House didn't it and we still work with Sahea House now. Yeah really really great charity it does lots and lots of things around sexual health yeah doesn't it there was a point where I was talking about talk about Terrence Higgins I can't remember what it was I don't know either. Charity work don't know don't know reception yes I don't think we're gonna get pretty much far from reception really are we? Okay so I mean we've been talking for quite a long time. Right. So I think the idea if we start the reception is it's actually naturally gone through the club really hasn't it you know um but I do want to talk a little bit about um the elevation room because it's been a little bit of a a passion project yeah for you. Yeah the elevation room before it was the elevation room was our hot tub area. Yeah and it was a hot tub area when we first took over and up until two and a half years ago. Yeah. And in its place we've now got this amazing uh nine by nine metre bamboo suspension frame haven't we and it's the only one of its kind around and people come and do suspension rope in there we do teaching in there we have events in there it can if it's a chill out cocktail lounge sometimes it's become this amazing multifunctional area that you basically near killed yourself over the stress over it and just putting it together was a nightmare wasn't it yeah it took a few but it's a really great room now it's become a firm favourite in the club it's got a suspended bed in there a bamboo bed suspended so you can actually shag on this suspended bed. Yes. It's got sex swings in there and seats. It's got normal swings but nice classy ones and nice mood lighter it's got its own toilet's own shower it's got a patio door out to the outside area where the the snack shack is and the smoking area and all that it's a lovely lovely area and you should be really proud of it. And it's funny because we said before we know you're like the architect because you come up with all the boss ideas and you expedite them as well and when you look around the club all the things that have happened around the club all the big projects have been your ideas and every fucking time you come up with an idea you're like I can do this do this Pinterest goes mad. You have so many Pinterest fucking files open it's unbelievable. You run all your ideas past me I don't understand half of them because they're in your head and then at the end of it all I go well fucking El Jim that's amazing and through the whole thing you moan. You're like nothing in this place ever goes straight forward everything always fucks up.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:52

This should have been a one week job it's saying it's a two month job and then at the end of it all you go it's worth it that look at that now it's great that isn't it I'm like fucking hell Jim all the moan you've done over that painting that fucking woods was enough fucking hell how many how many coats of white and then getting in between the gaps in between the boards because it was tongue and groove with a fucking little tiny brush and getting in it and then I've cut doing that for you and then doing the outside on every plank and the whole how how big's it probably 15 metres long fifteen metres by five metres across I think and it all needs a painting.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:31

It's uh it it just took forever didn't it tough you were coming home and I thought they'd given you the teddy to punch you're pulling your hair out with that place in the end but that's one of the many projects that you know you've you can look back on and or you have looked back on after it's finished and gone it's fucking great that it near killed me off. Yeah it near killed me off but it looks great and I think I don't think there's been one area in the club that you've renovated that's gone straight forward that you haven't stressed over because you want to be perfect. Yeah. I don't think there's one is there? No it's just a club. Yeah it's just the way it is it's an old building isn't it with a it's just and because you're trying to modernise an old area yeah you come across loads of problems don't you because it's just old problems that have been there and poor Jim you're perfectionist as well so everything's got to look right which is great but your own fucking disgust in the end just think outside the box with a lot of it because you do you start doing one thing and it goes wrong and then you've got to think how to get out of that and which you do brilliantly actually and that's the that's the that's what it's taught me for 15 years going on and I do know the club inside and out and every every nuke and cranny now don't I yeah yeah so but but it's it's it's been tumultuous we're we're an emotional fucking roller coaster where it comes to when you're doing something like that.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:50

But it is where when it's done and people appreciate it's great.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:53

But it's when people don't appreciate what you've done and then it's that and they ruin it or wreck it. Yeah. Just because there's no thought because they haven't had to pay for it. And that's what that's what sort of does my head in a bit where it's just you know you can spend like the medical chair we spent what three and a half grand, four grand on a medical chair signs all over it don't no heels we had four girls that went in on a photo shoot on the very first day and it had heel print heel punct punctures right through everything and you're like why the fuck am I doing this you know what I mean? So we've had to get that recovered in Kevlar which isn't cheap and easy it's not easy accessible and then pay to get it done to make it breakproof to a point.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:40

I mean it's mad isn't it that we've got to pay to have Kevlar fitted over a medical chair because of heels basically because people can't follow instructions. Yeah so you know it's not like people don't purposely go out and damage stuff but like going back to what we said earlier on and what you've just said now you know people come into a venue like that they don't see the blood sweat and tears that especially you've put into us you know the physical stuff in there's all you um they just say oh yeah great room oh this'll be great for a photo they get over excited because they're in this amazing place they don't always read the signs and before you know it there's a whole in the thing but I think what's annoyed you is they haven't come and told you and fest up.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:22

It had about half a dozen they just fucked off and I never ever seen them again after that. No exactly they're probably scared to come back. Well yeah it costs money then yeah and I'm like and the number of times things get damaged and people don't report them and you're going come on you know why what why wouldn't you just come and say oh yeah I've I've damaged you know we had a couple we had somebody put a stick on cock on the wall uh I think it was a a a lesbian gay couple I think and they put a stick on cock thing on the wall when they took it off took the plaster off but they come and reported it so we fixed it. Yeah but you know the if it wouldn't be anything at least they reported it. Yeah exactly the accidents happen.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:04

Accidents happen yeah and you don't don't get us wrong it's not like we want the place to stay perfect. It's a public venue at the end of the day with a very heavy footfall you know things are gonna get damaged and all the rest of it it's it's fine but just come and tell us you know if it has an accident or something's been damaged it's okay yeah just come and tell us so we know because then we can catch it and repair it before it becomes a big fucking job.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:28

Yeah do you remember the woman in the um right in the old on the old frame went in the jacuzzi area it's rigged up as a suspension frame where you can suspend a swing off it or ropes and then some mistress thought it'd be funny as a kid she thought she I think she thought she was a kid and regressed a bit and was turning around in circles and unscrewed the thing off the frame and it fell to the floor with a hit in it and then she said yours it's broke and I went no it's a swing it's not a fucking it's not a roundabout I wouldn't mind though that bolt and the thing it's long two and a half inches.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:04

So she'd been swizzing round like a kid on a swing long enough to unscrew a two inch that was screw that was tight that was tight yeah but with an eye bolt. You see that that's our point isn't it really I think it's like an adult playground. It is it is an adult playground in a way we're our own worst enemy because we say to people it's like Disneyland for adults it's a playground for adults and some people treat it like a playground. On that note Jim's saying he wants a pee and you know what we've probably finished anyway so we've been we've been chatting for ages and I and now you've said pee I need to go myself I'll hang on so anyway let's move away from um you know as all playgrounds and holes in medical chairs and shit like that some fun stuff do you know what there's been there's been some really really great great fun times over the years and somebody said to me if you had your time again would you still run a swingers club and they also said would you still be a dominatrix and oh I had to think really really hard I'd probably still be a dominatrix to be honest with you that's just been great. I don't think I'd if I went back knowing what I know now I'd probably still be a dominatrix. Yeah knowing what I know now about the Azul's industry no probably not not because I haven't enjoyed running the club it's just because it's it's been a other people make it a bit hard don't they but I don't regret a minute I don't regret it. And do you know what even now I have been a bit stressed lately I've never been a bit stressed lately. But even through all of that I don't I don't regret it and I don't regret it because some of the people that we've met and some of the parties that we've thrown over the years we've thrown some fucking doozies over the years really good and I said before there was this sort of golden age I mean not to say it's not that now the club's great now and but when we were golden age for us for us yeah when we were more active on the scene as well and a lot of our friends came to the club yeah that was our golden age and when people go to the club now this is their golden age yeah exactly our golden age it was like one long Saturday night and it was knackerin yeah we were there day and night because sometimes we'd stay over we'd have events the next day we'd be doing buffets we'd be decorating the place basically what a a big team does now we did with the health Richard and some of the staff yeah and our staff was quite small so you know it was very very very involved we were always there and we were knackered and sometimes we didn't see the kids very much thankfully they were teenagers and didn't really want to see us either yeah which is good but despite all of that I did love it and I have got some really great memories especially from that time you know the nights with our friends the you know sometimes you'd walk from the bar into the lounge and you know there'd be a DJ or something and all the usual loss. You all know who you are um they would be on the dance floor in the skimpies just smiling and living the best lives and I'd sometimes stand by the door and just look back and look around the room at all of our mates just having the best time you're like it's just great this we've yeah we we've we've done some really good positive things.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:24

We have we have I've done I've done three jobs I was a a drayman for 14 years electrician for 12 and then I've done this since and I've had as much fun doing this as I did doing the dre doing the Dre which was my other favourite job but we had the fun element as well so there was two of us on the wagon and we bounced off each other and we had a we had a ball working on the Dre and it's the same with me and Vicky when we've been in the club the work's been in there you've had to do the job but we've had a laugh doing it and some it's outside influences that sometimes spoil it for you but unfortunately you can't do away with outside influences they're always going to be there and you just adjust you you you take it on the chin or you or you put things in place so it doesn't happen again and you move on and that's what we've done and we and and that's um that's how we've we've developed such a a good club because the first things that we done when we didn't have no money was it was clean friendly safe and that's still the rules now. If we can make it clean friendly and safe then every and and that's that's the ethos of the club and the fun side of it now is different to us but it's for that group of people now it's they're having the fun that we were having in their way. Yeah and we did we had a ball.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:39

We did have a ball it was really brilliant and um obviously we're not in the club much now but when when the club's not ours I do intent I am going to go to Fat nights and stuff might go to the old gale nights as well. But yeah I we we did have some great times and when I look at the our team now and the discussions they have in our work groups yeah they also have outstanding nights the way we used to do so I'm not saying you know the the golden age is gone it's not it was just great for us and now our team are having the best time honestly literally a conversation recently and um everyone just eologised now if this night were the fucking best nights and this was that round and that was that I just see them doing this and that was brilliant and you look great the buzz and I was like oh do you know what townhouse hasn't lost it it really hasn't no townhouse has evolved actually with the scene we've always been we tried to be trailblazers tried to keep one step ahead because the cheat the scene evolves I'd say every six months I'd say so yeah um yeah people move round swingers especially uh are transient not I mean in a bad way they like to experiment and try different clubs and so our swing and contingency if you like refreshes every six months but then you have all your diehards who who keep coming back but with the new wave comes new ideas new needs new wants they've been to other clubs and they've had these experiences and they're always evolving us and then other team members who've had their own experiences who bring their own ideas because some of them go on to become hosts. Yeah so it's always evolving it's always changing and we've always tried to do that stay one step ahead if a problem comes to us and we're not too sure I always go right team type lateral thinking let's think sideways we can't move forward on this let's think of a different way to move forward and all the fucking obstacles that have been thrown at us over the years it's always been that movement that's always kept us one step ahead and it's still one step ahead now. The team that we've got now they're just as passionate as all of us a lot years ago. That's it and um I'm just delighted that Ashley Townhouse is 21 years next month. Yeah 21 years and it's still it's still one of the best and it's still talked about and uh I'm really really proud that both of us have been a major part of that for so long. Oh yeah totally 15 years to be part of I'm getting a bit teary can you see my eyes glass anywhere just because you need it away no I am actually getting a bit teary I'm just gonna yeah I'm just gonna I'm getting a little bit choked up there you go I've got my own crack this oh that's disgusting Jimmy's giving me his handkerchief it's stop it it's disgusting oh I am I'm getting a little bit a little bit teary but uh I am I'm dead proud that you know townhouse is still here it's still amazing and we were there for a chunk of that yeah and actually we're we're leaving a legacy and I don't want that to sound big headed because I'm not I haven't really I haven't got an ego and one thing I haven't got is an ego we're leaving a legacy because before townhouse there wasn't a venue in our area really that serviced the LGBTQ plus community we were the first to I think we were the one of the first across the country to become all incl all inclusive yeah for everybody for everybody basically a lot of clubs back in the day were just heads yeah yeah a lot of the clubs across the country were just fet just swinging or just um LGBT yeah then we were kink and swing and others started doing the same thing and when we took over it wasn't LGBT at all at all and I was like this is fucking changing and it was the best thing we ever did. Yeah when we opened the doors to the LGBTQ plus community it literally just changed townhouse fundamentally it did really um best thing we ever did and don't get me wrong it's not a gay club it really isn't what we've now got is a melt and pass of all different types of people different different sexualities genders cultures beliefs sources of different things all under one roof with the same common goal is have a fucking good night out and all of our LGBTQ plus community feel absolutely safe our swingers feel able to experiment in front of all these people who are not going to judge them all of our fetishists are able to grow in the DS role whatever it is that they're doing in safety knowing that all the other people who are into it are going to be cool with it. We've now got a club where everyone just accepts what everybody does and it's all okay. Yeah and I'm really really really proud of that and I'm I'm proud that we're leaving this now for the community it's been hard it's broke us once or twice over the years it has financially and mentally a few times and the the thing that's kept us going is all the people out there because they need it and and we've needed them at some point as well especially around COVID and so I'm really pleased that we can leave this now for the community and it can go on and keep servicing the community and it can evolve with the community as it always has done as well because the team that we've got now are like us they will evolve with the club too so I'm I'm I'm sort of sad but I'm actually more happy that we we're at the time now that we we want to stop we need to stop it's the right thing to stop and we're leaving this amazing thing that we've both achieved as a couple yeah a married couple between us I I mean I'm really proud so thank you love and you don't thank you we did we did a good thing and um and we can walk away with our heads held high and uh go metal detecting garden. So on the mass uh townhouse bombshell we're gonna leave it there and uh next time we'll uh have one of our other hosts and I'm not too sure which one's gonna be yes uh for episode 130 but for now um I'm just gonna give the mass the room and space that it deserves and thank you townhouse and everybody for the amazing memories the laughs the friendship It has been an honour and a privilege serving you all. And so if you are binge listening, put the kettle on. We'll see you in five. If not, we'll see you next week. It's right. True! And there we have it! Another day made better by listening to the creators of chaos. Thanks for dropping by, and if you enjoyed the show, we'd really appreciate you sharing your love the Pad the Cell podcast with your friends. Don't forget to give us a follow on our socials, maybe leave us some five-star reviews, and feel free to send us an email to Magic at the Padastellpodcast.co.uk or even interrupt us on Facebook because we love chatting to you. Be sure to stop by next week because, as Bowie says, I don't know where I'm going next, but I promise it won't be boring. Catch you soon.