EPISODE 131 - 'Aroused by fear' The Padded Cell Podcast

You've GOT to watch this one rather than listen! However, if you're an audio only fan, then this is your audio fix. 
Vicky is back with Barry and the banter flows, the facts are flying and you even get a tune from Vic! There's so much packed into this episode, we hardly take a breath. There's a world first, a public outrage, a deadly flight, a massacre, the aftermath of a disaster, an embarrassing Lady Lobotomy and a Fetish Factoid which taps into the psyche.  

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Recorded and Produced by Vicky at The Padded Cell Studios

Ep 1 - 120 recorded at: 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Are you deviant? You know, like those of us who binge watch too killer programs or stupid stuff people do unravel in anything at all. Well, you found your people! Join us as we crack open the door to Puffet Cell and release the insanely stupid, weirdly wonderful, and those who choose to live outside the size or not. We've developed the strange number that's sexy on the range! So if you're a deviant, then you have your place in the puppet cell. You know, you're just a bit like, I feel like being a proper cult today.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

Yeah, I don't even feel like being a gunt, I just think it's just coming quick.

SPEAKER_03 0:50

Right, we're all on. That's on, that's on, that's on, that's on, that's on. Are you switched down?

SPEAKER_00 0:55

No, but yeah, I'm here, I'm on.

SPEAKER_03 0:57

Right then, let's go. Woohoo! Hi! Hello and welcome to episode 131 of the Pazatel Podcast.

unknown 1:03

Hi.

SPEAKER_03 1:03

I'm putting it with Baz again. He's looking a bit terrified because we're on camera and um you're gonna forget about it soon, you'll be absolutely fine. But for now, you're a bit aware.

SPEAKER_00 1:13

I'm very aware. It's hard not to be aware.

SPEAKER_03 1:15

You haven't got to keep looking at you, just look at me, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:17

If you But when they weren't there, you kept fucking looking at them.

SPEAKER_03 1:20

I think it's because I look into the distance when I'm thinking.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

I'm then. But I can't look up because it's fucking blinding.

SPEAKER_03 1:27

Got to be lights beaming down on you. It's not like you can like forget we're in a studio just chatting between ourselves, microphone, lights, bang, bang, bang, camera.

SPEAKER_00 1:37

Very different even from the room.

SPEAKER_03 1:38

It is, it is. But anyway, we're back, we're on camera. Hopefully, all the lights are on, so hopefully we'll stay on. It's still all a bit trial and error for me. I'm still learning.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

That's good.

SPEAKER_03 1:48

I mean, it looks alright though, doesn't it? It looks like I know what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_00 1:50

Yeah, you you can wing it.

SPEAKER_03 1:52

Yeah. Well, I have been winging it.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

You've even got little clamps and everything, which they always do look professional.

SPEAKER_03 1:56

They do. I mean, I'm only using one out of the three. But I mean, what we're doing at the moment is every episode I'm gonna go on camera, see what happens, and if it comes out alright, I sound like I'm developing film from year old you does. If it comes out okay, uh then it'll go out. If it's not so grace, it'll still I'll still use it as reels. If it's completely shit for whatever reason, it's just audio.

SPEAKER_00 2:19

Sound, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:19

But I'm not gonna be able to get better unless I do it.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

No. Get over the street. And I'm not gonna get used to that thing. Me looking at me.

SPEAKER_03 2:27

Well, just don't look at you.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

I'm trying not to.

SPEAKER_03 2:30

I just forget, you know. I also there's the fact that my eyesight is a little bit shit. And I can't I know that the screens are on because I can see them. And there's there's people can't really see the detail. What is discombobulating them? Oh, a big word. There's something different that our deviants will notice. Well, there's two things different today, actually. Three.

SPEAKER_00 2:51

Three. Have I already noticed one of them?

SPEAKER_03 2:54

Um yeah, on the way in, you went like your t-shirt.

SPEAKER_00 2:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:58

So the deviants will notice that I'm wearing a white t-shirt today for a change. Yeah, which could really fuck up my light. But we'll see. I've put it on on purpose because if people come in on that seat with a white top on, I need to know what to do.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

Yeah, and I normally wear white. In fact, even under this, got your belly, it's white.

SPEAKER_03 3:16

Hey, you've got a brown belly, haven't you?

SPEAKER_00 3:17

Yeah, I have a little holidays on the sunbed, don't I?

SPEAKER_03 3:20

Oh, of course. Yeah, Costa Dell sunbed.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

I go for a little 15-minute holiday every week.

SPEAKER_03 3:24

Yeah. Uh John's been on the sunbed as well. I noticed recently. Anyway, we're talking about people that you don't even know. So this is different. Also, you won't necessarily know, but all the people out there have missed the fact that normally when we're on a on the desk in the other studio, we have desk shit.

SPEAKER_01 3:40

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 3:41

It's not really shit. I it's it's beautiful stuff, but I just call it desk shit. Um, and they all mean something. So obviously, I've got my BDSM stuff here, me stuffed mouse. Have you seen the mouse before?

SPEAKER_00 3:53

I have seen the mouse before.

SPEAKER_03 3:54

The taxidermy dominatrix mouse. Obviously, Bag Puss is my all-time favourite cartoon character. And people have crocheted these things.

SPEAKER_01 4:01

My positive poo, are they?

SPEAKER_03 4:02

My positive poo, uh, I don't know what they actually crocheted that, that was a gift. Then I've got the avocado, that was crocheted for me, and the um Mothman.

unknown 4:12

Mothman.

SPEAKER_03 4:12

Do you know who Mothman is? Right, so Barry Mothman isn't a deviant, yes, because he doesn't know what the Mothman is. So he's a obviously an urban myth. And he's supposed to turn up in times of tragedy. He's like the harbinger of doom. So um there's been times when people have been like um bridges collapsing and stuff, and they reckon they've seen Mothman. Oh yeah, I think it's just could be the Grim Reaper. So he's like Deputy Death? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 4:40

Death comes when you've carked it, he turns up when you've just got a little bit close, traumatised for life, but you didn't quite.

SPEAKER_03 4:45

No, he's there just in case, just in case somebody happens to like he's the only one with death mobile number. We've got one over. What are we gonna do? He's not supposed to be common today. But I I think he's like the grim reaper. I think people have seen something, and they've it's like a grim reaper type thing. But Mothman is like an urban myth, and I've got a Mothman t-shirt and all that. So go away, look into Mothman, and then come back and tell me what you know.

SPEAKER_00 5:13

And the avocado. I just like the avocado.

SPEAKER_03 5:15

The avocado, obviously, it's got it's like a ball gag. See?

SPEAKER_00 5:19

Do you get it? I do, yes, I do.

SPEAKER_03 5:20

I know you're not into BDSM, but you get it. Good. Right, so we're gonna crack on.

SPEAKER_00 5:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:27

Only because I know you said you've got the kids covered, but just in case something something happens with the little bastard uh the little darlings, um, we don't want to keep you going for two hours, do we? Come on.

unknown 5:38

Oh, it's gonna make me come.

SPEAKER_03 5:44

It's gonna make you splurge. Was that a com noise?

SPEAKER_02 5:49

Oh, is that it? Is that is that the the extent of your climax?

SPEAKER_00 5:53

I'm on camera, behave.

SPEAKER_03 5:57

I don't know. That's all I could go because he needs to do this.

SPEAKER_00 5:59

It's like a tradition. Aye. It's been a few times now.

SPEAKER_03 6:06

It's giving me time for drink me too. So now you've all enjoyed Barry um pouring his cat coffee from the cafeteria. We're going to do some on this days.

unknown 6:17

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

I like these. 23rd of April, this is gonna go out. See, I was trying to box clever and have a little Google to see about today, and then I'm as I'm rooking and went, oh fuck, she doesn't do it on the day we record. I'm not sure when that is.

SPEAKER_03 6:30

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. If the day that it should be going out is a bit of a shit day for on this day's, then it's then I'll do it for the recording day. But today, 23rd of April, this is going out. And it would have been my nan's birthday. Oh. How old would she have been? 95, maybe, something like that. Should have been cracking on like um and it's also St George's Day.

SPEAKER_00 6:52

It is St George's Day.

SPEAKER_03 6:54

Why are you doing that?

SPEAKER_00 6:55

Because it's also somebody else's birthday.

SPEAKER_03 6:58

Oh, it is. I'm not even gonna say happy birthday, and I know that's really really cruel, but I'm not gonna say anti-birthday to you. So we're not gonna go into any detail of why we're reacting in the way that we are. We're just gonna move on. So, what happens on the 23rd of April? I'm gonna do a couple of like quick fire ones.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

Cool.

SPEAKER_03 7:22

And then I'm gonna do some like just slightly longer ones. Because I thought the quick fire ones were quite quirky. I wanted to get them in, yeah, but I didn't want to waste time on them. That's fine. So, do you know? So, not the muffin man, yes. Not the muffin man, not somebody else.

SPEAKER_00 7:35

That wasn't a full do you know, that was a quick do you know?

SPEAKER_03 7:38

I don't want to do it because you'll be in yeah. Because it'll send my brain. It will, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, do you know? Do you know? Do you know? When the first person uh posted a video on the uh on YouTube on the tube of you.

SPEAKER_00 7:54

Shit, do you know what? I have seen it because it's a really shit video.

SPEAKER_03 7:58

It is, I've got to remember what it is.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

No, and it's something so shit, it's like something just moving or something crappy.

SPEAKER_03 8:07

Okay, it's 19 seconds long.

SPEAKER_00 8:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:10

The guy who filmed it uh was called Joward Kareem.

SPEAKER_00 8:15

No, I wouldn't have got that.

SPEAKER_03 8:16

And he did it in the San Diego Zoo. Ring any bells, no?

SPEAKER_00 8:21

I've seen it because I've got to get it. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 8:23

So the first video to be released on on YouTube was a video of elephants in San Diego Zoo. And Joward basically says that elephants have got really, really long trunks, and that's it. That's it. 19 seconds of that. No production, no nothing, no title like and describe the way you have now on YouTube. Just 19 seconds of elephants in San Diego Zoo with the other guy next to them. That's it. However, that little tiny moment, it just went a bit nuts.

SPEAKER_00 8:57

Well, I could be very wrong. I'm sure these people correct me, but I'm pretty sure it literally started as a file sharing service because back then you couldn't I couldn't WhatsApp you a video. That technology didn't exist. So you'd upload them, there was like flicker.

SPEAKER_02 9:10

Oh god, it took forever.

SPEAKER_00 9:11

Yeah, and there was MSN, you could have a f you could have a shared folder, yeah, and that's where people shared videos. It was a way to send your old camcorder clips that you spend four weeks downloading to get 20 seconds to your family and stuff, and that's how it started. So that 19 seconds probably took them about three weeks to actually download.

SPEAKER_03 9:28

Well, probably was it done, it probably was a done, yeah. Um but look what we've got now, and he actually became um the the co-founder of YouTube, so you know he's probably a very, very, very loaded man now. Um but yeah, that was the very first video on YouTube in 2005.

SPEAKER_00 9:47

And that was on 23rd.

SPEAKER_03 9:49

23rd of April 2005, the day YouTube was basically launched.

unknown 9:53

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 9:53

It was a long time ago, but no long time ago. When you think it's 21 years, which is scary, but look what how how technology and the internet and all these platforms have come on in 21 years, man. What's what are they gonna be doing in 21 years' time?

SPEAKER_00 10:07

Don't want to know.

SPEAKER_03 10:08

It's nuts.

SPEAKER_00 10:09

So I do want to know, and I want a piece of it, so I want to try and find out I can tap into it now.

SPEAKER_03 10:15

They'd like back to the future, so going to the future. Getting an almanac and then coming back and making loads of money.

unknown 10:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:22

So 1985, 23rd of April. Were you born?

SPEAKER_00 10:26

I was born, five years old.

SPEAKER_03 10:27

Okay, so you're five years younger than me. Um so Coca-Cola.

unknown 10:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:34

You know Coca-Cola?

SPEAKER_00 10:35

No, I've never heard of it.

SPEAKER_03 10:36

Do you remember when Coca-Cola decided to change their recipe? You won't remember being a five-year-old, but do you remember the story around?

SPEAKER_00 10:45

It literally had coke in it, didn't it?

SPEAKER_03 10:46

No, that's really old. So, yes, it did. Yes, it did. So, years and years and years ago, when it very first came out, it had a small amount of coke. I've actually done that in the podcast before, but then obviously cocaine was was removed. Um and it was freely available, but you can buy it anywhere, you didn't have to buy it from a chemist or nothing like that.

SPEAKER_00 11:06

Diet of Coke coming out.

SPEAKER_03 11:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:08

Because you couldn't get Diet Coke at one point. I remember that coming out.

SPEAKER_03 11:11

Yeah, I was probably about 12 when that came out. I remember doing my paper round and I used to drink Coke, like new is business. And I tried Diet Coke and I wasn't impressed.

SPEAKER_00 11:22

I never I don't think I think I was impressed from the offer, I've never liked full fac coke.

SPEAKER_03 11:26

I liked Pepsi more.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

I think I did. Pepsi had a cooler advertising slogan.

SPEAKER_03 11:31

It did, it just does taste nicer. Uh the diet Pepsi is rank. Pepsi Max is even ranker, but normal Pepsi is nice. So, why did they change the the taste? So the cocaine had been removed years ago. Yeah, and then the recipe that we all knew and loved was developed. But in 1985, apparently Pepsi was winning taste tests. Remember the Pepsi Challenge and all? I can do the Pepsi Challenge. There is a scene. There is. I've watched a documentary. And do you know what? I could have actually done a longer thing on it, but is it interesting enough to paddle cell? Probably not. The excerpts are fine. So when Pepsi were winning the taste test, Coke decides to change the formula. But people lost their minds, like lost their minds. It wasn't like you know, um miles annoyance, or like now you might just go on Facebook and take a picture of the can and go, they change the fucking taste. There was proper outrage, emotional outrage. People were going nuts, people were phoning in, they were writing in, don't forget you couldn't just email back then. Letters were pouring into Coca-Cola and the representatives. Um and uh these um these new cans were just stockpiling. People were like, no, I don't want it. And so the shops were starting to get on board to say, well, we're not selling this shit. And very, very, very quickly, Coke realised that they'd made a massive mistake by changing the recipe. So even though they weren't wearing the taste test with Pepsi, excuse me, people still loved the original taste. Why change the taste? Doesn't mean that we prefer Pepsi all the time. It might be that on that particular day, Pepsi was better, a bit colder, whatever. Anyway, um, people were saying things like um it felt like it was part of the childhood of being taken away because they were like growing up on like coke and the adverts and the coke bottles, the glass bottles and all that.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

Coke out of a glass bottle tastes so much nicer than it does out of a glass bottle.

SPEAKER_03 13:26

It does. Now we actually sold um coke in glass bottles for years in the club. Uh it cost us a little bit more, but people loved it. They loved having the straw in the bottle, but it took up too much room in the fridge.

SPEAKER_01 13:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:37

So we stopped doing it, and also they got dropped quite a lot, obviously. Glass around the club. Yeah, no, no, no. Not great. Yeah. So um the outrage was so huge that Coke realised shit. We're not selling any because the shops are stockpiling them. We're getting complaints left, right, and centre. Pepsi really gonna be soaring through the ratings now. We'd best change it back. I think it lasted 79 days and they withdrew it all. Imagine how much that cost them. That is a massive faux pas on the on the side of Pep of um side of Coke that. Pepsi must have been like that.

SPEAKER_00 14:07

They'd have been loving it.

SPEAKER_03 14:08

I'm loving it.

SPEAKER_00 14:10

That's macis. I know, yeah, but you know. Yeah, the water pin.

SPEAKER_03 14:14

Yeah. Yeah. Um so I can still do the Pepsi challenge now. I even though I don't really drink or don't drink coca at all, but I definitely still cause. I just I can still taste Pepsi. I loved it. I don't even like um the Coke and that on the drafty, the little squirty things, the syrup, it's fucking horrible. Anyway, so Coke. We've done that. We haven't done Coke. Dunk Coke. We do, we haven't done Coke. I haven't mum.

SPEAKER_00 14:41

Honest.

SPEAKER_03 14:42

I haven't mum, though. So the other little quick fact for today my nan and the other person who will not be named shares a birthday with somebody really, really fucking famous. And I'm surprised that you haven't been told this at some point by the person who will not be named. This person was born and died on the same day.

SPEAKER_00 15:04

Oh, that's clever. Do you know what?

SPEAKER_03 15:06

I'd quite like that.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

Is that bad? No, it's like you're done, you're finished on a round number. Whatever, even doesn't matter about the age, but yeah, if you take it by the calendar year, you haven't got halfway through or partly through another year.

SPEAKER_03 15:19

I did a thing very, very, very early on. I think it was like fucking episode six or something. One three one, now it's enough. Episode six. And I did I did look at the research, and it was something like you were 22% more likely to die on your birthday than any other day.

SPEAKER_00 15:35

That's because you hung over or pissed as well.

SPEAKER_03 15:37

And you're also when you're pissed, you do risky things, you do silly things, you might uh eat something that you're not used to and you know have a house attack or whatever. Uh or maybe ex um do like activities that you wouldn't normally do, like you know, yeah, adventurous type type stuff. Um, and I was like, uh surely not. But when they did the same research for the day before and the day after, the number dropped dramatically. People obviously still did die more often because around the birthday, but not as high as that. I think it was 22%. Wow. So the person who but was well said to have been born and died on the same day.

SPEAKER_00 16:13

Well, it was a block over that day.

SPEAKER_03 16:17

The bard himself, William Shakespeare. Was he? Oh wow. So, I mean, we can't prove it categorically, but you know, if you look into the record, his grave and all the rest of it, 23rd of April and died. Yeah. And because of this, the 23rd of uh April is widely known across the world as Talk Like Shakespeare Day.

SPEAKER_00 16:38

Could you imagine that?

SPEAKER_03 16:42

Oh, the lady dot doth protesteth too much.

SPEAKER_02 16:45

You fucking cranky.

unknown 16:51

Hello, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:53

We should do that.

SPEAKER_03 16:54

We should do. Good morrow, Fur Baker. Dost thou still have a cob? Where for a crusty cob. I'm not very good at it, so what can I do it? Um, and also you know that there's loads and loads of phrases that come from Shakespeare. Yeah. Do you know much of Shakespeare? This isn't like a test.

SPEAKER_00 17:12

No. I know a bit. You know my oldest lad, he's posh little shit, and he fucking he loves it.

SPEAKER_03 17:17

Does he love all I do?

SPEAKER_00 17:19

Yeah, he's so articulate.

SPEAKER_03 17:20

Yeah, and and you know what? There's actually quite a lot of comedy in that in Shakespeare. And once you actually get past the language, it's actually quite funny. And if you go and watch a s a stage show, a play, a Shakespeare play, the way it's uh acted, you don't necessarily need to understand all the words because Shakespearean actors are really, really good at using their boss and the hands and their face and all that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

So it fills in the gaps.

SPEAKER_03 17:45

So it fills in the gaps of what you don't, you know, the dosts and thus and all that kind of thing. But I did it A-level English literature and I fucking loved it. I did actually GCSE as well. Um then when I did my uh I went on to do art in college and I did like an art um project which also sat hand in hand with Shakespeare and loved Shakespeare.

SPEAKER_00 18:03

I know like the ones off like Monty Python. Yeah, well that's what most people know, and that's alright.

SPEAKER_03 18:09

Yeah, it's not for everybody, and you know, why would it be? Um but I just happen to really like them. But there's a few phrases that have come from Shakespeare, break the ice is one of them. Wild goose chase comes from Shakespeare in a pickle and wear your heart on your sleeve. Oh they all come from Shakespeare. Um so there you go. So you'd have to talk like Shakespeare for the rest of the day now.

SPEAKER_00 18:34

I'd probably I'd probably just not say anything.

SPEAKER_03 18:37

Demanding pounds of flesh. Do you know what that is? Pound of flesh that comes from the merchant of Venice. Oh, does it? Have you heard of the pound of flesh thing before? So you know somebody's trying to take their pound of flesh.

SPEAKER_01 18:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:49

So that comes the merchant of Venice, um, and there's like a Jewish trader in there, and um I won't go into the whole story, but basically, if you take a pound of flesh from somebody, they're gonna die.

SPEAKER_00 19:01

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 19:03

So, and that's what the story of the merchant of Venice takes.

SPEAKER_00 19:05

I mean, they would to be fair, a pound's quite a fair chunk, isn't it? It is. You can't put a plaster on that.

SPEAKER_03 19:09

Yeah, you can't, definitely. It's a bit of a bit of a chunk like you don't need it.

SPEAKER_00 19:12

You need a sanity towel at least to soak it up. A looped one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:17

Right, so moving on, quick slurp. Hang on. Are you getting all the cameras so far?

SPEAKER_00 19:21

Why did you mention the cameras? Because I'd forgotten.

SPEAKER_03 19:24

I told you though, that you forget, don't you?

SPEAKER_00 19:26

And then you mentioned it now and they're going. Have you no sort of biscuits we've got? They're not the rich ones, are they?

SPEAKER_03 19:30

No, you don't know what they are. I I swear I've had them the other week. Okay. So they're not going to be a good one. Who out of our deviants likes a lemon puff.

SPEAKER_00 19:40

Yes, I do know lemon puffs.

SPEAKER_03 19:43

Ah, fucking love a lemon puff! Rice, the other day, Jim came in with a load of biscuits and his normal biscuits. And almost like he was pulling a fucking dove from inside of his coat, he went and presented the lemon puffs, knowing that I'd go, ha ha!

SPEAKER_00 20:01

I love a lemon puff. Yeah, I'm not that keen.

SPEAKER_03 20:03

Ah, fucking love.

SPEAKER_00 20:04

I can say love of puffs. Do you know what I don't I don't like fake citrus flavour? Oh, okay. It tastes like washing up liquid.

SPEAKER_03 20:11

Maybe that's just your taste. It depends if it's a cheap one now. Some of them do, a bit chemically. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:16

Um, orange is the worst fake orange flavour. It is, yeah. That just tastes like I want to put it in my mock bucket.

SPEAKER_03 20:22

Have you ever had cointre? Which is orange clear? I said one day, I was like, ooh, somebody ordered a drink and they uh they wanted cointreau in it. And then they changed their minds, and I'd already poured it, and I was like, it's on a pourry, you can't put it back in. I was like, yeah, well, I've never had cointre before. Got a bit of ice, throw it in, and just like a tiny little bit of lemonade, just a little bit. Say it everybody, and I forgot about it. The eyes had melted a little bit, and I went, hmm. Knocked it back. I was like, Really? Yeah. And there's customs I couldn't even like spit it in the sink. It's horrible. Right then, so we're going to do slightly longer on these days. And you might have heard a couple of them, you might not. And the idea is that you're learning shit.

SPEAKER_00 21:03

I probably haven't. I feel like I know a fair bit until I walk in here and just get stupefied.

SPEAKER_03 21:07

But it's good because you're learning stuff. So when your kids say, Hey Dad, have you heard of blah blah? Or do you know what date the um the YouTube went live the first time? Yeah, and they'll go, Oh, you should know that. Fucking clever man, you know. You'd rather know everything before we do. You're coming to school. Yeah. Every day's a school day, are you? 1967, Soviet Union, 23rd of April. The Soviet Union launched a Soyuz 1, which basically it was an it was a craft, it was going to be um carrying a cosmonaut. I quite like cosmonaut over astronauts. Yeah. Do you?

SPEAKER_00 21:41

Yeah, cosmonaut sounds cosmic. Sounds like they know what they're doing. Astronauts sounds like they fell into the job.

SPEAKER_03 21:50

I never thought of it that way before, but yeah, maybe. Cosmonaut just sounds just a little bit more out there, doesn't it? The cosmos.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

More sciencey, more like they're off to do astronauts.

SPEAKER_03 22:03

Would you be an astronaut?

SPEAKER_00 22:04

Well maybe that's because would it be an astronaut?

SPEAKER_03 22:06

Of course I fucking mud. How much money do they get paid? Oh, so it's just for the money and off the experience.

SPEAKER_00 22:11

Well I mean it'd be alright, wouldn't it? But Yeah, it'd be money mostly.

SPEAKER_03 22:16

There's easier things you can do to make money.

SPEAKER_00 22:19

I mean you wouldn't pay as much money as an astronaut, but I'd probably hate the fact that everybody wanted to talk to me when I got back.

SPEAKER_03 22:24

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 22:25

Um But it would be cool to go and do the weightless thing.

SPEAKER_03 22:29

I'd like to to piss and see me piss float.

SPEAKER_00 22:34

I mean, that's weird, but okay. You'd catch it in your own mouth. Um you say you know the temptation would be there. If I was gonna get clicks, you'd be like it's now or never.

SPEAKER_03 22:46

If I was gonna get likes.

SPEAKER_00 22:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:49

No. I mean, uh it'd depend it would depend how concentrated it was. If it'd been I hadn't been for a while because I'd been in my space suit and I couldn't go for a piss, it'd be fucking dark, wouldn't it? No fucking way. But if I was nicely hydrated. I mean, I'd be the first astronaut in space to piss and catcher, and it'd go viral.

SPEAKER_00 23:07

You would yeah?

SPEAKER_03 23:08

I mean, I'd probably go viral just for being an astronaut, but I'd go like fucking proper Vicky viral if it did that.

SPEAKER_00 23:14

Yeah. Wouldn't it? You'd do a full scene in space.

SPEAKER_03 23:17

I would.

unknown 23:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:18

Anyway.

SPEAKER_00 23:18

You'd probably get pissed off because you were trying to do your floggers and it'd just still be over there. Fucking on it up you, you little.

SPEAKER_03 23:24

Think as I've said before, I wouldn't go into space. Would you not? No. I'm too scared now to be of a scaredy cat. I think you just hit an age at some point in your life and you're very aware of your own mortality.

SPEAKER_00 23:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:34

And I've hit the point where I'm now I'm now like grateful to be here every day. I'm not going to put that at risk. You do hit that part, that point. Yeah. You do. I I was always like, ah, fuck it. You know, wing walking and all that. I probably would still do wing walking because I've done it before. I know that it's dangerous, but um but astronauts and all that. No, I said I said it last time to answer it. I wouldn't do a bungee jump because I'm afraid maybe knees just a cake. This is a sort of go through your mind when you hit 50.

SPEAKER_00 24:02

I've never thought about losing an ankle though, but I suppose it's possible, innit?

SPEAKER_03 24:05

When you hit 50, you're gonna start over-analysing all this shit. Crossing the road and everything, you'll start crossing the pedestrian lights.

SPEAKER_00 24:11

You start using the actual crossing. Yeah, yeah. Fuck, how long have you got before you start saying to young ones? Can you help me a cross? Like that's linking people.

SPEAKER_03 24:19

Just link at a random stranger to cross the road.

SPEAKER_00 24:22

Why would I go into space?

SPEAKER_03 24:24

Yeah, Jimmy would as well, I wouldn't know. No. You used to go diving, didn't you? No, Jimmy's been diving. I won't do that either, because I won't do the fish in the sea. And there happens to be fish in the sea.

SPEAKER_00 24:33

It does slightly.

SPEAKER_03 24:34

It's one of my fears, you know this, I think. I won't put my feet in the tank while I had the fish. I don't like it. And uh fish in the sea. I do that in the sea. I know they're there, but I can't see them. If I do that and there's a fish near me, you don't. I'm out of my froth. Yeah, I'm gone. Anyway, we're gonna move on. Yeah. Five minutes ago, Soviet Union. Cosmonauts. Love that word still. Vladimir Komarov. He blasted into orbit and he was um basically knew that the mission could be fatal.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:08

The reason why is because the the Soyuz, I'm sure it's not how you say it, but I'm saying Soyuz. The spacecraft, it had faults before the launch, and they knew it had faults. Engineers had reported and flagged dozens of issues. The systems weren't fully tested, and there was concerns about the power navigation and the parachute deployment.

SPEAKER_00 25:31

Okay, now I'm crazy Russian.

SPEAKER_03 25:33

Yet the mission went ahead. Probably Cold War pressure at the time, politics, not wanting the the Americans to do it first. You know what?

SPEAKER_00 25:40

When Space Race was actually a race.

SPEAKER_03 25:42

Exactly. So I can sort of see them like, you know, maybe bypassing some of the safety checks to beat the Yanks, yeah. So anyway, he cut he lifted off into orbit knowing that it wasn't safe. That's a brave man. Obviously, his name's down in the history books, but all for the wrong reasons, because almost immediately after lift off, things started to fail. Um, a solar panel failed to deploy, starving the capsule of power completely, and that affected the navigation, stabilisation, communication, all the essential shit. Probably people still use the shit in our life, but you know, can't breathe, can't land.

SPEAKER_00 26:19

He's literally just going up in a bathtub.

SPEAKER_03 26:21

Exactly that. Exactly that. And it hasn't even got a fucking parachute. You know what I mean? So it's crippled orbiting Earth, and it was supposed to apparently dock onto another Soyuz craft, um, but due to the failures, it meant that was going to be impossible. Impossible. So the decision was to abort and come home. But when it it uh re-entered the atmosphere, the parachute failed as a ploy, because it was fucking false before they took up.

SPEAKER_00 26:48

So he probably never packed it.

SPEAKER_03 26:50

It became tangled, and the capsule just hit the ground at you know stupid speed. And Komarov just died instantly, and he became the first human to die during a space mission in history.

SPEAKER_01 27:01

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 27:02

So he went in got a good safety record. But he went into the history books for the wrong reasons, really. You know, he wants to be up there as you know the first person to orbit and obviously attach onto his other aircraft and he didn't. He died instead. That's why he went in into the history books. Now, I said before at the very beginning that he knew that the mission was likely going to be fatal because he knew that about these safety checks, and apparently Yori Gagarin was supposed to be owned into the flight instead, and he said he he took his place, he wants to protect his friend. Oh that's what the that's what he reckoned.

SPEAKER_00 27:36

That's the story they sold.

SPEAKER_03 27:37

That's what they reckon. Some historians debate the accuracy of that, but I quite like it. It's a little bit of an urban myth. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:44

Probably his wife and kids are gunpoint and told them to get in. Probably, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:51

That's a nicer story, I think.

SPEAKER_00 27:53

Yeah. Go buy that.

SPEAKER_03 27:54

So the last on this day, you probably wouldn't have heard of this because I hadn't.

SPEAKER_01 27:59

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 28:00

And I know quite a lot. Not because I'm clever, it's because I read stuff and I listen to podcasts all the time. And I sometimes research and I go, Oh yeah, I had listened to that about four years ago on blah blah podcast. I'm just shit in my head. Birthdays, oh my god, your birthday message the other day. Right, do you know what happens? You know when you've got loads of WhatsApp messages that you haven't read?

SPEAKER_01 28:22

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:23

And about three pages down, because I get that many messages, our little group for your birthday, people were saying happy birthday, and I was like, oh shit, we've missed Barry's birthday. So I went, Jim, he was sitting there, I went, Jim. Oh so I was voice noting. I went, happy birthday, Baz. And I went, oh, what day is it? It's the 12th, the 12th today. And then I was like, maybe it is the 12th, and the messages had all just dropped down and I got confused. And then when you're recording, you can't go back and look at messages because it stopped you. So what you got was a really garbled, frantic, confused old lady happy birthday message.

SPEAKER_00 29:00

Nice mess, but we'd been chatting in the morning anyway.

SPEAKER_03 29:02

So you were like, We fucking didn't say anything. But I was chatting away, I just didn't get onto the facts at all that it was your birthday.

SPEAKER_00 29:09

Because we'd gone out on the Friday, so you can be forgiven.

SPEAKER_03 29:12

Yeah. I kept going because you put in the group that was your b birthday, Morse's birthday, and John's. Yeah. I was like, oh yeah, the 12th. So when I did the message, I was like, What's the 13th? Is it 11th? What date is it? Anyway, anyway.

SPEAKER_00 29:25

So I know loads of shit with dates apart from my mate's birthdays, is what you're saying. Yes, basically.

SPEAKER_03 29:31

I can remember Jim's. 23rd of April 1971, before I was born, Bangladesh. Bangladesh, a little bit. Bangladesh. There's a genocide going on around that time. And those thousands of Bengali Hindu refugees from surrounding villages gathered in the Jatimbanga. Jatimbanga area. Now these were families, men, women and children. And they weren't carrying a lot, basically what they could manage, what they could pick up and carry. They just wanted to get out alive. There's this mass genocide going on. And they were just fearful for the lives. However, because there's cunts everywhere, those collaborators, local collaborators, and they blocked the escape routes for these people. And they informed the Pakistani army of the location. What followed happened very, very, very quickly. Military trucks arrived, and all these fleeing civilians were forced into lines. So we're talking men, women and children. On the whole, lots of them. A massacre that began in the morning and didn't end till the afternoon. There was that many people killed. In just a few hours, somewhere between 3,000 and 3,500 people were murdered.

SPEAKER_00 30:50

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 30:51

Why don't we know more about this, really?

SPEAKER_00 30:53

That's the type of shit they hide from you. Right under the carpet.

SPEAKER_03 30:58

Right under the carpet.

SPEAKER_00 30:59

That's the type of shit that goes on when they're filling your newsfeed with something else to distract you away from it.

SPEAKER_03 31:04

Absolutely. There's a big Thai massacre in a university that I did on another podcast fucking ages ago. And that has been brushed under the carpet as well. They don't talk about it. It's like a really dark part of their history. But thousands of students were just killed, drowned, bludgeoned, some decapitated baz.

unknown 31:21

Fucking hell.

SPEAKER_03 31:22

What people do to each other. So three to three and a half thousand men, women and children. Like an entire community basically are raised in a day. Not even a day. Really bad.

SPEAKER_00 31:33

And generations of a family.

SPEAKER_03 31:34

Generations. They would have been grandparents and everything there, wouldn't they?

SPEAKER_00 31:38

Like a hundred years worth of family name just gone.

SPEAKER_03 31:40

Just obliterated completely.

SPEAKER_00 31:42

May never actually recontinue. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:44

So anyway, um, after the soldiers left, these local the collaborators move the bodies to a nearby river area and cover them with earth. Um excuse me. And um obviously there's like there's a monument there now. Um obviously, Mark and the travesty, that atrocity that happened. But I don't know, a memorial it's not really enough because I didn't know about this. I think to acknowledge something like that is to tell the story, not necessarily with shame. It's it's your predecessors have done it, but an acknowledgement, isn't it? It's an acknowledgement that this should never have happened, and you know, we do apologize on behalf of our nation. Pardon?

SPEAKER_00 32:26

At least a bank holiday or something, give people a day off.

SPEAKER_03 32:29

Are we getting an extra bank holiday this year that I read? Oh well, one permanently going forward.

SPEAKER_00 32:35

There's something, is it the king said something?

SPEAKER_03 32:38

Fucking king keeps handing out bank holidays. Is it last year and the fucking year before? You love it. I'm an employer that's got to pay people for bank holidays. Anyway. I don't begrudge people, obviously having a bank holiday, because when I was an employee, I loved having bank holidays. But as an employer, I'm like, do you know what? Give people the bank holidays, etc.

SPEAKER_01 32:58

Don't make me pay them.

SPEAKER_03 32:59

No, don't give them more.

SPEAKER_00 33:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:01

Don't give them fucking more. When the king was coronated, I was like, I think we got two extra.

SPEAKER_00 33:06

You got two extra for that, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:07

And I was like, fuck you, Mr. King. You pay us to pay them the extra. So I'm gonna step down fucking soapbox. Right, we're all still recording, but all doing well here, Baz. And I don't need a fark, buzzer, yes.

SPEAKER_00 33:22

No, we're good.

SPEAKER_03 33:23

We're cracking on here, cracking on. Right, so before I move on to my segment, I'm gonna do a little dangly bit.

SPEAKER_00 33:30

Oh, I like these.

SPEAKER_03 33:31

Would you like the dangly bits? Now, the dangly bit this time, though, is just like a little bit of a question to you.

SPEAKER_00 33:37

Oh shit, I don't like that.

SPEAKER_03 33:38

It's a funny question, no, it's a funny question.

SPEAKER_00 33:39

I feel like it's a bit.

SPEAKER_03 33:40

It's a bit on the spot, so I need to blow my nose again. I don't know if I'm coming down a little bit. Oh, it's hay fever season coming up, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 33:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:47

I've got away with blowing my nose all the time, and all of a sudden I'm blowing my nose. What?

SPEAKER_00 33:52

You saying that they say I've been quite snotty a bit lately, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:56

I've saying anti-histamine.

SPEAKER_00 33:58

But I haven't made the connection.

SPEAKER_03 33:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:00

Most mornings waking up, like, wow.

SPEAKER_03 34:02

And my eyes have been a treaty. There you go, I haven't thought about it.

unknown 34:05

Fuck's sake.

SPEAKER_03 34:06

You've got a big red nose now that you can all see. Right then. So my question to you. Bit of a obscure.

SPEAKER_00 34:14

Once you ask me questions. Because he doesn't know what I'm asking. I might know the answers, whether or not I want to tell them I know the answer.

SPEAKER_03 34:22

Which cartoon character would you 100% shag Jessica? Fuck off, she was gonna be mine! No, so I was you you got a first, it's fine. Jessica Rabbit was fit.

SPEAKER_01 34:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:36

Absolutely fit. When she's on the stage doing that song, oh what's a song? Uh uh.

SPEAKER_00 34:44

I know it's a song you mean, and I can't. I wasn't listening. Why did I have any others? So as you got me thinking about female. I know the song.

SPEAKER_03 34:56

Well, I was just getting it right because I was out of tune.

SPEAKER_00 35:00

That could be a real.

SPEAKER_03 35:02

So Jessica Rabbit, she had the big slit up the side and the sparkly dress.

SPEAKER_00 35:06

Thing is, Jessica Rabbit, that was my instant boom straight away.

SPEAKER_03 35:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 35:11

But she's gone a bit mainstream. Everyone would do Jessica Rabbit.

SPEAKER_03 35:16

We used to have her uh a drag artist in the club, did Jessica Rabbit? She was good as well. She's really good. She actually uh obviously shaved her eyebrows because a lot of them do, and painted the really high, like uh cartoon like eyebrows, and then when she did that, it went like I was really good. Yeah, she had like the dress made and everything, Dead Dead Sparkly, it was lovely. Nice, mm-hmm and I had like the little swagger.

SPEAKER_00 35:38

I reckon I could pull off Jessica Rabbit with my red wig.

SPEAKER_03 35:40

I think you probably could. Well, you suit the red wig. Yeah. So you'd be Jessica Rabbit. Yeah. So Jim would be uh Marina from Thunderbirds. He said this loads.

SPEAKER_00 35:51

See, that's not a cartoon. My brain didn't go there, because Thunderbird isn't a cartoon.

SPEAKER_03 35:55

It isn't, but uh I suppose a character. Yeah. And it has been made into a cartoon as well.

SPEAKER_00 35:59

I'd probably do sheer as well.

SPEAKER_03 36:01

Sheerar. Sheerar. I don't know who I'd do, you know. Um I'd have to have a little think about it. There's so many cartoons. Um probably just just for the fun aspect of it. I'd probably ask Bob the Builder to bring all his tools along along as drilled out. Yeah. There you go.

SPEAKER_02 36:25

So Bob the Builder with his drilldo.

SPEAKER_00 36:28

Oh yeah. Fucking could you imagine?

SPEAKER_02 36:30

All of his tools, bring your tools, Bob. I'll shoot a good time.

SPEAKER_00 36:34

Bring scoop muck and dizzy. Bob over there, you'll be fucking dizzy when I'm done with you long.

SPEAKER_02 36:42

I'll scoop you up.

SPEAKER_03 36:44

So Bob the Builder, maybe, with his tools, his tool bag. Wow. Do you not I I I I like, you know, a man with a utility belt. I think of other cartoon characters now, but I can't. If I think of one, I'll come back to it.

SPEAKER_00 36:56

I bet you'd do. Oh. Texas Pete from Super Ted.

SPEAKER_03 37:02

No. No. Another one. Do you know what? Why? What? Well, suppose I've said a hundred. I said shag, haven't I? So it's sex related. Inspector gadget. I've been getting the finger blaster off Inspector Gadget. You'd get one of them things on the end and just go like that.

SPEAKER_00 37:20

Go go gadget whisk.

SPEAKER_03 37:23

Whisk me up, gadget baby.

SPEAKER_00 37:27

The finger blaster 3000 comes out of the hand.

SPEAKER_03 37:32

Okay, so that's Inspector Gadget. Just for the pure filth and um gadgets he can bring. Oh god, it wouldn't go out.

SPEAKER_00 37:40

Go go gadget cuffs and you're down.

SPEAKER_03 37:43

Don't go go gadget to just stay.

SPEAKER_00 37:46

Yeah. Okay, so you're Jessica Rabbit for the sheer like the first one when you said that was Mimi Brain went. Yes. So I've got to go with her. Yeah. There was always Sabrina the Teenage Witch, but she was never a cartoon. She wasn't a cartoon.

SPEAKER_03 38:05

No.

SPEAKER_00 38:05

Because it's about five.

SPEAKER_03 38:07

No, it's not. So not what. She's quite good. She's quite good, but I actually preferred the aunties. Isn't it really good? Zelda and Hilda. Where you just plucked that from?

SPEAKER_00 38:17

I'm not saying I'm not even going to look over there when I say this out loud, but we know when I was a kid. I used to quite fancy some of the Golden Girls. There was a blonde one. She wasn't the oldest of the two.

SPEAKER_03 38:30

Yes, she's actually really quite pretty lady. I know the one you mean. Yeah. That's called something. Hang on, let me pluck it from my old brain. When you f when you fancy somebody who or you know really attract somebody who's a lot older than you. So you're young and they're old ladies. Yeah. That's called geratophilia.

SPEAKER_00 38:51

What?

SPEAKER_03 38:51

Geratophilia.

SPEAKER_00 38:53

Gerat. Not girass. You're not fucking dinosaur born in me.

SPEAKER_03 38:57

Geratophilia. No. Gerontophilia.

SPEAKER_00 39:00

Gerontophilia.

SPEAKER_03 39:01

Gerontophilia.

SPEAKER_00 39:02

You could have gave it a nicer name.

SPEAKER_03 39:04

It's because of geriatric.

SPEAKER_00 39:06

Oh no, you're making it worse.

SPEAKER_03 39:08

So do you still want to shag a girls and girl? You giratophile.

SPEAKER_00 39:14

This is why I don't come here, say things.

SPEAKER_03 39:17

Said it now. Recorded, recorded, recorded, recorded.

SPEAKER_00 39:21

I wasn't there, it wasn't me. It's AI.

SPEAKER_03 39:23

Do you know what? I don't know what's AI and what's not at the moment.

SPEAKER_00 39:26

I'm learning. I can tell some of it. I can tell on graphics, because sometimes the graphics have like six shit.

SPEAKER_03 39:32

But videos, I'm like, have you s heard the music on TikTok? There's some amazing music, and I'm sorry, it's AI guys. I know how you all feel. I'm pretty much the same myself. However, there's no denying that some of the music, there's some, there's one, uh Dirty Diana by Michael Jackson, and it's a blues style, and it's a black man style voice. You can imagine a big black guy like that with shades, suit, tie, you know, like a proper fucking dude. Yeah, you know, dude. Like that who swaggers in like that, going, Yeah, I'm a big guy, and I got a big voice. One of them, you know. That's how I imagine this AI voice because he's got the big low black guy voice, fabulous. So I was listening to it going, fucking hell, Jimmy. Have you ever heard this? I'm like, that girl read the comments, like, oh, this AI is getting out of hand. I'm like, fuck off. Looked at the account, and the account actually produces AI music. And there's loads, buzz.

SPEAKER_00 40:26

There's fucking so like I know you say people hate it, I get it. You can't avoid it.

SPEAKER_03 40:30

You can't, but I'd definitely download it, you know.

SPEAKER_00 40:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:33

I would. If there was a Spotify Spotify.

SPEAKER_00 40:36

I think there is. Is there? Because I get on my Insta reels or my Insta feed, I get like music suggested on a compressed listen now, and it takes me to their Spotify page. Some of it's really good. And it's normal bands and artists and stuff, but every now and again it comes up with a playlist to help you sleep, playlists to help you do. See some of them. And when you start to look at them, you're thinking this is all just generated.

SPEAKER_03 40:59

Is it working though?

SPEAKER_00 41:01

I don't know, I don't follow them once 'cause I don't like them. I don't like proper music. Proper music. What's proper music to you? With an actual person, an actual voice and an actual instruction.

SPEAKER_03 41:09

Oh, right, okay, so like human music.

SPEAKER_00 41:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:12

Yeah. Well, me too. Me too, of course, I do.

SPEAKER_00 41:14

But some of them are really good.

SPEAKER_03 41:16

And you know, the argument over them taking business away from your musicians and artists and all that totally get it. Totally get it. You're supposedly using loads more energy as well, but my argument is all the phones we go through, and every time we go online on something, it's using a lot of whatever. But we're not gonna open that can of worms, because I agree with most people, I really do. But there's no denying that this music is just something else right now. Yeah. And I mean, I love human music as well. There's some fucking amazing music, Reverend and the Makers. Have you heard of Reverend and the Makers? Reverend and the Makers. And also Sons of Legion. Oh, I haven't heard of them. Look up Sons of Legion. Very, very good. Like um, like rock country, but with a real sort of um bluesy feel, steel guitar, and like you can imagine the big beards and um bandanas and all that, you know. Really, really good.

SPEAKER_00 42:07

So Sunday, wasn't it? I went to a gig.

SPEAKER_03 42:09

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 42:09

Went to a young blood gig.

SPEAKER_03 42:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:11

I've gotta say that was hands down one of the best fucking gigs I've ever been to, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 42:16

It's like damn bank and entertain.

SPEAKER_03 42:18

I don't rate race him very much. I've heard some of his stuff, and I'm like, bit shouty that nice. Oh, I love him.

SPEAKER_00 42:23

But him as an actual person, the show he put on, it was like a proper concert.

SPEAKER_03 42:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:28

It was a bloke. There was fireworks, there was confetti, there was he jumped out and he starts crowd surfing and shit. It was like what people now, a lot of our bands seem to be scared to do. The Simon Cowell fucking era of musicians where they all stand or sit on stools and sway. And he's gone back and he's just gone, fuck that, that's it was amazing. I don't know. That's proper music.

SPEAKER_03 42:48

I prefer that. They're really enjoying it themselves, you can tell. Yeah, there's nothing worse than going to a gig and there's somebody who's just going through the motions, they've done it 17 nights prior, you know, and maybe they're not quite feeling it, or they're just not engaging quite so much to just sing, sing, sing, sing. And walk off. When somebody's bouncing all around the stage and they're interacting, they're jumping into the crowd, there's all sorts going on. You can tell they're having the time of their lives, and that's why they got into it in the first place. So, why more artists don't do it? I don't know. Too much effort, I suppose. Anyway, we are gonna move on to your little segment. It's not a massive long one, um, but I wanted to give it a little nod because it's something that I haven't really thought about myself, and maybe we should. I've done this subject in different ways before, mainly on unhinged me spin-off. But I've not really covered this, and I feel like we should. So the Titanic. When you think of the Titanic, don't say hotel. When I say Titanic, what do you think of immediately?

SPEAKER_00 43:46

The boat. The boat.

SPEAKER_03 43:51

So basically, you you've said what most people say, you know, yeah, boat ship. Um you know, i it went down, a lot of people died. Cold water, iceberg. Yeah. The first thing has come to mind. And you know, that's what we all know. We've seen the film, you know, seen the roll of credits. We all know what's coming. However, what you never, never, never hear or read about is what happened afterwards. Directly afterwards. You do hear that people got rescued. Uh, I think it was the Carpathia, I think, went on rescue mission. Um, so you know, lots of people, thankfully, were rescued, but over 1,500 people died. What happened to them? People?

SPEAKER_00 44:30

Yeah, you know, I've never even thought about it, but where did the lifeboat actually go?

SPEAKER_03 44:34

So the lifeboats with people in were poles in by the rescue and ships. I think the car path of us one, and there's another ship that came not long afterwards. There's two in the end that rescued people on the lifeboats. Some of the people on the lifeboats didn't survive because it was so cold. They'd spent some time in the room.

SPEAKER_00 44:50

Jack and Rose, didn't they? We were holding on to a door.

SPEAKER_03 44:52

I'll never let go, Jack. I'll never let go.

SPEAKER_00 44:55

Fuck off.

SPEAKER_03 44:56

And then fuck off. Yeah, let him go. But it was a read into that because Jimmy always says she's a twatter, she let go. Always, every fucking time. If we watch her, she's like, Here we go, she's letting go. But apparently, he's like, Don't let go of hope. Beforehand, you hear him saying, you know, hold on to hope, you've got to survive. Hold on. So when he says, when she says, I'll never let go, it's not like I'll let go of you, it's I won't let go of hope, I'll keep on fighting.

SPEAKER_00 45:21

She's talking to a man though, we're simple creatures.

SPEAKER_03 45:24

Yeah, yeah. And he's probably gone to his death going. She fucking let me go, the cunt. Pretty cunt though.

unknown 45:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:33

Yeah. Anyway. So, what happened afterwards? All the people, like I said, people, the people on the lifeboat, some of them most of them did actually survive on the lifeboat. They huddled in, I think. But if they've been in the water that long and they've been hoiked in, because some did you know be rescued from the water, they were cold already, and they'd you know, hypothermia and all that kind of thing. You know that if you've got hypothermia, you strip off layers as well, don't you? Yeah. It's your body like overheating and tricking you into thinking you're too hot, and obviously, that's normally a demise, then, because you're taking off the layers that may you know help you survive. So after the lifeboats, uh other people were rescued and the the other boats went, there was still 1,500 people that died, and they needed to be retrieved somehow. In freezing cold water, there was no way they were going to survive, but the a lot of them would have been floating in life jackets, just bobbing in the water.

SPEAKER_00 46:28

The seagulls and things would have had them, wouldn't they?

SPEAKER_03 46:31

And also they were drifting in one of the busiest ship on lanes in the world at the time.

SPEAKER_00 46:37

Bouncing around like skills on a bowling lane.

SPEAKER_03 46:40

So the White Star Line, they chartered like a cable ship from Halifax in Nova Scotia and Luffy's in Nova Scotia. Do you watch Oak Island as well?

SPEAKER_00 46:51

I fucking love it, yeah. We still haven't found the fucking hidden treasure.

SPEAKER_03 46:55

But some of the artifacts are finding. Right. If you like piratey type treasure stuff and men digging fucking big holes in the ground hoping they're going to find said treasure, they do find some stuff, don't get me wrong. How many series is it now?

SPEAKER_00 47:09

I think about 13, 14. It's a lot.

SPEAKER_03 47:11

There's a lot of episodes in it as well. And you see the people aging as well, don't you?

SPEAKER_00 47:17

And they've lost a few.

SPEAKER_03 47:18

They have, yeah. Well, they lost there's been loads over the years, haven't they? And they said that somebody needs to die before the treasure is found. But one of the guys' sons died in it. Yes, he did, didn't he? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:28

Anyway, it's called son in the show, was he?

SPEAKER_03 47:31

No. No, he wasn't. He was like a son of it's called the Curse of Oak Island, and I call it digging up the island. Because all they do is dig this fucking island up and dig big massive holes going meters into the ground, big drill holes. And you know, the finding of coins, but they're finding loads of um Templar Knight stuff.

SPEAKER_01 47:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:51

And Jim is big into night templar, so he's like, yeah. Anyway, we're not fucking Nova Scotia. You all know I love the now, I keep saying um Newfoundland. Newfoundland. Newfoundland. No, it's not, it's Newfoundland.

SPEAKER_00 48:05

Newfoundland.

SPEAKER_03 48:06

Yeah. We say Newfoundland because us Brits like to pronounce all of our letters and vowels and consonants. But actually, over there, the they drop loads of letters. And it's Newfoundland. Newfoundland, yeah. And Nova Scotia, beautiful parts of the world, I'd love to go. And if I do, I'll let you all know and you can come for a drink with me. Anyway, because I will. So they um chargered this cable ship from Nova Scotia, and it was called the C S McKay Bennett. And it was a working vessel, it was never designed for like relieving bodies, you know, you know, and and grief. Yeah. But it was suddenly transformed into like a floating rochery. Wow. And it was loaded with a hundred coffins, around a hundred tons of ice, um, embalming supplies, canvas, undertakers, clergy, uh, body bags, and they just improvise basically with the bigger. I'll tell you a bit about that in a minute.

SPEAKER_00 49:01

Do you know what my brain did when you said the name of that ship? Go on. Macarb.

SPEAKER_03 49:04

Macab. It is a bit of it. MacKay Bennett.

SPEAKER_00 49:08

MacBay.

SPEAKER_03 49:09

Yeah. It is a bit really, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:11

Yeah, that's what my brain literally just did with him.

SPEAKER_03 49:13

Yeah, my brain didn't quite make the connection, but now it has.

SPEAKER_00 49:15

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_03 49:17

So we were trying the best, you know, on a ship that was not built for anything like that. Um, and also imagine what got me. This is a ship that is in no real hurry because not rescuing anybody living. Its only mission is to collect the dead.

unknown 49:37

Right.

SPEAKER_03 49:37

It must have been quite a sobering journey, really, for the crew. Because they would have had they knew that they were going to be picking dead, cold, frozen, probably eating bodies out of the water. There's no hope, there's no chance of a miracle.

unknown 49:50

No.

SPEAKER_03 49:50

Is there, you know? There's no maybe somebody survived. Because this was the 23rd of April, and the Titanic went down on the 15th. So it's two early hours, 15th.

SPEAKER_00 50:02

Do you reckon they were like, there's no way of getting that one?

SPEAKER_03 50:08

I'm going to tell you a bit more about that. This is why it should be told, this story. Um, not because it's nothing dramatic about it, but just to close it off.

unknown 50:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:19

Because there will be people that lost families and things, and you're gonna go waiting on that ship coming home. So did you find them?

SPEAKER_03 50:25

Exactly. Why is this a story stop of people getting rescued? Why isn't it stopping at all of people that didn't make it? And then what happened to the you know, what when the bodies were brought home? I'll tell you about it now, anyway. So it was a very, very um daunt and probably bleak voyage for the for the guys on the crew that were on there. And um the McKay Bennett arrived near the wreck site, and recovery operations began pretty much straight away. So there were bodies in the area, but they weren't all there. And what they found, they said, was aerie beyond words. They said bodies were still in evening dress, so evening dresses floating and like hats just on their own, floating around, men in like tuxedos. Uh there's still some men with like little glasses still on, like that, because they're in the life jackets just floating like. Not necessarily, no. There was still crewmen in uniform, and there's like children in like wool jackets. That's never not gonna do anything for them, like, is it, you know? And they said that it looked strangely peaceful, but also very airy and quiet. The North Atlantic, very, very cold. If I imagine it, not a lot of land in the area where they were, land was fucking miles away, like echoey, even if you turn all the engines off.

SPEAKER_00 51:46

Middle and proper dark.

SPEAKER_03 51:48

Yeah. So anyway, um, if you can imagine the bossies, some of them have been in the water a long, long time and you know, maybe nibbled, like you say, but frostbitten as well. Especially those that maybe didn't have life jackets, not every day had life jackets, you know. Some of the people you know were killed on the ship and would have floated off without life jackets on, and the crew had to lift the bossies out by hand, no machinery hoists, nothing like that, all by hand, or maybe a hook.

SPEAKER_00 52:17

Like a crab pot.

SPEAKER_03 52:18

Yeah. So anyway, the sailors just leaned over and fucking lifted them out, man. But very, very quickly, they realised that there wasn't enough space on the ship. There wasn't enough coffins, there wasn't enough embarrassment fluid, there wasn't enough ice. The ship had been prepared for around a hundred bodies. I think they thought that maybe someone would have sunk or you know, drifted too far. They would recover off 306. So a decision had to be made. What were they gonna do? And I hate to say it, folks, the system that we had, the first, second and third class system, remained after death. First class passengers were prioritised for coffins and preservation with embalming fluid and ice. Second class victims were wrapped carefully in canvas, but not necessarily on ice because they went to the first class. Most of the third class that were recovered and the crew were buried at sea, often weighted down with iron so the bodies would sink or wouldn't drift off. That was the main problem. So even in death, the class system followed them into the sea.

SPEAKER_00 53:26

That's sad.

SPEAKER_03 53:28

That detail alone, it just it just got me a little bit. Luxury above, workers below.

SPEAKER_00 53:36

Nah.

SPEAKER_03 53:37

You know.

SPEAKER_00 53:38

So anyway, who's gonna pay the most to bring the bodies back, and it's gonna be the rich body.

SPEAKER_03 53:44

Of course it is, you know, but all the families would have been waiting for them in Halifax, you know what I mean. So 116 bodies uh were actually committed back into the Atlantic. Some because they couldn't be preserved, they weren't in a great shape. Yeah. And some badly damaged, you know, some of them might have been chewed up by propellers or just you know, the ship going down or anything, really. And there was just no room. There's just no room for them all. And can you imagine the emotional toll that it takes took on the crew? It they knew they were going to pick up dead bodies, but then they took all that time, buzz. It would have taken days and days to recover the bodies, the emotional tur turmoil of bringing them on, packing them with ice, putting them in the coffins, and then like, what can we do with these? And then being told, thrown back in.

SPEAKER_00 54:32

Yeah, that'd have been the hardest part of throwing back in.

SPEAKER_03 54:35

And they weren't all adults, there was children in third class who weren't preserved and put in coffins. It was only first class passengers.

SPEAKER_00 54:44

There would have been arguments among the crew there.

SPEAKER_03 54:46

I think there would have been. If you think about it, these were working class crewmen. They would have seen other crewmen of the Titanic, engine room staff, people on the same salaries as these guys.

SPEAKER_00 54:59

They'd have been swapping clothes, fucking put that suit on him.

SPEAKER_03 55:02

But they would have been like, well, just because he's crew, he's got to go down there, that would be us. Just yeah. I mean, they know they're dead anyway, but even in that, in death, the respect, that class system.

SPEAKER_00 55:13

To be fair, in death, it just it balances the books.

SPEAKER_03 55:17

It does in a way because you're all dead, but you they're not being dealt with with the same. The first class are still being treated better.

SPEAKER_01 55:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:25

And I do it just upsets me that. Anyway, I'm gonna upset you anymore now. Among the victims is a 19-month-old little boy, and they didn't know who he was, and he was in one of his little wool coats, and they called him the unknown child. And the crew was so affected by recovering this child that they all actually paid for a burial for him in Halifax rather than committing back to the sea because that's where he should have gone. Um, and for decades nobody knew who he was, and it became one of the Titanic saddest like mysteries, if you like. Anyway, in 2007, DNA testing finally identified him as Sidney Leslie Goodwin, and he was a toddler travelling in third class his family. None of them survived, none of his family survived, and that that story, amongst those who know what happened to passengers afterwards, this is the one that hits the hardest amongst them. And uh, yeah, so amongst all the myths, you know that the Titanic and all that happened, that one little child for me makes the whole thing very human. Yeah, you've seen the movies, and you can say, Oh, bodies are dragged out. This little baby, 19-month-old baby, no family, found bobbing in the water, dragged up, and the crew were just so emotionally touched by this. They were poor, they put all the money together to make sure he got a decent burial, yeah, and his grave is still there now. And people do actually visit his grave and put flowers in his grave and all that. Yeah, so the story doesn't quite stop there. Um, some famous names were recovered. I quite like that one. That's a cheeky little that you didn't mean to let go. That's a satisfying file to me.

SPEAKER_00 57:22

That that's a warm one.

SPEAKER_03 57:23

It's a warm one, but then you go, oh, it's gonna smell that because it's a bit it's hot around your bum hole. And then you go, and you just go, oh shit. That stinks. And if you can, you can vacate just in case somebody walks in. I'm not saying I farce because I'm a lady. Ladies don't farce. We guff. We pass. Do a little poof.

SPEAKER_00 57:48

I'm not gonna say you queef.

SPEAKER_03 57:50

I do queef.

SPEAKER_00 57:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 57:52

I do. Do you know what a queef is? Write in, let me know. In the comments, that'll probably be a real. I like the word queef. Okay, you haven't seen the episode fucking ages ago. One of our oh do you know them? One of our guests came to a show one night because she has a skill and she could queef the star spangled banner through a harmonica.

SPEAKER_00 58:22

What?

SPEAKER_03 58:22

No.

SPEAKER_00 58:23

Through a harmonica? Yeah. That's a skill.

SPEAKER_03 58:26

Anyway. How'd you find out you can do that? Don't know. I don't know. I don't know. So there were some famous people who had been recovered. One was John G. Gabasta. He was one of the richest men in the world at the time. And for me, I'm like he was only identified as well by his watch and some other personal initial clothing, I think it was, like a handkerchief or something in his jacket. He couldn't be identified otherwise for the knee it was him. But that to me, when you were saying before, it's very leveling.

SPEAKER_01 58:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 58:56

All are dead people. There's millionaires, stewards, stokers, children, all different classes. It was up very levelling this disaster, which fucked me off. That in death it yeah. Like the whole women children thing first, I get that, but you know, first class and lifeboats. No life is worth more than another. You can't take your fucking money with you.

SPEAKER_01 59:18

No.

unknown 59:19

Anyway.

SPEAKER_03 59:20

So the McKay Bennis, it returned to Halifax on the 30th of April. So what's that? Six days? Seven days, 20 minutes. Seven days it was there. Carried 190 bodies, and apparently the church bells rang as the ship came in. Crowds gathered, and families waited on the docks. Not for survivors, obviously, but for confirmation. Yeah. See if they actually found them or not. And they were identified by jewellery and stuff like that. Wedding rings and some and all the body numbers. So it was then if they had identified them, they were given a number, and the numbers were put up and they could see the number and confirm it was them. Wow, that must have been horrible. Awful. And the dead on arrival, it doesn't stop there, folks. The dead were taken to the Mayflower Curling Club in Halifax. And the ice rink was turned into a temporary morgue. Wow. So a place meant for sports has now been turned into a morgue. And it was filled with rows of the Titanic dead. And um that ship was not the only ship. The other ships went as well. Did have the names of them somewhere, uh the Algerine, the Minia, and something else. And between all three ships, they'd recovered 337 bodies out of over 1,500. And some of the bodies were found hundreds of miles away because they drifted, it's busy sea lanes. So they drifted with the currents.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:36

Bloody hell.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:38

I say thousands, I meant hundreds really, as being dramatic. No, but it's still that's a long way. So, but can you imagine those ships going along? And apparently the ship's logs, which say you know they were in blah blah area, and we saw what we thought was a person, it was a body, and they had a HMS Titanic life jacket on. They kept finding them. So even though they scooped them up. They did.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:00

Well summoned them.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:02

If they were identifiable, looked like they were first class, but just to clear the shipping lanes, you know, maybe they waited them down. I don't know. But even after the three ships had had finished the rescue mission, months, months and months and months later, bodies were still turning off in these shipping lanes, cargo ships and that all like that. Another one, another Titanic one. It's awful, really, isn't it? It is, innit? So there you go. I wanted to just give a little nod for all of the unspoken dead of the Titanic, because we don't ever go beyond the rescue mission.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:38

You don't.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:39

People are just dead, and they're not just dead, are they? They're dead, and they just need to have a little nod. So we've given them a nod. So where are we? Are we are we doing the goat? Yes, no, good, because we've got a lady lobotomy. I think this must be a scouter who's wrote in.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:56

Because they've said, um, do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:59

No, it's just the way they've wrote it. You know when somebody types the way they speaks, they speaks, they speak, speaks. Dear Lady Lobotomy. I'm still dying over this. Definitely a scouter.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:15

Fucking if they call me that, you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:17

I know. I'm still dying over this. One of me family, me family.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:23

Me family.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:23

One of my family was helping me move some stuff and found a box that was very obviously full of BGSM gear. No one said anything at the time, but ever since every conversation's felt a little bit weird. You know what I mean? You know what it's like. It's like this silent, we know, hanging in the air. They said, I just want to leave it and hope that everyone quietly just like forgets about it. But the other part of me is like, just get the awkwardness over and done with and just have a laugh over it. But what do we do? Do we just carry on or do I just face it?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:58

I just ask 'em.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:00

I just come out and say it.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:01

If you they moved it, you go, what did you see in the box?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:04

Yeah. Did you see some kinky shit in the box? Yeah. I'm an adult, I'm into kinky shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:10

Because they're probably thinking, How the fuck bring up the contents of this box?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:15

And then you can just laugh about it. You bring it out and go, I'll fucking show you if you want.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:19

Yeah. I'd have to bring it up.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:20

It depends like on the family member. I mean I I just assumed it's an adult family member.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:25

Well, yeah, I'd hope so. You haven't said that.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:27

Or it's like their mum, their dad, brother or sister, or something along that sort of line.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:35

I'd just be like, Did you see what was in that box? Well, that'll teach you for going rooting through other people's shoes. How's about if it's in a box, you leave the box closed next time?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:44

If you're gonna root, expect to find things you don't want to see.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:47

I think our Liam did go roosing. He slipped up recently. He was here with his girlfriend. We were downstairs with him. And he was just talking about all that time. He wasn't with anybody at the time. He brought some girl back and he made out that our house was his house. Yeah? He's always looked a bit older, and he's a charmer. He can talk his way into and out of everything. Always. And he brought this older woman, older woman, back to the house. I think it was about 16 or 17 when he did this, and he was making out that it was his house. So I was like, So this lady that you brought back and you said that you you owned the house. You wouldn't have took him to your took her to your bedroom. Because your bedroom's downstairs in the extension. Yeah, he was in the back, wouldn't it? And he quickly glazed over us. I think he took it to our bedroom.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:40

Maybe I was not here.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:42

So we're gonna address that one day. Yeah, I would. Because uh I mean he would have got a shock, like I say. But erm use in our bed for fucky fucky with a stranger.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:53

I didn't use anything, as all I can say. I'm sure he wouldn't.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:56

No, he wouldn't.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:57

I don't mean sex toys, that's really weird. Yeah. But you know, like a fucking hissy thing or something.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:01

He wouldn't have known what it was.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:03

I don't know, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:04

Unless he'd been rooting beforehand.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:05

He's quite worldly wise, is our Liam. Yeah, anyway, right, so back to this lady. I know I'm I'm long in the tooth now, and it's easy for me to say. But I thought when it came through, I thought about it and I was like, if um you know our Liam, for instance, at 19, helping us move, found a box full of my stuff, I would have just said Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:27

I'd just face them. I might actually turn it round and embarrass them and belittle them into like who's done wrong here? You haven't done wrong for having the box of stuff. You and I don't they've done wrong for snooping through your stuff. Yeah. So I would be like I'd I would literally shame them into it.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:43

Probably say, I'm missing a fucking ball gaggers when I use a lot of next day.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:47

Yeah. It says uh in the move, found a box that was very obviously so they found a box. They've got a rooting in it, haven't they?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:56

Hate that, you know, people.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:57

Well, next time don't write BDSM shit on the side of The box if you want people to help you move.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:01

Yeah, if you open this, you won't like what you see.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:04

So I you know what that's quite a good tack. I'd be like, right then, fuckers, you've been rooting around my box. So let's have a little look at it properly. And I'm just you know pick up a few little things like I'm kinky. Yeah. It's just handcuffs. I like to beat people around a little bit with this. That's all you need to know. But if you're gonna go rooting round some of stuff, this is probably what you're gonna find. So don't go rooting again.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:24

I would.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:24

Because it's disrespectful, man.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:26

Yeah, that's it. So if you front it with them, they probably won't root again. No, they won't, because we get embarrassed by thinking, shit, you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:33

The actual crime is they've gone fucking rooting through your stuff.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:36

Yeah. I mean, if you move and you would have taped the box up and everything, what do you think?

SPEAKER_00 1:06:40

If you taped the box up, you'd have do you know uh one of a total segue? But just spin it, embarrass them out of it.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:47

You know what? Good idea that. Front them and go right, since you've been rooting, we're gonna talk about this.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:51

You own it, you're not embarrassed by it. Make them want to die, because they're going, oh my god, she owned. I think it's a she, but that's what they're gonna get in it.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:59

Yeah. So uh one of our friends died last year. Um you know him. And um he gave me his BDSM gear when he knew he was dying. Uh he gave me a couple of cases and a big long thing with all like canes and stuff in it, yeah. And there's a little pride and joy this collection. Some of it he'd made himself. Some of it was a little bit like shitty DIY. You know, when you're a bit skinny, like that bit of chain could come in handy. But it was still his gear, but he has some really nice gear as well. Anyway, he's be he would have been dead uh a year the day before my birthday this year in June. And I still can't look through the bag. He said, I want you to have that and you know, give it to people you think it might they might find useful. He said, You've got everything, you might not want anything, but feel free.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:46

But is anybody else trust you to ensure that it's going to carry on to the life it was intended?

SPEAKER_03 1:07:51

Still in me covered, I can't get it out. I can't. I just can't do it. I don't I've seen them use it so many times. Yeah, I just feel like I know this sounds a bit weird, but it might have just like a smell in it as well. That sounds mad. I don't mean like, you know, like be out, but yeah, like people wear a certain at a shave and people have a house smell.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:10

Yeah, I was just gonna say the house smell.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:12

And when he first gave me it and I put it in the car, I got it out and I could smell his house smell.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:18

Well, not a nasty smell, just the smell of his house. And I was like, oh and I I opened the cupboard recently, I could still smell it.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:26

We've gone over.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:27

There we are. Moby last little bit. It's all right. Yeah. Kids can wait. Can you find the cupboard at all? Fuck on. So yeah, I'm gonna have to bring yourself to look at his stuff. It's just sad though, isn't it? You know, that he's gone and that's his stuff.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:41

It's like but he'd be more pissed off than his stuff sat in the cupboard.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:44

He'll get it.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:45

He will, you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:47

I loved him to this. One of my favourite people, and they're like, oh, just can't quite do it, yes. You know, but I will. I will. Um, but um this person, yeah. Shame them!

SPEAKER_00 1:08:59

Fucked them, shame, literally embarrassed the shit out of them for rooting through your shit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:04

Right, we're gonna do a very quick fetish factoid. But before we do, yeah. Oh before we do, because I haven't done this for ages, because my head's been up my ass. I'm not, you haven't got to do nothing, you know, right? Because my head's been up my ass, and I'm trying to juggle like five million balls and you know, sell a fucking well, get hand the business over. I haven't done any of my Patreon shout-outs. Oh, okay. So before I do that, um I want to just say thank you everybody on Patreon um for sticking with us because I mean obviously I've been releasing me stuff and everything, but I've not been chatting so much because I'm just busy and all that. But Unhinged has still been going out, we've still been getting the main episodes, hopefully some other stuff's to come as well. Um, but you know, thank you because it's you guys that keep this going. I couldn't afford to do it if it wasn't for you guys, so thank you so so much. And because we haven't done it for ages, we're gonna do some Patreon shout-outs. Woohoo! Well it's gonna walk, folks, it's on the Patreon shells. Right, so before we go, let's do a very, very quick fetish factoid.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:51

So do you know the muffin man? The muffin man He lived down Drawing Lane.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:09

Okay, then so we're gonna be able to do it.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:16

You nearly got me fidget, but now you can fuck off.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:19

You don't trust me Right then, so do you know why fear and arousal get confused in the brain? Because they do. They do it happens in BDSM and sometimes you know people might feel a little bit of fear in like a horror movie, but it's like arousing a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:41

Is it to do with the oxytocin and the dopamine levels uh fluctuating so closely together that you literally you're skirting across the edge and it can go either way at any given minute.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:57

Pretty much nearly there, yeah. Yeah, very, very good, very, very good. We'll just we'll just put add a little bit more in now. So the sympathetic nervous system, not really going to go into it, but that is what's responsible for when you're scared and all the the things kick in. So the heart race. Um breathing quickly, pupils dilate when you're afraid, your skin gets more sensitive, so you get like goose pimples, adrenaline floods the body, so fight or flight, and your senses sharpen that little bit more when you're fearful, when you're scared. So if you strip fear away from all that, all of that tends to happen when you're sexually aroused. So your heart races, you breathe quicker, your pupils dilate when you're attracted to someone or something. Skin gets more sensitive, so when you get touched, it feels nicer. Adrenaline, obviously, you're not gonna you're not gonna fight or flight. You're gonna you're gonna stay. What's the other word? Fight, flight or freeze. Freeze, I'm gonna freeze. Freeze or fawn.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:53

I don't know. Freeze or fawn. I'm gonna fuck. I am sitting here thinking I've never had a fucking hard cock when I've shit myself.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:02

I was gonna say neither have I, but I haven't got a cock, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:06

There is a no there's a little, there's a subtle hint that I know the difference. Yes. I'm a shitting myself or turn. But there's people that do no, I'm scared.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:13

People who do get erections and stuff. So why? Yes, you are right. Um, so the hormones that flood when you're scared, very, very similar to the hormones that flood when you are aroused. Oxytocin, maybe not quite so much, but yet the dopamine, adrenaline, that kind of thing. And psychologists call it misattribution of arousal. And basically, it's because your brain has to decide what this intensity means. The brain's like, something intense is happening, but I'm a scared, or do I want to fuck?

SPEAKER_00 1:13:48

Yeah. And that's the root of all your BDSM stuff is your brain goes, you like this. Someone else's brain will go, This terrifies you.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:58

So we do we we obviously we do this for the endorphins and the oxytocin and all that kind of thing, but the hormones that are released when we're in pain and when we're scared, afraid, very similar to when we're aroused. And so so often I have guys in the dungeon with an erection I can't get rid of. I've talked about it loads, I talked about it in the episode before last loads, and I'm like, I just can't get rid of this erection. This is why. Because the brain hasn't quite decided if they're aroused or terrified. And I think that's why people come back to dominatrix sometimes, is because you're I'm aroused by the fact that you scare the shit out of me and you do it for me, you press the right buttons. So, yes, the bossy basically goes this high alert from fear, but the brain accidentally files it if you like that heart-pounding sensation under excitement, attraction, sexual charge, that kind of thing. It's why some people, when they watch horror films, they feel a bit turned on. I know you don't, you like don't like scary films. Roller coasters on first dates, adrenaline, all that kind of thing. And fear play in BDSM. Now, I'm not gonna go on too much, but I want to tell you a little story about an experiment that was done to back this up. Because I'm like, how do you know this? 1974, there's two psychologists, Dave and Arthur.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:18

Oh, nice dendritic.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:20

Dave and Arthur, British Columbia, they were standing at the edge of two bridges, one was safe and solid, the other one was swinging and unstable. And men crossed the bridges. Now, obviously, the the is very, very, very high. The swingy bridge as well, swaying suspension bridge, 450 feet long, hanging over a river gorge. Like, no, yeah. No, no. So, anyway, they were walking across and there's an attractive female researcher, stopped them and asked them to do like a quick like picture story test, like a psychology picture story test, and then casually handed over a phone number and said, If you have you have you got any questions about the study, call me. Call me later. Anyway, the brilliant part could come next. So the men who crossed over the terrifying bridge said that um, sorry, they they wrote more sexually charged imagery in their stories, so they had to like give this story. And out of the 20 men, 13 of them contacted the sexy lady later on. On the other bridge that was safe, only seven contacted the sexy lady, and um they weren't like you know turned on or not like that. No sexy stories.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:36

Well, I walked across a bridge when home.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:38

No, well that's a but this this this scary bridge brought on the hormones that told them that they were aroused, and in that that group they were more likely to contact the sexy lady for sexy talks because they were turned on, have a little cheeky wank after the bridge scare.

unknown 1:16:55

Fucking hell.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:56

It's bloody interesting stuff, isn't it? I love the psychology around BDSM in general and arousal and all that kind of thing, because it's very complex and there's a fine line. I did one episode on um why people have orgasms from having the toes and feet played with, and it's because the part of the brain which you which take um picks up sensation from feet is right next to the part of the brain which picks up sensation from ingenital area, and if you stimulate the two enough, the two can jump. That's why our foot fashion event is so popular. Ladies coming all over the place. That's a lie. One did though one day, and so I was like, That lady's just coming from her toes.

unknown 1:17:38

Fucking hell.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:39

She's on the on the couch, having a way of time, she didn't even take her fucking knickers off, and she's gonna fuss in some guy's mouth, and she's coming.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:46

Bloody hell.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:49

Anyway, so on that toe gasm bombshell, we're gonna go! You were practicing the outro on our piss up on Friday night. We're on the lash on Friday, it was a great night, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_00 1:18:02

Oh, I'm gonna laugh so much.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:03

Such a good nice big group of our old matrons.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:05

Ron and Alex trying to take that fucking picture.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:07

Oh, it was so funny. So good nice.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:09

I was practicing the outro and now I'm sober.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:11

Would you like me to start you off?

SPEAKER_00 1:18:14

If you're binge watching, stick the kettle on. I'll see you in five. If not, I'll see you next week. Was I right?

SPEAKER_03 1:18:29

Double high five, can you? Double high five.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:34

I'm fucking getting your body burned. How little we trust each other.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:47

You did! I know.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:50

I'm so proud.

unknown 1:18:51

Thanks.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:52

Can you see that? My eyes have a bit glazed over. I've been proud of you.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:56

It's a hay fever.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:57

I'm not emotional at all, but well done. You did?

unknown 1:19:00

I know.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:02

Well done! I thought that you remember just because you were pissed, I thought when you do your sober, you'll just go to shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:09

I nearly did go to shit, but it came back. It's in there now, innit, you see.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:12

I'm so proud. So Kev, Sissy, and Andy.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:16

Yeah, you little fuckers.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:18

You need to get on it. Baz is the first one. So Kev, you did sort of get it. The first one, not quite. Second time, I think maybe you did get it. I might be doing Kev a disservice there. Sars Kev, love you. But I'm very surprised at you.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:36

I'm really surprised at me. No, I'm not surprised at me, but you're part. Dip the effort in and I did. Put it home, work it.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:41

I did the effort though, didn't I, Dickad? See how brave he is, we've been friends a long time. But you see this here?

SPEAKER_00 1:19:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:49

It's for a reason. Yeah. It's pretty, isn't it? Hurts too.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:55

No, it doesn't. We're gonna get! I'm gonna show up bye.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:58

Bye! And there we have it! Another day made better by listening to the creators of chaos. Thanks for dropping by, and if you enjoyed the show, we'd really appreciate you sharing and love the Panasell podcast with your friends. Don't forget to give us a follow on our socials, maybe leave us some five-star reviews, and feel free to send us an email to magic at the pathcellpodcast.co.uk, or even enter up us on Facebook because we love ChatGu. Be sure to stop by next week because that's what we says. I don't know where I'm going next, but I promise. Catch you soon.