Episode 137 - 'The Tale of Two Spiders'

*Full uncut version on Patreon*

This week on The Padded Cell Podcast, Vicky is joined by returning favourite Sisi Wednesday for an episode that wanders gloriously off the rails.

Fresh from Florence, Sisi shares stories from her travels, including pasta masterclasses, Italian traditions, and standing face-to-face with some of history's greatest artistic treasures. That leads neatly into a fascinating deep dive into Michelangelo, the Sistine Chapel, and the surprising story behind one of its most famous figures.

Elsewhere, Vicky takes aim at the lack of recognition for independent podcasters, celebrates the legacy of pioneering sex educator Dr Ruth, and explores the unexpected role that the adult entertainment industry played in the VHS versus Betamax format war.

The conversation then drifts into cats, spiders, taxidermy, lost childhood photographs, and listen out for THE BEST spider names EVER!

If that wasn't enough, the pair discuss the spiritual origins of chiropractic treatment, the growing impact of artificial intelligence on modern life, and finish with a Fetish Factoid that Vicky can relate to. 

Educational, ridiculous, informative, chaotic and completely unpredictable... just another day in The Padded Cell.

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Recorded and Produced by Vicky at The Padded Cell Studios

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Are you a deviant? You know, like those of us who binge watch serial killer programs, laugh at the stupid stuff people do, and rebel in anything adult. Well, you found your people! Join us as we crack open the door to Path Cell and release the insanely stupid, the weirdly wonderful, and those who choose to live outside to side for not. We delve into the strange, the macabre, the sexy and the outrageous! So if you're a deviant, then you have your place in the path of cell. Oh god, oh god, are we all gone? Hello and welcome to episode 137 of the Path of Cell Podcast. And today I'm here with Sissy Wednesday.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

I'm back again.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

Possible problems. The way you go, it's me. It's almost like here's John.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

It's the spooky legend that has to come out everything.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

Um I also love the fact that you went, it's me. Brilliant, brilliant. Right, we've got a couple of people on Facebook. I'm just gonna turn you around so people can see who you are because we met you. Do it again.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

It's me!

SPEAKER_00 1:23

I just love it. I just love it. So we've got some people live. And of course, we're gonna cause in some the masses. And this is going out on the 4th of June.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

My birthday month. Love this. Only just stopped talking about my 50th and I'm nearly 51.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

I love this for you.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

And I believe it's birthday time for you as well. A couple of months, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

So a couple of months ago in August, but it's a big one. It is a big one.

SPEAKER_00 1:50

I actually thought it was June as well. For some reason, that's why I thought it was June.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

It's because I'm making such a big deal about it and have been for like since I turned 29.

SPEAKER_00 1:57

Well, actually, true. I was doing the exact same thing. So I was I just turned 49 and I was like, I'm on the 50 road now. Yeah, basically. And it wasn't because I was making a thing or whatever. I think I was just getting used to it in my own head. Yeah. Saying 50. Yeah. I get it. So I kept saying, uh I'm 50, I'm 50 next birthday, I'm 50 soon. It wasn't like 11 months. So then by the time I got to 50, everybody was like, I thought you were 50 ages ago, you've been so kind of hard.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

I've been saying I'm 30, and I'm like, no. But also I have just been on holiday to celebrate my birthday.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

You have. I don't know why I got June in my head, but because you'd been away to celebrate your birthday, I've obviously thought it was a little bit sooner. So it was your big three-0. It is. But it's going to be your big three. But your holiday was your big three-o.

SPEAKER_01 2:41

It was.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

And you went to Fidenza.

SPEAKER_01 2:44

I went to Florence. It was beautiful. It is amazing. I'm going to be raving about that place forever. And there's so much that you can do of learning. So like I did a pasta class. I did a pasta masterclass. I did. I made my own pasta. I've since I've come home, I've bought like the rolling machine for your pasta.

SPEAKER_00 3:00

So you're going to make your own pasta from now every time?

SPEAKER_01 3:02

Fabulous? Not every time. Sometimes my 49 pea bag of pasta will suffice. Yeah. But it was very fancy. And they had free unlimited wine. I don't know if I told you. So I. You're going to have to bear in mind that I didn't drink for four years and I started building up my tolerance to go to the wine walls in Florence. I had one lemoncello spritz, couldn't feel my tongue and said I'm not drinking again. Limoncello now. Oh, I love lemoncello. I was like, I had one limoncello spritz. I ordered it in Italian, so they did it stronger. You ordered it in Italian! I've been on uh my Italian language learning girolingo for like a few years. I'm still not very good at it, but I can order basic in Italian.

SPEAKER_00 3:39

Okay, so order limoncello in Italian for me.

SPEAKER_01 3:42

Vore un limoncello spritz, per favore, grazie. Just saying. Just saying I'm really good on my girolingo.

SPEAKER_00 3:54

It's like Italian with a scout accent.

SPEAKER_01 3:57

They can say I'm trying, and that's what matters. So they gave me a limoncello spritz, which was mostly limoncello. Couldn't feel my tongue. Absolute nightmare. Said I wasn't doing it again. But we went to the pasta masterclass. Unlimited wine. I have I've never liked red wine. To me, red wine is vinegar and it's disgusting. However, the chianti, seven glasses later, I've done bacon pasta.

SPEAKER_00 4:20

You sure you were baking pasta?

SPEAKER_01 4:23

The photos of my pasta were fabulous. I'll send you them. Um I was so impressed.

SPEAKER_00 4:26

The pasta was amazing. Note going forward then. If you want to make pasta at home, you need to be eight glasses of red wine in minimum.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

Yeah, specifically Chianti. It was delicious. Ten out of ten.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

Well, I'm I'm impressed that you could actually make pasta anyway. And now that I know that you've made pasta after eight glasses of Chianti, fucking annoying. I've been really drinking for four years, yeah, me too.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

I'm a pasta master, I've got a certificate and everything. You've got a certificate for me. You've got a certificate, yeah, that you went to a pasta master class in Italy.

SPEAKER_00 4:59

I love a certificate.

SPEAKER_01 5:00

I think I'm one on freedom.

SPEAKER_00 5:03

I'm putting it up in my kitchen, look at my pasta master. So I don't know whether you a lot are the same, but you know, when you're in your job and you go on these uh professional development courses, it's like a half-day course on I don't know, fucking people management or fill in the kettle, whatever it is. You know, you work in an office, they're always sending you on fucking courses. And especially in the NHS, they're always sending on the course. It's always another course. And if I didn't get a certificate at the end, I was fuming. Oh no, I'm the same. It's almost like when you do when you do a race, you want the bling at the end. You want the medal. So you do a a professional development course. I want my fucking certificates. It's a bit stationary, you know. So it's put in a frame.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

Exactly, fills up space on my wall.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

So I would do the pasta course for the wine and the certificates.

SPEAKER_01 5:47

It was worth it. And it was something stupid, like twenty not even 20 euros.

SPEAKER_00 5:52

Unlimited wine. It was incredible.

SPEAKER_01 5:53

In Florence, I mean fucking. I know. I know. He's been on that chiance. It was so good. So I had the best time with my pasta pasta class. Very good.

SPEAKER_00 6:07

Been whispering for not so long, Jesus. So we're gonna we're gonna start. We're gonna start. I've got I'm gonna start with a little funny story scenes. I've got Facebook on. Exciting. So it's Saturday afternoon, and I'm gonna say the word porn. Porn out. Okay. So all them people on Saturday afternoon are now expecting something to talk about porn. Here we are, because me and Jim the other day, one of them nights had a bit of porn on. And um I I like I like female porn, as everybody knows. And it was really nice. The girls were very pretty and they had no top on and they were boobs exposed. Yeah. And they were they were rubbing tits. And I was like, oh, very nice this. Until God's go on. They started lactating. Oh my god. I wasn't expecting that. Oh my god, my fucking soul left me bossy. You all know I hate milk. You all know I hate milk. It's devil juice. Incredible. Well, now I know uh there's a worse way to consume, watch, enjoy, whatever milk. It's when you're watching porn and you're horny and you're not fucking expecting it because two pretty girls are rubbing each other so hard, they're lactating.

SPEAKER_01 7:33

That is wild.

SPEAKER_00 7:35

So not only did it stop there, it didn't stop there. Oh no. Jim couldn't turn it off quick enough. He was like, that fucking hell with the pad. Not quick enough for me to see one of the girls go. No. Bitty. Oh, sissy. I can't. Me mojo left the building.

SPEAKER_01 7:54

In that moment. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

Any ounce of horn I had in that moment left.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

Yeah, I bet I did.

SPEAKER_00 8:01

That was it. Dead. So part two. Part two of porno gate. Not part two. Next shag. Okay. Next shag. And a little bit of porn on. But sometimes I've like a little bit on the background. You know. Yeah. So on again. Anyway, I don't even know where Jim found this one from, to be honest with you. There's this girl, very pretty again, black bobbed hair, nice little fringe. Cat is. Sure. Cat is. Yeah. And this guy's in front of her, like standing with a massive erection. Okay. She's on her knees. Right. She's got a little bell. Quite cute actually. And she she has a little nibble on his cock. Then I turned my head for a minute. When I turned back, she had her face in the milk that was on the floor in front of her fella.

SPEAKER_01 8:57

Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 8:58

Just like that. Not the milk again. She's lapping the milk. And then with a creamy, milky mouth, gave her fella a blowjob. Oh my god! With a milky tongue.

SPEAKER_01 9:11

I bet your head absolutely fell off.

SPEAKER_00 9:13

I'm like, what is it? Are the algorithms now saying that I like milk porn because we've watched it once? Well, now I don't. Just getting exclusively milk. That right now. So the first thing I fucking did after that. Do you know what I did after that? Oh, go on. I cleared all the fucking kookies after I had. So milk porn didn't come on again. Ah. Honest to God.

unknown 9:35

Can't believe it.

SPEAKER_00 9:36

The first one, though, with the lactating ladies.

SPEAKER_01 9:38

You just weren't expecting it. That's a plot twist and a half. No. Nothing could have prepared me for what you were about to say.

SPEAKER_00 9:45

Wrong on every level. It was so bad. It was so bad. Anyway. This is a little bit controversial. Yeah, okay. I'm gonna say it anyway. Never shy from it. Yeah. So last year I um I was nominated for the British Podcast Awards. You actually nominate yourself for British Podcast Awards. And it's a very prestigious posh place in London. And uh there's lots of different categories. One, um oh god, I can't even. It wasn't Podcast of the Year, not that fucking good. Um it was the category, I think whatever category it was, lifestyle category or something. And then there's a like a listener's choice, and people can vote as well. Yeah, didn't really go with that because people get pissed off with phone. Anyway, so went in for it, you pay for it, and all the rest of it. And I didn't get through, which is fine. Because you know, these things are not precious. Anyway, comes to the ceremony, and uh I'm watching it all and everything. I see all the winners coming off, and um everybody who wins or has been nominated who's going up on stage or under a network BBC, Wandering, Global, Amazon, all that. Yeah, every single one. Of course. Maybe one or two who were really, really big, but maybe we're under network or sponsored. Yeah. Everybody. And everybody would have had probably quite big social media accounts. Yeah. So everybody who's been nominated, obviously, are then going to share that news on their social media. So I was like, oh, they haven't got an independent podcast category. Yeah. So it's all network. For those who don't know, and you haven't every wishing on before about it, it's me fucking pet hate. Um, that uh all of the accolades and everything go to people who don't need them. So they're already getting paid a wage by network to do a podcast. People do all the research for them, they do all the editing, producing, filming, everybody else does that. A presenter. They're just not just a presenter, because presenters obviously, you know, a little bit. You know what I mean? But they're not doing all the rest of it. Exactly. And they go up on stage, get their award and everything. And you know what? Some of them are great hosts and they deserve that. Okay. They really do. However, the awards, they need an independent podcast category because there's loads of podcasts out there, including ours, but oh my god, there's some amazing independent podcasts who don't have advertising, who don't have sponsors because, like us, they don't want advert ruining your viewing pleasure. Um, and they're not under networks getting paid, they do everything for themselves like we do. And they need a category for that to be recognised. Yeah. Because actually it's the independent podcasts that are the grassroots who are putting the graft in, learning their trade, and learning the hard way, if you like. And they're actually coming up with some really good stuff. Yeah. Really good stuff. Anyway, so after the podcast awards, I put a little note on Instagram and I said it'd be lovely if you could consider an independent podcast category going forward. Nothing. Not even a love. Of course. So I DM'd them. Because I think they'd messaged me like a little after-show thing with a name on it. And okay, it's not just a random message. Yeah. Message them. Would you consider an independent podcast category? Nothing. Okay. So then it came round to people them asking people, do you want to apply again this year? So I put a really nice email together and I said, you know, this is why you should consider it. You know, it's only one category. Absolutely. You represented all of us, like, you know, didn't get a response.

SPEAKER_01 13:09

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

So then the fourth time, about three or four weeks ago, it was a little reminder. Would you like to apply the British Podcast Awards? So then this last one, it wasn't nasty at all, but it wasn't quite so polite. Yeah. It wasn't nasty. And I just said, uh, actually, do you know what? Can um can you actually stop messaging me now? Fair enough. Because I I don't want to apply, because four times now I've said to you, um, you need to have this category. And you haven't even acknowledged it. Never mind replied. You haven't even acknowledged the fact that I've suggested this thing. Maybe come back to me and tell me why, you know. It could be it's just not feasible for you. Yeah. Or just say thanks for your consideration and we'll we'll think about it. We'll look into it for the future. Or fuck off, it's none of your business. Well, yeah. Anything, nothing.

SPEAKER_01 13:54

Just to ignore you is really rude, actually.

SPEAKER_00 13:56

So this girl came back and she just said, uh, thanks for your message. Uh, we've made a note of your message and we're gonna remove you from our mail list. Oh, is that it? Yeah. So basically, the British Podcast Awards don't know what I know about independent podcasts. The only one I know about the podcasts that are already out there, who've already got millions of followers, who don't need the money, who've got the followers to spread the word of the British Podcast Awards. Because British Podcast Awards, I've probably got about 100,000 more followers than you. Mm-hmm. Because I looked at their account recently. I'm like, love that form. Poor form.

unknown 14:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:33

So rather than go for all the celebrities out there, come to me, 155,000 followers on Facebook. There you go. I'll spread the word for you. Not now that you fucking ignored me.

SPEAKER_01 14:43

How rude of them, honestly. Don't do that. That's not cool.

SPEAKER_00 14:48

Out of fume. Do you know what? I'm actually not fuming anymore. Yeah. I was fuming at the time. Yeah. But I'm not fuming anymore. Otherwise, I'll probably rant him left, right, and centre on it, you know.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

I get ya.

SPEAKER_00 14:58

But I just thought, now that I'm calm and I'm not quite so fuming, I'm just gonna drop it in there. Yeah. Because we're live on Facebook. If anybody knows a British podcast award, feel free to tag them in this.

unknown 15:10

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

It just feels like such a missed opportunity for them.

SPEAKER_01 15:13

I think an independent.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

Well, I think more and more people are supporting um their like local shops. Exactly, that's what I mean. Obviously, yeah, we still go to the supermarkets and all that. Um, but like if there's a local butcher, I know some people are trying to use the local shops and stuff. Um and like if I'm buying BDSM KISS, I always buy off local crafters and I'm sure there's people out there that would love to support independent podcasts in the same way, now that they know that we literally do everything ourselves with no funding whatsoever. Um, and so for the British Podcast Awards to just recognise that category, it's almost saying to the people out there, you know, you have a go, you try, and you whatever it is that you want to do, you be a trailblazer. Yeah, it doesn't matter if you're independent and you don't know go for it. So by doing that, you're sending the right message out to people like us to not give up. It's not just about the big guys out there, yeah. The little guys can do it too because we are we're doing well. We're nearly three years in, and there's other independent podcasts out there that have gone even longer. Yeah. Longer than some of the ones that have been nominated for awards on there.

SPEAKER_01 16:21

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 16:22

So by doing that, they're just saying, no, don't give up. We recognise you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:27

Absolutely. But they don't.

SPEAKER_00 16:32

But we're gonna carry on regardless. Correct. However, there's an independent podcast awards this year. Oh stunning. Just for independence. Whether I get nominated or not, I'm gonna go down there and support it. Absolutely. Yeah, amazing. If you want to call it stunning. Yeah. Stunning. I've never need me soapbox any longer.

unknown 16:54

It's justified.

SPEAKER_00 16:55

I don't need my soapbox, but I do want to say um that we went to the uh Sexual Freedom Awards as well. And we were top three. Amazing. Didn't win, but we were top three. And uh cracking a little event, we went down in one day. Oh my god. Uh it was great, great performers and all that, you know, all about sexual freedom. Really, really, really great. As all content creators, sex workers, amazing, um, dancers, writers, and it was just it was just great. Really, very, very great nice. So now that I've stopped whistling and slaggering the bushes towards unbelievable. What can I do? A little on this day. Another wrong bit of paper. On this day, in 1928, a very famous lady was born. Um, who I think you'll know. Okay. So, I mean, she died very recently, but she was famous um in like the 80s and 90s, but her name is still synonymous with um talks around sex and sexual health. Okay. And just leading a healthy, sexy life and all that kind of thing. An advice lady, give an advice to people in America? No, go on. Jewish? I still don't know. Very little very little. Very little. Very little Jewish lady. I don't know. Anyone on Facebook getting this? Or don't know, we've got a bit of a slow connection, they might not be catching up. Go on, anyway, I might know the name. Dr. Ruth. Oh god! I know the name, yeah. Dr. Ruth. Okay. So she was born 4th of June 1928. And um, if you don't know, or you don't realise, maybe you know you're younger or you just don't know, um, she was quite a cultural phenomenon, really, um, around America, but then around the world, yeah, she started in America. Um, and every podcast out there in this sort of like if in this genre, if you like, TikTok, every corner of the sexy side of the internet, I think has brought Dr. Ruth up at some point. Because over the years she's given relationship advice, kink advice, orgasm advice, BTSM advice, dating advice. And she does it without pulling any punches. Uh-huh. So, back in the late 70s and 80s, when the when the word sex was barely even uttered, you wouldn't say the word sex out loud in the general public domain, really. In comes this four foot seven. Oh my god, how small she was. Four foot seven. Yes. Jewish lady, born in Germany, still has a German accent. A little side note, um, she actually she was sent off from Germany um during wartime. Uh-huh. Oh gosh, they call the transportation, uh, kinder transport. She went to Switzerland. Okay. But her parents stayed behind and they actually got killed in the Holocaust. Awful. Yeah. So, you know, we're talking about a woman who's probably uh been through, seeing the loss, yeah, hardened up, but more importantly, probably has an attitude of life is short. Absolutely. And you know, let's live it. I think this is probably where all this comes from with her beginning in life, in that God, I know I didn't make it. I was very lucky.

SPEAKER_01 20:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 20:12

And all the people that didn't, and so fuck it, I'm gonna live how I want. Good for her. Yeah. So she started out um on uh a radio show, and they only gave her 15 minutes air time initially because um actually it wasn't a radio show, it was a TV show, and they only give her 15 minutes air time. Anyway, um it went nuts. It went absolutely nuts. A tiny little shout went nuts. And before the newest, um people were film um telephoning in left, right, and centre, asking questions, wanting to speak to Dr. Ruth.

SPEAKER_01 20:46

Interesting.

SPEAKER_00 20:47

Producers were not expecting it at all. And people were saying like they were pulling over in the car to listen to her and stuff like that. She really engaged people, and she was asking things that haven't been asked before. Things like, I've never had an orgasm. Yeah, is that normal? What can I do? How can you help it? My husband wants to wear my underwear. That was another one. I think I might be gay. I'm ashamed of my fantasies. This is the 70s and 80s gang. And people are phoning in on the radio, and eventually they were watching it on TV, phoning in, and she was answering these questions in a very calm, matter-of-fact way. Brilliant. Yeah, normalizing it. I mean, she wasn't quite there because the world wasn't ready. Of course. Some of us works, obviously, we were phoning in. Yeah. But there's part of the world that absolutely weren't ready. Yeah. This little tiny Jewish lady to start saying the word orgasm, clitoris, penis, all that on TV and on radio. They weren't quite ready for it. And she did brush upon a BDSM subject sometimes as well. I don't think it was her specialism as such. I don't get the feeling that it was her thing, but she was educated enough to be able to give good, balanced, educated answers on it. Yeah. And I have looked at some of her back catalogue just as a little bit of a research. It's been a long time since I've seen Dr. Ruth. And she did brush on um fantasies, consensual power dynamics and role play as well. Yeah, so she did touch on those things. Yeah. So obviously, this was network telly in the 80s, and you know, she wasn't sitting there discussing rope suspension in detail, you know. But she was normalizing these conversations and telling people their fantasies weren't wrong. They weren't they weren't wrong-ins, they weren't evil, as some people would say at the time. Yeah. And religious groups claimed that she was destroying morality. Yeah. Because religious people don't have sex.

SPEAKER_01 22:45

Apparently not.

SPEAKER_00 22:47

And you know what? I bet you half these fucking people are buying their books.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

Yeah. Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 22:51

So in public, it's like it's wrong. You should say an orgasm on television. But then they're scurrying off to the local bookshop to go and buy a signed copy of the lady as well. So ridiculous. Yeah. So, anyway, um, she disarmed a lot of people on TV. She made uncomfortable conversations feel safe and comfortable. And actually, without people like Dr. Ruth, I genuinely don't think conversations around Kink and sexual identity or even basic sexual well-being would have been as open as they are now. She was definitely a trailblazer of her time. She wasn't embarrassed, ashamed, afraid of tackling those difficult subjects.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

And I think you know, it's down to people like her that we can talk about things like this.

SPEAKER_01 23:42

And isn't that amazing?

SPEAKER_00 23:43

It's great. It's really, really great. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:45

What a woman.

SPEAKER_00 23:46

Anyway, she died uh July 12th, 2024.

SPEAKER_01 23:49

Oh, okay. It's not that long ago. No.

SPEAKER_00 23:51

Age 96.

SPEAKER_01 23:52

Oh, good for her. That's a good age, innit?

SPEAKER_00 23:55

What a grand old age. She she lived a life, eh? She was amazing. What I love about that is, you know, she was um evacuated. She was taken on these kinder transportation trains to Switzerland, you know, taken away from her family. With probably places of the families that you didn't know.

SPEAKER_01 24:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:13

Experienced things you shouldn't have experienced. She lived a life, man. She truly has. What a woman. 96 years dating back from what was it, 1928? Yeah. The things she's seen, the inventions, the wars, you know, people have lived and died. Absolutely. And all the stories. So actually, um, I've never read any of her books. No. And having just done the research on this and watched some of her back catalogue with some of it a bit grainy as well, it's quite funny. Of course. Quite funny, really. But oh, I really, really want to read her books now. Yeah. She sounds fabulous. Yeah. So, um, on the 4th of June, happy birthday, Dr. Ruth. What a woman. Yeah. Right then. So, another little on this today. Oh, hang on a minute. I'm on the right page. I'm on the right page. Yes, I am. Right.

SPEAKER_01 25:05

Fabulous.

SPEAKER_00 25:06

You're not old enough to remember Beta Max videos. No. Have you heard of Peter Max videos? I have heard of Peter Max, yes. So the people who are my age and older out there, you might have even used a Betamax. Why am I talking about Betamax? Don't switch off. It's not boring. Because pawned comes into it. Of course it does. Of course it does. That's a little slurp. Hang on a minute. So I remember when I was about five. My dad winning a bet on the horses. That's what he did at the time. A decent win. And he came in, rather than giving mum the money to go buy food or whatever. No. He bought a Beta Max video recorder. And they were really expensive at the time. They were really expensive. Top of the range, just come out. And my mum was like, that the fuck no, have you bought this for? Anyway. And so you could buy Beta Max or you could hire Beta Max videos to put in there. They were a little bit smaller than the VHS. Yeah. But they were a bit more expensive. Anyway, that was a that was it for a little while and then swooped in VHS, which were made by JVC. They were. Why am I talking about this? Because everybody thought that Beta Max was going to be the girl standard. Okay. It was better quality than VHS. Okay. And rather than try and change their product, reduce the price, maybe, they were like, no, people will pay for quality. Betamax was made by Sony. Right. And Sony were like, no, we're not going to depreciate our brand. Um, we are going to maintain the quality and the price because eventually people realise that VHS is just subscribed. Anyway, that didn't happen, obviously. Of course. Beta Max could only record for an hour and they were more expensive to buy. VHS, they could record for two, and then three, and then four hours. Which meant that people could record their their TV at home when they missed programmes. Yeah. Obviously, it's piracy, you shouldn't do it, but they did.

SPEAKER_02 27:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:03

And the porn industry were like that then. Of course. Great. Because they didn't have to try and squish in uh a gangbang into an hour. You know, with the storyline build up as you always have. I hate that. Why do they have a storyline? Some pornos are like, I don't know, 20 minutes long. Yeah. The first 10 minutes is a story. Yeah, sitting there with the clothes on, get to know each other. I don't want to know your name, if you've got a cast, what you had for tea, what bush you got in here. I don't want to know any of that. Just get your kiss off and start fucking. I don't need all this shit. Do you do though? Yeah. I mean, I don't know whether any of you watch porn, but this is what happens. I just like, yeah. So if it was an hour, they only have an hour on Bizamax. There's no time for you know what number bush you have.

SPEAKER_01 27:49

Oh, we still sat chatting. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:51

But with VHS, they could chass all they want and shag and have a little smoke afterwards if they wanted to with four hours. And because it was cheap, uh the the the cassettes were cheap, the the uh porn industry were buying them in bulk, they could mass distribute them and people could buy them cheaply as well. Yeah. Which then meant that people wanted the VHS recorders more supply and demand. So shops stopped selling Beta Max, they started only supplying um VHS, which then basically made Beta Max you know defunct, if you like. So the only people that were using Beta Max then were the film industry, not porn, but you know, like for advertising stuff like that, who needed the high quality stuff. And I think, like some wedding photographers at the time were still using Beta Max for the quality.

SPEAKER_02 28:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:43

And how when do you think Beta Max actually, well Sony, eventually shelved the idea and thought, well, VHS are everywhere. What is the point? There's only this tiny little niche of people using our videos. When do you think this stuff I'm gonna say it's later than I think? So it came out around um late 1970s, early 80s. I'm gonna say about 2004. Like quite late. Okay. So Betamax Sony eventually went out of circulation in 2016.

SPEAKER_01 29:13

Eh?

SPEAKER_00 29:15

Oh god, I was giving late. Oh no, but dear life, man. The world will change, they'll appreciate our video. But no, we're all just shallow as fuck. Yeah, and we don't want your quality beta max, we want your mass-produced VHS because it's cheaper. Absolutely. We don't want any of it now to stream it. Fair point. So there you go, 4th of June 1977 was when VHS was unveiled to the public. Love it. That's why I was telling the story. It wasn't just a random Beta Max versus uh VHS porn story. There was relevance. Yeah. And my last one, it's very quick, but I wanted to do it because of your Salem.

SPEAKER_01 29:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 29:57

So you probably don't know this. Okay. Hang on. A few more pages. I didn't have to go through all my notes because I remembered it all. I love it. Love it. So. 4th of June. Okay. Is National Hug Your Cat Day. I'm so excited. I love that.

unknown 30:16

Unreal?

SPEAKER_00 30:17

So, it sounds very lovely and wholesome. Um, until you remember cats can be quite psychotic at times.

SPEAKER_01 30:24

Mine's a made of mittens, yeah. But we worship them. We do.

SPEAKER_00 30:28

Don't we? We worship them. I love mine. Yeah. I was a cat person for years until I got my first dog, and then that was it. Don't get me wrong, I don't not like cats. I love cats. People have got cats, love them. And love cuddling cats and all that, but I'd rather have a dog.

SPEAKER_01 30:41

I get it.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

Only because I've I've just found dogs a little bit more um what's the words I'm looking for? Um unselfish. Yeah. Yeah. Unselfish actually liked me being the room. Said hello when I came in the room. Didn't I you know what I mean? Cats are just selfish. They are. Everything is on cat terms. Yes. But when they give you the affection, it's not the best thing in the world. It is, it is. Yeah. Anyway. So it's national hug your cat day. A few little facts you all know, I'm sure you know, because you know you're clever and you've got a cat. So medieval Yoruba. What happened to cats, which do you reckon um affected the plague?

SPEAKER_01 31:24

Do you remember this?

SPEAKER_00 31:25

They killed them all.

SPEAKER_01 31:26

I'll say it didn't go well, did it?

SPEAKER_00 31:28

Poor cats. Yeah, basically it was ordered that all the cats should be killed. Yeah. Which they think uh helped spread plague because the cats weren't able to kill the cats? Absolutely. Yes. Um and what else have we got? What else have I got down here as cats? Victorians in general loved cats. There's been, I've actually found, you know, the um Victorian death photos. You've seen some with cats in. Yes, so have I. I've seen some of live and stuffed cats. Yes, me too. Yeah. And actually, still people now tactider me their pets. I would totally do that. Wouldn't you tactider me?

SPEAKER_01 32:02

I think that would help me heal because I'm I'm very much like, oh, she's in a box and and you never kind of get that detachment. We've I think I've spoken to you before that we have a terrible relationship with death in this country. And I think when you look at other cultures who are a bit more confrontational with death, they go with it a lot better. An awful lot better. So I if I could afford it, because it's expensive now, but if I could afford to tax dermia when she goes, I absolutely would. I preserved my tarantulas, they're still with me. Well, just start saving off. No, it's bad. No, I totally get it.

SPEAKER_00 32:29

Sorry, saying I should put a pound in the Salem Death fund. Stroke your cats instead of five in the Salem death fund.

SPEAKER_01 32:37

But I totally would. I think it's a much healthier one to do it.

SPEAKER_00 32:40

If you ever do, I know a lady. Stunning. I'm not saying that you should um make taxidermy your cast into a stripper with a strap on or whatever. Yeah. But I'm sure she could taxidermy Salem into a nice. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:53

Hell yeah. I'm hoping we've got at least another like 15 years with that kind of thing. How old's Salem? She's only four. She's a bit easy.

SPEAKER_00 32:59

Okay, I feel a bit bad now talking about taxidermy and your cass and death.

SPEAKER_01 33:02

Yeah, but like if the more you talk about death, the healthier your relationship is with it. So I'm a big advocate of that.

SPEAKER_00 33:08

Yes. Have you seen there's um some really old displays from years ago, I think early 1900s? Of the taxidermied cats who were playing poker.

unknown 33:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:21

I think was the one um drinking tea or sort of a little tea party, playing poker, that kind of thing. Yeah. They did all sorts of things with cats back then. Obviously, cats go back to ancient Egypt. They do, they were very loved in ancient Egypt. A lot of superstition, your familiars, Salem. Salem. Obviously, yeah. Um and you know what? Even though we love cats, they are a little bit annoying, a little bit freaky.

SPEAKER_01 33:50

Yeah. Like they stir into corners. Mine gets called menace quite a lot.

SPEAKER_00 33:54

She's quite menacing, and she is a bit creepy. You know, you sit there, mind your own business, and the cat suddenly starts looking at a spot on the blank wall. Uh-huh. The tail starts swishing, and the tackles get off me like that. Stop that right now. Fucking ghost indicator. And then also, the other things is like you go out for five minutes and then you come in, and there's there's fucking shit everywhere because the cat in that moment has had a five-minute Maddie. Oh yeah. And it's gone like that. She does, she whizzes around the mouse. Circles around the place. They're absolutely nuts, aren't they? And then the best thing is that they bring you like half a mouse.

SPEAKER_01 34:32

Mine's an indoor-only cat, it was in the contract, so she can't go outside. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:35

Oh, well, my brother.

SPEAKER_01 34:36

But I get dead spiders. I get dead spiders quite a lot. But the problem is I love spiders. So it's very inconvenient. Like, see them.

SPEAKER_00 34:43

Here are our friends. I go nuts when a somebody, not even a cat, a person, kills a spider. Yeah. Can't do it. I didn't speak to my ex for three days.

SPEAKER_01 34:52

Good on you.

SPEAKER_00 34:53

I know it's petty, but it's the way you did it. Okay. So I've talked about my ex an awful lot lately. Psychotherapy. It's like cutting it out your system. Yeah, I'm expelling all in the whole book about my exes. Go for it. You did. So he knew very well that I really didn't like it when people kill spiders. I really didn't like it. There's no need for it. No, there isn't space. If you're afraid of spiders, I get it, but I will take the spider house. Don't kill it. Yeah. Yeah. And he'd just you just kill them. You just kill them for killing sake. No need. Did you say he was afraid of them? He wasn't. Because he got close enough up to Exactly. If you're genuinely afraid, you'd be in the room. You wouldn't be in the room reading the same air as an eight-legged fucking little thing. But no, you'd get right up close, whack with a threat or whatever. Gross. Anyway, there's one day, big spider in the house that I'd been sort of following. Gave it a little name and everything.

SPEAKER_01 35:44

Oh, I name mine, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:44

Yeah. Okay. And I'd say look on the world, go right, all right. All right. Anyway, one day it's there on the floor and I go, Oh, there's my spider. Got his boot and stood right on it in front of me. No. Gross because in my mind, this is the guy that was controlling and all the rest of it. So it was a double whammy. He did it because he hated spiders, but he did it because he was a controller fucker. Yeah. Rose. And the spider's dead on the floor. Well cried, which is stupid. But being torn with this thing, yeah. I was so annoyed. So annoyed. And I literally didn't speak to him for three days. No.

SPEAKER_02 36:20

Don't blame, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:20

And our Dan did something similar as well. He was a young. He was young, 13, 12, something like that. He killed a spider. And I went, right, that's the last time you're going to do that in my presence. Don't ever do that ever again. But I'm afraid of them. You're not. You've got that from your dad. Yes. Because if you're afraid of them, you wouldn't be able to sleep exactly while the spider up in the corner. It's bullshit, mate. Yeah. Don't kill spiders.

SPEAKER_01 36:45

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 36:46

And he hasn't done it in my presence since. And you know what? It was quite sweet. He said to me recently there was a spider in his house with his girlfriend. And uh he went, You're dead proud of my mum. He went, I actually got a glass and it's disposed of the spider and threw it out the window because she didn't like it. I was like, very good. I taught you well.

SPEAKER_01 37:04

Good. Good. I used to be severely arachnophobic. I don't know if I ever told you this. Like I was severely. Oh, could you be arachnophobic? No, because until I was 18, I was severely like couldn't look at pictures of spiders, nothing. I was really bad. When I was in uni, I did a course on phobias. Um, and I left that lecture, went straight to a pet shop in North Wales and said, let me hold a tarantula, and they did. And this spider crawled over my hand. Within those maybe three or four seconds, it was on me like that. No problem. I was absolutely fine. Ended up getting two pet tarantulas. So I loved them very dearly. They were called tarantula Lansbury and Fuzzlight. Yeah, they were my babies, and I loved them. So I am the spider girly. This on my arm was tarantula.

SPEAKER_00 37:48

Okay, can we just just the names? Just stop at a moment. Can we just give the the the room to these names, please? Can we just give these names the airtime that they deserve? So your pet tarantula names are Tarantula Lansbury and Fuzz Light, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:10

Because he was fluffy.

SPEAKER_00 38:13

They were great. No, no. Great names. No, no, no, no. This isn't like me going, what the fuck? This is me like amazing.

SPEAKER_01 38:20

They're quite something, aren't they? They're fantastic names for the spider.

SPEAKER_00 38:24

Oh, fucking high five.

SPEAKER_01 38:26

My logic is you give them a stupid name, the less scary to people who maybe would be a bit intimidated by them. So it makes people laugh and they're like, it's tarangula. It's tarangela Lansbury. Tarangela. She was my baby. I love Fuzz. Fuzz Lightyear. Light year. Very, very loved they were. Do you know what?

SPEAKER_00 38:43

That's just maybes either.

SPEAKER_01 38:45

You're gonna be thinking about them, aren't you?

SPEAKER_00 38:47

Tarangela Lansbury and Fuzz Lightyear. Correct. They were great movies.

SPEAKER_01 38:53

So proud of myself.

SPEAKER_00 38:54

Oh my god. Anyway. So my cat story now has just been overshadowed by overshadowed by Tirandoma Lansbury.

SPEAKER_01 39:04

By my two dead pets, whom I loved very much.

unknown 39:08

But everyone loved them.

SPEAKER_01 39:09

Ace. Give them a stupid name. The less scary. Okay. Well give the spiders in your house stupid names. Makes them less scary. There you go. Absolutely love her.

SPEAKER_00 39:18

Well, on that spider bombish. I didn't know you were arachaphobic because obviously. I was just bad. I was really bad. Madga. Well, anyway, we're going to move on from spiders and fucking cats because that didn't matter. I mean, the spiders just took over the whole fucking screen. I think we've just got the title of our episode. Yeah. Absolutely. Time of two spiders.

SPEAKER_01 39:39

I love it. I love it. That's phenomenal.

SPEAKER_00 39:43

Oh, it's so good. Okay, well, fucking hell. I'm going to leave that there and hand over to you for your segment.

SPEAKER_01 39:50

Right? Do you want the little segments or the normal size segments? I do the little one first. The little one. Yeah. I feel like you will know this, but I don't know if everyone at home will know this. Oh god, I feel like I'm being tested. Do you know where chiropractic medicine comes from? Do you know? No, not that. That's your job. Oh. Although, do you know? The muffin man. The muffin man. I felt very wrong being in the wrong way around. We're not doing that again. I'll do that again. No. No, thank you. I feel like. But do you know where the history of chiropractic medicine comes from? Do you know the origin story?

SPEAKER_00 40:20

Chiropractic. The name's Greek. Okay. Yeah. Um.

SPEAKER_01 40:27

Do you know who invented it and how we came up with it?

SPEAKER_00 40:31

No. Okay. Okay. Oh, I'm so excited because I didn't know that. Because I've got, I've got loads of info that I don't need. Yeah. It's stored in file and cabinets. So when somebody asks me something like that, uh actually literally do this, you know. I've told you do this. I should do this. I've got a file and cabinet. I'll put it in the day. I'd go do. Yeah, it's not there. Fair enough.

SPEAKER_01 40:55

Fair enough. So it was invented by a guy called D.D. Palmer in 1895, or was it? Actually, what happened was he was a very um spiritual guy. He believed in magnetic healing. So he'd put magnets on someone to heal them. Yeah. I'm down with that. You're into that, yeah. Um, and then he did a seance and a ghost of Dr. Jim Atkinson who died 50 years earlier, went, tell you what, you start cracking bones, laughing. And that's what he did. A ghost told him to do it. That's where we get chiropractic medicine from.

SPEAKER_00 41:27

So the name chiropractic. It does come from the Greek. Yes. But he sort of invented it as a as a as an actual practice. Yeah. Practice.

SPEAKER_01 41:36

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of of healing people. So he did a science. This doctor came through and said, This is how you do it in the science. But he was the only person there. He then went to it was the janitor of wherever he was working, like the caretakery guy, uh, who had been having a bad back. So he was like, let me give this a go. Cracked him. The fellow was like, Oh, much better. That's where we get it from. How mad. So he then opened a school a couple of years later, was starting to teach people. No one had a license. Everyone was just learning from this man who has had this vision of a ghost. Cracking bones all over the place. And we haven't really changed how we do it now since then. Isn't that mad? That was a little really, really short one. But yeah, it came to him from a ghost. Uh it is classed as a spiritual practice still. Is it? Yeah. So you have a very much like the therapy approach, but rooted in the religious and spiritual side of it. Because he was a deeply, deeply spiritual man. Well, I didn't know that. Ah, there you go. I was like, you might know? No. But I also only found that out this week. I've learned something new. Yeah? Have you been to a chiropractor?

SPEAKER_00 42:43

No, I'd love to. Oh, good. Chiropractor is really good. Um, I'm gonna give a little shout-out because why the fuck not? There's a chiropractor osteopath. Yes. In West Derby, in Liverpool, on Town Row. And the one of the osteopaths there is called Pascal O'Driscoll. Great! Great name. Great name. Obviously Irish. Uh-huh. And great guy, really good at what he does. Um, and he he chats away, like a proper Irish person. Gabby away, all right, you know. And um maybe odd little swearie word in there when she when you know that you can. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you if you drop a little F-bomb, then he loosens up a little bit. Okay, yeah. He's not unprofessional, he's not unprofessional, but you'll talk on your level, quite like that. I like that as well. And uh he cracks you all over the place and uses this like eucalyptus-y type stuff and all that. I've been through for a few things now. Uh slip disc on my back a couple of times, hips, um hamstring injury. Very good. Pascal, O'Driscal, West Derby off your past. Sounds fine. Liverpool. Anyway, over to you.

SPEAKER_01 43:50

That's that's all my segment on chiropractic medicine, but I have a next one.

SPEAKER_00 43:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:54

Who's your favourite ninja turtle fake? Do you have one?

SPEAKER_00 43:56

No, I've never washed it money.

SPEAKER_01 43:58

Anyway, Michelangelo's mine, so we're gonna talk. Michelangelo the artist.

SPEAKER_00 44:04

Just pissed all over that dance hell.

SPEAKER_01 44:06

While I was in Florence, I was accumulating the Ninja Turtles. So I was like, ah, there's a Michelangelo, there's a Leonard. They're on a way round, collectors, all the ninja turtles. My last one to collect was Raphael. Got him in the Effizi. Very exciting. Was he in demand elsewhere? Was he the back of the thing? He must have been. He must have been one of the faves. He must be. He must be. But I had a lovely time. And I went and hung out with the grave of Michelangelo. So I'd like to talk about him because in Santa Crochet is one of the like Basilica E type things in Florence. You can go in. People were paying to go in, and we were like, what's in there? Galileo's graves in there. So I stood next to Galileo. And in my glorious crochet top I'd made myself, I went and stood next to Michelangelo. I was like, oh, two artists at work. Didn't you put a picture on of that on Instagram?

SPEAKER_00 44:49

Yep, he said you've crocheted your own top as well. I did.

SPEAKER_01 44:52

I was very proud of myself. I love that. So there's a lot people don't know about Michelangelo. What do you know about Big Gay Jesus and the Sistine Chapel? Big gay Jesus. No. Okay. So Michelangelo, gay man. We love him. I love Michelangelo. I think he was one of the best artists that has ever lived. There's a reason he's as famous as he is. Can I say something really controversial? Not about Michelangelo?

SPEAKER_00 45:16

Okay, because don't burst that bubble, mate, because I love Michelangelo.

SPEAKER_01 45:18

I love Michelangelo. Okay. Leonardo da Vinci was not as good as people thought he was. He was revolutionary at the time, but it's maybe time to let go. After seeing about five pieces of because when when were you in the Effisa, you're looking at these amazing things, you're saying Botticelli, I love Botticelli. I absolutely love Michelangelo. Donatello bits were in there, just all the ninja tails were in there, um, including Leonardo. When you go in, you're like, lad, these proportions are off. What is going on? And they may have been some of his earlier works. I think he did get better. He did get better, I agree. But maybe those earlier ones we need to stop putting him on a pedestal just because he's Leonardo Division.

SPEAKER_00 45:54

Did you see some of the early stuff of a lot of the famous artists?

SPEAKER_01 45:57

Yeah, I did a deep dive on Michelangelo and he was still amazing.

SPEAKER_00 46:00

So Michelangelo was uh, I think a genius. Yes. From very, very, very young. Excellent. Yes. But when you look at some of the arcists out there, you know, there's a progression. Yes. As with a lot of art, there is. Yeah. Uh like Leonardo, though, some of this has actually been put out there in galleries. Some of the other ones, the early work hasn't. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 46:20

Um, but I don't I I quite like I don't it's not that I've got an absolute disdain for him, it's just my thing is that early work you wouldn't put anywhere if he wasn't Leonardo da Vinci.

SPEAKER_00 46:33

Yeah. And the work of that time was all about precision, yes, depth, proportion. It didn't have. No. So I don't I do know where you're coming from. I do know where you're coming from, but Michelangelo was a genius.

SPEAKER_01 46:47

Michelangelo is my guy. I love this man. Um, so he actually became an apprentice very late. He was 13, wasn't he? So I was like, huh, that's interesting. And he basically progressed really quickly. They were normally very young about seven or they really, really were. So he was actually very late to this party. Um he gets that little bit older. He obviously his main thing is that he makes sculptures. He wasn't a painter by nature, which you will obviously know, um, which I thought was really interesting. And he gets commissioned to make David. Do you know what David was for? No. It was meant to go on top of the cathedral in Florence. And then they looked at that and went, That yeah, come on. I I got you the little finish, go on and I'll go with. They went, That's a little bit big. It is 17 feet. Like a ridiculous amount of tons. It's something stupid, it's massive, and he's way bigger than I imagined him to be. Um, and they were like, How are we gonna get that on top of the cathedral? Yeah, sack that off. We're actually gonna put him in um by Palazzo Vecchia, which is uh for anyone who plays Assassin's Creed, where you meet Ezio's dad in Florence. Um, so you go there, and that is where he originally was. He's now inside the academia gallery um because he was getting rain damage. So that is why he's now inside a gallery, because he was outside for years and years and years. Um would you like to show, before I move on from David, would you like to show the little present I got you? So City Wednesday brought me back a little pretty.

SPEAKER_00 48:08

I did. It's a fridge baglet, which I love. It's green, which is perfect. And um it's got one of my favourite things on it. And you know, she obviously knows it very well. Um and I think you're gonna love it too. It's the veed. I'm gonna I'll I'll um do a close-up on that so everybody can see. So basically it's um it's a cock on balls. Um David? With of David, but it's like it's got a hairy mound, yes. It's got like a little hole in the peen.

SPEAKER_01 48:47

It's details.

SPEAKER_00 48:48

I just I I quite like the little details and he's got a he's got a quite distinctive bell end.

SPEAKER_01 48:53

You can tell it's uh inspired by Michelangelo himself.

SPEAKER_00 48:59

So I love it, thank you very much. It'll go on my fridge.

SPEAKER_01 49:02

You're very, very welcome. I saw it and couldn't leave it. I was like, green is the colour.

SPEAKER_00 49:07

Mang on, your words were who would appreciate a fish magnet with a dick on it and it's green. It's green.

SPEAKER_01 49:14

Basically, yeah. And I was like, well, it it can't stay in Florence, and I'd only seen the one in that colour. So I was like, well, your colour would be. It truly was meant to be. I'm so appreciative. So that's David, where David is meant to go. Then he gets commissioned by the Pope. Pope Julius II. Don't know much about Pope Julius II, but he was a Pope at that time. They were all a bit scandalous and stuff anyway. Yeah. Uh it's like the Pope's Dick bathroom. I'm a bit invested in the Pope's Dick. No about this. No? No! Right. There's a bathroom in the Vatican that is just covered in frescoes of like sex and dick. It's like a porn bathroom from a Pope years ago. And it's still there. Google it. Pope's porn bathroom. Mad. I don't even allowed. Well, popes can do what they want, really, because they're the direct line to Glad, aren't they? So they if God says you want a dick bathroom, they go, Yeah, sure. Is that not a bit hypocritical? A bit. A be, yeah.

unknown 50:09

Just a tiny little bit.

SPEAKER_01 50:10

Okay, I'm trying my faith is trying not to judge. Yes. But I'll go and look it up on night. Go go and look up the Pope's dick bathroom, everyone. Did you know this? So, um, he basically summoned Michelangelo to room because at this point Michelangelo has started painting and he's doing a lot of religious-based paintings. Um, but Michelangelo is kind of having a bit of a relationship going on. It's in the early stages. Michelangelo's getting older now. This guy is in his twenties, uh, but Michelangelo is that little bit older, so he's in his like 40s, early 50s. So he gets summoned to Rome and they say, Oh, we've got a chapel we need you to paint. The Sistine Chapel, of course. So he paints the ceiling, which is very iconic. Most people will recognise the Sistine Chapel ceiling. Um, have you ever been? Uh I haven't. No. So I have. My dad got the whole Sistine Chapel told off because you're not allowed to take pictures in there. Oh. Because, interestingly, for those who don't know, uh, a Japanese artist basically touched her up and and filled in a couple of details on it in the last however many years. Um, and so they've copyrighted it. It's copyrighted by Japan. So you can't take pictures of the Sistine Chapel ceiling without permission now. Why didn't they think about this before they asked them to do it in the first place? I don't know. But my dad took a picture of it and then got the whole, like, there's a voice that comes across the chapel of this is a reminder, you must not take pictures. Like, Dad, there's a guard behind you, they've pressed the button.

SPEAKER_00 51:37

Okay, so I've always assumed that was because of the flash effect and the paint. Nope, because of copyright. Wild!

SPEAKER_01 51:47

Wild! Well, how fucking stupid are they allowing that to happen? One of the most famous paintings in the world, I would argue as well.

SPEAKER_00 51:53

How stupid are they to unbelievable?

SPEAKER_01 51:55

Absolutely unbelievable, but that was obviously painted originally by Michelangelo. Yeah. Uh and so he does um there's nine different segments that he paints. The originally asked him to do 12, and he goes, I'll do nine. We'll see how we get on. So he does um three were the creation of the world, so Adam, touchy, touchy finger. Yeah, yeah. Um, three were Adam and Eve, and three were of Noah. Yeah. Don't really know why he threw Noah. I know he's working his way through Genesis, but Joseph and his dream coat could have been on there, surely. Anyway. Um but just not Philip Schofield. Yeah. Give us Donnie Osmond's or not at all. He's my favourite Mormon. Um anyway. It was very controversial because Michelangelo put women in these patrons. Yeah. And it just wasn't the dumb thing. But then, um, he so it took him a little while to paint it. Not as long as you'd think, to be fair, but he did take a year off between 1510 and 1511 because he wasn't getting paid, so he went on strike. I love him.

SPEAKER_02 52:52

I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_01 52:53

I love him. Yeah, he went on strike. So he painted between 1508 and 1512, uh, but went on strike for the year.

SPEAKER_00 52:59

So I knew that there was a break. I just thought it was like, you know, fuck on, I need a break.

SPEAKER_01 53:03

No, he went on strike. Because he wasn't getting paid. I'm a Vatican. So at this point, he's reached his 60s, he's getting on, right? And they say to him, that big wall there, we need you to do a painting. So he does The Last Judgment, which is one of my favourite paintings and by far one of the most impressive paintings I've ever seen. So when he gets to painting Jesus, for those who haven't seen it, it's beautiful. You've got all sorts going on around the edges, right in the middle is a very white and ginger, Jesus. That sounds a bit strange. Yeah. Yeah. So he goes to the Pope at the time and he's like, Look, this is your fella. How do you want me to paint? He's important to you. Michelangelo isn't, although he paints a lot of religious things, he's not a religious man. The Pope says, Imagine the most beautiful man you have ever seen in your life. He's just he's a work of art in himself. The Witcher. Paint him. Henry Cavill. Valid? Henry Cavill would be my totally, totally get it.

SPEAKER_00 54:04

I'd fucking bathe this piece.

SPEAKER_01 54:06

I'll be a Mary Magdalene. We love this. I love this. Oh, this is my kind of conversation. So what Michelangelo does is he goes, Oh, my fella, Tomato Cavalieri. He's the most beautiful man I've ever seen. So he paints big game Jesus on the wall in the Sistine Chapel. That's his fella.

SPEAKER_00 54:25

Okay. Okay. So did they get on to the fact that he'd painted his cruelty? Afterwards, yes.

SPEAKER_01 54:30

Afterwards, they oh, because he's already painted at this point, and they're like, hang on, because Tomato Cavalieri becomes a bit of a socialite over the time. People get to know him and they're like, hang on. Yeah. That's you! Yeah. Even down to the proportions of the body, everything about it is Tommaso Cavalieri. Absolutely phenomenal. Years later, Michelangelo has passed away at this point, right? Um, but Big Gay Jesus is still there. A new Pope comes in. He's more conservative than the last Pope. He does not like that there is a naked gay man on his wall. So that's why now when you look at the picture of the Last Judgment, you'll see they've all got things like draped over them. So he does he can see the gay man, just not the gay man dick.

unknown 55:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 55:13

That's Big Gay Jesus in the Sistine Chapel. Isn't it? I didn't know. Yeah. So next time you look at the uh The Last Judgment, beautiful pictures. In the same way again. No, I'm always like, oh, Tommaso is Michelangelo's fella. What a lovely thing. It's just immortalised in history. Yeah, definitely. As someone that you probably wouldn't have heard of without Michelangelo.

SPEAKER_00 55:33

Beautiful story. So the moral of that story is if you're the Pope, be more specific. If you don't want to gain Jesus.

SPEAKER_01 55:38

With his dick out in the Sistine Chapel, the holiest part of. Keep the dick out. Well, I mean, they've got a dick bathroom. They might as well just keep the whole thing. I don't understand the thing with the battery. How can you have the bathroom and not that? Let a matto, let it breathe. Do you know what I mean? Definitely. And they were my segments for today.

SPEAKER_00 55:55

Excellent. Well, there are some things in there that I did not know about Michelangelo. And I didn't know about the dick bathroom. No, you go and Google it. Do you know what? I've literally had to really restrain myself from getting my phone was going. Yeah, it's problematic. Dick bathroom. Dead interesting. So, what I'm going to do because I'm a little bit better at this now. Yeah. When I'm talking about things, I'm going to start flashing up some photos on the screen. And it's not a big massive thing to do. I just wanted to make sure I've got everything else right. So I am going to find a photo of the dick bathroom and stick it on for everybody as I see. Most of photos are a little bit grainy, but you can see it.

SPEAKER_01 56:28

You can see what's going on in the frescoes. Yes, you can see what's going on in the frescoes in the Pope's bathroom. That's nuts. Unbelievable. It's not even allowed, man. I d I d I don't know. Although, to be fair, this new Pope, I can't believe I'm siding with him because he's declared war on AI. Has he? He has. He's not a fan of Trump either, is he? No, he hates him as brilliant. No, they hate each other. It's absolutely fantastic. Of him as like blows me noggin. Absolutely blows my mind. But I I, as someone who was brought up Catholic, I'm just like, keep that away from me as I've got older, because it's just it is not for me. They hate the gays, and therefore we're not friends. Um I cannot believe I am siding with the Pope.

unknown 57:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:10

But his war on AI is fair. So he's written an encyclical. So basically, a pope will do like maybe a couple in their lifetime as Pope. But this Pope is an academic, like, he's got degrees in maths and stuff. He's like genuinely quite a clever guy, to be fair. Um, and he has written his first encyclical after being in for about a year, and the whole thing is dedicated to why AI is terrible for humanity. Because you are a human, you have a brain, you we make our we always have through history, and that's what he's saying. And I'm like, I'm siding with this bloody pope.

SPEAKER_00 57:42

Unfortunately, um closing the gate after the horse's bolts. It's hard. Yeah, I agree. You can't take it back. There's too much industry now that relies on AI, too much industry, um, and it is making people's lives easier. It is, it's saving businesses money because people are not as needed quite so much. Of course. People are losing their jobs. Other jobs are being created, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 58:06

The only thing really I wish they would really hone in on is the damage it is doing planet-wise. To the environment. Because the amount of water that these data centers are using is drastically changing temperatures and things like that, and that's not sitting right with me. I don't really care if someone uses AI just because they want to, for whatever reason. My problem comes with like, come on, just that little bit less. I actually receive, so I, for those who don't know, my job outside of of being a dancer and and on hair, is that I do HR. Um, and I received a thing through from CIPD, who are like the head honchos of of HR in this country. Um, and it's how do we know human resources made better by AI? And I'm like, but I'm human, human resources, and that to me was was terrifying. Ironic. I was like, this is human resources, not computer resources. Like genuinely, I was I read it and went, oh, that's interesting.

SPEAKER_00 59:02

AI's definitely got a lot of advantages. It does, it really does, it does. And I like that the Pope is standing up because you know what? The Pope and people like that don't normally get that involved in things like that. It's like the king getting involved in certain things recently, they just don't normally do it unless they're very passionate and it's a personal thing. So it must be like a personal thing for and maybe it really must be. Yeah, but um it's too late, it's too late, unfortunately. And uh the whole data centre thing, I totally agree. Um, I think on the flip side of that though, I think if you put um all of the energy that's being used into cloud storage, all the data that we each hold on our mobile phone.

SPEAKER_01 59:43

I agree.

SPEAKER_00 59:44

My laptop has got two terabytes storage on it. I've got two terabytes on Google. Most of my stuff goes up into the Google Cloud. It doesn't get stored on the two terabytes lappy because I need a two. And and there's lots of people like me. I've got my phone and I've got my lappy. Each have got separate storage things, I'll keep them separate. That's just me alone. Using cloud storage. I totally get where you're coming from. And I've probably got about seven mobile phones dead downstairs. I've got two that are sort of used at the moment. And so all these devices that we're just picking up, throwing away, picking up, throwing away, all of that is using up water and energy, all the rest of it. So for everybody who says it's we've got you saved the environment, I I am 100% in agreement. But also we need to think about other ways in which we I agree because AI, I think, has gone so far now, I don't think we can take it back. The industry may need to look at how they can still run efficiently without using all the energy, and I think they will eventually. I think there'll be something that comes up, some government somewhere or whoever will say, look, we need to be a little bit more careful about our environment. But in the meantime, all the people who are shouting about it, put your mobile phone down. I get it. Don't have two mobile phones. The mobile phone that's perfectly okay when your contract renews. Don't renew it, just carry on going with that one phone until it dies. There's so much we could be doing. So, and you know what, there's somebody who's bleating recently that I know on on um Instagram about this subject. And you know what? Your opinions are fine, that's what it's there for. But this person was going on a little bit and being a bit personal and all that eventually. And I'm like, I know very well what you use and what you know your lifestyle and all the rest of it. Yeah. So, you know, put your fucking phones down, your laptops, and all your flights that you're taking across the world all the time.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:40

Yeah, there is there's a lot, and I I do think as well we need to look at what people are using it for. Yeah. In the sense of I I know people personally who have like befriended their AI, and to me, because it will chat to anyone, I think that's a bit weird, but also that's a bit sad.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:55

If we focus on, okay, are people using it for a therapy purpose? Make therapy more accessible, that's gonna help. Do you know what I mean? There are so many things that we could look at.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:03

I don't know where it's all gonna go. What the hell AI meaning? You know, if you think about I remember just after COVID, I went for a break with R. Liam and he introduced me to Chat Chat GPT, but it was a new thing, it was so basic. I was like, I've never used it. I've never it was so basic. And Liam's like, just just ask it anything that you might know the answer of.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:26

I was like, oh okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:28

Now ask it something you don't know. Put it in. And he came up with this big long thing, which I then fact-checked, and I was like, impressive. I don't think it was doing graphics at the time, it was just answering basic questions. It was in very, very, very early stages. And I was like, it's a bit scary, isn't it? And Arlene was dead excited over it because he's like very forward-thinking with that kind of thing. And now, when you see in just a space of what four years or whatever it is, um, where it's gone from that very basic model, very basic model, to what it can do now, it's teaching itself all the time. It's learning from us, it's learning our conversations. I don't know where it's gonna be in the next five years. Yeah, ChatGPT and all that's really a disclaimer. Yeah, the the responses aren't always accurate. So we fact check everything. We can run it in the estimate, yeah. But I've actually listened to some podcasts and the the falling into the realm of relying on ChatGPT, I can tell.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:25

I can tell. I think when I'm doing my research all the time and I do read I do sometimes read some stuff on ChatGPT. The only time I do that, let's say I can't even think of it. Occasionally I might look in a medical journal over something long and high fluid and big words. Because medical journals are a lot. The references make me add fall off. Yeah, they do. So I'll go into ChatGPT and copy and paste it. Can you just tell me that in simple form? Yeah. And that's what it does. So I love it for for all of that. But I am listening to certain podcasts and I'm like, the same words keep coming up. That script is that is not ChatGPT generated. And there's another podcast, I'm not going to say who it is, and I I've listened to them from day one. And it's two people and the Greys banter, banter, banter. Then it became a little bit more scripted. Okay. Um, I'm not saying that was ChatGPT, but they meant the whole thing was a bit more scripted. Yeah. Then it went even more scripted. Oh. Then they went on camera, and I don't know why they did that because they've always been audio and they're brilliant on audio. As soon as they went on to camera, not so great. Oh. They lost it because they were too conscious. Yeah. They were they've been going for like six years before they went on camera. Well, why have you done that? Isn't that mad? And as soon as they did that, it was almost like it was all too much to think about. And I could tell that what they were reading because theirs is a red outfit.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:48

It was it was AI. I could just tell. Isn't it weird? Oh my god, I know you can do this yourself. You've been doing it all these years. Uh-huh. Why you go to ChatGPT?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:59

Exactly. People like authenticity. It's like me and you sat there, we've got our topics, yeah. Yeah. But we we're just having a chat about it. And we'll steer off and go on mad tangents about like my pet tarantulas and stuff. Because people like authenticity. I like authenticity. That's why I've listened to this pod for years. I mean, I only have my notes because I forget shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:14

Yeah, me too. I mean, I went through that before I went, is that Nelson have a forgotten? I forgot in there. No, absolutely fine. Um, and yeah, even when I am writing scripts for like Unhinged, I do read it out. I wouldn't go onto Chat GPT because people need to hear my voice in it. Exactly. And I talk in a certain way. You do. And with Unhinged, you can sort of hear some of my words coming in there every now and then. I it wouldn't be the same, I don't think. I mean, I try and formalise it a little bit because I'm trying to create an atmosphere and depth and all that. Which I don't have my normal speaking voice. But I still throw my own words out. I get it. Imagine reading something out that you it doesn't even sound like you. People have got to it straight away. Yeah. Well I did. Yeah. So unfortunately. Unfortunately, now I've actually stopped listening to the podcast. Fair enough.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:04

Because it takes the human out of it.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:06

It takes the human element out of it. And also I'm like, you're just going through the motions now. You're not putting the work in anymore because you love it and your passion. Exactly. So I'm not passionate with you, Sells. Fair enough. Don't blame ya. Anyway. Rice. We've been going for ages. Fair enough. So I think this is probably going to be a long extended version for Patreons with a sandy cut version for everybody else. Fair balance. Because people can't go the distance. So do you know? The muffin man. The muffin man? The muffin man? He must live some joy lane, doesn't he? That geese that looks dead tasty. Love it. So do you know? What? Myciophilas. What what? Mycophilia. Myceophilia. Some people say macepophilia, but it's myceophilia. Oh. M-E-I.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:00

M-E-I. Is this another one where it comes from like a Latin or the Greek? Yeah. Yeah, I thought so. Yeah. No? Not a club.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:08

Go for it. So it is a Greek word relating to childbirth and labour. Okay. So mycophilia is an attraction to pregnancy and pregnant bodies or bodies giving birth. Interesting. Mm-hmm. And I don't mean in the um the dramatic expulsion of baby sense. But the changes of the body goes through. Interesting. Okay, so in most cases, there's a specific attraction to the actual pregnancy appearance, so the belly.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:41

Yeah? Okay. The swollen belly and body changes, so your legs get a little bit bigger, your boobs get bigger, your shape changes, your face might go rounder. Pigmentation. Some people go a little bit darker in pregnancy. Freckly. You can get this line here. It's very, very, very common. A little bit hairy on your belly as well. Loads and loads and loads of different changes. And some people are very attracted to that metamorphosis that women go through during pregnancy. Some people are attracted to the fertility aspect, the fact they're attracted to the fact that women can create life and bring life, grow life, all that. Relaxation.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:21

I was so gonna say, does this tie into the lactation for real?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:26

That's all I'm gonna say. It only needs the word. Yeah. No description. Nurturing dynamic.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:34

So I have known some Dominatrix over the years who've done like um nanny mummy role play. And they've had like bitty, nappy changes and stuff like that. It's not something that I've done because it's not my kink. Um, but there are people who um would choose to visit a dominatrix if she was pregnant. I have never known one. Never have known one. So if you're that way inclined, there's a niche out there for you. And so some men especially like the nurturing dynamic of a maternal figure. Okay, and they quite like the pregnancy um being visible with this nurturing but also like a visible reminder of a mother figure. Yeah, and um some people it's like the taboo or the psychological aspect of pregnancy and sexuality because some women become more sexual during pregnancy. Yeah, I definitely did, and it hasn't really stopped. I wasn't before, you know. Really? No, I didn't realize it. How interesting. Didn't really like it. And um my flu wasn't sensitive at all. TMI, but this is how we roll. Me flu wasn't sensitive at all. Nothing. Okay. As soon as I got pregnant, I got a proper tingle in my mingle.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:48

Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:49

Yeah. And then after I had a baby, it didn't go away, and actually it was even more sensitised. So things like dildo's that would not never done out into you. Not a thing. No. And then after I had a baby, that was it. I was like, yeah, yeah, really, really great. So um excuse me, it can actually change you sexually as well. I'm not saying being more promiscuous, but just enjoying sex a bit more. Yeah. And your boobs get more sensitive now in pregnancy, they can get a bit sore, but afterwards they can feel like more sensitive. Can happen to me as well. Interesting. That was more later on. Anyway, yeah. So, anyway, it's very, very common this, more common than you realise, but very rarely discussed openly. Because uh, pregnancy almost gets pushed into this like strange social space of you know, pure motherhood, yeah, pure mother, you know, nurturing this child. You don't ever think of uh this pure mother who also fucks herself with a dildo. Mothers are humans, people forget that.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:56

Yeah, they suddenly become a baby carrier. Well, yeah, basically.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:00

Anyway, unbelievable, yeah. Sorry, and uh historically, pregnancy fetishism as well has been a big thing, it goes right back. You will know this being a history nerd. So there's fertility arse and carvings all over the place, you know, dating right back, you know, ancient Egypt, the Greeks, loads and Greeks, loads and Greeks in the ancient China on pottery. There's lots of fertility kind of stuff, um, and in in um in Egypt as well, they used to have like uh fertility containers, they were blessed and stuff like that. Yeah, I can't think love all that, but loads of arse, excuse me. Um, not so much now. Uh in history, we've celebrated the pregnant form, but nowadays I think women are trying to reclaim it. But think about this period of a good hundred years, I think, if not more, yeah, where pregnancy wasn't depicted in arse. I don't know much modern arse where you see a pregnant belly or a sexualised pregnant lady. Yeah. But before that, look at a renaissance period. Absolutely. A load of pregnant arts all over the place. Great, yeah. Love it. So, anyway, and it's most basic for most people are into misophilia, the misophiliacs, because it is literally the aesthetic of the pregnancy.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:16

And I remember being pregnant, uh eight months pregnant beyond the karaoke, as you do, and the karaoke DJ um actually said, Oh, doesn't she look beautiful? And there's a big fucking tent on. Big tent. Doesn't she look beautiful? There's something very attractive about a pregnant woman, and he genuinely meant it. I love that. And people in the audience went, nah. Oh my god, is it? He went, no, no. And I had to go off and sing after that. Oh my god, no. And afterwards he actually said, Don't paint in a plate no so then, I think you look beautiful. And I was like, Oh thanks.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:47

Oh thanks.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:48

Yeah, I was eight months pregnant, but actually dropped the baby two weeks later because I was like, Oh my god.

unknown 1:12:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:53

Wild. So there you go. Um that is mycephilia. And um, I recommend any pregnant ladies out there, you've got a little bit of a kinky side to you. Definitely uh look to take some photos and post them on Fat Life. I think you'd be very popular.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:09

There you go. I've learned something new. It's always a learning care if I don't come here. I love this. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:14

Oh yeah. Um, would I have felt sexy and all that actually carrying a baby? I didn't feel sexy, but I was definitely sexual. Fair enough. I didn't like myself being pregnant. I didn't think I looked nice. But now that I know there's people out there who really, really would have enjoyed it, I probably would have enjoyed it more. I get ya. But back then, you'd talk a very long time ago. People weren't talking about shit like that. No. Now we are. Here we are. Love it. Yeah. So on that baby making bombshell, where can I go? You doing it, ever? I can do it, yeah. Because was it who was it that didn't do it in the last couple of episodes? Um, Kev didn't do one. Yeah. Andy wouldn't do one. Yeah, now that you do it.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:59

Use a rubbish. If you're binge watching, put the kettle on, we'll see you in five. If not, we'll see you next week. See you next time.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:08

Well done. Thanks.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:10

And there we have it! Another day made better by listening to the creators of chaos. Thanks for dropping by. And if you enjoyed the show, we'd really appreciate you giving you love the Pasistel Podcast with your friends. Don't forget to give us a follow on our socials, maybe leave us some five-star reviews, and feel free to send us an email to magic at the patestelpodcast.co.uk, or even enter up us on Facebook because we love Chat Studio. Be sure to stop by next week because that's what we says. I don't know where I'm going next, but I promise it will be bored. Catch you soon.