EPISODE 141 - 'Paid to be a BDSM slave'

This week in The Padded Cell, we’re going from one of the most jaw-dropping natural events ever recorded to the accidental birth of a gaming icon, before heading into ancient Crete for a brilliantly weird look at the Minoans, mythology, goddesses, snakes, boobs and possibly the earliest dominatrix vibes in history.

We also answer a submissive Lady Lobotomy question, then finish with a Fetish Factoid which leads to Vicky blushing her way through a confession

Expect heatwave chaos, ancient oddities, BDSM chat and the usual beautifully derailed conversations.

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Recorded and Produced by Vicky at The Padded Cell Studios

Ep 1 - 120 recorded at: 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Are you a deviant? You know, like those of us who binge-watch serial killer programs, laugh at the stupid stuff people do, unrevel with anything adult? Well, you found your people! Join us as we crack open the doors to Pavet Cell and release the insanely stupid, the weirdly wonderful, and those who choose to live outside to sides are not. We delve into the strange, the macabre, the sexy and the outrageous! So if you're a deviant, then you have your place with us in the Pallit Cell. Right, oh we are, we've got somebody on. Alicia, hi! Hi! I'd be very surprised if we get anybody on here today because it's a nice day. Everyone will be out. It's Saturday. It's fair enough. A lot of people will be out, so you know. Right, I'm just gonna take you on Sissy Wednesday if you only just uh joined us. Hi! Boobs!

SPEAKER_02 0:58

They're not very easy to hide.

SPEAKER_00 1:01

Oh, boob sweat in this weather's just real, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 1:04

I'm heavy chepped, it's a bloody nightmare.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

Under boob sweat. I mean, I haven't got big boobs, it's bad for me.

SPEAKER_02 1:11

It's rough.

SPEAKER_00 1:11

With your jugs.

SPEAKER_02 1:12

It's rough. Almost like weightlifting in the heat. It's an absolute nightmare. My shoulders must be a hench. Not ideal. Right then.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

Let's get started. Hell yeah. Oh, from Berlin. Hello. Oh, we've got somebody from Berlin.

SPEAKER_00 1:30

I've been to Berlin. Nice part of the world, very good. Very cultural.

SPEAKER_02 1:34

I'd love to go to Berlin. Have you never been?

SPEAKER_00 1:37

Just like any other big, big, big city. But with a Germans for us, because you know Germans do everything just that little bit better, don't they? They do. Berlin's just bots. You do indeed. Right, oh, somebody's mentioned your boobs. Make you feel better. My man boobs are sweaty too. Oh, good. I'm glad we can be in this together. So Nico. I'm naming you. Nico has said that his man boobs are sweaty.

SPEAKER_02 2:01

Oh, Nico are feeler. I get it. Rough. Extra deodorant under them. That's the only way I'm coping. I've got a sweaty ass crack as well. Oh, nightmare. Everything. All nightmare.

SPEAKER_00 2:11

Anyway. Best get started, haven't we? It's getting a little bit deep. Ass cracks and boobs. Haven't even said below yet. What a way to start.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

Yeah, right then.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

So we're on episode 141.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

That's a lot of episodes.

SPEAKER_00 2:25

There's a lot of episodes. It's mashing. 40 degrees here. It feels like fucking 40 degrees in this studio. Tell me. I have no idea. Right then, let's get started. Hello from Blackpool, Tanya. Aya Tanya. Ready? I'm ready. I'm good to go. Marvellous. Hello and welcome to episode 141 of the Bavisel Podcast. And today I'm here with me wagon.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

She's back. In in full emo fashion this time. You went like that.

SPEAKER_00 2:57

And your boob just went.

SPEAKER_01 3:01

They've got a mind to the bone. So leaving so. And it's bloody hot here today.

SPEAKER_00 3:08

We're not gonna go on and on and on because I've already put about four posts on Facebook about how hot it is. And you know, it's summer, we're just not used to it, and there's no air con. There's no air con whatsoever. We're not built for this. So occasionally I might just have to waft away from the mic so the mic doesn't pick up the wafts. I get it. And I might have to mop my upper lip every now and then as well. I feel it already. So yes, it's hot, hot, hot. But you know what? We shouldn't complain because here in the UK we don't get it often enough. No, we don't. And when we do get a heat wave, they said there's a heat wave coming. You put it on the weather, don't they? On the TV. There's a heat wave coming two days. Yeah. Heat wave for me is like a whole summer holidays when you're a kid. I get yeah. It's not two days, it's not like torrential rain. Nice day, nice day, torrential rain. That is a heat wave after a couple of nice days, a couple of roasting days. Yeah, just a couple of sunny days, innit? But no, in the UK it's a heat wave. Yeah. So extreme heat and snow, we just can't deal with it. This country's not built for any weather. Equipped for anything but mild. Basically, yeah. In the north, they're a bit better. In the south, everything like just grinds to a stop. It does, it's in the cold. Fucking hell. Work from home and everything. Yeah. In the north, just put a big coat on, don't win off. A little bit, I would argue a little bit tougher. A bit tougher. Could have gotta be, haven't we? That's just the environment, isn't it? It just makes us that little bit tougher. Just get on with it. So, and also this week, just got it was my birthday, we're not gonna go on loads, but we were talking before, we weren't weak. Do you know when you try to think of what you want to do for your birthday or a special day and you're like, oh yeah, I want to take a trip to the trip to the you end up in traffic jams or stressed out or whatever. And I said to Jim, I didn't want to do anything like that, I just want to do something nice and simple. Yeah, and because I was a townhouse for ages and doing this as well, I didn't have any time to just do the simple things. And so I said to Jim, do you know what? Let's give her breaky somewhere. And we went to our usual calf, didn't get anywhere special, although it is a bit special. Um, and then we went to some antique shops and went for a little wander around some charity shops because we love all of them. Yes, had a a pint or two, and um came back and it was one of them nights. Amazing. I love this for you. It was just it was just a really nice birthday of doing things that I haven't had time to do for months and months and months. Where we went there for the like a charity shops. We used to go like once every couple of months, make a little day out of it, have some lunch. Yeah, we haven't been since we moved into this house, it was about 19 months ago. That's how busy I've been. I haven't even had a chance to go for a little wander around the shops and antiques and you know, all that kind of thing. So it was lovely, just simple, simple stuff, dead, dead nice. Nice, and your birthday's coming up soon.

SPEAKER_02 5:44

It is you're gearing up. I am, I've planned what I'm doing on the day and everything. We're going to sick to death in Chester. What's that? So it's a history of sickness and medicine, and they've got a plague doctor. Okay, so what's it called?

SPEAKER_00 5:56

Sick to death. Sick to death in Chester. Yeah. And it's like it's like an exhibition type.

SPEAKER_02 6:02

So it's a full-on museum that they've got that you walk around. It's a permanent museum. Yeah, yeah, it's been there for years. Um, and and they've got like a grim reaper who watches over you the whole way round from the ceiling. It's like in an old church, I think. Okay. Um, but they've got like disease alley and like Gavin's smell what someone's stick smell like in 1700s or something ridiculous. But it looks really interesting, and I thought, oh, start my 30s off weird. That was a mean to go on, eh?

SPEAKER_00 6:28

Why change? Exactly. You are just weird. You love weird. We've always been weird.

unknown 6:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:34

Can't wait. So we've got Heather from Wisconsin. Rice. Were you on last time, Heather? We had somebody from Wisconsin last time. Palm Beach. Oh, and Barbarella's in Croatia. Oh, gorgeous. Trying to make out probably that she's from Croatia, but she's not. She's just in Croatia. Hilarious. Not that exotic love. Love it. Anyway, let's get on with the day. While we've got you on, we're gonna do a little on this day. Okay. And then we're gonna boot you off, and then we're gonna carry on for the masses. So this is going out on the 9th of July to the masses. Lovely. Which was a couple of weeks. Ten days. Yeah. A couple of weeks, whatever. At the time. And a couple of things happened, which uh one is very close to my horse. Okay. And the other one is just really interesting. Um, I'm going to do the really interesting one first while you're all on. Love that. So, 9th of July 1958 in Alaska. Now, Alaska is one of those places I'd love to go to.

SPEAKER_02 7:34

Me too.

SPEAKER_00 7:34

I've seen some Alaskan cruisers. And I mean, obviously, we always get a balcony when they cruise. Not really sure we'd need a balcony for that one. But just for the views. Yeah, I get yeah. They're a bit spendy, but oh my god, the cruisers look absolutely amazing around Alaska. Really, really nice. So we're going to Alaska with this on this day, 1958. So what I need you to picture here is almost like a fjord. Okay. So on the coast, Pacific Ocean coast of Alaska, that side. There's mountains, like really like steep high mountains on this coastline. And then the the the sea opens inwards into like a little estuary, like a little fjord. Nice. It's not massive, but it's big enough. Yeah. And these mountains basically uh surround each side of it, really, really steep. And the outlet into the sea is actually quite narrow, it's only a few hundred feet wide, which actually for an outlet into the ocean isn't that big, really. So what it creates is like this bowl, a bowl of water, it's deep, it's a fjord, yeah. And the snow, it's a beautiful, beautiful area, but it's also on a fault line. Okay. And um one day, this 9th of July 1958, there was an earthquake. 7.8 magnitude, and um this is a major fault line that it occurred on. Right. It wasn't just like you know, one of the little minor ones, it was a major fault line. The bay is called Latua Bay. Um and yeah, there's been occurrences around the area before. It is one of those areas because it is on this fault line. But approximately 10:15, when this earthquake uh went off, it triggered a gigantic landslide. Oh, way from really, really high above. Uh, it's called this Gilbert Inlet at the far side. So the far side of this bowl, if you like, this massive rock and mudslide occurred. So basically part of the mountain just collapsed. A massive amount of mountain collapsed. And when it hit the water, it hit at such force. Um geologists are sorry, estimate around 30 million cubic metres of rock and ice broke away from the mountainside. Interesting. Yeah. Now that is enough material to fill Wembley Stadium many, many, many times over. Yeah?

unknown 10:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:08

30 million cubic metres. And it fell 30,000, sorry, 3,000 feet. That's a lot. So 30 million cubic ton of rock fall on 3,000 feet that's gonna cause one hell of a splash. Yes. Well, it wasn't just a splash. Basically, imagine dropping an entire mountain into a bath. Yeah.

unknown 10:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

It's gonna cause a massive wave. Absolutely, it is. But because this was all like a fjord, like a bowl, the wave didn't have anywhere to go as such. So when the rocks hit, this wave, it went in the air. Of course. Massive. And actually, um they think almost certainly know that this triggered one of the biggest tsunami waves ever recorded, I called a mega tsunami. Yeah. And they've they've recorded that it reached 524 metres high. Jesus Christ. So from comparison, the Eiffel Tower is about 330 metres high. Yeah. The shard is 300 metres. So this wave basically reached much higher than the Eiffel Tower. And we know the Blackpool Tower, someone's on from Blackpool here. Five times the size of Blackpool Tower. Nothing else came close to this in history. Nothing. So, like I say, this wasn't a conventional tsunami because it had nowhere to go if you like. It did cause some ripples, but not like we saw in 2004. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead, it went up and right up the sides of the mountainsides. And the reason why um scientists knew almost precisely how high this thing went is because it obviously went at a massive speed, and as it went, it ripped really old trees off the mountainside out of their roots. Wow. And they could see how high it went and where the trees stopped being pulled out. Yeah. And it was 520. It's terrifying. So there's some witnesses, some people actually saw this and survived. Wow. Yeah. So it's not hugely populated this area, but people might go for fishing, that kind of thing, maybe some hiking.

SPEAKER_02 12:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:30

And one of the surviving witnesses was a fisherman called Bill Swanson. Must have had a bit of a shock that day. Yeah. He's on board a boat called The Badger. And he said he saw the mountains shaking, like just shaking and then rocking. Really going. And then all of a sudden, rocks just falling from everywhere, and then the water underneath him just rising. Because where he was, it wasn't where the rocks felt. That was on the far side. So when it hit, he saw he saw it, felt it, but he actually felt the rise in the water. Terrifying. So he actually went up high. Can you imagine how terrifying that would have been? Absolutely nuts. Then there's another witness, Howard Ulrich, and he was aboard a fishing vessel called the Edri. Okay. Him and his seven-year-old son. Oh my god. His seven-year-old son, they were anchored in the bay when the earthquake struck. And Ulrich later described seeing what looked like an entire mountainside just collapsed into the water. It was terrifying. That's nightmare fuel. And then he watched this massive wall of water racing towards him, and his boat was just lifted really, really, really high in the air. And instead of being smashed to pieces like the other dude, it rode the crest of the wavelength. Oh my god! 524 metres. That is ridiculous. So Ulrich later recalled seeing treetops beneath his boat as they were getting carried over part of the landscape that should have been dry land. Oh my god. The vessel survived, and so did him and his son. Amazing. It must have been terrifying, really. Yeah. Because you've got no engines, there's no control.

SPEAKER_03 14:17

No.

SPEAKER_00 14:17

You are literally at the whim of physics and nature and the weather, aren't you? And crossing everything. Yeah. Just hoping for the best. It's just unreal. Five people did lose their lives. Yeah. Um, and like I said before, it is considered the biggest uh tsunami wave ever recorded. Oh, that's wild. Yeah. Um it's just it's just nuts. I mean, 524 metres sounds a lot. I tend to work in feet nowadays because I'm old-fashioned. So that is 1724.

SPEAKER_02 14:52

That is a terrifying concept.

SPEAKER_00 14:55

It's nuts. Yeah. It's nuts that the an earthquake can cause that amount of natural devastation. The landscape has never been the same again, obviously. And apparently, you can see satellite photos, and you can actually see on the mountainside where all that undergrowth and all the trees are missing. You'll see some new undergrowth now, obviously, it's 1958. But all the really old, so on the top you can see all the big old trees, old growth, and then nothing where it's all been so you can literally see the path of the wave as it exits this fjord into the ocean.

SPEAKER_02 15:31

That is nightmares.

SPEAKER_00 15:32

But because of this, it's thankfully it sort of lost its power, but it was in this bowl and getting through this like little outlet. So it sort of lost its momentum, so it didn't cause devastation out into the ocean. But in this actual area, I mean it would have been amazing and terrifying.

SPEAKER_02 15:48

It would you reckon that's the highest a fish has ever been.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

Yeah. It's gonna be on it. Well, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 15:54

No, is there been a fish in space? No. Oh no. Oh, I thought that's what you're gonna tell me. Space fish.

SPEAKER_00 15:59

Maybe a dead one.

SPEAKER_02 16:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

But if you think about water funnels, tornadoes, water funnels, we know that they've picked up animals, gone along it and dropped them. Good point. So they so a fish could go higher than 524 metres if it was taken up into a water funnel. Valid point. I read somewhere that an uh an alligator, a crocodile had been picked up in a water funnel and dropped. Imagine seeing that coming towards you.

SPEAKER_02 16:23

And not only is it nightmare fuel because that's coming towards you, but there's also a crocodile. Yeah. I'm not Steve Irwin, I'll pass on that one. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 16:31

Absolutely not. Apparently, it dropped somewhere as well, um, where crocodiles and alligators really shouldn't be. Oh no. Like a residential area. Imagine having the barbecue on, kids in the paddling pool, sun's out, music's playing, neighbours are awakening, working the way over with a uh a load of beer, and all of a sudden a crocodile falls from the sky into the paddling pool. Oh no, that is horrific. Well, apparently horses' things have been picked up in these wind funnels. Interesting. Yeah. So there you go. The um a mega tsunami of 1958. And uh nowadays that would be picked up on satellite. Of course it would, wouldn't it? Yeah. So it's a shame really that this hadn't been picked up. Obviously, people have lost their lives, you know, we're not like celebrating something here. No, but this is a natural uh phenomenon, an amazing natural phenomenon. And nowadays a satellite had picked that up on me to see you. It absolutely was. Imagine seeing that. It would be amazing, wouldn't it? Really, really, really amazing. Right. So before I carry on, I'm gonna turn Facy off. You're not getting as much off me today, I'm afraid, sales. Fair, valid. Well, I'll look back on the reel last time. Get about 35 minutes.

SPEAKER_01 17:44

I know.

SPEAKER_00 17:45

It's like off a podcast, no? We have to come back next Wednesday, Thursday, even whichever day it is, whichever day we do the pod these days. So let's see, just before we go, let's see. Um, ooh, ooh, love you guys. Hell of a ride. Get crazy earthquake. Um, here in Florida, gators will get you in the pool on their own. That is terrifying. I just don't want to live in countries where things would have kill you.

SPEAKER_02 18:11

No, it's a bit like Australia where everything wants to kill you. Everything wants to kill them in Australia. Do you know what? I love spiders and I'll still pass on that one. I want to go to Australia.

SPEAKER_00 18:18

I'd just um I'd have somebody with me that could kill all the things around me. Fair enough. Absolutely valid. Does that person even exist? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 18:25

Maybe you could hire that'd probably be a job that you could hire someone to do. Yeah. I well reckon there must be someone. A protector. Call Robert Erwin and save them all and keep them away from you. Love Robert Irwin.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

Oh, he's a good looking lad.

SPEAKER_02 18:37

He's he's not my type, but he's a good-looking fella. I can appreciate that he's looks like a dad.

unknown 18:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:42

Looks like a dad. Who I did used to really like in all fairness. Yes. Right, before we go, let's say this is why the volcanic rupture in Washington uh with Mount St. Helen, it's hard to think which uh which devastation is worse. Well, yeah. In Berlin, lots of foxes roam freely. Does that come to do with earthquakes?

SPEAKER_02 19:00

We've mentioned foxes before. We're talking about animals being dropped off places they shouldn't be and stuff. Oh okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 19:05

Like from Australia.

SPEAKER_02 19:06

I love my foxes. I give mine all names. Do you? Yeah. At the minute we've got Rusty and Not is is the brother. Oh god. Yeah, they're really, really good.

SPEAKER_00 19:16

I don't give wild animals names because they just easily die. I mean broken houses. Yeah. And I'd buried them and everything.

SPEAKER_02 19:22

So we've got generations of foxes that live in the woods by my house. Like I've watched the last like four.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

Oh, you've got generations of foxes that have lived and died in your back garden. In the woods, yes.

SPEAKER_02 19:31

Delightful. I've watched them every night. Oh bless. So cute.

SPEAKER_00 19:35

Oh, yeah. Oh, we do know somebody said come to us. I really do. I want to come to us with my mate lives over there as well. So I'd love to go. So it's a bit spendy, isn't it? Fuel prices came up as well, it's even more spendy now. Everything's expensive, innit? Anyway, right, we're gonna go. So enjoy the rest of your Saturday or Sunday if you're somewhere else in the world and it's a different day. Yeah. Thank you very much for joining us. Um and uh if it's hot where you are, stay cool. Thanks for joining us. Bye, love you, bye. Just like that, and you were backgrounds. Bye. So again, on this day. No, wrong one. Hang on. On this day wrong page. 1981. Oh, you weren't born.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

I wasn't. No. Not yet.

SPEAKER_00 20:24

So you were fucking hell, you're 1995. 96. So I was 1975. Yeah. Fucking hell. Okay. So anyway, Lesby calendar reminder. So 1981, I was six. No, wasn't it? Seven by this point. Six, yeah. If I asked you to name one of the most famous video game characters in history, who would it be? Pac-Man. I would have said Pac-Man. Yeah. But no, I'm not sure. I'm a Pac-Man, I think again. Mario? Yes. Okay. Okay. Mario. I love playing Donkey Kong and Mario Kart and stuff like that. And he's iconic little Mario. But do we know where he came from? I didn't know where he came from. And I didn't know who he was supposed to be in the first place. He was never supposed to be Mario. Oh, was he not? Was he not meant to be a little plumber, no? No. He wasn't when he started out as a carpenter as well, not at all. Did he? Ah. So I'm going to tell you a little bit about Donkey Kong and Mario. Hell yeah. Let's go. And Mario's accidental birth, basically. Okay. I love this. So it all began 9th of July 1981. And Nintendo was quite a different company than it is today. Obviously, you know, global multi billion pound company. The company had been around for decades, um, originally making playing cards in Japan. Yeah. Did you know that? And you Nintendo were quite an old company, weren't they? Did you know they they made playing cards though? I think I've heard that before. I didn't know that. Yeah. Didn't have a clue. And by the late 1970s, they were starting to experiment with arcade games. So not sort of like little handhelds, you know, the big standard ones that you see around and about. They weren't dominating the industry, but they were trying to find a mark in the industry. And they tried to develop one called Radar Scope. Okay. And it was one of their very first commercial arcade machines. It was a complete disaster. It didn't go well at all. And warehouses were reportedly packed with these things that nobody wanted. Right. So Nintendo needed a hit and fast because they were losing money because all these other ones were just sitting there making their money. Anyway, at the time there's a guy called Mayamoto. Okay. He wasn't a famous game developer. He'd never actually designed a game before, ever. No. But Nintendo gave him a chance. I don't actually know why. When you've got so much banking on this, why would you give this to somebody who'd never actually designed a video game before? I had no idea. How interesting. Yeah. Now the original idea was to make a game using the characters of Popeye. Oh, okay. Popeye would rescue Olive Oil from Bluetooth. Okay. Quite a simple thing. Yeah. Except Nintendo couldn't secure the license for Popeye. So they had to improvise. Popeye became a carpenter called Jump Man. Jump Man? Olive Oil became a damsel in distress. And Bluetooth became a giant ape. Oh, okay. And that ape became known as Donkey Kong. Why Donkey Kong? Well, Miyamoso, the guy had never developed a game before, he admitted the name was unusual, but he believed that Donkey, the word donkey, conveyed stubbornness. And Kong was commonly associated with the giant ape of King Kong. And obviously the results is the most one of the most famous characters in history. So the gameplay itself was revolutionary. If you think back, I know you weren't around, but you know the games. I know the games, yeah, yeah. They were like space invaders, so it was just like shooting aliens.

SPEAKER_02 24:15

And that one where it's like doo, you've got to do the ball. Atari.

SPEAKER_00 24:19

Yes, that's the one. And you know, maze games. Pac-Man. Pac-Man, prime example. Yeah. Donkey Kong introduced something new. Uh-huh. So what it introduced was a story. Before, it's just like meaningless levels of like, you know, just get a bit harder doing the same thing. Yeah. Donkey Kong developed a story. I love that. Giant ape kidnapped woman. Woman is rescued by a hero climbing ladders and girders and all the rest of it. Yeah. And they go through different things. It tells a story. And at the end, if he rescues a damn in distress, big hugs, big horse. Amazing. End of story. Yeah. Happy ending. Not that kind of happy ending. Now that sounds really ordinary now, a story in a game, but it was revolutionary at the time. It just wasn't even a thing at all. And players loved it. And obviously the game became enormous. Of course. Yeah. Now, Jump Man. Because Jumpman wasn't called Mario at this point. How did he become Mario? Nintendo had offices in America. Rented like warehouse space. Yeah. And they rented it from a landlord named Mario Segali. Okay. Mario Segali. Since I did that accent with me.

SPEAKER_02 25:39

He can't stop now. Finding excuses to do an Italian one. I love it, actually should. Discovered it.

SPEAKER_00 25:49

Fix invented the Italian accent. My own Italian accent. Delightful. Anyway, accounts differ on how the name Mario came along. Bus. Most reports say it comes from this guy. Because apparently the employees said that this Mario looked exactly like the character they'd already created. So the darker, the little mustache, the little round face, curly hair. Love it. All that kind of thing. And in the office they nicknamed him. Oh, here's Mario. Oh, okay, I love it. No, sorry, here's Jumpman. Sorry, here's Jumpman. And they went, just call him Mario. And that's as simple as it was. Unbelievable. Yeah. And like I said before, Mario originally wasn't a plumber, he was a carpenter. That's why he climbed ladders and like construction girders in Donkey Kong. And he only became a plumber later on when Nintendo created you know, like the underground pipeline system and all that. Yeah. That's so clever. Anyway, Donkey Kong itself became the biggest arcade game ever, ever made. Yeah. And Nintendo sold tens of thousands of actual arcade, they call them cabinets, don't they? But I um I'm gonna bring it on next time because I can't find it. I've actually got from 1982 a little handheld Donkey Kong.

SPEAKER_02 27:05

Oh, amazing!

SPEAKER_00 27:06

I'll do it with a Danley bit in a future one. So it's about that high, about that long, it's got like a box screen and then like a little handheld bit. And you go through the story, it's really, really, really good.

SPEAKER_03 27:18

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:19

And it still works. And the the thing of the bit do do do do so good. Well, I've got that. And I've got also uh I've got an original Space Invader from 1980. Have you? And I've got uh the original Pac-Man game, which is around yellow Pac-Man. Yeah, yeah. It's like oval, like that, with like a little screen. So bring them all on to show y'all. I love Pac-Man, that's so cool. Yeah, so yes, there's the millions of these things all around the world, and um you know, without basically this whole Mario Walker in the landlord, and uh what was the name? Mayamos. It was never designed a game before. Without them, we wouldn't have Mario Kart and Donkey Kong and it's a big risk for them to take as well. Yeah, and who knows? Nintendo might not have been the empire that it is now because before that it really wasn't. No, it was far from it. Absolutely. It was only because of Donkey Kong and Mario that it went through the roof, and here we are now.

SPEAKER_02 28:25

It's because of him. I got to play Nintendo Dogs as a kid, and it was the best thing ever. Nintendo. I loved Nintendo Dogs. I had a Yorkshire Terrier called Well, I'm I'm a very, very young millennial. Yeah. Um but I had a Yorkshire Terrier called Sandy, and I loved her, and I sold all my other dogs because she was my favourite. You sold other dogs. Well, you can on the game, yeah. Yeah, because I wanted other dogs to come in and Sandy was the best one, so I kept Sandy. I was very fond of her. And then I also got Animal Crossing later on. Uh unbelievable. I think our catron got Animal Crossing. I loved Animal Crossing, so I had it on my Nintendo DS, and then I got it on my Switch when I got a Switch years later.

SPEAKER_01 29:00

I've still got my DS. Yeah, I'll load a game.

SPEAKER_02 29:02

Spoons, I check in on my island.

SPEAKER_00 29:03

I might charge it up. That's it. Now I've got a bit of time. Amazing. A bit of time to not learn shit and how to produce podcasts. Absolutely. Love it. Right, so that is me done, Sissy Wednesday. Is it? And I was gonna do my dangly, but it wasn't I uh bro. Tell what you want my dangly bit before. Did I do it while when we started recording or did I do it before? I can't remember. Did you just talk to Facebook and talk to you about the underwear? I haven't told that last one. I don't think you had. Okay. I'm gonna do it again. And if I have done it, I can just take it out, can't I? No, you can. There you go. So very quickly, uh I bought some underwear from Love Honey, very, very, very nice, strappy, uh lacy, crotchless, don't judge. And I held it up and I was like, right, okay, I'll now just pop that on. And then when I opened it up, I couldn't work out where all the strings went. It was just too stringy. Yeah, there wasn't enough material and too much strings. And so I I just couldn't get in it. And when I tried, I had um I had a boob on the side there, and a boob on the side there, because I'd put it on sideways. I see if you can work it out, just put it on. No, got launched. Not a clock. Launched across the room. I was gonna bring it on and show you, but I don't actually know whether I've launched it, launched it because I've sat down. Fair enough, because you got a noise for it. I totally, totally get it. Well, when you're horny and you all look nice, yeah. You want look your best, you know. You've got nice little new outfit, nice little love horny outfits. And you get it out, and then you can't work out how to put it on. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:31

I wasn't even stoned. It's a nightmare. Absolute nightmare. You should see me trying to get in some of my poll performance stuff. I end up throwing off of it because I'm like, where does this live? Where does this bit go? Oh, that straps going the wrong way. Nightmare.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

The worst thing is Bossi stockings when they've already got holes in them. Yeah. So you've got a hole for your minge. Yeah. And obviously holes for your arms and all the rest of it. But then if it's got holes in the pattern, I've had me, I've had me fucking knife in my chest before today. You might work it out first time because you you take it out of the car and it's sort of formed. You wear it, put it in the wash. Oh, yeah, you bug it then. It becomes and then it's just like this big ball of fibre. Yes. And you're trying to pull it apart, and it's just becoming even worse. It's getting all tangled up in itself. Nice. So I've actually given up on Bossi stuff. Do you not? Every time I get one, I wear it once, and that's it.

SPEAKER_02 31:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:24

So it becomes wasteful. Yeah. So the wall's gonna be a dangly bit. And if I do find it at some point, because I do think I might have launched it in anger. Because I do that. And who can blame you? Yeah, I do do that. If I find it, I'll show you. Absolutely fair. But you can imagine strappy. Too many strappies. To love honey, make it easier, man. When you're horny and you're trying to get your thing infuriating.

unknown 31:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

And the big sweaty mess then, because you're trying to work it out. Exactly. And it just ends up not being what you're into. That's sexy anymore. Yeah, don't you? Just naked. Naked sweaty because you can't, you're so hot, you can't get asked.

SPEAKER_02 32:00

Anyway, absolutely get it. Sissy Wednesday, over to you. Okay, so I thought because um it's bloody hot, I would talk about somewhere also bloody hot that I have been to, uh, and I really loved, and I don't think enough people know about the history of these. What do you know about the Minoan civilization?

SPEAKER_00 32:17

Okay, um, I've watched a little bit on the Minoans on like Discovery and stuff like that. I love them. Um I know little bits and bobs, but I'm sure there's gonna be loads of things that you're gonna tell me that I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 32:27

Okay, uh so I'm gonna talk about Minoan civilization and how it links to one of my favourite things, Greek mythology.

SPEAKER_00 32:33

I love Greek mythology. I love Greek mythology. Well I've said before, um, very, very, very early episode, uh, Mr. Harkness was our classics teacher. Oh, fabulous. Greek mythology classics, and um I fancied the pants off him, and I loved classics. I loved it. Probably purely because I fancy the teacher. Fair enough. But he was a good teacher, but he made me enjoy us. That's what you need. Do you know what? It was easy well, 10-15 years ago. If I ever had the time to just do a degree for the fun of it on the money, I'd do classics. I was.

SPEAKER_02 33:01

My best friend's got a classic degree, and she's Greek, so she thought it was the easy one. Fuming. So for those who don't know what the Minoans were, they are um a Bronze Age civilization, specifically from Crete. Okay. Um, Crete is beautiful. They were around the Arachleon area. So Crete is massive for anyone who's not been. It is huge, it is gorgeous. It's an island, but it's huge. It's it's the biggest Greek island. Uh it's absolutely beautiful. Um, so they were a Bronze Age civilization, they lived there roughly from 3500 BC to around 1100 BC. Long time. A long time. Yeah. They were there for a long time. Yeah. Um, they are regarded as Europe's most advanced early civilization. Europe's. Yes. Okay. Yes, they are. So they had flushing toilets at that time. They had a full drainage system. They were amazing. They were so, so ahead of their time. But because they were on an island and didn't really have contact with many other places, they were like just kind of doing their own thing and inventing their own things. They were amazing.

SPEAKER_00 34:07

Had Romans like settled there at any point at all with their engineering, you know, it's just purely them.

SPEAKER_02 34:13

This is them on their own. Amazing. Because when you look at where Crete is, it's quite far down compared to the other islands. It's one of the southernmost islands of Greece. Um, so basically, everyone's kind of left them alone until the mainland Greeks came and we'll talk about them. Oh, I know. So they were also a matriarchal society, like completely matriarchal. Okay. When we look at the frescoes of them, um, there's a really famous fresco. You can do your picture thing on this one. Um, the Blue Lady fresco.

SPEAKER_01 34:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:41

I've seen this in person. It's also on the cover of one of my copies of The Odyssey. Okay. They are beautiful. Um, but it's one of the most famous frescoes, and it's just three women. Every time they do a fresco of women um in the Minoan society, they did the women were seated and they were being looked after by men. Every time it was a man, he was just like, No. No, right? Yeah. It was really, really unusual to see ones with men who were being looked after. I'll find that online. Fabulous. So, so fascinating. Um, they lived off the land, they were very, very peaceful, they didn't go to war with anyone. They just literally stayed on their island. No, right. And they had their own religion. So, unlike the kind of mainland Greeks who would go on to do obviously the um titans and then on to the Olympians, these had their own thing entirely, and they were goddesses that they worshipped. Snake goddesses. They are beautiful, and they know this because when they excavated Kinossos, which was the palace, um, they dug it up, and there's these statues of women. Cheps out, snakes in hand. She's really famous. I've got a little tiny statue of her, she's gorgeous, and there's one with the snakes kind of crawling over her because snakes are common on this island, like that's it's quite a normal thing. Um, and they were made of bronze, which is why we still have them. They have a museum in Eraklion, uh, which is like the capital of Crete, and the museum there is dedicated to what they found in Knosos, and they have those the snake women. So, interestingly, my favourite snake woman cheps out, holding a snake in each hand like this, right? Cat on a red. I love her. She's my favourite woman.

SPEAKER_01 36:25

Cats are feminine, they wear women. Hell, the snake and the cat are snake. Yeah, they're in reality. The snake had getting the cat.

SPEAKER_02 36:31

Well, yeah. Or the cat had bashed the snake in. Yeah, maybe, yeah. But cats have always been very much associated with femininity through history. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:39

Um felines.

SPEAKER_02 36:41

Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, cat on her head, snakes in hand, chebs out. That was one of their goddesses that they wished. Love it. I love her. Yes. I absolutely love her. So um both the men and women had very long hair. Um, we know this from things that we've found in in Knosos and things that have been excavated over the years. Um, they wore like braids in the hair, they accessorised really heavily with gold and silver and gemstone jewellery. Like they were like little fashionistas. Nice. I love the Menevens. Also, the women, they're blush placements. Because the women have always worn makeup. They did little suns on the cheek. I love them. Like painted suns, or just like little like they did like dots and then little fuck off. They were gorgeous. Um, I love them. They sound really like quirky and eccentric. But mad. Properly, properly mad. Um, so yeah, everything was very female-centric. The women were so well looked after. And when we think of how women have been looked at through history, fair play to the Minoans, I think they're great. Um, the men in everything. So whether it's little statues they find, whether it's frescoes they found, the men are always depicted as smaller and less worthy.

SPEAKER_00 37:52

Isn't that mad? I wonder if there's some dominatrix in there. Oh, there must have been. There must have been dominatrix.

SPEAKER_02 37:58

People have been kinky through history. Yeah, well, we know that. For a fact.

SPEAKER_00 38:01

Yeah. So yeah, if women are worshipped, I wonder if the men. Hmm, would they have been seen equal? Probably not, if the women were worshipped and put on a pedestal. So does that mean they were more subservient? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 38:15

Yes, it does. You would love the Minoans. I'm a I'm a Minoan. I love it. You might as well be Minoan. So, Knosos, people knew Knosos existed. However, lands change over time. This is thousands of years ago.

SPEAKER_03 38:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:31

So land gets built up and things. We didn't know where Knosos was until 1903. It was excavated. Okay. I didn't know it was that new. Mm-hmm. That was when they officially found where Knosos was. So they went and started digging it up, and it was a British guy who was digging it up. Uh, and he kind of found a bit and thought, ah, there's probably more underneath this. How are we gonna get to find out what more there is? So he blew it up. Um He blew it up! It's a load sight, basically. Loads of Knosos that you see when you go to Knosos now is modern-ish, like 1900s, cement, because this is what it did look like before he blew it up.

SPEAKER_00 39:14

What parking thought that was a good idea?

SPEAKER_02 39:17

An archaeologist thought that was a good idea.

SPEAKER_00 39:22

Blow up Knosos. Knowing it's a historical site, there's gotta be something else under there. Why would you put explosives in there?

SPEAKER_02 39:29

Okay. Just assuming he might find more if they go further down. So he blew it up. Wow. Uh if you're wondering, he didn't really find more through blowing it up. Oh, okay. There wasn't really more found. Obviously, they've got all the statues and things like that, like I mentioned. Um, so we get to the like 1400s BC. Uh, this is where things take a turn for the Minoans because they've never had to fight anyone. They're peaceful, they're just chilling on their islands. They use wool to make their clothes from the sheep of the island. They are eating all the fruits and the vegetables, they do have livestock, they're living a very gorgeous life by all sounds of it. And then the Mycenaeans come along.

SPEAKER_00 40:10

Because the thing is that other people always want what you've got. They've got a nice peaceful life over there. They've been doing well for centuries. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:18

Basically, that's essentially what happens. The Mycenaeans like to take over everything. So the mainland Greeks, when we think of Mycenaeans in mythology, Achilles.

SPEAKER_03 40:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:29

Those kind of those kind of characters from the Iliad and and all that kind of stuff. So they come over and they're like, yeah, we fancy that. The Minoans have no chance. These people are warrior people, they are fighters. They've come over to a peaceful place and gone, we'll have that. Thank you. Well, the Minoans didn't have to learn how to fight like that. No, they didn't, they were peaceful. They were just chilling, they were having a lovely time worshipping snake women. Yeah. They've got a lot of people.

SPEAKER_00 40:56

Have they just gave them and just chuck on all house?

SPEAKER_02 41:00

Absolutely. And we know kind of how that went by different archaeological finds that they found around Crete as to where they would have targeted, and Konos was a big one because that was the central hub of everything. However, because in ancient Greece they always come up with a story for everything. Yep. Of course they do. It's it's Greek mythology, which I'm a massive, massive fan of. You will know about King Minos. Yes. Stupid name. King King. Are you matting? It's like chai tea. It's infuriating. Oh yeah, King King over there, no problem. Shut up. Anyway. Well, I'm sorry for just holding my thoughts.

SPEAKER_00 41:33

So back to classics and Mr. Harness. Yeah. He was our classics teacher, but this King King that came up, and our form teacher was called Mr. Her H E R R. Oh my god. And we did Germany.

SPEAKER_02 41:48

Oh my god, that's incredible. When we learned this, we all went. That's incredible. Oh my god, I'm loving it. Sorry about that. God love it. So anyway, King Minos, stupid bloody name. The story comes from here. So essentially, when the Mycenaeans went over, they saw that they looked after their animals. Although they were eating them, they were looked after until the point of scranning them. And they had a lot of bulls. So here's where the story comes in. The Mycenaeans go over and go, ah, they must have this weird thing about bulls. Maybe it was Zeus. You know, the people that didn't believe in Zeus because they were worshipping snake lady, chebs out cat on head. So they come up with this story, and that's where we get the story of King Minos, Minos, where essentially you end up with the Minotaur because his wife shags a bull, which happens to be Zeus. Insane story. But in the story of Minos or Minos, he then goes on to be the almighty judge in the afterlife and things like that. Interestingly, because of this story, so when you go to Knosos, they do have a throne there from back then. You can go and see the throne of Minos. Minos. People pronounce it different ways, so I'm pronouncing it both, so everyone's happy. I say Minos because Minotaur. Yeah. I'm not don't hear I don't say Minotaur. No, that is a fair point, but in Greek it is Minos. Yeah. Because I learnt that from our tour guide who was called Gregoris. He was lovely. Gregoris. Gregoris. Gregoris. Gregoris. I was like teacher's pecs, I love Greek mythology. So anytime he asked a question, I was like, oh no, I know. Um he was Gregoris. The Greek tour guides always have the best names. Athanasia was my favourite. Athanasia. Gorgeous name. I've got a story about a Greek name, but I'll tell you after this because I can interrupt and go off. We're near the end of the story. So because he was the um almighty judge, they now have an exact replica of his throne. In The Hague. Go away! Yep. They do. Because he's the almighty judge, if you like. So, and the fairest judge of all. I bet you most of you didn't know that because I didn't know that. I learned that's from Gregonis, and I googled it and he was right. Because I was like, is he Chat Mwam? No, no, he wasn't Chat and Wham. Not at all.

SPEAKER_00 43:59

So Chat M Wham. For our it's chatting shit. Basically, talking rubbish. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 44:06

Chattin' wham. Chatt and wham. That's a sissiism. It is a sisyism, I'm afraid. But anyway, that's my story about the Minoans. The Minoans were lovely, peaceful people. The Mycenaeans came and were very annoying, but it's a gorgeous place. And if you ever get to go to Kinosos, highly recommend.

SPEAKER_00 44:19

Crete itself is lovely. Crete is beautiful. Some of the Greek islands are absolutely stunning. I left my heart in roads. Like where? Roads. Roads, roads are nice. And Simi Island. It's just off roads. Gorgeous. There's loads and loads and loads of little islands, isn't there? Um, some you can't fly into most of them, you have to go into an main island and ferry across, but there's absolutely loads, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 44:41

My best friends from Mykonos, so I get to hear all their lovely stories. It looks so I've never been, it looks absolutely beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 44:46

I've been twice now. So uh I went on a holiday for a week, very expensive. Yes, I've heard. And this was probably about uh 19 no, it wasn't. It was probably about the year 2000, 2000 one. And it was really expensive even then, but it was worth it.

SPEAKER_02 45:03

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:04

But I was a bit pavo, so I just basically, you know, did my best. But there's loads and loads of great things to do and see. See, if you've got the money, go with a few queers because there's so much you can see and do. Now, I mean it was always very uh LGBT. It was my um best friend's dad had a hotel. Yeah, uh last time I went, which was only last year, um, and I don't need to go for a day. Yeah, um, it didn't seem as queer. Yeah. So the very first time I went, there was literally just queer people everywhere. It was just brilliant. Uh it was a people watching spot. You'd find a pub and just watch everybody going past, and yeah, everybody holding hands, kissing, all that kind of thing. It was normal stuff that heterosexual people do. Yeah. For a Mikanos, it was normal for them too. Yeah. And for me, as a younger person then who, you know, a bisexual younger person with somebody who wasn't very open, mex. Um, I was like, oh my god, this is amazing. I don't want to go home. It was amazing. So I was a bit disappointed last time I went that it wasn't much so much of an LGBTQ vibe, but it was still absolutely stunning. And actually, um it was expensive, but no more expensive than the likes of London actually. Okay, yeah. So at one time you'd pay a premium for going to go to Mikanos. Now I'd say you go you pay a premium to go to anywhere. Yeah. Like that, you know, a big city is a good tourist spot. Absolutely. So for me, now it wasn't as expensive as I was expecting because I'm used to paying a lot of money when you go to these places. But Mikanos, dear me. It's called the Windy Island.

SPEAKER_02 46:35

It is, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:37

Yeah. We've actually got pictures right up by the windmills. Gorgeous. Um, and there's only one, I think, only one beach, or there was, on the whole island that isn't a news beach. Interesting. The rest of them's not compulsory, yeah. They're all the rest of the beaches, um, you can strip off, you can do whatever you want.

SPEAKER_01 46:53

Love that.

SPEAKER_00 46:54

There's only one beach that's allocated as a family beach. Okay. You're not allowed to take your top and bottoms and everything off there. Yeah. It's just, I don't know what it was about Mykonos. It was it's just beautiful, it really, really was lovely. And um in the old town, it's like a labyrinth. Yeah. As your friend tells you the story behind the labyrinth and why it's a labyrinth. No. Another tour guy thing. We both love a tour. We love a tour, quite. We love a tour. So back in the day, Mykonos was strategically placed, and um pirates would often invade Mediterranean pirates in the UJ. Some would store things on Mykonos as well as try to take from Mykonos, and the locals were like, fuck this shit, they keep coming in and just pilfering and getting off and all that. And so they built the old town as a maze so only the local people would know the the way in and out. And so the pirates tried to invade, yeah. The locals could intercept, if you like, and and flush them out, or the pirates would get in and then couldn't get out and they'd be ambushed. I would love it. I love stories like that. Uh the very first time I went, I was told that once you get in there, you can't get out, shall you really hard? Well, I did, I got lost. Um but along the way I found some nice little coffee shops and all that, and then eventually I did actually find my way through to the couch. I was like, Yay, check you. So now to get back though. Yeah, totally get it. So, do you know what I did? Come on. I was on my own because I had an argument at the ex. Um, I actually found a tour group. Oh, I love it. I'm just gonna bob on to the end of that and see where it goes. I was listening to some stuff as well, learning some things, and they actually went back to a couch. Yeah, I was like, Yay, buy the bus stop. I love it, I love it.

SPEAKER_02 48:29

Got the bus back fabulous. Thank you very much for that story. You're very, very welcome. I just I just love the Minoans, I think they're dead interesting. And I think we should all wear sunshine blush, it's very cute.

SPEAKER_00 48:38

Oh, I just love that that they're like they were quite um you know aesthetic. Yeah, they were very, very conscious of what you're aware. For that time.

SPEAKER_01 48:46

Yeah, and I love that.

SPEAKER_00 48:47

Stunning. I love that big fan. So the little story about the the Greek name that I was gonna tell you before. So, uh in Cyprus there was this uh market that we used to go to all the time, car boot marketing. And there was a guy at the time, a Cypriot guy who used to sell um copied DVDs. Of course. It wasn't illegal in Cyprus at the time, it is now. And he had loads, all the stuff that's on the cinema, then on DVD. Yeah, and we had the three kids sometimes with us. So it's like right, I was like six DVDs for 20 euro. Laughing. That's great, that'll keep them amused for a little while in the evening while we're getting ready or whatever. You know, it's great. So this guy we got to know him over the years, and yeah, he's probably still there now doing the car boots. Yeah, and he's ex-military, really, really, really big guy. Yeah always wore a vest, uh-huh, hairy grey hairs, yeah, medallion, little shoulders exactly how you'd imagine. Yeah, yeah, very fit, you know, alright looking fella. Anyway, his name is Adonis. Of course. I thought he was joking. No. And I was like, uh and to Jimmy was like talking away. He said, So Adonis, use the name again to see what reaction he got. It's it is an actual name, yeah. Right, but I couldn't remember his name. Years later we were talking about him. I think we were telling somebody about him. And I was like, Oh yeah, that guy, the guy you sell us the DVDs, Hercules. Pick a random Greek name, go! That is exactly what it is, is he?

SPEAKER_01 50:17

That's incredible. I don't remember anybody calls Hercules. I was like, you know, the fellows of the DVDs.

SPEAKER_02 50:23

He went Adonis. Hilarious. I love it. Greek names are fascinating because they have very like specific traditions, don't we? The Greeks and the Greek Cypriots. So my best friend, her mum was English, her dad was Greek, so she had an English name, which is Kiri. Yeah. But when she goes to Greece and does all the Greek bits and barbs, because they have name days, well's birthdays. Hers is Kiriyaki. Oh, she's got like a full-on Greek name, and the name she actually is is is just Kiri. So Kiriaki. So Kiriyaki. Kiriyaki. Yeah, so she's Kiri in English, and then for Greek names A purposes mostly, uh, it's Kiriyaki.

SPEAKER_00 51:00

The reason why I asked if she was a scouter, because Kiriyaki is a is a lovely name. Yeah. Until you get Andy, go Kiriaki. Basically, yeah. Kiriyaki.

SPEAKER_02 51:10

But her legal name is Kiri, because she was named after the opera singer that her mum loved. Yeah, there you go. Interesting. That's my best me. That's my favourite human.

SPEAKER_00 51:18

Well, imagine her doing the ancestry thing. Blood the L. All sorts of things have become. Yeah. Now, a little bit of a heads up on what I don't want to tell you when. I'm actually gonna do a thing on ancestry. Interesting. I'm gonna do two things, I think. I don't know if I mentioned on the last one last episode I found out history about the house.

SPEAKER_03 51:38

Mmm, maybe.

SPEAKER_00 51:39

Okay, I'm gonna tell you a little something. I've been looking into the history of when the house was built, who built it, and who's been here ever since. Uh, and we know that it's linked to a very well-known family in the area. Oh, okay. But it's also linked to one of the most um famous Victorian murders in Liverpool. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting. So I'm gonna do more work on that and I'm gonna present stuff to you. Um, but also um I've been listening to another podcast, and um it's all about the trials and tribulations of people who do like ancestry DNA packs tests, and um I've I've found some like real life stories of people who've done this, yeah, like properly blinkered by the whole thing, not thought about it, and it's opened up a can of worms, and you'd all assume it's like, oh, he's not my dad and all that. Yeah, you've not heard can of worms like the can of worms I've found. Unreal. Yeah, and so now I think ancestry and all the likes of them, they should be putting mournens on things.

SPEAKER_02 52:43

You don't always find things you want to find.

SPEAKER_00 52:45

A lot of people don't. I've got stuff that I'm like, oh, I'm I come from that, yeah. Yeah, I mean uh but I'm gonna I'm gonna do that at a later date because I found some fucking brilliant stuff brilliant. Interesting. Interesting tales, you know. Yeah, yeah. Right then, so we're gonna move on. Thank you very much for that. I really, really interested. Very welcome. And uh I've got a lazy lobotomy. I don't know whether you'd know or heard of anything about this. Okay, but it's something that I'm gonna discuss. It's a very, very short question. Okay. So, dear lazy lobotomy. I've heard there's such a thing as a professional submissive. Okay. Is this a paid role and what does it involve? Why would somebody pay a sub? Interesting. Didn't give me a name. Um, so I thought I'd give this a little bit of uh time. Have you ever heard of a professional sub?

SPEAKER_02 53:42

It's not something I've heard of, but it would make sense if you have a professional Dom. Why wouldn't you have a professional sub? Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 53:50

Well in in some senses. I'm sort of going back to what this person says. Why would you, why would somebody pay for professional sub? Because if if you were to walk into a BDSM venue, there's lots and lots of submissive slaves, bottom types who are unattached, who are looking for some form of play for nothing, yeah, for free. And so a dominant could go along to one of these venues and you have the right conversation, consent and blah blah blah, and you both get what you need. So why are the dominant pay a submissive?

SPEAKER_02 54:19

You got any ideas, why? Any any sort of clue? There's a little part of me that thinks because uh in in these kinds of dynamics, the submissive person is usually the one that has the most controls because they're the ones with the biggest concern around consent around them. I don't know if it's uh yes, I'm dominant, but also like this is all in your hands. I've literally paid you it's all in your hands kind of thing. That's where my head's gone.

SPEAKER_00 54:45

But I might be very far off. So, I mean, you're you're you're not wrong. There's lots of different reasons why people would pay a submissive. One of them, as you quite rightly say, and this is dangerous territory, but I want to bring it up first. One of them is that submissives they have ultimate control because you give them a safe word.

SPEAKER_02 55:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:04

But there's some professional submissives out there who can be hired to work without a safe word. I've not heard of one for years because there's been some really bad cases of abuse. Yes. Because they've been paid, therefore they can't tap out. I got you. You leave yourself wide open. Of course you are. So I've not heard of that for years, but that was a thing. Wow. Because you know, some dominants don't want to give the submissive power. For me, they're not a real dominant, and if that's the case.

SPEAKER_02 55:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:34

You know? So why then do people pay a professional submissive? There's not a lot of professional submissives out there. I've known probably enough to count on one hand in 20 years. One was a professional um submissive on uh photography shoots and film shoots. Yeah. So they um they would go into the submissive role um for shoots, um, but because the photographs would be or film were going to be dispersed um for for money or whatever, they would get paid for that. Right. Some submissives do it for free because they want the exposure, the experience, and that. But some professional submissives who maybe models maybe have been published. They're not models, but they've been published. Yeah. Because I know one in particular, a guy, and he grows his beard long on purpose and his hair long, and uh he's quite he's quite slim and hairy legs and all that, and he always plays the sort of like not always, but a lot of that the dirty slave carrying it the cutter like that. He's got the look. And so people like to pay him because he's got the look that they want for his shoes. That makes sense. Now, other um professional submissives are hired by dominants because they want to practice.

SPEAKER_02 56:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 56:56

Uh often that is double DOMs, actually, so you might have a more experienced male, a male or female dominant, and then a lesser experienced, and you'll pay a submissive to come in.

SPEAKER_02 57:06

Get yeah.

SPEAKER_00 57:06

Uh because they're not necessarily gonna get what they want. They won't get the headspace, the release of hormones, all that kind of thing, because there'll be a lot of talking in between in the session while you try and teach somebody. Yeah, and so that submissive won't get exactly what they need. So for their time, which could be whatever time, will just be an hour, probably they get paid for that.

SPEAKER_02 57:28

Get yeah, makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 57:29

If it was something that they were gonna get something from, you know, like their high or whatever, then that can be negotiated. Fair enough. Other reasons why somebody might be a professional sub? Um, I can't think of many more. Um, there was one, another one years ago, and she was professional submissive who offered sexual services. Right, okay. Um, and the reason why I went is because I don't think she was as submissive in the real BDSM sense. Yes, she was submissive sexually and would allow people to you know tie her up and stuff like that. I don't really think she enjoyed that side, but she you know she put herself about there as a professional submissive with her sexual services, um and she did very, very, very, very well. I was a good actually. Subs don't get paid as much. Yeah, sometimes subs will get paid in travel expenses, right? Okay, so it's not always a wage, so don't want all you subby types out there to start going, right? I'm handing moves, we're gonna go and be a professional sub. You won't have money out of it. A lot of it is just you know time, of course, really, or travel. Um, but I find that um the professional subs, they just bring a slightly different angle to things. When you've got a sub who isn't paying, um sorry, who who you're not paying, I don't know, they just seem to like fall to feet and worship you, they just feel like honoured to be in your presence. A professional submissive, they're they're playing a part.

SPEAKER_02 58:54

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 58:55

So iRolePlay and my role, they almost do the same. Yes. And so for me, um that I don't I don't know one actually who's had like sub drops and enjoyed the real submissive experience, it's always been to do a job. And then if they want to go and enjoy the proper submissive experience, they'll go to an event. Of course. So if you're thinking about it, it's not something to do if you want to feel submissive and get that submissive experience. It's something that if you're experienced and you've got something unique to offer, then it might be for you, and then you get your submissive sign in clubs or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 59:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:29

Um, but it's very competitive because there's not many, many people that want a professional sub. And so the few that are out there, um, I'm not sure how I can't say how busy they are, but there's not loads, there's not enough work for loads and loads of them. So if you're gonna do it, it'd definitely be something really niche. Yes, like this guy that I'm telling you about, he looks like he's been chained up for 30 years. I get yeah, you know, in hard time, you know, arms up in the air, he looks like that.

SPEAKER_02 59:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:55

Not when he's walking around the streets, obviously, but he can make himself look like that. He's so authentic. He's been in magazines and everything because of it. Go for him. So, yeah, if you've got something that's a little bit different, maybe. Yeah, yeah, it could be something. Fair enough. Would I recommend it? No, actually, I wouldn't, because I think you can have an awful lot more fun just going along to events and not thinking about the money side of it, really. I don't think anybody should get into BDSM expecting to make money, get into it to have a nice time, and then if opportunities come up to make money, then happy days, exactly that. And the professional submissives that I know they haven't sought out the work, they've just been a submissive in a club or wherever for years, and there's someone's approached them and said, Would you mind would you like to come along? It's a paid gig. And they've thought, oh, a paid gig. And then before you know, yeah. So there you go, professional submissive. So interesting thing. Um I don't think a lot of people know that this thing exists. Um, oh, somewhere else, there's some um like jail experiences, castles, dungeons that are like hotels in Europe, yeah. There's one in Poland, one in Germany that I really want to go to, all the places all around the world. And mistresses sometimes go on their own there, sometimes they take submissives with them. The submissives stay in the cells, the mistresses have got quarters, yeah, yeah. It's a holiday, and the whole thing is 24-7 BDSM. Oh wow, really, really like it. Um, and sometimes they'll pay submissives in these places as well for mistresses who don't have submissives with them, and you know they've still got pets to play with.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:26

Interesting.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:27

Basically.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:27

Makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:28

And I don't know anybody in this country that does that in the UK. Yeah. There are some um places where you can go and hire or stay, B and B's and all that, but I don't know any sort of castles, dungeons, prisons, or anything like that. That's another thing you can do without a few. How interesting is that? Bit different. So there you go. So whoever you are, I hope that's helped. When people um um leave me like a jarg name or something. Do you know rather than just like thanks? I get ya. Just so I can give you a name in my head. Yeah, exactly. Right, so before we finish, are we gonna do a little fetish factor?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:03

Fabious. I love these because I always learn something new. Every day's a school day.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:08

You might get this one.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:10

So do you know?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:12

The muffin man.

unknown 1:02:13

The muffin man! The muffin man!

SPEAKER_00 1:02:16

That's on Jolie Lane. Do you know if they were saying Kev? He went the nice legs or something. I can't remember why he said it's like fucking hell, Kev. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:25

I thought I'm in the last episode, the last episode. I have, because I commented. Of course you did.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:30

That lady in a boss of me. I just want to say that was beautiful. That was beautiful. Congratulations. Yes. Anyway, do you know what? Mastorphia is.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:43

Is it like obsessive wanking? Like masturbation. No. I thought someone had like a goon cave or something.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:50

There must be, um there must be a word for obsessive masturbation. Goonin'. That isn't goonin'. Okay. Goonin's a funny word though. It's a great word. There must be a word. I thought you might have got it, but do you know what actually? If it had asked Jimmy this, he probably would have gone to masturbation as well.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:11

I'm not saying you've got like, you know, a gutter brain like Jim.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:14

Do you know what it is? I watched a documentary on people with goon caves and it was really interesting. Um by a Scouse documentary maker. Really? I'll send it to you, send me the link. Yeah. No problem, I love him. Anyway, sorry. Nice. Mastophilia.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:27

If you think of mass. Oh yeah. So we have done boob fetish before. But I want to specifically talk about breast torture. Okay. So mastophilia is a sexual arousal from boobs, but it's actually what you do with them more than just the look of them. Yeah, yeah. Some mastophiliacs just they're just, you know, tit people, they just love boobs.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:50

But mastophilia is often associated with people that want to do things to them.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:55

Interesting. Because filia is obviously a kinker fetish for so a filia can just be an appearance, but in this case it's I want to do nasty things too. Yeah. So uh I have got very sensitive boobs and nipples now and never did. Fair enough. I like being whacked around them, believe it or not. Um, and squished and all that kind of thing. And nice things as well. Fair. So not everybody has got that though, and so not everybody out there could relate to it. I know some people don't want their boobs touching much at all. Yeah. Some people don't like the boobs touching at all in BDSM.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:30

Fair.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:30

Some people that are oversensitive, so if you touch the nipples, like, uh, like your teeth uh teeth tickled. Feetle tickle tickle feet tickled. But there are some people out there who have the have have set lots of different sensations, sensual and reaction to pain and tightness, constriction, all that kind of thing. And that's where we're going. So the mastophilia is torture of or manipulation of nipple and breast tissue and the surrounding area, the sensation, the power exchange, the psychological intensity as well, because it's it's a female thing. Yeah. If you put boobs in bondage, it's putting your femininity in bondage. I know we've got flaps and all that, but actually, when you think of a female form, you think of boobs, don't you? That is the main physical difference between someone's e-born female, born male, yeah, is breasts. Yeah. And so to put them in bondage, it it's binding the female, it's controlling the female. Yeah. And a lot of people quite like that. It's binding what makes them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:45

Interesting.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:45

Yeah. Also, there's a large number of nerve enders, a lot of sensitivity in nipples and breast tissue, and if you manipulate it in the right way, you can get a range of sensations. Interesting. So I've done like electric play on nipples, and that causes like Yeah, but because she's really sensitive on there, it's just like like little pins and needles. Oh, interesting. But if you do it in the right way, it can be quite arousing. See nipples going hard and all that. Hot cold.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:12

When you bind somebody's breasts, so I've seen breastbind and loads with rope and the boobs go like purple.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:19

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:19

Can't leave it like that for long. But then that makes them extra sensitive.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:23

So things like pinwheels, okay, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:26

Nails, ice, everything is hyper sensitive because the breast is bound. And um, if you bind both of them as well, I'll sometimes put uh hands up in the air, and the great targets then, especially if you've got big boobers like you, like nice big bangers and flogger, yeah, wafting them over the boobs that are tightly bound the sensations, and they haven't got to be painful floggers, they can be swayed. I get yeah, and you're getting this like slap waft, love that. And apparently it's very nice. I don't think I've been flogged over the boobs, I tend to be whacked, yeah, yeah, yeah. And and battened. I've been battened, that was very nice. So, like I say, it can produce this r wide range of sensation, um, and and again, dependent on if they're bound or not bound, and you know, if you are a sensitive person around your boobs and stuff like that, and some people can orgasm from their boobs, some people can orgasm from the nipples. Most people have heard of nipple orgasm. Yeah. I don't think most of you would have heard of breast orgasm. So that is breast manipulation. Interesting. Jimmy's gonna kill me. Okay, I'm gonna admit to being one of them people. I've just gone red. I've just gone red.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:42

I love the chicken.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:43

I can I can orgasm from my boobs.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:45

I wish I could. Mine are too heavy, I can't feel nothing.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:48

Well, do you know when they were big? I didn't really feel much at all. There's big bangers. Basically, yeah. Then I lost weight and I lost loads. I mean, boobs just went like little ollies and socks. I wish. Then I put a bit more on. So I put about a stone on now from then. So now I've got alright, boobs, I fill my bra again now. I got you. But when I lost loads of weight, they went dead sensitive. Now I was like, what the fuck's going on here all of a sudden? Yeah. So I was like, that was great. So now boob play is very much part of what we do and BDSM as well. And the first time I had an orgasm from my boob, I was like, what the fuck just happened? That's my I felt, Jimmy won't mind me saying this, I felt almost violated.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:26

Because I was like, I enjoyed it, but oh I didn't mono. I totally get it. It's weird. That's weird. It was the weird, I just my brain just couldn't compute it at all. And I was like, that this shouldn't be happening, and all that kind of thing. Anyway, it happened a few times after that, and now it's great. Yeah, it's now part and parcel of me. Love that. Both sides at the same time, independently, just nipples, just boobs. Anything fabulous. It's great. So that is something else that you can do with them as well. But with torture, you tend not to get people orgasming, it's more about the hormone release because it gets so sensitive. You start whacking them around, it's not the source of sensation that you'd get to bring you to orgasm.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:08

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:09

Yeah. People like to bite boobs, suck boobs, flick boobs, scratch boobs, all sorts of different things. And men, there's some men out there that love having their breast tissue manipulated. So obviously, there's some guys who have got more breast tissue than others. I have found the guys who've got more breast tissue have got more sensitivity around their breast and nipples. The guys who are more flat chested, they might have nipple sensitivity but not breast tissue uh tissue sensitivity. So I've played with a few submissives over the years. My ex uh submissive Ricardo, who died, he was one of them, and he had quite a bit of boob tissue, and he had really sensitive boobs. Okay. So guys can enjoy it as well. And you know what? Don't like don't feel embarrassed about your breast tissue and stuff. So if you're a submissive, dominants love breast tissue with your uh a boy, girl, anywhere in between, and binding them is really good. Oh, got this other thing, oh my god. It's like two round circles, leather, yeah, like that, with a hole in the middle, so for your nipples to go through. In the middle is a leather strap and a leather strap that goes around the back, and it goes over each nipple. But on the inside, on the underside, are what you call vampire claws.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:22

And they go right round. So you put them on, they dig into the nipples, and then you just pull them in at the back and dig right in. So a man with sensitive nipples, yeah, they tend to like that. I've used clothes pegs as well on nipples if you do this. Uh so clothes pegs on nipples, breast tissue, especially as scrosum. They're okay going on. So when you take them off. Oh my god, I've seen guys go white before today. Yeah, really, really, very bad. Yeah. And like anything, if you want to try this out, you know, start off light and builds it up, you shouldn't just go in any aisle kind of bondage straight away. No, without any kind of warm-up, and aftercare and talk about it afterwards, obviously, you know what worked, what didn't. Because breast bondage and torture is different for everybody, and what works for one person really doesn't work for the other. And last passing thought: if um you want to try this on somebody and they've had breast implants, you just gotta tread carefully, um, or recent surgery around the breasts, you know, tread very, very carefully. And actually, I'd probably avoid any sort of uh breast play on somebody who's had uh extensive breast surgery. I don't mean implants, but you know, reconstructors. Yes, yeah, yeah. So it might be that somebody's had breast cancer and they've had tissue taken from another part of the body and implanted in nipples moved, that kind of thing. Got some great job to do with these as well now, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:51

Yeah, amazing. Phenomenal.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:53

Um, I would avoid doing anything to that. It's it's scar tissue at the end of the day, and yeah, it's a prize possession. It's being put there for a reason. I wouldn't want to start messing around with it. Also, it's tissue from somewhere else. Yes, and so it might not necessarily be as sensitive because it's a different type of tissue, it might respond in a different way. Uh with implants though, um, yes, you can just you know very carefully because the skin is stretched over the implant, it might be there's no bondage as needed because it could be stretched enough. You just need to be careful with implants, however, apart from that, boobs are made to be handled a little bit, aren't they? You know, um babies suck on our nipples really hard. If any of you have breastfed out there, uh-huh. I don't want to do this and put you off if you haven't, but they don't just go, they suck hard and they need to suck hard. You probably don't know this, because the aim is to get the nipple, that's the nipple on the end. The aim is to get the nipple tissue right to the back of the mouth and the hard palate. So when babies breastfeed, they don't nipple feed the breastfeed. They don't interesting. They don't nipple the breastfeed.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:13

Wear and everything.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:13

And so you can suck the nipple right to the back, and that gives them really good, a good suck and reflex and efficient letdown of milk and all that kind of thing. Um there's a point to our why does it start top of breastfeeding? I can't remember. Uh because chebs are meant to be handled. Boobs meant to be handled, thank you. God, you're here. If there's another menopausal woman here, we'd both be going, no idea. We'll just wing it. We're just getting somewhere, we'll. Yeah, boobs and nipples are meant to be battered round a little bit. You know, that is sore, it does hurt. And any mother who says it isn't sore, the lion. At first it is, you get used to your nipples hardened, it's fine.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:51

But at first, it's like Jesus Christ, that's why.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:57

If it hurts more than a minute, wrong position, take it off, do it again. Little midwifery lesson there while you're there. But they're meant to be sucked and pulled and all the rest of it. They're hardy fuckers, they really are. So, you know, you can go for it, you can, and you know, you can injure them, but it's pretty hard to do bad injury to breasts because they're hardy, even though they flop around everywhere. They're pretty hardy. Yeah. And nice and sensitive, too. Experiment. Experiment with those babies.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:28

Love that.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:29

Yeah. I like a bit of boob play. Uh I'm when I'm with other people, playing with other people. I like playing with boobs. Oh no. Just nice, aren't they?

SPEAKER_02 1:14:36

They're just kind of there, aren't they?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:39

Boobs are never just there, sissi.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:41

No, but in a goad way.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:43

Like they're not just there, they're like.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:47

That's what I mean. That's what that was a really bad description of trying to look back on some of the things that I do.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:55

I've just gone. I watched myself doing the bookhacking.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:00

That made me howl.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:06

Anyway, so on that breastfeeding, breast torture bomb show.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:10

We're gonna go. So you're gonna do the thing today. If you're binge watching, put the cattle on. We'll see you in five. If not, we'll see you next week. See you next time.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:19

Thanks for joining us. And there we have it! Another day, many bass by listening to the creators of chaos. Thanks for dropping by. And if you enjoyed the show, we'd really appreciate you sharing your love the Papasel Podcast with your friends. Don't forget to give us a follow on our socials, maybe leave us some five-star reviews. And feel free to send us a mini mail automatic at the pathstellpodcast.co.uk or even interrupt us on Facebook because we love chat to stop five next week because Bowie says, I don't know where I'm going next, but I'll promise all the Pokemon. Catch it soon. Continue.