Ep. 45 Feeling Empty Despite Having it All? Defeat Feeling Off While Finding Freedom from Toxicity

Ever felt like there's a void in your life despite having everything you thought you wanted? 

Discover the personal journey of overcoming deep-seated feelings of emptiness and inadequacy, born from past betrayals and fears of loneliness. I share my experiences of navigating toxic relationships and overcompensating, revealing the profound impact of self-discovery and authentic transformation. 

This episode is an invitation to explore the barriers that hold you back from embracing your true self, and it promises to resonate with anyone who's felt unsupported or undervalued.

Embark on a journey towards authentic living by deepening your spiritual connection and harnessing powerful tools like trauma-informed care, somatics, and positive psychology. Learn how a prayerful life and a stronger relationship with God have been instrumental in my healing process, and how these practices, along with journaling, meditation, and supportive networks, can facilitate personal transformation. 

Join me in uncovering the secrets to shedding the weight of societal judgments and inspiring those around you through your own transformation. Access valuable resources designed to empower you, help you break down barriers, and lead you to a life aligned with your true purpose.

• Discussing the sense of feeling off despite external success
• Sharing my personal struggles with identity and self-worth
• The decision to break generational cycles of pain for my family's sake
• Understanding the barriers that prevent us from being our authentic selves
• The role of mindfulness and creative practices in healing
• Setting boundaries and the fear of losing relationships
• Encouragement to seek empowerment through self-discovery
• Invitation to access resources for personal transformation

Free Training Module 1 Sneak Peak - Overcome Barriers

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Chapters

• 0:07 Finding Yourself and Overcoming Barriers
• 17:00 Journey to Authentic Living

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:07

I remember a time where I was living life but something just felt off. I was wondering why I was feeling the way that I was feeling and I didn't truly understand it, but I just knew that something was missing, but I didn't know what was missing. Like I had my family, I had a job, I had all my needs and some of my wants, but something was just missing. Have you felt like something is just off, like something is just missing in your life? Can you relate? You may have even had a sense of feeling off, but at the same time, you don't know what to do about it because it's the only thing that you've ever known. So this episode today is going to answer why you feel off. I'm going to help point you in the right direction, because I know how it feels to be left, feeling off, to know that something is missing, that you want more in life and just don't know how to reach it. I know what it feels like to be wishing for a mentor or a guide or an older sister and not have anyone to turn to, not have anyone to understand where you're coming from because at the same time, you don't have the words for it. You just know something is off and that life has to be better. You're tired of feeling lost, confused and misunderstood. So, now that I figured out what the solution is and this is a real solution, a solution that works, a solution that matters, and one that I've been through myself I have used this solution for my clients. I've even shared it with family and friends and coworkers. So now let me point you in the right direction, to where you don't have to run around feeling off and knowing that something is missing. This is the perfect time for you to actually stop for a moment and download this episode for later, because you're going to want to listen to this again. But before we get started, I have a question for you. Will you help me? Will you help me point others to fulfilling that off feeling? If you said yes, I want you to take time right now to share this episode in your group, chat with a friend, with a co-worker, with the first person or group on your mind, or even to your social pages, because you see, this is an empowered healing that is greater than you and I. Hey, hey, welcome to who Am I? With Crystal J Me, where we overcome barriers, we discover authenticity and we elevate success with fulfillment and purpose. If you're ready for a real transformation and not just temporary fixes, and you know that you're ready to take control of your life, your career and live with the purpose, fulfillment and division that you see for your life, then you're definitely in the right place. Then you're definitely in the right place. This is where people learn to embrace waking up, feeling aligned with who you are, making decisions with confidence, transforming your relationships with yourself, with your partner and with others. This is the place if you're ready to break free from patterns that no longer serve you and step into your most authentic, empowered self. Welcome to who I Am.

Speaker 1: 4:38

With Crystal J, you see, I talk about overcoming barriers and discovering your authentic self and elevating your life with purpose and fulfillment and success. And I often get the question of why, why do I do what I do what I do? How did I become the who am I expert or the empowerment goddess and the certified somatic trauma-informed coach that I am? And today I want to share that with you. But, most importantly, I want to share with you what it really looks like when you discover who you are and why this transformation is so important and how it is life-changing and it's a real transformation, not temporary. So is that okay with you? Did I share that with you? I hope so. Was that okay with you that I share that with you? I hope so.

Speaker 1: 5:49

So you see, it started when I felt broken and was at my bottom. I always supported others, but didn't feel like I was supported myself, supported myself. I was tired of being attacked for stuff that I didn't do or was not of me. I was tired of people devaluing me. Am I going to get even? Am I going to teach people what it really means to hurt? Or was I going to finally find a way to heal from all the things that I was experiencing? Because I was tired, I was exhausted, I was broken, I was ashamed, I was lonely. I had no hope, or, let's say, I barely had any hope. I wanted to live, but I didn't want life. I wanted to finally sleep at night. I was tired of the eternal debate of am I good enough?

Speaker 1: 7:17

You see, what I know now is that there were barriers that left me feeling off, feeling unwanted, feeling like people just dealt with me just because that left me scared of being alone, scared of what people would think or say about me. Those are the things that had me feeling unsupported, and some others was originated from being cheated on, gaslighted, abused mentally, physically and sexually. These things, for me, manifested in me always saying yes even when I knew I should say no, and even in the times where in the my head I was yelling heck no, but my mouth would say of course I allow people to mistreat me. I dealt with being cheated on and disrespected because I was scared of living a life alone and that I wouldn't find nobody else. I remained silent, even when I knew that the people around me taught mess about me. I'd never spoke up for myself, or shall I say, I hardly ever spoke up for myself. I was stuck in jobs that weren't for me. I overworked myself to take care of everyone and everything while not getting the same. I would cry in my car and then go inside like nothing never happened. I would break in the shower, I would fall asleep crying. I was just lonely, confused, ashamed, lost and really feeling off, really feeling off.

Speaker 1: 9:31

So when I finally decided that it was time to heal or learn that something else, learn that there was something out there better I decided to do it for myself, but for also for my daughter. I didn't want her to live the life that I was living, to experience the things that I have experienced in my life. I wanted to teach her how to live confidently and with purpose and passion and success. I wanted my boys to feel supported and know their worth, along with my daughter, and know how to treat women right. I no longer wanted my children to see me in agony or hide the pain for them or be absent in their lives because I was too busy taking care of everything else by working two, three and sometimes going to school.

Speaker 1: 10:21

While doing all of this, and at times that left it to where I wasn't available to them. I provided their wants, their needs, but I wasn't available to them. I knew there had to be better and I needed to find it. It was no other option. I was tired of waiting for someone to hand me the handbook of a better life. I wanted that better life, so I had to go get it. I wanted to succeed and be fulfilled. I wanted real love and real acceptance. I wanted to find the solution of being off. I wanted to find that missing piece.

Speaker 1: 11:06

So what I learned in this process is that I had to learn to rewire my brain, and I didn't know what that meant, but I knew I needed to find out. I wanted to learn how my body, mind and spirit held barriers that were left behind by the traumatic experiences that I experienced in my life. I learned what invisible scars were. Did I hear about that prior? No, but now I know they exist and I'm sharing it with you. So I had to really discover the solution. And what is that? I had to finally learn who I am, because I didn't know who I was. I just knew I was Crystal and I was born and that I've been living the life that I've been living, but I didn't know who I was. And that was the missing piece. Because if I didn't know who I was and I was constantly being a follower and at times, acting like a leader and I'm just moving along with life, but I wasn't really living life, I was just here.

Speaker 1: 12:24

I wanted to know that I was worthy. I wanted to have confidence because, in the back of my mind, I knew I was confident. But how can I bring that out? But then again, what was I confident in? And so I poured into books, I poured into courses and programs, I listened to YouTube videos and and both oh my gosh Thousands of dollars of courses, programs. I listened to so much advice from experts. I started saying yes to me. I started learning to set, implement and stick to boundaries healthy boundaries. I learned what healthy communication was. I learned what a healthy support system was.

Speaker 1: 13:19

But through this process, there was hesitation. The hesitation lived in bits and pieces of my life during this process, and they were there because I was scared of losing people who I thought would be a part of my life for life. And I lost several of them in the beginning, of me standing up for me, of me setting boundaries, of no longer allowing people to run over me. So, of course, I was scared of who else would I lose? What if I lose my marriage? What if my children doesn't like who I'm turning into, or other members of my family? But I knew that I was doing the best for me and if I'm standing as the best for me, then if I'm the best me, then I'm going to be the best in all the roles that I possess possessed. So I had to continue to implement the changes that was meant for this better life, because that all feeling was starting to go away. Something missing was was starting to become clear and as I kept going it kept becoming easier and I would crave more. I discovered my worth. I became confident. I kept implementing what I was learning.

Speaker 1: 14:55

I started embracing meditation, therapeutic art. I loved my therapeutic art because I didn't know I was a creative. I never thought I would be a creative, but here I was, doing poor art, created a beautiful dining room table with my kids, created paintings that are now in my home. And then my favorite, one of my favorites, because the dining room table. That's my absolute favorite. I already told my kids they can't even get rid of that table. That is now a family heirloom. But what I really enjoyed was the process of learning how to work with epoxy, the levels and depth to it.

Speaker 1: 15:40

Then I became real brave and decided that I wanted to make a set of rubber tables. Y'all they're beautiful. But I love the process because the process also reminded me of my journey to healing One part A, one part B, stirring it like crazy, making sure it really mixed and intertwined, and then sitting up there and pouring it and watching the bubbles form and having to pop them, taking what people would think was an ugly piece of wood and sanding it down, showing its grooves and its natural state of beauty that was covered by the roughness of the traumatic experiences that it had went through. Seeing that it also brought along my husband and children that helped me in this process, and so they weren't only helping me in the process of these river tables, they were the ones who circled around me in this process of healing as well. And then putting them all together and having to go layer by layer, popping the bubbles where I want popped, mixing the colors where I wanted colors, watching it harden to the state of beauty that they're now in.

Speaker 1: 17:00

I embraced a prayer life. I started studying the Bible more. I've built an intimate relationship with God, and that took my healing to another level. I then knew that for lasting change there needed to be more. So I learned about trauma-informed care. I started sharing that with everyone, because this is about true lasting change, transformation. I learned more skills like somatics and positive psychology and law of attraction. I began being more understanding. I was communicating better and I learned to take much needed breaks. So the success of becoming unstoppable, becoming authentically me, becoming who I am and live with God's grace, mercy and love. I began showing up everywhere as my authentic self, proud, honest and loving myself more than I ever loved myself before, being able to really be a person that can listen, to understand. I feel like I was pretty good with that before, but this was a whole nother level.

Speaker 1: 18:23

The power of living an elevated life is that I no longer allow what others think of me stop me from living my life. I learned that some people react to life because of their own story and it's up to them to make the changes necessary to where, instead of them reacting because of the barriers that are in their life, for them to really begin learning to rewire their mind, their system, because that's where change is really going to come from. So, you see, I live with more peace than ever before, because I didn't know peace when I was living in the pain, the shame, the agony, the feeling of feeling off and knowing that something was missing. You see, now I live, loving who I am. I have skills and tools that are with me in me to where I can pull them out for the difficult times, when I get sad, I journal or I create, I check in with myself, determine the route and move accordingly. When I'm overwhelmed, I have tools, resources and a support system to help me through that.

Speaker 1: 19:52

Meditation is implemented all up and through my life because I see where it can help me gain the clarity that I need for that moment in time, or the energy that I need to help push me through, or the clarity that I need to figure out what's my next step. I know to listen to certain songs, which right now one of my favorite ones is God Did it. That song just energized me when I don't have no energy and it's out of appreciation and love for my journey as well. It helps release that serotonin and dopamine that I need to really live my best life. I'm able to live by example, showing people what it really means to go from pain to purpose, from living with the barriers, that trauma implemented in my life, to really loving life and living life to the fullest, to being and feeling unwanted, to living a life to where now I'm unstoppable, unwanted to living a life to where now I'm unstoppable. Yes, there's difficult times, but I have tools in my tool bag to help me through, tools that will continue to help me even when life is lifing. I now know how to overcome barriers, discover my authenticity and unlock my potential and live an elevated life, and that is what I teach, that is what I live by, that is what I want for you.

Speaker 1: 21:38

So, as we wrap this episode, I want to acknowledge that feeling of off or something's missing. It can be deeply unsettling and I want you to know that you're not alone and it's okay to seek understanding and healing. I want you to know that your feelings are valid. You don't have to do this alone. Again, again, again, again, I'm going to say you don't have to do this alone, because I've been there and I don't want you to do this alone. I'm here to guide you, to empower you through this journey, through this empowered, transformational healing journey, because I truly believe that, with empowerment, your healing journey will be transformational. I've seen it in myself, I've seen it in others, I've seen it in my clients. So if anything that I've shared today resonates with you, I invite you to take the next step towards clarity and empowerment. I've created a free resource that goes into understanding the barriers that might be holding you back and how they are affecting your mind, body and spirit. I'm going to be honest with you this isn't a quick fix. It's the beginning. It's a start of a transformative journey. I've seen this work wonders, and again, not just for me, but for many others who were once where you are now.

Speaker 1: 23:11

If you're ready to uncover what's holding you back and begin creating real change, lasting change, I want you to head to wwwkrystaljaecom. Forward slash sneak peek. The link is also going to be in the show notes, so go over there and get your access. What's going to happen is it's going to take you to a page and you enter your email and you're going to gain immediate access to module one of my breakthrough to authenticity program. This is the first time I've ever done anything like this and I'm going to be honest, I don't know how long I'm going to keep this open, but I want you to take action now. You see, it's filled with powerful insights, practical tools and grounding techniques that you can start using right away. In fact, I tell you over and over and over to begin using them, to begin implementing them in your life, because you deserve to feel empowered, to feel seen and to fully live aligned with who you are.

Speaker 1: 24:35

If you're ready to begin this journey of self-discovery and healing, go to the link and get this free access to module one and let's begin you on your journey of transformation Now. I'm with you every step of the way and if you're like you know what module one feels good, but I really want to be in the full program. I'm really, really, really ready to take action now for change. I want my life that I'm living now to be a lot different in six months. Then you head to wwwcrystaljcom. Forward slash breakthrough and join the breakthrough to authenticity program. Join the Breakthrough to Authenticity program. Go to that page and remember to empower $3,500 so that way you can get that discount to get into that program.

Speaker 1: 25:35

This is lasting change and it's up to you to take it, and I know that you can do this. I believe in you. This, I believe in you. These links are waiting for you in the show notes, so click one of them now and let's get started. Then share this with someone who you know deserves to live their best life to know who they are. I'm going to ask you something Don't? Everybody deserve to know who they are authentically? Everyone deserves to say everybody deserves to say I know who I am. So what are you waiting for? Take action. It's your turn to overcome the barriers, to discover your authenticity and to live an elevated life with success, fulfillment and purpose. See you next time.