93. You Belong: God's Take on Comparison

Have you ever looked around and felt like you didn’t belong—even in spaces where you’ve shown up faithfully? In this heartfelt and vulnerable episode, I share my personal journey of wrestling with comparison, grief, delayed dreams, and the quiet question many of us ask:
“Why would God show me what I’ll never have?”

Through real-life reflection and biblical insight, I explore how God lovingly reveals the places in us that still need healing—not to punish us, but to draw us closer to His love. Whether you’re navigating delayed dreams, childhood wounds, or that ache to feel truly seen and supported, this episode is for you.

You are not too late. You are not too broken. And you are not disqualified.

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Scriptures Referenced:

Psalm 139:1–2 (NIV)
You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

Isaiah 61:3 (NIV)
…and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of joy instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

John 4:29 (NIV)
“Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did.
Could this be the Messiah?”

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In This Episode, You’ll Hear:
• A deeply personal story of feeling unseen and out of place in church
• The cost of walking away from a life of worldly success to follow Christ
• Honest reflections on grief, loss, and spiritual disappointment
• A healing perspective on comparison and unmet desires
• God’s invitation to deeper love and healing
• A prayer for anyone feeling like an outsider in their own story

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Reflection Question:
What is God showing you—not to hurt you, but to heal you?

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Take This With You:
“God is not showing you what you’ll never have. He’s showing you where you still need to be loved.”

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Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.
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With love and light,

Alexandra

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Transcript

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Hi, friend, and welcome back to Curious for Christ. Today's episode is tender. It's actually personal, and it's something I think so many of us feel. Even if we rarely say it out loud, why would God show me something I'll never have? That's a question that came straight from my own heart, right in the middle of a Sunday service. I was sitting in church surrounded by beautiful families, some of which I did not recognize. Kids were laughing with their grandparents and extended families, couples who seemed perfectly in sync. And then there's that woman that passed by who looked like the version of me I always imagined I'd be, and I couldn't help it. I felt out of place. I've been in this church for years, years. And yet, if I'm honest, I felt like I didn't belong. Like maybe I never really had. Can you relate? Stick with me, my friend, because God showed me something that just might change the way you see it too. Welcome to Curious For Christ. Do you ever find yourself lying, awake at night, wondering about God's plan for your life? Maybe you wake up with big dreams, but feel unsure where to start or what your next step should be. If you're curious about exploring your faith and finding purpose, then you've come to the right place. Hi, I'm Alexandra. I too felt lost, unsure of the direction my life was leaking. I yearned or understand my purpose and have someone guide me. But I kept telling myself I was too busy. The timing wasn't right, and my lack of clarity prevented me from being consistent until I found Christ. He brought peace into my life and revealed the way to find purpose by anchoring myself. In him. In this podcast, we'll journey together exploring the Bible to gain a deeper understanding of him and cultivate your own personal relationship with Christ. So open up your Bible, put in those earbuds and listen up because God is speaking to you. He's making everything new and you don't wanna miss it. Let's get started. Psalm 1 39 verses one through two says, you have searched me Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise, you perceive my thoughts from afar, and yet even knowing that I still wrestle. I've lived a life full of contrasts. Before I followed Jesus and after I moved to the United States, I dated a man who ran a successful art business. We traveled, we visited celebrity homes. I was immersed in that world for a while. And then I walked away from it, not because it wasn't appealing, but because I was studying the Bible at the time and I felt that God was calling me. He was calling me home. And so I chose a new life with God, and then I met and married a wonderful man, and then I continued following Christ just the way I knew it and learning and growing in him. But even now, after two decades, I realize I need to revisit that entire story over and over because healing isn't just a one-time decision. It's a journey and it is my responsibility. I need to walk that walk of what I need to heal in my heart with God. And here's the truth. I rarely speak out loud. I lost my mother very young that I've shared on the podcast and that pain. Runs really deep, and for years I tried to avoid it or I would say I wasn't ready to meet myself in that pain. But growing up it left me feeling dirty and seeing like I wasn't worth staying for, I wasn't worth living for. And even now as a grown woman, a mother, a wife, podcast, a realtor, so many hats. There are still moments I feel like an orphan in this world trying to belong. Trying not to compare. Trying not to crumble under the egg. I hide so well. Can you relate? And sometimes I get angry with God. Why after all that I've surrendered, does he keep showing me images of what I don't have and never will? I don't have grandparents for my children. They passed long ago. And I'm getting older, and yes, I'm closer to God than I ever been, and I feel his love But then I have these emotions, these strong feelings that keep reappearing in the church. The same church that I've been to for two decades and around me. I see families that seem whole and for me, dreams that feel delayed and delayed and delayed like acting or writing or walking in purpose. Why light a fire in my heart and make me wait decades to see it burn? And then God whispered something to me, something that unraveled the lie and brought healing straight to my heart. But to be able to hear it, I had to bring all my emotions raw, just like David in the Psalms to him. And this is a thought that I had. I'm not showing you. What you'll never have. I'm showing you where you still need to be loved. And that hit me so hard. It stopped me in my track and it moved me because what if comparison isn't punishment but invitation? What if God is pulling us into deeper intimacy? He's inviting us to bring him the wounds, not just the polished dreams or the Sunday best prayers or the everyday best prayers, but the ache, the longing, the fear of being left out, not good enough or permanently behind. He sees all of that and he doesn't flinch. Isaiah 61 verse three says, God gives us a crown of beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and a garment of praise for a spirit of despair. What a promise. So don't run away from the painful relationships, family, church, or even brief interactions because all of those can be mirrors. They reveal where healing still needs to go deeper and that's not something to be ashamed of. So don't run away from it. Because actually, that's exactly where Jesus meets us. That's where resurrection starts. So no, I don't have all the answers, but here's what I know. You are not alone. You are not too late, you are not disqualified by your wounds, and you are certainly not overlooked by God. So here's a reflection question for you. What is God showing you today? Not to hurt you, but to heal you. Let's pray together. Father, you see every egg we carry the longing to belong, the dreams that feel forgotten. The childhood wounds that still speak loudly. Would you meet us in those places? Not with shame, but with love? Remind us that you haven't abandoned us. You are writing a beautiful story and it's not over yet. Help us trust you. Even here in Jesus' name I pray. Amen. So that is it for today, my friend. If this episode touched you, would you do me a favor and share it with someone who might need it to? And if you haven't already subscribe to the show. We are building a community that's real healing and always pointing back to Jesus. You don't have to pretend to be okay in the presence of God. He already knows and he's already there. Until next time, stay curious. Bring your full self to Christ Wounded Whole and everything in between. Hi, I hope you enjoy today's episode. If so, would you like to take 30 seconds and share it with a friend who may also struggle with knowing God and his purpose for their life? Also, leave a review on Apple Podcasts and let me know what topics you'd like to hear about in the future. Your voice matters. I'll meet you back next Friday. For another episode.