So...it's that time of year! Do you make a new year's resolution? Do you skip it? Is the new year a new opportunity, or just a date on the calendar? Malcolm and Tana talk about the concept of new year's resolutions, goals and themes for life, and friendships.
So...it's that time of year! Do you make a new year's resolution? Do you skip it? Is the new year a new opportunity, or just a date on the calendar? Malcolm and Tana talk about the concept of new year's resolutions, goals and themes for life, and friendships.
So. So. Do you have a New Year's resolution?
Tana:Wow, you're just like jumping right in. No, hi, how you doing? No, no, hi. What's been going on? No. Nice to see you. No. What happened this week that was interesting? No. Really? Resolution. Oh, I, uh, I'm sorry, can you repeat the question?
Malcolm:What is your New Year's resolution for this year? I don't have one yet. Well, shit, there goes the episode. I
Tana:go back and forth on New Year's resolutions. Like, there is something, there's nothing magical about January 1st, but there is, like, sort of a night, the idea that, like, oh, it's a new year, so it's a clean slate, you know. Um, but I've never, I don't think I've ever kept a New Year's resolution, like, Very long. Um,
Malcolm:and very, very rarely made one and I feel like it's only been because I've been at school and you'll have those school things. Like what's your new year's resolution, which I don't, why, why are you being personal with me? You don't care.
Tana:Yeah. So, um, I don't know, I guess. Um, uh, I think one thing that I have struggled with my entire life, and if you were to say you get, you have to pick one resolution, like one new habit, one good change or something like that, I think I would say getting myself to bed, uh, earlier on a regular basis because I'm always tired. Um, I have a very bad habit of doing the bedtime procrastination thing. And, uh, and then I always feel like crap and it affects all the other parts of my day cause I'm too tired to do a lot of stuff during the day and then I just stay up. See, the world runs on morning people. It really does. And extroverts.
Malcolm:And extroverts. Cause my ideal sleeping time Is four to noon.
Tana:Well, that is natural for your age, actually. It'll like change over time. Yeah,
Malcolm:it's for me. It's like consistently I will fall asleep at four and I'll get up at noon and I'll feel fine. If I'm woken up before then, then I'll be groggy as hell. Even if I go to sleep earlier than four, I'll still be groggy. But if I try to stay up past four, it's really hard because I'm just, I just feel super tired. Uh, so four to noon, that's my sleeping time. And I'm at this point used to waking up at eight o'clock anyways after falling asleep at four. So,
Tana:here I am.
Malcolm:Fun. Four hours of sleep a
Tana:day. Yeah. Oof, that's not good. That's not healthy. No. No. I'm suffering. But there's so many things that are connected to sleep, right? Like it's not just being well rested and then having the energy to get through the day. But there's also all these studies that show if you're not well rested, your body craves more fat and sugar.
Malcolm:That's Very self deprivating of our bodies. Right.
Tana:And,
Malcolm:uh, you're being unhealthy, be unhealthy more.
Tana:Right. Yeah, exactly. And, um, you're not being unhealthy enough. Um, and you know, one of my other resolutions, like every year I'd be like, I'm going to lose weight, you know? Uh, but I really think that for me, the sleep is the root of the problem. And so if I can, Fix that, then I think a lot of other things would start to fall into place.
Malcolm:Comfort and health is such a big thing for people. Like, I remember Imagine that! I know, right? It's crazy. But I remember, like, for so long, stuff like sports teams and stuff would be like, solid beds and Um, like, hard worked routines and stuff like that for the sports team. And there was this one sports team, actually makes me think of Ted Lasso when thinking about this, but, um, I don't remember what it was. Somebody told, told me it, so I'm getting this from like, second hand source, uh, or third hand, I guess. Um, is that this coach came in and, like, didn't, He didn't, like, have these amazing techniques for the sport or anything like that. He just got them new beds that were comfortable and good for them. He, like, got, uh, he, like, threw parties and everything for the players and they, like, would go out to eat and stuff like that and then they started having a winning season after not winning for, like, years in a row. Wow.
Tana:Wow. Yeah, I don't think people fully understand the value of rest. Like, because there's also, like, bosses that will push and push and push their employees and be reluctant to give them breaks and, like, not be cognizant of downtime, of, you know, maybe there's companies that just don't give enough, uh, vacation time or,
Malcolm:you know. For some reason people think that being hard on someone is the only way to work something into someone.
Tana:Yeah, there's a really big, there's, I think that is slowing with each generation, but
Malcolm:That's like teaching your dog tricks, but instead of giving them treats, just beating them. Right, right. Like, that's such a weird philosophy to have.
Tana:Yeah, and there's, and unfortunately it's still a very American mainstream Ideal is like being tough as nails and like gonna, you know, um, and not recognizing like your body needs rest and your minds need rest.
Malcolm:Yeah. Who's going to live longer, sucker. Right. Yeah. Who's really tough.
Tana:Not so tough in your coffin, are you?
Malcolm:What was it that I said the other episode? Just like, be born right or something like that? Or like Maybe you should have been born better. Um, but Uh, yeah, there's a YouTube channel I really like, CGP Grey, and I know I showed it to you a few years ago when he first did the episode. Yeah. Um, but it's like, to have a general theme. For the year instead of being something specific like a book a week, because then you really limit yourself to something. Mm-Hmm. So would your, would, would your year of the year of bed?
Tana:Actually, I was think year of sleep. I was thinking about that. Um, because, uh. Yeah, I was thinking about the, like, the year of theme thing. Could do year of relaxing. Uh, but no, I actually, because for me, I'm always like, I have a hard, I have a hard time, when, when you first showed me that video, I was like, I can't imagine limiting it to one thing. Like, it just felt so I think it's a very
Malcolm:common thing, I feel like, for people to be like, yeah, I'm, I feel like especially the book a week thing. Maybe not a book a week, but I think a lot of people do like, I'm going to read like two books a month or something like that. I feel like whenever it's books, it's always something specific. Yeah. Like
Tana:I'll read X number of books.
Malcolm:But he pointed out, he's like, if you just make it year of reading, you might discover that you actually like reading articles and not books. And so then you'll read maybe an article a week instead, or, but like, as soon as you miss one week of not reading a book. Then you're suddenly not motivated to continue doing it anymore. Right. Right. So just making it year of reading is like, Oh, if you go a week that it was really busy and you didn't read a book, you can always read the next week.
Tana:You know what always ends up happening with me because I always set a goal on Goodreads of like, I'm going to read this many books. And then inevitably what happens is I read like a few books in the first half of the year. I don't read that many books, maybe one a month. And then I'll get to like July or August, sometimes even as late as October. And I'll go, Oh my gosh, I'm so short on my goal. And then instead of, it's such a weird thing. And I feel like. Obligated to this specific goal, and then I will start reading a ton of books and then instead of looking for books that might interest me, I look for short books because I want to get my goal in and so then I end up reading all this stuff that I don't really care about and it's like, why? But in my brain, I'm like, I have to hit this goal. So I do like the idea of, um, Like the year of reading, like just being like, I'm going to read more. I'm going to, you know, and I think I may release myself from a specific reading goal this year and just, you know, I do want to read more, but like not, not be so focused on like, That, that goal, cause I want to, maybe, maybe my thought process about it will be read more things that are interesting to me and enrich me and whatever. But I do think, like, year of sleep, year of rest, I guess.
Malcolm:Yeah, that's what I was saying, year of relaxing, year of rest, cause then it's even broader.
Tana:Yeah, but for me, really, the thing that I I need to work on is the sleep. And I remember, I think it was a Reader's Digest thing. There was a, uh, like a campaign that was like, just change one or something like that. And the idea was we try to change too many habits at once. And so we get overwhelmed and our bodies shut down. And we're like, they're, they're like, where's my routines? Where's my habits? Like, you know, um, and the, the idea was just change one thing at a time instead of trying to be like, all right, I'm going to start getting up earlier and running and eating salads and, you know what I mean? It's like, I'm going to change everything about my life all at once. Um, so I think for me to sleep is good to start.
Malcolm:I think that includes planning, planning, because I think what a lot of people do is they hear that and they're like, okay, so I'm going to do this for a month and then in a month, I'll start. So like right now I'll start eating healthy and then after I've been eating healthy for a little bit I'll start running in the morning. And so those so that seems
Tana:like a better approach
Malcolm:I think it's a better approach, but I think you're still limiting yourself Because then you only have a month to eat healthier, right? And then you're still focused on it I think you just need to be like, okay right now I need I want to feel better about myself So I'm just going to eat healthier And I mean, that's kind of what I've been doing. I didn't really mean to, but I was just like, I just kind of want some better stuff from it. Like I'm not going to get like Cheez Its or Goldfish or candy. Like I've, I've entirely cut out red, like red dye 40 or yellow five or any of those dyes. And I've started eating more fruits and vegetables and like I've been eating. Carrots and celery with ranch and a bunch of berries as snacks instead of I mean, I still eat cheese and crackers, but that's not exactly bad for you,
Tana:so It's not, um, the, the healthiest snack, but it's better than chowing down on a candy bar. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's I just completely lost what I was gonna say. I started the sentence and then it just went out of my head.
Malcolm:Okay. Well, then I'll, I'll go on to my New Year's resolution. Please do, yes. Um, I, I'm also kind of unsure, I kind of want to do year of reading. Um, but I feel like I already did that this year, because I started reading a lot more comics than I, than I used to, and that was mostly because Uh, Dad gave me the iPad, and so then on the iPad, I'm, cause it was, my gosh, I really wanted to read comics, but I had the comic app on my phone, and reading it on my phone was so hard to do, and like, hurt my eyes and everything, it was hurting my neck, um, but getting the iPad, it's basically the size of an actual comic book, so it was like, it was perfect, and so I started reading a ton, um, and so I kind of want to Just be like, you're reading and just continue reading. But I almost feel like a New Year's resolution has to be something new? I mean, suggested by the names? But now I'm like, now I'm thinking about that, I'm like, that's such a stupid concept. Like, why would I have to make a new thing? Why couldn't I just make it my New Year's resolution to just keep up what I'm doing? Eh,
Tana:actually, that's, that's kind
Malcolm:of great. Like, why, why do I have to Do something new and fandangled.
Tana:Fandangled. I don't know. Fandangled. Yep. I like it. Me too. Uh, yeah, especially since a lot of people, wait, I'm actually really curious. I can't remember what percentage, like, I think most people abandoned their route. I was going to say revolutions.
Malcolm:Don't tell the French. Yes. By
Tana:January? Yeah, but like, they don't even get out of the month.
Malcolm:Um, yeah. I, uh, I think some people also just forget. I mean, I think it's a fun thing to do in the moment, but most people aren't really serious about it. And so they'll make a New Year's resolution and just forget. And then in like February, they'll be like, Oh yeah, I was doing that.
Tana:Right.
Malcolm:Well, um, I think other people will strive to do it. And then just like fail once. Like I said, they'll like skip that one week.
Tana:And then they'll be like, it's all ruined. Yep. Yeah. That's, that's, that's an interesting thing. Um, dieters tend to do is, uh, they're like, well, I've, I've eaten healthy today. And then they like, they're like. Oh, I just ate a candy bar. Well, the day's ruined. And then they just like eat a whole bunch of orangey. Um, so here's, uh, research suggests that only 9 percent of Americans that make resolutions complete them. I feel like that's too high. That does actually kind of feel high, which is sad, but it says research, research goes on 23 percent of people quit their resolution by the end of the first week and 43 percent quit by the end of January. That sounds about right though. That, that does sound about right. Um, here's another
Malcolm:thing, you don't have to start it in January. Yeah,
Tana:I mean
Malcolm:you can start anytime. You can just be like, for the rest of the year I want to do this, or just save for now on. You don't even have to save for the year. I think even a year is limiting. I think what you should actually say is like, I just want to start
Tana:Yeah, you know, thinking back to that change one thing that I was talking about. Yeah. Um, I think the idea, a good idea would be like to do that until it is, Just a habit in your life that is like your way of life now. And then maybe you can add another, another thing. Yeah. You know, that feels like that would be more, more doable and more sustainable because you've made it your thing. Yeah. And, and I, and I've seen all kinds of different things. Like, oh, it takes three weeks, it takes six weeks, or whatever. There's no time limit on it. Well, the thing is though, the, the key is. Consistency, if you can just, I think even if we could just switch our mindset, right? And just be like, okay, I'm going to do this for the next three weeks and then I'm releasing myself. You know what I mean? But then by the time you get to those, end of those three weeks, then you're like, oh, now I'm in the habit of doing this and I actually kind of like it, you know,
Malcolm:yeah, maybe. But then I think some people will also just take the release. Sure, sure. They'll just take it as
Tana:an assignment. Yeah, but there's a lot of things I see like there's even one thing I was reading about concentration and it was saying just Just, if you're having a hard time getting down to work, right, just be like, all right, I'm just going to do this for five minutes. That's all I have to do is just five minutes so I can get something done on it. And then like you get to the end of five minutes and you're probably kind of into it then and you're like, okay, I'm going to just five more minutes and then like you just keep doing that and then eventually like your brain is like, oh, I'm now I'm, I'm able to concentrate on this thing. Now I'm into it. Yeah.
Malcolm:Um, doesn't work for me, that's for sure. Uh, yeah. I don't know, I, I think for me it's the assignment. I don't think it, I think as soon as it's assigned, I am
Tana:disinterested. See, I'm the opposite. I, I respond well to deadlines and, um, schedules and parameters. I'm so traumatized
Malcolm:by school, just
Tana:I think none of that, I think for me, school made sense to me. And so that's part of the reason why it's still like a motivator for me to have, like, like if you just tell me like, Oh, I just need you to do this thing, but you don't give me a deadline, I'm going to like. Put it off and put it off and put it off. And so you're like, have you done that thing yet? I really need it by tomorrow. And then I'll go like, Oh crap. And do
Malcolm:it. I had a disagreement with one of my previous bosses because they wanted me to do something outside of work. And I was like, no, right. Yeah. Um, or no, I was because what I was doing is I was updating the, uh, Um, instructions and checklists for running the exhibits at the zoo. Uh huh. And I was updating those because they were outdated by like years. Mm hmm. Um, and this was actually a voluntary thing because I didn't really have anything else to do. Mm hmm. And at one point they started giving me, giving me like almost no free time. Mm hmm. Uh, to do it, which makes sense. I mean, I have a job. I should be doing other stuff, not just stuff I voluntarily did. But I just asked them, I was like, is there any time that you'd be able, sorry, that you'd be able to just like have me come in for like an hour or two and then I could probably finish it up in that time? Yeah. And I get paid a little bit, that's great. And they basically told me to just do it. on my own time and that's it. And I was like, I'm not, I was like, I'm not going to do work when I'm not getting paid for it. Yeah. I was like, but then I won't get paid for it. And they're like, I know. And I'm like, then I'm not going to do it. And they're like, why? And I was like, cause I'm not getting paid for it.
Tana:It is so, it's just so bizarre to me how many things that employers are just like. Why can't you do that on your own time? Like, um, So
Malcolm:if there's a half completed checklist for one of the exhibits at the zoo, it was me.
Tana:Well, I mean, kudos for you to you for, uh, you know, not being like, Oh sure. You know, cause that's, that's
Malcolm:BS. I've so done with school. I'm not, I'm not taking homework assignments anymore. Right. No. Yeah. Um, no more 40 hours without getting paid. Right.
Tana:Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man.
Malcolm:I had to pay to work 40 hours. That's not fair.
Tana:You know what? There's a whole argument with that with college about grades and stuff and about how like if you pay your college tuition and you're going to the classes, you should get a degree because you've paid for the degree. This is true. And I was like. I didn't know how to respond to that because I see what they're
Malcolm:saying. I hate the rich assholes that just get everything because they have money. But at the same time, I'm paying over 10, 000 in tuition to go to a school. Right. I am attending every class, but I just can't keep up with it.
Tana:Yeah, it is a very interesting Especially since
Malcolm:then, most of the time it's actually the teacher's fault, and not the student's fault.
Tana:It's, it's, I don't know about most of the time. Well, not most of the time, but I mean But there are times. Yeah, there's, there's times when pastors, teachers are, uh, like really
Malcolm:super strict. Professors don't need a degree in education to teach at a school. They do not
Tana:need a degree in education to teach at college. They need a degree in the subject matter that they're teaching. But yeah, a lot of, a lot of professors do not get pedagogy lessons, which is, which shows. But, um, but yeah, I didn't know how to argue against that because on the one hand I'm like, well, if you don't do the work, you don't deserve the degree. You know what I mean? But one part of me is like, but you pay, you're paying to be here, which is why I think Universal Free College is a good idea, because then it is actually merit based. It's voluntary work. Yeah. It's, it's like if you get, you're not guaranteed a degree if you don't do the work and, you know. Especially
Malcolm:since C's to get degrees, you don't even need to get A's, you just need to pass the class. D's
Tana:get degrees. D's get degrees. You know, and well, I guess it depends on some colleges like they have cutoffs and stuff. But I think C's are just safer. Yeah, probably. But, but yeah, there are times when I'm like, I can't believe this person is so bad at their job. And then I'm like, Hmm. Like, just because they have a degree in that thing doesn't mean they're good at it.
Malcolm:For the classes I didn't like, I would just calculate how much I needed to get a C and that would be it. Oh my
Tana:gosh, you are your best. You are your father's son. I mean, I know that's an obvious statement, but he did the same thing. I would go in, do
Malcolm:a test. It would get me up to a B or a C. Because that's honestly what most grades are, are the tests, and then I'd
Tana:be on my way. See, I was too much of a high achiever to do that, which is why I ain't gonna do extra work.
Malcolm:I said, I ain't going to do extra work. I, as I said, I'm not getting paid. Why would I do extra work?
Tana:That's funny. Um, which is why I, uh, respond well when I have like a, well, respond well is. Relative, I guess. But if it's like, oh, I'm planning, I need to, I want to read 52 books this year. If I haven't reached that goal, then I'll be like, oh my gosh, I need to read more and I'll read more. But, but again, is it actually worth anything because I'm reading stuff that I'm not interested in? I definitely
Malcolm:have to decide stuff myself and There's a certain level of sophistication to that because obviously I can assign stuff to myself and then it doesn't work, but if I just am like I just kind of want to do this thing, like I just kind of want to, want to actually do it and perform it, not just I should do this thing so I'm going to assign it to myself, then I will, I will do it with flying colors. Yeah. And everything like that. Yeah. And so there were times in school where I would just do that. Yeah. Um, and I would get like an A in the class because I would actually like the class, like I liked my Japanese culture class, that was a lot of fun. Um, and so I think the same goes for the, uh, New Year's resolutions, it's just like, I can't just be like, okay, I have to do this thing during this time frame. Or even just, I have to do this thing. It's It's like homework for an entire year. Yeah, exactly.
Tana:Oh God. But if you can look at it like a theme, my, this is my year of something, then that is a positive, like this is a positive thing I want. Like I want more reading in my life or, uh, this is my year of family. I want to spend more time with my family or this is my year of creativity. I'm going to finally start doing all that stuff I wanted to do. I think the
Malcolm:best thing as well as the word start, always think of the word start and not. Like Because I think what a lot of people think is they have to immediately get into it and then do it the whole year The goal of that year is to just start doing it. Mm hmm Interesting. So by the end of the year if you even if you had just gotten into it and November or December and you finally managed to pick yourself up on it. Mm hmm, and you've succeeded for that New Year's resolution Because
Tana:you've started it yeah, because you don't have a specific goal that you're supposed to meet by the end of the year of like Like if the year of reading like reading so many books or yeah, it's just oh by the end of the year I will have established a habit of reading more or something
Malcolm:Yeah, and so that's why I think Now that I am thinking about it, um, my New Year's resolution might just be to just keep doing what I'm doing, which is just, like, even before I, uh, uh, quit my job and everything, I was still budgeting and saving a lot, which is the only reason why I'm probably still afloat now, is because I'm doing this. I'm good at budgeting my money, and, uh, I've been eating healthier, I've been, which is not cheap, sadly, so those two things haven't really been correlating right now. So ridiculous. Um, but then I also have been reading more this year, and I didn't even make a New Year's resolution last year, but I've been like, significantly better. I blame Shelby. She's maybe a better person. Darn her. I
Tana:know. Do you think that the theme, like it's better to have as simple a theme as possible or as broad a theme as possible? And let me give you an example. Like, year of reading feels pretty specific. Like, I'm going to read more. But that's also pretty broad. I mean, it is in terms of what you're reading. Yes. But it's specific, like, this activity. Whereas year of health could be very broad. It could refer to exercising more. It could refer to your sleep. It could refer to sleep. It could refer to eating better. It could refer to a whole bunch of things. And I'm just wondering if psychologically It's, is it better to have the broad thing and so then you're always like, you're like, I'm always going to be making the healthy choice. I'm just always going to try to make the healthy choice. Or is it better to have like one thing to concentrate on?
Malcolm:I think it depends on the person. That's probably true. Um, for me, I think it's just the, I think it's just simpleness or, I don't know, something, something easy to complete. Something I don't have to do every day, or I don't have to necessarily strive for. It could just be something really simple, like if if it was Even if it was something as specific as you're of like eating healthy then I wouldn't limit it to like, every time I go to the grocery store, I have to get a healthy snack. Oh, sure. Because what if, what if that week that I go to the store, none of the healthy snacks you usually get sound good to me? Right. Especially since you don't always have to eat healthy to be healthy. Like, you, you are able to eat other things besides Healthy stuff
and
Tana:remain healthy. It's not like you can never, ever, ever have a piece of chocolate again or whatever. Yeah.
Malcolm:Yeah. Especially so many people that like work out and stuff usually say that you don't really have to worry about calories and stuff to lose weight because I mean, you don't really, because all calories do is give you more fat. Um. But if you start losing the calories, then I think your body just kind of becomes more rubbery and less solid. So the fat's going away, but you're not really losing weight. If that
Tana:makes sense. Nope. That sense. I'm not following what you're saying because calories can turn into fat, but not necessarily. I might be thinking
Malcolm:of a different. thing then, besides calories. I don't know. Um, I'm also not a health guru, so I could also just be talking straight out of my ass for all I know.
Tana:Um,
Malcolm:I was just trying to make an example. So if my example isn't accurate, then I'm sorry.
Tana:Yeah. Yeah. Um, no, I don't even remember like what you said, but, uh, yeah, I, I keep debating because I've tried all kinds of different things to get healthier because I am unhealthy right now. Like, this isn't just a vanity thing where I'm like, oh, I don't like the way I look. Um, it's a, it's a, I don't like the way I feel. Um, you know, like I just, I'm more lethargic. Um, I don't like, you know, I have, I've got a belly now, um, which I didn't always have. And like that makes it more difficult to like bend over in different ways. Like, cause my belly's in the way, you know? And like, it's just annoying. I hate it. And so like, that's the kind of thing why I, kind of why I was asking the question about like the year of health, because I really feel like starting with sleep is the way. that I need to go, but I also, there's also a part of me that wants to have some sort of like goal in mind or like some kind of thing that's reminding me like you should be eating more healthy or something, I don't know.
Malcolm:Well I think year of health allows that still though because if you discover that this sleep isn't what's helping you then you can always switch it up without Messing up your resolution. That's true. So if you decide that sleep isn't the way to go, cause you can always have sub categories to your New Year's resolution. Well and
Tana:I think the thing is that, um, if one thing isn't going well, I could still be focusing on health in another area or something, you know, um, but,
Malcolm:yeah. Maybe you even discover there's a step for sleep.
Tana:Right. Yeah. Yeah. Or maybe I theme each month then.
Malcolm:I think that's actually what
Tana:CPG Gray says. Yeah. Oh,
Malcolm:uh, I think he said that, that you could even do. bi monthly and stuff. Not bi monthly, but each month.
Tana:Right. Yeah. That would actually really work for me if I thought, cause if I could make a plan, I think that's the other thing is I need a plan. Otherwise I get through a whole day and I go, Oh man, I didn't exercise at all today. Um, because I didn't like. Plan it out, you know? Oh my gosh,
Malcolm:Shelby plans each hour of the day.
Tana:I couldn't. That is so opposite of you. It is. But, but I think You know, maybe if it's like, okay, you know what? I'm going to get my rest in order in January. That is going to be like, January is the sleep month. And then February is the, um, health, uh, healthy eating month, or like, you know, maybe even more specific than that. It's. Uh, not eating a bunch of sweets in the evening or something, you know, like, I think I could, if I could set out like a plan for myself and then I'll follow that plan. It's just every time I go to sit down and plan stuff, my brain is like, no. It's weird because I thrive with plans. And you know, your, your, your dad will say this to me all the time. He's like, I don't understand why you don't make yourself a schedule.
Malcolm:Shelby plans to plan. She plans to plan. Like every Sunday at a certain time she's supposed to plan out the next week.
Tana:But I do, I sometimes do that too, but then I sit down and my brain is still like, but I don't know what to put where. Well
Malcolm:then you just start out with something really simple then. You could even just simply start with like, this is what time I wake up each day. So I'm just gonna put that in. Oh, that's true. And then you could do just like Making breakfast or taking a shower or or even just like combining it into morning routine
Tana:You know what? I think one of the reasons why I resist the scheduling is is One for a period of time I was very And then, if they got messed up, I got very upset, and your dad is unscheduled a lot of the time. And so, like, he'd be like, do you want to do this? And I'm like, no, I planned on, uh, Defragmenting my computer tonight, like, you know, or whatever, like, it was, it was like, no, I, I already have plans for this evening and he was like, but what are your plans? Like cleaning out the closet? Like, you know, and I couldn't separate myself from that. And so I'd get mad, like that he was like interrupting my plans. I'm
Malcolm:like kind of in a flowy state, but it's within like a day or so. So like, if you don't tell me something, I can't do it right there. And then, cause I was already planning on doing nothing. Right. So you can't interrupt my plans of doing nothing. I've
Tana:never planned to do nothing, I have to say. I don't
Malcolm:plan to do nothing. It's just if nothing is happening that day, and then someone asks me to do something, I can't just suddenly on a whim go do that thing because it's interrupting my nothingness.
Tana:Okay. Nihilism for the win. Yes. But yeah, so I resist, and then, and then on top of that, I look at my schedule, and I look at all the things I want to put in the schedule, and when I go to actually make the schedule, I realize there's not enough time. And so it's like, if I don't schedule, then I'm not facing that reality. You know what I mean? It's like, oh, I can fit it in somewhere, you know? I think,
Malcolm:the way that I would, I used to, when I tried my hardest to actually schedule out my weeks and stuff, I would schedule free time. I wouldn't schedule stuff to do in my free time. I would just schedule time to do things that I wanted to do. Yeah. So it would just be this time to this time is free time is me time
Tana:is. The weird thing is though, is unless I have something planned, I will not, I never think to do the fun, creative things during that time. If I don't have anything planned. Then I'm just like, oh, I should clean something, or I'll just watch TV, or like, it's
Malcolm:weird. Then write down, write down the things that you've, that you want to do, and then when you are, when you have a break, you're just, you look at that list, and then you do one of the
Tana:things. You know what I need to do? What I need to do is go, oh, from this time to this time, I'm going to paint, and then I'll, uh, I'll get to that, and I'll go. No, I don't want to do that scheduled thing and then I'll write instead. Or like, you know what I mean? Like my brain is like, Nope, we're not going to do the scheduled thing at the scheduled time. And
Malcolm:sorry, I thought your, I saw the pen and I saw it said smile, but when I looked at it at first I thought it said smell and I was very confused.
Tana:That doesn't smell anything like anything. It says dream, love, laugh, hope. And then smile on it, which I kind of don't like because that's Smile? That's not, you'd be so much prettier if you smiled, you know, uh, yeah. Uh, anyway, okay, so, so do you, are you going to do Year of Reading?
Malcolm:Um, I'm going to do Year of Being Me.
Tana:Oh, that's an interesting, what does that mean?
Malcolm:I'll do what I want to do and don't do what I don't
Tana:want to do. How is that different from any other year?
Malcolm:Actually, it kind of is because there are definitely times where I feel like I'm, I'm roped into things. Uh, especially when I was in school. And so I think now I'm going to try to stay. I just, like, stop myself from not doing things, if that makes sense.
Tana:I would say
Malcolm:Cause there's, there's a lot of times where I want to go hang out with my friends or something, but I just don't ask them. Oh. Really? So, I've, my goal is to hopefully just ask them.
Tana:Oh. Okay. To do things. Alright. That's cool. Yeah, my only caveat would be, don't take it to the extreme of Well, I don't like cleaning. I don't like cooking. I don't like, you know, I'm not going to do that. Like that kind of thing.
Malcolm:No, it was, um, it's just a, uh, I love D& D. I continue doing D& D every week. That's one thing is like, I felt like my schedule was starting to get too busy for me to have two D& Ds every week. And then I was like, but I really want to keep playing in this group. Yeah. And I was like, Okay, I don't really care if I'm busy anymore, I'm just gonna do it because, like, why wouldn't I want to go play D& D with my friends just because I'm a little busy?
Tana:Right. And Yeah, that's a hard one for me to keep in mind too, because when I feel busy I wanna just cut out the social stuff. No,
Malcolm:I, I would, if anything, I would rather cut out the job. So, I
Tana:mean, fair, but, um, bills. Yeah.
Malcolm:So my, my point is, is to, if I'm going to cut out anything, it's going to be the negative things. And if I'm going to add stuff onto my plate, then it's going to be the things I actually want to do.
Tana:Yeah. Yeah, and I, I'm kind of glad you said that because, um, this, I don't think this will go into my yearly theme, but one thing I do want to start doing is, uh, Planning more social things, because I've realized I've become a lot, much, much of a hermit. And then, um, I mean, I do have a couple of regularly scheduled, uh, like game night and then Sunday lunch. Um, but it's, it's with a very small group of people and I, I'm not really branching out, meeting new people, doing different things. I feel like I want to, and I don't know if it's just because I'm accustomed. Like. We've had such a large community for such a long period of time, and I guess a lot of that was built in because your dad was a pastor. Yeah. And, and it's, I think I'm having a sad realization that, you know, now that he's no longer doing that, um, We've lost, like, the big community of people because, you know, it was mostly because we were gathering at church and you would hang out as part of the church community. And it's sad to me that, like, a lot of those people aren't coming around anymore because I was like, well, I thought we were friends. But I am I guess
Malcolm:not perfectly happy with my small band of merry men Only one of them is actually like Mary though Well, and you'll be playing with him in D& D next year. I'm aware. Ah, that's, it's year of D& D next year. Oh yes, that's definitely for sure. Cause first Thursday of next year, you're, you're starting up D& D in my
Tana:campaign. Yes. Yes. So that'll be another thing. Maybe I need to make mine the year of trying new things or something. But. But yeah, no, I would really like, it's hard. I have to tell you, it's hard. The older you get, it's harder to make friends. Cause you don't just have things built in like you do in school. And well,
Malcolm:right now I'm fine with the ones I got anyway. So,
Tana:I mean, that's good. That's great. I just, I guess I'm just used to having a wider community of friends. So like if we wanted to host the Superbowl or, um, not host the Superbowl, but host a Superbowl party. Um, or if we wanted to have any other kind of party or whatever. Like, in the past, we would have, you know, had a really full house, and I just don't know that that's the case anymore, you know? Yeah, I mean, that is
Malcolm:also what social media is for, to be
Tana:fair. I prefer people in person, but
Malcolm:I don't know. I just meant, like, finding people to meet in
Tana:person on social media. Oh, finding people. Yeah, I need to get involved in something. Like, that's the other thing, because I work remotely, and your dad works remotely. Like, we just don't meet people that we can hang out with. It's kind of crazy,
Malcolm:like, some groups I'm a part, um, uh, Yeah. I'm a part with, um, like, even though I don't do social media or something, every once in a while I'll see them or I'll see a post or notification pop up on my phone or something. And I'll just be like a group of strangers, like planning to go to Comic Con or something together. And I'm like, that is the most wholesome thing that I never think of. Yeah. It's just like, okay, who wants to come to Comic Con? I'll pay for your ticket.
Tana:Yeah. Yeah. Like,
Malcolm:yeah. And I feel like that was much more common in the past because that was really the only way to get people to like, you know, socialize with and stuff, but I think now it's become a, uh, false socialization on social
Tana:media. Yeah, social media is tricky. And I feel like I should clarify because I don't want any of my current friends to feel bad. I love my current friends. I love our great, I love our game night group. I love our Sunday lunch group. Um, they, they all make me very happy. I guess I just, I just A couple of which we've
Malcolm:known for forever
Tana:too. Oh, I know. I mean, these are very, very long term friends. And, um, and they're like the core of, of people I've known for a long time. Um, kind of always there even when other people are coming in and out, you know what I mean? Always lingering.
Malcolm:Always watching.
Tana:But yeah, I just, I guess I just miss, um Having, like, a full house, you know.
Malcolm:Never watched it.
Tana:A fuller house.
Malcolm:Never watched that either. Um, yeah, so, good luck to your New Year's resolutions.
Tana:Yeah,
Malcolm:yeah. Um, make them, make them according to you, not according to social agendas.
Tana:Yeah. Yeah, maybe try to buck the trend and, and, uh, come up, because I think the three most popular ones are like, improve mental health, um, exercise or diet more and quit smoking. Yeah, I think it's like those three, um, which are all health related, which is good. That's good. Yeah, you're healthy. Yeah. But, um, I remember I had a friend who made a new resolution to do like one new thing. Each month or something like try something completely new and she had a really adventurous year. So, you know I don't know. Let's
Malcolm:do something. A lot of people also on like beginning of the year plan to backpack Or something like that as well throughout like even a part of the year. Like it doesn't really have to encompass the whole year. If you just want to be like, I'm going to do this
Tana:thing at some point this year. Yeah. Maybe it's just a goal that you're like, you know what? In November, I want to take this trip. And so you, you find ways throughout the year to save up the money for that. Or, you know, or you learn a new language. Cause you're going somewhere that doesn't speak English or whatever you speak. So, yeah. So anyway, yeah, good luck with your New Year's resolutions, hope they, they turn out well. Or if you don't want to make one, awesome. Don't feel the pressure to do that either. Yeah,
Malcolm:no, don't. No. Just do what you want to do. Yep. Well.
Tana:Time to go.