It feels like these days, it's not enough to be who you are - you have to have a "personal brand." In this episode, we talk about what it means to pretend online and in real life, which of course leads to a little talk about Dungeons & Dragons. (Give us a break, it's role playing. It was RIGHT THERE.)
It feels like these days, it's not enough to be who you are - you have to have a "personal brand." In this episode, we talk about what it means to pretend online and in real life, which of course leads to a little talk about Dungeons & Dragons. (Give us a break, it's role playing. It was RIGHT THERE.)
What's up? Oh, not that much.
Tana:How about you? Anything exciting happen this week? Any cool things? Any exciting stuff? I'm being very descriptive here.
Malcolm:Very
Tana:broad. Yes. I, I, I did more of my taxes. Whoa.
Malcolm:I looked at my taxes and decided, nah, not right now.
Tana:Yeah. Yeah, I'm unfortunately, I was trying to get it over with, but I'm going to have to wait because some of my forms still haven't come. And I have a feeling that some of them are not going to come for a little while, despite the fact that they're legally supposed to send them by January 31st, but.
Malcolm:That's great. Yeah. Yeah. I definitely got all mine a while ago. I just am lazy.
Tana:Well, you have until, you know, mid April, so it's not like you have to do it right
Malcolm:away. It's true, and it usually takes me like, it still takes me like an hour, but I don't like spending that hour undoing taxes.
Tana:Of course. Of course. Yeah.
Malcolm:But, tomorrow, Shelby and I are going out to dinner for a nice dinner. Oh. Yeah. So that'd be nice, cause uh, we got like a 50 gift card for like, six restaurants, five of which are in the middle of Michigan, so, but one of which is also in Toledo, so.
Tana:Oh, cool. What is it?
Malcolm:The like, Longhorn Steakhouse? Oh yeah. I like Longhorn. Yeah. All the other ones were like, Michigan restaurants, and we were, we were like, I guess we know which one we're going to. Right,
Tana:yeah. Well, I'm always up for a good steak, so. It's always good to have
Malcolm:free money.
Tana:Yeah. Free meals. Yeah.
Malcolm:Would I rather possibly have gotten just a 50 bill? Maybe?
Tana:Maybe. I am very disappointed. It does force us to have a nice meal, so. Oh, yeah, that's true. And not feel guilty about it. Yeah. Uh, yeah, I'm disappointed, because. Uh, you know, as I said, I started doing my taxes and I was doing it in stages as I got things. Yeah. And on TurboTax, it has at the top, like your estimated tax liability or refund or whatever. Right. And so I put everything in except for one in terms of, well, yeah, pretty much everything. Um, except for a W 2 from that job your dad had this year that was not contracting. And, uh. And I was like, Oh, this will be, it was like, Oh, you're getting a 3, 000 refund. I was like, yeah. And I was like, this will not be a problem because this is just a W 2. So all the taxes are taken out. And whereas, you know, he's a consultant now and you have to estimate your taxes and that can go the wrong way. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So I put the W 2 in and it wiped out our refund. Completely wiped it out. I have no idea what the heck they were doing at that job, but they only took 3 percent taxes out of his, jeez, out of his, uh, his check. So, yeah. So that was, that was, I mean, the result is the same. Like, It's true. You know what I mean? Like, it's all in the wash, but like, I was so excited. It takes you off guard. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, and I was excited cause I was like, Oh, either we can like pay down some more debt or we can take care of one of these different things that we're saving money for. Like, you know
Malcolm:what I mean? I'd always rather pay more taxes than have. An actual tax return, huh?
Tana:I like that because it's like a nice surprise and a lump sum. But the other thing is like, then the government basically gets to invest that money and earn interest on it. And you, well, you know, you're not for that whole year, but I mean, I guess in most cases it would just sit in your checking account anyway. I mean, the
Malcolm:government has the most debt of any of us, so.
Tana:That's fair. Oh, I just read something about how it's going down.
Malcolm:Is Longhorn. Another like it like I it doesn't seem like it's a fancy restaurant, but is it a fancy restaurant? No, I didn't think so. No. Okay.
Tana:I don't do fancy restaurants No, like I'm not gonna get dressed up to go out to eat. I'm sorry. I'm just not but
Malcolm:They don't really do that anymore though. Like well, I mean, I imagine there are
Tana:some restaurants that it's
Malcolm:like go. Yeah, we'll do it And there probably are some, but most restaurants don't like, force you to wear a suit jacket anymore, or a dress if
Tana:you're I don't know if it's anymore, or if it's just that there are more middle of the road restaurants and not as many high end. Well, there are
Malcolm:plenty of high end restaurants that have stopped doing it, though. Oh, really? Yeah. And But yeah, it's I don't understand, like, the
Tana:The dress code to eat at a restaurant?
Malcolm:Yeah, dress code to eat.
Tana:Pay them money. Yeah, we're
Malcolm:paying you, it's like school, we're paying you and you're still forcing me to wear what, yeah, whatever. Um, but I know a lot of people will like. Also try to make themselves feel more fancy because they're going to a nice restaurant. Oh
Tana:yeah, some people like to dress up and do all that stuff. I am not one of those people. I never have been. Um, I maybe did it a little bit more when I was younger. Um, I think, but I just, I still was always like, I'd prefer to wear
Malcolm:jeans. I think social media has made that worse. Cause I feel like there's so many like pretenders on social media. Oh my gosh.
Tana:Okay. So
Malcolm:there's
Tana:this whole like, I find TikTok fascinating because I follow a bunch of comedians on there. Um, and so that's always fun. Right. Um, but when you open up the app, it's on the for you page. Right. So it just like, shows you stuff that, you know, is not the people you're following or whatever. And so I'll occasionally see like things that I'm not, you know, and The thing that amazes me is some of these like get ready with me things Have you seen those where they're like talking about something while they're like doing their makeup and stuff? Oh,
Malcolm:yeah Yeah, I mean there's all sorts of things where people will put random stuff in The background while they're talking about something or reading something or something like that
Tana:well, the makeup tutorial ones crack me up because like Um, some of them, I actually like what they're talking about. And so the fact that they're putting on makeup, I don't really care. I'm just
Malcolm:like, I feel like that's how a lot of them are. A lot of them are just filler.
Tana:Yeah. It's like to keep your interest, I guess. But somebody made a comment on one of the videos and said something about like Meredith Duxbury or something, some name like that. And I was like, okay. Like they were like making these like mocking comments and I was like, what is this? This woman, like. Pours like practically half a bottle of foundation in her hands and then just slathers it all over her face. It is so much makeup. Like I just, I can't, like, Anyway, yeah, I can't do it. But the other thing that gets me about those things is, um, contouring. Which I have, I go back and forth on this because I don't have a problem with people wearing makeup, but contouring feels like lying. It's like, no, my nose is not as big as, you know, like I'm going to make my nose not look as big as it is, you know, or like. I don't know. It's just, I don't know
Malcolm:why I just thought of, um, Ron Swanson's skim milk. Skim milk is
Tana:water that's lying about being milk. Yeah. I, and I, I have to, I have to be careful there because I, I don't, I, there's so many different ways you could look at like plastic surgery and makeup and hair dye and like, you know, all kinds of things. But like I mean, it's not like contouring is a new thing, but I remember when I first started seeing people doing like videos on it, I was like, this feels deceptive. But anyway, yeah. So I don't know. It's just, I've, I, I very rarely wear makeup, and I just, like, like, I'm not wearing any now, and after we're done, I'm gonna go out with a friend of mine, and I'm not gonna change anything about, like, I literally just got out of the shower, and put some moisturizer on my face, and that is how I will go out, and I'm almost 48, like, I'm just I just walked outside. Well, I mean, it's easier for dudes, for dudes, for dudes, you're not really, you're not expected to wear makeup, you know? Well, yeah, she does too. Yeah. Yeah. But, um, and maybe that'll be more of a revolution. Maybe someday I will come back in vogue because it'll be like, Oh, completely natural and no makeup is the trend. And I'll be like,
Malcolm:yeah, only problem with that is that there is nothing that will. Sponsor that trend. Sure, yeah. So that trend will die fast because trends always come from companies.
Tana:Well, what it will be, what it will be is selling makeup that looks, makes it look like you're not wearing makeup. Oh gosh.
Malcolm:Just kill me now.
Tana:It'll be so You, but better.
Malcolm:I feel like it'll be obvious. Um,
Tana:I think there are ways that people, I've actually seen people do like natural quote unquote natural makeup and it basically just almost looks like an airbrushed version of them, you know what I mean? But that still
Malcolm:looks fake.
Tana:Um, it depends on the person. There, there are a lot of people where I'm like, I just look at them and I'm like, I can see all of your makeup. Like, I don't know that they care. Um, I don't know. It's just a strange, it's just, it's such a weird thing to me. I've never quite understood all the effort people do in the morning to get ready because I am too lazy to do it. I get it. I'll
Malcolm:watch like a show or something where it's kind of like following a woman character or something getting up in the morning and it's just like, it's like whatever the intro to the show is and they're just like following her as the credits are. Coming over the screen or something. Yeah, and it's like just and they're like they're like cutting it They're like cutting it. Yeah, it's not like taking forever So many
Tana:steps. Yeah, and I'm like, what are you doing? I just I don't have the patience for it.
Malcolm:I'm like I I'm too hungry in the morning. I just go and eat
Tana:breakfast. Well, amen, brother. I'm like, how can I get ready as quick as possible so I can get downstairs and eat some food? But yeah, I it's I've I've watched the you know, get ready with me things I've heard about people's different routines and I just I don't I feel like I have way Better things I'd prefer to do with my time Yeah. You know, um, so, and I don't know, maybe if I had a more public facing job, maybe I would feel differently.
Malcolm:Well, I think that's always the difference, and I feel really bad for social, I think some people on social media have dug themselves a hole, because I think some people on social media started out their social media career with Just pretending to be someone else just for the sake of pretending to be someone else. I think for some people it might even be like just a depression thing or an escape thing. And so they do that, which I think starts a lot in school. And it's I think some dig a hole because then that's all they feel like they can do on social media And they don't feel like they can post anything about like their real life on social
Tana:media Well part of the problem is that we don't want to see it. I Mean as a culture like we we not as popular. We generally like to see polished things and we don't like it. Our polished brains like
Malcolm:polished
Tana:things. Yes, my brain is so smooth. Um, I, I mean, really we don't, uh, it's, it's kind of like the, um, they, they used to call it the Facebook effect. Have you heard of that? No. And it was like. You know, your life is this good, but because you're, uh, nobody can tell me where to see where I'm holding my hand, but you're, you're, yes, your, your life is at a, a, a six, let's say out of 10, right? But then your friends post only the eight, nine, and 10 moments of their lives. I know what you're talking about. Yeah. And so then you think. My life sucks, and everybody else's life is wonderful. But it's
Malcolm:just because they're posting the positive things. Yeah, they're
Tana:only posting the positives. Which, honestly,
Malcolm:is for once a good thing. Because I feel like nine times out of ten, a lot of people post, or a lot of people talk about only the negative things in their lives. That's true. But when it comes to social media, it's actually surprisingly the opposite. Unless something really bad happens, and then people are like, Oh my God, guys, listen to this. Oh, right, yeah. Um. And that's where Am I the Asshole has come from. Oh yeah.
Tana:Yeah. And I, so I think, you know, not just like social media influencers, but we all, if we're active on social media in any way, kind of put on a persona when we're on there. Yeah. I mean, Maybe not all, all the time, but it definitely, at first, it was that way for Facebook, for sure.
Malcolm:I'm trying to think because, you know, I've done podcasts, YouTube streaming. I don't feel like I'm very different. I think the only thing is I usually force myself to talk more, which is automatically a personality difference, but that's because that's like literally the job.
Tana:Right.
Malcolm:Yeah. Uh, and I think somewhat as well, I think there's just some things for me where it's, it's like, I try to make my voice sound more clear and I try to, like, stay on topic and that's just not necessarily me as a person because I have ADHD So, uh, yeah, there are definitely times I've had to edit in my video game podcast entire segments out because I'm, like, trying to keep myself on task and so I keep, like, blanking out for five minutes and then getting back onto the topic at hand.
Tana:Yeah, you know. So it's interesting because what you're bringing up is actually something, uh, why I struggle with the idea of like a personal brand. Like even if you're not like a social media influencer, there are all these people that recommend you have a personal brand for your career life because Like, it's not enough to just be, it feels like, it's not enough to just be good at your job anymore. You also have to have a platform, um, well, not even. You have to, you have to seem like a desirable person, like, oh man, I've been reading so much bad advice. I, I got. When I was unemployed, I reacted with a lot of posts on LinkedIn about job seeking. And so now that's like my whole feed because like it was so long that I was doing that. So I still
Malcolm:interact. I told LinkedIn to stop giving me notifications and it's still giving me notifications.
Tana:Well, go track it down and beat it up. But yeah, it's. There's so much advice on there where people are like, you need to do all this networking and You should be putting out thought leadership articles and blah blah blah And I'm like that's so exhausting like if that's not your job If it's like not an inherent part of your job, it shouldn't have to be. Yeah, you know what I mean?
Malcolm:That's Yeah, I feel like so many jobs, because, I mean, obviously you'd want to do a background check where you look up, like, to make sure someone hasn't been posting weird crap on social media before you hire them. Right. Or, um, actually it is, it really is mostly social media at this point. I don't understand how people will put their entire lives and opinions and everything on social media knowing that, Uh, somebody can look it up. Yeah. It's like, you do realize you're telling everyone this, right? Right. Do you know how many, like, high life careers have plummeted within two days because someone posted the wrong thing on social media? Oh
Tana:my God. There was, there was one where a woman, um, wrote something on social media. She was, uh, I think she was traveling to Africa and she wrote a tweet before getting on the plane and then shut off her phone and It blew up, and while she was in the plane, on the plane, I think, like, her company announced that they were gonna fire her, and like, like, it was just, you know, and then there was like a hashtag, like, when will Justine land, or something like that, like, people were waiting for her to land, and so, See, like the shit storm that her, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I think she actually, a few years later did like an interview about like the lessons I learned from, you know, social media kind of thing. Um, but when it was in its early stages, not everybody was thinking about that kind of stuff. Right. And so there's all kinds of stuff people can dig up and I'm just like, I don't think I've ever said anything terrible. I may have posted something embarrassing, but, um, I'm like, okay, should I go back through and check everything? Because also my views have changed over the years. Yeah. And so it's very possible I said something offensive. Yeah. I don't
Malcolm:think it's fair to find old stuff. Yeah. I don't think so either. It has to be recent
Tana:stuff. Exactly. I hear when people are like, Oh, he dug up a tweet from 2010 where he said blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, okay, that was 2010. Does he think differently now? Yeah. Like what if he
Malcolm:was taught his lesson?
Tana:Right. Yeah. Like people change. And that's the thing I hate about those reactions is that like, it gives people no incentive to change. If you're, if you're just going to
Malcolm:get That's why I have really mixed feelings about cancel culture. Oh yeah, me too. Me too. I totally think that if someone did something horrible, their career should be in the gutter. Right. For, at least for certain things. Right. I mean, if, they're not, I don't see why someone should get fired from working in like a factory because they're, like, I understand they're racist, but it feels weird when they're not in public at all and they're working at a factory to be fired from the factory.
Tana:I don't know how I feel about that one. I'd have to think about it.
Malcolm:I don't know how I feel about that one either, honestly, now that I'm, like, talking about it. Now that you're saying it? Because it's like, it's not a public facing
Tana:position. We just didn't used to know. Yeah. You know, like, people wouldn't, the other side of this is that people wouldn't post that stuff. Well, first of all, for a while there was nowhere to post that stuff. But then, like, for a while we all had a collective knowledge, like, that you just don't. Advertise that you're a racist, like, like this is like not a smart thing to do.
Malcolm:We're talking about why we don't understand why people pretend to be other people, but we do understand why racists pretend to be other people on social media. Oh yeah, for sure, yeah. Um, which continue to, or just change your views, you know.
Tana:Man. Yeah.
Malcolm:Hey, the more that you pretend to be a non racist, the more likely you'll end up becoming a non racist.
Tana:Fake it till you make it? Fake it till you make it. I actually wonder in some ways if that would work.
Malcolm:I think psychologically it does. To a certain extent. Maybe not like completely flip your views. Right. But I think to a certain extent you just like, stop becoming as
Tana:Hmm. Interesting. Yeah.
Malcolm:Yeah, because there's a lot of stuff like that where fake it till you make it's actually like a proven study.
Tana:Oh, yeah, I I've done I've done that I've done like I really don't want to do this, but I'm gonna do it and then I'm like, okay You know, I don't mind this anymore Well,
Malcolm:I don't know if fake it till you make it is the right thing it was It was just a hobby.
Tana:But see, podcasting is actually a really good example because as far as I know, we started doing this because we thought it would be fun and we're like, and if anybody listens, yay. Um, unless you were like, I'm planning on us having a multimedia conglomerate from this podcast. Is that what you were thinking? Obviously. Okay. Um, and you know, and I just, I enjoy doing this and it's fun and to a certain extent I'm like, that's cool. That's good. Let's just, you know, be fine with that. But then there are other times when I'm like, you know. Um, I faced age discrimination when I was looking for a job and if I'm on the job market again, I'm probably going to have an even more difficult time just the older and older I get. And so is there something I could parlay into a money making thing? And then I start to think about the podcast and then I'm like, okay, well what if we did this? And what if we did that? And then I'm just like, uh, but that's not who we are. And that's like, that's the struggle. Cause. There are certain things, if you're lucky just being you is like, people like it and they follow you and that's great. But in a lot of circumstances, people chase the content, you know, like what is the, what is the trending thing and how do I have to change in order to keep people engaged? And that just sounds exhausting to me. It's like, I don't even want. To do my hair or makeup in the morning. Like what is, yeah, that's why
Malcolm:that's at least for these podcasts, I like to just talk about what's interesting to me. Mm-Hmm. Mm-Hmm And if other people follow suit with that, then cool. Because like I never really tried to make,'cause for a while I did my YouTube channel and my stream and mm-Hmm. it was mostly my stream.'cause editing video sucks, but. Where I just hunted achievements in video games. And that's like a very small, not very small, but it is. It's a fairly small population of.
Tana:Yeah, it's of gamers. Not like the majority of
Malcolm:gamers. Because a lot of like, uh, achievement. Tutorials or something our art do get a lot of viewers because it's the achievement tutorial So if someone just like even who isn't an achievement hunter just wants to look up how to get it Right, then a view pops up but streaming it where you have to actively get people interested in whatever game it is You're playing. Yeah, and you're achieving so but I've never tried to like Be like, oh, what's the, what's the new game right now? So that way I can like, play that game. Right! Especially since a lot of the new, like, Especially around that time, a lot of the new popular games were like, Fortnite and Warzone, which I, which I, At least, Fortnite at the time was a terrible game. I think it's gotten a lot better. And also a lot worse at the same time whole another thing anyways and warzone came out Which what which I also thought was absolutely terrible. So it was just like no way I was even going to play those Yeah, those games but those were the like the popular things But I would just I would never try and like sacrifice what I actually want to do just get
Tana:Yeah viewers and you know, it's funny because I look back On, you know, it's, I unfortunately play the what if game way too often and then I end up feeling regretful about stuff. It's a good comic series. Um, yeah, I actually think about like parallel universes where I made this decision and so it created a different
Malcolm:reality. That just creates unneeded levels of stress about something you can't change.
Tana:Oh, I know, I'm well aware. But like, I, part of my problem, part of my problem is that I left, I started in a certain career path. So, yeah. And then I left that career path to go to grad school and that just interrupted the whole thing. Yeah. You know, and then I tried like kind of a slightly different career, but I was kind of like meh about it. And then I was like, well, and then we needed money. Like I would just, yeah. Anyway. Um, so I was like, well, I can go back to doing what I did before cause I have experience. I can probably find a job. And then that happened. Right. Like, so, but you know, I was looking at that, the people that I was working with around my, like my early years in nonprofit work. Um, you know, there were people who were at positions lower than mine and stuff like that, that they're now in these, like either, uh, senior management or director levels in larger organizations or their executive directors of their own small organizations or whatever. And I was moving into, uh, like a management position. You know what I mean? Like, it was just like, they've gotten so far. And, uh, And I didn't because I didn't like properly play the game. Yeah. You know what I mean? And so I guess that's kind of a different thing. Then extroverted world. It definitely is an extroverted world. And that's part of the problem. Um, in my opinion, anyway, uh, and, and part of that is a different thing. I mean, I took, I, I switched careers midlife, like, so that was, well, hopefully not midlife cause I mean I would die soon, but, um, I switched careers and that causes, like, you have to start over and you know what I mean? Yeah. Um, but I've also just observed people and how they've built things over the years and I watch what they have to do to do it and I'm like, I don't want to do that. You know what I mean? Like, just the, the networking and the, and the glad handing and it's just all so exhausting. Yeah.
Malcolm:Yeah. That's why. I've definitely taken to heart the, just like, step out of time type thing, where I might be behind other people that are able to take so many steps at once, but as long as I keep taking the steps, I'll still reach the same point, hopefully, there's always a chance that you don't, but hopefully I'll still reach the same point, it just might take me longer, and that's fine with me, I mean, I got A lot of years left, like, dear God, I hope so. Yeah, me too. Uh, and I, it's fine with me if I'm spending it on something that I like doing, even though I'm not making a lot of money off of it. Yeah. Yeah. I think a lot of people aren't very comfortable with the idea of like working a part time to full time job that they don't like fully like to do something that they really like to do. Or that they feel like their only option is to do the job they don't really like to do because they can't right now do the job they really want to do. Yeah. And I kind of understand that because it's easy to kind of just give up on the idea of what you really want to do because it feels out of reach. But you really just gotta keep trying to make, hey, fake it till you make it. Right. Keep trying to make progress. Because if you try to do it all at once, then it always leads to burnout.
Tana:Yeah. And that's, um, that's something I keep trying to keep in mind. I've been wanting to write a book for two decades, you know, and it's just always like, Oh, I always feel like it's been too long and I just need to be able to like write it quickly, right? Whereas if I would have written a book 15 minutes a day, if I would have taken 15 minutes a day over the last 20 years, I could have written multiple books. You know what I mean? Like, yeah It's it's a weird thing where you feel like, you know You have to have a big chunk of time to give to something or you have to you know Or you want it to happen right away, you know
Malcolm:who has made a career out of faking it till you make it? No.
Tana:All actors. Okay, yeah. It's true. It is. Um. They're all faking.
Malcolm:I think that's, that's definitely the other. The other side of that is, uh, acting, role playing for D& D for us, or, uh, playing a video game even. Sometimes watching stuff or reading a book, I feel like it's harder to put yourself in someone else's shoes when you're reading a book or watching a movie or something. Obviously, if you're role playing, then you, you are the person's shoes, so You are the person's shoes? You are the shoes!
Tana:Wow, that's some intense role playing! So as opposed to like, yeah, all the different things about, uh, faking who you are for either good or bad purposes in life. You're faking it for entertainment. Yeah. You're talking about like for entertainment. I have to admit that I've been, I've had trouble with the role playing for D and D. Um, and it's weird because I used to do theater. You know, I used to do all this stuff. And then when theater wasn't like, when I wasn't in school anymore. And so theater wasn't like just super easy, like right there. I mean, I suppose I could have done community theater, but, um, I did like. Skits at my church, like I did, I wrote, I wrote them, I performed in them. I, you know what I mean? Yeah. And when skits were more of like a thing and then we did videos and then like, you know what I mean? Like I, I did that for a long time. But I think, I honestly think that part of the reason I have trouble with it is because I'm still so new to the game. There's still so much I don't understand. That's what I was about to say, that it's hard for me to stay in character. Yeah.
Malcolm:You, because there's a lot more things you gotta pay attention to. Yeah. And. I think dad's on the other, on the, like is flipped on that because I think, oh my God, he is totally in character. I think he focuses so much on being in character and stuff and he'll be like, okay, what do I do He'll look down at his character sheet true. And be like, what do I do? That's true. Well, and instead I love
Tana:that. But yeah, and I think to a certain extent too, I mean, you know, you, you helped me like, oh, like work on your backstory and what's all the, you know what I mean? The backstory's, the key, um. And I, I honestly forget it the whole, forget my backstory the whole time. That's why I tell you to,
Malcolm:you should reread it
Tana:before you play. But I'm so like, cause I don't know. It's really interesting. So we had that moment two sessions ago where your dad in character was being very argumentative about whether or not we should go I guess it was three sessions ago. Uh, it was, he was, no, it was two sessions ago, but he was talking about something we did in the previous session where he was like, you just went along with this. And why didn't we discuss this more? Why didn't we question it? And, um, and, and he was saying this in character, right? And so then there was like a character discussion that was, you know, like people in character arguing for different things. Right. And I, Later on, your dad was like, I think people were just like, Oh, this is how the game's supposed to go. And so we just do this. And I was like, thinking about it. And I was like, that is absolutely what I did. I was like, Oh, this must be, this must be the main quest. Yeah, this must be the thing we're supposed to do. And so we should do it. Yeah. And that's a game thought to me, not a character thought.
Malcolm:Yeah, I think, I think it's hard for a lot of people to be like, it's Okay, I was gonna say to trust the Dungeon Master. I think a lot of people trust me, but people don't think about it that I will correct the game if you don't follow what is the quote unquote main quest. Yeah,
Tana:I'm afraid we're going to miss it and mess it up. And you've told me this multiple times. You're like, if you miss something that I will just have like a storm come and make you force you into this, or like you hit a wall. I don't, you know,
Malcolm:railroad you that much, but, but yeah, you're like,
Tana:basically I will force you into the situation, you know, or
Malcolm:I'll just change this. I'll just adapt to the situation too. Cause I mean, there's, there's always events at play that are happening, whether you're there or not. So it's, it's always a choice of which event you're at. If you're just off doing your own thing, then the world's going to continue going. And, uh, so I feel like even for the most part, unless something's really important. I won't just throw stuff in front of you because you guys aren't going the way you were supposed to go. I'll just let you guys go that way and be like, I wonder what the, what they're going to hit.
Tana:Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And that's, that's been the first few sessions for me. That's what's been difficult because my, what I'm doing instead, because coming from board games, um, Is I'm looking for, I'm analyzing, and I'm looking for the thing that we're supposed to do to win the game. You know what I mean? Like, it's, yeah.
Malcolm:I think some of you got what you would assume to be, like, the main, like the end goal of the game. Mmm. And, but I love it because, I'm especially loving Tempor. Because I think a lot of people have, have an idea, have a very similar idea of what the end goal for the game is. And Tempor's idea for what the end game is is completely different than everyone else's. Oh, interesting. Because of their roleplaying, which I love. I love that. And I hope they keep that up because I, I think it's Brilliant. And I love them for it. So
Tana:I need to, I need to talk with you sometime out of game about like, because I'm so unfamiliar with the game. I'm like, okay, so how much of my personal backstory plays into the decisions I make and the statements I make. And, and I realized this last time, I'm like, I haven't, I haven't really set forth much of a personality outside of the fact that I will sing my own praises and my songs and ignore what everybody else did and then take their credit. And that you're a little
Malcolm:clumsy. And I'm a
Tana:little clumsy. Yeah.
Malcolm:I think that can be your personality. You just got to role play it more in the session instead of writing the songs between sessions. Cause for anyone who doesn't know, Our bard here, Incendia Cantore, uh, she
Tana:will,
Malcolm:uh, write, uh, songs between the sessions about the, about the previous session and use it as instead of, cause I usually do the recap before our D& D sessions, but instead what we've been doing for, for this. Uh, this dungeon gr this uh, or this campaign, which I've absolutely loved, is that she does these songs that is basically the recap, but she takes all of the credit for everything good that happens and doesn't mention any mistakes that she made. Yeah, yeah. Or, uh, or. Or blames people if they did do something wrong. Like it's, it's, and I love it so much. Yeah. If
Tana:anything was accomplished in the previous session, I did it all. Um, which has been fun. That's been fun.
Malcolm:But it's also my job as, as a DM to present opportunities for people to, uh, give character growth. And stuff like that. And I totally did not mean to, but I just lobbed it for, for Hulk. Oh yeah? In the last campaign. Oh. Or in the last session. Because Tempor, you guys all escaped this windmill that was, that had a coven of nighthags in it. Nighthags! And your resident evil warlock realized what these were. And was, like, getting everyone to come out because
Tana:these things were tough he didn't want to leave because of the tasty, psychedelic pastries. But they still left. He
Malcolm:was still the first one out. That's true, that's true. And, but Tempore got stuck inside. Yes. Because
Tana:he He would not leave his glaive behind.
Malcolm:Yes, he, he rolled a, he rolled a nat one, so, when attacking someone. So I, I made it so that way he got his glaive stuck. in the banister of the staircase and then one of the Nighthawks just, like, closed the door and everyone was outside except for Tempore inside. And so everyone just saw Tempore just disappear behind the door. And, uh, Hulk, who is this scared of everything goblin. This, this was one of my favorite moments during that session. was just like, fuck it. Yeah, I'm gonna get him! Yeah, and he, he literally casted heroism on himself, which is hilarious to me. Yes, yes, and charged in past the night hags and grabbed Tempor and pulled him out with his glaive successfully. Yes. And that was, I totally accidentally set that up for, for Hulk. Yeah. And it was the most perfect thing, and it was one of the best character developments of the campaign
Tana:so far. It was, it was awesome. The, the, and the fight was actually another indication of me not understanding the game. I need to just watch like a video about it or something, but, um, because, I have the worst armor of anybody. I just have, I just have leather armor. And it cracks me up because every time somebody re rolls something to hit, and you're like, is that a hit? And I'm like, yes. And everybody's like, YES! Because it's
Malcolm:so
Tana:low, it's so bad. And so I'm just sitting there, uh, and I'm just like Plugging away trying to hit these hags. And of course I'm missing like every freaking time. I had the worst dice throws And then finally You wanna
Malcolm:know a little bit of information? Maybe? You guys are all level four, right? Yeah, and a night hag's challenge rating is five. Oh. Which means That that creature alone, one Nighthag, can defeat an entire party of level 5 characters. Oh!
Tana:Okay, so that must have been what Abrus was talking about. Yeah. Okay. And so there were three
Malcolm:of them.
Tana:See, now I had no, I was just like, oh, this is the part of the game where we fight, so I'm going to keep fighting.
Malcolm:Everyone else was leaving. Everyone else
Tana:was leaving. And your dad was like, why don't you leave? And I was like, I can do that?
Malcolm:It was not only that, but. But he was, he was like, Temporis, stay behind to keep you alive right now.
Tana:Well, that was what made me
Malcolm:finally go, Oh. Yeah, and then leave. But then Temporis was going to take one last swing and then leave, and then got their glaive stuck and was like, I'm not leaving my glaive. And then everything else
Tana:happened. Yeah, but I just like, it was so funny because the whole table was basically like, why aren't you leaving? And I was like, I didn't know that was an option. Like, I just thought I had to stand here and fight.
Malcolm:Yeah, it's uh, yeah, no, it's, it's definitely something where you can flee, you can stick your ground and fight, even if you know your character is gonna die, you can still stand your ground and fight if you, if you really want to. I think one of the cheesiest answers, but still one of the most true answers for D& D when people ask like, what D& D is about, is that you can just do literally anything.
Tana:I, I, and my brain will just not accept that. Because I, every time I'm analyzing situation and thinking about what I can do. I'm like, am I allowed to do that? Can I do that? Can I, you know, and I don't know why, like, you keep telling me this, you keep telling me like you do whatever, you know, but I also don't know all the things I can do. You know what I mean? Like I didn't realize for a while that I could break away from it. Well, I had more weapons on hand than I thought I did. Like, oh yeah, you know what I mean? Like, I just don't understand how that's why I was thinking, like maybe just watching like a little tutorial on like how to understand your game sheet or something, because I feel like you will tell me certain things you think I need to know, but you might, because you know it too well, you're not going to be in the mindset of like, oh, I need to do this like a really basic tutorial, you know? Yeah. So anyway, it's.
Malcolm:It's interesting because I feel like for D& D and video games, for some reason for a while it was a big thing that like if you are role playing as these characters, especially the dungeon master role playing As these evil characters that your like children are gonna turn evil or if they play video games where they shoot at people Then all of a sudden your kid's gonna go shoot guns and stuff at people and
Tana:it's You know what I find funny about that argument? What? If that was true We would have a way worse gun problem and school shooting problem than we do now.
Malcolm:Yeah, because everyone plays Call of Duty in high school.
Tana:It's not like there's like, like a handful of people playing these games across the country. Like, there would just be nothing left. We would, it would be Armageddon. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,
Malcolm:I don't. Especially, that's the same argument with like, uh, a lot of people's arguments with like racism or, uh, like homophobia or transphobia or something like that, is that they're evil and stuff. And it's like, do you realize how many people there are that are, one, black? And also, like, part of the LGBT community, and it's like if, if all of your opinions and thoughts and stereotype Oh,
Tana:I see. You're saying that they say that, like, trans people are bad. Yeah. Okay, I was not understanding what you were Yeah,
Malcolm:because there's like, one recent shooting was made by I believe it was made by a trans person. Oh, yeah, there was, yeah. Yeah, and then people were like, see? And it's like, do you understand how many trans people there are in the world? I mean,
Tana:A, and also B, okay, this person was trans. How about all the straight white dudes that did all the other shootings? Yeah, exactly. Like, to them, you're not, oh god, it's,
Malcolm:but, uh, yeah. But yeah, the whole, the whole fake it till you make it, like, people aren't doing that. For D& D or for video games like they aren't You might get you might put yourself in the person's shoes, but it's all Fantasy and you know, it's fantasy.
Tana:I can't I can't fake my way to being a fire ganassi. No, you can't
Malcolm:And people are trying to fake it so they make it for a job it's cuz they actually want to be that right yes Yes. Yes So if you if you want to be a spell caster an evil Just Warlock, Spellcaster, then, then I guess you can try to fake it till you make it in D& D, but
Tana:Well, I was thinking you meant real life. Oh, oh. I mean, that could be your new career choice, ladies and gentlemen.
Malcolm:Evil,
Tana:Spellcaster, Warlock. Yeah, just fake it till you make it. But yeah. Oh, man. Well, that covered a lot on pretending
Malcolm:to be things you're not.
Tana:Yes. Yes. Including having a small noose. Sorry, I can't let that go. That was rude. Well, honestly, like, if anybody would want to use Contouring, to have a smaller nose, it's me. So, like, I'm like, but I'm like, Nah, it's too much work. My bulbous nose will have to do. Anyway, yeah, so what you see is what you get.
Malcolm:Fine with me. Okay, cool. Yeah. Well, well, I was probably really loud in the recording