Ep #6: Why Being Your Authentic Self is Hard As A Female Founder

Authenticity, Resilience, and Visibility for Female Founders

This episode addresses the multifaceted challenges women face, especially as female founders. 

The host discusses personal experiences with double standards, fear of cancel culture, and the conflict between professional and personal identities. The episode delves into a 2022 study from Oxford University Press highlighting higher standards for women in professional settings. 

Key points covered include the importance of authenticity, the role of trust, resonance, and resilience, and practical ways to protect and amplify one's voice. 

The episode concludes with actionable tips for female founders to balance their values, practice internal visibility, and build their reputations.

00:00 Introduction: Challenges Faced by Female Founders

02:00 Navigating Double Standards and Cancel Culture

03:51 Real-Life Examples and Academic Insights

11:42 Balancing Professional and Personal Identities

14:46 Building Trust, Resonance, and Resilience

19:51 Practical Tips for Authentic Visibility

26:17 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Hey there, and welcome to the Visibility for Female Founders Podcast. I'm your host, Ika Lucas, and this podcast is for you if you're an impact driven, founder, coach, or consultant who wants to find your own voice to speak, present, and amplify your message Online. 

We explore how to get past the visibility roadblocks and grow your capacity to be seen so you can attract then chase your perfect audience, while staying connected to the most important things by building a business th

You're invited to my free 3-day workshop just for coaches and consultants who want to stand out online using their unique voice than creating content.

I'll walk you through the three things to focus on for 2025 and beyond, and how to find, activate and amplify your own voice. If you’re ready to turn your voice into visibility, sign up now—it’s completely free!

Solve your inner narrative with reframes to share your story without oversharing.

head to https://www.contenthalo.com/story/

Let's connect beyond this episode.

Follow me on either Instagram, LinkedIn or Facebook.

https://www.instagram.com/radhikalucas
https://www.facebook.com/radhikalucas https://www.linkedin.com/in/radhikalucas

Or on my website: https://www.contenthalo.com

Transcript

0:28

the first thing that I will say is that the challenges faced by women are many and varied as we know already. As females we have added pressures and unique challenges that represent themselves in ways that our male counterparts just don't. And so when it comes to our own little businesses and being a female founder, what I have come to realize is. That in my everyday life, I've seen double standards take place for, publishing my voice and, as a result being canceled for that. There is also the tie and the fracturedness between the professional and the personal self. And I know that there's a lot of people who. Be here wondering, well, I've got my business and do I represent myself as my business or do I represent myself as my own voice, as a person who is building their personal brand, so to speak. And then there is also the fear of cancel culture. So as you get. More prolific in sharing your voice. As you get more prolific in putting yourself out there, you actually do open yourself up to a lot more criticism, a lot more backlash, and a lot misinterpretation as well as. You can end up feeling isolated because of the fear from some people that they, by associating with you, they may somehow be tied by the same brush or it could be also that, they fear that a lot of people I've worked with have, which is who does she think she is putting herself out there? What, what point does she really want to prove? And so there is this, quiet dialogue that goes on in our own minds as female founders. Which can really put additional pressure on why being our authentic self is hard as a, especially as a female founder. So I'm gonna really break down, the first three points, and then what I'm gonna be doing is I'm going into why. Authenticity still matters if you are a female founder, and you are wanting to put your authentic voice out there. And, then I'm gonna be giving you some practical tips on and, and ways in which you can protect your voice as well as show up authentically. And lastly, I'm gonna be covering off on some practical ways in which you can not only protect your voice, but also show up authentically, whilst inching your way forward towards, a life in the visibility fast lane as I like to call it. And so, first things first. I really feel like I need to address this point head on because. This is something that I have experienced in my professional life quite recently Where I shared something that was about giving context to a specific situation that needed to be explained in more detail, and instead of being applauded for my initiative, what ended up happening instead was that I was given personal kind of feedback, which was more intimating towards my lack of. Professional expertise despite the fact that I belong in that specific profession. And so this is the way in which these are some of the ways in which snide remarks and subtle putdowns can really get in the way of you being able to actually express your. Authentic voice in the way in which you know best how to do, given that you have been given the baton or the permission to speak or represent yourself as being a member of a profession on which you are speaking on behalf of. So I wanna really discuss the first point, which is double standards in my own, lived experience. And then I'm gonna give you some some facts about a study that was published by, the Oxford University Press on Publishing while female, which is our women held to higher standards. And there is some evidence from some peer review. It was published on the 16th of May, 2022. It is the Economic Journal and the publishers, the Oxford University Press. So I will be. Sharing a little bit of that, but before I delve into giving you a little bit of insight into what the findings are is this is real life stuff that's actually happening. And the real life stuff that's happening really is the fact that after I shared that, I was then essentially wrapped on the knuckles. Not literally, but figuratively to say that I didn't have the authority to speak about that and provide additional information from my expertise or my point of view despite belonging to the group. That has that expertise. And so therefore, by being part of that professional, group, I automatically have, the expert view coming from a personal perspective that I can offer to provide more context given that I'm already part of that professional setting. So if I take. Even that into account and the way in which that made me feel, which was actually really to rule by fear and cancel my voice. And it took me a really long time. To get over how I was treated, it really did help solidify. The reason why I do what I do is because. This is happening in real life. This is not happening behind the scenes. This is happening as I speak. And so there are double standards so the comment that I wanna make, is that in that specific instance, the feedback, the verbal feedback that I got was done in a way to actually undermine my confidence, so, you know, if you think about that and in relation to the, the study that was published that I just mentioned earlier by the Oxford University Press. This study that was published, back in 2022, and it's in the, it's in the links, in the show notes if you're interested in, in reading more about this, is that women are in, in plain words, women are held to a higher standard with everything that we do. So if, if in my situation, if it had been a male writing the same thing, it would've carried a lot more weight than. Me writing it, which clearly did not carry as much weight. And there are many different reasons for that, which I won't delve into. And it ha really does come down to visibility. It comes down to being seen as being strong. It really comes down to being seen as having a voice which could potentially threaten. And it really comes down to all of those micro. Moments of ego that need to be appeased and in order to appease, you can end up losing your authentic voice if you're not careful and if you haven't made the time to process and work through that, just like I have done in this particular instance, and it has taken a huge amount of strength and courage on my part to keep going despite. Having that backlash, and it's not easy. And so I, don't say, say this out of, a theoretical framework alone, operating from, a place where, you know, I'm just saying yes, the yes, do it. Yeah. Yes, do it. However, in doing it, you will be opening yourself up to criticism and you will be opening yourself up to backlash and you will be opening yourself up to misinterpretation. In what I just mentioned earlier, which is when you do project and want to be your authentic self, you will be pulled back to the place where someone wants you to be which is exactly where they want you to be, rather than where you want to be. And so it really does, bring to light the injustices that. Our omnipresent around us, which lead to the rationale and the reasoning behind why it's so difficult to be your authentic self because there are double standards for women. So, coming back to the study, I'm going to be reading, something out of this particular, the Economic journal,, which is, Written by Erin Hengel. And the topic is publishing while female are women held to higher standards. It is an evidence from peer review from the economic journal, volume 1 32, issue 6 48, published in November of 2022. And so if you wanna know more and read more about that, it is in the show notes below. But I'm gonna read out some parts of the conclusion here, which is that most raw numerical counts suggest that women produce less than men, female real estate agents, less, fewer homes. Female lawyers bill fewer hours. Female physicians see fewer patients. Female academics write fewer papers when evaluated by narrowly defined quality measures. However, women often outperform houses listed by female real estate agents sell for higher prices. Female lawyers make fewer ethical violations. Patients treated by female physicians are less likely to die or be readmitted to hospital. And as I argue in this paper, female economists surpass men on another dimension, which is writing. Clarity. Abstracts written by women are one to 6% more readable than similar abstracts by men, and they're also become two to 5% more readable. While under review when referees are not blinded to authors identities, however, and this is the bit that really stings, is that the cost to women of revising their papers appears to be much higher than the cost to men. Female authored papers spent three to six months longer under review compared to observably equivalent male authored papers. Finally, it does not appear that women are rewarded for their better writing. Recent evidence from a set of comparable journals suggests that female authored papers are accepted at lower rates, conditional on quality. Now, while this is set within the context of an academic setting, it, you know, it really does bring to light the fact that. Essentially women are, are judged at at a higher level for doing the same job. And so when you come back to showing up authentically it really does, the double standards do play a part. And I really just wanted to bring this, to life by citing an actual study that has been done in this space. Versus the actual day-to-day reality of my own lived experience and to showcase how these two things are happening side by side in the same. Circumstance. It may not be in this, in my situation, it may not be an academic article that I was writing, but actually expressing my point of view from being an expert that belongs to a, a specific profession, and yet being asked to hold back and, not share something that was the most basic information, versus, the double standard that would've happened had it been somebody else. Now. I've got additional layers to my identity that intersect and that that intersection really is about the fact that I'm not just female, but I am a brown female. I'm not just a brown female, but I'm a brown female from a subcontinent that has a lot of, backlash in. Many different places across the world. And so, I move forward with, knowing that my identity is very much multidimensional because there are parts to myself that are, and really going into the next discussion, which is the parts discussion, which is not only your professional and your personal identity, but in, you know, your situation, wherever, whichever walk of life you might be coming from, there might be parts to yourself that are. Multidimensional in the same way as belonging to an ingroup or an outgroup for, so what I mean by that is. You know, there, there are times in my life when I felt like I wanted to be the nurturer. There's, there are times in my life when I, when I feel strongly like I want to be the entrepreneur, there are times in my life where I want to be the mission-driven, purpose-driven person who wants to fight for accords. There, there are times in my life where I'm conflicted by being a mom and a wife, and the many other roles that I play with the passion that I want to pursue. I feel as though women have a lot to carry in this as female founders, when they are putting themselves online, quite often it comes to us with balancing those competing priorities, whatever they might be in our life. The third point that I do wanna point out is that you see a lot of women who already have a voice, they're publishing, they're saying. Things that they wanna say. They're showing up, they're doing all of those things. But that's not to say that it doesn't come with its fair share of pound of flesh. It comes with opening yourself up to backlash. It does come with isolation. It comes with having to sometimes defend yourself. And in the quiet ways in which some of those backlashes, they don't always have to be trolls on social media. Some of those can actually be in personal, put downs and snide remarks. So those are all of the things that, we as women have to take into account as we are putting our authentic selves out there. But the, it always comes back down to, and I always circle back to, well, why is this important? And it's really important because. At the end of the day, you cannot build a business at the end of a cul-de-sac. You have to, and what I mean, a cul-de-sac, where for those of you who might be outside of, the Australasian area, it really means at the end of a street and the quiet, quiet end of the street where no one's gonna find you. And so, it really comes down to three things. One is trust. The other is resonance. And the third one is resilience. And the first one being that. If content is king, then context is the crown. And so I just now wanna talk about why, despite having heard all of the challenges still matters and the reason being that it's a three step process that I mentioned earlier, which is trust, resonance, and resilience. Really, it comes down to the fact that as female founders, we are looking for our clients and customers to be able to trust us. And now trust is born in two different ways. Trust is born from whether someone feels that the message and the way you are articulating what it is that you wanna say. So everything that's in your head that you can then express into either the words that you use, whether that be on video, whether that be in a written format, are words that are actually going to resonate with the people that you are looking to come to you. And for them to actually be able to work with you. And so that requires a certain degree of trust in your voice, not only in your own voice, but also trust that is born out of, firstly, if you're showing up organically, is that trust based on how you show up consistently and that consistency. Is whether or not you show up based on how you feel about showing up in the first place, or it's linked to how you feel day by day. So for example, if you don't feel like showing up on one day because you've got things going on and life takes over, then. Obviously that can end up breaking the chain of consistency. One day goes into two, two goes into 3, 5, 7, 2 weeks, three weeks, and before you know it, you've actually lost momentum. And I'm sure that for some of you listening in, this will sound like, yep, that's me because, and the reason I say that is because that has exactly been me is that even though I want to show up. There are equities and inequities in my life that I have to balance which really does play into whether or not I can show up in the way I really want to. And so the link that I really wanna make here is that your emotional state will really reflect on how you show up and why. Really, you need a level of consistency, coaching, and guidance to actually keep you accountable through the, what I call the visibility journey towards inching, towards the visibility fast lane. Whether that be showing up more consistently, organically, or whether you are creating a content bank to then eventually go in and create. Video assets so that people can then start hearing your voice in multiple places and so that you're omnipresent in their environment and your voice becomes the trusted voice as a result of you building trust in your own voice. You being able to articulate your message in a way that needs to be heard. Taking into account the equities and inequities in your life that may be playing a part based on all of the things that I've shared already. And so that trust is what's actually going to help bring you more clients, bring you more leads, bring you more inquiries increase your attraction, increase your magnetism, and help you go from a state of being in fear. To being in flow and ease. And that comes with knowing that there is discomfort to be had by sharing the voice despite all of the roadblocks and challenges that I've actually mentioned in this episode already. And so if I think about that relation to my second point, which is resonance, and I know that there is a lot of. AI slop out there. You can create content with ai, absolutely. If that's you, then go for your life. But really what it really comes down to, which is the point I made earlier, which is if content is king, then context is the crown. Which is that the cherry on top that's now gonna make a difference between you and somebody else who does the same thing as you is actually going to be. The way in which you frame what it is that you do and how you frame what it is that you do is actually dependent, not only. On how you describe what you do, which is different to say somebody else offering the same thing, but also in the consistency in which how you show up that is not necessarily reliant entirely on your emotional state. So that's the second takeaway for you on really leaning into embracing that authentic voice and the reason why your voice still matters, despite knowing the challenges that are omnipresent all around us. The third one being resilience. I think the more we own our voice, the more we talk about what we do, the more we stand up and speak up for the things that we believe in and share our point of view, despite feeling like we might be canceled. It actually does help you to withstand criticism, and build resilience in yourself. And really being able to back yourself as a female founder, really back your business as well so the next thing that I'm gonna be sharing is how you might be able to move forward despite the fact that you have all of these things at play I'm gonna be sharing the five ways in which you can not only protect your voice and also show up authentically. So the first one being anchoring in your. Values, and I know this gets used or overused quite a lot, but it's really what keeps you grounded when fear arises. It's really knowing, what you're standing for what things are you gonna, keep on doing this. Spike, all of that. What's keeping you sad? If there are things in your life that are making you sad, you only really have to look internally and check out what your real values are. And I put values down as a, deck of cards at any one point, your delta hand from the deck of cards or a set of values that you have. And the three to four values that are in operation are usually. More, omnipresent at certain times in your life, which is to say that the hand that you get dealt with for your values gets swapped around based on the season of your life and what's most important to you at that time. And for me, it really has been a connection that has been lacking in my life for a really long time. And so the steps and the measures that I will take is. Intentionally building and opening myself up. To more connection as a way of living out my values. And when I start doing that on a regular basis, I start to see that my sadness will start to decrease because I'm actually playing into an, and my values are an action rather than just static and theoretical. So that is the one thing. And if you are interested in knowing how you can find your true voice, which is very deeply aligned with your deck of cards or values and operational, what you're optimizing towards. Then send me a message. I would love to hear from you. You can either reach out to me at Ika Lucas on LinkedIn, or you can reach out to me on at Content Halo on Instagram. And I would love to hear from you to even understand what your values might be and how this visibility journey could help you. So that's that's one. The second one is practice internal visibility. What I mean by internal visibility is that. You can have private journals. I have stacks of journals that I write all my thoughts in. I have a journal on my phone. I have a written journal because there are times when I just wanna type away if I'm away from my physical book. And then there are times when I just wanna write about things. Maybe it's on a early on a Saturday morning, early on, a Sunday morning. I'm an early riser that works for me. Do what's best for you, but pr, private voice notes to yourself private journals, practicing internal visibility is a really huge and will be a really huge benefit to you as you're navigating this road towards visibility in the fast lane, as I like to call it. And then share with clarity rather than urgency. I know that there's a lot of pressure out there to. Be consistent, show up, da dah. There are times and seasons in your life where not being overtly visible is actually a good thing because you are being visible to yourself. And when I talk about being visible to yourself, it's about putting self-care and self-love practices in place where something feels misaligned. You've really gotta breathe life into it and give enough time for it to work its way through. Four, you can embrace visibility in the fast lane. The fourth one is really own your humanity. I think. I feel like a lot of the women I work with in particular put a lot of pressure on themselves to do the right thing. They're often. People who have either been in private practice, have their own flourishing business and, have had to do quite a lot and of giving away a lot of themselves to get. To where they got to and then have come to the realization that actually they've given too much away of themselves in a bit. And now they're in a bit to reclaim some of that. And if that's you listening in today, it's just know that it's okay for you to be. Human It's okay to be vulnerable and for you to be able to process your inner narrative in a way that actually helps you become more visible. By having a low visibility technique, which is really embracing your inner voice first before you project anything out to the outside world. So if you're curious about that, have a look at the links in my show notes. There's you can head to content halo.com/story to get your, how to share your Story Without Oversharing Guide, which actually runs you through how you can resolve that inner narrative that you have for yourself. The second thing that and then the last thing I wanna say is that, really focus on building a reputation rather than just leaning on recognition. And I wanna quantify that within the social media space by saying that. If you're on social media, there will be a pressure on you to post in a way that actually earns you more likes and comments. And while that's fine you need to do that every once in a while. It's actually not a bad thing to do. Virality is not a bad thing by any means. But don't optimize for that out of the gate if you are still coming to terms with how to be visible. You can't go from being zero to 100 or 200 miles or kilometers an hour. If you are at, if you are just starting out, for instance, you are going to have to work through the journey of getting to where you are, to where you wanna be by taking the steps and measures that you need to close that authenticity gap that you might have for yourself because, you might feel. A hundred percent authentic to you, and you are already living out your values naturally, but perhaps you just don't know how to amplify them. But in doing so, if you've got a steep learning curve, you've gotta allow for that steep learning curve to actually happen first. Before you get into amplification so you don't end up in the same cycle that you were trying to escape in the first place. So I hope that you have enjoyed this episode as much as I have enjoyed creating it. If you have loved. Getting the insights I would love it if you could leave me a review for this and I would also love to hear from you. If you have any thoughts about this episode, what you thought about it, whether you enjoyed it send me a note on at Content Halo, and I would love to be able to send you a guide where you can amplify your voice and go further. With that being said, thanks very much and I'll see you in the next episode.