.png)
Asklé Modern Family
Welcome to Asklé Modern Family! From the heartfelt moments of raising kids, to the hustle of building their startup, join Asklé Co-Founders, Stephanie and Will, as they navigate the intersections of relationships, health and entrepreneurship.
Each week you will hear everything from personal stories and reflections, to interviews with leading health professionals, parenting and relationship experts, entrepreneurs, academics, authors and world class leaders.
Asklé Modern Family
20 - Developing Self Awareness Part 2
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Join us this week as we continue our conversation about self-awareness. Will shares some stories from his weekend of self-reflection and identifies a key insight. Stephanie reveals a personal anecdote that causes a surprising acknowledgment. Tune in to find out!
Follow us
B&B Corner Instagram
Asklé Instagram
Stephanie Instagram
Will Instagram
Get in touch
info@askle.co
Hey listeners before we jump into today's episode of the b&b corner, a quick shout out to our startup ask Lee. If you're a mom looking for personalized nutrition that fits into your busy life, is it escalade.co Today, and stay tuned until the end for an exclusive offer just for our listeners. It's all a choice how we live our life. It's all a choice. I'm so I'm feeling so sick. I'm so sore. I don't have time. I this are you know, yeah, but you don't know what it's like. And I've got to work here. And I've got to do this. And like, you know, all these like, grumpy things about whatever. It's all a choice. Hello. Hello, and welcome
Will Slater:to the BMV corner. Just what?
Unknown:What definitely what Welcome. Today
Will Slater:is our 20th. Episode.
Stephanie Slater:Town. Go us so we're in the top 1% or something, whatever? Well,
Will Slater:apparently, that's an that's an unofficial Oh, with
Stephanie Slater:such conviction as well, it
Will Slater:is I mean, I've really well run it in multiple places
Unknown:such as that, read it.
Will Slater:Not read it. But I have read it in places that yeah, if you do 20 episodes of a podcast, you're in the top 1%.
Stephanie Slater:So cite your references,
Will Slater:references or whether it's legitimate or not, I'm considering us and the top 1%.
Stephanie Slater:You know, it's really funny, though with Will and I when we fight for lack of know, disagree have like debates, all that kind of thing.
Unknown:Where really, we hold each other to such as our high
Stephanie Slater:regard. I don't think that's the worst standard. Yeah, like a high standard. And we're always like, Well, where did you get that from? Like, what was your source? Was it credible? Was it peer reviewed? Because now that will has done an MBO I used to have I used to be the only one that had like, you know,
Will Slater:used to think you were the only smart one. I didn't truce. It's not the truth. On educated.
Stephanie Slater:That's not a Yeah, and then I still got with you so clearly couldn't have thought that poorly. But no, when you first started doing it wasn't even your MBA, it was like a, like, I remember what do you do before the NBA like a certificate or a diploma or something like that. And you had no idea what referencing meant you didn't like you'd never written really an academic paper. And I was like, Oh, this is how you do it. You know, you sit down here, I'll show you this. Here's a note. This is how you cite things done. And then within such a short period of time, and I'm talking about, but such a short period of time, you were just like smashing out academic papers, citing them, like your references were so rigorous and thorough. And then you were talking to me about all this peer reviewed stuff. And I'm like, what, like, who are you? And so now we're at this thing where I actually often will feel really inferior. When we have these like debates anyway.
Will Slater:The only way to resolve an argument in our house multiple. If you have one peer reviewed multiple peer reviewed sources, you can cite verbatim. To go and find them. It's like you have to cite
Stephanie Slater:appreciate at all 2002 PubMed
Will Slater:anyways, but also, we also got an email today just say that we've just hit 1000 downloads.
Unknown:Oh,
Will Slater:is that good? That sounds good. Much better than one. Yeah. I'll be taking it. I'm sure somebody will get 1000 a day but wow. And so if you are listening to this and you are enjoying listening, are you gonna do a little which must be because you keep listening? Thank you. Please share sales and bombs. We don't do any advertising for this. This is all just word of mouth and it spreads because people share it. So please feel free to share this with someone that you think might enjoy it as well and get them on board and subscribe and leave a review if you like. Please.
Stephanie Slater:And thank you. That's enough of a plug. Anyway, how's your weekend? It was your birthday.
Will Slater:weekend was good
Stephanie Slater:oh, man, when a bit what's his name? What's the dude that goes out into the desert? Grills Yeah, you want to bid Bad Girls
Will Slater:star girls I went off for a few days on my own you went
Stephanie Slater:you went actually off grid like to the point where we had set up this fine you know the Find My Location thing with people. And I don't do that apparently was done that to me a few times to check where I am. But I had I didn't even know we had it. And so anyway, we set it up because we knew where it was going like real random. Like Yep, cool can find you. And then Friday night I was like, Okay, I hadn't heard from you. So I was like, I'll just check. No location, no location, refresh, refresh, like okay, I'm sure he's alive. I'm sure it's all good. Just go to sleep. Didn't sleep. Anyway, so we're
Will Slater:not even Apple could find a place to be. I went down to Wilson's prom and I don't know if anyone's been down there but there's a spot wherever it goes called tidal River. That's where it's like full with caravans and people camping and stuff, but I want to go to the other side actually. didn't even tell you this but no, God, watch. Here we go. I didn't think I'd tell you to like at home. Or when I got there, ah,
Stephanie Slater:this is not okay. You drop bombs on this podcast all the time. And then people wonder why I'm like a bit psycho, because you just put me on the spot. And anyway, yeah, what you almost died. So
Will Slater:I got there and I got to the entrance of the prom, which is about 25 30k from the main campground, you go through this sort of big entrance and they've got park rangers there, and they sort of check to make sure that you're doing the right thing. It's all a national park. You can't just you know, wandering. And so I get to the, to the front ticket booth, and the lady goes to me. She goes, Oh, hey, going down for the weekend as she goes, okay. Can you just give me your booking details? Oh, I was like, Oh, I haven't booked. And she said to me, you do not Australia Day weekend. She goes, Well, there's nothing left at all. We're fully booked. So you can head back about 100 kilometers. And there'll be a, I'm sure there'll be a campground that you can find in one of the local towns. And I've driven nearly four hours to get there, by the way. So I was like, Well, I'm not turning around. So I said, Well, actually I'm planning on going over to to the East Coast. I'm not going to stay anywhere near tidal river. And she said, Oh, well, let me have a look. And so she checked and she said, I'm sorry, all the camps in the southeastern area are actually all fully booked. So I'm about to get there. And I said, I'm planning on going to this specific spot. And she said, all the walkway there was actually washed away by a massive storm three years ago, and we haven't rebuilt it. So you can't walk there. Oh, all right. So had a look at the map. And I picked out another spot. I said, What about here? Five Mile Beach area? And she said I've ever been to the north part of the prom before I said no. And she said, Oh, well, you won't be able to go there. She said, overall the walkway, there's shrubs that are waist high that will rip your arms and legs apart. She said There's brown snakes as big as your arm. And she said ever off that coast is full of sharks. Oh my god, you can't go there. And you went there. And I said, just check if there's any camp spots left. And she looked. And she said, yeah, there's no one out there. I said, I guess I'm going to the north. So that's where I went. Oh my god. So it was pretty wild.
Stephanie Slater:Not a single scratch on you.
Will Slater:I had scratches on my legs. But yeah, they're not too bad. But I did do some hockey I did about 50 days of hiking, and it was brutal.
Stephanie Slater:And like snakes, I mean, you see, well, you showed us all the beautiful videos of like dolphin and a wombat and a seal. Which is incredible. But I didn't see snakes or snakes.
Will Slater:Fortunately, none that I saw. But I was I was literally walking along. And so the way What did you say that when you're like, Yes, I'm going there. She's looked at me like, You're a fucking idiot. Obviously, she
Stephanie Slater:still allowed it. That seems weird. Oh,
Will Slater:she's like, you know, go at your own risk. Okay. She said, don't even bother about telling us when you leave. She had your details down as an emergency contact. She said your wife will call us if we need to go. And I said yes, you will. Oh, my gosh, pretty wild. And it was pretty scary. It was it was actually knowing that there were snakes that like everything was out there to kill you. There were obviously the snakes, which I didn't see any fortunately, but I was walking along. And there were shrubs covering the whole thing. So you could not see where your font was, you couldn't see the part the little track. And so all I had, I had this big stick that had like an and thick end on it. And I was just standing that about half a meter in front of my feet, and I would smash it on the ground. And then I'd take a step and then I would smash it on the ground and then take a step to hopefully scare away the snakes. But it was it was it was definitely in the middle of nowhere, and pretty wild.
Stephanie Slater:I have two thoughts to that. One is we have listeners, which is very interesting, all around the world. And I feel like if they're not Australian, they'll be thinking, Australia is effed. Like there are so many scary things that she didn't
Will Slater:even tell me about the Sandfire so I spent most of one afternoon in my tent because
Stephanie Slater:a quick message from our sponsor asked me why is
Will Slater:that well like the size of golf balls? Actually the show attack you so you would you walk outside your tent it'd be 10 or 15 of them on you when they're trying to bite your legs arms are awful. I went for a swim a couple of times and they were massive where the sharks were. Well, I didn't go out too far I didn't go too far away. I thought the sharks would be over there will ribs everywhere in the ocean that like the current mental.
Stephanie Slater:And you know what, my second thing I was gonna say is I'm not even that shocked anymore. Like I reckon four years ago. I would have been having heart palpitations and Oh, William. And now just like as she said, Go at your own peril. If you're you want this you love this. You think it's like, I don't know you're a weirdo. It gets you off. It's your thing. So good luck to you. Just remember you got to think He's at home, and we would like you to be alive. I came back so she'd come back. But I just want to give context because I think we did talk about it in the last podcast. But at the last episode, we wanted to do this thing for well for ourselves and for each other as almost like a birthday present. But it's we gift each other the gift of time. So you get, we say, sort of that two nights away to just, you know, do your own thing, reconnect with yourself, do what brings you joy fills your cup. And our interpretations of that could not be further apart. Wills, as he's just said, is literally to risk his life. And mine is like, Okay, well, I'll try and find a hotel. And I wonder if there's like a massage parlor nearby. And then I'd love to just order room service, which is our time for me done it. And then I don't want to like, I don't want to watch TV or listen to you know, I'll reconnect with myself, but I'll reconnect with myself in the luxury of a dressing gown and slippers and knowing exactly where my feet are at all times. And you're just anyway, you'll loose. It's good fun, or your mum would be stressing now that she's heard that because she was like, she even said to me, You feeling okay, you know, that was going and maybe she was worried that me on my own. But anyway,
Will Slater:well, I also I do have a bit of an obsession with initiation programs for kids. And so the whole time I was out there, I was thinking, how good is this going to be when I can bring everybody around? Sebastian Eddie. Yeah.
Stephanie Slater:All right. No worries.
Will Slater:I don't have to carry everything on their backs. They have to survive, because you do like the obviously there's degrees to it. But with the initiation that there is there should be always a sense that you could die at this coffee.
Stephanie Slater:Well, that's the point of it, not taking my children somewhere where they feel like they could die if they want.
Will Slater:They want to feel like they could walk.
Unknown:That's the point. What guarantee did you
Stephanie Slater:have that you wouldn't die? You had nothing?
Will Slater:I will only take them back.
Stephanie Slater:Okay, well, you won't, I'll decide what's appropriate. And you just, you reckon that I'll just allow you to take the kids to whatever you think is safe, what you deem, mate. As I said, our interpretations of a lot of things are so far apart,
Will Slater:we will see the whole point of doing this, which both of us have expressed you haven't gone on yours yet. Are you gonna go?
Stephanie Slater:Dunno, I need to live. I booked a few other things, though, for myself. Because we only just talked about that on it was like, just after Christmas wasn't at the 27th or something like that, like, we only just made that was that when we talk about it? Yeah, at that hotel night. So I haven't really given it much thought it was like Christmas, then we were away for two weeks, and I just hadn't really was you get very into this idea. But I've done I've got two things that I've booked that are coming up that I have done for me and to fill my cup, and I'm really excited about them. And they weren't cheap. So I didn't realize but Thursday, I have my kinesiology appointment. And it goes for an hour and a half. I am pumped pumped beyond something you can look at me like that I look at Trust me, I look at what you do with disgust as well. So we can just appreciate our differences. Anyway, so that's my thing, so probably won't know. Because I need money from home. I don't do a $30 tent, in the middle of a friggin bush with snakes and
Will Slater:$15 to stay down there. So 45 but sometimes I'm not doing the reason why. I mean, why have we decided that's important. I've done it now for a couple of years. But yeah, you've always done it. It's I believe, and I think you the same, but it's such an important time, I think, especially after becoming parents to get away and have some time to yourself to really, just to think and to, like we said on the last podcast, develop a greater understanding of yourself so that you can then be better for the rest of the family. And that's, I believe that wholeheartedly that you can only, you can only give from a full cup, and you have to take care of yourself to be able to support others around you. And I think doing something like this isn't really important part of that. And I got a lot out of my couple of days away I went in, I think it's always good to set an intention. So I set an intention going into it. And I set an intention on this one might well my question was, What am I missing? What's the thing that I'm missing about myself to be able to go to the next level and achieve the things that we want to achieve? Like what's holding me back? I feel like something's getting in the way of that. And I wanted to try and figure out what that was. And so that was my intention going into the couple of days I wanted to try and find an answer to that question. And I did and It was so blindingly obvious once I'd discovered it, that I almost felt stupid for not recognizing it earlier. But I felt the thing that I was missing was gratitude. The simplicity of it was probably gave it Yeah, so much power and why it was so profound. I have always intellectually sort of knew and understood, you have got to have gratitude, you've got to be grateful for what you've gotten appreciate that. But I've never really embodied it until I went away. And really felt this overwhelming sense of gratitude for what we've got in our life. And, you know, life's never perfect. And there's a lot of things that we want to do and that we want to have and things that we want to achieve. But my realization was that all the jigsaw pieces are there for that it just needs to be put together, we were very fortunate to have two great kids, we've got a, we're in a loving relationship, we've got a great marriage, we have a business, which we've always wanted, we're doing that together. Yes, it's not as successful as we would like it to be yet, but we're right at the beginning. So that's there's no expectation that it would be we're working on that. We're loving working on that, together, we're overcoming challenges together, we're working on our relationship together, where, you know, even our extended families, our siblings, our parents, they're all happy and healthy and together, and we're just it's such a beautiful time in our life yet. You're probably better at it than me, but I feel sometimes I just don't recognize that or appreciate that. And I go through life being hard on myself and you know, miserable sometimes, because I'm thinking of all the things that I want to do things that I want to achieve. And I get pissed off or frustrated with myself that I haven't done that yet. But over the weekend, it was just stop, man. Enjoy, be present, be with the kids enjoy that moment. Do the work. It's all there. All the pieces are there.
Stephanie Slater:And so what what was like the moment that made you think it's gratitude that you need to, you know, hold on to all that that's the thing that's missing, like, what was it? In those two nights that you're away? Was it a thought? Was it a feeling? Was it looking around? Because not only answer first,
Will Slater:there were probably a couple of moments. One of them was obviously I had no technology on my phone with me, but I wasn't connected to anything. On the Saturday night, I was just lying there, there was a storm and so I'd been laying in the tent for a while and I was trying to avoid these buddy sandflies that were backing me every time I left. So I've been lying in my tent for like five hours, you know, I just just watching out the the storm come through. And you know, after a while you get a bit fidgety. And so I just started looking through photos in my phone. And I went right back as far as I could in my phone and my phone took me back to 2017. And I looked through all these photos and now photos of us of you know, before we got engaged, and then once we got engaged and music festivals that we went to and our trip over to Italy and and I just took myself back to what headspace I was in at that time. And what I was thinking at that time. And I remember thinking about all the things I wanted, and then had the realization that we have all of those things I wanted, you know, together, we wanted to be married, we wanted to have children we wanted to have, ideally, boy and girl, which we've got, we wanted to be in a happy relationship. We wanted a business while I probably wanted that more so than I knew at that stage. But that was something that I deeply want. And I deeply wanted to be doing that together. And I just thought about Zach shit, man, we're doing everything that we wanted. Were doing. Yeah. And that was five or six years ago. So it's all there. It's all there. And yeah, I think too often. I mean, I'd speak on behalf of myself. But I imagine there's a lot of people who might feel this way you think of all the things that you lack? Or that you don't have all that you want to do rather than thinking about what you do have.
Stephanie Slater:Yeah, I think that for both of us. We we struggle at being proud of where we're at, because we're always looking at the next thing. And I think that is true of a lot of people who are driven, ambitious. So I think that that's something that we both need to be better at, in celebrating the wins. Being proud of how far we've come sitting in that. I think that probably work for you is around being present, because your mind is always in the next thing. Whereas I think I can probably do that a bit better. And you actually said to me the other day, you know, when I'm at work, I'm at work. I mean, I probably still have a bit of the kids like I'll check their childcare app or something like that. But when I'm with the kids, I don't I make that choice to not think about work. You sometimes want to talk about work and I'm like I'm not I'm not present in that. That's not where I'm at right now. I want my kids to have my full attention. But I was also going to say and the reason I ask why I why you felt that gratitude is because often I have felt, and it's my own insecurities. But I have felt like when you want to go on these trips, you're wanting to escape us, like, I was taking it like, we were burdensome to you. And you needed time away in a break from us and find yourself again to reconnect with you, because but I think another there's truth in that. But I do think that this is the first time where I have felt so much more confident in you just going away and whatever, because I know that it's not that, but also, it's the first time that you have come home. And last year, you said, I really missed you guys. It's why you came home early. But this time you came home, as you said, with such gratitude and such awareness of the privileged life we lead, and how much we take that for granted. And you just wanted to be back with that you wanted to be back with your blessings, because that is what we are to each other. We are blessings that felt really nice to make. So I was like, oh, yeah, you do realize, and I know you do. But I'm just saying my own. It was just a nice thing to you even had this and it can I share it? Yeah, that line in your notes. And the last line said, I close my eyes and I see you. And I was like, Oh, that's nice. Who do you say like I know, you said you said you did it. Yeah, said you. And that's what I thought it must have been an inward reflection. Like, I close my eyes and I see you like I see you will I see, you know, you saying that's what I thought. And you're like, No, you but I was like What do you mean, you see me? And then you said close your eyes. And so anyway, it was this nice moment of like, oh, okay, so you do love me. I know you love me, but you know what I mean? It's just it was like, it actually made me very emotional. Because it just felt powerful. It felt very much like an awareness of recognition. A true embodiment, as you said, of gratitude. And I think that that's really important because funnily enough, I saw this thing pop up on my Instagram, it was Eckhart Tolle, I think they say, pronounce it. That's how they pronounced it. And he was talking about because obviously, he's about being present mindfulness. That's his whole thing. The power of now.
Will Slater:At the top of my reading list, ah,
Stephanie Slater:have you not read it? No,
Will Slater:I've got it. I do. Yeah. All right.
Stephanie Slater:Oh, no, no, no, I've got I just got to go through that box. But anyway, this short snippet was essentially saying something along the lines of worrying about the future or living in the future is actually robbing you of reality. And I found that really powerful because it's like, yeah, I'm not even here in real life. I'm actually ignoring real life and I'm taking myself out somewhere in life is happening to me and I'm wherever I am like, that's awful. I did just have this moment of and we talked about especially with Sebastian and we and it sounds like Sebastian 14 Cops it up or was extroverted. But he's older he's he's going to be four Arabella is turning to like her sassiness is starting to really come out. When she gets to three and four, I'm sure will be. I think she's going to be even harder. But so you know, she doesn't ask for books before bed because well, she reads one on her chair. And then she goes to bed special was exactly the same. Sebastian is now in a bed, he wants you to lay with him. He wants you to read books. He wants you to tell stories. He wants all that his imagination is wild now. So you know, I get really impatient, especially one more book. I've told you one more. That's it. And it's better. And yes, it's because I want my time I'm tired. I want to, you know, be able to and then he wants a story from you. And you're the same Sebastian, one more story that I'm giving you one more minute and then you know, that's it, you need to go to bed. But I feel like we're the adults. And this time is going to be fleeting. And we're going to look back on it with such nostalgia and we're going to hate ourselves for for cutting the time that we have with our children. And it's on us to Well, you already do want to wake up early. Wake up earlier, like you wake up at you know, your 430 or 4am Whatever you do, I was watching the Kardashians Khloe Kardashian wakes up at 430 in order to get her exercising and get herself sorted and then to be present with her kids. And she's from what they show and what she has said very, very hands on. And I was like, that's my time. My time isn't at night. So if I want to stay with him for as long as I need and then it's 830 and I'm exhausted then fine. Go to bed. You don't need to scroll. That's not your time. Your time needs to be in the morning because that's when I'm productive. I feel really good. Actually felt great this morning went to plays I woke up I woke up it was before the kids that why am I still going on in my time and in my time? Well, you chose to have children and they need you. And this time is going to be very short lived. So give him the friggin minute. But I think what we have found is that it's so easy to say it when you're out of the situation. But when you're in it and you are so tired, and you have just 11 hours with them. You're like get the book
Unknown:to bed.
Stephanie Slater:Today's episode is brought to you by ask li our very own health tech startup that's redefining wellness for moms. If you're trying to juggle everything in life like we are and want a simple and easy way to stay on top of your health This is for you. Imagine a daily scoop of wellness crafted based on your unique health needs and delivered right to your doorstep. As clay makes it easy with bespoke supplements tailored to your needs, ready to transform your health is@esquire.co and book a brief consult with one of our health practitioners. Stay tuned until the end of this episode for an exclusive offer. Ask Ray made just for you.
Will Slater:I mean, that's why the book is on my list. I think I've lived my entire life in the future.
Stephanie Slater:Yeah. Yeah. Well,
Will Slater:I've never ever been able to Oh, was going to say enjoy the present, but even experience the present. Even looking through the photos, like it wasn't the weekend, I found I found the photos of when Sebastian was born. And now photos the morning that you went into labor with him 730 In the morning, whatever it was, and you're lying in the hospital bed or happy and excited not knowing what the next 24 hours. And then the next few photos were of these like triathlon people's rooms that they'd set up like these training things that they'd set up at home. And I was looking to make one at home because I knew that I was going to be spending a lot more time I'm gonna be able to be out on the bike and have to train inside and so I was looking at them while you're in labor, oh, and then there are more photos of just before he was born, and we're looking so heavy than what the fuck are you doing man? In labor with your I wasn't in the room or your wife was in labor. And you weren't even in that moment? Wasn't even enjoying that. Enjoyment? Maybe they're experiencing that moment.
Stephanie Slater:Let's just hang on. I just don't want to. Yes, but I also don't want to take credibility away from you. I guess. You were so my labor with Sebastian for the first like 12 hours was I had an epidural. No, sorry. No, no, I had, I had an induction sorry, had an epidural were like the 12 hour mark. But I had an induction and I was having contractions, but they were so far between. A lot of it is a blur, to be honest. Like I don't but I remember I was like, happy. I was like bouncing on my ball. I was talking to the nurse. I loved her. I think her name was Billy.
Unknown:Billy. Yes.
Stephanie Slater:Yeah. Because she knew her because it's Bendigo. Anyway. So it's not like it was in active labor that you were on your phone. And I'm like, that was not the case. So let's just be very clear. But absolutely. You were not present for yourself.
Will Slater:Yeah. Yeah. So that's something that, yeah, that's
Stephanie Slater:a huge realization. You're not though you are often away. And it's very even with the fairies. It's with like, this insane. regimented. Like I should be doing this. And I shouldn't be
Will Slater:thinking about work. That's basically
Stephanie Slater:it's gonna be great. Like it will pay off. But it can be hard. I think for the relationships of people you have, I think kids me,
Will Slater:I think part of it isn't isn't necessary evil. But, but I don't I want to temper it a little bit. I think at the moment. Yeah. I
Stephanie Slater:think as you said, if you can be just a bit more. Yeah, present and mindful. And read Eckhart Tolle this book? Maybe I will, because yeah, I think there's such power in that I think there really is because as I said, otherwise, you're not you're actually never living, you're never living, you're never truly experiencing life and the beauty like to that Okay, so I'm trying to do a bit more content creation. Sounds so anyway, I started I'm gonna I'm gonna say where I'll put it. But my friends found me on an on an app, not this app is but I had no followers. I was like, I'm just going to pull myself out of math. And I've got no followers. And then my one friend found me she's like, What look evolved over my feet. I'm like, No. Anyway, so I'm trying to do a bit more content creation. And I am videoing a lot more. And at first, I was like, oh, like, this morning, I walk I walked to Pilates because it's like, in 10 minutes. And I was videotaped, but you know, what I actually found it was bringing me into the present. I was like, looking around and noticing things and I found this beautiful love heart in this tree, like someone had put this red love heart into this tree. And I just sat there and looked at it and I was like, how beautiful and then I took a photo of it because I you know, and then I saw hot air balloons and I want to take a photo and a video for the kids but also, but then I was looking at that and I'm watching how they moved and then the moon was out and it was so beautiful. And I just found myself being really present and enjoying and almost like a child would stop Look Look what I found in the tree. Oh, stop. Look, look at the moon. I found myself stopping pausing at moments just taking it in and it was it was so it was actually so powerful. And I found myself coming home really excited to see the kids and like I couldn't wait to hear them scream at me and
Will Slater:I actually think there's something to be said for creating rather than consuming. And yeah, I mean your example of walking and taking things in or looking for things yes is true of in the Real World walking around looking for things. But I also think it helps when you consume other content because you're consuming it with a purpose. Create other content, you mean? No, like, if you are if you have a lens to be creative, like we're both trying to be more creators than consumers, you still need to consume some stuff because then you didn't put your own spin on that. But you know, as an example, I'm, I'm now consuming other content with an intention of creating something of my own out of it. So whenever I'm reading a book inspiration, it well, it's also intentional. So I'm looking at things, reading things, listening to things, and thinking more deeply about it and thinking, what would I What would my spin on that be? How can I turn this into something that I could create something out of? So anytime I get an idea or hear someone, I think, jeez, that's really cool. I wish I hadn't said that. I'll write it down. And then I look at it and analyze it and think what what would I put on this? What would be some of my own personal experience that I would attach to this idea? How could I turn this into a different idea? Or how do I improve this idea? So I do think that there's something to be said, for being purposeful and intentional about how you consume with an idea to create exactly like what you were doing this morning. Yeah, I
Stephanie Slater:just, I noticed so much more the world that I was in, and that felt really nice. Because again, I think even with kids, we rush them, you know, we walk into childcare, and we just we want to get there. And we want to get there by this time. Because we know we want to leave by this time, because we know we want to start work by this time. And we have all these and listen, life is life. There's we're very lucky in that we're we're building our own business. So we can kind of adjust our hours or do things at different times. But a lot of jobs, you have to be there by you know, start at nine. So generally, you need to be there somewhere between eight and 830. And that means drop the kids and we are we're bound by a lot of those societal rules. So I'm definitely not saying, you know, who cares. But for us in the privileged position, wherein when our child wants to stop and smell the roses, literally, we shouldn't be bloody doing it. Because kids are magical, and they are creative, and they still are living in that imaginative world where everything is they curious, we lose curiosity, we lose an ability to see the world in front with fresh eyes, like we just were so cynical. And yeah, I think if we could, we can learn so much more from our kids, and probably they can learn from us. But we come down on them with our rules that society is put on us. And and it's just this, you know, if we flip it, if we reverse it, and we actually look at them as our teachers and our guides and our sages, we will just get so much more from life, let alone our relationship with that child. That was profound.
Will Slater:I just didn't use the word cynical, the I was reading and learning about something over the weekend while I was away, but the three different stages that people often get stuck in the middle stage. So the first stage is about how you see the world and how you experience the world. So the first stage be naivety. So kids, as an example, are totally naive. They think that I probably don't think at all but everything's great and wonderful and exciting and new and fresh and youthful place to be. Everything's beautiful. It's complete naivety and then you start to experience that if and you start to realize that there's hardship and there's challenge and there's difficult and difficulties and people are out for their own self interest. And they'll screw you over. And people can be really brutal. And so you have these challenging experiences, which leads to cynicism, and a lot of people stay there. And a lot of people stay cynical with the world. They get older. And it's like, you know, huff and puff about everything and everything shit, and everything's bad. And this is some of the stuff I talked to you about. And you think, Oh, you see the world so badly when I say that the world is such a brutal place. Well, I like
Unknown:to be naivety.
Will Slater:I've maybe been beaten around the head a little bit and have developed some cynicism. But then the next level to that is wisdom. Because
Stephanie Slater:so is it that you move through, you're expected to come out the other side of the sinister
Will Slater:daily come out of cynicism, and you move into wisdom and wisdom is a place of knowing and understanding that the world is a hard place knowing that brutality exists, knowing that you are going to face challenges knowing that people are out for their own self interest, but doing things anyway, and doing things in a wiser way and being aware enough of things to make appropriate decisions and being courageous enough to still enter into things that you know, we're entering into this business. I was for all intents and purposes, in a large way screwed over in our in my last business partnership, Ty could have said with a cynical mind that again, it's all a waste of time. Everyone's just gonna fuck you over but no, it's about being wise and saying okay, well now I know what the traps look like. Yeah, what will I do now accordingly, but still been courageous enough to do it anyway. So I think you might be a little bit of naivety Hi, I'm trying to get to wisdom and you might you might even leapfrog to wisdom. But no,
Unknown:I actually really, I really liked that. Who said it? What was your thoughts? Your thoughts?
Will Slater:Okay, because you always say to me that I hang negative. Yeah, can I think it's true, but
Stephanie Slater:what I was going to say was, I love that. I think that that's powerful. And I do think that there, I completely agree a lot of people will stay in that negative cycle because it's what they know. And, and confirmation bias, you don't have to look very hard for that. Like it's the world can be hard and harsh, and it can feel like that. And you're interpreting Oh, well, yeah, your interpretation of what the wisdom stage phase looks like. I would probably just add to that, that whilst you know, the trappings and you know, you've learned from experience and yes, there are bad people out there. But, you know, I'm stronger because of it. And I'm still courageous. The layer that I will be adding to that without having read, listened, whatever it was to the source unknown. I wouldn't be adding to that, but there's still beauty in the world. And you shouldn't be fearful of that, because there's still so much to explore. And just because you had a bad experience, or just because this relationship turned like this or just because that doesn't mean that everything is that way. And the only way you will learn is if you keep throwing yourself in threes and threes. And yeah, falter and fall and hurt yourself and all those things, but there's beauty in life. And so I think that with you and I sometimes where I get frustrated with you and say you're so negative is because you go it's all shit. Everything's hard. everyone's out to get you nowhere, you can only rely on yourself. But that's what makes you courageous. That's what makes you brave. And it's like coming from so much. And it's what drives you you are like using you come not coming from but your driving force is like a more negative driving force. I would say like your your self talk can sometimes be negative and all that kind of, I think for me I'm trying to like, make sense. It's more
Will Slater:be more positive and like,
Unknown:yeah, yeah, do this, this.
Stephanie Slater:You know what I think it is, I think I am more hopeful in it's like, my girlfriend's always say to me want to before I found you. And I would go on date, and I would date, you know, whatever I or a date guys for a period and they will just be awful. Or like one of my best friends is like, what the hell, he's divorced. You're like, 26, what are you doing? And I was like, no, like, it's fine. And I might,
Will Slater:also might call that naive, but
Stephanie Slater:fine, but I'm happy that I guess I'm actually happy to be that because my thing was I love love. And I'm not gonna give up on honestly, they used to laugh at me. And I was like, I'm not gonna give up on love. I
Unknown:love love. I
Stephanie Slater:think there is beauty in the world. I love that. I've been through hardships, I've been through some really dark times in my life over my journey. If I just stayed in that negative, cynical thing, oh, like, I would not be who I am today. But if I can like toot my own horn, I think I'm a rather positive, uplifting person that really sees the good in people and the world. And I don't want my kids to lose sight of the beauty in the world. I really don't. And I don't want to ever lose sight of that. And I think sometimes I do. I think I get caught up in whatever it might be, whether it's the hustle culture of a startup, or whether it's the parenting and which way should I go and whatever. But again, my mantra, my theme this year is intuition and being connected to the Divine Self, like it is so powerful. And there's just, I don't know, there's such beauty in that. And there are so many blessings in this world. And it's choose what to focus on and where you put your energy is where you're gonna vibrate at, and that's what you're gonna attract. Now, I'm going woowoo, but it's true. You want to manifest shit vibrate at that level. And that will come to you, too. Anyway,
Will Slater:there might be a possibility that I made a mistake before.
Unknown:Sorry, what?
Will Slater:Mistakes very often, as you well know. I'm just
Stephanie Slater:gonna sit back and have a listen and have a drink.
Will Slater:Well, I think it's quite possible that you might in fact already be at the wisdom stage. Possibly. Oh, and I say that right, where am I? I say that because you, you have seen and experience what darkness looks like, and you had your own challenges as a kid and you've touched on that a little bit. But there were, you know, you saw some really challenging situations and were part of those and experience those. So maybe you moved into that through cynicism into wisdom, much, much younger, much younger. And so you have you have a deep understanding of what the negative side of the world can and look like. But despite all of that you choose to look for the positive side anyway. Because, as you said, you are hopeful. And I think that's a great thing to be. Thank you to maybe you're leaps and bounds ahead of me.
Stephanie Slater:I mean, I would say that already, but yeah, sure. I'll take it. I do just, yeah, I
Unknown:actually feel very
Stephanie Slater:weird. I'm looking for my hands are going around because I'm feeling empowered is the right word, but aligned. I feel like everything I'm saying now and just what I think. And it's like, yeah, I'm not naive, or I don't know, we were joking, as in about the naivety. But it's all a choice. You know, how we live our life. It's all a choice. And we talk about that a lot. You know, I'm so I'm feeling so sick, or I'm so sore. I don't have time. I this are you know, yeah, but you don't know what it's like, because I've got to work here. And I've got to do this. And like, you know, all these like, grumpy rareearth things about whatever. It's all a choice. And I am the first to whinge and complain. And you know, I can't get I can't get up earlier. Well, you can, it's a choice. And anyway, I just think how we choose to look at the world. And also what we impart on our children and how we model to them is so important as well, because my, probably my biggest fear is, when I watch both of us, this is not a diss to you, this is something that I do to you almost, like, slap, slap it out of the kids, not literally, you know, we're so like, Oh, don't do that. Oh, hurry up. Oh, like, we just, we deprive them of what their mind should be doing. And then you can see them crumble, like, you can see that they're like their shoulders, you know, dropping their head, bowels, and because they're like, Oh, cool.
Will Slater:We're developing cynicism. Because,
Stephanie Slater:yeah, because they're being weighed down, because they're saying, and we should be showing them all the positives as long as, as long as we can, like, create that world for them. I feel like we should that's not to say, mollycoddle them and wrap them up and cotton wool. Don't ever let them say bad things. Because that's
Will Slater:that maybe they get the best of maybe they get the best of both worlds. Maybe you hope and then I take them out into the wilderness and show them that they could be dead at any moment.
Stephanie Slater:Balance yin and yang. Well,
Will Slater:I think it is a choice. And I think you're 100% Right. And I, especially after the weekend, I'm choosing to show and have more gratitude and be grateful for the things that we do have. And I think again, maybe a second mistake that I might have made, which might be the
Stephanie Slater:maybe my favorite episode ever.
Will Slater:You said last week that it doesn't those those journeys and those experiences of introspection don't always have to be dark and difficult. And author, I can't remember the word that I used clear for the hour sort of saying Yep. Because the weekend was beautiful. And enlightening and a a wonderfully joyful experience to have a realizing that everything that I want I have. So kudos to you might
Stephanie Slater:say this microphones on a stand. Really, if I could, I would drop it and walk out. This is what I need to learn with you. I think I get too aggravated with you because you're so like, it's this way now. And like when I listen to last week's episode, I get really like, just because you think it's that way doesn't mean? Yeah, I think if I just, again, be like, be like water. That's my thing. Be like water and let you let you do you think that you say you always come up for that. Getting to prove me wrong. But the thing is, you come around and so I should just sit back in my knowing. As I said, I haven't empowered God as at this moment. That's how I'm feeling. That's where I'm at. I'll just sit back in my knowing. And then you'll come to me and I will say I'm so glad you had that experience that it's not gonna be I told you so. It's gonna be I'm so glad you had that experience. Good. Beautiful. I love that for you. I love it for us. I do. I think that that's Yeah. And I'm glad that you have had that experience because it's made me feel really appreciated. And like, Oh, good. You do love us and you do love being a dad and a husband. And of course you do.
Unknown:But yeah. Okay.
Stephanie Slater:Also, we didn't mention, oh, are you gonna say something else? No, we didn't mention that. Were filming recording in a different place. We're not in our studio. And we're hoping that the audio is going to be really good. The visual will look a bit different, but hopefully, it doesn't really affect anything. So let us know we've got
Will Slater:a lot of stuff happening on the pod. This yo much
Stephanie Slater:stuff. Should we give a teaser of what who's coming up what we might are we might not be able to release it next week. But we have our first ever guests. Do you notice the gifts plural?
Will Slater:What's your taser? What do you think? There's only one clue surely.
Stephanie Slater:I was gonna say it's sexy and inclusive. Oh,
Unknown:oh, okay,
Will Slater:that's a little bit too direct.
Stephanie Slater:Oh, is it? Oh, well not if you don't know that, like the context. Yeah, fair
Will Slater:enough.
Unknown:What's your teaser?
Will Slater:I was gonna say nipples.
Stephanie Slater:That's way more obvious. Yeah. Anyway, again, I don't know context no
Will Slater:people who have no idea
Stephanie Slater:anyway, they're gonna be the first ever guess
Will Slater:something to do with lactation just Oh, yeah. If you thinking down that route, you're wrong.
Stephanie Slater:Anyway, all right. So we do have
Will Slater:a lot happening on the past. There's a lot of different shows. Yes. And guests and different stuff that we're doing. Yeah,
Stephanie Slater:I guess we did not think we could get
Will Slater:I mean, now that we're in the top 1% I guess we can afford to get anywhere with a bit liberal and do things a bit different. So that's what we're gonna do. Yeah,
Stephanie Slater:yeah. And I think it's gonna be super educational. Like, I think you're gonna get a lot from it. And then you'll still have our OS in yours every now and then just talking smack we still do our weekly show. Yeah. Yep, whatever. This Yeah, we've got this home search, or whatever. This is, conversations, fireside chats,
Will Slater:fireside chats.
Unknown:Oh, thanks for tuning in. Love your lady. Hi.
Stephanie Slater:Thank you for listening all the way to the end of the b&b corner brought to you by ask Lee as a way for us to say thank you. We are offering the first 50 mums a free consult and your first month's product free. All you need to do is visit escalade.co. Schedule a consult with one of our practitioners and enter the promo code BB consult. Take your first step towards personalized wellness with Escalade today