32 - Shelley McKenzie - Nutritionist & Naturopath

Shelley has been in the health industry for over 15 years. She is a Mum of 3, clinical Nutritionist and Naturopath and cohost of The No BS Approach to Motherhood Podcast.

Her journey began when she 24 years old and experience a sudden health storm within her body. She was diagnosed with a condition called Hashimoto’s, an autoimmune disease. From here she made it her mission to learn about nutrition and how she could overcome and manage this diagnoses by using the ‘food is medicine’ principles.

She now pairs her degrees with her own personal health and motherhood experiences to help her clients live a happy, healthy and well balanced life.

On todays episode you can expect to learn what to do when your child is labelled the ‘naughty kid’, why our kids need both masculine and feminine parenting styles, how to start your kids day correctly with good nutrition, everything you need to know about Hashimoto’s, including symptoms and how to manage through nutrition, plus why it’s so important to advocate for your own wellbeing, especially as a woman.

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Stephanie Slater: 0:00

And you're so open and honest with what you do and what your days look like and what you can do from a nutritional perspective and supplementation and things like that. Yeah, I think and she doesn't have a top off. So that needs context.

Will Slater: 0:18

Hello and welcome to another episode of the b2b corner. Today we are joined by the incredible Shelly McKenzie. Shelly has been in the health industry for over 15 years. She is a mom of three clinical nutritionist and naturopath and co host of the no BS approach to motherhood podcast. Her journey began when she was 24 years old and suddenly diagnosed with a condition called Hashimotos, an autoimmune disease. From here she made it her mission to learn about nutrition and how she could overcome and manage his diagnosis. By using the food as medicine principle. She now pairs her degrees with her own personal health and motherhood experiences. To help her clients have a happy, healthy and well balanced life. On today's episode, you can expect to learn what to do when your child is labelled the naughty kid why our kids need both masculine and feminine parenting styles. How to Start Your Kids Day correctly with good nutrition. Everything you need to know about how she modos including symptoms and how to manage their nutrition. Plus why it's so important to advocate for your own well being, especially as a woman. We learned so much in this episode with Shelly so sit back and enjoy.

Stephanie Slater: 1:27

Hey listeners before we jump into today's episode of the b&b corner, a quick shout out to our startup asked me if you're a mom looking for personalised nutrition that fits into your busy life. Visit escalade.co today, and stay tuned until the end for an exclusive offer just for our listeners.

Unknown: 1:47

But I was interested to ask you Macker because we've had during that seven, I had two children during COVID. So I know what we were doing. And we also had two miscarriages, which was sad, but we were It was a busy time for us. You had 83 children during COVID. So how did you and the other Mecca spend your COVID lockdown period? Well, as you can imagine, tivity and some students were here we were always asked. So do you guys own a TV? No joke. People would ask us all the time, you know that there's something called the TV. What can I say? My husband thought Well, that's very nice. I wouldn't have said that. Like my I love that. Yeah, good. You all thought your boy to flip not sure if you've ever called me. Maybe handsome. Yeah. And she handsome. Remember I am the country go. He's a bad auditor friends called makaira and walga Nowalk is the place has ended. So he has been so good. So he had a productive? He had a very productive COVID Yes, that you have three children? Three children. Three under three we had.

Stephanie Slater: 3:04

Okay, toiled wild. How was that? And how was age, I guess transition from zero to I want to two to three. Because I think for us, I couldn't say this on behalf of you and I one to two with such a weird 20 When they're 20 months apart, felt massive. But I think it was convoluted by the fact that you were working and travelling a lot. So you weren't really around. But yeah, how did you find that?

Unknown: 3:31

I always think the transition from zero to one is a really big one. Because you literally have given up like your life that you know, to have this baby. So I mean, we at the time had just moved different suburb and what have you and so that for us, we didn't feel like we were giving up a lot. But I know a lot of people do kind of feel like that zero to one is that massive transition, one to two, I think because we done it and we were so like I was very routine with my children because I was still studying my degree one of my degrees at the time. So like, I kind of had to be very routine with this sleep. And I always fell into their routine, but I would maximise my time when I could. And so and as you said it was COVID So we were kind of used to our life when we had the second and it was still COVID So we still were restricted, I guess in what we were allowed to do. And so honestly, I didn't find it too big of a transition. I think now is when our parenting is probably I don't know, I think now is where is the hardest times I've felt like I've got triplets. Yeah. You know, Audrey, my third She was then 18 months so my boys are just on 70 months apart Audrey and my middle of 18 months apart. And her again. We had just started having conversations about Will we have a third on up because we did honestly think we were to Indiana I had severe pelvic girdle pain in both of my pregnancies. So I was couch bound. Like I always kind of joke and it's not really funny about Coco melons, like parented my cheeks. And everything they know, you know, because I just I couldn't get off the couch. I was and again being in COVID We didn't have any help. So I found pregnancy really challenging and didn't think I could go back for a third time. And when we started having the conversations about maybe we'll do you know, have four, sorry, three kids under four. I was already pregnant with Audrey. So Wow. Luckily, we'd started having the conversations about bringing another edition yet but I was already pregnant. So on the way to get the snippets Okay, back, I guess what both behind I write out, like for the President and after Oh. But um, yeah, so But now Now he's when again, when Audrey was born, we were still so in that we were still in that newborn kind of phase. Like my boys never slept through the night. I didn't have children that slept or so I just feel like everything. Yeah, I don't know. It was kind of no biggie, just throwing in more babies, you know, and we were lucky enough to be able to do that. But um, yeah, there's times now where I feel like I've got triplets and they're all so reliant on us. So, you know, now my eldest van, he's at the point where he can dress himself, and he can kind of source food and things like that. Whereas, six months ago, I had three babies who still heavily relied on me, had two of them that was still in nappies. You know, none of them could get food. And it kind of just felt like I had triplets. Yeah. And I don't know what it feels like to have triplets. But that was my version of it. You know? It's like, wow, our kids are still all so dependent on us. Yeah. So that's probably been the biggest challenge for us now, is having them close together? Not so much, then. I

Stephanie Slater: 7:00

think when you're in the thick of newborn phase, it is easier just to stay in that newborn phase. Like we we've sometimes played with the idea of Do we have a third, don't we? And they're like, no, no, no, totally to and done. I think the more you come out of it, like Sebastian is four as your eldest is, yep. Or turning five. Yeah, yeah. And yeah, they're starting to have that independence dress themselves, as you said, the more that that's happening, and we all don't want to go back to like the sleepless nights a screaming child, the nappies even the Arabella still in a nappy, but you can kind of see the light at the end of the tunnel might well, do I want to like have a for you get through my eldest and youngest, like, I'm not. I mean, the longer I'm not even pregnant, I'm not pregnant. I can't really clear even, like, there's hope not. Well, we've, we've I don't know, it's, I think it's a really hard decision as well as a as parents and I think as a mum, like a closing that chapter forever. Like, are you definitely done and it does feel like the third, if you're, if you're toying with that, that's a really hard one to close the door on. Because for sure, and I've heard I've heard mums say, you never regret having it, but you regret not having it. And that that's sort of like lingers sometimes.

Unknown: 8:12

Yeah, and you know what, I think as well, like, I've got some friends, for example, who had definite two and unlike Absolutely, not an inkling of Montina third, whereas for me, I kind of like Yusef was always a little bit like, or I don't feel quite done kind of thing. And so I always knew that we would probably have our third but the benefits as well then of having an older child like so then my eldest is now turning five eight, I sometimes think oh, if we did have a baby like watching him with Audrey, his little sister, like he's very purpose driven. And when he so for example, if I say to him, can you just go and grab Audrey's nappies and do you mind grabbing the wipes and if I give him little jobs like he just thrive and the care element of him now with Audrey and I imagine him with like little babies, we've got some little cousins he's got that have just started coming and watching him it's it's really sweet. So it's that different even though there's the gap that you're not used to you get to watch your elder step into a role you've never seen them in as well. Totally. Totally. I think fostering that independence. Number four is on the way. We are done there's not an easy way to wanting another and make an announcement. You get to number four, you really got to upgrade your entire life. beater car bigger house like we die. Yeah, yeah, I like having my spare hand when it's like me and my husband. One of us has to one of us has one arm but having bought it would literally be like we have no hands in the car. You've got it like What do you mean? They the people mover you do? Yeah, like the Yeah, the side dog thing? Yeah. Then I just saw on the other night because we went to see a couples counsellor marriage therapist about what do we sell for the chair like September last year? I was We always say, When do we start? Yeah. And when we first started, it was I remember having a phone call was I was like, the good like, this is totally preventative. We're just, you know, Life is stressful. So we just want to make sure that we're all good. And then as soon as we went into that first session, it was like, Oh, holy shit, we're definitely just in this cupboard. But we've now opened the door to or we've got to deal with which was, you know, slightly stressful, but I'm glad we're working through it. But I imagine with three kids life is pretty stressful at home, like has that been on the marriage? And you guys, I mean, Mac is hot. So that's obviously helpful. The aesthetics are there. But I'm sure that there's been challenges through that period. Yeah, for sure. I think it comes down to your communication skills. And honestly, my husband doesn't have the best communication skills. It's something that he's working on constantly. Yeah, right. Right. He likes telling Gavin That he's just kind of shuts down. But he's getting better at that. But um, I don't know, I think we really do work great as a team. And I think there's definitely things that we can work on, and we get into our sticky points. For example, my eldest son, he's always been deemed the naughty kid from the His external world. And he's quite a rough child. And that is probably one of our biggest parenting challenges. Because it's, yeah, I don't know, when you've got that rough child who's constantly being called naughty from everyone, you're forever trying to change his narrative and what he believes in his belief system? And so a lot of yeah, my husband and I kind of an Yeah, get into sticky points around that. And I think the the thing for me, which I've only just come to the realisation is my husband has this beautiful way in seeing the best in our child. And so when he says to me things, like, it's just a phase, which for me, it annoys me because I'm like, Yeah, but like, how long do we say it's just a phase before? It's a problem? Like, do we put a timeline on this, or, you know, and we're obviously doing things to, to work through this. But I, I have to constantly believe that my husband seen the best in him. And I truly believe that he is, and he needs, our son needs someone that just constantly saved the best in him and has no ounce of, You're a naughty kid, which is my husband for him. So I think there's like, definitely sticky points. But I am constantly working on myself. Because I think as well, like I'm that domino effect, right? If I let too much fall down, everything falls down. And so yeah, I don't know. Like that doesn't really answer your conversation. We could definitely do couples counselling. And funnily enough, you actually posted a real Yeah, with I think your psychologist came on. Yeah. And I sent it straight to my husband. I was like, See, I had that we shouldn't do this journey. He hasn't gotten there yet. I would have loved to is fantastic. If you want an introduction, she's very, and I will, because I would love that, like I would love just to have a third party to talk about. And you know, we do lots of parenting courses and things. I don't know if you guys have heard of Dr. Becky. Yeah, yeah. So we do lots of her parenting courses, because she also has this really beautiful way of seeing the best inside of your children. And I think she when you're getting told, you need to be like seeing this therapist and need therapy for your child. It can be really overwhelming because you see so much good in them. And so Dr. Becky is great because she gives you strategies and things to help work on it. And so my husband and I like last night I got a little bit annoyed with him. Because he was on his phone in a moment where he should have been paying attention to our child. He just walked in the door he leaves at 530 in the morning. Yeah, right and so that's a bit of a sticky point for me and I just walked up the stairs and I could tell from downstairs he was on the phone I could tell he wasn't hurting you guys know what is? What is that? Then?

Stephanie Slater: 13:53

I'm sorry, we have a seat sounds like I it's like happening behind me and I can feel my blood boiling cuz I'm like, I know exactly what's happening right now. And you're not doing what you should be doing and you promise if you do that puzzle

Unknown: 14:02

truly last night, because it screams three rooms away in the lounge room and I was in the kitchen and it's like, Well what are you doing? And if

Stephanie Slater: 14:10

I didn't swear will swear I really knew I didn't swear but I said well what are you doing? And I knew he was on Instagram he was checking the DMS that we were getting because anyway side though because boundaries taking off he's like but I'm like no you said to Sebastian when he gets home you were going to do the puzzle with him and then that foot now I'm gonna I'm gonna add to anything he's he's doing this puzzle with Sebastian and Sebastian Xi'an over I want to play this balloon game. Well was like no, I'm doing the puzzle. So we'll get so invested and like the point is that the puzzle The point is the connection with your child who now have to play balloon. So play balloon and Will's like, No, I want to finish this puzzle. Dude, connected to kid. I had

Unknown: 14:50

a psychologist explain it to me one time that men have their boxes. So you put us in a box and we're in the box. Nothing outside of that box is happening like if we're in our foot The bucks were watching footy and you could walk down the, you know down the steps in your laundry and be like, Hey, Dan, want to come upstairs and be like, No, I'm watching football. That's what's going on. Or I'm with the kids. And so I'm in that kid's box all last night, I'm playing puzzles. So I'm in the puzzle box, like nothing else is going on around me. Whereas women's brains, like a whole bunch of dots, and everything's just scattered around. Yeah, you know, in a million times all at once. And there's so much happening, but we're, you know, mom walks out on boxing. I don't know if that's a lot of said, Oh, sure. Because sometimes I'm like, I'm like vans just spoken to you three times. Are you hearing this? And he's like, Oh, yeah. And I'm not. Again, like where I'm different levels that I'm hearing this unfold. You know, we literally don't hear it. Like, it's not even that we're ignoring it. It's just that I guess we are ignoring it.

Stephanie Slater: 15:48

Totally. But our our instinct is we're, it's almost like we have this visceral like connection. So we hear mum, and we just react like that. Whereas Yeah, they can sit there. Ba ba, ba, ba, ba ba. And I'm like, well, he's calling you like how many times he was doing to you this morning? Like, it's just I think it's just way wired differently. And so it is probably respecting that difference. First and foremost. But then also, that's where I think as women, I mean, I'm generalising I think but as women, we get really frustrated because we react so quickly, because we're there when they need us straight away. And we can see you just over there doing your thing. And we're like, hello, why aren't you noticing what's going on here? And so then that kind of builds up in our mental load where we start going, I'm carrying all this and you're not even and did it? And I think

Unknown: 16:35

it does. But I think it's also really important to remember that children also need both relationships. And I think we can't have two adults that just drop everything for us and hear us instantly. And because what is that then building in our child, like our children need to build patience, they need to build resilience, they need to build all these other things. And so if you had two caregivers that were constantly just like, dropping everything to be there at your every need, that also isn't going to probably be the best for that child and their overall outcome. Because when they start to go to daycare, and candies, and schools, they're with other kids for exam, there's like maybe one teacher in that school room, for example, that teacher is not going to just drop everything. So I think you really do need that human ying yang to teach our kids the skills that they need. You know, I always like to think what's like and this is a Dr. Becky, she always says, What is your, your best interpretation of that? Action, for example, so like when my child hits his siblings, for example, I'm always like, Okay, what was the what's my best interpretation of that action? And I do the same thing last night, I woke up the stairs and I'm like fire and he's like, Oh, I was just checking you're gonna love this. He's like, I was just looking at the bathtub on his phone like the the drawing plan to see where the catcher is like down the sink. And I'm like, I don't care. Do that in your own time. Like right now I keep need you. I don't care what our where our bathtub patchy, that's gonna drain, who cares? I was like phone and he's like, I'll put it away. And he put it away in a box. Right. But then my most generous interpretation of that is okay, he's remembered something that I have actually requested him to do. And he's doing it wasn't the right time. But he is actually action in something that, like, I would get annoyed if he hadn't done that in say, like two weeks. So I think that it's like, you know, you need that union Yang always in parenting, but you also need that most generous interpretation, whether it be your child's actions, your husband or your partner's actions, you know,

Stephanie Slater: 18:43

I love that I really, yeah, I really resonate with about a generous interpretation. Because this Yes, I think that happens between you and I, sometimes I get frustrated thing, but actually, you're just responding to that DM, say, from a customer because you know, that that's normally what I do, and you're trying to alleviate that. So I don't have to do it later. You know. So

Unknown: 19:04

the hot side of, you know, time. I think that's such a powerful, simple message, though, for people in relationships, whether it's relationship with cute husband, wife, just to see the best. And we all know that, like, it's such a cliche thing to say the best in people. But I think if we did more of that, like, I know, we've so much tension over just little things that it's like, we

Stephanie Slater: 19:25

get each other, we get at each other's guard a little bit, I think because we are with each other 24/7 Like, we shall have no reprieve from one another, but sometimes we'll have these niggles and instead of it just being like a hour, but yet he's trying to do so it's just this you just get on the defence and you think, Oh, why could you know you're not respecting that? I said there's no run. It's like actually no, he's just doing that because it's just trying to solve this. Very interesting and

Unknown: 19:49

he's loving you can teach your kids as well you know, because the more you practice that with each other that's then when say your son comes to you Stefan was like, Oh, Daddy did this for example. Yeah. Add that you know you'll be able to go okay well I'm really sorry that happened but you know why like and you get your kid curious as well like let's see daddy side of the so it's not saying it's right you're you're acknowledging like I'm sorry and you know I believe you that that happened yeah but then why let's have a look at this from daddy side and so think it teaches your kids yeah How does then start looking at it from another person's perspective which is also really important

Stephanie Slater: 20:27

yeah and even with the siblings I think like sometimes we do that with Sebastian or Bella he'll he'll get really frustrated Arabella last night, Arabella walked in with her umbrella. She got a new umbrella. She's obsessed with her umbrella. And she brought it inside it was a bit wet. And Sebastian's her Bella your umbrella has to go in the garage. And she's like, No, I want my brother. And he just squirt. He has got so upset because it was a rule because I think that around that for age of four, they get very much into rules as well. And we had to go over to him and like chill him out. And we were like, well, you're absolutely right there does have to go there. But why do you think Arabella wants to bring it in? It's her new toy. And then he was like, Oh, hi, Bella. Because it's wet. And then he went into this really softly spoken and it was like it was and then you say he brought in a balloon turtle like make her happy? Because we took the umbrella off her so I think it is yeah. Teaching teaching them all sides and perspective so that they have that. Yeah, generosity and how they see the world.

Unknown: 21:17

Sure, the more we practice it as adults with one another, the more it'll translate, you know, there's nothing more powerful I believe then kids witnessing

Stephanie Slater: 21:24

new are modelling total shore and I didn't like and that to which will you're gonna love this but to physical touch as well. I know. I'm well. It's very much anyone who listens to the podcast. Oh, no, he's no. Well, he's very much into like the physical touch as he's like, top love language, physical touch. And mine is more real. This basically don't exist. Yeah. Yeah. Seriously, like, it's like 90%. And then like Tim said,

Unknown: 21:50

the other day I got it, I got home, you're like, didn't you say I clean the shower, and I put away this and I was like, yeah, just give me a hug. And I'm good.

Stephanie Slater: 22:00

But I'm trying, I noticed that because I come from a broken family. And so that was modelled to me. And I thought I don't want my children to not see loving that. Not that I didn't say love my mom is amazing. But you know, people hugging and kissing and like these into beautiful, yeah, intimacy and just connection. Like, I want them to see this connection. So I'm really trying to model I'm trying, I'm getting better. But you know, I try like will will stop me mid dinner and try and hug me and I used to be like, I just I'm just cooking dinner, like, Give me a minute. And now I'm like, I try and pause and the murderer I hug will in front of the kids or I like kiss him properly. Because they have this thing where they want kisses off. And I'm like you never wipe a kiss off. And I used to do that too well, so I'm like they don't. So sometimes it'll be like a sloppy chest and they leave it on, leave it on Don't wipe the face, which is very clear serve as a walk away. As soon as the kids aren't. But do you find anything like that around? Yeah,

Unknown: 22:53

and the biggest motivation for that, that physical touch is the next time we'll come and hugs you is look at the kids. And they'll just be looking at you with this big smile like Mac is a little bit the same, like loves to go cuddle and everything and I could do really, you know, like, I I'll look at my kids and they'll just be sitting there beaming up watching us, you know, so yeah, for sure. So you're accepted through gritted teeth. I know that I now I love it. I think now I love it because of them. Yes. Like you know I can see them and how impactful it is for them. I'll never forget my nephew is from a broken family and MACRA and I used to have him a lot when he was little like you know one, what have you. And I'll never forget this day Micah and I are in the kitchen we just woken up and he'd woken up as well. And I was in there with him and maca came in and just gave me this big cuddle. And I remember my nephew just kind of and like his parents had separated when he was like two weeks old. So he hadn't seen a mum and dad even in the kitchen like except for us, right? And I remember just looking at him. And he just looked at us and he it took him a long time to kind of process what was happening and we just kept cuddling, looking at him. And eventually he just walked over and cuddled us too. And I was just like, ah, you know, he hasn't seen that he hasn't witnessed that in his own home but it's just those moments that are just so important and yet if you look at your kids you'll never not want to give each other a cuddle just for their sake again, you know, that's beautiful. I should also like I am not a child psychologist you know I'm just a mom I have a regular listens of regular listeners of this show know that we talk a lot of stuff without necessarily as a formal trade again,

Stephanie Slater: 24:39

say without Chinese doctor the other day we were talking about withdrawal methods and things so we go everywhere. But I think that's really I mean obviously when I go into like your area of expertise and things like that, but Jess can't people just can't she's a kiwi girl who's married to a row I think like rugby player or something right? Yeah, help her out. She's you know, but she seems lovely. You know as we As if we know them. But she has three children. And she just shared this rule the other day, and it was her and her husband, hugging. And then she said, it's this beautiful moment. Now when the kids see that they run over, they go family hug, and then it becomes this like a family thing. And so every like, they love these moments. So they really instigate them, they'll hug and then the fact that kids will run over and I just thought, wow, that is just so beautiful. Because, yeah, there'll be a time where your kids don't want to hug you or they don't want to have a bar view. And then you got to find each other again, I think also, we talk about that a lot. Like, let's not lose us in parenting, because we only have us because they will we want them as hard as it will be to go off and spread their wings. So you can't hold on to them and give all your love to them and neglect each other. No,

Unknown: 25:42

because Sure. Again, it's that domino effect, right? Yeah, just by YouTube's still hugging you still, even if you're doing it for them initially. You're still getting that connection, as well, even if it's for them, which Yeah, yeah. But it's um, yeah, it's all these little things that then translate to when they're not in your care as well. Which for me is like the biggest thing with our eldest van is him been deemed this naughty kid. I just like inside our home, I just try to keep it this safe, warm, a hug. Like in general, our household, right? I'm always trying to like de shame our household and make it like, and like he'll do things. And his Sundays don't get me wrong, where I just lose it. Like if I've watched him hit his siblings all day long for No, no real reason that I can see, this is where that generous interpretation comes in. Because when I actually stop and like, reflect on it might know, he's a good kid. And I can see something behind it, you know? Yeah. But yeah, I think like all that hugging, and just the love and everything that you give inside your family home, will eventually translate and make them a stronger person. We've also started doing us all this beautiful real and it was a lady who's got five children, I believe in her fifth was had Down syndrome. And she does these daily mantras with her child. And so we've started doing that as well as we're driving. Today care, all the kids cycle, repeat, repeat after me. And it's like, I am strong, I am brave, I am kind I am carrying. And we do the little motions with that. And they all repeat, because I'm just like, all these things, all these little habits that we could do now will translate to that bigger picture.

Stephanie Slater: 27:18

So yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. You do that? We should do it a bit. Well, we all I think we're very good at reinforcing our children and reinforcing that really positive narrative because it does break my heart when you talk about man and he has all this external dialogue around his behaviour. And that defining him because I'm going into like my teacher hat now, as a secondary school teacher, you know, I saw so many boys in particular, either misdiagnosed or diagnosed, and then that label defining them and then them not knowing who they are because they will just always the naughty kid that now is diagnosed ADHD and that's who I am as I just get kicked out of class and it breaks your heart because behind all of that, they're just this insecure soft boy who's been broken and beaten because they've been told you don't fit in and because you can't sit and listen and who the hell wants to sit for six hours and just listen, I don't like as a secondary school teacher in class. I was like, I'm bored. Let's move let's go let's go in the basketball court. So I think that is our primary role as parents to hold our children remind them of their worth beyond what society is going to tell them because society will break them down because societies were progressing so rapidly in one area but then how we actually treat our children and raise them and renew them and that kind of thing is it's just miles away.

Unknown: 28:32

Do you see any impact on him already? So we we have yet yeah, yeah, I for sure. We're going through a sticky patch now so this is normally when I call him i kinesiology just as well we've got a session booked for the weekend and she really noticed a huge shift in Van when we see our kinesiology so she works via if you have ceded them, she can work through you on your children. So yeah, I'm not what does it mean? So if you if they if you've ceded their meaning, you know, you have growing them and birth them. Yeah, she can actually tap in to them via me. So I use her for things like vans behaviour, Lenny's tantrums, all that even if they're sick, like colds and flus like and she she's very woowoo and I can send you details in case anyone says I want that. Yeah, cuz she's also she's a little bit like even though we times that she's like, Oh, I don't normally pick up on Audrey, my youngest bit. She's congested. Like she's got a bit going on in clear all that. And no joke the next day like Audrey will wake up and be clear. So she's very intuitive as well. She just does it via phone call. It's unbelievable. Yeah, wow. Yeah. To some part of the process at all, or literally just works on you when they work. So me through them. I have the kids with me five days a week and so often I am doing these calls when I'm with her, and I'll put her on loudspeaker point. incent she'll go van, let me chat to you. And she'll chat to Van about different things. So for example, I started using her because van was also a night terror kid. So we had really full on night terrors with van. And the only thing we eventually worked out, the only thing that would break those night terrors was, we would pick him up out of his bed in the middle of one take into the car. And we do the exact same driving route, which was about five minutes. And I think what would happen is he just became really aware of his surroundings, and we'd pop him back into his bed, we'd lay there with him for a little while and you drift off to sleep and then not terrorists would be gone. If we didn't do that driving route. In like, it could be 3am, for example, or if we say his night terrors could start as early as nine because my kids go to bed, seven 730. And if we didn't do it at nine o'clock, it would go on every hour. Like he would just have another night terror until eventually I was like, I'm just gonna put him in the car. And that just kind of your way quit. I put him in the car. By the time I get into the car, he's awake in the fresh air, like it's kind of woken him. And he will just sit there and we don't talk. They do not say word radios not on like no speak in between us until I put him back in his bed. And yeah, anyway, so that was working with us. But I remember and this is where the podcast no BS was born, because I remember when Lenny was. He was like 17 months, I must have been a month off birth in Audria. Third, Lenny was going through this period where he would not we could not get him to sleep unless we drove him around. So some nights I'd be in the car for like two hours driving him to get him to sleep. I transfer into his bed at work. We tried to settle him again, the whole thing started again and I'd be back in the car driving. And I remember there was nights where like I'm heavily pregnant, eight months pregnant. Maca is getting van to sleep. I'm driving linear around and I was just crying. I was so overwhelmed. And like, how does it third fit into this picture? So I guess you know, going back to that transition, this was like, be big in our parenting because we will add, we're going to be outnumbered. And how does this all? Yeah, if we're driving with wine, and we've got a newborn who needs to be fed. And then we've got van as well like what happens here? So we're driving linear around that was really exhausting. And then the knights would come and Van would terror most nights. So then I'd be up again wee hours of the morning enough. I go because again, my husband's in a sleep box. And doesn't he? We're pretty solid sleepers that we need. Oh, actually. And so what was I saying about that? Oh, yeah. So I remember just getting to this point where I was like, I need something I need to do something. I didn't know what we tried a few different things. And in the end, I found these kinesiology through a friend and then had been trying to communicate so by this point, he's like two and a half and he'd been trying to communicate in the mornings what he'd seen just via conversation, I'd be like all What did you dream about last night, and I could never quite pin it. And then these friends like wait and try Kinesiology. So I called this kinesiology test. She worked on me for three hours. And by the way, we've got a two story house, my kids would never go upstairs on their own ever. So there was something about going upstairs where they just would not go up there unless someone was there, which also got really exhausting because other bedrooms up there or their bedrooms are upstairs. And you know, in a small inner city space, I kind of need all the space I can get because I often need to separate them but if they just wouldn't, it was just something about going upstairs. And then when I saw sue the Kinesiology she started for three hours worked on me and started visualising and telling me what Ben had seen she's and it was like a Viking shivers, right. It was like this Viking and Van had always tried to like he was talking about a helmet. And he was always talking about like the stick. And he'd say little things. And she was like, Oh, he's been here and like this past life. And this might be a bit woowoo I don't know, but I love some listeners soda last year. And so yeah, she was just kind of explained like he's been here in this past life. And he's holding all this stuff. And honestly, after that, I just noticed the biggest shift. So I remember still being on the phone call with Sue at this point. And she's like, you know, might take a few days for your household to settle and everything. And I was like, also, I can tell you right now like my child has just walked up. He's sitting on his bunk and he's reading a book on his own upstairs. He just literally walked up the stairs, hopped on his bunk and read a book. Like my kid doesn't sit still standard what is first time it first time he's ever gone upstairs on his own. And I was just like, whoa, you know, like that. Like, you know, some people will be like, Oh my God, it's coincident. Like I don't see how it is something had shifted. And so that was where that on whether it's a coincidence or not is irrelevant, like rockers who had lifted it and he went upstairs for the first time without me like, and so yeah, we've used that a lot to help with the night terrors and With all of those kinds of things and can't really remember up, so we were chatting about, yeah, that naughty kids are I do find the biggest shift when we see the Kinesiology test. And yeah, and it's kind of like a pretty instant shift, I feel. And again, maybe it's placebo or not, I don't care, because I'm also karma. Like, she drops me into this deep meditation. So it works for me in a positive way as well as him. But yeah, I mean, you know, he's very conscious and aware, now he's almost five, I've been told that they don't learn the self control skills until they're like six or seven. So holding out hope. But you know, like a year ago, for example, or even six, like last winter, he would have we would go to say in winter, we often go to science works like as a rainy day activity, he would go there and honestly, if like kids stole his, whatever he was playing with, it would just be like a whack straight off the bat. We went there a couple of weeks ago. And I said to my husband after this is the first time where, like, kids were knocking over all the stuff he had built, and he was getting upset, but it was controlled. Wow. And instead of like acting out with his hands, he was actually coming to me upset. And we were then able to work through it. Like I said to my husband last winter, it's kind of a shitshow, to the point where I was like, Oh, I don't think I can come here anymore. You know. So we definitely have seen improvements. But it's hard. I mean, yesterday, I had a very intentional, we have a one on one day on a Thursday. So he's off to school next year. And I know that these kinds of kids need more one on one time. And in our household. As you can imagine, there's not a lot of that going on. So I put the little ones in to daycare, and I have van on a Thursday, and it's very in a very intentional day. So yesterday, it's like, what do you want to do on our mommy? Van De you wanted to bake cookies, he wanted to play construction. And so baking cookies and stuff, that was awesome. And then when we were doing construction, it's just my time to kind of sit there with them. And we chat about all kinds of stuff like oh, you know, yesterday when we were at Scienceworks, and you got a little bit frustrated when that kid you know, I'm like, I'm really proud of you that you did X, Y and Zed. If you did that a mummy wasn't there. What do you reckon you do next time like I am we try to like problem solve in that calm moment. And yesterday, we even got up and I was like, you know, sometimes you want to use your hands. He's like, Yeah, and I'm like, let's replace that with a different action. And it was all about using again, this is all Dr Becky's stuff it was all about using replacing the motion with the opposite. So instead of leaning forward and hitting, you jump back and cut. And so yesterday, we did a lot of that we were like pretending to get frustrated and they were jumping back and I was like falling over and he was laughing. And you know last night I went and got Lenny and Audrey and it was a fucking shit show in our house. And I was like, ah, all that intentional time today practising and it had cooked cookies for them. It brought them to their kinder and then we got home it was like this tornado here. And then we'll laying in bed and I was like what happens tonight dying. That's when bang kind of talks and reflects on his day. And he's like, pretty sad mummy as soon as we went and got Lenny started hitting. I was like, Yeah, buddy, you did. So yeah, I've got a pretty sad heart now. And I was like, Oh, darling. And I was like an awareness though. I know. And I was like, What can we do so that you have a happy heart? Like, I'm really going to try harder tomorrow, we're going to try that jump back. And I was like, Okay, so that's what I mean, like a year ago, that awareness was in there. And this is where seeing that good in your child. Because when he goes to kinder, they don't get to have those moments with him. So I know through and through my kid has good and you know, we went we've gone through a lot with him in these we've lost our closest friends, because if vans roughness towards their child, and we've lost all of our friendship group, essentially in our suburb because of this. And so I guess as well that's where MACRA and I like really unite as that team, because it's bloody hard when you've got that kid. And so we kind of have to stay strong for him as well. Yeah, well, I went on a bit of a tangent and I just

Stephanie Slater: 39:04

but I can't help but and again, maybe it's just my background, but I just can't help but think and you're not doing as I think what you're doing for van is amazing. But this expectation that a four year old a three year old should be able to control their behaviour blows my mind, their brain is not developmentally at that point. And yet we're going all they couldn't control their behaviour so they lash it out. You took my toy that I love you crushed my building that I built. I don't like it, push that's what I know how to do. That's my visceral response and to have this expert and then to say you're such a naughty boy like I know sometimes Sebastian, we probably I think women Listen to me, but I think we have really strong boundaries within but at the same time we do allow I do allow for like, quite a lot of grey with him because I'm like you're a child. Like sometimes you might be saying you know, you'll get frustrated because it's like, why can't it like he's just so illogical or whatever it might be of course he is. Yeah, because that's what his brains out like to expect more from him. Like yesterday morning he was having a tantrum. And it was about I make these you know, these banana peanut butter chocolate, little frozen things. And anyway it's like this little healthy treat that they think has chocolate so they love it and didn't have enough chocolate that particular one don't. He's screaming he's lazy and he was just he's just seemed off from the moment he woke up. And you were getting you didn't wake up early. So again, listeners will know if we all doesn't wake up early. He's like not in the best mood. And coke because he likes to you like to just be feel accomplished before the kids get up. If you get up with the kids. You go. I feel like I'm on the backfoot Yeah, yeah, I yeah, I get that too. But so So you were a bit off. Sebastian was off. And I anwil was getting really frustrated and a few times and when I say yell just spoken like loudly at him. And I said, Well, he's dysregulated you are not regulating him. You're dysregulated you know, it like exacerbating his dysregulation. So either regulate yourself or leave. And like let's just work out what's going on because there's more trees. And he just sat on me and cuddled. And he was like, mummy, cuddle cuddle, I just want to cuddle. And at first I was like, Dude, we need to go home. But I just sat with him and held him. And I was like, What's going on, buddy? Like, you're a bit off? You know, your feelings? Like,

Unknown: 41:06

I don't know, Mommy, I

Stephanie Slater: 41:07

just I just wanted a bit more trachoma. That's okay. Well, we've got this one. And we'll just say, Do you want this? Or should we put it away? Because these are your choices. So it wasn't giving him more triggers? Like we've got this one, I put one extra in that you can have that or not, you don't have to. But this is what it is sweeter. And it was like just speaking in that calm or Wait, that doesn't make him naughty. That doesn't mean he's a psycho key that tangent is over chocolate. Okay, you wanted it like so I just think that and this goes on, this really does go on because again, even in secondary school, I think kids are just we we as adults want them to fit in our world in the way we approach life as 30 something year old, 40 something year olds, and it's likely they're not going to do that and allow them to explore what that feels like as well. Especially

Unknown: 41:48

I'm super routine driven. And so obviously, kids don't work, I mean, sleep routine. But just because you want to get out of the house at eight o'clock doesn't mean your two toddlers want to get out of the house at eight o'clock. So that's an adjustment. But I just resonate so much with what you were saying because we went through. I don't even know if I've really spoken about this. But we went through with Sebastian, where we were sort of a bit the same that we got put into childcare, he was being too rough with the other kids. And he's quite shy, and then would sort of lash out a little bit of kids. And there was always sort of this discussion between us like, is there more to it? Do we think there's something wrong with him, and we kind of made a decision, like over Christmas, we said, fact that we're not going to just even contemplate that as an option. Over eyes that someone will speed you suggest we go and see a child psychologist and take him along. And we were like, no, he's a three and a half year old at this stage, nearly four year old, whatever he's going to be he's gonna be we're gonna love him and support him almost, you know, similar to what you guys are doing. And I would say from when we made that decision, until now, his chat, his behaviour has changed significantly. And it might be because of what you're talking about seeing the good and giving him the confidence and demonstrating to him that we love him for who we used, irrespective of the behaviour and the external noise. And that's allowed him to feel some level of comfort and ease and then he's sort of grown into his emotions and can analyse a little bit bigger motion. That's been a big learning for me,

Stephanie Slater: 43:15

I think that can create such fear in them that if I'm exploiting like this, and you're turning away as my mum or dad, then I'm bad. Something's wrong with me. So I'll either not show that emotion ever again. And so therefore repressed and projected in some other way. very unhealthy. Or I'll push you away because I think you're not safe for me now. So it's even just, I'm here, buddy, like Scream, punch, do what you need to do. I'm not condoning it. I'm not saying you know, yeah. But I'll sit here and I'll I'm here when you're ready. And I love you. And I love you even in all of that. And I remember he said something like that, where he? I said to him, you know, I love you so much even when you're an adult and he said, even when I'm yelling, you still love me instead. Of course, I still love you. When you're like I don't like that you're doing it? Because I love you. You know. So they are it's yeah.

Unknown: 44:02

He's had the weld down for just letting go of it. Because it's also really hard to let go of everyone else's expectation. You guys will love this thing was the hardest part. It is like it means candy the other day they rang me and they're like, moms come home and put a formal complaint in about van because she's got a bruise on her lower back and the child said that van kicked her, but no educators witnesses. And I said, Okay, well, there's that you're actually very attentive educators. So I find it really hard to believe that Yvan kicked her and really hurt her that no one else was aware of this in your play space for starters. But also I'm like, no one knows that situation. Like maybe it was an accident. Maybe like who knows. But it just I was like, Okay, and so what's your solution? No, I bewildering in to find out what you want the solution to be. And I said he's in your care. Like We do what we do at home, but like, you need to come to me with a solution. So their solution was to get a field officer to come out and watch van's behaviour to see what his triggers are, because they can't figure it out, even though I've told them what his triggers are. And on Wednesday, they were keeping an incident report form or running incident report form on every little and big thing. So I get this email Wednesday night, and it's got like 10 incidences there. One was like him swearing, like, he could have dropped to something and said, Fuck, you know, like, but it was him swearing, what had like, some of them were hitting for sure. Like, I'm not condoning these behaviours at all. But it was like, okay, that's what you you're doing for my child, and then you've sent it to me, which then just adds this lever level of pressure to me, because I'm like, all of these things are happening. And I'm not saying that it's okay. But yeah, I didn't know it was just it's so then he's there today. So instantly, I'm like, a little bit anxious. And I've been really trying to hence our very day yesterday, but I've been really trying not to portray any of that onto him for today, and just trying to stay in my own lane. And I'm like, I'll be interested to see what I sent me today. But I'm gonna have to after today, I've already decided Stop sending me these emails, I do not need to see them.

Stephanie Slater: 46:19

Well, then what Bice is that like, So what they're going out through our role, our primary role today is to see what he does wrong, so that they can report back, which is awful, because if you did that with any child, you're going to find things that they are doing, rather

Unknown: 46:32

than body as if someone was watching you every day. Oh, you did this. You did this. Theory Slee. So this is where it's like, out of a four year old, right? And so I'm just like, I don't even know where to go with this now, because that what their solution was for me. And I'm just like, how does it impact you? Well, I get nervous and stressed. And this is where like cutting out everybody else's expectations. Like I find really challenging. So that's why I'm like, kudos for you to be able to do that because, and my husband's great at being able to do that as well. He's like very much we stick in our own lane. But then like, I'm the one who gets the phone calls. And normally in a in a Kindle setting. It's if it's above the head, then you get Yeah, but I remind them, like when they rang me about this formal, I actually cried like on the phone without signs. And I just started crying. Because I was so overwhelmed. And then when I sat with that, I rang them back the next day and like for Mama mode, and I'm like no. And I reminded them that my child then also came home with a bite mark that took four days to heal on his shoulder. So I said you've made it out. And they would say I think you need like an OT or child psychologist. And I'm like you're making it out. Like my kid is the worst kid in the world when I know he's not like, I know he's not. And they're telling me in the same day, he did here. But he also then went and wrote a card and gave it to that child to apologise. And I'm like, Okay, well, let's look at what's happening here. Because it's bigger than just that action. Yeah, you know. So I'm upset. Like, he's a narcissistic kid that can't understand the empathetic aspect to it and reflect like you say he does, there's no more immediately going, like all that empathy is there. It's there, you know. And so yeah, it's a really hard one. But I think what you're saying about like just blocking out the external world, like I have to, I have to work really hard on doing that. And that will probably be a lot of what my kinesiology appointment will be as well. But yeah, I wanted to get today's incident report form, so that I've got a start in place, because if they continue to do it, I want to be able to show them. This is where he started. And this is where we are now because in six months time, it's going to be different. And I can't see that from six months ago. But yeah, I don't know. And I think losing a lot of our friendship groups and things over this as well. It actually it wasn't actually about van and his actions, it was classed childhood trauma for one of the dads, but they were the key holders for our network in our local community. And it was past trauma that was triggering for him. And so I can see that, but yeah, it's kind of like, it's impacted us beyond and then doesn't understand now why he doesn't see his little besties anymore. And, you know, like it's, yeah, it's like it's it's bigger, you know, we don't often is that it's our shit that we reflect on to our kids that becomes we make up like it's their problem. And we've, I would say that's the majority of the work we've done with our counsellor is trying to unpack our staff and why we feel the way we feel. I don't know that was for me the the frustration and the anger that I was, you know, releasing onto Sebastian when he wasn't doing things the way I wanted to do him to do the roaming. Four year old four year old liked, of course, and that's what Stephanie has been amazing at just, he's a kid like, he's going to do things that toddlers are going to do. I think it's stigma a while just totally different circumstance, but the relevance is just that we, we put all our own shit onto our kids, and it's so unbelievably unfair on them. And until we can sort our stuff out. It really preventable certainly for me anyway, so we got about a half it's prevented me from being able to be the parent that I want to be because I'm carrying my own shit that I need to sort out and understand today's episode is brought to you by Escalade, our very own health tech startup that's redefining wellness for moms. If you're trying to juggle everything in life, like oh, yeah, and want a simple and easy way to stay on top of your health. This is for you. Imagine a daily scoop of wellness crafted based on your unique health needs and delivered right to your doorstep. askeleen makes it easy with bespoke supplements tailored to your needs. Ready to transform your health visit escalade.co and book a brief consult with one of our health practitioners stay tuned until the end of this episode for an exclusive offer. Asked I made just for you.

Stephanie Slater: 51:06

My I was just gonna say I don't think I'm amazing at it. I just think I have a psych degree. And I think I'm like I think I just understand a lot of development. I think that that helps. And I am a quite a maternal person. So I think you know, naturally in that way but I don't think it's because I'm I'm not waiting by the way that was willpower and definitely is. But I'm sad and for you and obviously I don't know the story and I'm sorry that you had to experience this loss of a friendship group and a network because they can become your village especially if you are from you know, out of town and you don't have your people around you and it saddens me that in a situation like that again, I don't want to say too much I don't know but that someone who has that kind of history is unable to disconnect from that and sort of put the children as this and this is my experience and I'm not going to because he he therefore is taking away from the experiences of that their child let alone van and that saddens me that that as adults we can't discuss that we you know, we like my brother and I we parent very differently very differently and some things in common but some things really differently and if it got to a point where he was like I don't like what your son is doing or something I would hope that he and I can talk about that doesn't mean like the cousins are gonna stop seeing each other and it doesn't mean that my son's bad because you know Sebastian is really rough and sometimes he gets really into another thing Oh, and I don't always stepping so I'm like I very much believe in kids court and like you know you sorted out and I'll stupid if I need to. And sometimes I find myself overstepping when I'm with them because I think oh, that's probably what they want. That's not really what I would do though. But I think it will just come to a point where I would hope I could talk to him rather than just avoid because what you can you just avoid every situation that causes that triggers you like, that doesn't work. I

Unknown: 52:52

know right? And I like again, this is where maca was really great at like, oh, well they just like not our people. Yeah. And I was like, Don't bet he can just like cut off like that. Sounds like Yeah, right. And it was just like they don't have ego and I was like you were literally the footy week in Waco. But okay. But the other the other thing that I tried to do is also like Van is a very influenced child. So like when with older cousins and stuff, he's like language and everything changes for like a good week after until we've kind of reregulated what our family does versus another. But um, I always believe as well that every child comes into your child's world for a reason. So for example, van and his friend, I always just had the belief that this child was in vans world to help bring out his sensitive side because he was a very beautiful, sensitive child. And I always believed that van was in his world to help bring out that, I guess, sturdiness, and, you know, that protective kind of sight as well. And so, I've always tried to look at that within the kids relationships because again, once they get into school and stuff that's no longer out of that's out of your control, and you can go down this whole rabbit hole of worry which I try not to do too much of in situations that are out of my control. So it's like okay, well what is this child here to teach my child and then I can help him get to that point as well. You know, like, if we don't do what he does, but you know, blah blah, blah, whatever. You know what it is? I love that totally. Anyway, it's bloody hard work. I was gonna anyway, Shelley's a clinical nutritionist, naturopath. I was actually going to segue I think it's actually a good segue maybe we get out of the psychology when I'm gonna slow you down when you possibly qualified to be able to talk on it either degree. Segue into an area that we've got a little bit more expertise, Washington say way where you've got a little bit more access. Because I think it's I think it's super interesting. And we've been we've been speaking with a lot of people who are like yourself experts in nutrition and other areas. And we've done a lot to change the food that we give our kids, especially in the morning, you know, away from sort of carbs and empty carbs to, you know, more protein and warmer foods, but I'm interested with as even relates to your sunlight, how, how impactful or what impact do you think nutrition can have in emotional regulation and behaviour? Is there? Is there a sort of correlation there? And is that something you're focused on? Yeah, look, I think it's not a it's not a key focus only because it's how we eat, like, say he starts his morning with eggs every single morning. And if he does choose something like porridge, it's full of all the hemp seeds, and chia seeds and protein and all the things. So that just comes very natural to me. But I think when we think about a child's behaviour, 100% Sugar is a key player. And if you're starting your child on something with no protein in it, that is like a sugary cereal, or even just like, I don't want to say, you know, WeetBix, for example, are just such a staple in a lot of houses. It's not that they're bad. There's also not a lot of substance in there for that child. So again, if we're thinking about triggers, like I know if my kids hungry, that is a trigger. And he's still learning that within himself. And so if he gets to the point of hunger, he starts like losing control, you know, he meant trigger is in that hunger will trigger a trigger response. Yeah. And so, for me, it's very much about he needs to have like a good protein, fat based breakfast and a lot of his meals will be that and I definitely watch how much sugar is coming into their diets as well. So for example, they were at their Nana and pars on the weekend because hubby and I had a weekend to ourselves, and you know, when you've got to get out, but I've also like when you've got like, kids you do you because you're not me and yeah, like whatever. So you know, the band said to me on the phone are bad. A lot of ice criminal law cookies, mommy, like my tummy is sore. And I was like, I go back. And you know, it's that combination of also being overtired. And all the rest of it, but definitely for days to come like there was like a comedown, you know, from that. So I think, yeah, I think we need to look at the sugar for sure. And then we'll start looking at their macronutrients and your protein and your fat to your best bang for your buck for your kids just to help keep them stabilised in terms of their hunger, but then also their moods because they're not getting that blood sugar rush, which is kind of like that blood sugar rush comes in a child sometimes doesn't know how to regulate that. So it you know, outsells it.

Stephanie Slater: 57:37

Yeah. Yeah. And I think and I've said this is probably a third time I've said this but in podcasts but I think it's okay if you're giving the WeetBix if you fill it with all the chia seeds, hemp seeds, you know, peanut butter, or maybe a bit of butter, nut butter, you know, like a fat and a protein or whatever it is. I just, I always become very conscious of mums in particular listening to whether it's our podcasts are someone else's podcasts. Oh my gosh, I need to go and do this this and this are my grocery bill needs to suddenly become this expensive because and you can do like I've found because I've just reintroduced breakfast, I eat breakfast now you should never eat breakfast. I feel so much better for it. And I never thought I would but I'm like, Babe, I need my exit. But it eggs is quicker than me probably making my cereal because we crack it in the pan, fry it, mix it into a scrambled and I eat it like that. That's also Yeah,

Unknown: 58:28

that's easy. Oh, like Do you know another really simple hack is if you're doing like a porridge to a stovetop and just crack an egg into a toy and whisk it around. You know, I mean, and this is a thing like Sunday's your kids are going to just have whatever like no joke. I got my kids out the door because I needed to be here by bribing them with a cookie this morning. Yeah, that's how I got my cookies yesterday. And I was like, Okay, if we all fall into line, you can have one of them in the car. You don't want to give them sugar later today. So that's how I got my kids into the car, you know, like but they'd had a nice breakfast prior. So none of us are perfect weeks is a great quick option for a lot of parents but you know, you can get something like the neutral organics like protein powder for kids like the thriving families, which is just a teaspoon into your child's milk. Yeah, done. Is it bad to give them like a whey protein when they're young? Is that to be avoided? Because I've only started pulling like a little teaspoon now you do

Stephanie Slater: 59:22

it because Sebastian sees you make a protein shake and he wants the protein fat and to the point where really big muscles. Yeah, but he Hawkeyes you like he'll be like you didn't put the protein powder and so Will's been putting like a teaspoon just to be like it's in there and he chases like, not not in there. And we're like it didn't now we promise so we've

Unknown: 59:39

got a high concept quite a high quality like whey protein isolate so it's very good quality because that bad to be giving them I was about to say quality is obviously important but then you also want to make sure that it's not too much teaspoons fine. Yeah, you're gonna be giving them a scoop that's too much for their digestive system but a teaspoon is fine. I give my kids that whenever they're having some sort of cereal based, you know, something you put a little bit in. I guarantee the day will come with So, PA, you have a big orange grip and I wanted to get a look at that. But that's good to know the neutral organics. What was it thriving grabbing protein, it's just a family friendly, safe in pregnancy. So I get a lot of my mother's like using it in their own food to put it in their kids as well. Okay,

Stephanie Slater: 1:00:16

we'll link to that. And I also really want to link Suzanne, is it sue the Kinesiology? Oh my god, I'm like, really excited about that. But anyway, so we will link the things that we talked about in the show notes as well. And

Unknown: 1:00:25

Dr. Becky, I think that we met. And so does that. Does that impact you and your husband as well, like I mentioned, obviously, you guys eat pretty well given that you're a nutritionist. But do you see if you guys have a period where you don't eat well, that it impacts emotion in the family and the family? It's not vibing the way it normally would? Yeah, for sure. I mean, if I think about my day to day, how he's pretty good, like he meal preps and all the rest of it. And as I said, like he works long hours Monday to Friday, so but like if there's days where I've woken up and just had coffee, for example, instead of eating breakfast, like, I can definitely feel more heightened in terms of my nervous system. So I think food goes a really long way. And I think if we think about parents, and just they're getting out the door every day in that rush, it is very much keyed focused. And we do forget about ourselves a lot. And of course, that is going to impact even from like a repossession, like a nutrient depletion versus replacement point of view. Like if you're all of sudden getting to lunchtime. And you know, you mentioned said have you just started eating breakfast, like fasting is a very kind of trendy thing, not saying that that's why you were doing it. But it isn't actually, it isn't great for a lot of people, particularly women with very hormonal creatures, like we need food. And so I was gonna say, I'm pretty sure I've read that there are studies that suggest that it's can be quite beneficial for men, especially from a weight loss perspective. But for women, it's strongly discouraged. Yeah, and I think there's certain times in the cycle, perhaps that might be better. I don't know, I'm not in the fasting world, because it's not something that I promote. But knowing Yeah, like males aren't hormonal creatures we are. And I think most women will agree when they put food first before coffee, they feel better, like just from an anxiety point of view, most men too, particularly if you are in that morning kind of rush. And I always just say like eat we kids eating, I can, even if it's three scoops of their breakfast, like ideally, we want to get to a point where you're sitting down and having a meal, because that is also really impactful for your whole family dynamic and your children's eating habits. But if at the start sometimes like my morning looks like I've just eaten the scraps out of one of my kids bowls, before I hop in the car with them all and that's okay. But then, after I've dropped them off, I'm making sure I'm having a meal. If it's a day where I've got the kids we are, I try not to have that rush. Like I tried to just let them be and if we leave the house that day, we leave the house. But um, I tried to kind of like sit down and actually prioritise a meal. And that might be a little bit later, I might have to get them into like their play and into that space first. And then I have that opportunity of five minutes sit down make a meal. But yeah, I mean, your food's huge. You need it for survival.

Stephanie Slater: 1:03:17

Yeah. And you really liked and we mentioned this before, we were talking outside of the recording, but about if you come from depletion, and then try to like, probe into rotation, but you were saying with pregnancy and how I was like, wow, you've had three kids in such a quick time and I thought mine was close. And I suffered this, that and the other and you were sort of talking about? Well, if you're depleted obviously then try and go back in and carry and that sort of thing. Can you talk to me about what most war Do you see? Because you specialise in pregnancy, fertility and pregnancy and postpartum? Yeah,

Unknown: 1:03:48

and postpartum? Yeah. Yeah, so I guess and this is where a lot of families are having a lot of women are choosing to have their babies later on. And so then we are kind of going like bang, bang, bang, if if we're lucky enough to be able to do that and choose to do that. And so we know that pregnancy is a very depleting state. And then if you come in off the back of that into then breastfeeding, for example, like that is also going to deplete you perhaps have different nutrients so so in pregnancy, buy in like it is so common for women to be depleted in their own stores during pregnancy, among other things, but that low iron in pregnancy can then translate to postpartum anxiety and depression. So that's were working with a woman, ideally in her fertility window to get her nutrients up. So then no matter what first trimester, we can kind of write it off as a survival you know, it's not the time to really be focusing in on your nutrients for a lot of women, some women kind of cruise through that, but a lot of women it's not the time. So if we've had that opportunity prior to conception, fabulous, if not, second trimester is really where we're going to get bang for our buck. Hopefully not so symptoms like nausea and fatigue and all that kind of past. But um, yeah, looking at your bloodwork more frequently than what is common in the Western world. So normally something like iron from second trimester, I'm looking at that every four weeks. Wow. Whereas sometimes when you're only seeing an OB, for example, you might have it looked at three times and then just put on like, a high dose, you know, era ground. Yeah. Oh, pharmacy say that fired? Yeah, like, a high. Yeah, but you know, that I and we know, our body can't, can't process 100 milligrammes of iron in in one setting. And so therefore, it causes that adjustive issues like the constipation and things like that. And so, really looking at an eye, a woman's eye and picture every four weeks during pregnancy, we can see the trends start to happen when it starts to go down, for example, and we can get onto that a lot quicker and put together a bit more of a, an action plan. And it's all for the sake of that postpartum period as well. And to keep the mother nice and repeated. Even if her ion stores are low. We're still trying to prevent that postnatal depression and anxiety. And I think in the Western world, that correlation even though the research is there between low end and postnatal depression, and anxiety still isn't there, which blows me away. And so yeah, like I think pregnancy is all about, obviously, baby's going to be storing you know, Vitamin D is another one that can play into that postnatal depression, sorry, depression and anxiety, baby storing enough vitamin D for the first 12 weeks of its life, its soon enough iron for the first six months of its life. And so that's why in wall in utero, you become really depleted, well, babies in utero, because of that depletion that's occurring babies storing its nutrient, then when Bob's born, you know, they'll, they'll naturally be some blood loss or whatever your birth is, we also want to be able to make sure that if say, blood loss has occurred, and maybe more than the normal, you're again, not falling down into that real depleted state, because not only does it play into the postnatal anxiety and depression, but it also plays into the fatigue feature too. So we want you to be able to show up to your baby when you need to, I think so much focus is on sometimes the preconception and don't get me wrong, it's such an important part. But once babies here, you then need to turn around whilst healing like your your placenta, for example, it leaves a wound inside your body, the side the size of a sideplate. Right? If that was external, so if you had a massive wound on the outside of your stomach, or on your arm, right, people would be like, Oh, are you okay? What's the sigh of a side plate a side plate. So that's just that was centre when you birth your placenta, you leave that wound inside that then like the healing that has to happen, and this is where nutrition can really play into your postnatal picture too because we can you know, look at collagen and the importance of protein and all of those kinds of nutrients vitamin C in the lead up to ensure that that healing is happening and happening well, because you birth a baby and you have to show up but yet you've got this wound, that's just one here. If you've gone through a vaginal birth versus Aryan whatever type kind of birth you've had, you then still have that healing to do as well. It's just all internal, for the most part. So on even if it is a caesarean, for example, like it's covered,

Stephanie Slater: 1:08:30

yeah, or you just see one, like I've had to sit there and then you just see the stitching, but you don't see the layers of muscle and organ, you know, whatever is being cut open. And, and to be honest, I ended up having an infection with our second because I just kept moving. I just was like, Oh, well, I better get on and do I think I'm fine. And then it was like, No, you're not fine. You your stomach's torn apart, like, Yeah, I'm time to heal seven

Unknown: 1:08:50

layers of inlay. If this is Aaron, you know, it's all internal. So this is the thing the the healing that has to happen from pregnancy, postpartum is huge, but then you also have to show up to your baby. And we can we do that regardless, for the most part. And that's purely like hormonal driven, right? So often, we can turn around and show up to our baby and have the sleepless nights and all the rest of it. But if we stay on the repeated side, and if we're supporting that healing, that internal healing, then hopefully that rides just a little bit easier going going forward. Because postpartum then you think about, you know, even months after you've recovered from the initial birth, however long that that takes and I know you guys always talk about postpartum is far more than just that initial six months or six weeks when you get your final check, you know, it goes on and on and on. And if we think about things that can occur, like postpartum thyroiditis, for example, you know, this is really this is one thing that I'm always checking for because I have a thyroid disease and have had for over 12 years is now and it was all I was always told that that was going to impact not my fertility, but my chances of holding and holding my pregnancy. And I did experience miscarriage. And so that was like a real Wake Up Call of okay, like, I can now see that this is going to impact my fertility, like I need to get my thyroid under control and postpartum thyroiditis, like it's a big one because it mimics a lot of the same symptoms as postnatal depletion. So tired hair loss, weight fluctuations, struggling losing weight, all of these kinds of things are also postnatal thyroiditis, but it's not commonly been checked, or it's been overlooked.

Stephanie Slater: 1:10:38

And why? Because, you know, Dr. Miranda Miles, who is our lead practitioner, and has also been on the podcast talks so much about this and puts so much effort of emphasis on testing your thyroid, and I'm not going to try and say it all the different Yep, see if anybody can edit all the things are for therapists at it, and so I feel like maybe it's in the naturopathy world or the nutrition world, but doesn't seem to be the GP? Well, as much. I don't know, I don't want to say things that I don't really know we're talking about, but why is there not this huge focus on it, if we know that it can be so impactful and could actually prevent diagnoses of personnel depression? Because actually, this and we can control that with nutrition? And so isn't that way better than putting antidepressants in your body? Like, makes no sense to me?

Unknown: 1:11:23

Yeah, look, I don't know, I guess as well, it comes back. And we were saying this off off air, like, there isn't a lot of nutrition that has been studied in, you know, your, your Western world, right. And so, even though the research is there, they're not looking at that. They're looking at other things, you know, like, for example, zactly, right, you know, so I think that's where that's where then naturopaths and nutritionists come in. And that's where we play that key role, because we are very great at looking at blood pathology as well. And if we think about something like the thyroid, you know, even me, so I've got Hashimotos. And it took a long time for it to be diagnosed and over 12 years on and I'm still unmedicated even though I left though doctors with a bag of pills. And I'm not saying that there's not a time and place for medication. But for me, I knew that I could change my lifestyle and control this or at least try. Can

Stephanie Slater: 1:12:17

you explain Sorry to interrupt, but can you explain what Hashimotos is? Because, through Ask they were seeing a lot of our mums coming in with Hashimotos. And it seems to be a little bit around like I'm pretty sure that's what your sister's best friend is been diagnosed with, which has impacted her period Sophia, what exactly is Hashimotos? And how does it impact it?

Unknown: 1:12:36

Is it only women or no, it's even more common in women. So essentially, your thyroid gland lives in your neck and it controls like a lot in your body. It controls your body temperature, so you're hot and cold, it controls your metabolism. It's an energy source, so it controls a lot. And essentially with Hashimotos what it is, and there's two types. So there's Hashimotos thyroiditis, which has the antibodies present which I'll go into in a sec, but essentially your immune system attacks your thyroid because it thinks that there's a foreign invader. So it's an immune it's an autoimmune condition where your thyroid is being attacked. Now in the Western world, is there a knowledge of why that happened? That is absolutely crazy, doesn't it? Yeah, they will be that that's going date. Yeah. Science London's in real science. Fair enough. Yeah. Sorry. Do what 9am. We got that off for a few margaritas. Very sorry about that in the West. Yeah. So So essentially, your body just ceases foreign invader. And your immune system attacks its its thyroid, right. In the Western world, we are commonly just given thyroxin as the main medication there for for thyroid. Now, if it's thyroiditis, Hashimotos thyroiditis, for example, you will have raised antibodies, which is what Dr. Miranda's probably talked about. So, again, Western world on blood pathologies, how it's diagnosed plus symptoms, but they will test your TSH. If that's a regular they will then test your T 43. Now your TSH is how your brain communicates with your thyroid to release your T three T four hormones right now the reference range for Western medicine for the TSH is something like 0.5 to four it's like a very, very broad reference range. So even if you go with all the symptoms of Hashimotos which as I said is things like fatigue, your hair loss, brittle nails, hormonal imbalances, all these kinds of things. If your TSH wise or wants to stage how your brain communicates with your thyroid to release thyroid hormones, right. So if your T is Hage, so it's not even a direct thyroid reading, if that is not out of reference range, often T three T four and even looked at A T three T for a thyroid hormones, right. So you really have to advocate for yourself in terms of getting that TSH T three 84 checked. Now your thyroid antibodies are another test that is needed to establish what it is. So you're seeing a lot of clients in their postpartum period coming with thyroid, like Hashimotos. There's two, there's thyroiditis, which is Hashimotos thyroiditis your antibodies are raised, that is a long term chronic condition like that is there, but you can put it in remission. And we'll chat about the Western world misconception here. Men, you've got postpartum thyroiditis. Normally, your TSH T three and T four are imbalanced on blood pathology, but there's no antibodies. So normally what's caused that is a hormonal shift, such as pregnancy and birth. And so this is where in the end that normally resolves itself within the first year. However, it doesn't hurt to still be treating it through natural medicine in order to put that into remission a lot quicker than that year, because you just don't need to put up with those symptoms. So in the Western world, it's really commonly I mean, even me, I go and get my blood tested for my thyroid every year unless I experienced symptoms sooner. And I requested the other day I said, Oh, can I have my TSH, my T three, T four, and my antibodies test it and use it when you say requested by the GP to deny the GA, yeah, you can use ice cream, if you if you're getting stuck with a GP, there's a website called ice cream. And I think it's about 120 bucks, where you can actually get all your thyroid tested out of pocket. And what you do is you pay for that on the website, they send you a pathology slip and you take it to the nearest collection. So that's a great way to kind of bypass the GP if you're not getting what you need. And so when I said to the doctor, I'll send you my antibodies tested. He said, Oh, they're irrelevant, you don't really need them tested because I don't matter. And I just left it. But I know that if I reduce my antibodies and get them down, then my thyroid, my Hashimoto is non existent. I will then have flares. And so normally that's triggered by something whether that be a nutrition deficiency, whether that be stress is a big trigger for me, gluten, if I've eaten too much gluten, which I am strictly gluten free, that sometimes I slip. So, you know, those kinds of things are triggers. So then those antibodies might slowly start to creep up. And they if it's a long term condition, they those antibodies can be creeping up for 10 years before it's reflective of your TSH T three, T four. So women and some men, but mostly women can have symptoms for up to 10 years. And if they don't know to check those antibodies, it's not until the TSH T 43 become reflective that Bennett's Oh yeah, you've got this. And then what you're given is thyroxin, which is a medication that mimics your T four hormone. Now, because the rock scene doesn't reduce the thyroid antibodies, again, it's that common misconception of lantibiotic is don't matter. However, we see it time and time again, like I work with clients all the time, and we check their blood pathology frequently to make sure those antibodies are going down and they're going into remission. The key there is just to figure out their triggers. And so then they've got that long term management plan. But yeah, in in postpartum thyroiditis is slightly different where those antibodies aren't there. So it will normally resolve if not earlier, that 12 month mark, but it's really key that you need to be really mindful that if you're having another baby, you're having another pregnancy that will probably flare again. And what can you do to reduce the thyroid antibodies, so normally supplements my niece at home he's amazing with Selenium lots of research around around those two together working synergistically to lower the thyroid antibodies Aloevera juice is beautiful, lowering the thyroid antibodies as well. But then you also need to look at the thyroid cofactors so we need to look at what's driving the thyroid to be imbalanced in the first place. So if we think about the thyroid, other key nutrients are things like your iron your vitamin D, vitamin B 12 or nutrients which can become very depleted in pregnancy. So not only can that postpartum thyroiditis be a conjuring from that hormonal fluctuation but it can also be the the nutrient deficiencies that are happening. Vitamin A is another big one if we think about vitamin A in pregnancy, it's a lot of women avoid that. And so yeah, so it's looking at the driver of what's causing it so you might be on say your mind is totally selenium any allergies, but those thyroid antibodies will slowly start to go down. Normally by about three months and beyond. You'll start seeing them go down. However you still need to be working on that TSH T three T four picture so that you symptoms are a bagel together and that you've essentially put yourself into remission.

Stephanie Slater: 1:19:53

And you keep mentioning in the western world in the Western world, how is it done? Do you know how it's done? In the in We say still, I was like, definitely know that or in Florida you say east and Western? Like, um, because I mean I'm Hashimotos sounds Japanese. I assume it stemmed is that Have you ever heard

Unknown: 1:20:11

named after idea? Um, so I haven't gotten so curious like that I studied Japanese in New 12 in Egypt. Yeah, I don't know, a psychologist.

Stephanie Slater: 1:20:21

Sounds like a wake up. Oh, no, but Hashimotos sounds Japanese to me how she Morgana Yeah. And I imagine I just because I'm so curious, like, I know, we work with a lot of Chinese medicine practitioners and their understanding of our biology and what's going on and the way they treat it with the year with the chi and the warmth and all that kind of stuff. I think it would be very interesting to understand, I guess, you know, it's where it started and what they did.

Unknown: 1:20:49

Yeah, and I guess, I'm not 100% Sure, but from a nutritional point of view, and this will kind of tie in as to why I'm going here in in in a nutritional point of view, we know that there's often also digestive issues that come with Hashimotos. And even in that postpartum period, right? So it's very much in postpartum we're thinking those warm healing foods like we need to be able to break down our nutrients, which is always a problem with something like Hashimotos. And so it's kind of the same like, if a client comes to me, not only are we using the supplements to kind of lower things, but that long term management is very much staying away from a lot of raw foods, for instance, it is making sure the raw foods have, particularly if we look at our brassica family, which is like your broccoli, cauliflower, that kind of Brussels sprout family. If you're having a lot of like, say eating like beautiful broccoli salads every day in summer, you're actually then they've got a component within them called goitrogens, which block it in absorption, which is a key player for which I forgot when I was mentioning the nutrients a key player for something like Kashi modos. And so staying away from what's your raw foods are really important and going for more of your warming food that not only are you able to digest, but the nutrients are broken down for you. And if you are having say like your cabbage, broccoli, things like that, as long as that that the goitrogens within them have been broken down via cooking, you're not going to block that absorption of iodine, which is a key player for your thyroid. So I don't know the history of it. But I do know definitely the warming spices. All of those are really important to ensure not only your supportive, Eunji, digestion, digestion, but you're also supporting those nutrients coming in.

Stephanie Slater: 1:22:29

And that's really the aerobatic principle isn't about the warming foods. Again, though. It's so funny because you think oh, I'm eating broccoli salads like I'm so healthy. I'm so good. That it's like wow, now you got to go get this high big sometimes does start to feel a bit overwhelming, doesn't it? Like how do i but it's all about a plan and like knowing what you need to first of all test. Because the other thing that I know Miranda spoke about with the TSH was actually what you're testing is your brain's ability to communicate, you're not actually testing the hormone. So it's so crazy. They go oh, just test the TSH, we're just testing your brain. So again, I found this so like educational between last week's episode and this week's episode around over the last three around what we're testing what we're actually testing because it doesn't do doesn't get the results that we need. And I think I think women either during pregnancy and postpartum and and all of us, but we really have to learn to advocate for ourselves and and know what we're advocating for. But it's that thing we were talking about, you don't know what you don't know. And sometimes that can feel really overwhelming. Because as we said, you go on, especially social media, we tend to get like it's either Instagram or Tiktok that we find out like medical information. But we read these things and we hear these things and we get off. This is just too much like I don't even know where to start, but it's just those little seeds that you drop. And then you start to go okay, well I can do is like cocoa broccoli, I don't eat it raw. I can handle that. That fate or? Yeah,

Unknown: 1:23:49

so interesting. You mentioned that advocacy piece, because we did a bunch of research, sort of at the start of last year before we really got into my sky. And probably the most surprising thing that came out of that was the amount of women that spoke to us about needing to advocate for their own health and well being and not being listened to. And either the system or the practitioners that they were seeing and more, you know, GP sort of type of practitioners not necessarily believing in them or not. Not seeing that the symptoms that they were having as being, you know, an actual disease or something that they had going on and kind of like in your case, it's like, you know, no, it's fine. They're all good, don't worry about it. They're in the range. And that was a real point of not only frustration, but disappointment and sadness for a lot of a lot of the women that we spoke to because they they had to fight so strongly to just be listened to before even being taken care of. And often multiple times, like they you know, the amount of clients that will have and this is where I screen so great for the amount of clients that I have that will see multiple doctors to try to get just some basic plots. And so, again, it's a I always say to women try to find a woman GP, just purely because at least they get a period. They, you know, they they kind of can understand and relate, I feel like, I don't want to say all males, for sure, because I've actually got some great male doctors. But I think if you can find somebody who like a GP, for example, like unfortunately, we can't do blood testing in naturopathy, or Chinese medicine at all,

Stephanie Slater: 1:25:27

it's blows my mind. I know rice study trained experts, in this case, experts in reading logy reports, but you can't ask for it. You can't, ya

Unknown: 1:25:39

know, it's, it's insane. And so, yeah, so the advocating party is really hard. So I always say like, you know, if you are a mum, and you're in your postpartum period, and you know, or you're experiencing menstrual irregular irregularities, or whatever it might be, like, try to find a GP who perhaps, kind of sits there with you in that maybe, yeah, and you still like, it's not to say every doctor, every female, or every male is like this. But yeah, it's just a really hard place to be in my heartbreaks, because even when I go in to get my blood test taken, I know what to ask for. And I'm still learning what I need to ask for. But I also have a rebuttal if it's never needed, whereas a lot of women don't they're going in putting their health in the care of this person. And yeah, they've really got to fight for what they want. And it's a real shame. Yeah.

Stephanie Slater: 1:26:33

Many inquire, like there's so much inquiry now going on around whether it's like birth trauma, advocacy, you know, women's Yeah, advocacy around their health. That's all, like happening at the moment. It's all in

Unknown: 1:26:45

the news. Yeah, that's huge. And we're not doing it at the moment, we've got a great pathology lab that we've partnered with. So phase two of our rollout will include pathology and functional testing, so that we can actually support the women to figure out what the hell's going on. Because like he said, so many of them have, not only Don, taking the time to go and see so many people and had the frustration of it, but the money that they spend on these appointments and the constant back and forth, it's like people spending 1000s and 1000s of dollars over months and months and months, to still not have an answer and feel totally unheard. Yeah. And this is where as well, when we talk about the reference ranges, like this blows my mind, not only is it very broad, but also say, Hey, you're a pregnant woman, and you're growing in tiny little human from scratch, your reference ranges are the same as a 50 year old man. Or if you're a woman in her, you know, fertility space in having really heavy menstrual bleeds, like that's going to be the same as a menopausal woman. There is no, yeah, they just don't look at it's just one size fits all. And it's a real disservice. Because again, from the natural track, and that tropically point of view, we really are looking at that individual. But also we've got an hour with a client, whereas a GP, you might have 15 minutes, you know, and so it is a very, and then you might get a tech saying, oh, everything's all good. But what people often don't understand is that you're actually just in a one size fits all category. So when we get the all good from a GP, like I always ensure my clients that from a baseline, great, you're probably doing well from baseline level. But let's dive a little bit deeper. And let's try to get you to at least like Ideally an optimal or vitality, you know, like productive creation. Yeah, that's it. And so, you know, that's the other thing to keep in mind is it is just your baseline health is is probably looking good. But let's get your bid higher than that. Yeah. And I think the the

Stephanie Slater: 1:28:45

biggest thing is that we and we talk about this a lot is that we've just accepted this subpar health. We're like, well, I've got a slight headache isn't as bad as it usually isn't. I can get up and awaken and I'm feeling like, Yeah, I'm okay. Okay, well, you're surviving. Good on you. But let's like, I know, even with my eye, and I remember when I because it's like, yeah, you you don't even get a call half the time you just think okay, no call is good news. But my I was like, it was on the cusp of then being low. But that the range is so ridiculous anyway, that I'm like, but if I was I mean, I don't know what I would have no idea what I'm talking about. But like, let's say zero to 10 to 500. And if I'm 11. But you're telling me I could be 500 and still be given that. Okay, like that makes no sense. So it's just very frustrating. And it's, it's sad that we have to find ways to do to our, you know, ice screen use it like, that's great. It's great. But it's also so sad that, yeah, we spend money on GPS, often they're not bulk bill. So you're still even if you get a little bit back, you're still spending $80 $100 at a GPU tells you you're fine. You're like but I don't feel fine and I don't feel fine and you want to know what's going on and delve deeper. And then maybe there's an incredible naturopath nutritionist over there but you can't get in the car because it's an hour away and you've got kids in your car like it's just it makes it So then you end up just leaving with this mediocre health. Yeah.

Unknown: 1:30:04

And I would hazard a guess that if it's a male practitioner, they're probably putting you in the hysterical LML bucket. And well, this is the saddest part is it is very much often just, well, you've got a kid or you've got a toddler or you got a baby or like, of course, that's how you feel. And this is like what I'm really passionate about, because I had had three kids under three. And I felt amazing for the most part course I had my days, my weeks, but for the most part, I felt really good. And this is where I want to teach other women that they too can do all the things they want to do, and live a really good healthy lifestyle. And yeah, you're gonna have your moments, right? Like, I'm not there's days where I'm literally like, oh, like I haven't eaten today, I'm just drink three coffees. Like, I'm not perfect, either. But for the most part, I feel pretty damn good. And this is where knowing that you can feel like that, and you don't have to just live in that state of survival is important. So that to Stephanie often, because obviously the information that we need to collect from women, when they become a member of SLI, and meet with our practitioners, and you have just breaks for women who are feeling and experiencing all of these challenges and complications and you think, isn't supported God? How do they get through every day? Genuinely, how do they get through every day, I couldn't possibly fathom, feeling that way. And having so many health complications, all happening at once, and then trying to juggle two or three kids at the same time, as a household work. Everything else that comes with it, like the mother's load is huge. And getting back into the workforce, and only, you know, two incomes now being required in most households, because interest rates have gone up, you know, some of our friends said that, you know, interest rates have put an extra 3040 grand on their mortgage repayments. If you're not staying at home for another couple of years to, you know, be with the kids, you've got to get back into work, and you got to do it. Now.

Stephanie Slater: 1:32:02

I like the identity shift as well, like this is very much as a cloud.

Unknown: 1:32:06

So what did you actually do? What what did you do during that time to feel optimal? Because I think I would imagine a lot of women are sitting there going, what? What's the secret? And how do I get it? But what, obviously it was a number of factors. But what did you do during that period to feel optimal and to feel replenished, repeated once the right well, either? I've never had the word replated before. But yeah, when they read maybe I'll say I'm all about it. Let's do it. So I think like looking at your blood is really important, like your blood pathology. And if you can start doing that early on, whether it be preconception or pregnancy, great. And I can send you a link, I actually have a reference range that we look at from a naturopathic point of view for your level so you can kind of read your own blood pathology and see where you're at it's pregnancy based so trimester 123. But yeah, looking at that is really important. There may need to be supplementation that's involved. For me, particularly in that postpartum period. Obviously, having your meal services and things like that was great. Again, me it's everything very well cooked, lots of bone broth, lots of you know, really healing foods. But I'd rather you avoid raw foods almost exclusively. No, only if I mean, if like right now my antibodies have risen and so right now, I wouldn't be eating raw foods, but if by antibodies, non existent symptoms are non existent, I would eat raw foods, like oh, it's still have smoothies and things like that. Yeah, it's just if I'm in like a flare, that's when I'm, I'm eating, avoiding all raw, yeah. But I think it comes down to habits as well. So I think her big piles with thinking postpartum you know, I always just tried to get my habits in check. And I think it got me a long way. And we know that habits can take up to 12 weeks to actually form so I like to think of like habit stacking. So whatever you're already doing, if you wake up in the morning and have a glass of water habit stuck on that or if you like you brush your teeth, right every morning, you might add a glass of water to that like think about your already existing habits and how you can habit stack on top of that. So I think routines and habits are really important. So things like not doing your coffee first thing in the morning which can be so hard, particularly if you're in those early sleepless nights, but instead of replacing it with something like a bone broth, which sounds disgusting and it's not what you want, but at the time of drinking and it's actually really healing and you feel really good and it does get you by and there's some really nice bone broth that can be flavoured that have all your tumeric and all of that which bring that really beautiful anti inflammatory property as well. So I think not drinking coffee first thing upon waking. Try to have food first prepare, you know Prepare is preparation is key. So doing things like your Chia puddings, and it might be there for five days, you know, like, I've got always a container of like a chia pudding, which I can give my kids or I can just eat myself. And it's always there. But I think eating breakfast when you first wake up is essential. But yeah, it it honestly just comes down to your preparation because so often I see moms skipping meals, and that's where they might have a really nice breakfast, and then they skip lunch and they're not eating till five o'clock. And then when we actually run out what they're eating, they're like, Oh, no wonder why I've got no energy or No wonder I'm feeling this way. Definitely.

Stephanie Slater: 1:35:36

I'm getting, I'm getting a lot of an autograph. I will say though Shelley's Instagram. And we'll link that as well, is phenomenal use to share so many tidbits of information, things that you do. I love the habit stacking. I think you've talked about them on reels before. So I'm just conscious. And I say we say this all the time. But I've heard we could talk forever. But we will definitely link that because you're so open and honest with what you do and what your days look like and what you can do from a nutritional perspective and supplementation and things like that. So yeah, I think and she doesn't have her top off. So

Unknown: 1:36:10

there needs context. told me how a lot of influences, you know, like, you take yourself off and you become like instafamous. I don't expect boobs out. No. She's really desperate. He's always rough me up, because I just I enjoy going out at us. Why can't you run house all day? Fair enough. Fair enough? Well, maybe the last question we can ask yourself if we have to duck off. I know that you were a bodybuilder when you were younger as well, really. So I thought I'd go on date filmer update. bodybuilder you three kids under three, you've got your own business, you've got your own podcast, I can hear from the way you talk. Now, even when you were talking about some of the challenges that you sort of having with parenting and with your son, you've just got this. There's something that goes on in your mind that I don't think a lot of people have, which is I don't know exactly what it is. But this whether it's ambition or determination or repetitive nature that you spoke about, what is it like what is what is that thing that you think maybe exists within your way of thinking or your mindset that allows you to just keep pushing and doing things that other people might look at and go no way impossible. I am a very competitive person, which I said earlier. So I think that was great for the bodybuilding stuff. And the reason I got into that was because of my diagnosis with Hashi motors. And I had been drinking a lot and just party and like I'm a country girl, I moved here when I was 18 and spent like four years party thinking goon bags. So that's why I did the bodybuilding because I needed a reason to stop doing it. I think my I don't know, when I set my mind to something I'm very determined. So that was the bodybuilding. I needed to cut a lot of friendships and I needed a good reason. So when Shelly wasn't drinking, like the potty go, and someone questioned me, I had a I had a why I think now we'd like the kids. I, I choose to work and run the podcast and do my clinic because it brings me a lot of joy in a more selfish way. Like and it's my why and gives me purpose. But I think with my kids, you know that they will always be my number one. And I'm very conscious that I chose to have three kids and to have them close together. And even if I'm choosing to like work and do all those things, like they don't need to suffer because of my other choices. So therefore, like if anything's going to drop, it'll be the work stuff. And I'll always shift gears to the kids just because, yeah, I don't know, it's just I don't know how to answer this question. Like, I don't know what it is. But that's, I guess they're like, my, my why? And, yeah, I have to do what's best for them. Because I choose to do all these other things. They aren't asking me to work or they aren't asking me to do all the great things we can do because I work. And so you know, no, I guess it's just, I don't know. Now, I

Stephanie Slater: 1:39:09

love that. And I think I'm very much the same in that they didn't choose to be here we chose to create them and bring them outside. So we owe them you know, the presence and the love and all that kind of thing and the priority. Yeah, I just think that that's I'm exactly the same you've said that

Unknown: 1:39:27

much better than me. Oh, no. combination of the two that's what I was trying to stay. Well, thank you for coming on. It's been a pleasure to talk to you. We'll link to everything that you've mentioned willing to your podcast, which is incredible. Listen to a number of episodes and an exact IDM

Stephanie Slater: 1:39:42

I like message you from my personal because I was like Shelley it's cool actually. I call rails and she's on. I was like I'll just DM you and how funny was it? You wrote back? Like it was like not a huge time delay. I was thinking I wouldn't even hear from you and I was like, well shouldn't back he's like who the hell Shelley? Like shall I

Unknown: 1:40:01

got really deep dive via my internet. I don't even know where you've seen those bodybuilding. But it's been a pleasure talking to you, I just want to say thank you for being vulnerable and sharing a lot of what goes on at home, because you probably thought that you'd come on here and talk exclusively about nutrition. And then we sort of go off and all these tangents, but I think it really, it really gives people an understanding that, you know, they're not alone. And some of the challenges that we face, we all face through parenting and everything else, that there's other people out there that are going through it as well. And they might see the Instagram stuff and think life is perfect. And it's like, well hang on a minute. There's a lot more under the surface, and everyone's got this stuff that they deal with. So yeah, I just want to acknowledge that and say thank you, because I think that really helps people. And this is why your podcasts and the tangents that we've been on a fabulous because Instagram is just a highlights reel, you know. And so yeah, I think that rawness and that realness is really important to come out because we're not all perfect. We are all doing the same thing. But sometimes we feel really alone in all this. Yeah. Well, thanks. Thanks, guys. Thanks for coming on. Cheers. Bye.

Stephanie Slater: 1:41:08

Thank you for listening all the way to the end of the b&b corner brought to buy Escalade as a way for us to say thank you. We are offering the first 50 mums a free consult and your first month's product free. All you need to do is visit escalade.co. Schedule a consult with one of our practitioners and enter the promo code. Baby consult. Take your first step towards personalised wellness with athletes today.

Asklé B&B Corner

32 - Shelley McKenzie - Nutritionist & Naturopath

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