No Pillz with Gordon McGhee

How to Stay Married: Wisdom from 60+ Year Couples | Ep 68 No Pillz Podcast

• Gordon McGhee • Season 2 • Episode 68

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What's the secret to a long and happy marriage?  In this powerful episode of the No Pills Podcast, we dive deep into practical advice from couples who have been married for 60, 80+ years!    Discover the importance of respect, open communication, kindness, and realistic expectations.   We tackle everything from navigating disagreements to the value of companionship and why "sacrifice" might not be the right word.   Plus, we address modern relationship challenges and the dangers of unrealistic expectations in dating.  Whether you're single, dating, or married, this episode is packed with invaluable insights to build a strong, lasting relationship.  Don't forget to subscribe to the No Pills Podcast for more love and relationship 

Original clips: https://youtu.be/1p559ocSjhQ?si=v1AWdVagr1s0kaq6
Original clips: https://youtu.be/F8IxttK_0Wo?si=6dXisNVDdwnoBZ3z

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00:00 Introduction and Podcast Purpose
01:01 Personal Marriage Experience
01:38 Insights from Long-Term Marriages
02:01 Sacrifices and Positivity in Marriage
05:55 Realistic Expectations in Relationships
08:46 Importance of Respect and Apologies
10:31 Value of Personal Connection
12:37 Legal and Practical Aspects of Marriage
13:49 Commitment and Friendship in Marriage
17:50 Generational Differences in Marriage and Cooking
18:12 Navigating Rough Patches in Marriage
20:03 The Importance of Companionship
24:08 Kindness and Communication in Marriage
28:14 Advice for Younger Couples
30:58 Final Thoughts on Marriage and Community

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Welcome back, beloved. It's me, G-Man. Your man, brother Gord. Don. Welcome to the No Pills podcast. Love. Fully scripted. Yes, beloved. And today we are gonna be talking about how to stay married. So often we focus on the negative. You know, the the, my initial. Intent, purpose, goal behind this podcast was to set before you people who were actually having successful courtships and successful marriages, but we've taken. Quite a bit of time and episodes, uh, to, to just look at the modern dating landscape. And I'm gonna be honest friends that can just get a little depressing. So I'm hoping today's podcast, this will be an encouragement to you, that you'll be able to glean some powerful insights from older couples who have been married for a very long time. And you can actually take these practical tips and steps and feedbacks. And insert them into your courtships and into your marriages. Look, you know, we've got, we've gotta get positive friends. We, we need to go to those who are doing it successfully. As many of you know, I was married for almost 20 years, or together with my wife, almost 20 years married for almost 18. And it was a great experience, but I was young. We were young, and I have to be honest, there was some growing pains. As I matured in the marriage. There was some ups, some downs, some hurt feelings. You know how life goes. So I did not have a perfect marriage. Some people I look at and go, man, look, you guys really just don't, never argue, never have any, uh, disagreements. You've got it all together. You've got all your passions in check. But I know that's usually not. The case. That's just how the outside looks or how it appears on the outside. But we're gonna look at some, some seasoned veterans in the realm of marriage and see what we can glean today. Let's roll the footage. Friends. How long have you been married For? 20 years. How long have you guys been together? Married over 62 years. But we've known each other. Probably 66 years. What are the sacrifices that you guys have to make or have to make in order for this to work? Quite frankly, I don't think I made any sacrifices. Woo. Get some of that. This is the mentality. You have to have the outlook. You have to have the perspective you have to have if you want to have your marriage work, okay. How to stay married. Looking at it like this, I haven't made any sacrifices. Old school, getting right to it. Hey man, sacrifices. I don't count this as sacrifice. Come on man. This is a blessing. This is a blessing. Sacrifices, whatever. Do you mean everybody listening, watching let that sink in. Old school said, Hey man, this marriage, this relationship, I didn't make any sacrifices. Wow. I mean, he's looking at this thing completely positive, like. Take note. Friends, I, I got, I got some heat for you today. Take note. Mm, take, take note, beloved. Guess that marriage is not for everyone. Not at all. God. I mean, some people are thinking, oh, I have to sacrifice like my freedom and this and that. It's like, no, I think you have more freedom when you have a committed relationship. Mo, I've been telling y'all, you can't improve on God. You do it God's way, you get in a committed relationship, there's more freedom. Listen, you don't have any, you don't have to worry about any pregnancies for somebody You don't wanna be with no STDs. You've got a lifelong com partner. You, you, you can go, come and go As you, I remember being in the world before I gave my life to Christ and, uh, fornicating and being out there and all these relationships, some good, some toxic, some bad ups, downs, all over the place. I was, there was a level of peace, oh man, that I received when I did it God's way and, and got married and was committed. I'm not saying it was perfect because I'm a selfish person, unfortunately, and I need Christ and I need to surrender. But let me tell you, beloved, there was a freedom and a peace of mind. That I had when I was married that I did not have before I was married. Those relationships are not just a compromise, but a complimentary existence. One person is the good cook, me one. One person takes care of the finances Him. Yeah. And that gets worked out in a relationship complimentary. Those of us who have locked into this and respect and identify that we have different roles in the marriage as a man and a woman. And that we can come together and work as a team. That's where the success is. Friends, not this, you do everything. I take all your money or I, I take and use up all your body and then I'm gonna cheat on you and you're gonna be, no, I. This is what marriage is supposed to be about. We come together, we compliment one another. This is how God intended it. Friends, this is so beautiful. I'm loving this also an attitude toward life in general. I mean, I guess you could ask somebody, what kind of sacrifices do you make for your job? Well, if you really like your job, you know, look at it like a sacrifice. What is your attitude towards life in general? He said, this is, this is some heat today. This is some wisdom. You know, some of us are, are negative. We're just negative people. Glass always half empty, never half full. You know what I mean? And then we bring that into our relationships. You know, sometimes we're coming from negative homes. Listen, and, and this, this goes for those that are unchurched and those that are churched. Because if you haven't given it all as a churched person, if you haven't given it all to Jesus, if you haven't surrendered it, entered into that rest of with Christ, you're gonna bring, you're gonna bring that negative outlook on, on the world, and maybe even on your religious experience into your marriage. Friends, the, these are some good tips right here, man. Some good stuff. I think it's harder than it ever was, but I also think that people's expectations are higher than maybe they should be. I think that you have to kind of take a chance on people and get to know them better. Having unrealistic, uh, expectations of this person's gonna be lined up right up with all your ideals and all your priorities. It's not gonna ever happen. Like you're gonna have to make compromises, and so there's gonna be surprises. If she didn't hit the nail on the head with this one, anyone out there that's single? Ask yourself, what are your expectations? Like? Are they realistic? Are you expecting your spouse to do for you that which only God can do for you? Some of us are just, I want a millionaire. I. Billionaire. I want the most attractive woman in all the world, in all the land. I just wanted somebody that would be willing to sleep with me at Grand Central Station on the street, or be with me in a mansion. That's who I was looking for. I think they called him a ride or die. I was actually looking for a wife, someone who I know I could trust, who didn't care about my money. Who, who, who, who, who was into me, you know? And I get it, you know, there's some, there's some condition to that, right? I wouldn't expect my spouse to just be all in love with me if I let myself go and I didn't take care of myself and was all jacked up. But I would hope and pray that even if I was in a situation where I was letting myself go and I wasn't living that healthy, or maybe I was depressed and I didn't have myself together mentally and was kind of in, in a rough spot, that my spouse would be there to encourage me, right? To get up, get healthy. Get myself together and, and get back on the horse, so to say, uh, of life and to ride into the sunset together. So while I'm looking for someone who's, you know, we, we say love us unconditionally, unconditional love, I think there still needs to be accountability in the marriage that we would hold each other accountable for positive things, you know what I mean? For our religious beliefs and for our moral standards, and for being positive and, and being encouraging to one another and to just. Want to be married to somebody who is positive, right? Who does have a positive outlook on life. So this is, oh man, I love that she said this. Um, because so much of what I see online today is just unrealistic expectations. I. It's not like we'll be together for. Okay? And let me lemme say this. I know that many have an experience that you may find someone who is not motivated, who is lazy. And I'm not suggesting you stay with a person who's not motivated, who's who's, who's lazy or wants to take advantage of you. So we have to be praying for discernment, right? We have to know is this person. Uh, have, have a good work ethic. Right. And we, we've covered this on other podcasts. I've covered this on other episodes, um, where you can go back and look at the requirements you should be looking for, um, to marry someone that are, that are, that are realistic and not these, uh, unrealistic expectations. I. I think that the key word is respect you. You're not always gonna agree with what he or she is doing. Ultimately respect their choices. I think you have to learn how to say you. Sorry. Yeah. That is a really big thing. I thought that love is never having to say, oh, but it is, and that's a ridiculous statement that does just for you. Yeah. Oh, two gems. Respect and saying you're sorry. Come on. Listen, we in North America, we need to have a culture that is a lot more inclined to listen to older people because just within the first few minutes of, of this little montage that I put together here is, wow, it's just so real, so down to earth. And these are the principles, friends that I've been pulling out of the owner's manual on this podcast. Love, respect. Listen, if, if, if you don't have respect in, in a, in a marriage, like man, if your wife doesn't respect you, it's falling apart or you are as straight miserable and being able to say, sorry. I mean, how about that? Some of us grew up in homes where we never heard, sorry, where we never got an apology, so therefore we never gave an apology, you know, other than to get ourselves outta trouble when we were younger. Just keeping it real respect, friends. Do you, if you're in a relationship right now, I want you to ask yourself, do you respect your spouse? You respect them. If you're in a relationship right now, have you ever said, sorry if you're married, have you ever said, sorry if you're in, if you're courting someone right now, do you respect them? Why put them through all this rigmarole? Get down to the wedding day and you're like, man, I'm gonna marry somebody I don't respect, I. There's wisdom here, friends. Tell me, what are some things you think we could do to have like more opportunities or better chance of finding real love? I think you should take this and flush it down the toilet personal connection. You can't replace that. I think it's very difficult now for dating one, because it's all done kind of remotely. A lot of this texting back and forth, which seems like the worst way to communicate. Mm-hmm. We were very immature when we got married. We were both 22. Speak yourself. Excellent point right here. Alright. Here we're looking at people that have been married for a long time and first thing they're saying is like, man, you, this phone thing you got going on, throw it away man. This technology, this, this, over the phone o over the internet, you know, trying to communicate through text messages, which is terrible. Like, man, go meet some folks in person. This is their advice. They're giving us, learn how to communicate, learn how to talk to one another. I wanna look somebody in the face, man and see if they crazy or not. You know, see if there's chemistries to see if we have similar out expressions of faith. See if our characters mesh. See if we enjoy being around one another. You know, seeing if, if, if our personalities mesh good together. I, I mean, I, I don't know if you can get that all done. I know you can't get that all done over the phone, man. Or, or, or, um, I mean, listen, video calling, maybe that kind of helps you out. Some, you can do video calls and I know I have, if I said it before on other episodes, I do have many of friends who have, have successfully found a Christian spouse online. So it, it is not an impossibility, but I think they're touching on something right here that's important, like allowing it to be organic, being able to feel one another out. And we're so locked in behind screens that we kind of have lost. I. I think some of the technique of actually dealing, interacting with people, a lot of people my age are skeptical about marriage. Can you explain to someone who's never been married, uh, what the value of that is? Commitment. Commitment is commitment. Being able to handle one's healthcare in the hospital. I. Their first question is, is this your wife? Is this your husband? Oh, it's just a boyfriend. It's just a girlfriend. Then I need to talk to your family member. I've said this before in other podcast, you know, for those who are like, oh man, I don't know if I want to get married in the courts, you know, legally, because it's, it's a, it's a negative for me. You know, listen, there's some practical aspects to being married legally on the books by government, which I, I wish that the church was the only person involved in marriage, but. Your property. If you do get sick, if you don't set all that stuff up in stuff up in advance, she's right. You're just a boyfriend, you're just a girlfriend. Move out of the way. Let the parents step up. So you need to protect yourself legally with some legal documents. At the very least, I. If you've taken some non-conventional approach to being married in this day and age in which we live, so if you're just going down to the courthouse or you're not going down to the courthouse, if you're just going to the church and not going to the courthouse, you better get yourself a lawyer and get that thing documented up some way that's gonna protect you. Because friends, you may find yourself in a situation where you get sick, you know, I lost my wife to cancer. It happens, and it was a lot easier, a lot smoother with all any properties. Uh, being able to take care of her to go through the journey with her because we were married so legally by with the state. Hate it. Love it. Don't like it. It is what it is. Friends, what's the value of being with someone for the rest of your life, hopefully versus jumping around and like, oh, if I have all of these options available to me, why would I stick with one? Well, to me, it's having your best friend next to you all the time. When Anne goes our way for a few days, I'm sort of out of sorts. A good marriage gives one a sense of safety and comfort. It allows you to grow. Just like a child who feels secure in their relationship with their parents, is then willing to go out in the world. Independently knowing that there's a good attachment. That's what marriage is. It's an attachment. I mean, 62 years is crazy. Congratulations. But how have you managed to appreciate, alright, listen, this is more heat, more heat commitment, safety, best friend. Sometimes there is a pressure to get married. Maybe because you want to have children by a certain age. You know, maybe your family's pressuring you. Like, why are you not married yet? And sometimes I think maybe we marry people who maybe we can't even see ourselves being best friends with. Now, I know love does grow. I've gotten testimonies from friends that say, Hey, when we started out, I, I didn't have the respect. Um, I didn't have the love that I have now for my spouse. So I know that is possible, but you definitely should marry somebody that you love. I. That you can love and that you respect, and I would hope that it would be your best friend. Before my wife and I got married, my worldview changed. Um, I initially did not want to get married at all, and then I started to read my Bible and I realized like, man, I wanted to do it God's way. But prior to that, like my wife was, my girlfriend at the time was like my best friend. Like I can remember just us finishing each other's sentences and thoughts and we got along so good. And. Um, I just enjoyed being around her. All I wanted to do was be around her and friends. We should feel that way about the person we're gonna marry, right? We should want to be, we should be friends. We should be best friends. We should enjoy one another's company. If not, why you getting married? You should look at this person and be like, man, I want to do life with you. I think I can do life with you. And I remember one of the things that led me to made the decision to marry my wife was just that I thought that we could go through the hardest times together. Our ability to communicate was just through the roof, in my opinion. And I was right about that. I, I think a lot of us staying married was because we were able to communicate through those dark, dark times, through those rough patches. And if your marriage is not a safe place, man, like what is it that's toxic? That's terrible. You should never be in a marriage where you don't feel safe. And friends, we could all be guilty of making our marriages not safe if we don't guard it intentionally. If we're out there flirting, if we're out there being too friendly with the opposite sex, if we're giving our spouse reasons to not trust us, if we got, if we're hiding things and being secretive, you know what I'm saying? That's not I. That's not what, what these veterans are telling us. Like, no, safety, trust, friendship, best friends hate each other over that time. And for that long, there are peaks and valleys in every relationship. And there are times when you're moving together at the same way and the same pace. And then there are times when things are off and you have to accommodate that. And I think we were pretty good at that, allowing each other. For example, when he retired, he makes his own breakfast and lunch. You know, I take care of him. I married you for better or for worse, but not for lunch. Yeah. I, I think that's an expression that, uh, probably is, is pretty accurate. Alright. Old school, I don't know about this. I've, I've met some older men who cannot fend for themselves. They will die if, if their wife dies. He fool and they don't know how to do anything in the kitchen. They don't know how to boil water. Or toast. Or even cook toast. Now, I'm not saying this is good. I'm not on board with men like this. If you are one or if you got a grandfather that's like this or a dad that's like this, I'm not coming at them completely, but I'm coming at them a little bit. They should be out there. Able to fend for themselves in the kitchen. But let's be honest, there is a generation of men who are, who, who will starve to death and they don't have a wife. So, uh, praise the Lord that the, these fine folks have made the adjustments, is what I was hearing. That you have to be able to make the adjustments when you do get into the bad parts of the marriage. Oh, when things are off, right? I think this is what happens in our, in, in this generation. Things get off and we want to get off the marriage. We wanna get off the ride, right? Like, oh, as soon as there's. Ooh, dissimilation. As soon as we're not kind of working together, as soon as it's, ooh. Soon as it's off, you turn off and you're out. That's the wrong approach. Just ride it out like, Hey, this too shall pass. So he's retired and I don't know if that was because he wanted to cook the meals or she needed a break, which is sweet if she wanted to get a break from having to cook all the time. But, you know, I'm looking for that Proverbs 20, Proverbs 31 woman. I don't mind jumping in the kitchen. I don't mind helping out. I don't, you know, I, I, I don't mind that, but man, I, I, I, I, I kind of think that. A woman enjoys feeding her man, you know, because of, hey, the weight to his heart is through his stomach. Like there's a, there's a part of that in, in caring for her family, feeding her husband that she just enjoys. And maybe it's like, you know, a little bit of an expression of her love, but I get it too. Sometimes you get burnt out and doing it for a long time. Everybody needs a break. That being in the kitchen is no joke. I, it is real. But a good note here as far as, uh, just sticking with it even when the marriage and the relationship gets off a little bit. I. I think that's, that's, that's some really wise counseling and, and not being afraid to make changes. Just because you've been doing it one way for so long doesn't mean you have to keep doing it that way. So respect to that, I was younger. I worried a lot about finding love in my life, enduring love, you know, whether it was living with someone or married to someone, that that didn't work out. Mm-hmm. Then we're together 30 years. So we came together fairly late in, you know, in midlife and yes, it was that important. Yeah. And as we get older it gets even much more important. Well, companionship, let's talk about it companionship in later years. So this is so true. A lot of people are, Hey, I don't need no man, I don't need no woman. I'm gonna hold on. A lot of that's that feminines, not that feminist nonsense. Coming outta that. I don't need a man. Do it yourself. Have a baby by yourself. Yeah. What about companionship? It is not good. That man should be alone. Can't improve on God. Friends. You just need a companion. And for everybody out there who's thinking like, man, I'm too old, too late in life. Here's an example. Older couple knew each other when they were younger, got together when they were older, had experienced some life and now 30, 30 years together. So it is never too late. I think if you're willing to be adaptable with your requirements and expectations in a relationship. And I, I so love the fact that she was honest with like, Hey, like as you get older, man, like you're looking for more companionship. Like, and some of us, lemme say this to you. Don't be out here wanting to be young and dumb and live your own life and do it your way. Do th will and then in your later years now, want somebody to come and be your nurse. Male or female, oh, now come take care of me. When, when I've given all my, all my good years to, to every Tom, Dick, and Harry out there. And now, oh, come, come love me. Come Nestle up with me. So if you have enough common sense, enough sense now to realize that man, getting older alone is something I probably don't want to do, then, you know, you attract more flies with honey than you will with vinegar. Be a sweet rose. Now, man, I. Be a faithful man now. Be a faithful woman. Now be the husband, be the wife now. Right? Be the person that you want to attract first. First Corinthians 13, man tells us about love. We covered here so many, so much here on the podcast, and it's, it's long suffering. It's patient, it's kind, it's meek, it's lonely, it's, you know. It's not this selfish do without will. It's all about me. What can I get from you and what I'm not going to give to you mentality that you see out in the world. I feel like so many people don't understand that, you know, many of us are, we, we are doing it God's way. We, we've become Christians, we are involving God in the relationship and in our selection process because we don't trust that we can do it right. Like we see it being done so wrong all around us. We're thinking like, yes, this is one. One man, one woman, one wife, forever into death. Do's, part, being faithful. No cheating. Yeah, that, that sounds like contentment and happiness. Long, long term. Yeah. Yeah. Someone there. If we do get sick friends, I had no idea. My wife had no idea that at the age of 37 she was gonna die from cancer. Go figure. And I've said it before and I'll say it again. I counted a privilege to be able to go through that journey with her alone. And it would've been such a sad, oh man, it'd been so sad had she had to have gone through that. Alone. I was glad I was there with her. You know, think about it, friends, Mr. Dw and Ms. Willie. How y'all doing? Fine. How are you? You 103 years old. Yeah. And you a hundred, that's up. You got to be the prettiest a hundred year old. I bet you Old school was thinking in his mind like, yo, you don't stop hitting on my wife. Because listen, I know my granddaddy when he was alive, my grandfather, shout out to Charles Strout. Love you, miss you. He would not have been going for that. He looked at us, man. Man, you better stop talking about my wife like that right here with me sitting here, man. Oh, shout out to my granddaddy. They've been married 82 years. Wow. So now, miss Willie, you said that the secret to a happy marriage is being nice to each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yo, let's talk about it. How simple is this? Love is kind one. Corinthians 13. Love is kind. It is patient. 83 years. What's the secret? Being kind to one another. Yo, all my people trying to get married out here. Come on. All, all, all the folks that have been divorced out there, I wonder how much of that divorce was really about y'all just not being kind. How you talking to each other? Cussing at each other. Raising your voice is just not being kind. Like I'm telling you, this series eclipsed. From these, from the older population that have been made along is invaluable. This is so true. This is exactly what we've been covering and pulling out of the ons Manual episode after episode. Just be kind. Just be kind. I can't tell you the amount of unkind people I run into online. It's in it's, it is sometimes it's unbelievable. Like, man, can there be this many unkind people in the world? Like, you don't even know me. I don't know you. You're behind a computer screen and you're just behind a little keyboard and you are nasty. Makes you wonder how you ever gonna be married if you can't treat another human being nice. Like can you really treat your spouse nice. Just, just a question. Alright, shut out. 83 years married. You gotta be kind to one another. Yeah. Other advice you have? Just sit down and talk things over. Talk things over. Oh yeah. And get a good understanding of what you doing and where you going. Communication. Be kind and communicate. Talk it over. Understand where the other person's coming from. Alright, now I'm on board with all this. Uh, let me ask you something. Uhhuh, it's a lady up here. Uh huh. That's been engaged. Uhhuh, she been with her boyfriend 11 years. Yeah. They been engaged for five years. Yeah. He want to get married. Uhhuh, she don't wanna get married'cause she think they ain't got enough money to have the big wedding. She want Uhhuh. Big word. Yeah. Big word. Mr. Dw. Well, now why you wanna bring us into that? Yo, listen, listen. All right. I don't know if you missed it. I don't know if you missed it or did you catch it? They've been married 83 years. She's like, listen, wanna know another tip? Mind your business. Stay outta other folk business. You wanna stay married a long time. Stay outta other folk business. Don't let folk into your business. This is the principle. She's dropping this. This is the principle she's giving us right now. Hey man. What you asking us about somebody else's marriage for, I mean, we gonna mind our business. We gonna stay over here. That's how we've stayed married so long. Minding our business, staying at the other folk business. Come on. I, I, I'm, I'm with it. I'm with it. Mind your business. You don't have no big work. Let's don't get married. Don't. All right, so, so the husband's like, Hey man, you don't even know big wedding. Just go on and get married. Um, check your motives, sisters. Throw all my sisters out there, man. You guys want the, the, the, the ice sculpted swans. You know what I mean? You want the gold ceilings, you want the destination weddings, you want the, you just wanna spend 30, 40, $50,000 on a wedding. Lemme tell you something. Young people, yo, put that on a house. Put that into real estate or something, man. Do not go out here and spend 50. I know it's your wedding. You know your brother going, don't tell me what to do with my money, with my wedding. I, I understand. If I could just give you some friendly advice, some brotherly advice. Look man, take that money that you would've spent on that wedding and invest that. Make it put, put that as an investment man that can, that can render you some returns into your future.'cause you never know what's gonna happen tomorrow. Lemme ask y'all the question, okay? Okay. How long did you court her before you asked her to marry you? Oh, about what? About three months or so. Three months. Yeah. When you're young mm-hmm. You don't know any better. Right. When you get older, you learn your lesson. Yeah. So you know better. Right? Alright, so look, this is two good points. Um, right here. One, he, he, they weren't courting forever, friends. Some of y'all have been in relationships 5, 6, 10 years and y'all not married what is going on in three months, he made a decision and ended up being married to this woman for 83 years and her statement about, Hey, when you young, you don't know any, but I relate, like getting married at 2022 was, was so easy or so much easier than trying to get married at 40 30. Because now you have this life experience and if you, if you've been living on your own, it's a, your mind is now, like you, you don't know when, you don't know when you're younger, you don't know what you don't know when you're younger. Okay. But as you get older, you know, like, okay, wait, wait. I, I'm, I, I wanna make sure you kind of got yourself together, man, like really together, because I don't wanna be going through un unnecessary hardships. And now maybe you, you may have children or something like that if you, if it's, if you, if you're, if you're a widow or it's just a whole different gambit of concerns in worries you now have as you get older. So my suggestion is, friends get on and get on and get married when you're a little younger. Um, you know, I. And be willing to just grow with that person versus getting old, getting stuck in your ways and maybe having some negative life experiences that are going to jade and kind of color your thoughts towards marriage. How old was y'all when y'all got married? I was, I was 19 years old. You was 19. Mm-hmm. Now Mr. DW was 19. Right. And he 103 now, right. And you a hundred? Uh mm-hmm. I, I can't count. So good. Yeah, she can't cancel. Good.'cause they was a little extra young. She was a little extra young. She was a little on the extra young side. But it worked. I mean, what are we gonna say? 83 years? Are we gonna tell them? Nah, it didn't work. I think that was what he was, she was 16. He was 19. Hey, I, the, the parents co-signed it. 83 years it worked. Friends, listen, I hope this episode I. Go back and watch this over, man, play it back. There are some gems in here. And maybe we just get around more people that have successful marriages and continue to get advice from them and not from, uh, the internet where there's just all type of selfish counsel. Selfish advice, feminist, tainted, colored advice and mindsets. Friends, everybody's not like that. I. Hey, every person is not like the person you see online. Get into a healthy community, man of people who want to be married, who want to do it God's way, who want to take on the responsibilities, who want to be providers, who want to respect and love their husbands. Men who want to be fathers, women who want to be wise, like change your pool that you are in, right? You're in the wrong pond. A lot of us, a lot of you are in the wrong pond. Do it God's way. No love has been fully scripted and you can bear the fruits and reap the fruits and benefits of a godly marriage in a godly union. I. I'm Gordon McGee. This is the No Pills Podcast. Love fully scripted, and I am signing off, and I will catch you next week.