No Pillz with Gordon McGhee

Is Being Single at 30 a Red Flag? Modern Dating vs. Old Fashioned Romance | No Pills Podcast Ep69

• Gordon McGhee • Season 2 • Episode 69

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Join Gordon McGee on the No Pills Podcast as we unpack the viral clip of a 30-year-old single woman and dive into the complexities of modern dating!  Is being single at 30 a red flag, or is it an antiquated view of romance?  We discuss relationships, love, marriage, gender roles, and the importance of finding the right partner.  Is "falling out of love" real?  What does it mean to be content in singleness?  Tune in for a thought-provoking conversation on love, relationships, and finding your path!

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00:00 Introduction to the No Pills Podcast
00:23 Viral Clip: Single at 30
01:51 Discussion: Is Being Single at 30 a Red Flag?
03:50 Marriage and Modern Dating
04:44 The Importance of Careful Mate Selection
05:43 Singleness as a Valid Calling
07:28 The Role of Gender Roles in Relationships
15:40 The Concept of Falling Out of Love
19:58 Advice for Men on Choosing a Partner
24:42 Final Thoughts and Conclusion

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3, 2, 1. Well, welcome back to the No Pills podcast. Love fully scripted. I'm Gordon McGee, and today single at 30 30 and single, single, like a Pringle and ready to mingle. Now wait, where did this phrase, the same single, like a Pringle Comfort, just wondering. Anyway, I, I digress. Today we have a viral clip. Yes. Another clip that's gone viral online. A young lady who is 30 years old and is explaining why she is still single at 30. So we're gonna roll that beautiful footage on a Unpack it, wait, unpack it, get into it, unravel it, dissect it, look at it, and have some hopefully good conversations today on the No Pills Podcast, roll the footage. What's your age? I'm 30. Are you single? I am. Do you think it's a red flag that you're single at 30? Um, maybe to some people I'd had a long-term relationship for a while up until like a couple years ago, so, uh. I think that for some people that have a very antiquated sense of romance and modern dating, it's possible they could see it as a red flag. So why did you end that relationship? Uh, because we met when I was 19 and I grew into somebody that was very different than who I was at 19 years old. And the partner that I would've chosen at 28 was much different than the person that I had chosen at 19. And how long was this prior relationship? Eight years and it was just a matter of falling out of love and being somebody new and just wanting to explore life as an individual versus always having being tied to somebody. How do you approach dating now? It's not gonna be just anybody. It's gonna be the right person.'cause I'm extremely content being single and I have a certain level of peace that I'm not willing to sacrifice. Wow. I can hear, I can hear the, uh, comments from some of the men bellowing from the depths of the comment section. What type of woman needs is this that we are listening to? I know some of y'all, man, I know some of y'all think, what kinda woman, what did she just say? Is it a red flag to be single at 30, maybe? The, the, the honest question or the honest response to that question is maybe the next follow up question needs to be, why are you single? There's a lot of different factors there. Maybe they're widowed, I can relate to that. Maybe they actually did put school first and they've been in school. Possibility or are they just too picky how they've been now in their past relationships?'cause they haven't been looking to settle down and to practice monogamy. And so now, will they be able to practice monogamy going forward in the current relationship that you may want to enter into with them? I mean, these are some good questions to ask. Maybe some life alter, I mean, there's, there's a bunch of different reasons, but I think in general, on average, the, the consensus or sentiment or thought is out there in the worldwide web and on this planet. Is that a young attractive woman should be married fairly young and fairly early on in her life, and if not, what's wrong with her? Um, and I think that's coming from the perspective that. It's so much easier for women, uh, to be married or to have a suitor, a quarter, someone to come along and to be interested in them versus, or in contrast to maybe the more difficulty or the, the more difficult path and the fewer opportunities that a man may have because he needs to build himself up and get himself to a place where he would be able to support a family, uh, support a wife. Be a provider and a protector. Right, wrong, indifferent. I think there's some truth to that premise. Also, marriage. Marriage. Sometimes we forget because of how we treat marriage today, it's a sacred institution and not everybody, or lemme say this, no one should be looking to rush into. A sacred institution like marriage. I think we've gotten too loosey goosey with it, just like the owner's manual said it would be, and it shoved like it was in the days of Noah, they will be marrying and giving in marriage, right? It would just be get married, get divorced, get married, get divorced, take a wife, put a husband away. This is, this is what was prophesied in the owner's manual. So we are literally seeing a fulfillment of Bible prophecy. When we look at the condition of relationships in particularly marriage, in our day and age, so I'm not mad at somebody who's really being cautious about it, who's being prayerful, mindful, and not looking to make haste because haste makes waste. Friends, let us not forget that haste makes waste the importance of a careful mate selection. Let us not overlook that either. Okay? So you may be saying to yourself. Hey. Yeah. You, you're not married. Yeah, but I'm, I'm being very careful about my mate selection. I don't wanna be miserable. For the next 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years of my life. Potentially. If I, if I, I think if the good God, the good God of heaven gives me that long, I, I don't want to be suffering, miserable, unhappy discontented, can't do what God has called me to do because you and I, we can't get along. I mean, so let's not just act crazy, like, oh, everyone should just be married. Listen man, there are nutcases out here, there, there, there are people that Satan will put in your pathway. Mm. Just to bring you down. There, there's a spouse out there for you that is of God's choosing potentially and definitely one of Satan's choosing. Some of us may have forgotten this. Singleness can be a valid calling. Just wanna put that out there French. Not everyone is called to be married. I think in the general sense, yes, it is not good. That man should be alone. Isn't that what the onus manual says? For sure. But. There are some, I don't know what percentage, I don't know how many that have a calling to singleness and do very well in their singleness and are used mightily by God or a benefit to their community, their families, and their society because they've entered into the perfect will of God for them. Let us not forget that. Ultimately. Ultimately, when we ask this question, is it a red flag? If you are single, ultimately you just need to be in the center of God's will, period. If you find yourself in the center in God's will and your focus is on God's will, then you are right where you're supposed to be. No matter if you're single or you're married, no matter how old or young you are. Listen, I've heard of many of people just getting married in their later years. Especially those who have gone through, uh, you know, who are whittled, who had no plan of remarrying, WW found their person was with their person and have gone on to remarry and to have another person. I know it sounds crazy, but they go on to live good, healthy lives. You never know when every person's different. I think we've gotta be careful when we take a huge, broad brush and paint it. Everyone the same color. That's all I'm saying to you. Hmm. She used the word antiquated. She says antiquated sense of romance and modern dating. Some people may think it's a, that it's a red flag that I'm still single at 30. They have antiquated sense of romance in Martin dating. I, I wish I was there to ask her, did you mean gender roles? When you, when you, when you said old fashioned, did you mean marrying one person and staying with them forever? Is that what you meant? By antiquated, did you mean? Uh, not to be loose, goosey not to be sleeping around, is that old fashioned and I wanna challenge my listener today. Come on men. Come on ladies. Is antiquated, is old fashioned bad? What, what? What's bad about having gender roles? What's bad about marrying one person and staying with them forever? What's, what's bad about not going out there and giving your body away to every Tom, Dick and Harry? Come on. What's bad about waiting unto marriage? Is this what she meant by antiquated? I'm just curious, and let me put this on the record again. Fornication, sex outside of marriage per the owner's manual. Okay is wrong. Is a sin for a man or a woman equally? I know you never hear the word sin online. Never hear the word sin on these pod a sin on any of these podcasts. And let alone will you hear, man. Lemme talk to y'all man. Lemme talk to the men right now. In particular, all my men that watch. Listen, I know what other foolish men are telling you. Go out here and have all these wives and all these and some of them, oh man. And some of these men pretend to be to be religious. Pretend to be Christian. Pretend to be, pretend to be Islamic. Oh, go out here and just sleep around and maybe lemme tell you something, friends, men, lemme talk to you. My brothers do not follow that advice. Straight up. That is a sin man. That is Satan talking to you. Okay, you gonna mess around and die in your sins. Have 3, 4, 5 different girlfriends be out here and boop, die in your sins. Oh, I was listening so and so from all online. He was telling me that I needed to have a hundred wives and sleep with a hundred women and do all this stuff of foolishness. Yo man, that's a sin. I can't even believe that I have to, you know, I can't believe because Satan is real. Lemme as your brother in Christ, just because you are a man does not give you the license to go out and sleep without all these different women in fornicate and then turn around and be like, oh my goodness. It's only a sin for women to sleep around, but for men, it's So who, who started this nonsense? Who, who, who, who, who, who started this nonsense and yet has the nerve to have the word God come outta their mouth. Spirituality and spirit. Yeah. Okay. Well, the, the manual. Okay. The word of God. Says that sex outside of marriage for a man or a woman is sin, and you won't go into the kingdom of heaven. Let's keep it a buck, as they say. A stack. Come on, don't, don't get fooled. Friends, men, my brothers, don't get fooled by these lies, man. The enemy, man. Through these, uh, through these podcasters out here, man, could you imagine you paid somebody? To give you advice that's gonna lead you to being eternally lost. And you paid for it. You paid for another man to tell you how to be a better man, and his plan for you to be a better man was for you to sleep around and fornicate, and then be kept out of the kingdom of heaven. Make it make sense, and then had the nerve to give you some of that, some of that advice. In the name of God What? Welcome to the No Pills podcast friends love fully scripted, fully, fully scripted, beloved. Yeah. Glad you made it, man. Now she said antiquated. She said old fashioned. Mm. It may. It made to some antiquated old fashion now. I was there with her. I want to ask her, do you want your man to be a provider? Do you want your husband to be a a protector? Should he open doors for you? Should he treat you like a lady? Because that's old fashioned. So what part of old fashioned do you want to keep and what part of old fashioned do you wanna let go? Or what if it all has to come together? What if the women who are provided for protected, for and treated like a woman and who are actually doors are open for are women who are actually. Modest, who actually are submissive, who wanna support and love their husband and raise their children, not alone, but raise their children who actually want to be a mother. What if those old fashioned benefits to women are only applicable to women who are old fashioned still? It's so funny how we want to put antiquated old fashioned outputs. With modern inputs like some women, it is kind of interesting, like you only want the benefits without any of the sacrifice. Listen, friends, some of the things I'm talking about in that antiquated old fashioned world that are really good for us, it comes with sacrifice. Sacrifice. You may not be able to live out all your dreams in all the ways you want because you've exchanged it for something you found in value above that. Like a family to becoming one flesh with a person. You become something better than you were before you were married is what I'm saying. Something more powerful. Two friends, two are better than one for they have a good reward for their labor and if they fall, the one will help up his fellow, but wo to him that is alone when he fall, or we have not another to help him up on this manual. Don't miss. Do you wanna be provided for? Do you want to be protected? What about that intruder when he comes to the door? How do you feel about those antiquated gender roles when the burg is coming through the door? Ladies, talk to me. Let me know in the comments how, how do you feel about that? Or do you want some pansy, man, some flimsy get blown over like a leaf type man. Don't know. She was in a long-term relationship. Yes, she was long-term relationship for quite a while. Couple years, and then she ended it. How long was that relationship, France? Eight years. Eight years. Wow. Why did she end it? Quote? Because we met when I was 19 and I grew into somebody that was very different than who I was at 19 years old. The partner that I would have chosen at 28 was much different than the person that I would have chosen at 19. Duh. Like what? Alright, listen, I was married at 22, my wife was 20 at the time. Yes. You change over time. The 19-year-old you is not the 20-year-old you. The 20-year-old you is not the 30-year-old you, the 30-year-old you is not the 40-year-old you. But this is not a reason for separation. Like you're going to grow, you're gonna, my wife and I would also have these conversations like, man, us in our twenties, we were babies. We were babies. We thought we knew every, we didn't know what we didn't know, man. We thought we were mature adults at 20 and looking back when we got into our in the thirties, come on. You get past 20, you look back and go like, man, what was I doing? You're so naive in your twenties, you, you don't even have a good sense of who you are really yet fully in your twenties. But listen, there's a, there was a beautiful benefit to growing together in our twenties. Be like becoming one together. It came with its ups, it came with it, its downs. It came with its challenges, but man, yeah, I'm just, you know, at 19 I, I, I grew and I changed and now that I changed and I got older, I don't want to be with you anymore after eight years of being together. So she admits to breaking off the relationship after, man, if I was with a woman, let, lemme say, lemme talk to you ladies. If I was, if I was with you for eight years and you broke up with me because you had fallen outta love, I'd be mad friends. I mean, I praise the Lord. We weren't married, but you going, you wasted eight years of my life. That's almost 10 years. You gotta be kidding me. Listen, there's no such thing as falling out of love. Brother Gordon, why are you saying that? Because love is a choice. You choose to love somebody and when you no longer are loving them, you're choosing to no longer love them. Lemme give you some examples. Let's say you get married and your spouse gets into a terrible car accident and their face is disfigured. Are you still gonna love them? They get diagnosed with cancer. Are you still gonna love them? They lose a limb. Are you still gonna love them? They, they, they become depressed. Are you still gonna love them? I mean, for better or worse to death do us part, right? What is this falling outta love thing? Hear this all the time. Oh, I just fell outta love. You fall outta love with people. No, man. You choose to stop loving them. You both choose to stop working on the relationship. That's what really happens in all actuality. You both make a decision, or at least one of you make a decision. I'm not gonna work on the relationship anymore. Set me how I am. I don't care. I'm not gonna change me, me, me, self, self, self. I, I, I, and maybe the other person's like, man, I ain't, I'm not, no, I'm not stinking around. I'm not sticking around for this. This is crazy. You're so selfish. It's driving me nuts. Or you both are in that pocket, you're both in that space where I'm just not gonna change. I'm not gonna compromise my way or the highway. Or you get bored, ladies, come on. Or you get bored. The grass looks greener there. There's probably a hundred other reasons why people separate or why women for the most part, are the majority of the persons filing for the divorce in the marriage, and it's not falling out of love, beloved. You know, it's like we're we, we we're blaming love. For our divorces, we're blaming love for our separations. When you separate friends, that's a you problem or that's a them problem. It's an I problem, a self problem that's not being dealt with. I guarantee you, I. Eight years together. She said she's just fallen outta love. She was somebody new and just wanting to explore life as an individual, she said, versus always having, being tied to somebody. Oh, listen, when I got married, I, I wanted to do everything with my best friend, my wife. Come on, somebody talk to me out there. What is this foolishness I'm hearing from this young lady? I, we were one flesh. To not go somewhere with her. Did not seem right. Who's gonna laugh with me? Who's gonna joke with me? Who am I gonna say, man? Did you see that? Did you notice that over there? Did you? What? What? Yo, what's going on? My yo on my yo. Is this how we're thinking in our thirties now? This is my, this is my best friend, my spouse, best friend, like ride or die. Loved being around her, loved talking to her, loved chatting with like everything. What? And listen, friends, one day they may be gone. You may have the unfortunate, bittersweet experience like I did to lose your wife or your spouse one day. Hmm. And then you'll be saying to yourself, man, I didn't hold their hand enough. I didn't hug them enough. I didn't say I love you enough. I didn't sit with you enough. I didn't take enough walks with you, didn't sit and talk about nothing and whisper sweet. Nothing's in your ear enough. Just wanting to explore life as an individual. Is this cold for saying, I just wanna go out there and sleep around? I wish I was there. Answer this question. I'm questioning it. How do you approach dating now? She was asked. Mm, she responds. It's not just gonna be anybody. Okay. Okay. It's gotta be the right person because I'm extremely content being single. Be careful. I'm extremely content being single and I have a certain level of peace. I'm not willing to sacrifice. Mm, don't know men. Alright fellas, lemme give you some flags here. Some things that I've observed, some things that you should know, ladies is first one, you're not gonna like it, okay? Even my female listeners, even my Christian female listeners, all my Christians, you're not gonna like what I'm gonna say here, but men listen up. Okay? First flag with this young lady that I see is her attire. First flag, big flag, large flag, gigantic flag. Now, some of you not gonna have the same convictions, but when I see this, I'm reminded. I'm reminded. There's a principle out there, the outward appearance, the outward adorns are the index to the mind and the heart friend, men, if you avoid this council, I don't feel sorry for you. I don't care what circles you're in. You've, you've man, listen, I'm talking about if it's at the gym, if it's in the street, if it's at the library, the mall, I don't care where you are. If a woman is out here feeling comfortable to show her body off to everybody is wild. And if you think that's the wife for you, yo, you are a fool. If you think somebody that's got got no shame. Doesn't mind having there, but JJ out for everybody to see. And if you think that's your wife, if you look at that and go, Ooh, wifey material, boobs out, breast out, thighs out. And you go, Hmm, there goes a wife. Or are you just in your flesh? We've gotta be able to make the distinction, man, right, because we're visual creatures. So you'll see a woman who naked, oh yeah, let's woo. Let's go. Woo. But it's like, man, is that your wife? Do you respect her? Come on. Do you respect her? Are you just thinking like, oh yeah, I just wanna sleep with her. We've gotta be converted gentlemen. We've got, we've gotta be converted, man. We've gotta elevate. Get above our flesh. Yeah. We've gotta get above the cardinal nature and put on the nature of Christ. Mm-hmm. The mind of Christ. First flag Brothers. I'm looking at that like, nah, this ain't the one. Listen, this young, this young lady's attractive. She can definitely be in a relationship. Why is she not in one? Mm-hmm. Because she prizes her peace and doing things by herself. I don't, does she really have time space for you? Come on. Men stop looking at the physical stop looking at the body. Stop looking at the face and start listening. Start listening. She's straight telling you, look, I prized my peace above everything else. I could probably be with all these men. Has she had any proposals before? And if she did, why did she say no? These are the questions that I'm asking. These are the things I wanna know. Mm-hmm. Have you gotten any proposals? Well, why did you say no? Hmm? What happened there? What's going on with you? Men. Let's, uh, it goes for my women too. Let's pick the right ponds to be fishing in. Yeah. Some of y'all online be killing me. Yo, man, there ain't nothing out here. But all these women are just losing. They're for the streets. They're no good. Yo, bro, you, you, you're at a major city. On some strip with us all drinking nightclubs, everybody walking around naked. Just a place of debauchery and fornication, and you're trying to get a wife from the lands of hams. Oh man. Go to an art gallery, brother. Go to church. Go to church. Go find Jesus. Give your life to Christ. Go to church beloved. I mean, this being out in the streets calling women. You. Yes. That's that. If it walk like a duck, talk like a duck. Hmm. It's probably a duck. Why are you trying to turn apples into oranges? Why are you out here trying to kiss frogs and turn them into princes? Ladies, let talk to me. Oh, all men cheat. Yeah, you, you are going to places where there's cheating men. With. I just, I can't. I can't. Why are we in the wrong ponds? The lake has all bass in it and you in there trying to get snapper. I'm just saying, man, this is crazy. I don't know what fish, I don't know. Are snappers in lakes or there ain't rivers? I don't know. But you get what I'm saying. You get what I'm saying? I don't know what a fish are. She broke off an eight year relationship because she changed. What will she do at the 10 years of marriage? Flag? Flag? And I'll leave you with this last one. This is a grown woman sucking on the lollipop out in public. Was that, was that a flag? This is a thing online. This is a whole discussion online. If grown people should be looking lollipops out in public or at all, you know, eating suckers and doing like, is that a flag? If you walk, you walk up on a man? Ladies, if you woke up on a grown man and he's sucking a lollipop, eating a lollipop, are you, are you interested, gentlemen? If you run up on a grown woman sucking a lollipop? Hmm, it's not telling you anything. Let me know down in the comments. Let's fight this out, down in the comments. Be polite. Please be polite, but let me know if lollipops are a flag or not. My name is Gordon McGee. This is the No Pills Podcast. Love fully scripted, and I'm signing off, and I will catch you next week.