No Pillz with Gordon McGhee

Can AI Really Help You Find Love After 30? Ep 72

• Gordon McGhee

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Are you in your 30s and navigating the complexities of dating? In this episode of The No Pills Podcast, Gordon McGee dives into the fascinating question: Can artificial intelligence actually help you find love? We explore the rising trend of AI girlfriends, sparked by a viral article in The Hill titled "AI Girlfriends are ruining an entire generation of men."

We unpack the surprising statistics revealing that over 60% of young men aged 18-30 are single, and one in five report having no close friends – a number that has quadrupled in the last 30 years. Could AI offer a solution or is it part of the problem?

Gordon shares highlights from the article and offers his insightful perspective, drawing wisdom from unexpected sources, including Gemini AI and even "the owner's manual." We tackle realistic expectations in dating, the importance of shared values, and embracing the humor in awkward situations.

We delve in to the question AI & Dating in Your 30s: Can Artificial Intelligence Help You Find Love?

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00:00 Introduction and Welcome
00:11 AI and Modern Love: A Controversial Perspective
00:37 The Rise of AI Girlfriends
01:18 The Loneliness Epidemic Among Young Men
02:23 Can AI Help You Find Real Love?
02:54 Gemini's Advice on Finding Love in Your Thirties
03:56 Know Yourself and What You Want
06:40 Update Your Approach to Dating
10:08 Where to Meet People
14:47 Mindset and Self-Care
18:00 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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In 3, 2, 1. Welcome back, beloved. I'm Gordon McGee, and this is The No Pills podcast. Love fully scripted. And today, can AI help you find love in your thirties? Is it possible? Well, there is a opinion contributor over at the Hill who may disagree. That AI can actually help you find love in your thirties. They put out an article with the headline, AI Girlfriends are ruining an entire generation of men. And that was on 9 26 23. Here's some of the highlights from that article. Uh, there is a rise of virtual artificial intelligence. Girlfriends, AI girlfriends, friends, if you haven't heard this, now you have these virtual girlfriends can even be based on real people. One influencer created an AI bot of herself named Karen, then gained over a thousand users, IE, real boyfriends, real life boyfriends, and less than a week and a waiting list. She has a wait list of more than 15,000 people. What's going on in our world, boys? Well, if you're having that same question or asking yourself that same question right now, here is some of the facts that may have you, and I understand why this is even a thing. More than 60% of young men ages 18 to 30 are single compared to only 30% of women of the same age. One in five men report not having a single close friend. A number that has quadrupled in the last 30 years. The amount of social engagement with friends dropped by 20 hours per month over the pandemic and is still decreasing. Then the article goes on to say, these young men are lonely and it is having real consequences. They are choosing AI girlfriends over real women, meaning they do not have relationships with real women. Don't marry them, and then they don't have any. Or have to raise any babies with them. America desperately needs people to have more babies, but all the signs are pointing toward fewer relationships, fewer marriages, and fewer babies. There have been 600,000 fewer births in 2023 in the US relative to 15 years ago. The number of children per women has decreased by more than 50% in the last. 60 years, but I still ask the question, can AI help you find love in your thirties? And I'm not talking about an artificial girlfriend, an AI girlfriend. I'm talking about can AI actually help you find a real life flesh and blood spouse? So here's what I did. Here's what I did. I got on my computer. I asked Gemini this question. I asked the artificial intelligences question how to find love in your thirties. Question mark. Enter and friends, I would like to share those results with you just now. Gemini is pretty optimistic. Lemme tell you that right from the jump. This, uh, AI is very, very optimistic. Quote, finding love in your thirties can feel different from dating in your twenties. I agree with the ai, but it's definitely achievable. Okay. Being positive, exclamation point. Definitely achievable. The AI is seeing the glass as half full, not half empty. Come on, you gotta love that. Come on, you're likely more self-aware and know what you want, which can be a real advantage. Here's a breakdown of how to navigate finding love in this decade. Now, let me know down in the comments if you've done this yourself. Be honest. Let me know if you have gotten online, gotten to chat, GPT or Gemini or some of, and you've typed in how to find love in my thirties, how not to be single. Just just be honest with the prompts. Let me know if you've done this. All right. Now, Gemini gave me back four main points, four approaches here of how to navigate, one, know yourself and what you want. Two, update your approach to dating. Three, where to meet people. Four. Mindset and self care. I like this. I mean, man. AI is getting busy right now. Alright. Under know yourself in what you want. We were instructed by Gemini to do this. Reflect on past relationships. What did you like, what did you, what didn't work? Note any patterns to help you identify what you're looking for. Now, I will note this, that past relationship may be the very thing keeping you single right now. Come on, talk to me. Just being honest, but I like this. Pull the good and the bad outta any of your past relationships. I will say this, hopefully you're not out here dating, but you're out here courting. Come on. That, that, that you're just not out here giving it away. You know, give, just letting the milk flow everywhere. You gotta buy the cow French. Don't give the milk away for free. Don't never buy the cow. Ladies, sorry to liken you to uh uh, uh. Animal a man will that choose cu and has four stomachs. But you get what I'm saying. You get what I'm saying? I like this. Gemini is starting out on a very good point. Very, very good foot, pardon me. Uh, not that she has feet, but being positive, Glass's half full and then says, Hey, man, take, go back. Analyze your past relationship. See what you like, see what you didn't like. And then make, make the applications. Okay? Define your values and non-negotiables. Come on man. This is crazy. This is stuff that I share here. Encourage people to do here at no pills. Love fully scripted. Define your values. You gotta have some values, man. What are your non-negotiables? What are the core principles you need in a partner in a relationship? What are the deal breakers? Let's go. Let's not waste each other's time. I. You want babies? I don't want babies. I want babies. You don't want babies. Let's just talk it out very quick. Why? Why are we going? Why go on a date with a person when you're not even aligned on children? Why go on a date with a person when you may want them to stay home and they wanna work? Why go on a date with a person? Come on. Who? Who doesn't believe in God? And you believe in God? Why go on a date with a person who believes in having multiple partners and you don't? I mean. You just wasting your time if you're not, if you're gonna be scared to ask the hard questions upfront. And again, please stop dating and start recording. Alright. Be clear about your intentions. Hot dog. I feel like I'm listening to myself right now. Okay. Gemini, are you looking for something casual? A long term relationship or a marriage? Honesty. Gemini. Artificial intelligence is telling us honesty from the start saves time and prevents mismatched expectations. Hot dog. I've seen it all. Friends. Okay, next. Number two, update your approach to dating. Mm. Be intentional. Date with a purpose. Don't just go through the motions, courtship. I, I, I wish Gemini. Just, just, just say it, Gemini. Just use the word courtship. Come on. Just use it. Friends. Prioritize compatibility over just chemistry. While attraction is important, friends, shared values like life goals. Mutual respect are crucial for lasting relationships. I, this is AI saying this French. Communicate openly and honestly express your needs and boundaries clearly. Maturely. Discuss any issues that arise. Maturely talking to you, talking to you right now. Mm-hmm. Be vulnerable. Oh, we got artificial intelligence telling us to be vulnerable. Allow yourself to be open and genuine with potential partners. Mm-hmm. Oh, somebody's getting to work right now. Someone's getting work right now. Let go of the past. Ooh, it's artificial intelligence. Let go of the past. Don't let previous heartbreaks or negative experiences cloud your judgment or make you guarded. Some of y'all need therapy or you need to listen to Gemini. I don't know. You need God in your life first. Building a meaningful connection takes time. Don't rush the process. Come on, haste makes waste. That's what we say over here. Avoid grilling every date to see if they fit a checklist. Now, I, I wanna encourage you, I wanna improve on this little step here from Gemini. You, you're probably better off being able to find a person within the community. A subset group that you're already in that shares your, your, your, your similar values or, or shares your values, period. This will, will aid, I think, greatly in expediting that process. And you'll be able to approach the relationship, um, in a meaningful way with said checklists because we, we, you're both gonna be on the same page. Like, you know what you're there for, you know what you're already looking for. Get it together. You know, the, the Mormons out there. I'm not talking about maybe the French group that's have his multiple polygamy on it, but, but Mormons, Amish, um, these are some of the groups I I think about, uh, Arabic, uh, nations, cultures, peoples, uh, it's like people that are traditional in their approach to courtship, then leading into marriage. They're not going through the same dramas, ups and downs. Let let downs that. Like North Americans are going through what our, our approach with, with, with this dating thing versus this courtship thing. And I'm not saying that those, those cultures are free from any ills or woes in the area of romance, but they're not having, uh, I think the North American experience challenge shoulds. Timelines. Okay. The shoulds and the timelines, quote unquote, forget societal pressure or what your friends are doing. Focus on your own journey and at your pace. Come on, haste makes waste. That's what we say. I like that. I like that. God's timing, friends. Is the timing, not your timing, not your mama's timing, not your daddy's timing, grandmother, your families. No. What? Timeline does God have you on? That's the only timeline that matters. If he wants you married at 20 something, you'd be married at 20 something. If he wants to preserve you to 30 for someone else, hey man, as the Lord would have it. Number three, where to meet people, friends again. This is, this is, this is AI schooling us right now. This is AI school schooling us right now. Online dating apps. That's one option. Friends. Okay. Get to know, get to know them. Know, know the differences. Know which ones are hookup apps and which ones are not. Hookup apps. This is what I'm saying to you friends. All right. eHarmony, hinge, Bumble match. You know, it goes down the list here. All right. Often recommended for those seeking commitment in their thirties. That's what it is. People are meeting online. Yeah. You know, I'm not a fan of that, but, you know, be mindful and intentional with your profile. Come on, get some of this. Some of you, you cat fishers out there. Told you Christians too, Christians be lying. God have mercy on your souls. Some of you Christians be lying picture beef like like 30 years ago, 10 years ago. You got another 20 pounds on makeup filters talking about you love Jesus. Thou shall not walk, thou shall not defraud. Be mindful and intentional with your profile. Clearly state what you are looking for. Use good quality, fo fo photos and engaging prompts. And don't be lying. Don't linger in the chatting face. Aim to meet in person relatively quickly to see if there's a real connection. Yeah. What I would say with that, man, get, get the virtual phone call going on. Yeah, let's do that. First, let's lay some eyes on you. Make sure you're a real person. Make sure that you that, that you said you're a he and you're a he. You said you were she and you were she. Come on man. Talk to me. Talk to me. Not with it. Beloved. Experiment with different apps. What works well can vary depending on your location. And preface. I have no idea how much these apps cost, but uh, the advice seems pretty sound right here. I'm not gonna hate on it. If you're going down that path, then the next way to meet people is in real life. IRL. How about that? I know in real life, well, who would've thought, uh, tap into your social circle. Ask friends for setups. They know you well and might know someone compatible. Listen, lemme tell you something, I've never thought about this actually asking someone to set you up, or if they have somebody in mind. Usually, most people, we hate the idea of what we, what the world would call, quote unquote a blind date. But, you know, within a right community of believers, Hmm. Like, you know, I, I have a community of that who share common values, uh, sa same aspects of faith. Like, yeah, that, that would probably be some good folks to ask. Hey man, do you know anybody that, that you think I could, that would, it's a good match for me. I feel like this one kind of went, went past my head. I mean, man, I got ai schooling me. Um, pursue your hobbies and interests. Join classes, clubs, or leagues related to things you enjoy. I say this all the time. Some of you like softball. You should be a part of a softball team. This is a great way to meet like-minded people. Okay. Attend social events, even if it's outside of your comfort zone. Try going to gatherings or networking events. Come on, consider volunteering. You know what's so crazy? I think I've never mentioned it, mentioned this on the podcast, but I've told friends this all the time in my religious circle, like, Hey, that are single. My single friends. I'm like, well, you know, if you wanna meet somebody godly, then going on mission trips. Actually going out into the Lord's Vineyard and doing the work is probably a good time or increases the potential of you meeting someone who's on the same wavelength as you, has a similar expression as faith of faith as you'cause if you're sincerely there. Okay, let me, let me, let me, let me clarify this. I'm not saying to go on the mission trip in order to find a spouse, but I'm saying if you actually live for Christ and you're actually out in the field doing the work, there is a good potential that you can meet a like-minded believer who's also doing the same work and is also willing to make the same sacrifices and do the same work of volunteering as yourself, and you may be aligned. So if you actually live out your faith and, and, and, and be who you say you are and, and live what you say you believe, you may be able to meet somebody that God has appointed for you. Okay? I'm not saying use this as a hookup site, hookup culture, but uh, when I say hookup, I don't mean fornication. Obviously in this context about actually meeting someone le leading into courtship. But go volunteer man. Go Volunteer. Number four, mindset and self-care. Just wanna remind you, again, this is coming from artificial intelligence. AI is doing this for us Gemini. This is AI schooling, us practice self-care. A happy and relax you is more attractive. This is true. Make time for activities you enjoy. Come on, come on. Get, get swimming. Go out there. Do a couple laps, do hiking, painting. Get into it. Friends. Be confident and authentic. Yeah, we can just like cut out all the cosmetics, man. The fake lips. The fake butts. The fake breasts. The fake. The lift. The nips, the tucks. Come on man. Be authentic, be you. Embrace your corks and experiences. Authenticity is attractive. I don't know why so often we want to go out there and change who we are. Then attract a person that we're not even gonna, like, who's not even gonna be attracted to the real you. You've gone and changed yourself to such a degree that now you've, you've, you've attracted a person who's attracted to the fake you, to this false you and not the person you truly are, man, be you. If you are a nerd, be a nerd, man. Embrace it. You're religious. Be religious. Embrace it. Don't be ashamed of who you are, man. Don't be ashamed to be into what you're being into if, if it's morally right, take rejection in stride, man. This is a ai. Not everyone will be a match. Hello, hello. And that's okay. It's part of the process. Now listen, rejection always hurts to some degree. You know what I mean? There's always some level of just let down and disappointment. But if you're trusting the process, if you're trusting the owner's manual, okay? If you're trusting the manufacturer that's telling you, no, this person may be attractive, this person may be funny, this person may be, uh, really social, a social butterfly, but not the person for you. You guys don't align when it comes to marriage. You gotta say amen and thank you Lord. All right? And just take that to God in prayer, okay? Have realistic expectations. Hot dog, no one is perfect. Focus on shared values and genuine connection over a long checklist. No one is perfect. Mm, realistic expectations. He's gotta be six feet tall. He's gotta have a six pack. Gotta make six figures. Gotta be good. And listen, what does God want for you? Who does God want for you? If anybody laugh through it, artificial intelligence. Gemini is telling you and me to laugh through it. I can't. I can't get over this. Dating can be awkward. Embrace the humor and don't take every misstep too seriously. Consider therapy and coaching if need be. Oh man. If you're struggling, a professional can offer guidance and support, man, get back to that owner's manual. I'm trying to tell you, don't settle out of desperation. It's better to be single than in an unhealthy or unfulfilling relationship. Wow. Here's my conclusion. Friends, artificial intelligence has more sense. Than human beings in their thirties and forties when it comes to finding love Facts. This, this is some pretty solid counsel man instruction. How to come on and let me, let me, let me read you something. Let me leave you with these words from the owner's manual. A man's heart devisive his way, but the Lord Yahweh directive his steps trust. The Lord with all thy heart, lean not into thy own understanding. In all thy ways, acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths. This is Gordon McGee from The No Pills podcast. Love fully scripted. I'm signing off and I will catch you next week.