No Pillz with Gordon McGhee

7 ESSENTIAL Tips for Christian Courtship & Finding Your Spouse Ep 75

• Gordon McGhee • Season 2 • Episode 75

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Looking for your lifelong partner, even in your 30s?  Gordon McGee of The No Pills Podcast shares 7 invaluable tips for a successful Christian courtship that leads to a healthy marriage. Avoid the trap of marrying the wrong person by applying these essential principles to your courtship journey.

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In 3, 2, 1. Welcome back, beloved. I am Gordon McGee, and this is The No Pills podcast, love fully scripted. And today you wanna find a spouse, even in your thirties, want to find that relationship. The one I have seven tips for courtship for you. Let's get into it. Here we are, single alone, and listening to these seven tips and tip number one. This one should go without saying, but you might overlook this one because maybe you're not thinking about it at this level. Be cautious. I mean, be cautious in forming relationships in general across the board. Now, follow my logic here. Birds of a feather flock together. So what's your flock looking like these days? Because there's a good possibility that your spouse may derive out of your friend group. So if you're living in fellowshipping and hanging out with low lives, this increases the chances that you might actually be end up getting married to a low life. Let's make sure we're putting good people around us at all times. Does this make sense? And listen, if you're a young Christian out there, or man, when it comes to the Christian youth, you should exercise great care in forming friendships, in choosing companions, ensuring. Listen to me, young people, ensuring that what appears to be good is genuinely. So you need to be looking out for the fakes, for the imposters, for the hypocrites, for the two face, because sometimes friends become lovers. Alright, tip number two. Tip number two, you wanna seek God's approval. A sincere Christian to all my Christians out there, a sincere Christian. I'm talk to all my Christians out there. I'm talking to you. A sincere Christian will only pursue marriage with the knowledge that God approves. Friends, they won't choose for themselves, but will allow God to choose for them. Now, you may be asking yourself, what does that look like? Practically praying, you bathing this thing in prayer. Friends, you, you are doubling down on prayer. You've gotta make sure your ears are attuned to hear God's voice. Secondly coming up. Be right behind that providence as you're praying, you are looking for, provides for God to open and shut doors in regards to said relationship or the person that you are interested in. Alright, praying for discernment while you're in this state of prayer. All right. This constant state of prayer now, you know as you should have already been already, but nevertheless, you gotta keep it. Keep your ear to the ground. Or I should say maybe to the clouds. Keep your ears to the clouds. Principles from God's word. You're looking for this relationship to be based upon principles you find in God's words can two altogether except they be agreed what businesses darkness have with light. You get what I'm saying? We've covered these verses plenty of times here on the podcast.'cause you know why? It's the owner's manual. The Bible is the owner's manual. The manufacturer is God friends, and you can't improve on God. Talk to them. Yes. Alright. So you wanna make sure that you're allowing God to hear God's voice through prayer, through providence, through principles and God's words, and through Godly friends. Okay. You wanna make sure that flock, as we spoke about in tip number one, you've got a good, healthy flock around you that you trust who are moral individuals, who are of a moral, a high moral, uh, persuasion. Okay, who know the difference between right and wrong, who wanna encourage you to do the best you can and be the best person you can be, and you could trust their input. On this, uh, you know, suitor to make sure and potential spouse or wife to make sure that they are up to par when it comes to God's word. Sometimes friends, we can be infatuated. We can not see things clearly. This is why in the multitude of counselors, there is wisdom. Seek God's approval. Number three. Tip number three, seek parental approval. I know you saying Brother Gordon, what are you saying? I'm a grown person. I know. I know. You're grown. I know you're in your thirties, late twenties. I know. Yeah. 40 I I know. But if you've been privileged to have been brought up by God-fearing parents, why would you not want their input and advice? No matter how old you are, if you have halfway decent parents who, who are, who are, who are not just savages. And they've got more life experience than you, or especially if they have a successful marriage, why would you not want to glean and take input from them in regards to a person, a potential spouse who you plan to be with for all life until one of you dies? Pride maybe. Maybe pride prevents us from wanting to get the parental input and parental guidance that would probably benefit a lot of us, lot of lots of us, or a lot of us. Now, if. You don't have parents. Let's say both your parents have passed away or you're estranged from your parents. Then any godly person, any that you could find that you can respect, any person has a successful marriage, be willing to take some input from them. Now, here's the thing. They're not choosing for you. No, but you want to just make sure you're seeing things correctly, right? You want to be able to bounce. Your ideas and your thoughts off of them to say, Hey, do you see what I'm seeing? Do you not see what I'm seeing? Some things that I, that I have not noticed that I should be noticing in the multitude of counselors. Again, friends, there is wisdom. You cannot go wrong with this. And let me say this before we move on to our next tip. Mothers and fathers have a duty to guide their children's affections. Towards suitable companions, friends molding the character. Yes. Molding their character to attract the good and the true. Does that make sense? Amen. Amen. You have a responsibility to encourage your children to be attracted and to attract the right PE people and persons in their lives, so that doesn't stop just because they become adults. Amen. If there's good relationship there, if you are, if your child is willing to take advice and counsel from you, then by all means, this is what you're here for. This is part of your job. Amen. And being a parent on to our next tip. Choose carefully, not hastily. Okay. Make haste slowly. Friends, the decision to marry should involve serious friends, and I mean serious and earnest reflection in prayer. Why you say? Because this thing is gonna significantly impact. Your life. Now here's what happens. I think in today's society, we just say, oh, we'll just get divorced. Ha ha. Let me say something to you, friends, you are gonna mess around. Get United connected with the person, end up divorcing them, and that's gonna change you for the rest of your life, maybe for the bad. Whereas had you taken your time, not made haste, you would've avoided. A marriage that you ended up walking away from and all the baggage and scars that go along with that. Are you following me? A lot of times I think we just think that we're gonna be able to get into a marriage and leave unscathed because the law says that we can divorce. Satan's like, yeah, no, you're not. Love that. That you think that because you're gonna come in here and you're gonna be changed forever. You're not gonna be the same person when you leave this thing. And most of the times it's for the worse, not for the better. You end up broken all over the place. Had you just slowed down in order to speed up, you would've made a better, wiser, more informed decision. Choose carefully, not hastily. All right, next tip. Those of you who are contemplating marriage should consider the character. You heard me, the character and influence of the home that you're going to create. Right. What's gonna, what's gonna be the, you know, it's like, it's like being at your job. You know, you get the wrong people assembled at, at, at, at a job at your workplace, and they don't get along the, it's like to, it's like a, the toxicity level is off the charts. You go and you don't want to be there because the atmosphere is no good. This is the same thing about your home. You gotta be, you gotta be saying to yourself, is this per, will me and this person come together as a team? And will the characteristics and the nature of our home be uplifting? Will it be positive? Will it be beneficial to ourselves and to society, and most importantly, to our children? Come on. A lot of times we don't think from that perspective or vantage point, we just think, oh. Do I like this person or do I love this person? We're not thinking about will we actually make a good family together? Will we actually raise decent children? God feeling children, God-fearing children, will, will they be helpful in, in, in the communities in which we live? Or will they just be, uh, a menace to society? Because I, I, I married their parent who is a menace to society. You know, ladies always like those bad boys gonna be raising little demons. Think about this. Seriously, what will be the atmosphere of your home? What will that be like with you two becoming one flesh? Next, you want to ensure compatibility. Uh, we just spoke about this, uh, on one of my other podcasts, or I just spoke about this, where I mentioned that you do not want to allow physical intimacy and touch and sex. To be cloud and muddy your reasoning and cognitive abilities. You don't want to be so wrapped up in this person physically that you're not able to see if there's actually compatibility. Okay? Couples should have the opportunity to truly get to know each other's habits and dispositions before marriage friends, so you can avoid future unhappiness. Some good advice, you know, uh, as far as how long one should court, you know, if you, if you wanna be around this person, at least in every season, you know, maybe I'll put it, that's the, you know, a good, a good rule of thumb for, you know, maybe not everyone falls into this category, but see him in the winter, the spring, the fall, you know, see him in all seasons. That'll give you opportunity to, to, to recognize if there's any dispositions or habits that you just can't tolerate, don't blend well with your dispositions and habits, and it just doesn't work out. That's, that's what you wanna do. This way it allows you, when you, when you, when you court for a little longer, it allows you to see one another. Indifferent situations that may arise, right? Good times, bad times. Loss of life, family member, loss of job. Who knows? Locking happened in a year. Friends locking happened in a few months. Few days. So you want to ensure the compatibility by giving it time, alright? Not having sex before marriage, and actually being involved in a courtship where the intention. Is to get married. If there is compatibility and God approves and we make a good team. Our last tip and which, which, which is one that I think we sometimes overlook because we're so infatuated with beauty. We're so infatuated with looks. How tall, uh, how much money? All you know, all the physicality. All the monetary, uh, um, idolatry that goes on, and we, and we overlook character, friends. Your potential spouse's character. Hmm. What, what, how, how do they see life? I. Do they think this is the only life? Did they believe in eternity? Did they believe in the resurrection? Do they believe in in, in Socrates and philosophy and like all these things impact their character. How do they live? How do they spend money? Are they thrifty? Are they industrious? Are they able to provide for a family? What is the character of your potential spouse? How do they manage difficult situations? How do they approach all the difficulties of life, the ups and downs, the hills, the valleys? You need time to be able to observe these things. A lot of times we get infatuated with one another. We start to have all this physical touch, and the character, the compatibility all goes out the window because it's all overshadowed by superficial. Aspects, which makes us vulnerable to fall into a trap of being married to the wrong person, which can happen. Friends, it's happening every day, every minute, every moment. And you do not want to be one of those people. So be cautious in forming all relationships in your life, whatever they may be, whatever they may be. Seek God's approval. Seek parental guidance when possible, and if not, then get it from another person who you believe is Godly. Okay? Choose carefully, not hastily. Consider the future home. Ensure compatibility, and do not forget. To consider the character of your potential spouse. I'm Gordon McGee. This is the No Pills podcast. Love fully scripted. I'm signing off and I will catch you next week.