No Pillz with Gordon McGhee

5 ESSENTIAL TIPS for Single Christian Women | Attract a Godly Husband

• Gordon McGhee • Season 2 • Episode 80

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Are you a single Christian woman seeking a godly husband?  In this episode of The No Pills Podcast, host Gordon McGee shares five crucial tips to help you attract the right man and build a Christ-centered relationship.  Drawing from his own experiences as a man who was married for almost 20 years , Gordon offers insights on what men truly value.

Learn why avoiding "thirst traps" and immodest online content is vital for attracting a godly man, and how your outward appearance speaks volumes. Discover the importance of modesty, not as a weakness, but as an awareness of your true worth as a queen. This episode also tackles common pitfalls like rejecting single Christian fathers, engaging in "situationships," and dating outside your denomination.

Gordon emphasizes the importance of clear intentions in dating, avoiding emotional rollercoasters, and setting healthy boundaries. He strongly advises against dating someone from a different denomination due to potential conflicts in core beliefs, parenting, and lifestyle.

Tune in for powerful, scriptural advice designed to help you find a truly equally yoked partner in Christ.

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And 3, 2, 1. Welcome back. I'm Gordon McGee and this is The No Pills Podcast, love fully scripted. And today five tips. Five tips for every single Christian woman on planet Earth. Here are five things that you should know, need to know. Gonna put you in the know. So let's go. Alright. My sisters in Christ. We are here. I'm glad that you made it. Shout out to everyone who's been following the podcast up until this point. Appreciate all the support, all the love. Uh, thank you for the comments, for all the shares, everything you got going on. So appreciate you so much for that. Let me just state that ladies, lemme talk to you, lemme talk to you. My, my, my Proverbs 31 women. Mm-hmm. Let me just begin by saying I am a man. Alright. I was married for almost 20 years. Lost my dear wife to cancer a little over four years ago. We met at, uh, what we, 2018 and 20, got married at 20 and 22. Was not a perfect marriage. I was not a perfect person, perfect spouse. My wife was not perfect, but we stayed married for quite a long time. And I was single before that and I was not in the Lord before that, and I was fornicating before that. And I want to just let you know what men really value, what we really think we really have going on. And I wanna give you five tips as a Christian woman, uh, that you should follow and that you should know and should help you out. As I have just been watching, observing, gleaning, seeing some things online that I think are not productive. To you finding a godly man, a godly husband, a house band, you know what I mean? Number one on my list. Do not post thirst traps online posting pictures or videos online of you giving Bible studies with your cleavage out and your breast in the screen. Uh, this is not. Going to attract the godly husband. You say you want, let me say something about the male mind. All right? I don't know if many male minds show be vary to some degree, but the moment a woman is leading with the flesh, that's it, we, you have now been placed in a category, even if not verbalized that Oh yeah, this is, she's fleshly. And make an intellectual decision that this is not the type of woman I wanna marry. Most women who don't respect themselves in their outward appearance, it t translates to the man and he knows like, yeah, this is not wifey material. Right? So even if he has having a hard time containing himself in his flesh, and while he may speak to you and may entertain you. Will he marry you? This is not giving you the right type of presentation that you wanna have online when you're meeting randoms online.'cause it's gonna happen. You're gonna be drawing the type of attention you don't want. Lemme give you another example. Posting, uh, these Get Ready with me videos. Apparently this is a thing I hadn't been watching any, but I heard, I saw someone else speaking about this on TikTok, uh, content that begins with you in your undergarments. As you're getting ready to go to church, Lord have mercy. Why would a woman of God ever, ever post a video of her in her underwear? For men and women to see, claiming, purporting to be a Christian, getting ready to go to church, to go, praise the Lord. Cover thy nakedness. If you are doing this, I, I want to, as, as a sister, as your brother in Christ, I wanna help you let you know, stop, cut it out. This is the type of bait you don't want to use. This will attract and continue to attract the wrong Christian men. In your life. It's your big brother talking to you. I'm sure your father would not be happy. Your brother would not be happy. Don't, your mother would not be happy. Don't do it. Here's a thought for you. If you haven't thought about this, you have not. As a Christian woman, you have not gotten the consent of me, your brother in Christ to do this, right? So a lot of times that I think women fail to realize. While we want this freedom, while they want this freedom to dress and wear whatever they want, but if we're in public spaces like beach, you expect for people to walk around naked. There, just part of our culture. We understand that. But at the grocery store, you, you know, we're not really expecting, you know, tar, you know, Wally world, you know, you're not really expecting, you know, a restaurant. Expecting to walk into a place and see a woman in her undergarments without your PR permission or consent. So no different than how we can, uh, the man, a male can harass, give sexual advances towards a woman unsolicited. Just, no. That's the same thing that happens to men visually. Right. So in other words, you're supposed to be a Christian woman, but you're just trapping me, spraying it on me, this sexual immorality like, like, I don't want to see your nakedness. I I want only your husband to see your body. I don't wanna see your body. I wanna respect you as my sister in Christ. I wanna respect your future husband or your current husband, God forbid. Just you are, you are, you are like raping the male mind you, you, you are violating the male mind without his consent. It's not like he went. On a page somewhere, clicked a button, said yes, head enter. I'm over 18 boop on him. But you're literally, literally being used by the enemy to catch your brother up in lust. And let me say this, men, this goes for you as well.'cause I know some of you are here doing Bible studies with your shirt off and got a cross on. Get outta here. Being sexual with the Bible in your head and talking in a deep voice. I would yo. Spirit of divination. Spirit of lust. Lord have mercy. Cut it out. Stop. The fact that I even had to mention this is crazy, but I'm singing it, it it. I don't know why I'm single. I don't know why I can't find the right person. Maybe try putting some clothes on. Just saying, this even goes, this even applies to your profile. PIC dating apps. Social media, wherever you got 'em on your socials, on your on pro, whatever you, whatever you have going on, just remember what you're leading with and listen, let me not practice step, okay? Part two to this, not practicing modesty is self-defeating for you or to practice. Im modesty. Self-defeating. There was a post I ran into, I actually reposted this on my, on my Facebook. This is from, uh, a Catherine Esther Clements. I don't know who this woman is. Let me just read you what she said. I don't have a problem with lady showing their cleavage. She says, I don't lose sleep over overseeing thighs, hips, or even laps. Out in public. I'm not on a mission to police woman's clothing. Here's where I draw the line. When you get angry at being addressed the same way you've presented yourself, the way you dress is a silent statement. It speaks before you open your mouth. It tells the world how to see you, how to treat you, and sometimes wrongly or rightly, how to approach you. You can't come out looking like an invitation and expect everyone to treat you like a locked gate. You can't present your body as public property and get offended when people forget. It's sacred. Your dress is not just fabric, it's identity. The way you carry your body says a lot about how you see yourself, and unfortunately, in a world full of predators and pretense. Your body language is sometimes louder than your actual words. When you know who you are, you dress with purpose, not just for attention. People who know their worth don't need to beg for validation with their body parts. Royalties do not go around naked. You'll never find a queen walking into a palace with her breast half out, or her thighs exposed to the world because royalty knows this truth. I'm not for sure. I'm for impact makes me think about Vashti. Hmm? You dress for where you're going, not where you've been. You dress for the throne, not for the street. You don't throw diamonds into the open and expect flies to stay away. This is not about judgment. This is about awakening. Here's the hard truth. If you don't know your worth. You'll always take advice that reduces it. If you don't know your identity, the world will give you a cheap version and dress you for the part. Let this sink deep. You are not a plate of food for flies. You are not a body begging for likes. You are not a mannequin for fashion trends that discard dignity. You are a woman of substance, a queen in her lane, A lady of legacy. And Queens don't expose themselves for approval. They carry themselves with quiet confidence, knowing full well that the right eyes will see them, not just the loud one. I'm not shaming you. I'm calling you higher. I'm reminding you that dressing modestly is not a weakness. It's a awareness. And until you know the weight of your presence, you'll keep reducing it to skin. Deep impressions. Let your clothes speak purpose. Let your body be clothed in dignity. Not desperation. Let your image reflect your dignity, not your insecurity. Once you know who you are, you'll never again need to undress to be noticed. Catherine, Esther, Clement, what more needs to be said? What more can be said? Well said indeed onto my third tip. Now all my single Christian moms, I've run into this a little bit since I've been in my widowhood, this not wanting to be courted by a single Christian father. Talk to me ladies, let me know what's going on. Like why is that not an option? If you have a child and you're a single mom, a single mother, and you're a Christian, and then you meet a man who's single and doesn't have kids, and you're saying, I want a man who's Christian who doesn't have kids, he's probably gonna want to have kids with you. He's gonna probably want you to bear his children if he doesn't already have his own. Help me make sense of why does it matter if it's a Brady Bunch? If it has to come from your loins, like how does that fit? I, I just don't know why these men are off the table. Why, why are, if you, if you have that mindset, talk to me why they're off the table. I, I can't see a good reason why a Christian, godly man who has a child like you have a child, would be off the table. So, my, my, my third point here would be for you to be open-minded and to consider someone who's in the same state that you're in. You, you, you may be overlooking some potential. Potentially good suitors because of this. I don't want anybody around my kid mentality. Maybe I, I don't know what's going on there, but I, I've run into it and just wanna put that out there. Avoid that. Friends. Number four, surprise. I have to even state this, but I'm seeing it in the Christian world. Avoid situation ships, ladies. Avoid situation. Ships, I know and fornication. Why am I having to state this? Here we are talking about it. You've gotta be able to flush a guy out, right? So the approach is very telling, okay? I, I'm of the conviction still that if I'm going to court a woman, I'm going to speak to her father still. I'm gonna speak to her family. I'm a grown man, friends, I'm a grown, grown man. But in the realm of Christianity, this is letting everybody know that I'm serious about potentially marrying you. And here's the thing, I wanna get feedback from your parental units. No matter if they're separate. I don't care what's going on. I. Because that's gonna bring me maybe some insights and things that I don't know about you. I can learn about them. And I also realize that I would be marrying not just you but your family. That's the reality. I'll be marrying it into, we'll be marrying into one another's family. So if a guy is not even a girl too, lemme say this to the women too. My brothers, if it's his whole like, no, this is kind of like. Let's court secretly, let's, let's not call anything. Let's just be super duper friends and super duper close. And what are we doing with that? So you want my feelings to deepen for you without any reassurance or assurance of commitment. Why would anybody sign up for that? Why would anybody put themselves out there to receive that type of emotional abuse and, and get on board that type of emotional rollercoaster? No, thank you. I'm good. So ladies, I don't know why there is, you know, set up the right boundaries. All the touching, kissing, gonna leave the fornication, being alone, gonna leave the fornication, being with a guy because he's handsome, this, that, and the third. But he's a bad boy. You know? He's no good for you. Yeah, you, and so you're willing to tell me if I'm wrong. A lot of times women are willing to accept. The situation shit, because he's attractive, because he's got this swagger and the vibes that you like. And I'm talking about Christian women right now, friends. I'm not talking about worldly women, right? Let me know. So you end up in these relationships that are going nowhere. And because these men are non-committal, um, they're probably scared themselves and nobody knows what to do. Just why are we entertaining this? Do better. Sisters, don't, don't, don't sell yourself short. If, if you're working to be a go goly, Proverbs 31 type woman, do do that. Be in that zone. Let let somebody know, let a man know what your expectations are right up front. And this is with or without kids. Like why play games? Okay. I, I think, you know, a lot of the times. You'll be hard, little harder pressed to find someone. You know what I mean? If you have children, but nevertheless, it's not an impossibility, and especially if you, if you leave yourself open, but to, to, to, to approach a relationship and think, because I have children or because I'm not a virgin, I need to somehow settle or give less of myself or be open to fornication or be open to being in a situationship because. Somehow maybe I'm, I'm like damaged goods man. Don't, don't entertain that. In case some one of my listeners are entertaining that, don't, you are a daughter of God. You, you're starting over. We can't undo our past, but God can cover with the blood of Jesus. You just need to find somebody that's on your same wavelength, that's equally yoked with you. That's coming from a similar place. Wait until you're married, friends. Okay? Wait until you're married. That's the best advice. So if you are young and you're out here, or even if you're older and you're a virgin, then praise the Lord. Hold on to that and wait until you're married. You know? And if, listen, and I know I've gotten some feedback from some of my friends too, like, ah, yeah, I'm a virgin, but I don't think I'm gonna find another version, so I'm having to listen. I, I, I don't know. It, it is tough because we do live in a, in a, in a, in a society in a time. At least here in the West where fornication is rampant, people are rarely saving themselves. But that's not everybody. There is subcultures, pockets of believers that are locked into waiting until they're married. So pray about it, but, but, but be realistic. Okay. Uh, being realistic. So I don't, I just don't understand how I'm seeing so many of my sisters getting involved with men where there is no clearly defined. Intention to marry you potentially. Like, what are we doing then? What are we doing? Don't be afraid to, to, to lead with that. Like, I think we're like, what are we doing? Like it should go without saying it, it should be implied, but hey, sometimes you gotta speak up. Like, all right. Just so you know, like, I'm, I'm only, I, like, you have to court me to marry me. E even if you think he's cute, head over heels, think he's super spiritual and all that. Like this is, this is what, this is the wavelength we need to be on. We are trying to determine that this is God's will. God's will for our lives to be a husband and a wife, to be one flesh. If not, catch you later. All right, next thing, last thing. Listen, this one's a big one. This one I'm seeing frequently. I've seen this on other continents. Okay. As I've traveled my sisters in Christ. Why? Why are you dating courting men? Outside of your denomination, I cannot tell you how much I run into this. This is suicide. Let me break it down why this is a problem.'cause somebody will say, well, brothers, okay, you say, but we're both Christian. Alright man. Listen, within Christian denomination, sis, there's a different belief, uh, as far as baptism, how to raise children, uh, economics, uh, the nature of God. Church attendance, what days to go on? How to connect with G Like the, there's so much variation that what'll happen is a lot of times these are testimonies I get before you get married. It's like, oh yeah, I'll do that. Yeah, I'll, I'll, we'll, we'll, we'll follow your religion. You know, like, so you get a Muslim man and Christian and the Muslims like, okay, yeah, I'll be Christian. Okay. Or the Christians, I'll be Muslim, but as soon as you say I do, then the conviction set in like, no, no, no, no. I love my God too much. Like, no, no, I can't. Now maybe you have children, you're in this relationship. And you thought you had one that was on the same wavelength, but now it's not because they're have their own mind, their own will. They don't wanna stand before the God that they have either created or they believe they know in the judgment and come up short. So now there's gonna be friction. And if you're the woman I. The reality is your husband is the spiritual head of your family, so he's gonna lead you down a path that you don't want to go down. I see this so much. I've seen some people say, Hey, ah, I didn't have any religion really. Zi blah. My wife was Catholic so I was gonna be Catholic because she's Catholic, and vice versa, friends. No. Get that figured out before you say I do. I It makes no sense. I. For a believer to be with a nonbeliever, for a Catholic, to be with a Protestant. When they're, the, the, the views are so divergent, they're, they're opposite that there's going to be drama. How do you raise the kids? What school do they go to? Do you homeschool? Do you not homeschool? These are all things that are influenced, impacted by your theology. Heck, even your eschatology, what you believe is gonna happen at the end of time, at the end of the world, is gonna be impacting how you live day to day. What do you eat? Are you a vegetarian? Are you vegan? Are you not? These things all get wrapped up into, I don't want to cook that. I want you to cook that. Oh, do drinking alcohol. Are you convicted about or understand the Bible to teach no alcohol, but your husband says, no, I'm going to drink. Now you've got an alcoholic that you marry. Drug. I mean, listen, even nominal Christianity versus true Christianity where profession meets works in lifestyle. So you've gotta be able to discern like even this person is telling me they're of the same denomination. Yeah, sure you are. Right. We need to verify that. Vet that out. Are you really, do you really live like I live? Do you really believe that? I believe, do we really believe the same? Are we really locked in? Can we really be one flesh or are we just in our flesh? Talk to me. I'm being serious ladies. This is probably one of the top offenses, one of the top pitfalls that I see you all falling. Not all that I see many of you falling into. Maybe it's outta desperation. Whatever the reasoning, whatever the rationale behind it. As your brother in Christ, I'm telling you, stay away from it. Avoid it. Get somebody the same denomination, and then once you get 'em down to the same denomination, make sure you have a similar expression of faith and you're not getting okie-doke or no getting hoodwinked or someone's pulling a wool over your eyes, ladies, so let's just cover this again. Be modest. Don't lead with your flesh and your body. Cover up. Save it only for your husband. Know your role as a true queen who you are. Know your identity. If you're a single mother, you should be open to single dads reject situation, ships and fornication. Amen. Holler at me, talk to me, love Jesus. And lastly, court. Amen. Who was of the same faith and denomination and convictions of you when it comes to your Jesus. I'm Gordon McGee. This is the No Pills Podcast. Love fully scripted. I'm signing off and I will catch you next week.