No Pillz with Gordon McGhee

5 Red Flags From God

• Gordon McGhee • Season 2 • Episode 83

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5 Red Flags From God In Relationships: Christian Courtship & Discernment

Welcome back to The No Pills Podcast with Gordon McGee! In this crucial episode, "5 Red Flags from God," we dive deep into discernment in Christian relationships and courtship. Many of us wonder if a connection is "the one" or from God, but what about when God is telling you to "pump the brakes"?

Learn to recognize the signs God sends when a relationship isn't aligned with His perfect will.  We unpack five vital red flags

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In 3, 2, 1. Welcome back, beloved. I'm Gordon McGee, and this is The No Pills podcast, love fully scripted. And today five red flags from God. We're tackling a topic that hits close to home for many of us who are Christian, uh, when it comes to courtship. On another podcast, we spoke about how courtship isn't biblical. I know. I believe that's episode 78. Episode 78. Go over to episode 78, if you're curious about what I mean. But this episode, we're really talking about discernment. Uh, some of us have been there. You, you meet someone, there's a connection, maybe even a spark, and you start asking those big questions. Is this it? Could this be my spouse? Is this from God? But what about when God is trying to tell you to pump the brakes? Mm-hmm. How do you know when God is warning you to not continue this relationship any longer? It's not always easy to hear those warnings, especially when our hearts are involved. But God and his infinite love often gives us signs, nudges, and even clear alarms. May I even say red flags, when a relationship isn't aligned with his perfect will For us today, we're going to unpack five red flags from God. Alright, let's kick things off with our first red flag, our first sign, and this one is crucial for young and older alike. It's infatuation and not true love. That's the first one. Friends. It's infatuation and not true love. You know that feeling right? When you get those intense butterflies and and you're all giggly and you are excited. Yeah, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about obsessive thoughts. The feeling that you can't live without this person, even if you just met them like a week ago. Yeah. Some of y'all is crazy. Yes, you just met him a week ago and you already in love. This is a relationship driven by impulse and blind passion or love sick sentimentalism, as I often like to say over here at Nobels, rather than pure and holy affection. Infatuation in its rawest forms is often what? Headstrong, rash, unreasonable. Come on, Uhhuh Defiant of all restraint. It can completely consume you, often leading us to make the object of our affection an idol in our lives. Come on, am I telling you the truth? Remember what God told Moses, you shall have no other gods before me. Moving on to our second red flag. A disregard of divine counsel as Christians, well, we're called to seek God's will in all things, and that absolutely includes our relationships. Are you genuinely praying about this relationship? Are you open to receiving wise counsel from those who walked the path before you, IE your parents? Uh, mentors, pastors, uh, or even spiritually mature friends? Uh, a significant warning sign is when you find yourself what, setting aside reason, judgment, and the fear of God. In favor of your own personal desires or a stubborn determination to make a relationship work. Have you been there, my friend? Hmm. Regardless of the golly input that you receive, it's like putting on blinders and charging ahead, convince you know what's best right into a ditch. But here's where it gets even more serious. Those around you that love you and are wiser than you are telling you that you are not equally yoked with this person. Imagine trying to build a life where one person is committed to following Christ and the other is indifferent or even hostile to the faith. Your values, your priorities, your ultimate destination in this life, and. In eternity, meaning the next life are fundamentally different. The Bible is extremely clear about being unequally yolked Friends, if you go over to second Corinthians six, verse 14, you will find that such unions are forbidden by God and can lead to a bitter harvest. Let's be honest. And genuinely hinder your spiritual journey. And remember, some people can hide behind a profession or appearing to be Christian for a time. Even within your own denomination. That's why you need to be praying and taking advice from experienced godly people in your life. The scripture says for two are better than one, and there is what wisdom and the multitude of counselors. This isn't about judging someone's salvation, it's, it's about the practical realities of building a unified God-honoring home if the person you're interested in isn't striving to walk with God. Doesn't share your core spiritual convictions. Come on, talk to me. Has no desire to build a Christ-centered life that's a resounding no from God. That's like God is waving two red flags. Don't do it. Jesus wants to see you thrive. Come on friends. And sometimes that means saying no to the things that you want so you can acquire the things you need. Take fast hold of instruction. Let her not go, keep her for she is thy life. Proverbs four verse 13. Our third red flag gets into the nitty gritty of how you are conducting your relationship. That being dishonorable courtship practices, how you court just isn't a casual thing. It truly matters to God. It reflects your character and your respect for the other person and for God's design for relationships. What do I mean? Secret communications, keeping late hours and actions that violate modesty and reserve. Let's break it down even further. Let's make it plain. Are you hiding your relationship from your parents or trusted friends? Are your communications happening predominantly in secret or at inappropriate hours of the night? Are you engaging in physical intimacy that crosses boundaries? You know God would have you maintain violating the principles of purity and respect. Come on furthermore. The concept of trifling with affections or engaging in deceptive practices during courtship goes against Christian virtue, friend. This means playing games with people's hearts, leading them on when you know you do not have intentions to marry them. Not being transparent and honest, it's about integrity. Friends, if your courtship feels like it constantly needs to be hidden, if it lacks transparency, honesty, and mutual respect. If it involves behaviors you wouldn't want God or your church to see, that is a clear red flag from God. Friends, God calls us to integrity and purity in all our dealings, especially something as weighty and potentially life altering as a relationship that could bloom into marriage whatsoever. You do. Do all to the glory of God and abstain from all appearance of evil put to death. Therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature, sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, one Corinthians 10 verse 31, 1 Thessalonians five, verse 22, Colossians three, verse five. You can thank me later. Our fourth red flag from God, which ties into the overall trajectory of your life. This union is having a negative impact on your spiritual life and youthfulness. A truly healthy God-honoring relationship should be a blessing. It should be a source of encouragement, support, and spiritual growth for you. So if a relationship consistently draws you away from God or diminishes your spiritual zeal red flag, ask yourself these following questions. Is this person helping you become more like Christ? Are they inspiring you to grow in your faith, to serve others more passionately, to develop your God-given gifts, or to be more youthful in God's kingdom? Be honest and have you ever been so into someone that your usual spiritual disciplines, your quiet time, come on, your prayer life, come on, and church attendance start to feel like a chore. All you wanna do is be around this person. This is a key indicator that this may not be the one for you. You lack spiritual maturity when a relationship causes you to lose interest in spiritual things. If your time with God dwindles, if your desire to serve him faith, if your spiritual community feels less important, because all your energy, thoughts and focus are consumed by this one person, red flag friends. I would say to you, they should be encouraging you not to abandon that relationship with God, your community, your friends, your church, et cetera, but you should be coming. One, true. A relationship is going to require your attention and time, but godly love friends, the kind described in one Corinthians 13, always points you back to Christ. It builds you up, encourages your faith, and draws you closer to the Lord. Infatuation, on the other hand, can pull you and will pull you away, leaving you spiritually depleted and often isolated from those who care about your eternity. So check your spiritual pulse. When you are with somebody, friends, is this relationship drawing you closer to God or is it pulling you away? Seek he first, the kingdom of God and his righteousness. And all of these things shall be added unto you. And while I'm thinking about this, let me speak to my married couples real, real fast. Listen, a, a, a marriage as well as a courtship. Should help both partners grow spiritually and increase their usefulness in God's kingdom. Amen. Right. It should cr, it should, it should, um, increase your usefulness in God's service, not cripple or destroy it. Perhaps you're constantly compromising your convictions in your marriage. Or your spouse's influence is simply pulling you away from your purpose. Remember, your spiritual health and your usefulness for God's kingdom are paramount. Don't sacrifice them for a relationship that isn't pulling you heavenward, if this is your reality, right? If you're living this right now, it is time for you to pray. Be consistent in your spiritual exercises, your personal devotions, and communicate your concerns to your spouse. Immediately thereafter. Matthew 6 24 says this, no one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other God. First friends, then spouse, then children, then family, then the world, and maybe friends before the world. And finally, our fifth red flag from God, which brings it all together. Ignoring convictions that you can substantiate with scripture. So I'm just not merely talking about the feeling itself, the convicting, the convictions you're feeling, but that you can also substantiate those feelings with scripture and through other people. This is what I mean. This sign is about, or this flag is about recognizing when you are overriding that uneasiness, your peace is disturbed. Come on. The Bible, friends and family all agree with that conviction. They all understand why your peace is disturbed, right? Sometimes we will push past these convictions because we have been together too long with this person. I don't wanna start over. I'm too old. You're desperate. I'm afraid of being alone. But, or they have money. This is what my parents want and not me. I wanna make my parents happy, so I'm going to, I'm gonna push through even though it, it is not sitting right in my spirit as we say sometimes, or perhaps you have just been bewitched by infatuation to the point where you are simply overlooking the clear dangers and inconsistencies in this relationship that others can see clearly. This person is impatient, easily angered, has little to no devotional life, and you think, oh, I found a diamond in the rough. God help you. Sometimes God speaks through a gentle whisper in our mind. Friends, not in the earthquake, not in the fire. Hmm. Not in the wind, but in a small still voice, that persistent unease, that quiet alarm bell that says something isn't quite right, even if you can't put your finger on it. Friends, this is when it's time to start praying more. The Holy Spirit may be nudging you in those times. In other times. He speaks powerfully, clearly through the voices of those who love you, uh, those who are praying for you and have your best interest at heart. If you're consistently dismissing repeated warnings from wise counselors, friends, or if you feel a strong internal resistance to pursuing a relationship, that on the surface might seem appealing, it very well could be God's hand on your shoulder gently, but firmly pulling you back. Don't harden your heart to these divine nudges, whether they come from within. Or through loving, trusted voices of your inner circle. If you can confirm them with scripture, I would tell you to listen and take heed. Ephesians four verse 30, do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God. We've covered a lot today. Discerning God's will in relationships isn't always easy, and it often requires us to set aside our own desires and truly lean into. His wisdom, God's wisdom. But remember, every warning sign from God is ultimately an act of his love. He's protecting you, guiding you, and leading you to a path that will bring you the deepest joy and fulfill his purposes for your life. If you recognize any of these signs in your current relationship, do not despair. This isn't about condemnation. It's about empowerment. It's about opening your eyes, repenting where needed, and allowing God to direct your steps. Seek counsel, pray diligently frank, and most importantly, trust that God has a perfect plan for your life and that includes the person he has for you if marriage is his will for you. That's all the time we have today. I truly pray that this episode has given. Use some valuable insight, encouragement, and actionable steps. As you navigate the complexities of Christian courtship, if this resonated with you, please share it with a friend or someone you know who might need to hear it. And don't forget to hit that like button while you're at it. I'm Gordon McGee. This is the No Pills Podcast. Love fully scripted, and I'm signing off, and I will catch you next week.