8. TRU perspective

"It's just a matter of perspective..."

Have you ever found yourself where the answer to your out-of-control frustrations was just a slight shift in perspective?  Have you ever been upset with a friend or family member only to later realize (with more context) that they had a valid reason for doing what they did or saying what they said?  That's a shift in perspective.

In this episode, Jason breaks down what a successful life can sometimes look like using certain tools that a proper perspective can give to "anyone".

Chapters

• 0:08 Changing Your Perspective for Personal Growth
• 13:47 Positive Prophecy and Self-Improvement
• 21:05 Mindset Transformation for True Self

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:08

you. Greetings, hi and hello everyone. My name is jason pizzi flair. I'm a speaker, I'm a podcaster and my life's work is centered around allowing the world to meet the true you by helping you think, speak and eventually live better than yesterday. We do this, first, by establishing a good reason why, a strong and powerful motivation to keep going when the going gets rough. Second, we need awareness and acknowledgement of what's holding us back. And third, we need scalable steps forward as a reliable bridge between who we are right now and who we need to be tomorrow and the day after that, and the day after that and the day after that. This, my friends, is how you go from stuck to thinking as, speaking as and living as the true you.

Speaker 1: 1:02

The True you is called True Perspective, and well, I think that's pretty self-explanatory. We're just talking about perspective today and it's not extremely scripted. There is still a script, but I did want much of this to be just organically my thoughts in the moment as I'm recording this. It's a part of my initiative to transition to something more of the like in the future and a bit more long form as well, but I don't think this particular episode is going to be too too long, but anyway, let's get into it. Google defines perspective as a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something, a point of view, and the reason why I want to talk about this today is because my goal with each and every single one of these episodes is, just like in the motto, to help you to think, speak and live as your true self. A lot of that takes root in perspective, because you're not always going to have influence over the circumstances that you find yourself in. You're not always going to have the power or the ability to change people's minds or to change what has happened to you or around you, but you can change how you see it. You can change how you label that experience within your own mind. You can shift your perspective, and I want to help you to change your perspective today, because speaker and entrepreneur Pat Flynn said if you want to change someone's life, start by changing their day first. If you want to change someone's life, start by changing their day first. So I hope that what I supply you with today helps to change your day and tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that and the day after that, which will then inevitably change the whole course and trajectory of your life. Now I want to go over three points, three different action steps that you need to, or boxes that you need to check that can help you be that much more accurate in changing your perspective on things but also taking it a step further and garnering results for those things that you're trying to change in your life. Let's start with point number one.

Speaker 1: 3:48

Being self-aware will serve you better than being self-conscious. Now, why is this important? A lot of this, I would think, is, you know, kind of obvious, but that's only because of the place that I'm at right now. I realized that you know kind of obvious, but that's only because of the place that I'm at right now. I realized that you know.

Speaker 1: 4:09

Several years back or in my adolescence, none of this was obvious to me. I just thought my problems were my world, my whole world. But now it's kind of become second nature. But I want to be cognizant of not speaking to you as if it's also completely. All this is second nature to you as well, and it's not because I'm better. It's simply because I'm at the stage of life where I have this information readily available and I want to get you to that same place as well if you're not there already, so again, being self-aware will serve you better than being self-conscious. So being self-aware is like being in tune with the things that make you you in such a way that you leverage your weaknesses by maximizing your strengths. But being self-conscious is like being in tune with the things that make you you in such a way that severely limits your strengths by amplifying focus on your weaknesses. Self-awareness and self-consciousness are just two different ways to use the exact same data about yourself.

Speaker 1: 5:23

So let me give you a real life story example. For me, here's something completely superficial that I, for a long time, have been self-conscious of, but only until the recent probably year and a half, two years ago that I transitioned to being more self-aware of it and started using the new knowledge that I gained, or the new perspective that I gained on this same old data to serve me rather than hurt me. Now again, I warned you this is completely a superficial thing that doesn't really super matter, but it did affect my own image to a large degree, quite literally, and it is how I smiled for pictures. Somehow, for some reason, when I smile in pictures, I think it's my right eye, the way that my, my, the corners of my mouth come up or that my cheeks come out, come up naturally, the left eye squints a lot more than my right eye. So if you cut my picture in half, you could see just genuine happiness and glee and excitement and exuberance on the left side. But then if you looked at the right side, you saw somebody that with his mouth was smiling at you but then with his eye was staring into your soul, like why are you here? Like who are you? It was a different person altogether and I did not understand how was this happening.

Speaker 1: 6:58

Every time I became very self-conscious of the way that I smiled so often. I would just smirk with no teeth and that it just it. It created a much lower quality picture overall and I just didn't like seeing myself in pictures because of it. But one day I can't remember when or why or how I just decided that If the right side doesn't naturally come up properly as far as my eyes is concerned, let me just consciously, every time I take a picture, bring up my right cheek a little bit more so as to match the left, take pictures when I remember that is I. I bring up that right cheek just a little bit more and then throughout both sides, if you cut it in half of the picture, I'm looking like I want to be there and it. It has significantly improved the results of every picture that I takes that I've taken since then, although, although it is something that I have to actively and consciously do each time, that is a result that is a net positive result.

Speaker 1: 8:23

On self-awareness, I realized, hey, this is a weak area for me, this is literally a weak side of my face. Let me leverage that with some intentional muscle control or intentional, like you know, conscious use of my cheek muscles whatever you want to call it, I don't know the scientific term for them to be able to get to a place where I'm not holding my own self back in taking pictures or in smiling or in my experiences with friends or family because I'm self-conscious about this. Let me be self-aware and here's what I'm going to do about it. So that's an example, just a real life example of mine. It's no crazy, major stakes were involved in this, but this was something that mattered to me for a long time, and so I hope this has really helped someone realize that perspective is super major, as it concerns how you tackle every single sort of issue in your life, big or small. So that's point number one self-aware, not self-conscious.

Speaker 1: 9:34

Point number two with the data from point number one, practice asking the right questions. Now let's take an example of being late for work every Monday. Because you wake up late every Monday, I wouldn't call this necessarily a wrong question, but it's not the best question to ask. If, in trying to figure this out, you're like why am I always late on Monday? Why I say that that's the wrong question to ask, or kind of the wrong question to ask, is because it's too easy, especially in that state of heightened emotion, to ask. Is because it's too easy, especially in that state of, you know, heightened emotion, to devolve into a self-deprecating conversation. Ah, I always do this, I always screw up on monday. I always this, I always that, all from the question why am I quote unquote always late on monday? And don't even get me started on like blanket statements, because you're probably not always late on Monday, and don't even get me started on like blanket statements because you're probably not always late on Mondays, but you say that because that's how you feel anyway.

Speaker 1: 10:42

Point number two is about asking the right question. Here's what that really sounds like the right question almost always leads to an answer that spurs positive growth and comes with encouraging or uplifting undertones. An example of that would be for this whole Monday thing. Hmm, because I'm becoming more disciplined, how can I, how can I make doing the right thing? Or how can I make being early to work simpler or easier to act on? Let me read that again. Because I'm becoming more disciplined, how can I make being early simpler or easier to act on? So what you'll notice in the if I may use this term phraseology of that sentence or that question is that I inserted in the beginning, I primed myself to understand my goal. I'm, if I may use the term, speaking prophetically to a certain degree about who I want to be. I'm trying to quote, unquote manifest this version of myself, this true, truer version of myself. Because I'm becoming more disciplined, how can I make being early easier or simpler to act on?

Speaker 1: 12:09

Here's another example about, just you know, dealing with people that you don't want to deal with. Because I am becoming more patient, how, how could I have responded better to this person's instigations? Let me read that again. Because I'm becoming more patient, or because being patient is my goal, how could I have responded better to this person's instigations. How can I better prepare for such situations in the future? Do you see how, by saying I am becoming so and so, or I am becoming this or that, you're telling yourself in a positive way the direction that you are heading? You're telling your conscious and your subconscious mind what your goal is, or what to look forward to or what to focus on.

Speaker 1: 12:58

I've mentioned before the RAS, the reticular activated system, or activating system. Hold on, let me Google this, like literally right now, to make sure that I'm saying the right thing. Yes, I am Reticular activating system. Let me just read this. I guess the reticular activating system is a network of neurons located in the brainstem that project anteriorly to the hypothalamus to mediate behavior as well as both. Okay, well, we don't need all that right now, but what it does is bring to the forefront what you've told it to focus on in the background. I already explained this in a previous episode, so I won't break it down right now.

Speaker 1: 13:47

But my point in bringing all this up is to tell you to be prophetic about the good you wish to see in your life, because you're already more than proficient at negative prophecy. Now I don't want all the saints in the chat all going crazy right now saying want. All the saints in the chat all going crazy right now saying, oh, negative prophecy, my word, how could I, how could you claim such a thing? Nah, I'll prove it to you right now. With, even with this whole late on monday thing, I'll bet anybody here listening right now that has ever been late to something like that, or late to work or done something negative consistently.

Speaker 1: 14:30

You've said to yourself in some way, shape or form oh man, I'm a failure, or I'm a screw-up, or I'm a klutz, or um, I'm washed up, or I'm a has-been or I'm irrelevant. Are all those things true? No, they are not, because if you truly were a failure, then there would be no future for you, there would be no tomorrow for you, there would be no scenario in which you are allowed even a smidgen of success. If you are truly the definition of a failure, then success would be the opposite of what you'd ever be exposed to. But let's look at your life, let's look at your day-to-day.

Speaker 1: 15:20

Are there any sort of mini successes that you experience every day, like, oh, I don't know. Know, maybe putting on your pants in the right direction, in the right orientation. I don't know, maybe drinking a cup of water without choking yourself to death? I don't know, maybe successfully operating a motor vehicle in traffic. Now, for some of you, that may be not the best example to take, because you know, some of y'all I can't, some of y'all should not be driving, but if you made it, it's kind of like that friend that drives crazy. But did you die though? But did you die? If you didn't die, then in some way, shape or form, you were successful.

Speaker 1: 16:11

Therefore, that quote unquote prophecy of being a failure does not apply to you. Yes, did you fail at this task? Maybe For sure, perhaps. But are you a failure? Does that define you? No, it does not. So why is it so easy for us to just keep talking to ourselves like that? I hope I've proven to you that you already participate in negative prophecy. I'm just trying to get you to participate in positive prophecy. Be prophetic about the things you want in your life. Be prophetic about the good you wish to see. So again, number two, with the data from point number one, practice asking the right questions. Prime yourself with, because I am becoming more blank. How could I have blank to do this better? Does that make sense? Hopefully so. Let's wrap it up with number three Execute on whatever plan you come up with, whatever answer you get from number two, with both fervor and grace.

Speaker 1: 17:33

Not just grace, not just fervor, with both fervor and grace. Fervor is defined as an intense and passionate feeling. The reason why you want fervor is because, in any sort of situation where you're changing habitual behavior, you are going to need a crazy amount of momentum, and building momentum is the hardest thing. The hardest part of launching a rocket is the launch, not the sustained flight. Once you've broken orbit, once you've passed you know orbit or gravitational pull, it's the beginning. It's getting off the ground because you're fighting the, the highest amount of gravity, if I'm saying that correctly, you're fighting gravity. Let's just say that. So when you're trying to build good habits, the gravity that you're fighting are the bad habits that are already there. You're going to need fervor and intense and passionate feeling to do that, and I tell you a little bit about how to do that, or a little bit about the important steps that you need to take in doing that, by creating a strong why, a powerful motivation to keep going.

Speaker 1: 18:50

Now the reason why the second one is important to have and that these two need to be walking in combination is because if you have an intense and passionate feeling about changing yourself but you walk around with zero grace for yourself, you're just going to devolve right back into that whole negative self-talk, that negative prophecy, that holding yourself to an impossible standard type of shtick. You don't want that. It destroys you. But what also destroys you is having just plenty of grace for yourself but no intense and passionate feeling to do anything different. That is called well, what is it called? That's, I don't know, being too lax, just being like floating through life, I guess. Like you have no structure, you can't walk around with grace and no structure.

Speaker 1: 19:51

Merriam-webster defines grace as approval, favor, mercy, pardon, a special favor, privilege, disposition to, or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy or clemency, a temporary exemption reprieve. So a temporary exemption reprieve. So in conclusion yeah, you get it A quote by Ashley Hetherington. We need to trust that the world is not going to crash and burn if we fall short. We are simply not powerful enough to mess up God's plan for our life. I love this quote because to me it has a grounding feeling to it, kind of like reminding you that the sun will rise and fall, even if you miss a certain quota. So don't ruin the roots of your hair follicles over it. Acknowledge the mistake absolutely Be aware of and process how it made you feel for sure, but then get up, dust yourself off and get back on that horse tomorrow. Just don't forget to rub some tiger balm and stretch first, because all that's important, but get back on that dang horse.

Speaker 1: 21:05

I hope that all of this has served you in some way, shape or form, or in all the shapes, in all the forms, and, believe it or not, there was more that I wanted to say, especially about the whole grace spiel, but I didn't want to overwhelm this one singular episode.

Speaker 1: 21:24

So this marks the first of the true you podcast, btm series, which stands for behind the mind. You'll find that right after this episode. But understand that all of this mindset talk is to really get at the root of how you're living, because your life is a direct result, not just the circumstances, but how you experience your life. Let me put it that way how you experience your life is a direct result of how you talk about your life, and you wouldn't be talking about your life in a certain way if you didn't think about your life in a certain way. So all this mindset talk is really to target your thinking processes. My hope is to help you to change your day first, so that your life can eventually be changed, and we do that by giving you principles, like I'd mentioned throughout this episode number one, two and three to help you to now think as, speak as and eventually live as the true you. Thanks for listening.