11. TRU benefits

This sucks!  That's difficult!  They're driving me crazy!

It's surprising at times just how creative the world can get with the negativity and turmoil it can hurl your way, isn't it?  In some seasons it might even feel like someone (or even several someones) have some sort of very real and very personal vendetta against you with how poorly things seem to be going. 

That being said, in this episode, Jason explains his take on both sides of the coin.  Both the dark and the light, as well as why it's important to literally train your positivity muscles.  Only then can you reap the TRU benefits!

Chapters

• 0:08 Overcoming Life's Challenges
• 14:19 True Benefits of Life's Challenges
• 20:09 Embracing the True You

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:08

you greetings, hi and hello everyone. My name is jason pizzi flair. I'm a speaker, I'm a podcaster and my life's work is centered around allowing the world to meet the true you by helping you think, speak and eventually live better than yesterday. We do this, first, by establishing a good reason why, a strong and powerful motivation to keep going when the going gets rough. Second, we need awareness and acknowledgement of what's holding us back.

Speaker 1: 0:41

And third, we need scalable steps forward as a reliable bridge between who we are right now and who we need to be tomorrow and the day after that, and the day after that and the day after that. This, my friends, is how you go from stuck to thinking as, speaking as and living as the true you.

Speaker 2: 1:12

Me, me, me, me, me. Today's the day I sing my cares away. Today's the day I sing my cares away. Not a cloud in the sky and I'm not gonna bother asking why. Today is the day I sing my cares away man, if only that worked.

Speaker 1: 1:42

Ignorance is not bliss. Not knowing certain things or not being aware of certain facts of life does not preclude the right word, does not protect you. Let's use that one, since I know that one Does not protect you from the consequences of such things, of such things. Ah, man, isn't it just real to say something like it is what it is, or life just be lifin, you know? Or I'm just moving forward, like, like, there is an equal amount in my opinion, generally, generally, not specifically, but generally, there's generally an equal amount of both just pain, and you're done with life as well as, hey, I'm mustering every ounce of strength I have and I'm powering through this situation with a positive attitude. Within those sentences, I feel that it could be either or, depending on the person or what they're going through in life, but in this particular episode, I want to talk to you about just difficult life situations, bringing up a few examples of certain things that I've been through personally as reference and just showing you or demonstrating for you, my dear cherished, valued listener, an example of the kinds of positive the kinds of positive shall we call them benefits, for the sake of the title of this episode that I glean from those experiences, not because I'm just trying to live in my own delusional world of positivity, but because this is how I believe the strong talking about mindset here, the strong can truly survive. Please do not, well, nah, let me not go into that, because that's a tangent and we're not doing tangents right now. Anyway, so, talking about my own life, a difficult situation, for example. Talking about my own life, a difficult situation, for example, when I was what was it? Around 14,. That's when I moved from the island of Haiti to Traverse City, michigan. That's where I lived with my sister for a time, with some family friends, bear in mind. I still have my dad, I still have my mom, I still have my younger brother, matthew. They were all still in Haiti at the time. So this was what? Was it? The year 2010, I think, I believe, or 2009, when the move, the official move, was made?

Speaker 1: 4:33

And in my childlike mind, I'm moving away from all my friends. I'm moving away from the culture that I know. I'm moving away from the food that I love. I'm moving away from the culture that I know. I'm moving away from the food that I love. I'm moving away from, certainly, a temperature that I can handle day in and day out, more or less, because that Haiti heat ain't playing either and I'm being thrust into this brand new environment with people that I know and care about, but still they're.

Speaker 1: 5:04

They're not exactly, um, uh, like it's. It's not the same thing as just having your own family. Um, you love them, you care about them. Talking about my family friends here, um, I love you guys. You know who you are. Um, they took care of us and opened up their home to us in a time where we needed it most actually because of what happened after the move which I'll get to towards the end of this episode than I. So once I hit the high school zone I was, you know, my dad decided to make the move to send us over for just quote unquote better educational opportunities, but in my mind, it wasn't all a positive experience.

Speaker 2: 5:55

It was very difficult.

Speaker 1: 5:57

And I'm sure those of you in in the audience who are either military kids or just have generally difficult life circumstances that have forced your family to move around a lot, you get what I'm saying. As far as uprooting the very you know uh, what words am I looking for? Uprooting your life? Let's just keep it simple. As far as uprooting your life so many different times to then create a new culture, create a new ecosystem or join one that's already been created, essentially, which is hard enough and so having to introduce yourself to new kids at school, having to build new relationships with new teachers if you go to church, then having to join that whole social circle, it's difficult, it's hard and so not a very positive experience all in all, if you look at it from the surface. For me. Move on to another example.

Speaker 1: 7:04

Joining the military for me was well, actually, before I even talk about that, I was a my time after high school. Once I graduated, I did some work as an unofficial turned official teacher's assistant sort of kind of. There's a lot of underlying details there that I won't get into, but it was essentially an unpaid internship into a paid internship, into an actual sort of kind of job, an unpaid internship into a paid internship, into an actual sort of kind of job. So what I did there was basically anything they needed me to do anything from tech assistants, like running slides for a presentation, to actually going on stage and doing plays for the kids and all that kind of stuff, or teaching music or helping with teaching choir. So that's the gist of it. That's not the negative thing. The negative part of that was I felt so darn purposeless in my life during that time. It was just me going to school and working at the same time but then breaking off of school because my grades just took a, like they tanked seriously, went south in the worst possible way, because I didn't know what I wanted to focus on. I didn't know what I wanted my major to really be. I had what felt like zero passion for school, what felt like zero passion for school. So an absolutely negative experience. On the surface I was going places, doing things, getting the paycheck and again, from an outside perspective, doing my best right, checking in every day, showing up. That's great, but on the inside I'm practically dead. We'll come back to that Now.

Speaker 1: 9:01

Going to the military. That, excuse me, is that is a. It is a. It is a an amalgamation of different emotions for me. Don't get me wrong. Ultimately I love the Navy and I'll get to that towards the end again, but it it was a difficult thing, a difficult experience, not just boot camp and you know failing the final, the final exam of boot camp to graduate, when my family had already flown in by the way for graduation the next day. But then, miraculously, one thing after another happened and I was able to graduate. I'll get to that. Actually, I'll save that for behind the mind, to that. Actually, I'll save that for behind the mind, for the behind the mind episode related to this one.

Speaker 1: 9:58

So if you want to find out what happened unless I told the story already and I'm just gassing myself for no reason but if you haven't heard this story and you'd like to then check out the behind the mind episode, connected to true benefits, but anyway, connected to true benefits, but anyway, failing that exam was absolutely a negative experience because everything the two, what was it? What was boot camp? Two or three months, I think it was three months, something like that, I can't remember, it's been too long. But all those months away from family, no phone as a, no cell phone, no access, no ready access to the Internet or to video games or anything like that, and I'm having to live a life that is brand new to me, under the literal commands and orders of three other people that are my RDCs Recruit Division Commanders and they're not the most positive people, they're not paid to be positive people. That can very easily, for some, be purely a negative experience, but this episode isn't called true negativity, it's called true benefits, and so the only way I believe that you are able to glean the true benefits from any particular experience that you have, be it mostly positive or mostly negative, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 1: 11:37

There's always something that you can learn from what you go through. A quote that I have on my website, a quote that is, to a certain degree, the mantra of the true you brand, is you are not defined by the damage you've suffered. You are revealed by the debris you shed. So what that quote implies is that damage will come, debris will pile up, but it's what you shake off of you and the results that are left. That is the true you. You, it's what you learn from it, it's what you hold on to and take from it as a lesson. It's what you fill in to the cracks of your soul that turn you into a more, a more stout and, uh uh, complete being, even after situations that that were supposed to break you. It's those things that are the true benefits that we look for. So let's talk about some of the true benefits of the three situations that I mentioned earlier. So the move from haiti. One true benefit of that is obviously on the surface better education as far as going to high school is concerned, and more opportunities.

Speaker 1: 12:59

But in 2010, if I'm remembering the year right, that was a time that the excuse me one of the greatest magnitude earthquakes had hit haiti, the island of Haiti in the Caribbean. Is it Caribbean or Caribbean? Either way, an earthquake hit Haiti and its epicenter happened to be the capital, port-au-prince, specifically a city called Carrefour, carrefour or Carrefour. I don't like Carrefour, carrefour. That is my hometown and it's it's a bit of a difficult topic to really just break down because I cannot speak for the hundreds of thousands and maybe even millions I can't really remember the numbers that have suffered or been affected by that earthquake, but I know my family's experience and during that time, my mom, my dad and my little brother were all in the middle of everything happening and at some point I'll tell that story, but you know I don't want to fill this episode with that right now.

Speaker 1: 14:19

But a clear benefit of my move was that me and my sister were not in the middle of that, because, although my family all survived, there's no guarantee that I or my sister would have made it if we were there. There's no absolute guarantee of that. So that is a that is a clear benefit that I can take out of take from my move, which was, on the surface, a negative thing. I made tons of friends, beautiful connections after that move, connections and friends that are still close to this day, and so that is a true benefit of the move. I could go on and on, but let's move on to the next one my time before the military, working and going to college. One thing, my friends, that and I hope you take this for yourself as soon as possible and that you distill it into something useful for you.

Speaker 1: 15:28

But don't despise the frustration that you feel as far as not being fulfilled or feeling like you're stuck or just you're not passionate about anything or you don't feel passionate about anything. Don't despise that, because a benefit, a true benefit from my time just boiling in all of that. It's not fun. I'm not saying to have fun in all that, because that's very difficult, that's a very difficult ask, and I myself didn't have fun in it.

Speaker 1: 16:03

But looking back in hindsight I can say that a true benefit of that time is that it heightened my sensitivity for things that aren't for me. It heightened my sensitivity for things that against time wasters, let me put it that way. It heightened my sensitivity against things that I know for a fact. Okay, this will bring me no fulfillment, this will bring me no pleasure. This will bring me no closer to being the person that I need to be tomorrow. Therefore, let me not waste time on it.

Speaker 1: 16:38

And that came from taking some college classes that I didn't really care about, but I just need to fill the time, and that was negative for me. That was not a great experience, necessarily, but I gained that benefit Working at the school that I worked at during that time that I felt aimless, that honestly, that in and of itself, that whole job, that whole family that I worked with, that was a true benefit, and that probably wouldn't have happened if I was just gung ho about college and knew everything that I was going to do in the next five years, with steps included. That was a true benefit of me being lost in that season of my life, fast forward to my joining the military. A true benefit of me going through that boot camp experience is that I gained a heck, one heck of a boost to my confidence after failing battle stations, which is the name of that final test that we have to take, or the final exercise that we have to go through. I failed it once and then, you know, in the Behind the Mine episode you'll find out what happened.

Speaker 1: 17:54

But having made it on the other side of that, or having made it to the other side, I've learned things about myself that I didn't know were possible, gained a level of confidence in my own ability to dig deep and cling to an identity that is greater than the one that I currently have. Cling to a name that is stronger than the one that I currently own, clinging to an ideal that is more robust than any sort of negative thought or mindset that could assail me. That, my friends, was one of the many true benefits that I'd gleaned from those difficult circumstances. So this could easily fall under quote-unquote true perspective. But it's not just about how you see things. It's also about what you take from it, what are you going to apply from it. And, of course, all of this takes time and effort and practice to build up as far as the muscle and the habit of not just positive thinking, but functionally positive thinking. Not just, oh, things will get better, but okay, I know things will get better. But what can I learn right now? How can I improve right now? What's a one degree change in the right direction that I can make right now? We are all capable of that kind of adjustment. We are all capable of that kind of growth. You are capable of that kind of transformation right now, with nobody else's help, no extra pills, no magical words, no abracadabra, just you.

Speaker 1: 20:00

That, by the way, is the true you, the you that is about to decide yeah, I'm not going to do the same thing I did yesterday.

Speaker 1: 20:09

That's the true you, the you that's saying yeah, I am tired of you, know, repeating this story over and over. I am tired of encountering such negative situations and just being completely deflated and defeated by them every time. I am tired of that. That is the true you. So I ask you, why not step into that? Why not embrace it, even if there's somebody you know over you, just holding you back and telling you that you have to stay a certain way, who's to say that you have to listen to that? Well, I certainly won't be the one telling you that. What I will say instead is that you have a right to freedom, you have a right to confidence, you have a right to true love, you have a right to happiness, joy, fulfillment. All it takes is just that 1% change every day. That is a true benefit and that is how you get on the road to thinking as speaking as living as the true you.

Speaker 2: 21:37

Thanks for listening.