16. "Home School" pt4

It's all about making adjustments this time around.  Are you truly prepared to make the move, or are there a few more boxes that should be checked?

In this episode, Jason relays some of the forgotten challenges involved in reclaiming space (physical/relational/spiritual).

Chapters

• 0:00 Reentering Relationships With Proper Preparation
• 12:11 Deeper Reflections for Self-Improvement

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Have you ever picked up the phone and, against your better judgment, gotten back in contact with someone that you knew was not good for you at that point in time and or season? Was it ever too soon to reopen those channels of communication? Channels of communication, was it ever too soon to move back into that home of a relationship that was not properly furnished or properly renovated in time? I'm not saying that this person in question was never meant to re-enter your life. I'm only making the point that sometimes we move a little too quickly on things that require a little bit more patience and preparation. Hi, my name is Jason.

Speaker 1: 0:58

I'm a speaker, my passion, not just a hobby. My calling is to help you to think as, speak as and live as the true you. We do that by discussing things like today as far as practical ways for you to apply certain principles to your life Just like I do, and just like I'm constantly learning to do Because you know nobody's perfect in this world In order to get to the place where you are living the life that you actually want to live, the life that is true to who you really are Now. If you're a constant listener or a regular listener, you'll notice that today's format is a little unorthodox and that has an exact connection to today's topic anyway. So I apologize in advance for the quality of this episode's audio because I'm having to call several audibles, but anyway, let's get into it.

Speaker 1: 2:18

As far as moving into relationships or situations sooner than you are prepared to, it's inevitable that you will encounter difficulty, discomfort and even some distress. Here's an example I give as a result of this. This episode is called what Homeschool Part 4, I believe and it has been a now long-running series now for four weeks, now for a month, of just little lessons, and sometimes not so little lessons that I've been learning from having to do so much DIY in our house the house that my wife and I bought when we got married. And just for those of you that aren't caught up on the whole story, we since May of 2023, we've been out of the house and have yet to be able to move back in. But, long story short, we're in the final stages of getting the house quote-unquote livable so that we can move back in, and that, of course, should be. You know enough. Enough of a hint as to why I'm talking about moving back into things or reinitializing certain relationships before you're prepared.

Speaker 1: 3:48

The example I want to take today is for the certain areas in our home that require well, that previously had hardwood floors. Now there are certain spots where there are little divots in the concrete slab. So that's the foundation of our home is. There's no crawl space underneath it's a concrete slab, so just one flat, you know, slab of concrete.

Speaker 1: 4:17

Now, in the removal of the previous hardwood floors that had a bunch of mold under it, by the way, it was disgusting. Thankfully I didn't have to do that there was left some well, there was left evidence of destruction. There was left evidence of removal, of an operation that had to take place, something bad that was in the home that needed to be forcibly removed. Almost always in relationships or in your job or in something as physical as a house, when you have to forcibly remove something that used to be there as just a normal piece of the entity that we're talking about, but due to an infection, due to a disease, due to an issue that needed immediate response, like mold, an infestation of mold, there will almost always be evidence of that removal. Be evidence of that removal. There will almost always be scars or scabs, craters from the destruction that took place.

Speaker 1: 5:35

And that's exactly the state that our floors are in. On the concrete slab there are little mini craters where they had to hammer out the nails to be able to pull up the hardwood floors, or, at the very least, the nails that were used to hold the underlayment in place, the underlayer for the hardwood floors. Alongside the craters, though, there are also little pieces, little small mini towers of the old nails that are still very rigidly embedded into the concrete slab. So imagine that we're doing we're actively doing some renovation work on our house almost every day throughout the week, and we have to be mindful now of those little mini dips in the concrete floor so that we don't trip or, you know, twist your ankle or whatever, and, as well as the nails, the remainder of the nails that are still in the floor. Now, at this point they're not so high that it's just always catching on your foot, but it's it's not as much of an issue, because most of our floors are covered up by boxes of, you know, tiles and big pieces of drywall that we're having to reinstall and whatnot. So a lot of the floors are covered by just construction material. Therefore, there's not just these vast expanses of walking space that are just. That's just a you know cover for a minefield of tripping and ankle breaking. As funny as it is, is that not unlike? Is that the right way of saying it? There we go. That is not.

Speaker 1: 7:50

Unlike many of our relationships, many of our home situations or work situations where there was probably previously there was previously an issue. The issue was dealt with in that a removal had taken place or an operation had taken place, an incision was done, the tumor was removed and there is still damage, the wound has not fully closed or the wound has not fully healed. Therapy has not been undertaken, reconciliatory conversations have not been had, new and more healthy boundaries have not been set. You know what everything I just listed is an example of. To directly address the example I took of our concrete slab, by the way, what that would look like for us is filling in those holes and sawing off the tops of those nail, the, the end of the nails that are still in the floor, to then create a relatively flat surface that is now prepared for the new floors that we're going to have to install. It's only at that point that we'll be ready to move back in, that it'll be truly safe for us to move back in Anything short of that and we are setting ourselves up not for immediate pain, not for immediate suffering, but for some major issues later on.

Speaker 1: 9:51

Imagine, just imagine, if we installed the hardwood floors now, as opposed to when we got the concrete slab flat and prepared for the hardwood floors. Number one the installation would not be smooth because we'd have to force the underlayment and the hardwood floors down on top of those little mini towers and then in any dips that are big enough, it would create a bit of a bowing of the floor, a hogging or a bowing. A hogging or a bowing, I can't remember which one means that the floor is bending downwards and which one means that the floor is bending, you know, bulging upwards. But either way, I hope you get the visual that I'm trying to portray through my words here. Not only would it be hard in installation, it would simply create an unbalanced floor in the future. Imagine putting a table on that. It would be wobbly because not all four feet would be sitting level. It just it's.

Speaker 1: 11:05

Let me put it this way it's just a recipe for disaster long term, just like hopping back into any relationship that has not been properly gauged firstly, if it's even worth hopping back into? And secondly, if the answer is yes to the first question, then have the proper preparations been made for healing to take place, for boundaries to be set, and are you mature enough to be able to, when necessary, say no, I'm not ready, or they're not ready, or right now is just not the time. Maybe not a direct no to can we get back together? Maybe right now it's just not yet. So I hope this has been helpful to you.

Speaker 1: 12:11

I pray that this serves you well as just a reminder that not every denial is final. Sometimes it's just an indicator of some deeper work that needs to be done first. And it's not to punish, it's not to say that you'll never be ready or that you're not worthy of the relationship that you desire. But it is in an effort, but it is a step that you have to take, in an effort to take better care of you. And guess what, when you do that for yourself, those around you also benefit from that maturity, also benefit from that preparation and that care that you take. Again, I hope this has been helpful and I hope this has inspired you To take stock of certain things, certain relationships that surround you, and to check. Are my floors cratered? Do I still have some nails that need to be removed? Am I good? Are they good? Whoever it is, it's an important question to ask. So I hope that helps and I hope I've made it simple enough for you to think as, speak as and live as the true you. Thanks for listening.