Motherhood & Business

Summary
In this conversation, Christa shares her personal experiences and challenges of balancing motherhood and business. She emphasizes that there is no perfect balance and that each person's journey will look different. She discusses the importance of finding what works well for oneself and not feeling the need to justify one's choices. Christa also talks about the recovery from her C-section and the support she received from her husband and students. She highlights the significance of having close friends who can provide encouragement and advice, as well as seeking guidance from those who have already navigated the journey of motherhood and business. Christa also touches on the importance of self-care, clear communication with one's spouse, and being present in the moment with her baby.

Takeaways

• There is no perfect balance between motherhood and business, and each person's journey will look different.
• Finding what works well for oneself and not feeling the need to justify one's choices is important.
• Having close friends who can provide encouragement and advice is invaluable.
• Seeking guidance from those who have already navigated the journey of motherhood and business can be helpful.
• Taking care of oneself is essential for being a better business owner and mother.
• Clear communication with one's spouse is important for managing expectations and needs.
• Being present in the moment with one's baby is a valuable experience.
• Self-reflection and self-awareness are key in finding a balance that works for oneself.

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Transcript

Christa (00:00.735)
Okay, I feel like I have to start this off with a breath because this is something that's probably gonna be kind of hard for me to share. A lot of the things that I share as education or on the podcast is I've done this and it's worked well. So here's what I did. And when it comes to motherhood and business, I don't have it figured out. And so this is not coming from here are tips to balance the two, but more just a transparent look at the things that I've worked through every day and maybe some helpful tips of how others have blessed me with advice on this journey.

so that I am able to maybe be a blessing to someone else. And I don't really share a lot about my daughter's face or name on social media, that is intentional, but when I have shared glimpses of balancing the two, it's been really amazing the encouragement I've gotten just from my community and friends and others who follow me because I've just realized it is a never -ending journey working and being a mom.

And so the first thing that I've learned is there really is no perfect balance. And I think I just crave that and I seek that of like, if I just have all these things in place, it'd be perfect. And I don't think there is one. And I just remember, and I've gotten better at it, but just feeling the guilt of being with her, feeling like I need to work. And then the guilt of working, feeling like I need me with her. And it's just really hard. And I think it's important to find what works well for you. And it's going to look different than anyone else, maybe even like your bestest, bestest friends or.

others who do exactly the same job you do and that that's okay. And I really struggled with that. And I really had to come to a point of, I don't need to justify what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. I can do it because I feel like this is the best decision for where I'm at and what I need for my daughter, what she needs for our family. And that's okay. And so I had my daughter last September, I had her VSC section and I did work right up until I had her.

And having a C -section was planned in the sense of it wasn't an emergency. It wasn't ideal, obviously, to be recovering from surgery with a newborn. But due to just what my doctors were telling me with where she was at, we just decided that was best. And I will say the recovery was actually a lot harder for me than I anticipated. I feel like I bounced back from things pretty quick. I really worked hard at staying healthy through my pregnancy, and that really knocked me down.

Christa (02:18.327)
And I feel almost like a little bit of a baby about it. And I almost wonder secretly if maybe something went wrong a little bit with it, just because the others that I talked to who've had C -sections, sometimes I think, man, mine, I don't know. I just really struggled recovering from mine, just to be really honest. But obviously I was at home with my baby. Edward was so helpful. He does so much for us, like 10 out of 10 dad. He's kind of going back to work. I'm getting it all figured out.

I was actually excited about popping back into work. I was actually looking forward to it. I like what I do. I like what I teach. I like who I teach it to. I like making money. And so my husband did encourage me to take longer than I even wanted to. And I have to tell y 'all, I have the best students. So I have this upper level pod. I coach very intensely and obviously extended their time in the pod from when I was entering into the season who literally said, Krista, like they told, my students told me you take the time you need.

We will be fine. And I cannot tell you how much that meant. I don't think I've ever gotten this emotional on a podcast episode and like trying to hold it back, but they understood most of them were moms and even the ones not moms, like they understood like how precious this time was and you don't get it back. However, I think that easily if you, if you put that on your mind too much for myself can cause a lot of guilt of like, don't have, I don't get this time back, but also I just am not wired to sit home staring at a baby.

That's not where I thrive. I love my baby. I love being a mom so much more than I ever thought possible, but I have to get out. I have to stay busy. I like my brain staying active and doing things. That's not to say it's not if you're staying at home with your child. It just looks so different for everyone. And a friend told me, she said, she's really close with me. And she said, Chris, if you want to pop back in earlier than what other people do, it could even be good for you. It's okay. You don't have to feel guilty. And I just needed to hear that.

if maybe you're in a position and you're hearing the leaves others are taking and that looks different for you, whether longer, whether shorter, I almost needed that permission to not have to justify it and know that it's okay. So here we are, y 'all getting really transparent here. And I also am like very keen on like I've had my toes stepped on in this journey. I've had people make a lot of comments, not a lot. I have heard comments of negative towards how I do things the way I do it. And I just want to make sure

Christa (04:42.377)
I would never be the reason someone feels less about what they're doing and instead I want this to be encouraging. So it's my hope. I'm trying to think very carefully through what I'm saying because of that. So going off of that, I also have found the internet can make you feel really guilty about what you're doing and why you're doing it with all of the reels about motherhood and things like that and what others do. And then you go to the comment section and people are tearing each other apart. And I've just found it's better just not to...

Look at that, even saw something last night and I actually kind of sat there a bit and started thinking through it of like, wow, am I doing this wrong? Like, am I a bad mom because she does X, Y, Z and that just doesn't work for me. And to really not get sucked up in that because it's really, really easy for me to get on that guilt train. But one thing that had and has really helped me a lot, especially, especially at the beginning was having those two to three really, really close friends.

that you can share the intimate raw details of what's going on and how you're doing and how the baby's doing and how you're feeling and your decisions when it comes to breastfeeding or not breastfeeding or childcare or not childcare. And they're just there to support and encourage you. And it doesn't mean that they are doing it exactly like you're doing it, but it means they love you and they wanna support you on that journey. And that was

huge for me, just people that like, you don't have to have that filter up of like, you know, but I love my baby, but XYZ or I love my husband, but today XYZ it's like, of course you love your baby and your husband. You don't need to lead with that. You can just say this was a hard night. I'm not exactly sure what to do here because yes, people love, love, love to give you advice about babies and what they did with their baby and what happened with their birth. And

I'm so grateful like for spaces that I can share that like I love sharing about my baby, my birth, but I also understand when you're just trying to navigate things for yourself and figuring it out and having people to dig deep with you of like, Hey, have you tried this? Have you tried that? And they, they're just there. And people, yes, who check in with you, that was huge. remember a couple of people who would text me like almost daily, like how did last night go? And that meant so much to me and was something I would never

Christa (07:02.439)
even think to do for a new mom to text her every day asking her about the night, right? And now it's like, wow, I feel so, I've apologized to my friends who are moms before me, because I was like, I just didn't know. Like that, and I'm so sorry I was not there for you more, but like, I just didn't know. But also people that you can verbalize when you need help. When it is a tough day. I had a friend I text one time and my daughter was a pretty easy baby, but I just remember one day she wouldn't stop crying. And I just had exhausted my options and

a friend that I texted and she called me and I was just crying and I was like, I just don't know what to do. And of course she gave me advice and it was exactly what my baby needed and it was all good. But just to have those friends that you know, you're not bothering them. Just like I would never feel bothered if one of my friends who has a baby calls me and asks for help. So just like having those relationships. So the reason I say two to three close ones is again, being really cautious about this because you are sharing intimate raw details and

Not that you should assume anyone in your life doesn't care, but I think it can get really confusing if you're getting a lot of advice from a lot of different people who are doing things, not how you want to do it. That can get really challenging and tricky. And I'm really thankful for those really close friends. I also am really thankful for those a step ahead of me. So my pastor's wife is one of them who means more to me than she'll ever know where even recently she, one of the reasons I have so much respect

for her is first of all, how firm her faith is. And that's something that I just really look up to as a woman, as a mother, as a wife of the way she loves other people. It's just her, she walks the walk. It's not just talk. Like it's so evident and she's also VP of a very successful large company. And I have so much respect for her for being the believer that she is.

the mom that she is, the wife that she is while also running, like having all these work responsibilities on her plate as well. And having people who are in a season like you ahead of you to go to for advice is so helpful. People who have done it before you that you respect how they did it. whatever that looks like, I don't want to go through all the positions. You get what I'm saying for me working and being a mom. Like I want advice from those ahead of me who have done both and have looked

Christa (09:26.043)
can look back and share tips and insight with me. Just like you don't get, obviously weight loss advice from someone overweight or financial advice from someone broke. Like look at someone who has done it and done it well that you want to resonate. And that's been just incredibly eye opening and like humbling to me to just be very raw and open because I struggle with that. I want to have it all together. I don't want to feel like I'm always falling apart. And when there were months like that,

I needed help of what is going on. Like I need to hear. And for me, my faith is really important to me. So coming to someone who shares that and aligns with me of, Krista, here's what we need to do here. And I actually had one of my best friends sit down with me one month and just look at me and be like, you're, you are not yourself. Like I am worried about you. What do you need? And to have people in your life like that is really encouraging. If you don't have people like that in your life.

I would definitely recommend getting involved in a local church and you don't go there just to see what you can get out of it. It needs to be obviously like you giving into that too, but our church has become family to us. It's been so amazing seeing them transform from friends and relationships to like actually feeling like family that I share the deepest things with. And I'm so thankful for that. But also looking at

I've really flipped it on how can I be that to someone else and what are relationships that I can cultivate? This is something I have to actively do to be what others have been to me. So like, want to pour back into others and that's something, especially in this season where I do have limited time, I am taking care of a baby, I am running a business, but really making sure I'm taking the time to do that for others. Okay. The other thing that I've really had to work on doing is being really clear.

with my needs to my spouse. So Edward and I are actually very different people. If you know us, you know that. And it works really well because he is so passive, so chill, so he's a hard worker. He is by no means lazy, but it takes a lot to ruffle his feathers. I'm trying to think if I've seen it, like if you, if you are very, very, very few people, if you've ever seen him like really upset or mad, like he's just really stable.

Christa (11:47.967)
And I am not, am the opposite. I am a whirlwind tornado up and down all over the place. And so because of that, I've just had to get really clear on like expectations and what I need and how I'm doing and not put like him. I can get very passive aggressive, like not put him on a guilt trip if it wasn't what I was thinking or what I was wanting.

or what I felt like was best for the baby. But I've had to get really clear on just like verbalizing, like, this is what I need, not making it a guessing game, but just sharing, here's what I'm at, here's where I'm at, here's where I need help with, and being open to his advice. So the other really cool thing about Edward is he has been so incredible stepping into his role as a dad, where there's been multiple times where I truly was at my breaking point and just did not know what the baby needed, what I needed. And for him, he was able to, and I'm so thankful for this, come in.

and really provide the extra insight of like, maybe she needs this. And it's almost like, I was telling a girlfriend of mine, we were saying the same thing. It's almost annoying when they're right. And you're like, couldn't I have figured this out? But I'm really thankful for that. So it's been really humbling in my marriage as well, just realizing I can't do it all by myself. The other thing that's really taught me motherhood in business is like being, working hard at taking care of myself. That's been really hard because you're taking care of baby, you're running the business.

You're doing these things. And so sometimes those self -care things can really get pushed to the back burner of like, does this need to happen? Do I need to do this? But I have found that taking care of myself does make me a better business owner and a better mom. It's kind of like a circle where if you don't have the time for it, you just keep running ragged. But if you do have the time for it, it allows me to pour more into these other areas. And this is something I'm really working on and working through. So I don't really have any other tips here for you other than I really had to make it an effort. Even this morning.

of taking the time to make a healthy smoothie for my husband and I that's full of fruits and vegetables and these things that I know will really help me start my day better, even though I'm tired and don't really feel like it. And then also it's taught me, I don't wanna say taught me, it's teaching me it's okay to take breaks because again, this is a struggle for me.

Christa (13:58.443)
And my husband has been really encouraging to me about this of like, you don't always have to be working on something. And that's just how my mind worked before, even before kids, I kind of had that liberty to, Edward's really understanding, really supportive of my work. And so it's not that I worked all the time, but I mean, I could just work at a different pace and go at a different pace and work longer and kind of do whatever I wanted. Whereas now obviously it can be hard when I feel like I'm taking care of the baby or I have this work to do and I have this break.

let's catch up on work. And so I've had to learn it's okay to take a break. It's okay if I don't have the baby, right? If she's at her daycare or whatever, or with a family member and I don't have work to do to like not have to do work. And sometimes that means I need to pick up the house or sometimes I can just kick back and not do anything and turn on a show and that that's okay to do. I have to like give myself permission to do that sometimes.

The other thing it's really taught me is multitasking is really hard and everyone always says this and I know it's in every business book and I've read it and I teach it to my students, but I've really learned it at a different level. And it's just a lot better for me if I can be really intentional on the baby or really intentional with work. And I really struggle guys. I'm gonna be very honest to put my phone aside and be intentionally playing with her, especially like less than one when they can only do so much.

Some are very gifted at this and I want you to know I envy you. If you're a woman out there, if you're a mom out there and you just love sitting on the floor, playing with your baby and you're gifted at that, like I actually envy you because it's not something I feel like I'm naturally gifted at. And I really have to make it a point to put distractions aside, turn the TV off, put my phone aside and just like be with her one -on -one. And I love my baby. I love spending time with her. She is my whole world.

And this isn't to justify that, but it's to also share. I was surprised at how much I love being a mom because like I said, I'm a very go, go, go person. I don't really like to be held up. I like things moving at a certain pace. I like to be busy. I love my job. I love, you know, trying to build a successful business. And we knew when we wanted to have kids, like I would say we were like as ready as you can

Christa (16:23.061)
But goodness, I did not realize like how much I would love it and then how much I love it more and more and more the older she gets. Still hard days, still frustrating days, but it's just so fun. And I hear it just gets better and better, which you ahead of me have told me that. So thank you. And I just want to encourage you out there too, if you're wondering about that, I would obviously never say it. Like don't just jump into it aimlessly, but there's, I've realized I can totally see why there's never a point you'll be fully prepared or fully ready. There's always something else I could be doing, but.

I just crave that time with her naturally. Like it's so special. Even though I just told you, I don't thrive sitting on the floor playing with her. I've gotten better and better at it. And it's gotten more and more fun, the older and more interactive she's gotten. Where now I do really enjoy it. But when she was younger, it was a little bit harder. But I just crave that time with her. I love it. I love hanging out with my friends with babies and we just kind of let them all play together. We just were at the pool last night with some friends with our babies and it's just, it's just great. And it's, it's worth it. It's worth every second of it, of

the tearful days trying to figure out what to do, the long nights trying to navigate that, the shifts I've had to make. And I'm here to say too, just because I want to be really transparent about where I'm at, I do have childcare help. That's been a big blessing that I'm so thankful for. So I can be really intentional in my work when I work, really intentional with the baby when I'm with my baby, and just continuously working through that. And I'm really, really thankful for that. I just want to be very transparent and open about where I'm at as I share this.

I hope this was encouraging to you. Again, it was really raw. This was very, a little bit emotional for me to talk through. And I'm just so incredibly thankful for this season that the Lord has given to me. And I'll keep you posted as we navigate this all the time. She's turning one here in a couple months, which is crazy, fastest year of my life. And I'm so thankful for a job that I can do both, that I can be a mom and spend a lot of time with my baby and that I can run a business. I'm so grateful for those that I get to teach how to do that. Most of my students are mom.

Most of my upper level students are moms. And when I think of my top, top, top students who have had the biggest leaps in income, okay, so not even like are making the most, but had like the biggest leaps and who have made the most coaching with me, they're moms. And I don't think that's happenstantial. I think that you really hit that point of like, my time is so valuable. It is not worth giving up or finding a childcare person for, or.

Christa (18:48.511)
all these extra things to coordinate, to not be making enough, to not be charging my work, to not being able to add something to my family's income. So I want to encourage you, if that's you, if you're looking at your business, your kids, and you're like, is there a way I can not have to always book more, but grow my income? That's what I do. That's what I teach. That's why this gave me a renewed passion for what I teach, because I saw it more than ever of like, man, if I'm leaving my baby for this, like it has to be worth it. And I want to be able

pour into my clients without holding back. If that's you, I teach how to become full service without needing a big fancy studio. Shoot me a DM and let's chat.