Chaos and Critique in the Realm of Shadows; An Underworld Adaptation of The Boy Who Cried Wolf, Aesop's Fable From Greece; Mini-Episode 18 of Fireside Folklore with Hades

In this whimsical episode of Fireside Folklore with Hades, our host, the ever-stern yet somehow indulgent Lord of the Underworld, finds his tranquil reflections interrupted not by the cries of tormented souls, but by the mischievous antics of Paula the Poltergeist. As the interim ferryman of the deceased, Hades is no stranger to the unexpected, but even he couldn't foresee the chaos that unfolds when Cerberus, his trusty three-headed hound, is falsely accused of breaking loose.

Journey with us as Hades navigates the tumultuous waters of the Styx, not once, not twice, but thrice, in response to Paula's cries of "Cerberus! Cerberus!" In a twist of fate that only the Underworld could concoct, discover the true nature of Cerberus's alleged escape and witness how our Lord Hades addresses the poltergeist's playful yet perilous pranks.

As the episode unfolds, Hades also shares a poignant letter from Tisiphone, one of the three Furies, who chides him for his leniency towards a certain deceptive soul, reminding Hades and us all of the delicate balance between justice and mercy in the realm of the dead.

In a delightful turn of events, find out how Cerberus finds a new "chew toy," leading to an unexpected photo opportunity that's sure to make waves across Godstagram. Amidst the chaos, Hades imparts a modern twist to the classic Aesop fable "The Boy Who Cried Wolf," leaving listeners to ponder the timeless lessons of truth, trust, and the consequences of deceit.

Join us in this episode for a dose of mythological mischief, underworld wisdom, and the whimsical charm that only Fireside Folklore with Hades can provide. It's a tale of canine capers and spectral shenanigans that you won't want to miss. Tune in, if you dare, and remember: in the Underworld, even the wildest tales hold a grain of truth.

And, as always, if you have tales to tell, comments to share, or simply seek counsel from the depths of Hades' wisdom, reach out to us at hades@firesidefolklorewithhades.com.

Until next time, keep the fire burning and the stories churning. Goodnight from the Underworld!

Transcript

Hades: Greetings listeners, the ferry travels on, and I am once more at the helm. It would appear that today, we have quite a peaceful journey ahead of us, so I do believe I’ll spend some time simply reflecting on the direction I’ve taken thus far with this podcast and where it may go in the future. First of all … 

Paula: Cerberus! He’s gotten loose and he’s on the attack! 

Hades: Well listeners, there’s never a dull moment in the Underworld. I’d best get over there to see what’s going on. I can’t believe my old boy broke loose. Why isn’t Persephone managing this? Ugh! 

[Hades paddles quickly across the Styx, and disembarks with his latest group of shades. He finds Cerberus at the gates just as he always has been.] 

Hades: So, it’s Paula the poltergeist. I should have known. You may think it fun raising a ruckus and getting everyone excited by shouting, “Cerberus! Cerberus!”, but mark my words, my dear. Someday, Cerberus will leave his post and nobody will believe you. Where would you be then? You know he has always had a hankering to enjoy poltergeist puppy chow. Don’t let me catch you doing this again. Do I make myself clear? 

Paula: Oh, of course, my Lord Hades! It was just a bit of harmless fun! Honest! 

Hades: Just a bit of harmless fun? Right! 

[Walks away with disgust.] 

Hades: Now where was I? Ah yes, I was going to reflect on the podcast and what I learned after four months of sitting around the fire sharing folklore. There has been a great deal of camaraderie between myself, Persephone, Hermes, and even my younger brother Zeus. However, … 

Paula: Cerberus! Cerberus! You must believe me! He’s broken loose this time. I swear! He really has!

Hades: I really ought to just let that poltergeist scream her head off. Yet, if Cerberus has broken loose, then there will be chaos in the Underworld. And if the poltergeist is up to her old tricks, then I really must put her hollering to an end. The weary souls who rest here deserve better. Ugh! 

[Paddles once more to the shore.] 

Hades: Paula! What is this about Cerberus breaking loose? 

Paula: Oh Lord Hades, I was having a bit of fun, your Highness! Nothing more. He’s safe and sound, see? 

Hades: Paula, your fun has disrupted the workings of the Underworld. I have had to disembark from this ferry several times now, making the souls who are due to enter my realm wait. Do not let me hear you shouting about Cerberus breaking free again. I will not believe you. 

Paula: Yes, Lord Hades. Of course! 

Hades: Very good. Now go find something else to do. 

[Hades paddles away, and Paula speaks when he is out of earshot.] 

Paula: Lord Hades is a softie. He will come running when I call again. I just know it!

Hades: Now where was I? Never mind. Since it appears I may deal with that poltergeist Paula again soon enough, let’s instead read a letter from one of our listeners. This is from Tisiphone, one of the three Furies who administers justice in the Underworld. 

Dear Lord Hades, 

I’ve generally enjoyed your podcast, but this last one was an absolute doozy! I can’t believe you let this charlatan, Simon Renaud, slip through my grasp! I was so looking forward to giving his backside a taste of my snake-whip, but did you allow me the pleasure? Oh no! You played some silly game with him in which you let him guess your name for the chance to enter Elysium. Elysium! I’m sorry to have to say this, but you’ve grown soft, my lord. Softer than an overcooked carrot! 

And what’s more, the idea of a trickster like Mr. Renaud sipping nectar and ambrosia in an Elysian garden is about as appealing as the Minotaur being let loose in a china shop! Next time you must handle an unscrupulous soul, call on me before your compassionate judgment causes you to be laughed out of the Underworld!

In conclusion, while your podcast is a delight – truly, a beacon in the eternal gloom – let's remember the old saying in Tartarus: 'Spare the whip, spoil the mortal.' A bit of Fury flair can go a long way!

With fiery regards and a hint of snake venom, Tisiphone (Your Favorite Whip-Wielding Fury)

P.S. If you ever need someone to put the 'torment' back in 'eternal torment,' you know where to find me!

Paula: Cerberus! Cerberus! He's really gone berserk this time!

Hades: Again? Really? Does she take me for a fool? Well I’ll teach this impudent little poltergeist a lesson. I’m not going to go rowing to her rescue, even if Cerberus has broken free, but I’m pretty sure that if I went back there, I’d see what I saw two times before: Cerberus at his post with the shades rolling their eyes at the ruckus Paula is making. 

[Cerberus lets out a playful bark.] 

Paula: Lord Hades! Lord Hades! Please help!

[Cerberus barks once more.] 

Hades: Hmm, perhaps there is a grain of truth to Paula’s cries after all. Against my better judgment, I must go see. 

[Hades paddles over to the scene.] 

Hermes: Uncle Hades! Look at this! Cerberus has a new chew toy! It looks like your quip about Cerberus’s Chew Toys came true and we can start hawking them on the podcast after all! 

Hades: What? No kidding? 

Hermes: Nope! He’s got Paula the Poltergeist in his mouth. I’ve never seen him so happy! I’m going to snap some photos! 

[Hermes takes pictures.] 

Hades: Carry on, then. I think I’ll let her stew for a bit. 

Paula: Lord Hades! Please! He’s slobbering all over me! 

[Hermes snaps more photos.] 

Hermes: This is definitely going on Godstagram! 

Paula: Lord Hades, please! Make him stop! 

Hades: Very well. Cerberus, let her go, boy. She’s not very tasty anyway! 

Paula: I beg to differ! I am so very tasty! 

Hades: I wouldn’t say that if I were you, or Cerberus might change his mind. 

[Hermes puts the photos up on Godstagram.] 

Paula: You didn’t! How could you put those on Godstagram? Now I’ll never be able to live it down!

Hades: Be lucky that all you wounded was your pride. It could have been much worse. Cerberus could have had you for dinner. 

[Outro music fades in.] 

Well my friends, we hope you enjoyed this Underworld adaptation of “The Boy Who Cried Wolf”, an Aesop classic from Greece. We hope you join us next time for another misadventure on the ferry. Goodnight!

[Outro music fades out.]