The CrossFit Pittsburgh Podcast
We have been a CrossFit Affiliate since 2006. We are one of the originals. My wife and I opened our doors when I was home between deployments to Iraq. It's been an amazing adventure spanning thousands of miles between us over the course of 12 years deployed to Iraq, Afghanistan and elsewhere. We formed amazing bonds. Lost good friends. And learned a lot about ourselves and our community. Throughout the course of this Podcast we will discuss all of that and more. We will talk about the people we have encountered along the way and the lessons we learned.
The CrossFit Pittsburgh Podcast
Coach Profile: Rachel Mitlo
Rachel and Jay also delve into thought-provoking comparisons between church communities and CrossFit, emphasizing inclusivity and the shared journey of self-improvement. They address common misconceptions, highlighting how CrossFit's original mission was to provide universal fitness, not just for elite athletes. Personal anecdotes offer a nostalgic look at the early days of CrossFit, coaching volleyball teams, and enduring memorable, and sometimes hilarious, experiences that underscore the importance of community spirit and collective effort.
In the latter part of the episode, Rachel and Jay open up about the poignant process of writing a book following the devastating loss of their son, Trey. The motivation to compile impactful Facebook messages evolved into a structured guide aimed at helping other parents navigate similar battles. Their heartfelt stories of grief, faith, and resilience emphasize the power of empathy and genuine support, making this episode a powerful testament to the enduring bonds and solidarity that define their community.
All right, we're here today and this is a long, long time in coming. We've got our dear friends Rachel and Jay Mitlow here with us today, and I'm not even going to go any further, because the origin story here is one of my favorite CrossFit Pittsburgh stories of all time, also with us. If you kick out one of those nobles there, babe, your foot, there we go. My wife, she's, uh, she's monitoring things, um, off camera.
Speaker 3:So anyway, she's gonna keep us in line this is actually.
Speaker 1:It's it's more your, your and jay's uh intro story here.
Speaker 2:So if you would, please could you tell us how this whole thing started so rachel was not necessarily what you would call an athlete growing up and in high school Played softball but wasn't really an athlete and had gone to the gym a couple times and just gyms, and then, after our second, Third, do you want me to tell it?
Speaker 3:Sure, okay, so let's go back in time. It was 2008.
Speaker 3:We'd had our third baby and a dear friend of mine had asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, and so I knew, all right, I have about nine months. I got to get him. Yeah, I got that one right Need to get back in shape and our YMCA had just closed. No, whatever, anyway, needed to work out, didn't know what to do, didn't know where to start. And Jay says well, you know, there's a CrossFit gym down in Verona. And I said what is CrossFit? Because he was following UFC and a lot of the fighters were doing.
Speaker 3:CrossFit. And so I looked it up, I doing CrossFit. And so I looked it up, I'm like, oh, I can't, I can't do that. Like there's no way, like no, absolutely not. And he goes. Well, I already made an appointment for you to meet with Jen and Mike. And I was like what? He's like, yeah, we're going tomorrow morning, so go find your shoes.
Speaker 2:And I was like, uh, okay, and so I, you know, I said to her I don't want you to go to the y and do the the legs out, legs in and then go stand on the treadmill and it's just it's not gonna work.
Speaker 2:I knew the cross training was the way to go and so I stopped down at your location in in verona and I wandered in and met jen and saw some of the ladies there and I forget. I always tell the story. The one lady was like 65 years old who carried her little notebook yeah and and I. Oh, it was that time or later where she was so excited because she was able to carry her five-year-old grandson through the airport.
Speaker 1:I remember that, yeah.
Speaker 2:And so you know, I told Rachel and we went down and you can probably take it from there.
Speaker 3:So I met you guys came in, did like the CrossFit on-ramp type workout thing and was like I can't squat, I can't do anything. And then I went home and I think I cried a little bit and Jay was like, well, you have to go back. I was Jen's going to think you're a quitter. And I'm like.
Speaker 3:I'm not a quitter, I'm just out of shape. And he's like, well, then, you have to go back. And I's like, well then, you have to go back. And I'm like, okay, fine. And so I went back and got hooked. I mean, it really was like a really immediate like oh, okay, I can do this. It is working, you know.
Speaker 2:How was it different than if I may take your role? How was it different than your expectations?
Speaker 3:well, I didn't have any expectations because I didn't think I could do anything, but it just. It felt really cool to get on a barbell, like I'd never touched a barbell before, I didn't know, or like a pull-up bar or anything, and just to be surrounded by other people that have the same goal and the you know same attitude, like okay, I can't do this yet, and how do you work towards that? And you know that progression. And then you know very quickly being able to do kipping pull-ups or you know deadlifting.
Speaker 3:You know, when I got to like 95 pounds I was like, oh yay, I did it, you know. And now maybe over 200, I don't know. But but to see that progression and actual results and I think feeling strong supersedes being skinny and that's sort of the trend now, like I'm never going to be a size zero again, that's fine, but I'm strong and I can do things.
Speaker 2:And that's much more powerful.
Speaker 3:That's such a great line. I'm strong and I can do things, and that's much more powerful, I'm strong and I can do things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right that's much more powerful than a t-shirt that's why jim the scribe is off camera.
Speaker 1:But you know, I I love that because, uh, lately, one of the things that we've we've been able to do was, um, and I wanted to do this and I just came to maybe like two birds with one stone almost. I wanted to do a profile on all of our coaches, you know, to kind of like, hey, what brought you to CrossFit in the first place, what brought you to CrossFit Pittsburgh, and so forth, you know. So, byron and I, our schedule was linked up and it was really neat, you know, getting his perspective, because what's fascinating, just like now, is you know how long, how long have you been a member of our community? How long have we known each other? But the, the intricacies that you didn't really like.
Speaker 1:That to me ties back, and I, I mentioned this with byron, I mentioned this with blake, um, chris nolan, when he was with us. One of the things that he said to me that I was really I don't I wouldn't want to say blindsided, because that sounds negative but I he said, you know, one of the things I really love about you guys, I was like I can't imagine, like what's what's happening right now, you know. And he said, you know, and this was when social media was probably in it's like maybe not it's infancy, but it's toddler period, he said, when you post photographs, and this honest to God never crossed my mind, not intentional.
Speaker 1:He's like, when you post photographs, you post photographs of everyone, all of us, and I was like, and in that instant I was like, oh Lord, like, should I have asked, should we have a waiver? Like I didn't think, and before I could even form a question, he went. I mean, I think that's great. He's like, you know, when you look at a lot of the other websites, he's like it's the pretty people, it's the fit people, and I'm like, well, you know, I mean, they're out there, right.
Speaker 1:But I think too, to me, the essence of CrossFit was this is all inclusive. To me, the essence of CrossFit was this is all inclusive, like this works for everybody, it works for anybody, and so, really, for me, it's so much fun hearing individual, you know. And, and what was funny too was like I remember that part of the story better than anything, when you talk to Jen and you're like, hey, and I for some reason I thought it was a class reunion, not a wedding, but I was like, hey, it's on the calendar, I want to be, I want to be prepared, I want to be in better shape than I am right now today, you know.
Speaker 3:So that was just that's what was one of my favorite parts of that story well, and going back to social media, I think that that's partially why CrossFit can seem intimidating, because when you google it, you only find like crossfit games athletes right and what they're doing and there's like I can't do that. I'm never going to be able to do that. But that's not what the body of crossfit is. I'm sure if you go into any affiliate, it's going to be average people just wanting to do better and get stronger and move forward, and you know.
Speaker 2:So that's what crossfit is is accessible to everybody well, I think there's an interesting parallel between our professions because people can say oh, like you only show the pretty people across it, except you don't what's your profession?
Speaker 2:oh, I'm the pastor of a church of a very non-traditional church, if you will, um, but like people will say like, oh, church is full of hypocrites, you know they're, there's a bunch of sinners and everything else. And you can say, like in church, yeah, but what? Look at you know, does crossfit not work because there's out of shape people there. Right, we're here for the out of shape people exactly right I'm, you know I'm a pastor to help the jackasses and have them be a little less jackassy. Exactly, and have them be a little more loving.
Speaker 2:So yeah, did he hurt your feelings? Probably he's not a very nice person, but at least he's working on it. I may not be an elite athlete, but I'm working.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 1:That's right? Yeah, for sure. And I think too and this was very, very interesting I remember when this happened, before ownership of CrossFit changed over, there was a strong movement, If you recall that. And I remember his exact words, greg. I guess someone questioned him about the future of the CrossFit games and he said no, look, the games are not going anywhere. They'll, they'll always be here, they'll continue. And he said but I think you know and I'm paraphrasing, they'll continue. And he said but I think you know, and I'm paraphrasing this part, he's like I think you might be missing my point. It's not that we're not having the games anymore, I just think it's time that we return crossfit to its beginning, when it was, you know, broad-based universal fitness for everyone. He said I never intended, I mean, the crossfit competitions were always a fun part of it. But he said, you know, basically, in his, in his wildest imagination, he never thought how big the games would get and at the risk of maybe pulling away from, hey, this is for everyone, you know, not just the elite athletes. But I don't, you know, I never thought why can you not do both? Sure, right, why can you not? I mean, there are some, excuse me, I think the games now attract, you know, world-class athletes. Right, their fitness is their sport, you know. But that doesn't mean that and I guess from a marketing advertising point of view, you're exactly right. It is a challenge.
Speaker 1:I was equated to the Gold's Gym logo. Right, you take a Gold's Gym franchise and you put it on like everyday fitness. I remember there's a place right in Harmerville, I think it's Alexander's. For a minute, back in the 80s, 90s they were a Gold's Gym affiliate and from one of the managers, like, it was the worst business period of our entire existence because it was just off-putting. You know, regular people would be like, oh no, that's a gold, that's for. Look at the sign. You know it was a big, bald muscle guy. You know bending a barbell or something. Right, I mean, that's, that's not for me. You know forging elite fitness. You know what I?
Speaker 2:wish you had your own microphone, I would turn it off logo would be would be like two people on a chin-up bar. One is a ripped. You know crossfit athlete, you know there's like a grandmother with a band around her foot and it's like this is us right.
Speaker 3:Yeah right and then, like two others, cheering her on or something you know when the theory of crossfit is you, when you question what does fit mean and how CrossFit touches on all aspects of that spectrum. You know when you look at somebody who only runs marathons but can't carry their luggage through the airport, is that fit Exactly Versus somebody that can deadlift 500 pounds but gets winded walking up is that fit?
Speaker 3:right no you need to touch on all of that and I feel like in my job I work as a paraprofessional at a school and we're constantly like I use crossfit movements all day, every day. Right, right, like it it does translate to functional fitness, right? Yeah?
Speaker 1:exactly, exactly and that's, I think, that's you know, 19 years later. That's why we're still doing it, because it is it's been a great trip, you know it's been a great trip. So, and and the one thing I remember from the story that I always loved was didn't, didn't you say? One of you said to Jen now, once this event takes place, you probably won't see her again.
Speaker 2:I didn't say that, yeah, I don't remember that maybe it could have.
Speaker 1:Well, it could have been one of the voices in my head but, no, because I mean it was within, I would say, three weeks, you were in oh yeah, Like you weren't stopping Right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and that was it. Like within three weeks you start to see your posture is a little bit better, your stance, like clothes are fitting better. It was doing what it was supposed to do, Right.
Speaker 1:So I was in. Right, and how long ago was that?
Speaker 3:2008.
Speaker 1:2008. Mm-hmm, that's a while.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it was only three years into you guys having it that we did that yeah.
Speaker 1:Because I was what I had just turned 18. Oh right, I think.
Speaker 3:Well, and you were not.
Speaker 1:I was not there most of the time.
Speaker 3:We were not there most of the time, so we would all bring all of our children and lock them in a room. We didn't really, we didn't.
Speaker 1:They were well cared for. Hey, listen though, that was a neat room.
Speaker 3:It was the beginning of Alex's babysitting career. She was in charge of all the children.
Speaker 1:Just so anybody watching doesn't think anything. It was a waiting room in what used to be an automotive garage that was secure from all sides. You could get into it from the gym space right, but that was the only room in the building that was climate controlled Instead of the high ceilings. You could not. You could not get in from the outside. You had to come through the gym to get in there and clean private bathroom. We laid it out like a TV room. Hey, we took a nice leather sofa from home. Yeah, Blues clues, All the videos and all that. Never lost a kid. Never lost a kid.
Speaker 3:They were all well accounted for.
Speaker 1:They were.
Speaker 3:We never left the gym, it was fine.
Speaker 1:Except for Michael, and that's when he entered upon a brief phase in his life where I would call the ass-biting stage. He did bite my bum, he did, he did.
Speaker 3:He was a child at the time.
Speaker 1:Right, yes, it wasn't recently. The first, no, god, no, he was a toddler. He was like maybe two, three. Well, they started in 2008. He was three, he was three. Yeah, Well, crazy.
Speaker 1:But yeah, I remember the first time he did that, the first time he did that, jennifer and I were standing, unfortunately Within, swinging distance of one another and we're watching the class workout. I will never forget the movement was overhead squats, and it was a young girl Kelly I think her name was, and she's got the barbell overhead right. He came out like Like lightning, I mean, just in the door into the room, he just went, he runs and and he the kids did know like hey, if you want to come out and say hi, stay out of the middle, stay away, don't get it, okay. Okay, he runs out, runs behind us, says hi and as he's about to turn and go back, he crosses her path. I don't know what catches his eye, but he stops, stops right behind her, grabs her butt, bites it and runs off. But as he, as he disengages, he goes delicious and he runs off.
Speaker 1:At that moment I'm like, oh right, like from off-camera, I get smacked. I don't laugh, I gasp. I'm like, oh, I'm like, what are you hitting me, for you know, yes, that's. Let's hope he's not a closet biter, but um, so yeah, 2008, that was uh, that was wild. Yeah, so much, so much uh history between then. And then you got your l1 well let's skip some.
Speaker 5:So jay, then after rachel started, please then jay so what was great?
Speaker 2:even though I never did and still have not done crossfit, I have much different functional fitness. I appreciate it. And so I was head coach of a girls volleyball team in penthills and we would always run conditioning and I always kind of felt like we're not really equipped for this, like because I'm a coach, because I know the x's and the o's doesn't mean I know how to physically develop so I would take a lot of what she was doing, and then I went wait a minute, so you actually came out for one season to a church that I knew and then we came.
Speaker 5:The next season Is that the way it worked out.
Speaker 2:I actually think we started out of the gym, or was that all in the same season?
Speaker 5:No, I think we started out of the gym, or did we go the other direction? Yeah, or we go the other direction.
Speaker 2:But I had Jen train my volleyball team because and I have to preface this it was an elite team. It was the best team I ever had and I've never had a team like that since. I mean some of the teams I've had since then you would have killed all of them. But there are some. Like, if you remember, there were two Kayleys on my team. I mean Corey, you obviously remember, who became an elite athlete and still is. Actually she's playing professional volleyball now. Um, but one girl. There was two Kayleys, and so the second one I called K2, because you can't have two Kayleys, and since high school she's been in like demolition derbies and like on the side of her car is K2.
Speaker 2:She's had a couple of kids couple kids and she actually mentioned recently I think she tagged you guys that she started doing CrossFit back then and that's began her career.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:And it was so much fun watching them work out.
Speaker 5:I'm pretty sure we did it for at least two summers.
Speaker 2:Right, maybe you moved by the second summer and so you came to us.
Speaker 5:yeah, you went to washington exactly that might be why I couldn't think why we would have. So that that makes sense right but I'll never forget the one time I'm close enough to the microphone please um, one of the girls she was complaining about she might be sick and she had. She told us she had fruit loops right before she came in exactly. And so jay, so casual as always, was like go throw up, and here's a stick of gum.
Speaker 3:I was like rock on, let's roll we're working out and we're just dying on the floor and I'm like I can't do it, I'm gonna throw up. And you're like, if you can talk yeah, you're not gonna throw up, keep moving, and you've never thrown up while working out no, I have more. No, I'm gonna stop before that.
Speaker 1:Cleaned up after people, but no, I'm gonna stop before it happens, I'm not that dedicated well, you know, I I mean sometimes it's it's not to be graphic or stupid or anything, but sometimes I think that's one of those responses that you might have already. You might have already reached a point where you're going to throw up. You just haven't gotten there yet. So even if you slow down, stop, what have you? The damage is done. But one of the things I remember from Washington Boulevard was there was in in one of the bathrooms there was a closet and in that closet was a utility sink. Now in the bathroom itself was a commode and a sink. Some rocket scientist and it was one of the college kids.
Speaker 1:Uh, I remember he would come in, he would train probably hungover or like not eating, you know, sensibly before a workout more than once, and this jabroni would throw up in the stationary sink. That then the um in the closet, yeah, and every blessed time I'm like, oh, god, god, this is like how in the world were you raised by wolves and not clean it up, right, right, like basically run water and leave it, and I'm like, cause, that'll help, that'll help. Oh, and I remember like the second time I cleaned it and I'm more, and I know my beautiful wife will attest to this. I've seen some things that people shouldn't see and I was okay with that. I'm not okay with it, but you know, that is one of my buttons. So as I'm trying to clean it up, I'm going and now I'm making myself sick. I'm like this is terrible. So yeah, let's not go down that road again.
Speaker 3:I brought a girl with me one time. She wanted to try it, so I brought her with me to a class and she had taken a bunch of what do you call them thermogenics beforehand. That raise your internal temperature. And she's like, no, I work out, I'll be able to handle it. And I'm like, okay, well, stop. If you need to, let's rest. And she was like, no, I can do it.
Speaker 2:Nope, about halfway through she runs to the bathroom and, like it was a bad combination, she never came back, but it's fine, it's fine, but I think one of the hidden benefits for you, if I may be so bold to say, was the fact that it gave you a whole new world. You know you have. We all have our different tribes or whatever else we roll with, but then, all of a sudden, here you are and hanging out with people that you'd never hung out with before.
Speaker 1:I mean like getting to know Byron and what, and different ladies, and you know it was just such an amazing community for you to have a different, not a new identity, but a different facet to your own identity yeah that is, and I think I think sometimes CrossFit is one of those places that and not and it's certainly again not in a negative way but you know, two people at a grocery store or you know, wouldn't even strike up a conversation like I'm looking at something and and you know you're not gonna do, hey, looking for something, try one of these. You know, I think CrossFit is one of those places that forms the most Unusual friendships. That might not happen somewhere else because your paths wouldn't cross, you know.
Speaker 3:And I think even looking at the classes today, you know there's different. And I think even looking at the classes today, you know there's different politics, different religions, different like, but it doesn't matter. When you're in here, we're all in the same goal and none of that matters. And it's more about the community, which then brings us fast forward from 2008 and 2010. Our youngest son, trey, was diagnosed with pediatric cancer. I mean, you don't anticipate that ever, you?
Speaker 2:didn't schedule it?
Speaker 3:No, and it was on Christmas Eve, so everybody was at home doing their own Christmas, and so I think I messaged you maybe that Saturday, because that was a Friday. So I messaged you Saturday like, hey, I'm out for the foreseeable future. This is what we're dealing with. And we had to go to the hospital on Sunday to check in and Monday he had to have a bunch of procedures done to prep for chemo and we're sitting in the waiting room and wait go ahead well, we're sitting in the waiting room waiting as he's in surgery getting some stuff done and in walks Mike, and was it Chris?
Speaker 3:yeah, with a laptop, because we didn't have a laptop computer and like to be able to be in the hospital and show DVDs and stuff. And we were like, and that's just, and that was like the community, like we were never. And you said immediately you know, whenever you can stop in, you know, don't let us know like just come in for a class, right, check in whatever. And it was like and that was over a span of four years that he went through treatments and, um, he passed away in 2014 and again, the whole crossfit community was there for the you know viewing and the funeral and it wasn't murph, but you also did that one day yeah um
Speaker 1:right right which didn't didn't hope for a cure, stem from fight gone bad it was.
Speaker 2:It was a fight, was a Fight Gone Bad, but you did like Fight Gone Real Bad Because you did 25 rounds or whatever it was.
Speaker 1:Well, let me back up a notch. I know he was like I'd really rather not dude.
Speaker 3:He was like first cancer, now this Right, we were eating oranges with the peel still on, and he was like I don't know.
Speaker 1:Well, listen, I do have to back up a notch because this is one of the most embarrassing stories, but I will share this. So I remember when the subject of the laptop came up. So, as a community, like any other tribe, you draw all right, throw out the net, like what do we got? And we had a lot of feedback in the immediate moment and I know that it was all in good intention. But, like one of them, you know a dear friend of ours, he's some high caliber dude with IBM and he was like hey, he's like I got a few laptops at home. They're old work computers. Let me scrub them up, sanitize them. Yada, yada, yada. I'm like I do tick, tick. You know no disrespect. But before I could even react, crisp direct messages me. He goes. Hey, he goes. I got a best buy card that I get reward points on. He's like let's go right, let's go now. I'm like whose car are we taking, right? So he and I go, we go out to Best Buy. We pick a perfect. Like hey, this is good for DVDs and the yada yada, yada. We still have it.
Speaker 1:By the way, we're like two little kids. We're all geeked out right, I drove, which is even more the embarrassment. We jump back in my car, we drive right, we park in Oaklandland, okay, we get out of the car and I because that's my old stomping ground central catholic university of pittsburgh we're walking. He's got this shopping bag and it's. It's cool, it's cold, right, it's like a brisk day and we're like, the energy levels are high, positive energy.
Speaker 1:We literally get to the spot on fifth avenue and there's a chain link fence all the way across and there's a hole in the ground. There's no hospital. It looked like what I would, what I've seen elsewhere, like a jay dam, hit it and there's just a hole, a crater left. I'm like, and I actually looked at him and I go where's the hospital? He goes, he looks at me, he looks at me and he just goes. Then all of a sudden, I don't know why, but like it was like God like flicked my ear at that moment and I'm like, oh my God, it's in Bloomfield, it's the old St Francis Hospital. I'm like we're not telling anybody about this.
Speaker 1:And he's like okay, okay you know, now we're telling you know whoever listens, but so we, yeah, so we got to, got to the hospital, so that was uh, that's embarrassing I think too, like more to that point, not specific about the computer, but I feel like that's what our community, that's where we've been lucky all of these years.
Speaker 5:Because I remember when you guys put out a post about how Trey was loving the train tables at the hospital and I talked to Mike and I said, you know, my dad wanting a grandson so badly bought this train table before we even had Michael and it just kind of sat there waiting for a boy.
Speaker 5:So then we finally have Michael and my dad passed the same year and so you know, so it was always special to us. We had it in his room the minute he came home from the hospital after he was born. But when you put that out I thought you know Michael's growing out of that train table, and as special as it is to us, it's even more special to me to be able to give it to someone who really wants this and it's something that made him so happy at the time. So we were so happy to be able to do that, you know, or like the spaghetti dinner, or you know, and and I feel like and it's not just us, it's our entire community Like the minute there's a need, there's, and it doesn't all have to be bad. You know, if it's something exciting, it's something to celebrate. Everyone comes out, we have weddings.
Speaker 3:Yes, exactly.
Speaker 2:But I think that goes back to the point you're making not making, but the focus is the community. Right, you know you'd only been around two years when Trey was diagnosed. Now that's not five minutes, right, but because of the focus on the heroes and the hero challenge. Like you, don't shy away from the fact that life is messy. Right.
Speaker 2:And that we don't gloss over it. If you throw up with somebody, you're gonna go and you're gonna cry with somebody and you're gonna celebrate with somebody, and it's very real. You can't hide it cross-footed, and you can't be fake. You might try, and so we know what real is. You know what real is is, I should say, and so when there's a need arises, you step up because, well, that's what you do, right yeah, and I remember what else we did around the holidays.
Speaker 1:We had the. We used to do the gingerbread house.
Speaker 3:Yes, I've never seen you eat so much candy before or since.
Speaker 1:Every time. Every time I think of that, I can't. I literally, if I'm alone, I laugh out loud. There was a point I don't remember how many kids were all. They're all set up in the dining room, I think, and the way the house is set up, like you could go out of the dining room through the hallway around the front to the entry to the living room and then back around, and at one point I guess the houses were mostly done and decorated.
Speaker 1:Now we're just kicked back having fun and trey comes through. He comes around and we had all those like little chinese food containers with all the glitter and whatever. So he comes around and he grabs a handful of like whatever colored sugar or whatever, and as he runs he goes and I don't know one of you like we talk about how we can still hear that laugh, yeah, and like I think you were like trey and I. That was one of that, probably the only time in recorded history. I was like are you kidding me? I'm like do it again, man, I have you could do whatever you want. That was just so. He like so much fun in that moment, you know I, I, oh, my god, glitter and I'm like ah, you know, yeah, so some of that glitter still in your living room in my hair.
Speaker 1:In my hair hey, listen, who doesn't? That's, that's all I'm saying. I remember. I remember those. I remember vaguely, it's like in the dim. I think I was an ensign at the time but it's crazy.
Speaker 2:You think of you that first day and then all of a sudden, you become a coach yes and like the elevation within your CrossFit program that was in.
Speaker 3:I came back officially and again, throughout those four years I would stop in and be like you know, attempt to work out or just make sure I can still like jump and reach the bar, whatever. In February of 2015 came back like kind of stuck my head in, like can I come in? And you're like, come on, um. And then in March the opportunity came up to take the certification course and I was like crying again because I couldn't do anything. They were asking because, you know you got to retrain but, um, you know it was a good opportunity. It was because I wasn't working at the time, right now, without having that kind of schedule, and I was kind of at home because the kids were back in school and kind of at home doing nothing, right, you know.
Speaker 5:And like, well, I gotta do something, right, because from our perspective during that time, because I remember you had just started coming back and so I went home and told Mike I was like here's my intention I'd like to ask Rachel, because I just feel like maybe the, the redirection or a new focus will help. Because, to be honest with you, I was so afraid at that moment if you were going to be able to stay consistent and I was worried because I thought, well, is this going to help or is it going to be too much memory, like who knows? Like you just don't know how you're going to react. You know you watch a scary movie. Why would they run that way? Well, you don't know. Until you're in that situation, no one knows.
Speaker 5:And you know, and I'm sure, like I know, you and I, jay, you and I have had this conversation before where no one ever knows the right thing to say or the right thing to do, and there's so many missed opportunities to not just put it out there. Like we're always, I'm always so overly cautious. But I said to Mike, I said I want to ask Rachel she'd consider, like I think we should put her through, and so I remember talking to you about it and so glad when you said yes, and it is. It was, I'm sure it was stressful, because it's not easy, it is vigorous and you know which is good.
Speaker 5:You want your coaches to be well-trained, right, right, right, to be on the other side. But to throw that at you at the last minute like that. I was just so grateful, though, that you agreed to it, because from there you know, especially like I always think back to your 1230 classes.
Speaker 3:Yes, I was just going to say that. And how you're so adored. Yes, and still to this day. We were small but mighty, and it was, yeah, I loved the 1230 class.
Speaker 2:And that was sort of my, that was my class right other coaches weren't available and you know but I think from you know I've been in ministry for a very long time and I study emotional needs and all that stuff. But I just led a 13 week session of grief share, which is a national, maybe international, program to help people recover from loss, and it was it's weird, because I'm not a facilitator, I'm a teacher, I'm a preacher, I'm a coach.
Speaker 2:I don't facilitate somebody else's program, but I was able to do it, and the one thing that really stuck with me was when somebody is stuck in grief, whether it be in the first two weeks or three years, one of the best things you can give them is traction, just a little bit of traction to to start the new life without their lost loved one, and I think, whether it be intentional or not, that was a great bit of traction for you that okay, this has happened, this is what it is, but now I can.
Speaker 2:I can move forward in this area and it was a brilliant move, which I'm glad, and it worked out, but whenever, I'll never forget when you were offered that full-time teaching position.
Speaker 3:See I cried again oh. I feel like I've cried with you more, and I'm not a crier I don't cry easily and I've cried.
Speaker 5:I can't list the times you have cried so but at that moment I remember thinking as long as you're not leaving, like I was, I think. In my mind I was like that's it, she's leaving, like this is it we're saying goodbye. And that's what was running through my brain. And then I thought well, wait a minute. Okay, you're just getting a job, that's okay, that's all right. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3:It's working. I've done the 4.30 class because that's perfect timing, because my school is right there and I'm done at 3.30 and come here at 4.30. You know it makes for a long day, but oh, and then we didn't even touch on the whole pandemic time of being shut down and working out from home. Yes, oh, yeah.
Speaker 2:Which was great, that was so generous Again.
Speaker 3:Going back to community, you guys were like, hey, we have to be closed, but if you want to borrow equipment, come get it. Take a picture of it, let us know. We'll do Zoom workouts which were harder than in person. I'm just going to say yes, yes, With Jen, like Zooming in.
Speaker 5:I did, but didn't you feel? Right. I was like you know, okay, let's get done with this workout, let's all just sit for a second, check out each other's animals, kids, what's going on? Right, because it was just such a nice break from your day-to-day grind of staring at the same walls.
Speaker 3:And then trying to get back into in-person, for sure, those obstacles, for sure it was a crazy time and whatever, but we've made it through and right, yeah, yeah, thank goodness.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so would you tell me us, our listeners, about your book?
Speaker 2:well, so I started. The first idea was shortly after trey died. I wanted to compile a basically copy and pasting all of our Pray for Trey Facebook messages, because it was so impactful, it helped us so much, and so for two or three years I would cut and paste. And you know, with Facebook you can't type in December 24, 2010. You have to hit older entries older entries.
Speaker 2:At times, it would take me 45 minutes to get back to a date to copy and paste. So I did that for a few years and it ended up being 1100 pages long and I realized well, that's not a book, you can't do that. So in 2021, I started writing this book. Do you even know why? Like I don't even remember what made me do it. No, no.
Speaker 1:Thanks.
Speaker 2:It would be in the winter when I couldn't work on the disc golf course and I had some downtime. But I was always burdened by two things after Trey died. One was that we stayed faithful during all the Trey days so that we could show that your faith in God is not contingent upon his performance for you. And so we wanted to give God the glory and, given the eulogy at his funeral, I did that. But everybody says we're the greatest, oh, we're great, we're great, we're great. So they give us the glory, not God the glory, and I never wanted that. I wanted God to get the glory, so that was taken from me. And number two, to those who are in their battle if somebody is diagnosed their child is diagnosed with a life-threatening disease, and they say somebody says, oh, you should talk to jay and rachel mitlow, oh, they could help you. They always ask well, how did it end for them? And they go well, their son passed away in 2014.
Speaker 2:Nobody ever calls I always say to those who are in their, in their battle, we are the face of death. So I thought I just got to be a way I can use all this experience and the wisdom that sounds a little bit arrogant that god blessed me with through this time, so that our kids could survive even if trade didn't, and our marriage could survive when most don't. That's right right. So I started writing it and it's half our story, each chapter and then a for you, because you're not us, you don't have the resources, you may not be a member of CrossFit and have this community coming alongside you, but it's helping any parent because there's a book what to expect when you're expecting.
Speaker 2:Right, there's a book what to expect in your first year?
Speaker 5:there's no book that I to Expect when You're.
Speaker 2:Expecting. There's a book what to Expect in your First Year. There's no book that I know of what to Do when your Child Gets a Life-Threatening Diagnosis, and so I hired a company to help me put it together, and my content editor suggested a third section of every chapter, which is, if it's straight out, it's our story how to stand for the parents, because the book's called Stand story, how to stand for the parents, because the book's called stand, so how to stand, but then how to help them stand.
Speaker 2:you know, when you said you guys got together and or even, like you said, I don't want to barge in and ask her to be a coach right away, I don't know, and so very often we don't do anything right well the other fault people have is they think they know how to help and they barge in and they think they're the experts.
Speaker 2:And in my line of work, as far as being a Christian, there's some of the worst. They're like oh, we know exactly what to do and they run roughshod over somebody who's suffering. So in my book I teach people here's how you come alongside somebody, here's what they need. You know, when somebody's angry at God, a Christian very often becomes God's PR. You, you know, rep, they don't need that. They need you to say, yeah, this sucks right now. And so you said how did it get started? That's how it got started and really what it is. And we talk about, like I said, crossfit. We talk about Joe's jujitsu coach and them and how important it was to have other people in your life. It's really the book's a lot about community Right, and what to do when you don't have it, and how blessed we were because we lived the life of community before Trey was even diagnosed.
Speaker 5:I have to say so, when I saw that you wrote the book, my immediate thought, if I'm being very honest, was I don't know if I want to read it. And I thought, to quote quote Rachel, I know how it ends, like you know. So there was that moment. I thought, oh, I don't know. Your videos have been amazing. Because then, when I heard what you just said now too, about how it helps people, people on the outside, helping people that are going through that, I thought then we all need to read it you know can skip the tray part.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I mean you really can, you can go right to the for you and the how to help.
Speaker 5:Right, because, you know, even right now, like I look at my sister who has a co-worker who has cancer, and I thought, you know, there's always going to be someone who's suffering some way. It doesn't always have to be cancer, but there's some kind of suffering happening and if we on the outside have some idea of how better to approach this, I'm all in, you know, cause I think that is the worst thing, you know, not knowing what to say, what is the right thing to say. You know, you know how I feel like, yes, I understand that giving glory to God for sure, 100%. But you two were amazing, and you were, and I know, you know we don't see the ins and outs, but the grace and how beautifully you carried yourself and dealt with it.
Speaker 5:Sitting through that eulogy, oh my gosh, just thinking there's no way I could never Look how amazing this man is going through this. So you don't give yourself enough credit. But I also understand where you're coming from. You know, thank goodness, you had your faith to, to hold on to and keep you strong. But you still owe yourself some credit on that too. Are you gonna say?
Speaker 3:something because you're leaning forward no, I just wanted to see her better.
Speaker 2:But in regards to the topic of comfort and help, I remember you guys coming into the hospital with a laptop. I don't remember what you said. I didn't remember Chris was there. I do now that you say that. But back to even the funeral. Two things impacted me in several ways, but two major ways. With all you know, with all due humility, whatever you were a blubbering mess and that meant the world to me like here's the toughest guy in the world, the toughest sob, broken for us, for our son, for our you know his little sister rachel. You know, whatever you are, to him there's no words for that, if he would have
Speaker 2:spoken, he would have ruined it, you know. But it was that. And then the other story. When you post the picture of your brothers and you say you know if I respect you in battle, I call you brother and I said yeah, but you called me brother and you said I know what you said because I know how much you value that. That meant the world to me, you know. And so back to your point. It doesn't have to be how to love somebody who has a child with a diagnosis. My, my content editor said to me Jay, the first two days I sat with your book. Now nothing has been edited yet she's doing it, she goes, I just sat and cried and I thought, oh yeah, our story.
Speaker 2:you know it's pretty impactful. She knows a family that had a daughter that just lost their life to a seizure disorder and she was their teacher. And she said I thought I knew the family pretty well but, to be very honest with you, I had observed them, watched how they did things and I judged a lot of what they did. But having read your book, it gave me insight as to what they were really going through and I felt ashamed of some of the judgments I had made.
Speaker 2:And I was like, oh and again, most things I do successfully are mistakes, Like I do the right thing, but I think it's for this reason. And so here I am, like, oh, I'm going to help these parents, or you know, like if this book existed when Trey was diagnosed, we would not, I wouldn't have read it. I'd be like I'll figure it out on my own, I'm good. Thanks.
Speaker 2:Sure, but my sister Kathy and my sister Mary Lynn and Marcy they would have bought six copies of it underlined everything, right. So I think, oh, that's going to be the impact, but maybe it's going to be helping people help, because it's sadly again, some people just choose not to help, right?
Speaker 3:And sometimes the ones who do try to help yes, not the kind you need. It's easy to miss the mark. You think you're helping, right?
Speaker 2:yeah, my mike p, my nephew yesterday. He goes is there a chapter on on being funny? And I said actually there is, there's one that's okay to laugh, and I list all the different awkward things. He goes no, no, when you want to like lighten the mood, but yet you always do it at the wrong time. And I went. No, I can't teach that. Because that's all I ever do is say the wrong thing at the wrong time and it ends up.
Speaker 1:And I just want to interject this, because when you said, what are you to me?
Speaker 1:and you're like a thorn in his side, you know, what are you to me, you know, and you're like a thorn in his side. No, I'll tell you this. I will tell you this and I don't remember as much as I used to, I just don't, but I remember this vividly and these were like little, what would you call it? Like just what you need when you need it. Okay, and it was never like always on Tuesday, when our paths cross, whatever. But it was never like always on Tuesday when our paths cross, whatever. But it was.
Speaker 1:Washington Boulevard was a was a problematic location, I believe it. At that, it was a problematic location and we had some unruly neighbors who were, just in a word, just disrespectful. And every blessed time I would drive in there, I would, on my literally on my way, I would pray and I'd be like Lord, I feel good this morning. I really do. I'm going to thank you for that and, whatever happens, I'm going to handle this in a better way.
Speaker 1:And I failed every single time, and I'm not saying that to be funny or facetious. I failed every time and while I was doing it, it became like one of those things I think people describe as not not an out-of-body experience or anything, but I don't know what that is. But but like it was, like I was watching myself do it, and I'm like I might as well be sliding on ice right now, because I know what to do. And I'm like, yeah, but it's still going. It's like a runaway train and it was after an altercation and I give I say this again in all seriousness I never once, ever, started off, even when I was. You know. Look at this. Now I have to deal with this right now. I never started off with malicious intent, ever. I would always excuse me, excuse, sir, ma'am, excuse me always. And every single time it would take a turn instantly.
Speaker 1:And I remember talking to you about this, usually after it happened, while it was still fresh, and I'm like I don't get it. Rach, I'm like I don't get it. I'm like what am I missing? What's missing in here that I can't? And without a moment's hesitation, you looked right at me and you were like it's about respect with you. You looked right at me and you were like it's about respect with you. I was in the middle of a moment Wait his exact words were it's about respect with you.
Speaker 1:I know, no, here let's crank out a TikTok video. You kids, you screenagers, that was bad timing. But but, and and I thought what was so? Because you, you, you have a very um, I don't say bubbly, because I think that's insulting, but you do have a personality that's always like joyful, friendly welcome. Hey, so today, even like you're you're about to brief like a killer workout. So what we're gonna do today and it's gonna, it's gonna smash your testicles in a vice, but she would love that. But but I, but I think so, I'm used to that and I kid you, not in that moment the first time realized it and it was like this every time.
Speaker 1:After the first time, I'm like Rach, what am I doing? Like, what am I missing? All of a sudden, you were like and you just went with you. It's about respect. And when you realize that you're giving it and it's not coming back, she's like you, you know very politely, was like, and that's when it turns, yeah, and I'm like huh, I'm like well, okay, all right. Then I started to really kind of look at that, like, well, then I need to toughen up a little bit, because am I being thin-skinned, am I being overreactive? And and I do sometimes, I do attribute this and I think once in a while, if I hit it on the right lunar cycle and I ask my wife in the right tone of voice, I'm like I believe I am getting better and she's like you know a little bit, I will say yes, yeah, yes, because I've seen you handle situations where I think previously you would have been like there's the door and you've been like, okay, we can think about that.
Speaker 1:Or what like I can't think of a specific situation but there have been times where I was like, oh, mike didn't kill him, I don't get mad, no more. Just in the same sense. Well, yeah, but you know what? And I mean listen, and it's in the grand scheme of things, it's a small matter right, in the grand scheme of things it's as well. I'd rather have anger issues right than endure what you have Every day. I'd be the meanest, nastiest, most cantankerous person until the day I die If that were the case. We're all called to different things.
Speaker 2:You were in battles in your career that people I mean that are insurmountable. Well, we were in a battle, emotionally, that was going to be lost. So we don't choose it. We all have different ones and we're equipped differently to handle them. But I want to go back to your respect issue, because there's a phrase that I've come up with, which is if you're not aware of your emotions, you'll be manipulated by your feelings. So you're like I'm pissed off. Okay. Well, what's that code for?
Speaker 2:You took respect for me, me, and I highly value that. So, but if you're not thinking that, you're just in this moment, so it's like almost like combat there's a weakness you didn't know about. So now you're like oh wait a minute. When somebody takes respect from me, I lose a little control right, I'm not gonna let you do that anymore. You know, people are just angry or sad, or frustrated that was.
Speaker 1:I'm like it's still stuck in because it's recorded it's recorded, honey, thank you. Emotions are what if they're?
Speaker 2:met or not met. They either make you feel happy or positive or negative. There's variations of both, but people aren't aware of what their emotions are, and so the the gift you gave him was oh, it's respect.
Speaker 3:You know, it's respect and you're like they were disrespectful, well and I, but I was disrespectful to him back then but I will tell you this though right, first of all, taliban's trying to kill me.
Speaker 1:You know, isis is on deck, but uh, but I will say this though, in that moment, just when you, when you drop that on me, it was like huh, like it did lighten the.
Speaker 2:You know she saw through big mike petrogallo to a heart of a man who values something, and she's nothing if not sincere and I appreciated that I really did so.
Speaker 1:I value your counsel, you know, and, and I think too and this is a big thing that I I put a lot of, I think I think you and I both do back there. I, I think I think we both do is I don't, and social media is probably the worst for this, because it enhances these, these uh occurrences, or whatever you want to call them. I don't need a cheerleader, right, especially when, especially when, I'm doing something stupid, right, oh, I'm with you, mike, I'm with you. I'm like I wish you weren't Stop, you know, I mean, if life had a like button, disconnect that right, because there are times when I would, you know, pop off through, you know knee jerk reaction, and that's another thing that I appreciated was when you know you were like, well, well, you know, is that really? And, and you know, I, I think too, and my, my beautiful wife tries that, but with a little bit more of a, maybe a more harsh approach there's more history and more entrapments from that being perceived, whereas you got no history here.
Speaker 2:It's just her saying whatever. It's harder to do that.
Speaker 1:That's why relationships get so messy Messy, it's true, but I love you. We're a beautiful mess, you and I, right. Not many people know this, and I'm going to say this because the first time Jen dropped this on me I was like, oh my God, that's actually funny. Jennifer is convinced because we're big Sarah McLachlan fans from way back during our courtship and whatnot. Sadly, I've seen her live. So did we. So did we? We had like the most. Anyway, jen, if you were a couple, I was just a guy.
Speaker 1:Listen, I'm going to say this. That's a different podcast. I'm going to say this, though If I was single, I'd be Mr Sarah McLachlan. Really, oh my God, are you kidding? I don't even mind that she's from Canada, oh well.
Speaker 2:She turns the piano band sideways.
Speaker 1:Listen. So, jen, I think maybe still convinced that I am in fact the beautiful fucked up man that she refers to in Building a Mystery. That was one of your vows, wasn't it Jen? Yeah, we wrote that right in there. Oh, sarah, sarah, sarah, trying to do the best we can.
Speaker 1:But I think too, though, that's the thing where there is that balance, where you're like, you know, a friend's going to tell you when you're headed down the wrong road, stop you from going too far down that road. And you know, again, I kid around with you a lot, but I swear Jen is like I'll put something out and we'll watch the comments, and that's one thing I do. I mean this from the bottom of my heart. I was the last man like Charlton Heston in the Omega man I'm not even giving credit, I am, and you know why, because I'm making a stand right here.
Speaker 1:When a movie was a movie, charlton Heston would never leave his seat, go up on stage and slap somebody at an award show. Then they remake that movie with that little Will Smith, with Charlton Heston would never leave his seat, go up on stage and slap somebody at an award show. Okay, then they remake that movie with that little Will Smith with the big ears. No bullshit, chris Rock, if that was the Rock, do you think he would have done the same thing? I'll leave it at that, that's all. I'll leave it at that. He'd be in on the script, he'd be in something, he'd be in traction, I would still post. I would, because I don't do it for a reaction.
Speaker 1:I do not do it for a reaction, but I think that's one of the things, too, that Jen has kind of been more keen on than I am. She was like all right, watch what kind of feedback you get and be mindful of that. Like, is that really what you want to be? Include me, man, that's not, that is not what I intend. So clean, delete. I mean I'll delete the whole post rather than take someone's. Yeah, we're with you.
Speaker 1:I'm like I don't care you with me or not, I'm not even sure what that happens. So good, but you know, but I've always appreciated that you know, even when it's like you know you don't, you and you don't ever approaching a bear oh come on all right, but I do no, you.
Speaker 5:There's not a thing that'll listen to you, because you've earned the right to be heard that's the difference earning the right to be heard, because there's very few people that can do that for Mike or in any cases, and I think that you have to have earned that position to have that approach, because if anyone else tried that, Because he respects her opinion. Right, exactly, exactly. No one else could get away with it. We should be friends.
Speaker 1:You want to play mermaids For the last 15 years, right? You know, in this last Memorial Day, for example, one of my oldest, dearest friends, alan Phillips, and his wife came up for Memorial Day weekend, you know, and it was just so. I don't know Like I it's not, like it's a spritzer, I'm not saying like oh, it's refreshing, I don't mean it like that, but it he is one of those souls that when I'm in his I just kind of go. Hmm, you know, and I said to jen, I was like they're not a lot of people that put me at ease like that. You know, you do, both of you do. But, and I said to jen, she was like you know, watching those he and I interacted, his wife she's, she's just wonderful.
Speaker 1:and jen was like I don't remember exactly how you said it, but it was something to the effect like watching your, your whole personality, when he's around and, very, very matter of fact, I was, like you know, one of the only guys ever that's been able to kind of keep me between the lines, you know.
Speaker 1:And and mark mark was another one you know, he was just kind of like, although he had alan has, like you know that like southern charm way to deliver it, where mark was, uh, a jersey boy, you know. So he was just kind of oh, here we go, you know, but no, and I think those are the things, if you get to a point in your life, my father always used to tell me when I was a kid oh, you know, my friend, this my friend, and that's the way you raise kids, like everybody, all your classmates, everybody on your baseball team, you're all friends, friends.
Speaker 1:But I guess, as a little bit I got older and you keep referring oh, my friend joe, or my friend tim and my friend and at one point I don't remember how it came up, but it was like I guess one of those life lessons and my dad was like champ, listen to me, he's like you get to be an adult. He's like, if you can count your number like our friends, on one hand you're a very fortunate man, you know, and I and I've held on to that, I really have. I was like you know what? That is kind of kind of cool, because otherwise it may be just acquaintances or people who've crossed your path, you know. But uh, friendship is something to you know to value and you certainly you know, but friendship is something to you know to value and you certainly you know you're dear friends of ours. I mean, that's it's been, it's been a great journey, I think would be the best way to say it.
Speaker 2:It's a great beginning to a journey.
Speaker 1:Right, right, awesome. So anything else? I mean I can't wait. When's the? So what? What stage is the book in now?
Speaker 2:So it's the proofreading part which is the book in now. So it's the proofreading part which is the third stage of editing.
Speaker 2:So I would say probably about a month we'll be able to launch it all right, all right, we're gonna have some events and and we really want like one of the ideas is we went with, at least as of now. I have a big, big meeting tomorrow with a guy but I want to self-publish it because for a couple reasons it's my book, then if the publisher gets it, they can change it, they can do it.
Speaker 2:How of reasons it's my book, then If a publisher gets it, they can change it, they can do whatever they want and it's not like I want it in bookstores per se, like who's going like, oh, maybe someday my child will have a life-threatening diagnosis. I should buy this book, but I really want to market it through our network all across and have people buy them and give them to hospitals.
Speaker 1:Buy them and give them to service organizations, so organizations so, unless something changes with that whole process, it'll be a little over a month or so. No, I mean, I, I get that, I appreciate that perspective and I don't know anything about sure, you know I know very little. I don't know anything about fancy you know, right, right, but uh, when, when you said, like you know, to sell it in a bookstore, you know, I, I don't, I disagree.
Speaker 1:I think that would be something that I hate to say this but I think everybody knows somebody either, if it's not by first degree by. I know a co-worker who has a niece who's going through, so I think from.
Speaker 2:But I do like your approach is, I'm not going to say no, right, right, no, but I, I do, yeah, exactly, exactly and I'm meeting with a guy tomorrow, it doesn't matter, but a guy's sort of a big wig and somebody said, would it be okay if I set you guys up to talk? And I was like yeah, you know 30 years experience helping christian authors. Yes, I would like to speak with him yeah, so we'll see where it goes, but we're looking about a month, oh fantastic well I you know like jennifer said, and I think this is one of those like, uh, like an oxymoron, I can't wait.
Speaker 1:And yet I don't know if I can read it right yes, well you know I have not read it like.
Speaker 2:Well, again, start at the for you section well that I love that perspective. I, I really do that's kind of, you know, that's kind of uh and I had to realize that, like when I got my first edits back and you know it's in a word document, whatever else, and I just looked at all the red on the paper, so I took a picture of it, snap you know, screenshot, send it to my three sisters, and I was like, oh, that's a whole lot of ink and I didn't realize.
Speaker 2:They're gonna read the words behind it. And it was, or it was like when he was diagnosed. It wasn't even like a tragic moment. And they're all sending me back texts of tears and crying face emojis and I don't know if I can go through this. And I was like, oh, I've been sitting with this book for three years. I realize how raw it is for a lot of people, you know, and so it's like, oh, that's gonna be weird oh, I love it.
Speaker 1:But yeah, I mean honest to goodness, in this last hour. I mean, what a, what a? I forgot about the because that was that was the year, I swear to God. It was like it had been Fight Gone Bad and then they changed the name and that was the first year, crossfit for Hope. It went from Fight Gone Bad to CrossFit for Hope and I do remember that, like it was yesterday, we did, we did and I it was a. Like it was yesterday, we did, we did and I. It wasn't no, no, no, it wasn't, it was crossfit, it was crossfit for hope.
Speaker 1:They changed the movements and that was one of the things, and you know what I, I I can say this now because it's nothing you know to keep a secret but I guess my thing with that was always I, I, when it was fight gone bad at the benefit of the Wounded Warrior Project, and I don't remember what year I started, we, the first couple times we did it, we did it the way it was, a three rounds, you know, boom with a partner and so forth, and what possessed me, I think for me it was one of those like well, I can't, I can't change places with you, you know I can't, I can't change places with you. You know I can't put myself in your shoes, but what I can do is I can hurt, you know. And I remember it came to me. I was like, okay, we're taking online donations and I put it out all over social media and I was like anyone who's ever served with me, whether in the Navy or at the agency, ever. I'm like we're doing this for this cause. And I said for every 100 donation I get, I will add one round to fight gone bad. And I said, now, that's not a hundred dollars donated, it's every single 100 donation. So I think the first year I remember and of course, jen was like, oh my God, you are so stupid, like why, why would you do that? And I was like I was like listen, I'm not, I'm not. I did think this through and my thing is do you think, after the first three rounds, that I'm going to still try to? I'm not going to get those numbers every round, all I have to do is just get up every minute after every rest. I just got to get up and go again. That's all I have to do. And I can't believe you remembered that.
Speaker 1:The oranges with the skin on. Yes, I was, so I would, because we had like bags of orange slices and water. I was so hungry by that time I was like these oranges are not getting it done, right, dehydrated. Yeah, yeah, I'm like the oranges itself is not getting it done, because it's basically like flavored water, you know. So I would. I would eat the, the rind and all that. I just get something in my stomach here because this is getting ugly, but I do, and they. It was our friend dave d'alessandro, I think the first time I went into the big numbers. I was probably at like 12 rounds or something and I was like, okay, great. And then in the 11th hour he makes a $1,000 donation and I'm like I don't know if I love you or or I want to run you over with a truck two things can be true at the same time.
Speaker 1:Right, right, uh, but yeah, so that's what started, that and um wait, I want to real quick.
Speaker 2:you said something that made me think you said I I didn't have to complete it, I just had to keep starting.
Speaker 2:I just had to get to the next round, and the title of the book is called Stand, which is based on the Bible instructions of the full armor of God. There's the belt of truth, the sword of the spirit, all that stuff. But at the very end it says do all these things so that when the day of the enemy comes, or the day of evil comes, you can stand. And that got me through it, because it was like oh, I don't have to conquer.
Speaker 2:I don't even have to advance, I just. I just have to not crumble right, and so your story was like I just got to get to the next round yeah, I just have to answer the bell every time. That's all I gotta do a bunch of people that I'll. They'll just text me hashtag stand. This is long before the book and.
Speaker 2:And they know that that means, hey, I'm in the war right now and I need somebody to stand next to me Because I just don't want to crumble. Failure is the only thing I can't do today. Everything else is a win.
Speaker 4:Where's a picture of you doing that I was trying to find it.
Speaker 1:I'm not just being rude. No, no, please Listen. I'm not shy about pictures of myself, unless they make me look portly. Yeah, I love that picture. There's one.
Speaker 3:I'd have to find the photo album on Facebook, but it's from behind and I think you were trying to give Trey a high five.
Speaker 1:I have my hand out. I have my hand out. Yeah, he's like, I'd really rather not. He's like where's my friend Jen.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, how about we do? To not you know he's like where's my friend jen? Oh my god, how about we do that was, and then, to be fair, he also snubbed sydney crosby, like we're in the locker room, and I said right next to him, do you want to meet sydney? And he goes no then I I then I don't feel bad.
Speaker 1:I'm good for him. Good for him. But listen, not not many people know this too, but when, when it became crossfit for hope that year, we did it at the fire academy because we had some dear friends who were, you know, instructors at the academy, firefighters they allowed us to use that, uh, that pt area that they set up in the grass, the grassy knoll, if you will. We had a banner crossfit for hope banner. It's still in our archives somewhere.
Speaker 1:And, um, somebody was like, hey, why don't you go up and hang it from the windows in the fire tower? You know the training house? I was like, yeah, yeah, good idea. So I got like a length of cord, like, as they're setting everything up, get a length of cord pocket knife and I go up and I tied it around one window. And then I went around to the other side, like through the line around, and as I'm reaching out to pull it up, I almost fell out the damn window. I wasn't paying nearly enough attention that like, or the window's lower it would have changed I don't think listen.
Speaker 1:I'm going to say I'm not sure I would have gotten all my rounds If you would have fallen out the window had I taken that, had I taken that. But I believe in you being crossfitters. Being crossfitters, I'd have probably nailed that landing, gotten yelled at by my wife. I would have. I'd have done a, I'd have done a thor landing for sure right hey, I'm saying I use crossfit movements at work all day, every day.
Speaker 3:turkish get-ups with toddlers, that's what I do.
Speaker 2:You literally do, though.
Speaker 3:I don't hold them up above my head you should. When they're sleeping in my arms on the floor, I can get up to standing. What about when?
Speaker 2:they're actively pooping or throwing up. You keep them far away from your body.
Speaker 3:Yes, I can go like that.
Speaker 1:At arm's length.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no it's functional.
Speaker 2:It's bringing it all back to functional, functional fitness, and you're going to carry me through the airport when we go to St Lucia next week.
Speaker 1:Yes, just like that, grandmother carried her grandson Nice, that would be special. I like it. That would be nice, I like it. That should be a. What's the new thing that all the kids are using now? Tick space or something, snapchat, snapchat. I don't either. Do you snap? I'm like go away.
Speaker 2:You try to survive. You're like I wish we could. Yeah, I had Snapchat for like six hours.
Speaker 1:Right. So now I will say this, though I will say this this is invasive maybe, but I don't care. Yeah, I lost it. Jen and the kids are on Snapchat, so they do their like what do you call it A streak? Yeah, so they said I'm just, I'm not invited, I'm invited, I'm just irresponsible, so I'd ruin the streak. But what is funny is Jen would be like okay, where's our boy? Like she's checking. Oh, he's at the frat house, oh, he's up at his dorm, you know, or wherever which.
Speaker 5:I think is pretty cool. So Well, I found the pictures of that day, but I don't have the one of my going over to.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I can't find the photo album. I don't know how to do it.
Speaker 5:I don't know why I don't have that one? Because I have the picture of your kids over playing under the pull-up bars. Yeah, even Zach is there. Oh, wow, wow.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we've had some crazy experiences, right.
Speaker 2:A living life. That's all it's community.
Speaker 1:Yeah that's for sure, ups downs and sideways, and you know I'm never, ever you will never hear. I mean reality TV. I'm not sure that reality TV is not a big part of the decline of our society. I'm really not sure that it's not Sure, you know, and. But then I look at it and I go. But you know, what's really kind of pathetic though is like look at the nature of the reality shows, like there are what values? There are none, you know, maybe what we need is a reality show of like and I think nailed it, oh my gosh, yes, yeah, look at it. He, the look on him. He's like get away, please acknowledge my presence.
Speaker 2:He's like orange skin eater get away.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a great picture. He's a babe. That's a great picture, thank you.
Speaker 2:Thank you, but yeah, that's not even the one I was thinking of. You smell weird.
Speaker 1:I can only imagine. I can only imagine. But you know what, though? I think what was great about those those uh, well, not those times, cause we're still, we're just in the 2.0 or 3.0 version of it. You know, like you said, it doesn't have to be anything bad. The way the community rallies, you know, uh, and we take on. You know, like like Murph, for example. You know, uh, and we take on. You know, like like Murph, for example. You know that's a big deal to the CrossFit community and I think every year it's just, it's one of those things that you go, you know, and and I do, I do think this, and maybe it's all part of the process, I would.
Speaker 1:I would think last October was the 20th anniversary of my losing my teammates in Gaza, right, and I think it was the first year that I was really aware that I kind of maybe turned that corner where I was now celebrating that they lived. You know, because before that, I mean it was, it was dark, and I remember thinking I was like you know, it's carrying this for 18, 19 years. Is is a, is is heavy, you know, but I think that's the, that's the thing, you know. This this last year was like, and I don't, I don't. And then then, ironically, right, I wanted to.
Speaker 1:I wanted to launch the first episode of the podcast on October 15th to tell their story, and of course, you know, october 7th happens, you know, like unprecedented, unheard of. And I'm happens, unprecedented, unheard of. And that really kind of rocked me a bit because I'm like, okay, here we go, same group, same bad guys, only now they are essentially like, they have become ISIS. They're no longer like a secondary group working, working in the, in the, in the shadows. You know, um, and the audacity of, of, of an action like that on civilians again, I think that's the part that gets me the most is, you know what pick a military target. We could still be enemies and you still will lose, but pick a military target, but you're not, because you're not soldiers, you're not warriors, you're not even men. You know that's the most cowardly, dastardly act to target elderly, women, children, I, you know, but I get off the point, but, um, I right but I do remember.
Speaker 1:I really wanted that to be the launch I came down with. I'm going to call it the flu. Jen decides she's going to get because you know what she always got to do a little bit better, a little bit faster than me, right? So jen goes and gets covid. Then her grandmother decides she's going to join in on the action and she does a swan dive on our patio. Yeah, walker goes one way, she goes the other way, lands on her face.
Speaker 1:It's crazy crazy but yeah, so that kind of put us off a little bit. But I digress. But first a word from our sponsor Wrapping it up, Wrapping it up, Guys. Thank you so much. No, thank you. Thank you so much, Many levels. Thank you. This was great. This was great. I really appreciate you being here and sharing this with us.
Speaker 5:I'm glad you stayed, jim. Yeah, you and your shoe you and your shoe.
Speaker 1:We haven't seen the shoe for a minute, but, noble, you're about to see it up your ass, right, all right, thank you everyone. Thank you, guys, that's all, thank you.
