The Real Housewives of Sydney - S03E01 (w/ Lorelei Camboni)

Our Sydney girlies are back and so is Lorelei Camboni to chat about it with Sam this week. Is Martine a robot? Will Kate and Caroline bury the hatchet, and is the Just For Fun a seaworthy vessel? These questions and more answered. Oh and Lorelei gets stalked and hunted by a Jackie Gillies bot. The girlies also talk The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and The Milkshake Man by Go-Jo, Australia’s Eurovision entry for 2025. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

This podcast was produced on the land of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin Nation. Welcome to Australia! Someone who is such a connoisseur of reality television. The content is hideous. Hello.

SPEAKER_03 0:20

Hello, hello.

SPEAKER_01 0:21

Laura Lacambon.

SPEAKER_03 0:23

Ciao. Buonaceta.

SPEAKER_01 0:27

Welcome back to the cringy's real doll. It's been a little while.

SPEAKER_03 0:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

No, like longer. Longer? Because you were here. When was the last time you were here? Sydney. Yeah, Sydney, but like last season, which was late 2023. Oh my god. Can you believe it?

SPEAKER_03 0:44

No, I can't.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

And yeah, and they've done me dirty this year and they've put it on at the same time as every other show.

SPEAKER_03 0:51

I'm getting

Millenial Reality Fatigue

SPEAKER_03 0:52

reality fatigue a little bit. Like, you know, I love I'm a millennial. I love to whinge about drag race going on and on, and I'll still watch it. And then whatever 600 Real Housewives that I'm watching. Yeah. And then I'll torture myself and start watching Married to Medicine, Atlanta.

SPEAKER_01 1:09

Is that any good?

SPEAKER_03 1:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:11

I don't think I have bandwidth for that.

SPEAKER_03 1:14

You probably don't. I mean, I I w I like get through like half an episode and I'm like, blah, blah, blah. Uh, but Phaedra Parks is worth watching always.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

I love Phaedra. Me, too. Breakout star of the Traitors, season two.

SPEAKER_03 1:27

Admittedly, haven't watched the Traitors.

SPEAKER_02 1:30

Oh, you would love it.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

I'm sure it's like silly. It's background viewing. You know, you've got your foreground viewing and your background, like your scroll shows, or you're like doing laundry or whatever. It's a solid background show.

SPEAKER_03 1:41

I would say Married to Medicine falls in that category. As well as love and hip hop. Did you ever dabble? Oh, yeah. Yeah, okay. Are you like a loyal to a city in particular?

SPEAKER_01 1:51

No, no.

SPEAKER_03 1:52

Okay. I so I I only watched Atlanta. Now I've started watching Miami.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

Is Miami good? I've never seen Miami.

SPEAKER_03 1:59

Trina's on it. Trina's secretly married. Trina! Trina! Trina has this like really fun gay cousin who's on the show. Of course she does. And he's a rapper too. And he's just like filled to the brim. Ah, Black China's also enters. Oh, okay. I need to get involved. Trick Daddy's in it. Trick Daddy is really funny and old and wears a beanie constantly.

SPEAKER_01 2:22

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 2:24

Yeah, yeah. I I would say binge it. It's a

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is in the BG

SPEAKER_03 2:28

good one.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

Well, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills used to be full full foreground for me, but I'm not gonna lie, this season is slipping into the BJ.

SPEAKER_03 2:37

Slipping into the BJ.

SPEAKER_01 2:39

Like we did not need three episodes at Sutton's mum's house. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03 2:43

Just give it a rest. I don't want to see that racist old lady on my on my TV.

SPEAKER_01 2:47

Reba.

SPEAKER_03 2:48

Reba.

SPEAKER_01 2:48

She was fun for like a little bit. I know. Some people like came around. I've spoken to some people that are like, oh no, I loved Reba by the end. I was like, yeah, it was fun, but it felt filler.

SPEAKER_03 3:00

Stop trying to make Sutton relatable.

SPEAKER_01 3:04

Please.

SPEAKER_03 3:05

I can't stand Sutton.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

I can't believe she is still there.

SPEAKER_03 3:10

She is the epitome of someone with a whole lot of money and no style.

SPEAKER_01 3:15

Yeah. The definite you look that up and it's a picture of her.

SPEAKER_03 3:19

Ugh. And Garcel is like staring at paint drawings, sorry.

SPEAKER_01 3:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:25

Like, you know, I I'm I'm sure she's like a lovely person, but she's just like boring on the TV show.

SPEAKER_01 3:31

She is. She's she's stunning. But um her storyline consists of her beach house. Yes. And oh, I'm an executive producer of uh a daytime movie.

SPEAKER_03 3:45

Great.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

Black girl missing two.

SPEAKER_03 3:48

Black girl missing two.

SPEAKER_01 3:49

Um I wonder what happens in that movie.

SPEAKER_03 3:52

Oh my god, I roll.

SPEAKER_01 3:53

You have to tell me.

The Milkshake Man

SPEAKER_01 3:55

Um my god, huge news for Australian Eurovision fans today. They dropped the song. Uh have you seen it?

SPEAKER_03 4:05

I've saw snippets. The milkshake band. Oh look, you know, it's a bit fun.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

Look, so I've gone on a full 360 journey with this song just in today. Oh, it dropped this morning at like 5 a.m. And then the my first reaction when I saw him was, oh no. And then I read the word because on the press it was like TikTok star, and I was like, oh no. Yeah, what are we doing? And then I mean, look, he's gorgeous.

SPEAKER_03 4:33

Oh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:34

He's a very sexy boy.

SPEAKER_03 4:35

Appealing person, yes.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

I've done a bit more of a deep dive. Yeah, he's giving uh un inspired, unemployed energy, like lad, larrican lad energy, which I'm like a little bit hard for. Yeah, but do you know what I mean? Like he's an ex-footie player.

SPEAKER_03 4:53

He's gay, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:54

No. Oh boy, he's the no baby the straightest thing possible. There is nothing queer-coated about the milkshake man.

SPEAKER_03 5:03

Sorry, I just I don't know why. Maybe I like didn't watch this properly.

SPEAKER_01 5:08

No, no, no. It's dripping with like, oh, I'm a silly, I'm a silly straight boy in a in a crop top. Like it's what's his name? It's um what uh what's his fucking name? Watermelon sugar.

SPEAKER_03 5:21

Harry. Harry Styles.

SPEAKER_01 5:24

He's Harry Styles meets inspired unemployed. That's what he's but with an Aussie, I think W A. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:33

Yeah, so he's got like white perfect voice, huh?

SPEAKER_01 5:36

Private school energy. I think he might be Italiano in my mind.

SPEAKER_03 5:39

Yeah, look, I was picking that. That's probably where I got the gay from. Because you know, European gay. Sometimes the same. Oh, honey. I'm Italian, I'm allowed to say that.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

It's true. Yeah. It's very hard to cruise the streets of Italia. I'm sure.

SPEAKER_03 5:55

When I was there, like, I mean, it was a long time ago now, but went to the hit the beach clubs in Sardegna with my cousins, and they are all wearing the tightest, whitest pants and boat shoes. It's giving Luigi Mangirini in the courtroom loafers with no songs.

SPEAKER_01 6:15

Don't worry about Italian dog. Don't make me slip off this stool.

SPEAKER_03 6:19

Okay, well, that's what I needed to confirm that you're team Luigi.

SPEAKER_01 6:24

And um I'm team looking at Luigi.

SPEAKER_03 6:27

Team looking at Luigi. I mean, like, yeah. He's for the cause. He is. He's for my draws.

SPEAKER_01 6:35

Exactly. No, but I'm getting yeah, I'm getting straight lad energy from the milkshake ban. But look, I've come around. I now realize that we need this. Uh, because I think the other rumors were like they were gonna send Guy Sebastian again. Which I was like, no, we're not doing that.

SPEAKER_03 6:51

Do you remember when Guy Sebastian straightened his hair? That was in the early 2000s.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

Unfortunately, I do.

SPEAKER_03 7:00

That was like that's like a trauma memory.

SPEAKER_01 7:02

And he got away with that, and Paulini got roasted for wearing that hideous dress because sexism.

SPEAKER_03 7:09

I brought that up with my Gen Z co-worker last week, and she was just like, She's like, I'm watching Australian Adol with my dad on. Oh, because it's back.

SPEAKER_01 7:17

Let's but it's on like channel seven or something.

SPEAKER_03 7:20

Yeah. Carl Sanderlands doesn't need any. Kyle's on it. Yeah. He's like the new Dicko. And so that's how we got talking. I was like, he's the new Dicko. No, no. And she's like, who the fuck's Dicko? And I'm like, okay, he called Paulini fat, and she's like, who's Paulini? And I'm like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 7:37

Paulini?

SPEAKER_03 7:38

You were born in 2003.

SPEAKER_01 7:40

Did she know who the young Divas were at least?

SPEAKER_03 7:42

Well I did I did reference the young Divas. She was just like, I have no idea what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

This tiny dog. Yes, Frida, we see you. There's a tiny dog vying for our attention. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:55

Um we should uh send her audition tape for um Eurovision.

SPEAKER_01 8:02

For Frida Wenita Margarita. Yeah. She would say. Can you imagine?

SPEAKER_03 8:06

Oh, I can. I'll be a manager.

SPEAKER_01 8:09

Just me and her on the stage.

SPEAKER_03 8:14

Love it.

SPEAKER_01 8:15

Smuggler through customs. Shall we um talk about the reason for the

The Real Housewives of Sydney S03E01 Recap

SPEAKER_01 8:21

season? And the reason for the season, of course, is the real housewives of Sidonie, season three. Are you excited the girls are back?

SPEAKER_03 8:32

I am. Yeah. Very disappointed we didn't get Terry from the get-go this first episode, though.

SPEAKER_01 8:37

Look, the Biv carried season two. Let's just let's just get that out of the way first.

SPEAKER_03 8:42

The Biv, I love this nickname.

SPEAKER_01 8:44

She carried.

SPEAKER_03 8:45

Yeah, she did. And so I actually got a little bit worried watching this and I was like scrolling back to see the promos. I was like, please don't tell me the demoted her to friend of. Please don't tell me.

SPEAKER_01 8:56

Well, apparently it was touch and go there. I mean, look, I don't know or care for the ins and outs of casting, but apparently, yeah, it was a will will she won't she kind of sit.

SPEAKER_03 9:07

Right. Yeah. Well, I'm glad it was a will.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

I'm not gonna lie, like they started with the recap of last season, and I was a little bit like, oh fuck, is that all that happened? Like it not a whole lot happened.

SPEAKER_03 9:21

Not a whole lot happened, but I feel like that's kind of Sydney's vibe. Yes, not much happens, but we get lots and lots of good one.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

We get lots of good bits out of it. Well, because so season one is kind of on an island because it's like pretty much completely different cast, and it had some unhinged characters and unhinged moments, and we forever love it. I I'm glad they've put it back up on binge. Oh, they have it. We've seen them put it back on binge, but they've made sure that we know that it's unrelated by instead of seasons, they've done like the year that it came out. So it's like 2016. And then like context. Yeah, so you don't go, hang on. Right. What happened? Yeah. But I was a little bit like, oh, sh binge, just call it season one, like make people watch it.

SPEAKER_03 10:05

That's rude.

SPEAKER_01 10:06

Because I feel like calling it 2016, people are gonna be like, oh.

SPEAKER_03 10:09

I don't want to watch that's too off. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:11

So that feels mean. It's like when I tried to go back and watch OC from the start, and I was like, oh, it's 2009, I can't, but it pays off. That one is good.

SPEAKER_03 10:21

Okay, uh maybe I'll need it to be. Just start from like where they're at now.

SPEAKER_01 10:24

Like the like this season this year. Yep. Incredible. And you don't need to know too much about them. So yep, okay. Yeah. Um, so yeah, in the recap from last season, we get the porn star comment. We get moaning Lisa, uh, Victoria Montano and her fur. That's right. And of course, Terry being late in Japan, and that was pretty much it.

SPEAKER_02 10:48

Yeah. And I was like, Noelle leaving for uni.

SPEAKER_01 10:52

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Of course, the most exciting part of the show, Neve and Noelle sitting in first class uh leaving for uni. How devastating for poor Nicole.

SPEAKER_03 11:04

Poor Nicole. Uh she had to teach her child how to use the washing machine. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 11:09

She's coming for Carl Richards' uh level of misery, isn't she?

SPEAKER_03 11:14

Oh my god, she sh she really is. She's Carl Richards without the bootleg gene.

SPEAKER_01 11:20

For chemosabi.

SPEAKER_03 11:22

Oh, I can't stand anyone going to chemosabi.

SPEAKER_01 11:25

We should have a little moment to pray um and set our intentions for this season and just hope that there's some better drama. Yes. Yeah. Alright. Please uh binge god. Binge gods reality god. I almost said Andy Cohen, but he is not watching this show. Uh please bless us with lots of drama and fun bits to talk about.

SPEAKER_03 11:51

Please, and um I will put this out there again. Please, please do a f uh not a family reunion, uh a girls' trip with Melbourne and Cell combined.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

I think that's happening this season, but just with Shine Shine Shine. Yeah, yeah. Which look, I'll take it.

SPEAKER_03 12:08

No, no, I'll take it. I've been getting messages from a Jackie Gillies bot on um TikTok telling me my fortune. If not her. I commented on her Instagram and I said, Hey, Jackie, do you know that um you've got bots on TikTok messaging me my fortune? And she goes, Because yeah. She was very she was very sincere and lovely. She goes, I'm aware and just don't engage with them.

SPEAKER_01 12:39

You heard Jackie Gillies tell you to disengage with a bot. Wow.

SPEAKER_03 12:45

The same thing happened with a Kylie bot last week.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

You're just a bot magnet, but I'm just picturing Jackie Gillies' team in like an AI lab. Just like setting, like unleashing like a a terrorist bot upon like social media. That's heaven. The shine, shine, shine bot. Watch out, everyone. It's not safe out there. You've got to um cyber cyber security. It's very important. My advice would be don't engage. Don't engage. Yeah, don't read the comment section. Yep. Alright, taglines. Boom. Chrissy Marsh. Friends are like diamonds. Just watch out for the folks.

SPEAKER_03 13:26

Oh do you love Chrissy? I missed Chrissy's ridiculous remarks.

SPEAKER_01 13:34

Um, she's just had a I've just had a skinny bitch doll. She should have put skinny bitch in her tagline.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

I've already had a stiffy this morning. I'm not talking about a drink.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

That was my favourite line.

SPEAKER_02 13:47

It's just for fun.

SPEAKER_01 13:48

That the HMAS just for fun. Yes. Which makes its triumphant return this episode.

SPEAKER_02 13:53

Oh loves it.

SPEAKER_01 13:54

But yeah, I thought that tagline, yeah, Diamonds are like friends, just watch half a facts. Checks out. So is she a billionaire or not? What's going on?

SPEAKER_03 14:01

I can't talk about it, darn.

SPEAKER_01 14:02

I need the bank balance on screen.

SPEAKER_03 14:05

What does her husband do?

SPEAKER_01 14:07

I know, but it's so Aussie to be like, oh, we're not talking about that. Whereas like in Beverly Hills, they literally show the dollar sign amount like under the handbag.

SPEAKER_03 14:16

And if it's um Love and Hip Hop, Miami, it's a woman talking about how she just bought a two million dollar house like every two minutes until someone says to her, It's a real broke thing to just announce that you've spent two million dollars on a house.

SPEAKER_01 14:31

It is a bit. So maybe that's why Chrissy Marsh is going for two million dollar houses, but it's not me. Certainly. Um Victoria Montano's is my skirts may be short, but I'm not short of an opinion.

SPEAKER_03 14:48

Did you see she posted a poll today? And it went. She posted poll or she posted a poll. Oh, okay, good. Just checking. With like a picture of her, like her tagline thing, and and it said, Um Victoria, like time to like you're too old, stop wearing mini skirts, time for a midi. Or your legs look great. Wearing minis, like they were the options.

SPEAKER_01 15:11

It wasn't a skirt bot, was it?

SPEAKER_03 15:13

Oh a mini skirt bot?

SPEAKER_01 15:15

Just policing, policing Victoria's mini skirts. I love that she wears mini skirts.

SPEAKER_03 15:19

Yeah, me too.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

It's yeah, it's total throwbacks.

SPEAKER_03 15:23

I do not love that she keeps wearing those feather hair extensions though. We're talking about this in 2023, and it's not okay. Quite frankly, it's been two years.

SPEAKER_01 15:33

I just like that Victoria Montano is unapologetically herself, and she knows that that self is a little bit shit, and I actually think her tagline should have been what she says later on, which is Victoria Montano is always out of touch, often out of line, but never out of style. She says that later on, and I'm like, that's your tagline.

SPEAKER_03 16:02

Victoria switch that out.

SPEAKER_01 16:05

Always out of touch. I gasped.

SPEAKER_03 16:08

Yeah. Pretty iconic. So iconic. This is what I mean about Sydney. You get these like one-liners, and you're like, yeah, the drama's not drama ring, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

Well, she needed something about the best view. The best view in Sydney. Because, like, yeah, I think that's Martine was. Her and Martine.

unknown 16:24

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 16:24

That was my favourite saying, like the handbags. Can you can you see me through the balcony?

SPEAKER_03 16:29

How uh long do you spend staring at me from your balcony?

SPEAKER_01 16:33

I was absolutely disased. Martine is next. Martine Chippendale. Welcome to the cast. Um, my life is a fairy tale, but this princess does not need saving shit.

SPEAKER_03 16:48

No, terrible. Also, I didn't realise her surname was Chippendale.

SPEAKER_01 16:52

Yeah, how good.

SPEAKER_03 16:53

So good.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

To be a Sydney Sider with that surname is great. Pretty good. Yeah. Um how are you feeling about Martin? The newbie?

SPEAKER_03 17:03

Newbie. Um really pushing the I'm a weirdo point. Which I watch really strange things on YouTube. Like, why do BBLs stink?

SPEAKER_01 17:14

Oh yeah. And with the BBL, like I've heard you like you can't wipe your asshole.

SPEAKER_03 17:20

I'll admit that I also went on that YouTube um deep dive and more like a TikTok deep dive on why BBLs stink, and it wasn't because of that.

SPEAKER_01 17:30

It was because like people getting oozing. I love her. She's basically a vampire. She will not go near the sun. I love her, she loves horror. Um I think she looks like Megan, the killer doll.

SPEAKER_03 17:46

So I haven't seen that, but yes, I know. She looks like Megan.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

But cross with like Nicole Kidman. Yeah. How Nicole Kidman-y is she?

SPEAKER_03 17:53

She is very Nicole Kidman.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

She's got the same shade of like negative white. Like there's a whiteness, and then there's like whatever the fuck that shade is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:02

Yeah, totally. Yeah, she's giving that.

SPEAKER_01 18:04

Inside person.

SPEAKER_03 18:06

Inside person.

SPEAKER_02 18:07

With a questionable looking pug that. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 18:12

Er Ernie? Frankie? Ernie. Ernie the pug in the Pram. Breakout star of the show.

SPEAKER_03 18:18

Poor dog stung inside his mouth.

SPEAKER_01 18:21

I love it. That was very, very cute. Welcome, Martin. We love you so far. Uh Terry Biviano, she wasn't in the episode, but she was in the taglawns, and it was Sydney may be full of icons, but I'm still the main attraction. I like it. I like it. I like it.

SPEAKER_03 18:41

And I would say that is correct, because she's what I'm watching the show for.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

Well, totally. And it's what a boss bitch move to just be like, I'm the main character.

SPEAKER_03 18:50

I'm the main character, and I will not be showing up to your glow-up dinner.

SPEAKER_01 18:55

And I like when they reference the place. Yes. Like how Kyle Richards is always like, in Beverly Hills, or like Teresa. In Beverly Hills.

SPEAKER_00 19:04

It's like, okay.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

Nicole O'Neill. Yeah. Uh when you're a classic like me, you don't need a comeback.

SPEAKER_03 19:18

It's a little bit lame, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Um but I mean, I'm surprised she's back, to be honest.

SPEAKER_01 19:26

Honestly, same. And like, I think Nicole's like solid. Like I think she's awesome. Nothing. Whatever. I just didn't appreciate her storyline last season. I thought it was really boring. I did like she caused a bit of drama in Japan. Um I do love that she's like, no, I'm never late. I'm always on time. That was funny. But like, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:46

And she was fun for like the Lebanese uh shopping extra edition. That was a bit that was a bit fun. Going to the area of Sydney to get a few. I love her posh accent. It's really good. Yeah, very good.

SPEAKER_01 20:00

It actually like titillates me. It's it like it's like a Nigella, like I get a physical reaction when I hear Nigella speak.

SPEAKER_03 20:09

Yeah, I get that.

SPEAKER_01 20:10

And I get the same thing from Nicole's voice. It's like, ooh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:17

Chill down the spine.

SPEAKER_01 20:18

Because she's old money. She's old money. Which I feel like she's referencing in this tagline. Classic like me. She's just bragging about the old money.

SPEAKER_00 20:26

True, true.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

Dr. Kate Adams, friend of the pod. Hers is create your own success and you'll answer to no one. We get it, doll. You're self-made.

SPEAKER_03 20:39

Self-made bitch.

SPEAKER_01 20:41

Um she's got a real bee in her bonnet about the chip on her shoulder, still, this season. About the girls. Like Martine walks in and she's like, oh, not another trophy wife.

SPEAKER_03 20:51

I was like, ooh, get him.

SPEAKER_01 20:53

Yep, yep, yep.

SPEAKER_03 20:54

Oh, fair enough. She's had a bit of a B in her bonnet on social media recently.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

She has taken to social media which I kind of love. More than a Jackie Gillies bot.

SPEAKER_03 21:05

Yes. More than a Jackie Gillies bot.

SPEAKER_01 21:08

She is on one. And I'm kind of here for it.

SPEAKER_03 21:11

I'm living for it. And I I love how like Yeah, she just like comes for the haters and it's it's it's fun. It's entertaining. It's pretty fun.

SPEAKER_01 21:19

She understands the assignment when it comes to like being a a notable person on social media. Loves it.

SPEAKER_03 21:25

It's like also interactive with people too, which is so fun for me.

SPEAKER_01 21:29

Yeah, and if you didn't catch her episode, so I had Dr. K on the pod late last year. We came on and we talked about F Boy Island, the finale. Yeah, yeah. Because she was watching, I was watching, I was like, girl, come on. And she was she was a delight. So go listen to that app if you haven't yet. Uh Caroline. Caroline Gaultier.

SPEAKER_03 21:49

Life is my runway, and I never miss a step. Love that she's modelling again. Love that that's her whole thing.

SPEAKER_01 21:58

She's modelling again, but But what she's mainly doing again is always being surrounded by a lot of gays at all times. Yeah. Which is a good choice.

SPEAKER_03 22:09

It's a very good choice. Yes. A gay will not lead you astray.

SPEAKER_01 22:14

Well, I don't know. Some of those Sydney gays. Have you met those Sydney guys? They will absolutely lead you astray.

unknown 22:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 22:26

Not Chris though. Love her bestie Chris. Yeah. He's my fave character last year. Glad he's back.

SPEAKER_03 22:31

They were f they were very fun on um I think it was him on Instagram today. Uh she kept getting dropped off at the wrong location for like uh Mardi Gran. Oh, they get exactly. They were going to like some like you know, pre promo stuff for the show. And it was quite hilarious. Um and she I liked it, or like I said something to her on her um reply to a story and she liked my message. Oh I'm like a Pokemon uh Trono. Gotta catch them all. Gotta catch them all. That's me with Housewives. Nothing will be.

SPEAKER_01 23:06

You've got to get a like from all of them.

SPEAKER_03 23:08

Yeah, nothing will beat Kathy Hilton sending me a love heart.

SPEAKER_01 23:11

You got Kathy Hilton Love Heart.

SPEAKER_03 23:13

Yes, I did.

SPEAKER_01 23:14

Oh my god. I got a Kathy Hilton Love Heart. What did you write? Like Michael Jackson is the best.

SPEAKER_03 23:20

I don't see black colours.

SPEAKER_01 23:21

Kyle's a dumb bitch.

SPEAKER_03 23:23

I don't see colour. Um I honestly don't remember. I I could probably find it. Commercial break. Come back to you with why Kathy Hilton sent me a love heart. But yes.

SPEAKER_01 23:33

Well, if you stay to the end of the episode, we will tell you what Kathy Hilton Love Heart is in an exclusive.

SPEAKER_03 23:39

Post a screenshot on the Instagram.

SPEAKER_01 23:42

I'm into it. Finally, Sally Obermeda. She's she's on the cast. Uh, and her tagline is kindness should never be mistaken for weakness.

SPEAKER_03 23:54

I'm looking forward to and that's giving me a promise, and like the whole like glow-up and her like rebranding. I it's giving me a little bit of hope that Sally will rise to the occasion to the occasion and give us a little bit of more.

SPEAKER_01 24:10

Yeah. I'm ready. I'm ready whenever Sally is.

SPEAKER_03 24:13

I'm ready, Sally.

SPEAKER_01 24:14

Yeah. Let's do it, Sally. It's your season. I mean, she's already starting the drama hosting the glow-up party, but I realised that she had to host that because she's the only one that's not like involved in like a beef.

SPEAKER_03 24:27

Yeah, true. Because she's a fence sitter. She's a Switzerland.

SPEAKER_01 24:30

Yeah. Alright. The episode starts, of course, with Chrissy drinking skinny breaches with Johnny.

SPEAKER_02 24:39

And she's like, oh Johnny. 20, 20, 20, 22.

SPEAKER_01 24:45

Remember when we were in Italy, Johnny, and we had a few stiffies, if you know what I mean, and we made Milana. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Johnny.

SPEAKER_03 24:55

People who name their children after the city that they conceive their children. But then put an A on the end. It's Melania.

SPEAKER_01 25:04

Is it Melania?

SPEAKER_03 25:05

No, that's Melania on Jersey. Oh, oh, duh. Yeah, yeah. Thank God it is too.

SPEAKER_01 25:11

It's not even original. She doesn't divulge the bank balance, as I've um covered. Which I'm like, come on, just give us just if you want to be rich and obnoxious, I think she's do it.

SPEAKER_03 25:23

I think she answered that question when she told us she had not one but two houses in Noosa.

SPEAKER_01 25:29

Oh my god. The episode not the episode ending with her going, Oh well look, there's room for everyone in the house of Noosa, and if you if you get over it, don't worry, I own I own the whole street. So like wow.

SPEAKER_03 25:43

That's giving little Kim owning two mansions on either side of the road from each other in Alpine, New Jersey.

SPEAKER_01 25:51

And did you see the house in the clips for next week? It's insane. Uh-huh. Yeah, we love it. Love it. We love it. Um, she says that Terry has been very disrespectful to the whole group. So I was already but I was very happy that there was shade being thrown within like minutes of this episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That made me happy.

SPEAKER_03 26:17

And what I'll say is I'm not saying Chrissy sh carries the show, but she is very much the the entertainment center. She's not afraid to look silly. Not afraid to look silly, has some absolute crackers. So she's an essential worker to these casts. Very essential.

SPEAKER_01 26:37

Yeah. Loving it. Uh then we cut to Nicole. She's transitioning. Uh, meaning the girls are leaving. And I was like, yeah, we know. That was your storyline last year. Shut up.

SPEAKER_03 26:50

Now was Nicole was doing a whole like uh cooking thing. She was doing a little bit of a Lydia.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

Um good luck. Yeah, good luck, sweetie. Was it Nicole? Was that no, it was Chrissy doing that.

SPEAKER_03 27:03

Oh, was it Chrissy? Yeah, sometimes I do.

SPEAKER_01 27:06

They are a little bit interchangeable.

SPEAKER_03 27:07

Yeah, Nicole had her like Lebanese feast. That's right. Right? Yeah. But yeah, I I just combined the two. Whoopsie.

SPEAKER_01 27:18

Uh she's at the gym working out with a Hemsworth looking PT.

SPEAKER_03 27:23

That did actually make me realise I need to join a gym. Yeah. Watching her. Unlike her.

SPEAKER_01 27:30

The story was like, the kids have left, so now it's time for me. Time. I was like, good on you. Um Caroline hasn't seen Kate since the reunion because she's focusing on things that are fun.

SPEAKER_03 27:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:45

Like Chris. Uh then she tells us a bit about her mum who is starting chemo. So I think she's in a place in her life where she's like, like, this is the real important shit. Yeah. And I don't want to focus on the drama, which I I've been there. You know, like something something serious is happening, and you just like move away from petty stuff. Yes. Which is also a perfect time to start filming a reality show with that person. So I'm really excited. Uh, and she tells us she's getting back into modelling, and she's fucking someone that's 17 young 17 years old younger than her. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 28:25

And she's 52, so I don't know how to work out arithmetic that quickly. Please get a calculator on.

SPEAKER_01 28:31

52 minus 17. 35. Fuck, that's my so she's like someone minus. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 28:40

Okay. Go girl. She looks incredible. So good. She's amazing. So good. So hot.

SPEAKER_01 28:46

Yeah, as is Chris, my ad. You glowing doll.

SPEAKER_03 28:51

Stunning.

SPEAKER_01 28:52

Stunning. Uh, friend of the pod, Dr. Kate, tells us she's been sick. And then we get an actual Insta story.

SPEAKER_03 29:01

I was watching those stories live. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:04

We get one about her deteriorating kidneys.

SPEAKER_03 29:06

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 29:07

Uh yeah, she's been all over socials.

SPEAKER_03 29:09

Shit time, Kate.

SPEAKER_01 29:10

Shit times, but she trucks through as she always does. Uh, she says that uh the only thing that's important in life is health and happiness.

SPEAKER_03 29:19

Yeah, I agree with that too.

SPEAKER_01 29:21

I think that's a better tagline, too, to be honest.

SPEAKER_03 29:24

Yeah. Wait, what was their tagline? He's just said it. I've got to be able to do that. It was about being self-made. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:31

Yeah. Sally is still with us. She tells us she's throwing the glow-up dinner. Uh, then we get the iconic Victoria Montana line about being out of touch, which I died. And then we get the drone shot of Martine on the balcony. The white one doll. Yeah. Oh, you're looking at the best view of view in Sydney. Oh, so good.

SPEAKER_03 29:56

I wish I had that with somebody, but what am I gonna do? Jump over the fence to my neighbour behind me.

SPEAKER_01 30:03

Our version of that, like the freeway. We've both got the same view of the freeway.

SPEAKER_03 30:07

Like I stand at the top of the Rialto Tower. Can you see me from there with binoculars?

SPEAKER_01 30:13

That that property, like, insane on the harbour.

SPEAKER_03 30:18

So insane.

SPEAKER_01 30:18

And I love that Victoria loves just reminding everyone of it all the time. Best game, Sydney. It's giving what was her name? Victoria Race. With the my apartment in Bondi is in every postcard in of Sydney.

SPEAKER_03 30:36

It is giving that.

SPEAKER_01 30:37

Bring her back. Uh Queens. There's a okay, so we meet Martine. Yep. 16-year age gap between her and the hubby. Love. Dog in a pram. Love. Hates the sun. She's cookie. She's cookie, not?

SPEAKER_03 30:55

Yeah, she she w has a parasol. She's a little given a little spectrum-y.

SPEAKER_01 31:02

Oh, I didn't pick up on that. Um.

SPEAKER_03 31:05

Because they joke about her being a sociopath or like Victoria does, and I'm like, I actually think she might just a little. Like, yeah, we're all on it. Just it is a spectrum. Yeah, but she's given a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 31:18

Yeah, she's giving Cookie Girl, and I'm like, I can't leave four. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:23

Yeah. You're in her Megan programming. Chrissy. All aboard the HMAS just for fun. I'm so glad it's back. Nicole and Caroline join her for a little harbour cruise. And Caroline tells the ladies about her young little piece.

SPEAKER_03 31:45

Her little piece in Hawaii.

SPEAKER_01 31:49

Then we cut to uh back to Victoria. Martine, who are catching up. She tells us that Terry has got some work to do with the girls. So they're all kind of foreshadowing, like, ooh, Terry's the like wicked witch of the West kind of thing. Yeah, Terry's the villain. She's villain. She needs to come back. They all think she's gonna come back with her towel between her legs. And I'm like, I can tell you now that's not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_03 32:16

Darling, she won't. Darling, you got it wrong. No. Speaking of um accents, Terry's got one of those.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

Taro. Tarot. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:26

Got a bit of that.

SPEAKER_01 32:27

It's great.

SPEAKER_03 32:28

I like her. Yeah. A little bit prone troll. Well.

SPEAKER_01 32:34

Yeah, she's got a really good accent.

SPEAKER_03 32:35

I forgot, speaking of one-liners, uh, on the boat when uh Caroline said Moses parting the Red Sea in a pink bikini would have to that would be the only reason why she would talk about it. That was great. That was amazing.

SPEAKER_01 32:54

There's actually too many good lines on the show. And they go over your head. Like, you need to watch it like six times, and like so many good sound bites.

SPEAKER_03 33:03

And the songs too. I can't believe we haven't even I I've just wrote them down.

SPEAKER_01 33:06

Oh, you got some songs. I didn't cut clock any of the songs, but I think it's because I'm recapping four shows at the moment. You're all welcome. So I'm kind of like so. I'm kind of like not that fussed about the songs, but I'm glad you've been paying attention.

SPEAKER_03 33:22

The tunes, but I'll give you ah, you're excellent and I'm only here for the party.

SPEAKER_01 33:30

Oh, I actually do remember that one.

SPEAKER_03 33:32

That's all I have. But anyway.

SPEAKER_01 33:34

Yeah, the binge budget is working hard on those tracks this season.

SPEAKER_03 33:40

I can't remember. Did Melbourne have real music?

SPEAKER_01 33:42

I can't remember. No, I think it had no, it had similar.

SPEAKER_03 33:46

I reckon we need to campaign with this certain TikToker um to bring Melbourne back. Oh. And possibly do like a vintage recap.

SPEAKER_01 33:57

Oh, yeah, that'd be cute.

SPEAKER_03 33:58

I mean, yeah, I mean you only reviewing a million shows at once.

SPEAKER_01 34:03

Because all the shows are on at once, I'm assuming that when they all finish at the same time, I'm gonna have a big Real Housewives of Melbourne-shaped whole. So we might do some vintage recaps. Let me know if that's something you've got. I would be so into that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:18

Especially if um you can get Gina or Lydia on the spot. I'll I'll work on Jackie. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 34:24

Or a bot or the bot. We could get a Jackie bot to come on.

SPEAKER_03 34:27

Maybe just an AI Jackie Gillies.

SPEAKER_01 34:30

Shine, shine, shine. Um Jackie. Oh my god. Alright, so Sally and Kate catch up, and they're bot these fucking looks. So Sally has dressed as Kate with a with a collar and big puffy sleeves. And I was like, what? Like it's like she borrowed one of Kate's outfits.

SPEAKER_03 34:50

What is with housewives? I saw a meme actually. It was like the chokehold that a collar has and a tie have on housewives.

SPEAKER_01 34:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:00

It's like ridiculous.

SPEAKER_02 35:02

Like they love a tie and a Dr.

SPEAKER_01 35:05

Kate goes, Oh my god, you look amazing.

SPEAKER_02 35:07

And I'm like, Yeah, because she's wearing your top. Yeah, so good. She did look actually really hot. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:12

And they both talk about their illnesses over chips and oysters, which I was like, this is a fun date. Um back on the just for fun. Yep. The girls bitch about Kick Terry and Kate. And it's I I like that we're getting proper like factions now. It's like proper, like warring sides. Yeah, I love it. It's Australian Survivor.

SPEAKER_03 35:37

Which I don't want to do. It's Brains versus Brawn. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:40

Which side is Brains?

SPEAKER_03 35:42

Oh. I would say I would say like Kate and Yeah, Kate, Kate's side is the Brains and Terry. And then just hilarious.

SPEAKER_01 35:54

Chrissy Marsh's uh is the Braun. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:57

Chrissy Marsh's the Braun. Yeah. She could throw me over her shoulder.

SPEAKER_01 36:01

She'd definitely backer doll.

SPEAKER_03 36:04

She looks like a rugby player. In the best way possible.

SPEAKER_01 36:08

Yeah. Yeah. Back at the girlies chips and oysters. Sally tells us that Terry is not coming to the glow up dinner. To which I was like, no. But I get it. You gotta like edge us a bit with the biv. You can't just drop her in F1.

SPEAKER_03 36:23

Yeah, that's true. This is true. Where was she? What was her excuse?

SPEAKER_01 36:28

I think she said she wasn't ready.

SPEAKER_03 36:29

She wasn't ready, that's right. She wasn't ready to be there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:32

Not emotionally ready. Or they were still working on the fine print in the contract. Yeah, because I think she did one of those. Yeah. Yeah. We get some flashbacks to Kate and Caroline's altercation at the reunion. Altercation or just awkwardness? I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 36:52

It was just like a bit of nothing. I was like, I th I took that bit back because I was like, I'm I'm missing what actually happened.

SPEAKER_01 37:01

I did like the big uh like brass choker thing. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:06

Yeah. That came from. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. She looked really good. It was hot in the store. I want more ponytail. Yeah. Yeah, give us more power dressing, Kate.

SPEAKER_01 37:15

Snatch ponytail is so hot on you, Kate. The like hair down the front.

SPEAKER_03 37:21

I gotta give a shout out to her brows too this season because she's got strong insane brows. She's got strong brows. Love it.

SPEAKER_01 37:29

It's a strong bisexual brow. I'm here for it. Um we learn that Kate and Caroline blocked and or unfollowed each other, but we don't know who did it first, and I'm dying to know.

SPEAKER_03 37:43

She admitted it though. She said I blocked her phone number.

SPEAKER_01 37:46

They both admitted it, but each said that the other did it first.

SPEAKER_03 37:50

Is that right? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 37:52

I love this shit.

SPEAKER_03 37:53

I love it too. Okay, so do you have any numbers blocked on your phone, Sam?

SPEAKER_01 37:59

Um yeah, but I feel like does that even work? Who's like calling or texting these days anyway?

SPEAKER_03 38:07

Me, I guess. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 38:08

I've never had to like proper block anyone ever. No. You have?

SPEAKER_03 38:12

Yeah, I've got like a like a 12-person block list on my phone. Fuck. Not on Instagram. Like, I have way more on Instagram. Oh, yeah. Um, but that's just mainly sex bots from Russia.

SPEAKER_01 38:24

Yeah. Jackie Gillies bots. Bots knocking at your door.

SPEAKER_03 38:27

Yeah. So I think I think Kate was like initially, she said uh she was texting me too much, and I didn't want to reply, so I blocked her number.

SPEAKER_01 38:36

I can see Kate just like sitting at home with the cats being like, I'm gonna message Caroline, and just like being a little bit intense. Yeah. But like try like in her mind, she's like trying to sort it out. Sort it out, but like it would come across intense, and Carolyn's Carolyn's such a like, oh whatever, let's just you know, chill and like party with the gays. She's like out at universal, like getting on it.

SPEAKER_03 39:04

And then yeah, okay. But yeah, I swear Kate admitted she blocked her first.

SPEAKER_01 39:10

Oh, she did later on? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:11

No, no, there was a lot.

SPEAKER_01 39:12

I'm not gonna lie, the l the dinner party scene was a lot. Like, I tried to keep up, but like I definitely want to acknowledge that a lot happened in a very short amount of time, in like the last like five minutes of this episode.

SPEAKER_03 39:26

Yeah, it was a bit But it was fun. Cray cray.

SPEAKER_01 39:30

Carolyn and Chris meet up with Akira and Jordan, iconic fashion designers. Um, what did you think of these insane lyrics?

SPEAKER_03 39:42

Uh not my aesthetic. Uh I actually love the course, her dress was very good. Yeah, very Caroline, very like suited her. Um, but yeah, that Tokyo Haruzuku.

SPEAKER_01 39:55

I had a Kawhi look not Australia's next top model like trigger flashback. Because it was giving just something about the whole like Sydney gaze in a warehouse with like extravagant looks and them all. I was like, wow.

SPEAKER_03 40:09

And everything's in that like part of Sydney where it's like under a bridge or something.

SPEAKER_01 40:16

And I went to like one it was a very like carriage work looking set that they do the strategies next week.

SPEAKER_03 40:24

Any like event I've been to in Sydney has been there, and I'm just like everything just looks always looks the same.

SPEAKER_01 40:31

Like a brick wall. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought it was iconic. I just also love that that Chris is getting airtime.

SPEAKER_03 40:41

Love that doll.

SPEAKER_01 40:42

We so he get her get her a tagline.

SPEAKER_03 40:45

Get her a tagline, get her like an official friend of. Yeah. Cool.

SPEAKER_01 40:49

We need friend of stuff.

SPEAKER_03 40:50

We need more gays on the show. Like, we need more add-ons with Australian.

SPEAKER_01 40:54

Well, I just don't trust a housewife if they don't have like a gaggle of gays following. So it's like, come on, other ladies. Like, get come on. Because okay. Victoria Montana doesn't have a bunch of gays anymore.

SPEAKER_03 41:05

No. She's too right wing.

SPEAKER_01 41:09

Well, she's right wing presenting.

SPEAKER_03 41:11

Presenting. Right wing presenting. It's really good.

SPEAKER_01 41:14

She didn't didn't she do a performance in a gay club?

SPEAKER_03 41:16

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, like, only recently they were like it was like the other day they were at some like drag show.

SPEAKER_01 41:23

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 41:24

I mean I love it. I'm trying to think like any other like franchises um really include their gays. I'd say Atlanta has really champions.

SPEAKER_01 41:34

Potomac is good for that too.

SPEAKER_03 41:35

Gays still haven't watched Potomac.

SPEAKER_01 41:38

Miami has Miami is pretty, but yeah, there's stick with it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:43

But like I think Atlanta is the one where they really like the gays are supporting characters. And central to the drama. And central to the drama.

SPEAKER_01 41:51

Just like in release. Yep. That's what we do. Yeah. Chrissy threatens Johnny to wear a gold J banger to the glow-up dinner. Fucking funny. Oh Johnny, I'm gonna wear a gold J stringer.

SPEAKER_03 42:06

One thing I love about Housewives is the getting ready for a girls' trip or getting ready for a night out with a theme in front of the fan. That's my like my.

SPEAKER_01 42:19

Was it Milana that walked in? She was just like, Oh yeah, Mum, we're the G banger.

SPEAKER_03 42:23

Yeah, she's like, what does what does uh glow up even mean? Milana's like, oh it's you, you know, you're glowing up to be your best self. She's like, oh, I already am my best self. Well, just go as you, mum.

SPEAKER_01 42:33

I did like a lot of them had that response. Like Montano was the same. She was like, I'm already glowing.

SPEAKER_03 42:39

So I'm already wearing my seal hide bikini under a minute.

SPEAKER_01 42:46

Are we just leaving that there as well? Like, none of the first up. It's surely it'll come back later.

SPEAKER_03 42:50

Yeah, it's gotta come back up.

SPEAKER_01 42:52

It looks like next week Montano is on fire with like putting her foot in it, and I can't wait. I can't wait. Yeah. Gets a bit too drunk at Noosa, I think. Uh back at the photo shoot, Carolyn almost takes a tumble, but a gay rescues her off the little tiny plinth. I was like, why are they putting her up there?

SPEAKER_03 43:12

That reminded me of um a time when I was in uh a warehouse party in Brooklyn. No, sorry, it wasn't in Brooklyn, it was in LA with my dear friend who was wearing a lorry high shoes at a party with uh Brooke Candy was that. Oh fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:31

And this wasn't when they partied at Little Kim's house.

SPEAKER_03 43:34

Not that year, it was 2012. It was the first time first round of US and um dear friend Oh just Oh 2012, as in when we went on the drag race cruise. Yes, when we went on the drag race cruise.

SPEAKER_01 43:45

Little side story. Lorelai and I in 2012 went on the like Alan Chuck.travel drag race cruise with Michelle Vassage.

SPEAKER_03 43:57

Who called me and Charlotte the Brooklyn side. She did. Stage name. Stage name Brooklyn Queens. Um that yeah, iconic. When I I tell people that about that now and they're like, What the fuck? Like, what? I told my boss, and he's like, You did what? It's like, okay, there's too much to explain here. But yeah, my my my friend uh rolled her ankle, fell off her giant shoes, broke her shoe in front of Brooke Candy at this party. It was Charlotte. She won't care if we're saying this on the podcast. She might not get it. It's iconic, Charlotte. So iconic, yeah. And they all thought we were famous because like they like the people that invited us to the party followed Brooklyn Queens on Instagram for reference. We DJed together as Brooklyn Queens duo. Um and they get like they're like, Oh, we thought you were from Brooklyn. We're like, no.

SPEAKER_01 44:51

You're like, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:53

Brooklyn near Foot Square.

SPEAKER_01 44:54

West Foot Square tile. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 44:58

Real side swipe there.

SPEAKER_01 45:01

We get a moment with Martine and Ernie, the pug in the pram. And she's like, oh, yo, cool, cool, cool. And then I was like, is this actual footage of me talking to Frida? Yeah. Because it was. I I literally talk to Frida like that every time I leave the house.

SPEAKER_03 45:17

I'm like, oh, I wish you could come.

SPEAKER_01 45:20

Like I'm disgusting.

SPEAKER_03 45:21

Make my daughter say goodbye to Sheba. Like every time we leave the house, you can say goodbye to Sheba.

SPEAKER_01 45:26

See, that's acceptable though, because there's a child involved.

SPEAKER_03 45:29

Well, yeah, but like I still talk to Sheba like that when Alita was like, she's definitely my first baby. Yeah. So I understand that quite a bit.

SPEAKER_01 45:36

Alita knows the talk. The hierarchy ranking system in your household. Josh.

SPEAKER_03 45:42

Yeah, I love a housewife talking to a pet.

SPEAKER_01 45:45

Yeah, it's good. But also, they normally have like quite chic pets, but she's got this like fat pug with the tongue out, and I'm obsessed with it in the fucking pram. And it like loves the pram.

SPEAKER_02 45:58

I love pugs. Yeah, me too. They're so cute.

SPEAKER_01 46:01

So Sally's getting ready for the Glop dinner. For some reason in my mind, when she said she was hosting a dinner, I thought it was actually gonna like be at her house. And then we're at like a restaurant, which I was like, okay, sure. Like, did it be a little bit more? How much hosting was involved? Also, like Sydney, I'm sorry, like we it's beautiful, but like does everything need to be on the fucking harbour? Like, can get another location.

SPEAKER_03 46:22

That's all they've got.

SPEAKER_01 46:23

Yeah. That's their like it's fucking beautiful, but I'm just sick of seeing from like a visual, like storytelling perspective. Why aren't we like Could we just do one scene? Actually, it was like last season when they went out to the burbs to the Lebanese shop. Yeah. We need more of that. I want to need more of that. I want to like travel across the city.

SPEAKER_03 46:43

Yeah, take us to Surrey Hills.

SPEAKER_01 46:45

Because the harbour front places are all kind of like tourist traps anyway, right?

SPEAKER_03 46:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:50

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 46:51

Yeah, I I admittedly haven't really hung out around the harbour much.

SPEAKER_01 46:56

This place looked annoying. It was like classic, like Italian guy being like, Oh Sally, welcome back. Doing my black like seriously.

SPEAKER_03 47:03

It's like if we were hanging out at like South Wharf or something. That's what I mean. Yeah, but like it's actually nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The art centre, like near there.

SPEAKER_01 47:13

South Wharf DFO. Yeah, I did like there were some hot Italian waiters at this venue.

SPEAKER_03 47:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:20

Which, like, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:22

The house the housewife's version of the pit crew.

SPEAKER_01 47:24

Yeah, exactly. So we like that. But that none of them got inappropriately hit on.

SPEAKER_03 47:29

Disappointing Christy Mark.

SPEAKER_01 47:32

Victoria Montano and Martin rock up. Um, the girlies just want to have fun. Like these girlies are wearing the tiniest fucking skirts.

SPEAKER_03 47:42

I love what um Victoria is like. She's like a ghost, and I'm a bronze goddess.

SPEAKER_01 47:51

I'm a spray tan. She's whiter than a ghost. She is. Yeah. She's make she's Megan the ghost. What the fuck was Megan wearing? Like the fuck was she wearing? It was like two What actually, what was it? I need a white explanation.

SPEAKER_03 48:11

Strapless, red roses.

SPEAKER_01 48:13

It was like faux hips.

SPEAKER_03 48:15

Yeah, like a little bustle, a little hip fussle. And then we're my gold boots. Kind of giving a bit cowboy vibe too. I was like, is this like cowboy carter tour?

SPEAKER_01 48:28

I was like, you look insane. And I want to party. Like that whole dinner party. Yeah, there was like drama happening, whatever, but I was literally the whole time just like, I want if I was there, I would have been like, Victoria and Martin, let's get the fuck out of here. Let's go do a bag and like party.

SPEAKER_03 48:44

I would love to party with Victoria and Martine. They would tell me I was fat, like behind my back.

SPEAKER_01 48:51

We would both look incredible. Well, like anyone would look very fat next to them.

SPEAKER_03 48:55

Um but I don't know, Martine's giving me like cold Russian vibes. Like she's like, she's definitely got some Eastern European in her ideal. She's giving that Slavic bitch.

SPEAKER_01 49:10

She could be a bot.

SPEAKER_03 49:11

She could be a bot.

SPEAKER_01 49:13

I yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:14

That would be such an iconic.

SPEAKER_01 49:18

The world's first AI housewife. They've made her up. She's not real.

SPEAKER_03 49:24

Did we just invent that?

SPEAKER_01 49:26

They put into Chat GPT, give us Megan with shades of Nicole Kidman in a fucked dress.

SPEAKER_03 49:35

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 49:36

Incredible.

SPEAKER_03 49:37

This is amazing.

SPEAKER_01 49:39

Great work, binge. Love it. Uh Kate. This is where Kate's like, oh, not another trophy wife. Oh, and I love these two. Victoria's like, maybe it wasn't me that had the B.O. the whole time. Maybe it's her. And I was like, oh, it was like a subtle dig, but it was like a callback to last season with the B-O.

SPEAKER_03 50:00

That was a really good like undercover shady moment. Really good. I loved it.

SPEAKER_01 50:06

Okay, so Carolyn enters and Kate isn't having it. She says she feels a dark energy. A dark presence. A dark presence. And then Carolyn's like, I felt a coldness. So I love this.

SPEAKER_03 50:20

Like, I thought Kate did really well with that um cord cordial. The the house. They were cordial.

SPEAKER_01 50:28

They did a double kiss, but like they were a good like 20 centimetres from each other.

SPEAKER_03 50:33

Caroline saying, Oh, you look nice. Kate should have said you too, but anyway.

SPEAKER_01 50:38

Oh yeah, there was a you look nice and then a not response. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:41

Yeah. That was a real I love you. Thank you moment.

SPEAKER_01 50:46

Oh my god. At the dinner, Mart, because you know, they're all getting to know Martine. She's like, I love horror. And I was like, Yes! I was like, there it is. I was like, she is a killer doll. This is so good.

SPEAKER_03 50:57

I needed more of that. I needed more like freak revealing.

SPEAKER_01 51:02

Yeah. Yeah. And so it starts off a bit cute, the giggling. They did the BBL chat. Uh then Sally cops a bit of heat from Chrissy for being a fence sitter. Yep. So I like they just like going the host. Did you think Sally thought that because she was the host she was like immune from immune?

SPEAKER_03 51:19

Yeah, I do. But I'm ready for like Sally to grow a backbone and kind of give us some bite this season. Like. Yeah. Do you think it's gonna happen? It's not gonna happen, but like I hope, I'm hopeful. We want that for you.

SPEAKER_01 51:35

But like she can I mean, I actually think she's incredibly reasonable. She's like way too smart and like normal to be on this show, let's be honest. She is giving a little bit cheek, but oh but cheeks like Cheeks was down for a bit of a uh a bitch sesh. She wouldn't like actively contribute all the time, but she was there loving it. Oh man, I know and she had a fun gay husband.

SPEAKER_03 52:00

Like, come on, she was way more fun than Melbourne. I know it's so Melbourne of me to be on a podcast talking about Real Housewives of Sydney and talk more about Real Housewives of Melbourne.

SPEAKER_01 52:12

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 52:14

Like, come on, I'm a meme at this point.

SPEAKER_01 52:19

Oh my god. Okay, uh then it's present time, but it's not diamonds or uh a watch or something, it's an icebreaker activity, like we're at a fucking conference, and I was like, nice one, Sally. Real, real cool.

SPEAKER_03 52:35

Nothing will beat talking about dinner parties and games, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, finale dinner. The texts. Okay, how about we read the Venus text?

SPEAKER_01 52:48

She wears a hot dog to remind us she sucked her way to the top. Iconic. Iconic. I'm actually so sad that that is off our screens. I know. Every Thursday. I'm like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 53:00

There's no more Salt Lake. Salt Lake is the best franchise. I actually tell people that have never watched Housewives that if they're gonna do it, watch me too.

SPEAKER_01 53:09

Salt Lake, because my gateway suggestion.

SPEAKER_03 53:11

Not many seasons. It's yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:14

And they're all good. I know some people said that like what was it, three or four? Like one of them wasn't good, but I think they were all good.

SPEAKER_03 53:22

Someone gets like a Gensha sprinkled. That's the one.

SPEAKER_01 53:26

People say that one's not good.

SPEAKER_03 53:27

How can that not be good? That's great. That was like an iconic moment on reality.

SPEAKER_01 53:32

The first two were like Mary Cosby being nuts. Yeah. Then it's like Jen Shah being insane. Then it's fucking Reality Von T'es. And then Bronwyn and Brittany enter the mix. Like it's everyone that comes through the doors is truly insane.

SPEAKER_03 53:50

And Jen Shah due to be released November 2027.

SPEAKER_01 53:57

Oh, they'll bring that forward for sure.

SPEAKER_03 53:59

It's been brought forward twice already. Oh, but the release date.

SPEAKER_01 54:04

By next week it'll probably be brought forward.

SPEAKER_03 54:06

She's a terrible human, but I would still watch her.

SPEAKER_01 54:09

Oh, she's coming back.

SPEAKER_03 54:10

She's gonna be back, or like she's gonna be. Oh, we forgot about Jenny.

SPEAKER_01 54:15

Jenny was like Oh my god, Jenny. Well, she was a little blip. She yeah, but she I do often forget about Jenny, and then I remember and I'm like, oh.

SPEAKER_03 54:23

Fired.

SPEAKER_01 54:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:24

Anyway, but yes, Salt Lake City. Yeah. Fuck it up.

SPEAKER_01 54:30

Yeah, watch it if you haven't.

SPEAKER_03 54:32

So this um dinner game.

SPEAKER_01 54:36

The dinner game was not fun. But I guess, like, did it even start the drama? I think it was gonna start anyway.

SPEAKER_03 54:42

I think it was gonna start anyway, it was just a gateway to the drama.

SPEAKER_01 54:46

Um This was produced as battling, wasn't it? They were like, let's get the girlies to like write something down. Yeah, blah blah blah.

SPEAKER_03 54:54

Yeah, well, what are they doing? They're setting their intentions for the season. Were they like they're glowing up? They're doing a meta thing where they're like, this season, I'm gonna go.

SPEAKER_01 55:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:07

Caroline says the iconic line this is the same shit rolled in the same glitter uh to Kate when she starts to pipe up about um her and Chrissy. So you but it starts with Chrissy and Kate going off, then Caroline butts in, and Kate's really pissed off that Carolyn's decided to join in.

SPEAKER_03 55:32

Join in. Yep, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:33

Montana gets involved as well, but it's kind of unclear. Montana's not really like that fussed about sides. I think she's just like, I'm here. Hi. She just wants to have a fun night.

SPEAKER_03 55:44

I've got my feather extensions in.

unknown 55:47

Hello.

SPEAKER_01 55:49

Um, so yeah, Kate tells Chrissy she's turned things around against her, and the example that she uses is the like dating three guys at once thing, which I was like, Oh, she's stretching that one. It is a stretch, it's a reach.

SPEAKER_03 56:02

It's a reach doll. I feel like they've don't you hate it though when you're in that situation and you're faced with like come up with the receipts and you just like stumped. Yeah. Because I feel like I would be the Kate in that moment where I'm like, you know, searching for Chrissy had some more.

SPEAKER_01 56:22

I think Kate does actually have receipts. She just, yeah, she f she panicked and she didn't know how to uh divulge it. She also tells us that like without Terry there, she felt really uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_03 56:33

Oh yeah, because they were definitely ganging up on her.

SPEAKER_01 56:36

Totally. Also, it's like three against one, pretty much. It is pretty comfortable. Two and a half against one. Then Chrissy invites everyone to her multiple homes in Noosa, which I'm very excited about next week. And she's like, Kate, I just want to make sure that you're comfortable so you can stay in the house across the road. Oh and then Kate says in confessional, then this is very Kate last season as well, where in the moment at the dinner party, she's like, Yeah, cool, thanks. Cut to her in confessional. I would rather poke my eyes out with a fork than go to noosa.

SPEAKER_03 57:12

I was like, oh when they say those when they say those things in confessionals, I just can't wait for the reunion when it's brought up.

SPEAKER_01 57:21

Yeah, but I I don't I don't like a confessional queen. I want that at the dinner table. Like tell Chrissy to her face to go fuck like her and noosa houses can shove it up her ass. Like, do you know what I mean? Like true, but like Gina Leano style, just like tell her then and there. Yeah, true. I don't love the whiplash to a confessional.

SPEAKER_03 57:44

You and your deck of cards.

SPEAKER_01 57:46

Yeah, it's about to topple.

SPEAKER_03 57:48

Yeah. Yeah, no, I I get that, but um, as a non-confrontational queen myself, I understand the reserveness and like not saying that in the moment. Yeah, and it and it's a very Seinfeld um George Costanza the jerk store called, and they're running out of you, you know, thinking of the thing to say after when you're like, oh fucking. It's so that white, you know, retrospectively.

SPEAKER_01 58:14

Oh, I totally empathize, but it's also like oh, I just want you to like tell her.

SPEAKER_03 58:20

She'll she she's probably yeah, she needs us she needs a Terry by her side, and you know, you just need to feel like someone's on your side to have that confidence.

SPEAKER_01 58:29

Terry then is the topic of conversation. She comes up. There's like a bit of anyone spoken a Terry like.

SPEAKER_03 58:35

When was the last time you spoke to Terry?

SPEAKER_01 58:37

Oh, I spoke to Terry actually just the other day, but did you?

SPEAKER_03 58:40

But did you? Did you? Oh, you only texted her?

SPEAKER_01 58:42

Oh.

unknown 58:42

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 58:43

Why did you text her? When did you talk to Terry?

SPEAKER_03 58:45

When did you talk to Terry?

SPEAKER_01 58:46

Loved this bit. Then we go, then Caroline pops off, and we go straight back to the porn star comment, and I'm like, no, I was about to turn it off. I was like, not it was like not the porn star comment. That's so boring.

SPEAKER_03 58:59

We've moved past that.

SPEAKER_01 59:02

Then we get who blocked who first. And everyone's so confused. I like this as well. Like, yeah, Martine is particularly confused because she's like, who is this? She has no idea who that's. I was confused on the couch.

SPEAKER_03 59:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 59:14

And then the girls are like, let's leave them to it. I love this.

SPEAKER_03 59:19

Maybe they'll sort it out if we leave.

SPEAKER_01 59:22

They leave. I love Caroline's like, I'm actually not seeing the desire to glow up.

SPEAKER_02 59:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 59:31

Kate says she's experienced character assassination. It all really deteriorates quite fast.

SPEAKER_03 59:39

I feel like I need I don't know. Like, it wasn't enough just seeing the recap. I that moment in the confessional, I still don't quite understand what Carol like someone with a PhD has to like break it down.

SPEAKER_01 59:55

Because I was watching it and I was like, what's happening?

SPEAKER_03 59:57

Was it the was it the moment like on the boat when Caroline was like, my mum's sick, and then Kate didn't cry. Yes. She wiped no tears away.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:10

Or like didn't come and comfort her. So I feel like there's the mum thing for sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:14

I think Caroline perceived Kate as crocodile tears. Yeah. Giving like no actual sympathy.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:23

Because she says she's exposed Kate. She's like, I've exposed you and you're bullshit. And I'm like, I personally think that Kate is just an awkward person. I think she's like, she's she's who she is. Yep. And I think that they I think they're just oil and water, and they're never gonna get on. Do you know what I mean? Totally. But I don't think it's cool. I know I like I'm not really on either side here, but I definitely was watching it being like Caroline definitely said a few things that felt a bit mean.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:53

I'm yeah and the girls told her like Sally and stuff told her off. They're like Caroline, like chill.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:01

Yeah, Caroline gets on a roll, and then yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:05

I mean it's fabulous television, but I also want to understand it more.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:09

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:11

They're trying, they're trying so hard. Yeah, I just want to know what's going on. And then Caroline does the classic walk out, but it's like so not gen like you can just see, she's like, I'm and I'm going to walk out now.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:24

And you're like, it's not the storm out CD on repeat from last season. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:33

And that's the first out. We made it through. I think it was a solid, solid start.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:38

It was a very good, a very good first episode. Now, I did have some more lines here that um I I like I have the memory of the goldfish, so I just you know. Uh Victoria refers to Mart Martine as Edward Cullen and the man from American Psycho. Yeah. Um and Caroline says she doesn't really get along with her neighbours because my dog ate their rabbit.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:13

What? I miss that. Yeah. When was that?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:16

That was at the dinner at the start. And then she's like, I'm not the most popular girl in the neighborhood. And then everyone was like, Really? She's like, Yeah, yeah. My dog teared their rabbit to shreds.

unknown 1:02:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:33

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:34

So it's just two little tidbits there that I have.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:36

What a perfect way to end this episode. Now, um, for our listeners that are still with us, do we have the exclusive uh Kathy Hilton? Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:47

Alright, let me um let me bring that up.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:50

I'm really hoping it's something really she's so this is something that Lorelai said to Kathy Hilton in the DMs, and then she love hearted it.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:02

It may have been just like a reaction to her story. Let's just um bring it up. Okay. Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah. Oh, can't see it.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:13

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:14

But I think guys. I must have um I must have mentioned her in my story, right? Uh like I was watching the show and she responded to the story with a love heart face. You can have a look.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:31

Oh, she did. Oh, yeah, from your love. Oh my god, and then you wrote love.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:35

And I said love you. That's amazing. And then I mentioned her a few more times, and then I said I replied to her story saying, Glamor on the 29th of March 2022, and she saw it.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:47

We have it here, you have it here first. Kathy Hilton saw the glamour comment.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:52

It was either Kathy Hilton or what that lady's name is. You know when she's like, you know that lady? The lady. So it's either Kathy or the lady. Yeah, there we go.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:04

Laura Lycamboni, thank you so much. Thank you so much for that. Let's not leave it so long next time.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:09

Definitely not. This is Rose's going down a trot. Yes. And um the next time I see you, I I'll set myself a goal. I want to find a pair of Terry Biviano shoes. You remember how she had the two the shoe brand? Never found. I want a pair of biffs. Yep. So the next time I see you, hopefully I'll have them.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:30

And I want a pair of Betena Lianos.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:33

Oh shut up. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:36

What a combo.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:37

The shop next door to my work has like seconds and like I don't know, they just sell like new stuff, but it's like seconds or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:46

Essentially. But they sell more like high-end stuff like that. Oh they actually had a Fendi bag in there the other day. Um, and they had like a bunch of Bettina Liano mini skirts, but they were all like size six and I couldn't fit into them.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:00

They were Montano Montano sized minis.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:04

They were, yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:05

Stun. Um before you go, anything to anything to plug or tell us where tell you the listeners where they can find you.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:14

Well, actually, yeah, you can find me on Instagram at L-I-L-B-O-N-I. That's Lou Bone. And I am working on something that is taking a really long time. I'm hand painting some tablecloths. That's done. And I'll post some things soon. But yes, if you're into like Italiano uh summer vibes, which is very on brand, like very, you know, on trend at the moment. Um I'm banking in on that. Um, but yeah, that's something I'm working on. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:47

I can't wait.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:48

I'll see you soon, Dal.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:49

Ciao, ciao. Bye bye. Bye.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:52

Thank you for listening to The Cringe is Real with me, Sam Crame. If you would like to support the show, rate, review, share, and tell your friends. about it you can also find me on Instagram and Twitter. Links are in the show notes.