Love Triangle - Season 3 Part 1 (w/ Damask Leary)

Damask and Sam snuggle up on the cringe couch to take aim at a new show for the cringe, Love Triangle. This suitably unhinged TV program contains a bisexual diva, watermelon thigh crushing, and of course some toxic men. We recap the first 3 episodes and check in on JoJo Siwa’s chaos.

Transcript

Intro

SPEAKER_03 0:07

This podcast was produced on the land of the Wurundjeri people of the Koolin Nation. Welcome to the I'll fucking such a concerted reality television.

SPEAKER_02 0:23

The content is hideous.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

Sorry about this. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 0:27

Oh my god, Damascus.

SPEAKER_00 0:28

Hello.

SPEAKER_03 0:30

Welcome to the cringes of Real Dog.

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Thank you so much. This is a long time coming.

SPEAKER_03 0:33

It actually is, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:35

Back and forth we've had over, I'm gonna say years to get me in this um couch, and I have been very elusive. It's mostly just because I've got a terrible memory. Um but I'm here now. We finally got you here. Yes, that's right.

SPEAKER_03 0:48

That's right, because what were we gonna talk about? Um made in Bondi. That's right. Which did you finish that absolute train wreck?

SPEAKER_00 0:56

I didn't even start it.

SPEAKER_03 0:58

Oh, good thing we didn't talk about.

SPEAKER_00 0:59

Because I was I was really heartbroken about Bondi Bays. Did you watch that?

SPEAKER_03 1:04

Uh no. That was incredible. That's what I meant. Uh uh. Okay. I'm gonna babber on the space.

SPEAKER_00 1:11

My memory doesn't work. Um yeah, no, I watched that and I loved that so much.

SPEAKER_03 1:14

Every second there, I thought they made a Bondi spin-off of Byron Bays, and I got very excited.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

We can pitch it. Um, but no, I watched that, loved it, and then they only got one season. So I was like, I can't invest in any more of these shows if they're not gonna let me live. It was that crystal woman, like who was obsessed with crystals. I love her.

SPEAKER_03 1:34

How is she not on television?

SPEAKER_00 1:35

I don't know. I don't know why she hasn't shown up in my algorithm or just her with crystal.

SPEAKER_03 1:39

Just her with crystal.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

I would watch the shit out of that.

SPEAKER_03 1:42

Yeah. I'm not mad that she's not in mine. I do occasionally come across Jade Kevin Foster.

SPEAKER_01 1:50

Jade Kevin.

SPEAKER_03 1:51

The gay with the um lip. Oh my gosh. Yes. She's in she's a Melbourne girly now, and so I do occasionally see her out and about, and I'm always like, In the flesh, hey girl, yeah. The real world and she is just as chaotic, IRL.

SPEAKER_00 2:08

Next time you see them, send me a message. Let me know where you are. I will be there. I'm getting that we are. We have eyes on Jade on a live feed.

Jojo Siwa's Chaos Continues

SPEAKER_03 2:17

Really fun. Um, yeah. And uh Miss Siwa continues to cause chaos, and you've got lots to say.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

Yes. As as I was preparing to arrive here, I sent you a message. I was like, we need to talk about the Jojo situation. It's ongoing. Um, and so I was like, you know, I've got to take some notes because I've got a lot of thoughts. Um, and so I started writing them, and it ended up being a full page of notes. Um, do you mind? Please on top. And please like interrupt as I go because there's like a lot of there's a lot going on.

SPEAKER_03 2:48

You got a lot to say, and look, it it is election day, so you know, we're really hitting the heart. Yeah, what's what matters to the Australian people is what happened to Kath Ebbs. Well, she's exactly she's an enemy of the state at this point.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

100%. After you heartbreak our Kath, I mean I'm not about like border force unless it's regarding Jojo Sewa. You know what I mean? Like, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 3:11

Full like Novak Djokovic on earth. Like she's no longer welcome.

SPEAKER_00 3:15

No longer welcome at all. Um, okay, so this I've written it as a Jojo preamble. Right. Um, I just want to say most of my thoughts are not really directed to Jojo herself, right?

SPEAKER_03 3:28

She's a bear.

SPEAKER_00 3:29

She's a bear bear. Um, and look, being a young queer is complicated as well. It is hard, and we go through a lot of different things. Yes. It's just a shame that it's being televised. Yeah, true, true, true. This is the real issue. So my preamble is more directed at all of the comments I have seen um on the TikTok. So I'm responding directly to a lot of arguments I'm seeing take place on behalf of Jojo's actions. Okay. Okay. So the first one being, oh, she's 21, she's just 21.

SPEAKER_02 4:01

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

Which is true, absolutely. Um, but however, I don't think being young is ever an excuse to be an asshole. No. Um, you know, you can have empathy, frontal lobe, not fully formed, all of that stuff, but it doesn't wash away bad behaviour necessarily. So that's just like my my first one.

SPEAKER_03 4:20

And there's also, I'm not seeing much sign of growth or learning from this. I feel like she's just like swept it under the rug and then now just is doing like press with Chris. I'm like, girl, who is your PR person?

SPEAKER_00 4:33

The only way we grow when we're young and doing bad things is when people around us go, hey, you're being an asshole. That's true. And then we learn and we grow. The next one is that I've seen on the comment sections is oh, they only dated three months. And I've got two arguments for that. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 4:49

Okay, you want me to go in lesbian years, that's a very long time. Exactly right.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

So my first point is so in that argument, time equals amount of feeling, right? Or level of feeling, which I don't actually think a lot of people truly believe. So I because I know if Jojo and Chris got married after three months, all those people who were saying, Oh, Jojo and Kath have only been together for three months, those people, if Jojo and Chris got married after three months, would be like, oh, they knew as soon as they saw each other.

SPEAKER_03 5:24

I of course absolutely but my money is on that they won't even be friends in like, yeah, three months' time.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

I don't think they're friends now. No, neither. I think he will never respond to any of her messages ever.

SPEAKER_03 5:37

Now that she's like left the UK, I think Chris is like, thanks for the content, girl. Exactly right.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

It's not real. It's not real. Um, but these people who are like three-month relationship, um, get over it. I just know that's not really what they're saying. They're saying this lesbian, this queer person needs to get over it. Yeah, true, true. And then the second point of that is absolutely the three-month queer lady, queer person relationship is actually three years. Um and at 21.

SPEAKER_03 6:08

And at 21. Like, remember when you were in your 20s and like a relationship, you couldn't even fathom a relationship for lasting like longer than a year. And when you heard about people that had been together for that long, you were like, Wow, they're a dog. Wow, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:21

And they're practically married.

SPEAKER_03 6:23

Now I'm like, oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 6:26

I just think also in a three-month relationship, speaking about like the whole like you know, queer person relationship, three months, sure. But we also need to acknowledge that in that three months, Jojo had stated both in person and on the internet to Kath, You're the love of my life. I want to marry you. Come on. Like, if that's not gaslighting to then before it that to be like, oh well, it wasn't that serious. I'm like, certainly sounded serious before you went on Big Brother. Um, okay, next point. Yeah, please.

SPEAKER_03 6:58

I'm seated.

SPEAKER_00 6:58

It's a full essay series. Okay. Um, the next comment I'm saying is, well, she didn't really cheat.

SPEAKER_03 7:04

No, oh, emotional cheating.

SPEAKER_00 7:07

Well, I think that's dependent on whether or not you think emotional cheating is cheating. And totally fair if you don't, that is valid. Every person is different. However, you need to consider that this is a very physically intimate friendship that is being televised. True, true, true. And so I think You're right.

SPEAKER_03 7:25

Regardless of what it is, it is a bad look.

SPEAKER_00 7:28

I think the feeling of humiliation that people feel about any type of cheating is probably amplified by the fact that you're watching it and know everyone else is watching it too.

SPEAKER_03 7:38

I the bit that shited me the most about the audience reaction to it was just I just hate an opportunity for particularly straight men to be like, uh, told ya. Like, yeah, new uh particularly post-Mickey World. Yes, which uh we will get to later on when we are talking about Love Triangle, but there is a similar moment uh with one of the characters, and I was like the bowing rage I feel in most moments.

SPEAKER_00 8:08

I'm like having flashbacks, like both high school and like being in the club at 18.

SPEAKER_02 8:13

You're not really gonna be able to do it. It's like, oh you just haven't met the right man.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

I have war flashbacks, I really, really do.

SPEAKER_03 8:20

Um and also if you're gonna go for a guy, not that one. Not that one.

SPEAKER_00 8:25

Like you you want a top tier, top tier at best. If you're gonna, yeah, downgrade into heteronormativity.

SPEAKER_03 8:32

Also, what is doing with the 21-year-old? Isn't he like he's like our age, right? I think I'm not fucking hanging out with 21-year-olds, sorry, that's weird.

SPEAKER_00 8:40

That's actually I'm certainly not snuggling in bed stroking their back.

SPEAKER_01 8:45

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 8:47

Unless it's got far more of a maternal energy, which for me at 36 it absolutely would. Like, oh, she's got a fever. Um, I'm there'd have to be vapor rub in the situation. Like, there was there's no way there'd be any kind of sexual connotations there. Um, okay, so my next point um is the homophobia, specifically the lesbophobia around some of the comments, though that it's certainly not explicit, right? So let's play a little mind experiment when we're doing this. So imagine Jojo is a heterosexual male pop star.

SPEAKER_03 9:25

Well, she was for one episode where she uh did drag.

SPEAKER_00 9:29

That is true. So it's not hard to imagine at all. Um, so imagine Jojo, he enters the house in the same circumstance. He's in a committed relationship with a woman on the outside. He then engages in a friendship with a woman on the show. They constantly cuddle, hold each other, dance, become very close. There would absolutely be an uproar about that. Then as soon as he leaves the house, he breaks up with his girlfriend at the after party and pretends like he hasn't done anything wrong. I think all of those straight women in the TikTok comments, because let's be honest, all the women making these yay for Jojo and Chris. Yeah. They're mostly um heterosexual women.

SPEAKER_03 10:09

Um They're like straight love prevails.

SPEAKER_00 10:12

All of those women who were so enamoured by this relationship would absolutely hate Jojo and think he would be a complete villain. So I just think I'm not calling necessarily calling those women homophobic, no, but I do think they should reflect a little bit on um some biases going on there and maybe reflect a little bit before they, you know, enter our spaces on Saturday night because they prefer not to be around straight men, or they come to our bars because it's their hands night and they want to hang out with us. I'm like, do you actually like us? Do you actually see us as valid? Or are we just like a fun little time for you, babe?

SPEAKER_03 10:53

Oh, absolutely. And look, I mean, Jojo Siwa has never really been the poster child for our community. In fact, in fact, if anything, when she came out and did the whole like, I've invented gay pop or whatever the fuck she said, our our people were d like wanted to disown her.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

I love you so much for this because this is exactly what my next point is. Like, look, do you remember that? Everyone was like, Absolutely. She's we don't want to we don't we do not claim this person at all. Which leads me, okay. So this point is almost the only one that directly relates to Jojo's actions. Adopt the comment section. Is the statement of fuck the L. Did you say that?

SPEAKER_03 11:38

No. Oh, oh, about how she was identifying as queen.

SPEAKER_00 11:43

We are no longer lesbian.

SPEAKER_03 11:44

Yeah, which to me, duh, every 21-year-old is like interested in using that language. Yeah, that didn't shock me.

SPEAKER_00 11:51

It's almost shocking and out of date that she was like I'm a lesbian. I agree.

SPEAKER_03 11:54

I thought that was very strange. And then, but seeing the audience struggle with that concept, I was like, come on. Or people were like, oh see, she is into guys because she's not a lesbian. I'm like, oh god. I just how long have you got?

SPEAKER_00 12:06

Yeah, it's it would it's so but here's here's what it said to me in a lot of different elements is yes, like this shocking thing of like I'm queer. I'm like, I feel like a lot of people understand now like the fluidity of sexuality. It's not actually a shocking statement. I also think fuck the L is a statement that comes from such a place of ignorance to actually say that, yeah um on television. It's like, well, we can all like be whatever the fuck we want to be. But what is what do you mean by that?

SPEAKER_03 12:43

Did you watch I Kissed a Girl?

SPEAKER_00 12:45

Of course I did. Oh fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:46

I'd love to get it. Fiarenza, I'm obsessed with Fiarenza. Um Femfa Fem.

SPEAKER_02 12:50

Femme Fa Fam. Femfam.

SPEAKER_03 12:52

Amy. Oh, Amy, what a horror.

SPEAKER_02 12:53

I love Amy.

SPEAKER_03 12:54

Um where the fuck was I going with this? Oh, they had a really great conversation on that show about the fear of the word lesbian. And I thought it was fascinating. Because it's true, like a lot of my lesbian friends, they don't say it ever. No, it's not. There's like this fear of the word.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

Yeah, I didn't for years. And I I remember saying very similar things that they expressed on I Kissed a Girl was like, oh, I don't really identify with the word lesbian, I say gay. And I did for many, many years.

SPEAKER_03 13:22

And then like, yeah, as you because lesbian was like appropriated by like the male gays, wasn't it? It's very like lesbian porn, do you know what I mean? Uh as opposed to like I'm I'm in it, I'm gay, I've got a girlfriend, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 13:35

Absolutely an aspect of it. I think for me personally, it was more that gay was seemed okay. Like obviously, you know, graduating in 2006, you know, from high school and it was a different time, but like there was slowly an acceptance of being gay, whereas being a lesbian was there was something inherently masculine in that word that made me feel very uncomfortable. Um so just like you know, you get older and you unpack that like internalized homophobia and misogyny and all of that stuff, and then I was like, oh no, I absolutely love the word lesbian and use it all the time now.

SPEAKER_03 14:12

And it it does I I love it too, and I I think it, yeah, it almost like ages us because you're right, like the kids are all queer. Yeah, do you know what I mean? Which we love, but like there is a like the generation above us find that or some some of them find that word to be like triggering because it was used as a slow, which I'm all about the you know, we've clearly claimed it and whatever, but like yeah, it does kind of like age you to be like, oh I'm even yeah, being like oh I'm gay, I'm gonna gay gores.

SPEAKER_00 14:44

A homosexual like, oh, you only like one thing, boring grandpa. Yeah, absolutely. Whatever. Whatever. So good. Yeah, no, we are old. Um, yeah, so that was my thing. Just seeing her say, fuck the L just made me go, oh, she's not really a part of our community. She like obviously she is queer, yeah, but she is queer, and this is like a hot take, probably too far, and I might regret it. And I can't I do mean it, but I also don't mean it that hardcore. It's not that bad. But it's just kind of a point, is that like she is queer in the same way that like Caitlin Jenner is trans. Yes, they are those things, but they're not one of us. Like, but the thing is, like, Jojo has time to grow and educate and become a part of the community. Um, but she doesn't know anything about queerness or queer people or our culture or community.

SPEAKER_03 15:37

She's going up to like Danny Beard in the house and literally like yeah, asking like the stupidest questions. Which like it's cute. Like, you know, I did enjoy watching her learn about her own people in real time. But also then maybe don't, yeah, maybe don't claim to be like a person. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:55

I rule the queers. Anyway, I've never seen a drag show. Like it's just wild.

SPEAKER_03 16:00

And the oh the the make the face paint. Um it makes her look five again, which was when she was.

SPEAKER_00 16:08

I've just never seen a queer person with less style. You know, like it's and to be young, queer, and have no style, I think is the biggest crime out of this entire situation.

SPEAKER_03 16:21

She yeah, she needs to be investigated.

SPEAKER_00 16:25

Investigated, charged, put away.

SPEAKER_03 16:28

And Anthony Albanese, let's get her let's get her banned from the country.

SPEAKER_00 16:35

Thank you. Because I think honestly, that might be the only thing that would make me vote Labour if that was his platform.

SPEAKER_03 16:43

Oh my god. Uh

Love Triangle Season 3 Part 1 Recap

SPEAKER_03 16:44

shall we get on with the main uh the main event? Which so thank you for indulging me.

SPEAKER_00 16:50

I really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_03 16:51

Can I say so? I had a few people in my DMs being like, please recap. Love Triangle. I'd clearly seen all of the lovely advertising by Stan with Chris reunion host Chriselle, which I was like stunning.

SPEAKER_01 17:06

Chriselle really lights a fire all over my body.

SPEAKER_03 17:09

From one queer woman to another. Um and I was like, fuck it, I'll do it. Then when I found out there was six episodes in the season, I we love a succinct story. How good short and sweet.

SPEAKER_00 17:23

I don't have time to watch 75 episodes.

SPEAKER_03 17:26

Exactly. And but they managed to still condense like the good stuff, and there's no boring filler, which is why I'm loving this show.

SPEAKER_00 17:38

I'm gonna say mostly, yes. Actually, yeah, I mean there's still um like if we're gonna get into it into it right now.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

Go for it.

SPEAKER_00 17:47

I I have a little problem with the structure a little bit of the show.

SPEAKER_03 17:52

There's a structure?

SPEAKER_00 17:54

I wish there was more. Um I think in the first like one or two episodes, the texting portion, I think it needs a little bit more jazz. Ac actually make it more like the circle or something.

SPEAKER_03 18:06

Like give me some kind of visual that whole bit I was like, oh, we're doing texting. Texting now. I don't like watching people text. It's not great.

SPEAKER_00 18:17

Not unless I'm reading over the shoulder and they're in a huge fight on public transport. You know, like then I love it, but otherwise.

SPEAKER_03 18:22

But you're right, like when they're sitting around and like pretending, plus there's one bit where like one of them is up like really early, like in bed texting. I think it's Peyton. And I was like, girl, and I'm like, this is a really unflattering angle. Like, no one needs to be on television on a phone in bed.

SPEAKER_00 18:42

No, um looking at the phone. Although, if you're gonna do that, go the full like bed rot, like full double chin. It's like above your head, and you drop it on your own face, like, and you're surrounded by like last night's kebab. If you want to do that, I'm into that.

SPEAKER_03 18:57

Yeah, um so this is the third season. Have had you watched any of the other ones?

SPEAKER_00 19:02

I watched the first season, and I don't think they even had less of a rhythm then. Oh, I watched it on the side. Was there texting then? There was heaps of texting. I was like, oh, this is fine, but nothing really seemed to gel that great. Yeah, and so I was like, oh, well, there's a queer element this season, I'll jump back in. And it is it's definitely better than the colour.

SPEAKER_03 19:22

They always do. I mean, I was always gonna watch it for our girly. Yeah, so the format's a bit weird. Uh they do move swiftly on from the texting pretty quick. Quickly, though. And I'm not up to the the thirds coming in yet. Which I'm so I assume that's what happens next. Is that they bring in the others and then chaos ensues.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

Fingers crossed. Yeah, absolutely. So I just I just want to go back to the texting. I'm not over it. Uh, what's his name? Mike?

SPEAKER_03 19:52

Oh, m Mike from Maths. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

Sitting by the pool, entirely unable to have a single response to any of the messages, like crumbling within a second. I think one of the girls is flirting with him and he's like, Oh, my sitting by the pool. Uh that's his that's his message. Yeah. And she responds, like, watch out for those tan lines. And he sits there for a good 30 to 45 minutes, going, Oh, what do I um I know there's a joke in here somewhere. What should I respond? And I have to watch him go through that process. I just feel like the editing needs to be a little tighter around those those elements.

SPEAKER_03 20:28

Oh, true, true, true. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

Watching these dumb asses try to figure out how to write one response, it's quite hard.

SPEAKER_03 20:35

And I like how they run with it in the commentary. They're like, in a world where one typo can mean rejection. Like, sorry? What are we doing this now?

SPEAKER_00 20:47

It's look, it's a classic reality TV trope of like what we're doing is really serious.

SPEAKER_03 20:54

And they call it, they don't call it the experiment, because that's too 10. But they what do they call it? Like the experience or something?

SPEAKER_00 21:01

They call it something like that.

SPEAKER_03 21:02

And they keep I giggle every time.

SPEAKER_00 21:06

And there's suitas and singles, which I'm like, oh I find confusing because I can never quite remember which one is which. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:13

Um also there's a Melinda, a Marissa, and uh another one.

SPEAKER_00 21:18

Yeah. I I knew when I was like writing my notes, I was like, I'm gonna this I'm this gonna be all wrong. And the people at home are just gonna have to figure that out.

SPEAKER_03 21:26

Yeah, you're just gonna have to figure out who we're talking about, because yeah, the names through me for sure. Um let's jump into episode one. It was called Part of the Problem.

SPEAKER_01 21:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 21:36

Uh, and I'm looking at you, Bernie. We meet Bernie first in Melbourne. He oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

The type of man that makes my skin crawl immediately.

SPEAKER_03 21:45

Because he is he a man? I see a boy.

SPEAKER_00 21:47

He is a boy, you're right. I was spoken too highly.

SPEAKER_03 21:50

He's giving, yeah, like wannabe Fitzroy, like cool kid, but like it's not quite landing.

SPEAKER_00 22:01

No, with yeah, and I was about to say with absolute private schoolboy vibes, but that is the wannabe Fitzroy vibes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:08

He's got the most horrible, like chunky designer sunglasses.

SPEAKER_00 22:13

He's doing a lot. Um, he also has the the attitude of you know that classic person of someone at one stage in his life told him that he was a very funny person.

SPEAKER_03 22:24

Someone lied to him several times and told him that he was stylish.

SPEAKER_00 22:29

And I'm not saying he doesn't have any jokes, but I think he thinks he's far more charming than he is.

SPEAKER_03 22:35

He thinks he's cheeky and charming. But he's also. He's actually just a rude cunt. Like he's judgy.

SPEAKER_00 22:46

He is judgy, and what he thinks is a joke is saying something pretty sleazy and going, Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? And saying that twice.

SPEAKER_03 22:53

Or just like point blank making fun of someone that he's just met.

SPEAKER_00 22:57

Um, they're just full on like insulting women as quote unquote charm just makes me feel scary.

SPEAKER_03 23:04

He's just got a ratty vibe. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:07

I would back away slowly if he not that he would, but uh if he approached me at a bar, I'd be like great casting though.

SPEAKER_03 23:14

We we don't get many Bernies on our screens because normally they get roided beefcakes from the Gold Coast on these shows, but having a like Melbourne hipster boy who's like just as toxic, but like in a in a package that looks smoke, like I love that.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

I love that. Yes. Um certainly I know a lot of women and men in my life that have dated a Bernie. So I think he as much as Chriselle is the buy-in for me, Bernie is the buy-in for them, and I think that's great.

SPEAKER_03 23:45

And I think it was good starting with him as well because instantly I was like, oh, I'm in with this show because they're giving me a character I've not seen before. And having just finished maths, look, representation matters.

SPEAKER_00 24:00

It's yeah, exactly. And we're getting that in Bernie. I think that's really lovely.

SPEAKER_03 24:03

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, Bernie chats first with Jasmine with a Z.

SPEAKER_00 24:09

With a Z, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:10

And he's like, oh, hot girl name. He's like, already? He's already like judging every tiny thing.

SPEAKER_00 24:17

But honestly, wouldn't you though? I'd be like, that is a pretty sexy name. A Jasmine with a Z. Hello.

SPEAKER_03 24:23

Thanksgiving stripper, another. Gorge. Then he's like, oh, texting quick. Hot girl behaviour.

SPEAKER_00 24:30

Is that like is that hot girl behaviour? I don't think it is. I think if someone texts me quickly, um, because I am on the apps and I'm gonna say it probably pretty toxic myself. Um if someone texts me back immediately, I'm like, not hot girl behaviour. I'm like, what is she desperate? As someone who is genuinely desperate, me myself, um, I'm like looking for desperation in everyone else. I'm like, ill, desperation, gross. I think just given it a little time to marinate. I'm not no, I'm the desperate one, but I don't want desperation from others. Gotcha. Oh, gotcha. Because I respond immediately.

SPEAKER_03 25:03

I'm so you. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to be I'm like, hi, hi.

SPEAKER_00 25:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:09

But then if someone's like that to me, I'm like, ew.

SPEAKER_00 25:11

Like, get alive. They don't have a job. I bet they don't have a job.

SPEAKER_03 25:16

Yeah. Um then we meet Golden Retriever, Jasmine, which so back to back to Arcista Girl. Is this lesbian language that has now been appropriated by straight people?

SPEAKER_00 25:29

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 25:30

I thought so. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:32

Like black cat and gonna return.

SPEAKER_03 25:34

Can they stop stealing all of our words?

SPEAKER_00 25:36

They've stole. Although I was thinking about this the other day.

SPEAKER_03 25:38

It's like daddy.

SPEAKER_00 25:39

Yeah, entirely irrelevant.

SPEAKER_02 25:41

Fuck off.

SPEAKER_00 25:42

But lesbian culture has like appropriated like like gay male terminology for how we define ourselves now, which is a very new thing over the last like ten years. I'm like, I don't mind us swapping between each other. I think that's cute and fun. Yeah. Um yeah, but the straits taking it is a little bit freaky.

SPEAKER_03 25:59

But of course they have, and it's goes in line with just what's happening in the world at the moment. With I went to therapy once, learnt all the language, and now I'm gonna weaponize that against everyone around me and never go to therapy again. Yeah. So it's very that it's like, well, I learned the term golden cheaper. It's an attachment style.

SPEAKER_00 26:16

God, I you know what I'm saying. I hope Bernie. If Bernie ever goes to therapy, the women of Melbourne are fucked. They're all fucked. Like once that man learns therapy speak, oh the women he'll destroy.

SPEAKER_03 26:30

He's an insecure man.

SPEAKER_00 26:31

Yeah, aren't they all though, really?

SPEAKER_03 26:33

But like it's very obvious to me.

SPEAKER_00 26:37

Oh yes.

SPEAKER_03 26:37

Which is cute. Uh yeah. I really this is the one time I will say this. I really want to fuck Bernie. Yeah, no, I can tell.

SPEAKER_00 26:45

But like I can see it in your eyes.

SPEAKER_03 26:48

But only it's just I I so I love toxic men. And he's just got like such a douchey little rap vibe. Yeah. And I want to punish him. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:59

Obviously, we don't have time to unpack it on the podcast. No. But I've just with 99% of people I who I know who are attracted to men, you all love toxic men. And I just like wanna I would love to understand it at some point. We don't have to do it.

SPEAKER_03 27:14

Just in a pure objective Is it because that's all there is?

SPEAKER_00 27:17

You have to.

SPEAKER_03 27:18

That's all that yeah, pretty much. Okay, and especially on these shows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um cheeky, cheeky, cheeky, we get that word a lot, and we get uh Marissa, who is a Texan, she says, don't mess with Texas. Um, she tells us she's a party girl, she loves to party. Um, and she's a spicy Latina.

SPEAKER_00 27:40

That's right, who does sexy dance classes. I remember that. Yeah. I will say though, while I don't like Bernie as a person, I think his response to Jasmine's messages is accurate. They were the most boring messages I had ever read.

SPEAKER_03 27:55

Totally. And I loved how he was just like, ooh. Yeah. Boring. I was like, true.

SPEAKER_00 28:00

I was like, I don't like you because you're a man saying that, but I completely agree with everything you're saying.

SPEAKER_03 28:05

Yeah. And at this point, he hasn't revealed himself to be totally disgusting. Yeah. Like in the first ep, I was like, mmm.

SPEAKER_00 28:12

I was like, he's just an average. Maybe you're a nice guy in a douchebag package. But maybe, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:18

Uh then we go to the Gold Coast, and it's Mike from MAFs with the he's that's gotta be like a a tattoo on his head, right? The hairline. It's giving.

SPEAKER_00 28:30

I didn't even think about it.

SPEAKER_03 28:31

It's very distracting.

SPEAKER_00 28:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 28:35

But it's very MAFs to have like a fake hairline.

SPEAKER_00 28:38

Love that.

SPEAKER_03 28:39

Uh he holds it.

SPEAKER_00 28:40

Oh, now I won't be able to stop staring at it when I'm next episode.

SPEAKER_03 28:43

You'll be like, oh. Okay. Uh, we get a little clip package of him from being on maths, of course, because Stan is owned by Nine, and hence this. I was wondering about that.

SPEAKER_00 28:54

I'm like, I can't believe they got the rights to this. That makes total sense.

SPEAKER_03 28:57

The phone calls coming from inside the house.

SPEAKER_00 28:59

Yeah. That's a nice little ad. Um, did you watch that season of maths?

SPEAKER_03 29:03

I did. It was a long time ago though. Yeah. And he was the like breakout star in terms of like being a toxic villain. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Which we love to do.

SPEAKER_00 29:13

Yeah. Which is the only real star in maths. You know, like that's what they do.

SPEAKER_03 29:18

Well, occasionally there's one that's like beloved.

SPEAKER_00 29:22

And they get a radio show. Yeah. Yeah, gotcha.

SPEAKER_03 29:24

There's that. But you're right, we we watch it for the villains. Yes. This season there was like everyone was a villain.

SPEAKER_00 29:31

It's like the one reality show I can't watch. It makes me too angry.

SPEAKER_03 29:34

This makes me so anxious. But we do need to check in on the straights because they're not okay. Um, okay, he he assures us that he's changed his way.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

Oh, he's yeah, he's definitely.

SPEAKER_03 29:50

He's like, look, uh people said things about me online. Uh I was called a misogynist and other horrible accusations like that. It's like, yeah, where's the lie?

SPEAKER_00 30:02

Why, like, tell me, Mike, why did they say that? Why did they say that about you? And what about it was a lie?

SPEAKER_03 30:08

Yeah, look, I'm not your therapist. How many times reckon they're gonna play that?

SPEAKER_00 30:14

I hope at least 75 more times, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:16

So good. Um, and then he gives us a little whambulence, but he's like, I hope I don't get pre-judged. So I'm gonna go by Michael instead of Mike because I'm so famous that I would hate to have someone recognize me. And I was like, calm damn.

SPEAKER_00 30:32

The level of arrogance. Also, like the amount of mics I know just on my one street. I don't think anyone's gonna be like, so he's this age, his name is Mike. I know exactly who this is. Yeah, no, the one you are, man. Delusion is real.

SPEAKER_03 30:49

Yeah, he chats to get it, uh, Melissa and Melinda.

SPEAKER_00 30:55

Great.

SPEAKER_03 30:55

Could we not have just had someone change their name?

SPEAKER_00 30:58

Yeah, give him a cute nickname.

SPEAKER_03 31:00

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:01

Totally. Or Lise. Like call with them Lise. Yeah, yeah. Just for the viewers.

SPEAKER_03 31:06

Cause there was because we've just met uh Marissa and then now oh I can't. I actually I was freaking out.

SPEAKER_00 31:13

See, that's a casting issue right there.

SPEAKER_03 31:15

Yes. They do it all the time, they make people change their names. Um remember um Big Brother one year, there was like five guys all called John, and they had to like everyone had to just um he's already drawing blanks in his responses. This was hilarious. Him trying to respond to a tech message and not even being able to do that.

SPEAKER_00 31:37

Not a single thought in his head. He's like, oh and I could see that he was like panicking behind the eyes because he knew that he looked like an idiot. I did enjoy as much as I didn't want to watch that moment, I did enjoy seeing this man struggle by the pool.

SPEAKER_03 31:49

Um they knew what they were doing, they did leaving that in. Lingering on him going, Oh shit. Oh, how do you use a phone?

SPEAKER_00 31:55

Like I think they like cut away from him arming and ring. We saw an entirely different couple, and they cut back to him still by the pool, going, Oh, mmm, oh, there's a joke in here somewhere. Yeah, it's tough stuff.

SPEAKER_03 32:07

We meet Melissa, she's a beach girl, she loves the gym. I was like, oh, what a personality. And she lives at home with her family at 40. Girl.

SPEAKER_00 32:18

That's I need I need so much more information about that. So much because obviously one wants to prejudge that and go, that sounds crazy. I well and truly. But I yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:31

Too late for that.

SPEAKER_00 32:32

She's gone through a bad divorce, ex-husband and asshole, like no money, she's like building her life again. Maybe that's happening. There's like some uh there's gotta be some other issue. But then I'm like, oh, maybe it's a cultural thing, she just loves being with her family. But I also judge that a little bit as like a very kind of like white person who is like emotionally estranged from her family. I'm like, we we can't connect. And did if you're in love with your family, we can't connect.

SPEAKER_03 32:57

And she tells him this in the text, which I was like, girl, what sorry?

SPEAKER_00 33:02

She's living out loud.

SPEAKER_03 33:04

I would not be putting that in the text chat. I would that would be like date three, I'd be like, oh, I live with my parents. Only if I was asked.

SPEAKER_00 33:15

I think if this show didn't guarantee her getting whether she gets chosen or not, getting on the TV show down the road, she would not have mentioned it. Yeah, but she knows even if she doesn't get chosen, she was gonna get some TV time.

SPEAKER_03 33:29

Understandably, Mike is a bit concerned about that, but um, he leaves the chat there for now. And then we meet Melinda who has daughters, which he's into. Yeah, he's like, Oh, I'm gonna do it.

SPEAKER_00 33:41

I can't wait to be the stepdad.

SPEAKER_03 33:43

What did he say? Something he's like, oh, you know, when they've got cutes, maturity. And I'm like, no, you just want to be mothered.

SPEAKER_00 33:50

Oh, that's so true. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 33:51

When he said that, I was like, you want a full yeah, you want like a trad wife.

SPEAKER_00 33:56

Oh god. Yeah, no, you're absolutely right about that.

SPEAKER_03 34:01

Then we go to Sydney and we meet bisexual diva Chloe.

SPEAKER_00 34:05

Chloe, here she is.

SPEAKER_03 34:06

Look, if Jojo was bad enough, Chloe's really setting the movement back. Uh sorry, girl. If I she's go on, I want you to unpack it. She's only on this show, so she can go, yeah. Look, um, I don't see gender. Like.

unknown 34:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:25

I don't even I don't even care. I don't even think about it.

SPEAKER_00 34:27

But it is like marked as revolutionary that she does not want to know the gender of the people she's texting. They mentioned it 33 times. She is so proud of her child.

SPEAKER_03 34:36

She thinks she is like the coolest person in the world.

SPEAKER_00 34:39

They said the revolution would not be televised. It is. It is being televised.

SPEAKER_03 34:43

Hello, what's up? She's smashing the fucking gender norms. But yeah, she loves telling us that. She's like, I'm actually really evolved being and I don't see gender. So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna have the names uh redacted, and then she proceeds to guess their gender. She's like, it's like a fucking reverse gender reveal party.

SPEAKER_00 35:06

Um, well, this one's into blue love heart.

SPEAKER_03 35:10

She's like, uh training. Like, she's like interrogating their occupations and making like gender-based assumptions.

SPEAKER_00 35:17

I've got a dick. Like, it's so weird.

SPEAKER_03 35:20

I screamed. I was like, you are a fucking terrorist. What are you doing, Chloe?

SPEAKER_00 35:27

To be fair though, all she says is that they have masculine energy.

SPEAKER_03 35:31

Oh, please. She was like, this one's got a dick.

SPEAKER_00 35:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:37

But whatever. I do love I actually kind of love her. Because she's because she's the messian. And she's hard.

SPEAKER_00 35:45

Here's what I love is just how messy she is, is because she is on this show because she got dumped and dumped in a really horrible way two weeks ago. And she's like, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm going to go on stan.com and type in my little application to be on reality TV.

SPEAKER_03 36:03

And then they got her on two weeks later. Do you know who they should have put on this show? Kath. Kath could have been one of the suitors for Chloe.

SPEAKER_00 36:11

I think they need to like quickly make the next season. Yeah. Because Kath needs to be on it. Kath needs to be the star of season four. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. I'm very into that. The next bachelor season, Kath. Fuck yes. I'm I'm auditioning. Actually, pull that up. I'm auditioning. That'd be great.

SPEAKER_03 36:29

For Kath's heart.

SPEAKER_00 36:32

Would do.

SPEAKER_03 36:33

Amazing. Oh, so she doesn't want to know the gender of the suitors, but then also absolutely does.

SPEAKER_00 36:38

Yeah, genders them immediately.

SPEAKER_03 36:40

She's obsessed with it. I'm like, if you really didn't care, none of this would even be. It wouldn't be a conversation. It would literally just be like, oh cool.

SPEAKER_00 36:47

Like whatever. I do love a woman who's like, oh, I love the fact that this person has a house. And I was like, I think she does. In this economy, that would be my first question. Property owner? Hello. A job and a house?

SPEAKER_03 37:03

That is actually really bleak.

SPEAKER_00 37:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:05

But yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:06

I mean, you gotta do what you gotta do.

SPEAKER_03 37:08

She talks to E and B. Um, and yeah, straight out the gate, she's like, guys, I've got a huge bombshell that's gonna rock your world because no one's ever said this before, but I am actually bisexual. Oh my god. What are they gonna say? Are they gonna hate me? I'm like. I was like, well, clearly, one of these people you're talking to is also queer at a minimum.

SPEAKER_00 37:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:35

I don't think they're gonna care.

SPEAKER_00 37:37

It would be a wild casting choice in 2025 that they only got her two straight men.

SPEAKER_03 37:43

Imagine if that I actually would have loved this show if they did that. If they were like, sorry, girl. We got a bisexual girl on so that we could give her two toxic straight men. I would like to.

SPEAKER_00 37:55

Just to show her how bad it is out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:58

Oh fuck jeez. They do say that a lot of this show. Like, it's bad out there. Oh, dating.

SPEAKER_00 38:04

Modern dating is really single people, kill yourself. Yeah, it's pretty much what they should do.

SPEAKER_03 38:10

They pretty much say that, yeah. In a world where dating is full of rejection.

SPEAKER_00 38:16

Dating is worse than death.

SPEAKER_03 38:17

Yeah, yeah. She's worried she'll scare them both away. And I'm like, shut up. With her bisexuality, yeah, it's very funny. Anyway, and of course, surprise, surprise, they're into it. Actually, it'd be really funny if one of them was like, oh, gross.

SPEAKER_01 38:29

Just immediately blocked. Just yeah, blocked.

SPEAKER_00 38:32

This contact is no longer available.

SPEAKER_03 38:34

Or just like full like bi erasure. Yeah. Someone's like, well, that's not real. Yeah. Vomit emoji, vomit emoji.

SPEAKER_00 38:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:43

She's vibing with B, who is works in fashion. Oh, so she met maybe she's female.

SPEAKER_00 38:50

Maybe she's a gay man. Like fashion.

SPEAKER_03 38:53

That would have been great if they just gave her a gay man.

SPEAKER_00 38:55

A gay man is a best friend. Cute. I'd watch that.

SPEAKER_03 38:58

I would watch that. Back to uh Bernie in Melbourne. Uh he's been up late, like sexy texting with Marissa about her sensual dancing. This was a bit icky because it was like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 39:13

Because he's just telling us that he was like typing in Jack and Off last night. I was like, okay, cool. They pretty much just did that. Yeah. Um he looked directly down the lens at me personally and told me that he jacked off and I felt uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_03 39:27

Exactly. Uh he asks Marissa for a date. In Sid I love a casual question. Do you want to go for a date in Sydney? Like, okay. It's like, but but neither of us live there.

SPEAKER_00 39:42

I think they were asked to go to Sydney.

SPEAKER_03 39:45

But I thought we could just do our first date in Sydney with cameras. Yeah, love that. Weird that they have to do that because at the start they're all just in their hometowns, but I guess it's because they do the like dinner parties.

SPEAKER_00 39:56

Yes, it's very important that everything takes place in Sydney.

SPEAKER_03 39:59

Yeah, but I also like that they uh all got booked in like varying uh Airbnbs. Like some of them are quite chicken, some of them are like absolutely trash. It's like loving that.

SPEAKER_00 40:10

I wonder how they determine who gets what Airbnb. Like it is it depending like what they want that character proj to project.

SPEAKER_03 40:17

I don't know. And if you're lucky, one of the producers will come and sit in sit on your bed.

SPEAKER_00 40:24

Or kind of wait for that episode. Come on.

SPEAKER_03 40:26

I know. Oh my god. Uh back to Mike. Uh he likes the mum, he's going with Melinda. So this is the you I think this they could have tightened. It was like just pick one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:37

Like I like, yeah. I need one scene where they text me back and forth and then they decide. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 40:43

But he freaks out about the visual of a watermelon being crushed between her thighs. This was so strange.

SPEAKER_00 40:52

The amount of airtime they gave to it though was straight.

SPEAKER_03 40:55

Phenomenal. I was like, You loved it. He was like, Watermelon crushing a woman, a woman with th thighs stronger than mine.

SPEAKER_00 41:05

I just can't stop thinking about it.

SPEAKER_03 41:06

I don't want to be a watermelon.

SPEAKER_00 41:08

No. I the amount that he was talking about it, because he's like, you know, I see those women at the gym, and I was like, I've never wanted to be with one of those women. The amount that you are thinking about it, I think you do want to be with those women. I think you are very excited by the prospect that your head might be a watermelon.

SPEAKER_03 41:23

I might be crushed within the therm grip. I'm not gonna lie, I I thought it was hot.

SPEAKER_00 41:29

I agree.

SPEAKER_03 41:30

If I got a text that was like, my thighs can crush watermelon, I'd be like, here's the address.

SPEAKER_00 41:34

I get a little tingle, absolutely. Let's get it happening.

SPEAKER_03 41:37

But he's very he's fragile masculinity, is very threatened by this. He's like, I'll be doing the watermelon crushing around here.

SPEAKER_00 41:44

I lift the weights in this home.

SPEAKER_03 41:46

Exactly. Um they meet up, and it's so oh, so we need to talk about my favourite thing that this show does on the first dates where a random person walks past and they're and they awkwardly awkwardly look at them and then they get rejected, and they're like, that's handshaking and the like the hair swap. It's like not me. And each time it's so obvious that it's like a paid member.

SPEAKER_00 42:14

Absolutely it is. I'm like, this is nice touch. Look, this show has its own unique trope, and it is that one. And I but next season I want at least like every person has at least three people to go past. Like, I want like some like a clown on a bike to go past. Like, I just want like it to be more and more observed.

SPEAKER_03 42:32

I want to be one of the people like where do I apply to be a person that walks past but is not the suitor?

SPEAKER_00 42:39

And I want them to think that it's me. That's what I want. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:43

Honestly, it's so fucking crazy. Uh they meet, he goes, Oh, look, I'm not gonna lie, the watermelon threw me.

SPEAKER_00 42:50

Threw me off.

SPEAKER_03 42:51

And then he goes, Um, can I just ask a question? Oh god. I don't remind you of anyone, do I?

SPEAKER_00 42:57

Yes, he says that, and then he says it 15 more times.

SPEAKER_03 43:00

He's like, like, I'm not I don't remind you of anyone from like, I don't know, a math season in like 2021 or whenever the fuck it was. And she's like, No, you look like a bald man.

SPEAKER_00 43:13

It's like this poor woman, it's so awkward how many times he says. He's like, Do I remind you of someone? She's like, No, like that's the first time. And then he brings it up again and she's like, No. I mean, I feel like she gets paranoid. She's like, Do I know this man? Am I related to this man? What's going on? Is he like my secret loss of uncle? Yeah. So tell me. Such a weirdo move. He is a weirdo though.

SPEAKER_03 43:39

Over to Chloe. Um my god, E owns a house. Saloon.

SPEAKER_00 43:45

Property.

SPEAKER_03 43:46

Uh, but she decides on B and gives a voice note. Uh the voice note, I was like, we didn't need that. Um let's see who it is. So another this stranger was great. It was a man that came up and said, excuse me, um, where can I find Central Station? And I love it. Loved her response. She goes, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 44:13

I genuinely laughed a lot at that. I thought that was great. It was amazing. He looked so lost and confused. He was like that man needed help. And now he's on an episode of Love Triangle, which I love so much.

SPEAKER_03 44:26

Then we meet Beck. Thoughts on Beck.

SPEAKER_00 44:30

I am so physically attracted to Beck that I almost can't have an opinion without it being so biased. She walked up and I was like, this is gonna be a problem. This is gonna be a problem for me. It's gonna be a problem for Chloe. She's so hot. Yep, yep, yep. I will say though, I don't love if someone asks you, Am I your usual type? And you have any intention of actually like having anything with them, don't say no. No. Just like, oh, I don't really have a type. That's what you say. You don't confirm their worst nightmare. Like, yeah, I'm usually not attracted to people that look like you. Yeah. That's not the way to go. It's no way to start a conversation.

SPEAKER_03 45:10

Yeah. And this continues Chloe's obsession with gender and role. Like gender roles. Like, because she's like, she's so focused on it. She's like, I'm getting stem vibes from um Beck. And then she's like wondering whether she's because she's like, obviously, I'm really feminine. Yeah. Uh Beck's more masculine.

SPEAKER_02 45:32

And Beck's a bit more masculine. Stem vibes. Stem vibes. I just learned that word last week.

SPEAKER_03 45:39

Um then she asks, Am I your type? And Becky's like, No, I'm actually usually into mask.

SPEAKER_00 45:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:48

She's not femme for femme.

SPEAKER_00 45:50

She's not femme for femme. Yeah, I look, that's that's hard. That's hard to hear. Um, I just don't think you should ever say it. Just like, I don't have a time.

SPEAKER_03 45:59

I agree.

SPEAKER_00 46:00

There's a way to Well, you say it if you have no intention of ever dating them. You're like, oh no, thank you. True, true. And then you walk away and let a, I don't know, find another stranger on Sydney. I'm sure one will walk up in two seconds. Um, yeah. But otherwise, just keep that to yourself, I think.

SPEAKER_03 46:15

I genuinely have no idea what's gonna happen with these two, and I'm so I'm so excited to find out. Like, I'm gagging to finish this show so I can find out what happens with them. Because I'm assuming it's chaos.

SPEAKER_00 46:28

Because I release it up to episode four when the third comes in. Um, yeah, and I think you'll get what you want. Okay, great.

SPEAKER_03 46:35

You'll get what you want. Uh on Bernie's date with Texas, as I'm gonna call it, they seemingly make out straight away. Which was Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:44

They're like horny too. They're horny, yes. I'm not gonna lie, I was like vibe with them. I was aroused. I was like, yeah, if you're feeling it, guys, go for it.

SPEAKER_03 46:52

But I feel like that's all that there is here. It's like a slight physical attraction and nothing else.

SPEAKER_00 46:58

Because that's all the text messages were. And Bernie was like, I I think like we've got like a really cool connection. I'm like, you guys were just like describing, I don't know, fucking each other over text.

SPEAKER_03 47:08

Like, of course you're then he like hates her American accent. It's like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 47:12

Well that's things like I think he's horny for her, but I do think he absolutely hates her.

SPEAKER_03 47:16

And then, of course, she's been holding a bombshell. And then he goes, This other was really weird. He's like, Oh, you've got a kid, and I'm like, Oh, dude, like you're not supposed to-exactly, but you're not supposed to cut her off and say it.

SPEAKER_00 47:32

Let her say it, and then yeah, it's not like an improv game. Like, oh, I guess it, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:38

Also, it's such an overdone trope on reality TV, and I actually am bored of it.

SPEAKER_00 47:42

Like, the secret single mum?

SPEAKER_03 47:44

Just oh, I've got a kid, I wonder how they're gonna write. They did it on MAFs this year with Adrian and Athena, and it was like it was actually horrible to watch by the end because she was really upfront about it from the start, and he was just totally stringing her along the whole time, being like, Oh, maybe I could do that, but then telling us in confessional, I don't want to fucking kid.

SPEAKER_00 48:04

That is so depressing.

SPEAKER_03 48:06

Just sticking around for the airtime. It was like, ugh. That's so I'm getting those vibes from this, and to that I'm like, whatever. But I love he's like, Oh, nine years old.

SPEAKER_00 48:16

What what I found fascinating about that scene was yeah, so she reveals that um she is a mother, god forbid, and he goes, Oh, I just like didn't get that vibe from you. You seem so youthful. And I was like, She didn't reveal to you that she was secretly the old woman from Titanic, she said she had a child. Like, yes, mothers can also be youthful, believe it or not.

SPEAKER_03 48:41

You don't look like you've been tarnished by pregnancy, like fucking dragged through the mud for 75 years.

SPEAKER_00 48:48

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 48:49

You weren't wearing that cone on your head, said I'm old grosses with child. Yeah, exactly. Episode two is called Baggage, and we meet uh Ariana and Peyton, who are the final two uh singles. Yes. And boy, Ari is 29 from Melbourne. She's Serbian and Greek. Um, I was getting like I really wanted to like her at this at this moment.

SPEAKER_00 49:21

Oh, you don't like her?

SPEAKER_03 49:22

I don't think I do, no. I I really wanted to. I was like, she seems like a fun girly in the office, she's like in the comms team, you know, and she's like, ah, she's like loud and she loves a wine. Good for a goss, yeah. Loves a goss.

SPEAKER_00 49:36

And she hates the boss.

SPEAKER_03 49:38

But then as time goes on with her, I'm just finding her to be a little bit like basic. In an annoying, like conservative way.

SPEAKER_00 49:48

Okay, that's interesting.

SPEAKER_03 49:50

She also expects too much from this show. In a and like genuinely, I like there's the there's two types of people that go on these shows, right? The airtime hungry tigers and the Lulu people that genuinely want to find love, and that's a bit sad. And I think she's that.

SPEAKER_00 50:05

I I agree. I think as soon as she said that she has quite a a strict timeline about having a baby, and she's going on live tri love triangle. I'm like, oh no.

SPEAKER_03 50:19

I just want more for her. I want her to realize that she just needs to like look inward and like love herself, and she doesn't need a man to do that. Do you know what I mean? I want to like real talk with her.

SPEAKER_00 50:30

Yes, I I do think that I see what you're saying about like the kind of basic conservativeness of it. But I also think when given the right challenge, she'll step up and actually be like a total fucking badass.

SPEAKER_03 50:45

Also, how are you not fucking this man? Because he is insanely hot. Yeah, it's true. I would have just first night I would have been like, let's do this, let's fucking go.

SPEAKER_00 50:55

He's very beautiful, he's gorgeous. Yeah, and that gorgeous New Zealand accent, like that's a that's a lesson for that.

SPEAKER_03 51:03

I oh yeah, I mean, I can't wait for him to reveal that he's a complete piece of shit later on.

SPEAKER_00 51:10

But for now, you gotta enjoy it while you can with like men on these types of shows because if they're like fine, you'll be like, Okay, I'm gonna relish this for as long as I can because you will be an arsehole next episode or whatever it is. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 51:22

And she just annoys me later as well when she's like, I need the man to make the first move, but then like turns him down, like he like he tried to, and she turns it down. And she's like, Why isn't he like throwing you up against the wall?

SPEAKER_00 51:36

So sad when you see women who are like you can see like inherent strength there, yeah, and then putting themselves in like these weird cages where they can't just do whatever the fuck they want. It's so bizarre. That's so weird.

SPEAKER_03 51:46

So her suitors are Nuri, who we've just discussed. Hottie, hottie, hottie. Um fuck, so hot. Uh she hates vegans, which I was like, okay.

SPEAKER_00 51:56

Yeah, that's a strong take. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 51:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:59

And that's But if you can't invite them over to like family dinner, I get it.

SPEAKER_03 52:02

I get it. She does that as her kind of like icebreaker, which I was like, okay. It's better than which day of the week are you? Which Peyton does later. And to that I say, fuck off.

SPEAKER_00 52:14

I did think about it quite seriously though.

SPEAKER_03 52:16

Go on. No, I was just What day are you?

SPEAKER_00 52:19

I do think I'm I because I think I I feel like a Wednesday. I think I present as a Thursday.

SPEAKER_03 52:26

Ooh, what's a Wednesday? That's hump day. No one likes Wednesday.

SPEAKER_00 52:31

So that's how I feel about myself. I feel like a Wednesday. Like hump day, a bit shit, a bit boring. But I think like I'm Thursday, like a little bit serious still, but there's like there is some fun there, and you can start to relax. Yeah. But I just think people see me as a Thursday.

SPEAKER_03 52:46

I think I'm aggressively a Sunday because I like to think I'm chill, but I'm actually incredibly anxious.

SPEAKER_00 52:53

Yeah, stressful, yeah. I love that.

SPEAKER_03 52:54

Because Sunday is the most anxiety. It really is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:57

It's when you start realizing that maybe all your decisions were wrong in life and you are not happy.

SPEAKER_03 53:02

Absolutely. But on the surface, you're like, it's Sunday, take it easy.

SPEAKER_00 53:07

Take it easy, babe. Yeah. Enjoy this brunch while you can.

SPEAKER_03 53:11

Sam is messy. So Sam goes he's like starting shit. I like look, A for like television moments, Sam, but also, did you want to get picked? Because you're not going to get picked doing this. He's like, You can't produce that early.

SPEAKER_00 53:27

Yeah, you can't produce yourself that early. You've got to like become endearing and then start producing.

SPEAKER_03 53:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:32

Um, but yeah, like full like I respect I respect it a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 53:36

So it was an easy choice for her. Even though there was a was it a 10-year age difference between the two or five or something?

SPEAKER_00 53:41

Either way, it was too much. For a woman who wants to have a baby very soon. You don't date a 26-year-old man who looks like that.

SPEAKER_03 53:47

That oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 53:48

You just don't know. That's you're hurting yourself. That's self-harm at that point.

SPEAKER_02 53:52

Actually, it is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 53:54

And our final single is Peyton, who, oh my god, like I'm gonna say it.

SPEAKER_00 54:00

I love Peyton. Obsessed.

SPEAKER_03 54:01

I love her facial expressions. Amazing. She's also like this seemingly like most normal person on this show, I will say. Yes. And she doesn't seem to be, I don't know, yeah, producing herself. Because she's yeah, she's doing these facial expressions. But I feel like I mean, I don't feel like I know they have fucking stitched her up. They've given her two absolute, like insane people, like serial killers. They always do this, and they always do it to the nice girl. And I hate it. They did it on MAFs this season with what was it, Tim and Katie, and she was like mortified because they gave her literally like the worst man ever.

SPEAKER_00 54:40

It's so it's every single time that, and this speaks to things that we'll see a bit later, but they yeah, give that girl who is nice, funny, actually like the fucking catch of the season, yeah, but who was also like, God forbid, curvy, and give her the absolute biggest pieces of shit. I literally was like it.

SPEAKER_03 54:59

I literally was like, here we go, get ready for Peyton to get like abused by every single time.

SPEAKER_00 55:06

Like, I always want to sit down every single Australian producer, reality TV producer, and be like, what are we doing? What the fuck? Why do we keep doing this? It's bullshit. It is bullshit.

SPEAKER_03 55:14

And she's a tradeie, which I love.

SPEAKER_00 55:16

She's a tradey and she's fucking hot.

SPEAKER_03 55:17

She is hot. Yeah. I was I was into her. Um sh what day is she?

SPEAKER_00 55:23

What day is she? It's an important question.

SPEAKER_03 55:27

She asks Jordan, he's a Thursday.

SPEAKER_00 55:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:31

He's a sporty guy. And I think he's like one of those like starlight captains or something, or he just dresses up as a superhero and goes to children's playgrounds and just like harasses children. I don't know which like I don't know if he's like a sanctioned sh entertainer or for like kids' parties or what.

SPEAKER_00 55:53

It's like costume.

SPEAKER_03 55:54

Hide your kids from this man. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:55

Either way, um, if he is a part of Starlight, it's obviously a very noble thing to do. But he is a fucking weirdo. He's a weirdo, and I'm gonna say it's a loser.

SPEAKER_03 56:05

Fucking not okay. He's not okay. No, he's not okay. And like we need eyes on Peyton. Like it yeah, I fear for her life.

SPEAKER_00 56:13

Peyton's fine. We need eyes on him, because whatever woman he's with now, hopefully none of them.

SPEAKER_03 56:19

Also, they gave us this like clip package of him without showing his face, and everything else at this point. I was like, oh. Because I know I like I like a husky, hairy man. So I was like, ooh, this is I'm seeing a beard, I'm seeing a bit of belly. I was like, I'm into this guy.

SPEAKER_00 56:37

Got those big eyes, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 56:39

But then then when we meet him later, I was like, oh no, oh no, I've made a terrible mistake.

SPEAKER_00 56:44

You see that haircut, and you know what he is immediately.

SPEAKER_03 56:49

Girl. Yeah. Run.

SPEAKER_02 56:50

There's a lot going on.

SPEAKER_03 56:52

Oh my god, but before she really jumped out on Jordan, then whatever. She also gets a voice message from Dante. Okay, so Dante, to make matters worse, her other option is someone that literally like did a fucking Mrs. Doubtfire bit. That's on the phone.

SPEAKER_00 57:11

Was one of the most insane things I've ever heard in my life.

SPEAKER_03 57:15

I was like, you are cooked, mate.

SPEAKER_00 57:18

What was the thought process of like, okay, this girl's gonna call me? Because obviously he knows the producers have told him he needs to be prepared for that. He knows, and he's like, I'm going to do this. What does he think she's going to do in response? She's gonna go, oh, how funny. He's so quirky, he's so much fun. He does character acting.

SPEAKER_03 57:37

Oh like, are you kidding me?

SPEAKER_00 57:40

It like they gave her two men who like their whole personality, seemingly at this point from what we know, are bits.

SPEAKER_03 57:47

They're bit, they're both doing bits, they're like bits, guys. They're like really giving yeah, like YouTube channel.

SPEAKER_00 57:57

Circuit 2006. Like, my god. Honey, yeah, it's like Shane Dawson level humour. What's going on? It's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 58:08

Poor Ari on her date, she gets ghosted by Sam, um, which is a word that straight people use too much. Um, and he's pulled out, which I love this, but it also feels incredibly set up. But I loved watching her spiral.

SPEAKER_00 58:23

Yeah, that was good.

SPEAKER_03 58:24

It was great when she was like, oh no, I'm totally fine. It's fine, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 58:27

I mean, think of it just like it's happened again.

SPEAKER_03 58:31

I'm a love of it.

SPEAKER_00 58:33

I was like, I wish he crashed out that hard though. That's what I need.

SPEAKER_03 58:36

I like then as well. She like goes to the toilet with the producer and they just have this shot of like a fucking like toilet door.

SPEAKER_00 58:44

It's very serious, and them chatting love that they love an off-camera moment, even if it is absolutely nothing.

SPEAKER_03 58:51

Yeah, because it just makes it feel like behind the scenes, yeah, behind the scenes because they're not even talking about anything classes. Uh, and then I love she's like, oh well, I'll just text Nuri who's the hot young boy. So she's like, oh, she's like, and then she says, What's the worst that can happen? And I was like, Don't say that.

SPEAKER_00 59:10

Honestly, I got I got really excited. I got grief bumps when she said that. I was like, something's about to happen.

SPEAKER_03 59:17

Pause on that.

SPEAKER_00 59:19

Can't wait to flash back to that in episode five. Who knows? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 59:24

Um, Peyton uh calls Dante, although we've talked about that. Her facial expressions during that were amazing. Um Ari has a date with Nuri and he actually rocks up.

SPEAKER_00 59:36

Yes, and he's gorgeous.

SPEAKER_03 59:37

He is stunning, and she's actually she's actually speechless.

SPEAKER_00 59:42

She really is.

SPEAKER_03 59:42

As I would be if they put that man in front of me. I'd be like, can I fuck him now? Uh yeah, he's gorgeous. He's got this little sparkle in his eye.

unknown 59:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:52

Which is very cute. I liked his confidence. I and it didn't come across as like in a gross way. I was like, oh, if he seems like a nice guy. Can I say? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:02

I'm so attracted to Kiwis. Yeah. Kiwi men are gorgeous. And they've just got this kind of like, yeah, it's like a quiet confidence. Yeah. It's not as douchey as Aussie guys.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:12

It's a little bit more like a dash of gentleman that Aussie guys don't seem to have. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:17

But he also is wearing a little pearl necklace.

unknown 1:00:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:21

Which to me is the international symbol for douchey straight bro.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:25

I do also think he's got some really terrible fashion choices throughout this, from what I've seen of the season so far. Like really bad.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:32

He doesn't need to wear any clothes. That's true.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:35

In fact, clothes do him a disservice anyway. They do. That was kind of hot.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:39

He was cocky on this date in a way that I was very attracted by. Like he was like, What did he say? Oh, got some tattoos. Oh, I'm gonna have to go exploring ladder. And she was she was like not having it, but I was like, that's hot.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:52

That is hot. That's nice. I just appreciate his like touching of the leg. It was I was like they were vibe.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:59

I think she was uncomfortable. This is and this is my issue with Ari. I think she's very conscious of the cameras. She's like, I'm a good Greek girl, yeah, I can't kiss on the first date. I'm like, you fucking do. You're just not doing it because you're on camera. I reckon. I think she wants to come across like she's this good girl. I'm like, come on, Ari.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:17

I just think like if you are like slathered in body glitter, I want to see you fuck this man. Yeah what I mean? Like with that dress and he's like touching your thigh. I'm like, I I per you don't have to do what you don't want to do, obviously. I want the that would be really hot. Give me something, please. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:37

Oh my god. Uh Peyton meets Jordan. Oh my god. And this oh my god. He rocks up with a book of notes of everything she's ever said to him. Weird. Which I was like, I was like, turn around and run right now.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:54

He thought it'd be charming.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:56

He has no vibe. He speaks like a serial killer. There's like no eye contact happening. It's creepy.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:04

He makes me so uncomfortable, I think. He's like thinking that he is perpetually a 14-year-old class clown. That's what he's doing. Like, that's not the vibe on a date.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:16

Anyone that's like, oh, I'm a bit of a Peter Pan, never really grew up. I'm like, do you know who else said that? Michael Jackson.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:23

And I don't want to fuck Michael Jackson. Um yeah, no, gross, gross, gross. Like she I feel really bad for Peyton in that moment because she knows that she effed up.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:33

But I feel really good for us because we get to see it. More abuse.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:38

Um, maybe not that's another daft.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:43

He's definitely got someone tied up in his basement currently.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:47

And you just know he projects the energy of a man who does not see himself clearly and only like punches. You know what I mean? Like he's he thinks that he can he thinks if Jessica Alba was in a bar that she would approach him. Exactly. And he I just need men like that to know that they are delusional. Fucking ethnic enough? Yeah, the use of the word ethnic by Jordan is crazy insane. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:16

And he thought he was not like on camera at that point, which I love. Um but like it's between that or Mrs. Doubtfire, so like what are you gonna take?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:26

Back to a really good point. Back to what do you do?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:30

Uh yeah, so on Ari and Nuri's Day, she's slamming on the brakes. Um and then we get all the couples moving in together. This was awkwardly edited, it was just kind of like here they go. I was like, I want more. I wanted more. I thought that was like a big milestone moment. I wanted to see that.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:52

It should be.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:53

But it just kind of whizzed through anyway.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:56

Like, I I fully want to see like the first dinner. Like, I want to like feel like I'm living there with them.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:04

Bernie makes fun of Marissa's accent. So rude. And her coffee order, and like everything. I was like, is this like a negging? It absolutely is.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:12

This is someone who doesn't have anything actually to say, and so all they do is like point out the things that the other person is doing, but in a jokey way, and they're like, I'm just a funny guy having fun. It's like, yeah, oh, you don't have an original thought in your goddamn brain. Yeah, go off.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:28

I love so then we get Peyton and Jordan moving in together. And Peyton is it I love they kind of just cut straight into it with no context. It's her looking terrified, her being like, So confused, how do I get out of here? She's like, I made a huge mistake.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:42

Um Peyton is like the people's princess of this show. Like she every reaction she's giving, I am at home doing the same thing. I was like, Yeah, this guy is a weirder. And she's like, How are we gonna do this for three weeks?

SPEAKER_03 1:04:57

And he's like, months.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:59

And she's just like slowly backing away out of his bedroom as he's unpacking, and he's like, Oh, should we do it together? She's like, Oh, I I thought you could do it alone, and he just somehow traps her into this experience while he's taking out all his props for his prop comedy. Bizarre. Bizarre.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:17

Uh then we get Mike and Melinda, and uh oh, she's Googled him because the producers have told her to, and I love this. She's like, So I've I know who you are now. Congratulations. I'm aware. I'm aware. Um, but then the best part of this was the conversation around being a gym asshole. I'm so glad you brought this up.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:40

This was um the way they were so serious about this.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:45

I was like, who the fuck I was like so weird.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:48

Well, this is what is interesting about the Mike and Melinda, is that uh sure. Yep. Um the MM dynamic that's going on is that so Mike usually traditionally in one of these shows would be the asshole, and then you have the poor suffering woman that has to deal with him. It's interesting with Melinda. I'm just gonna lean into that. That that's her name. Yeah. Is that she also gives assholes. Totally.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:13

No, she she's truly an arsehole too.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:15

She is pedantic about this gym situation, the put the not taking off of the weights. That is crazy.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:22

Put your weights away. It's shed space.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:25

And he's like, oh yeah, no, I kind of can see your point, and she can't let it go. What is your life? You did this seven years ago, and I think that makes you an asshole forever.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:34

But that over everything else, like not him just being a total misogynist, but any like you're a gym asshole. I can't believe you would do that.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:41

Like, well, it's it harks back to their first date where she's like, Are you a messy person? Yeah. Are you a messy person? He's like, No, no, she's like, Yeah, good, because I can't stand messy people. I'm like, Oh no, no, she's she's not. I think she might have a lot of energy, but yeah, I don't think is good for Mike, and I also don't think would be good for me.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:59

She's like, How am I ever gonna be able to crush watermelon between my thighs when there's gym assholes not and mess everywhere? I was dying. Uh, over to Beck and Chloe having a pajama party date night. This was cute.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:15

This was cute in a way that um feels like a G-rated, like lesbian romance film from the 2000s that I would have been obsessed with as a teenager. It's very cute, not particularly sexy. No, but I also I get why Chloe's doing it because Beck obviously doesn't seem to be very attracted to her. Yeah. So you don't want to be, weirdly enough, women don't want to be like feel like predators or seem as predators. So we go about it the cutesy way and not the sexy. I'm gonna make you feel safe.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:48

Yeah, it was cutesy, yeah. Being like it's a pajama pattern. It's like sleepover club. I used to love that show. It was um yeah, it was giving sleepover club for sure.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:56

But I feel bad for Chloe because I would want to fuck Beck as well. And not being able to would be hard to live with, yeah. Totally. It'd be really hard.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:05

But there's no vibes though, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:07

There isn't. I think Chloe is genuinely attracted to Beck. Yeah, I don't think Beck is interested. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:15

I think Beck was like, damn. I wanted a cute best friend.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:21

Yeah, she did want a black cat.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:23

Beck at Bernie and Marissa. Uh she basically calls him out. She's like, You like nature chill. And then he does apologize kinda for insulting her earlier, but it's just kind of awkward, and she's like, Well, you're just not really that mature. Which I was I love that she just called that out. I was like, fuck yeah. Um and then he's like, I am mature, I'm just silly, I'm cheeky.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:47

I'm just a silly boy.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:48

Silly boy.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:49

Yeah, I'm glad that she called him out, being like, because obviously you couldn't live with that for a week of him constantly just being like jokes, jokes, jokes that aren't funny. Exactly. Um, that would be annoying. So she did the right thing, being like, Okay, this is how I feel about it. And he's what was shocking to me is like he seemed really receptive. And he's like, You're absolutely right. Yeah, I won't do that anymore. Thank you so much for bringing it up to me. Exactly. Little do we know he was absolutely full of shit and was going to resent her for the rest of his life about it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:15

Episode three is called He Said She Said. Thomas Great. This is great. Love that we're getting, yeah, everyone together. Love at dinner party. This is like we've arrived.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:26

Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:28

We start with Mike and Melinda, and this editing was fantastic. This was like Bravo level of like true crime documentary.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:36

The sound design was next level. I was like, oh, I can feel it in my bones, the drama.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:41

So good. It was like something went down last year. It was like 24 hours earlier.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:45

I love a timestamp in a reality show. I was like, oh, this is good stuff. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:49

Mike tells the story from his side first. He's like, I um went for a walk. It's a very convoluted story. I'm like, Mike, get to the get to the I went for a walk because you know I like to go on walks.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:00

I asked Melinda if she wanted to go with me. Yeah. She declined the offer and decided to stay home. I was like, okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:07

And at this point, I'm like, where is this going?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:10

I'm like, is she dead?

SPEAKER_03 1:10:11

Did you get murdered on the walk? Like, what happened? Yeah, is she dead? I was like, what? He came back and found her body. Yeah, no, worse. He came back and found her with a male member of production sat on the end of her bed. Did they fuck?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:26

No, but I think there was probably a vibe in that room that there was vibes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:31

And I love it.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:32

Me too. I think if you're someone on a reality show and you're in that situation and there is not a vibe with the person, and you kind of start going for the crew, I think that's iconic behaviour.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:45

So fucking iconic. Yes, yes, yes. I actually it made me really like her. But then she kind of, yeah, obviously denies it all. Um he was just checking on me. It's his job to check on me. Oh, well, don't worry, he'll never work for the show ever again. I love that they're like literally saying like Mike is firing people. He is fi he is getting channel known as fired.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:06

He's been removed from the production, uh, just so you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:08

He'll never work a day in his life again, I've made sure of it. Fucking hell.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:12

It's so good.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:13

This is again why I love watching the shows, because like how funny are straight people. Like so good. What? Like there was a man like I love that they're like, you can't men and women can't be in root like locked rooms together, or else it just it's something must be afoot.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:27

Something hilarious to me. Yeah. I I part of me, yeah, because I I guess I'm on both sides of the fence there. Cause I'm like, well, she should be allowed to be in a row a room alone with a man, um, obviously, but then also I'm kind of on Mike's side because I reckon there probably was something going on.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:45

Yeah, probably. But like, and then but then Mike, unfortunately, we didn't get to see Mike lose his shit. No, I really wanted to see that. If only because I reckon he got full aggro.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:57

I think he like because you know, as he claims, he never raised his voice to Melinda.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:02

I don't believe that.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:03

Um but he was yelling at the man who was in the same room as Melinda, so I feel like that's kind of same samesies. Um so I would would have loved to have seen that, and I would have loved to see her screaming back at Mike being like she does admit that she went full Karen. Yes, which I really want to say.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:20

This is great, like yeah, her kind of like owning her part of it, which again, I'm like, I don't quite know what that was, is quite funny to me.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:30

I love the way she phrases her owning of it. There's never an apology. She's like, I will admit I I said that I did. There's no apology that she's in it.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:39

It's so fucked, like them, it's like the passive aggressive Olympics. It's like whoa.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:45

Yeah, it's it's intense, and I honestly am yeah, I I wish she was there. Like, I what I wanted was do you have you ever watched Summer House? Yeah, the rally shows. So what I appreciate about Summer House is they have like cameras set up in the main living spaces. Yeah 24-7.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:02

Because a toe might get sucked. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:06

It was more than a toe, right? But I think they need that on these types of shows, like on maths, on love tribes.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:13

Like, get them in the fucking holes.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:15

So much drama happens when cameras are down, and I think it's unacceptable that I don't get to see it.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:20

Do we have different law around that in this country, maybe? I do wonder why we don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:24

Well, let's all move, because that's just not okay. That's not okay. I need to see. I need to see it. What's going on? It's not in the bathroom, it's it's like a set. Surely we can film them.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:33

She does then give us iconic line. Um you're nowhere near as relevant as you think you are. You're a 50-year-old washed up reality TV style.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:43

I love that. But I think like a f uh very harsh, but a fair response to his comments about like, there are people who are gonna watch this and they know me, and they know I'm my fans. I do have fans. They know I don't talk bullshit.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:57

Two of them.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:58

Okay, buddy. How long ago? It was like six years ago, that math season, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:14:02

I love that he's like, he goes, Oh well, uh, great chat. Um I'm in a few. You want a cup of tea? Yeah, I'm just gonna leave that, uh leave you with that. And um, yeah, would you like a cup of tea? And she's like, No, I don't want a fucking cup of tea. It was so good. It's great. I hope it was yeah, sensational.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:21

I really felt like your parents just before they got a divorce. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Fantastic.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:25

Over to Peyton and Jordan, it's like from bad to worse. Uh she's like, it's giving little brother vibes and not man of my dreams.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:34

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that poor woman.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:38

Yeah, run.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:39

But at least, like, honestly, she's coping far better than I would have. I'd I would be screaming, she's like, Can you please shut up?

SPEAKER_03 1:14:46

Well, they try and edit it here to make us believe that she's like coming around, warming up to it.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:52

But I'm just gonna do it. And like finding a certain level of charm. Like when they go grocery shopping, yeah, yeah, and the man says, I didn't know there were different coloured onions. And I was like, This is unacceptable to be that age and not know about different coloured onions. I'd be like, You're not coming back to the house. You're not coming back to the house. You're an idiot. I don't want anything to do with you.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:18

Over at Aryanuri, she's thinking maybe she's been too cold. She's like, I did turn it down the kiss, and then I made him sleep in the other room. I'm like, you made that sleep in the other room. This is when I was like, I can't hate this bitch.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:32

Yeah, even I would be like, you can sleep in my room, but you can't wear a shirt. I'm not wear a shirt.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:38

So she goes, All right, to get the flirty vibes going, I'm gonna wait for it, give him a spray tan.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:46

I was like, I do love a product placement though. It was good. It's one of my favourite things. Um I was like, it made me go, Do I need a spray tan?

SPEAKER_03 1:15:54

She is a spray tan girly, Ari. Uh and at least we get to see him now. We got your view. They knew what they were doing with this thing. That's really important. It's cute.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:03

Um and I did like her expressions to camera while doing it.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:07

She was like, Oh, maybe out, maybe out. Yeah, that was cute. Uh, Bernie and Marissa, oh my god, this guy. This is when he's wearing like these huge like blitz yak sunnies or something. And I was like, you are such a douchebag.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:21

And they talk about having a drink on the patio. These two talk about having a drink on the patio a lot.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:25

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:26

But it's the one thing they have in common.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:28

Their conversations are like, yeah, it's like chat GPT talking to each other. It's like, would you like to sit over here and have a pay? And he's he's just looking for reasons to hate her. Yes. He's like, oh what what drink do you have? And like, oh everything is like a she's like she's not she's not cool enough for him.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:46

This man cannot be attracted to a woman who has any kind of emotion at all. And he's like, unless our conversation is all about stroking my ego, I don't want to have it. I'm not interested.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:00

He needs like just some pretentious Instagram girly, like some model. Yeah, and they can do TikToks together.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:06

Yeah. And the conversation is they're not even really talking to each other, they're all just kind of looking, they both need their own reflection while they have a conversation. That that's who he needs to be a weak relationship.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:15

Marissa is it Marissa? Texas. She's like, yeah, she's got a fucking nine-year-old. Like, what what are you doing with this bloke? Anyway.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:24

That was and she's like, I just want to get back to like having flirty fun. I'm like, do you do you want to go back to that with this man? She's the way.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:33

Yeah, what's she doing on this show? Like, she's clearly a hungry tiger as well, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:17:38

She's about to start some kind of small business.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:40

There's a product. I feel the product in the wings. Yeah. Uh he says in confessional that in real life he would have already cut things off with her. And I'm like, we know.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:50

Yeah, we he can tell and she can tell. It's very clear. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:55

And then again, it's like, yeah, they're staying for the airtime. Peyton teaches Jordan how to cook, and this, yeah, this was the onion bit, and oh no. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:06

He can't even butter bread. He doesn't know. She's teaching him how to make toast, veggie mite toast.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:13

He seems to think that the aim of the show is to make her laugh. He's like, oh, but all I'm here to do is make her laugh.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:19

I'm like, he wants a radio gig. Let's be fair. He's harmstone wants a radio gig. He's like the fun Larrakhan.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:26

Or a comedy festival show. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:29

God, as much as I would never give money to that man, I would ask whoever goes to that comedy show to illegally record it so I can watch it.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:37

I would go to that show, but I would be back row with like a hoodie on and like big sunglasses. So no one knew I was there.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:43

Sunglasses GoPro at the top, just film.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:46

And I would make everyone else there like sign NDA. Like the I was not there. And I would not be able to do that.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:51

I'm not a part of this. Yeah. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:54

Oh my god. Yeah. She's not getting get let's get naked vibes with him, and I'm like, same girl.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:01

Yeah, no, never. He clearly, yeah, is doing a bit, wants to it's weird in this in these moments pre-the dinner party that he's like his little like aside to the camera and stuff about like, oh yeah, we are just friends, but like, you know, he's it seems as though he's trying to win her over. That's what he is expressing, and that is clearly lies, uh, lies and analogy all across the board. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:27

They all get little text about the party, and then cut to the party. Uh so yeah, I wasn't quite sure what the format was gonna be with these parties, but there isn't one. They're literally just there, and like I know they're all suddenly in different arrangements of people, and you can't keep track of no who the fuck is. Wait, but it's great.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:49

It is fantastic. Yeah, the they all come together, have a quick chat, break off into little groups, have a gab, have a goss, um, then switch it up, yeah. Um, and then come back together in the end. That is that is the structure of the day.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:05

The uh the lesbians walk into the room to disrupt the heteronaut lesbians, and of course, Bernie goes, Oh, fuck me. They're fucking hot. Uh and to someone's crazy, I don't know who one of the other guys is like, dude.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:22

I actually think it was Jordan. Oh, really? There you go. Oh, there you go. Shocking to me.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:26

Someone was like, Come on. You can't say, Oh, the blonde.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:30

Like, oh hot take, the blonde lesbian is whole falls to the floor and his tongue rolls out like a cartoon wall. Uh yeah, ooga, ooga. He cannot believe it. Yeah, he's just like, I need to bang that chick. She she will be mine. Yeah, yeah. My blood started to boil.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:48

His little sh fucking face. Yeah. And then when she reveals that she's bisexual, he's like, he's like he was already hard, but now he's free coming in the drops.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:58

Yep, yep. He's absolutely in there.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:00

And I can't I actually love them together. I think because obviously, let's be real, they match them with the wrong people on purpose. And I think these two should have been matched together.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:11

Because I was having such a weird reaction. I was like, I hate Bernie, and now I hate him even more because he's like coming for the bisexual in this like queer relationship, and I was like fully like obviously in love with Beck, so protective of her, and I was like, oh no, it's gonna end badly. But in the back of my mind, I was like, Beck is not attracted to Chloe. Chloe, I think, and Bernie would actually make for a really good couple in like the most vapid sense of what a couple is. Um, so I was like, oh, this is not gonna end well. Um, but also maybe it's gonna end perfectly. Who knows? Who knows?

SPEAKER_03 1:21:48

Of course, Chloe's like, um, everyone, just so you know, like I didn't want like the gender to impact my decision. So I just like didn't even know because I'm cool like that.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:57

You guys are all straight and boring, but I'm really interested as a bisexual, and gender has no place in my life. I just don't see gender. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:04

Yeah. Um then Mike and Melinda appear walking like four meters apart from each other, which was amazing.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:12

Incredible. Just like steam coming off both of them in anger.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:17

Yeah, there's like no the face on both of them is just like I don't want to be here. Uh the girlies chat, and someone says, I love love. I think it's Peyton says that.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:30

Well, she's saying it because they're asking about Jordan, and she's trying to put a good face on, like, she's trying to be like, Oh, we are friends, but like it's open, it's kind of like we've been together for five years, like we bicker all the time, and then I think everyone just kind of like okay, and she just goes, I just love love. I was like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:49

Don't you just love? I haven't heard that one in a while. Yeah, very straight pride.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:55

Jordan I mean for a while there it was gay pride. Love is love, love oh true. Love is love.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:00

Don't you just love, yeah. Love is love.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:04

Jordan tells Chloe, uh, oh, but Peyton and I are just uh chilling in the friend zone. Whoa, that's another one I haven't heard in a while. And um this was great. Uh Chloe's like, hang on, but does she know that? And he's like, Yeah, yeah. We we've discussed it m at length. Many occasions we've had many occasions.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:26

I'm like, mate, you have not had length is amazing.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:29

You've not had a conversation with her about anything that isn't a bit.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:33

Yeah, without a cape on. Yeah, absolutely. He's like, Yeah, I was wearing a cape, and I said, uh I was pretending to fly in front of a fan as it blew back my hair, and I said, Yeah, we're in the friend zone.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:43

And she went, Yeah, cool. Yeah, but and this is what I hate, and this is uh they it's giving Tim and Katie on maths this year, where yeah, they stitch up the like curvy girl. Now it's like they're making her look desperate for this douchebag, and I'm like, no, she's come on, you're telling me she's not into it.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:05

She's not interested in it.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:06

I hate the narrative they're trying to tell.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:07

Yeah, I do what I enjoy with, I guess, this uh added queer element means like when they divided the groups into I guess the girls and the boys, Chloe hilariously was with the lads. Um so her ability, like one, have those conversations with the boys and then bring it up later, I think is like a really good production tool. Um so I I very much enjoyed that. But oh boy, yeah, this narrative of Peyton being interested is stupid, but I also think Peyton has a great moment at the end of the episode that kind of negates.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:44

No, she yeah, she does. But also weird, yeah, anyway. But I love that he thinks that they're happily, and that he can pull some like hot little tiny tiny small ethnic petite ethnic woman or something bizarre. And that's what I love. Like these men go in these shows and they act like it's like they're ordering off a menu. Ordering off a menu? I asked for ethnic and I got this. I'm like, sorry.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:12

And that they are somehow being generous by giving these women that they're matched with their time. I was like, you should be so lucky to end with up with someone like Peyton. You are punching, mate. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:25

Melinda tells the story to some girlies about Mike and the uh former member of staff. This is so good.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:34

And I think people are a little bit confused about it, but also like well, it's a good music situation, and also Melinda is a terrible communicator, like such a terrible storyteller. Yeah. She also, like, when they eventually have a conversation out in the open, does not defend herself very well at all.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:53

She's owning too much of it. If I was her, I would be like, I had nothing to do with this. I was sat in a room and then he came in and started yelling. I did nothing.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:02

Which made me go, hmm, okay then. So what did happen exactly?

SPEAKER_03 1:26:07

Because the fact that she feels guilty, I'm like, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:12

He's uh he's like, I didn't yell. And she doesn't chime in with actually you did. She just goes, I do apologize for yelling. I was like, okay, what actually happened in that room then? What's going on? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:23

Oh, if only we had a flyer on the line. I know.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:26

Get those cameras up.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:28

Yeah, Jordan uh likes small, tanned ethnic was the line, which makes my skin crawl. And he's of course he's into Marissa after she tells him that she's part Latina. Which I'm like growing.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:40

It feels like his response when she said Latina, he goes, Oh, spicy one.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:47

Oh yeah. It's like sorry, what's happening? Disgusting mate. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:53

And he was also making like kind of weirdly, like he was telling Texas that he was absolutely interested in her, being like, Oh, there's no way no man could ever not be attracted to you at all. But then he was also doing the flirty thing that it seems to be the only method that straight men have, which is kind of like negging her. It's like he was like, Oh, do you have a nighttime routine? And she's like, Yeah, I do. And he's like, Oh, I knew there was something wrong with you. I was like, tick, tick, and then you said that boom boom.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:23

I was like high vibes himself. What the fuck? Like, God forbid a woman knows how to wash her face, but also like how trolley to ask someone something as like a bait to then be like, oh, lame, gross. Like you are anyway. Then we get Chloe and Bernie having a little moment. Um she's flirting up a store. Oh, she's loving it. She knows what she's doing. I love this. Um, they they talk about TikTok and she's like, Yeah, but you wouldn't know me. I'm on like the gay side of TikTok, so like I don't know, it's probably pretty like underground.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:55

I was like, what the fuck is the gay side of TikTok?

SPEAKER_03 1:27:58

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:58

I also thought his response was quite good. He's like, So you don't know my algorithm. I did like that. Yeah. I was like, I appreciate that. Um, yeah, no, she's flirting up a storm, she's enjoying it. Because I think earlier in or maybe slightly later in the night, she's talking to a couple of the boys and she's like, Oh yeah, like I just wanted to get here and like I want the person I'm with to like want to rip off my clothes. So she's obviously feeling some kind of deficit, which is valid. Yeah. And now here comes Bernie later. Come in hot focus.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:26

Coming in hot. And when and now we see that Bernie does have the capacity to be complimentary and stuff. If he wants to fuck you. He does not want to fuck Marissa. Or maybe they did now. He's over it.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:37

Yeah, he did, and then he met her and she had one emotion and was like, I no longer want to fuck him. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:42

But he he goes, um, oh basically, like, what are you doing here? You're like too hot to be on this show.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:48

And I was like, ugh, he said, like, you know, like I hate to say it, but when someone is someone like you is on these this these shows, like someone who is more than conventionally attractive, I was like, okay, buddy, put it back in your pants. Come on.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:01

I love we're making him sound really like bogan, but he's actually like Portuguese. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:06

Um well we can't do that actually. No, we can't. That would be offensive.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:09

He's actually it's actually quite strange, but it's yeah, I'm weirdly into it.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:12

Oh gross, I hate myself.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:14

No, it's fine. You're only trained by the culture you're part of.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:18

Come on, it's that's not your fault. It's absolutely bad. Yeah. Oh my god. Uh she tells her sob story about her almost marriage.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:27

It's pretty tragic, technically. I don't need to say sob story, but it's pretty sad. No, I like this is she she was meant to be on this show. She's meant to be on this show. I think she needs to, she's clearly like dealing with like a lot of trauma from what has happened, which is why I need her to crash out a bit harder. Yeah. Like, I need her to like I'm gonna feel very sad for her, but I need to see her.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:47

Wait till we find out that she actually broke broke it off so she could be on the show. Don't you reckon? Stranger things have been happening.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:54

I thought you were telling me that that was the actual truth. Oh no, I'm just saying, like, I wouldn't be surprised. Because there's always that.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:59

Like people want to go on these shows and then they're like, oh fuck, but I'm not single. Yep, yep, yep. Whoops. Nah, she's not.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:06

I want that for her. I want that empowering moment, that empowering story.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:11

Back to Micah Melissa. The group interrogate uh her side of the story, which yeah, yeah, just like in real life. Uh, and she's like, Yes, I did call him a washed-up reality text. And he's like, and I do have fans.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:26

And I do have fans. Yeah, he feels very vindicated. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:31

And I like that they had to to to build the world of the show, they had to have at least one person recognize him, but like it was such a stretch. It was like Chloe. It was like, I think I recognize him from MAPS, but she I'm not convinced that she did.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:44

I think she seems like a girl who absolutely watched. Well, just MAPS. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:48

But like it was so long ago. She's like how I remembered him, where you're like, oh yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:54

That guy.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:54

Yeah, it's when yeah, you see people out in the wild who have been on a reality show, you're like, Do I know him from high school? Yeah, like it's that level of recognition. If you won't.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:03

If I walk past him on the street, I would not that night.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:05

I wouldn't, I wouldn't look up. Yeah, wouldn't even wouldn't have seen him.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:09

Then Peyton confronts Jordan for lying to her. Love this moment. And we get the hot mic moment, small town ethnic, amazing. Uh wow.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:20

Yeah, there's there's a quote from um Peyton. I wrote it down. What was it? Um oh, that's right. Because she's like just being very blunt in that moment, and she's like, I just feel like either you're attracted to me or you're not. And she's like, and he's like, Oh, well, we all like can see that you're beautiful. Like, I think you're beautiful, and she's like, I know I'm beautiful, I don't need that from you. I'm not asking about that. It's like either you want to fuck me or you don't. And I feel like you've been lying to your to me and to yourself and pretending like this is a possibility when clearly it's not, and that's fine. But at that but he still doesn't be honest. He's like, No, no, I I think there's like the door's not closed. I'm like, Oh, the door's not closed. The door's not closed. It's such bullshit.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:08

It's that's they have to say all this to like stay on the show, effectively. That's true. Um, what a cliffhanger though. Great way to end the first half of the season.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:18

Yep, yep, yep.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:19

Um, what are you hoping, predicting will take place in the next half?

SPEAKER_00 1:32:24

The next half, because I've only I've watched the next episode, so I know what happens when the thirds come in. What uh what am I hoping? I'm hoping there is at least a little bit of like sapphic romance that doesn't make me like want to die. Yeah. Um a little bit of cute, like I would like to see some attraction from just anyone at this point. Anyone, that's true. Yeah, um I want some sex.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:48

Let's be real. That would be nice.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:52

Yeah, go to pound town. Yeah. 100%. Um that would be fab. I oh, what do I want? What do I want? Yeah, I think I need a little bit more of spiciness. I want Peyton to have someone who is genuinely like interested in her and wants to like fuck her. That's what I want for her. Um, and whether she's like interested or not, I just want someone to like really desire her and for her to like be able to make a decision to be like no or hell yes, that'd be gorge.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:20

Maybe Chloe and Chriselle will hit it off at the reunion.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:24

Maybe I'm excited for this reunion.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:26

I know. And they're glad that I am because of all the money they spent on advertising for it. But I on every bus, yeah, in the world.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:37

Oh, do you reckon that member of staff would be willing to do that?

SPEAKER_03 1:33:40

Probably not. But how good would they be able to do that? I wish they were.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:42

Or like a redacted, like a a like a silhouette, like voice voice changed. Oh my god, to re-recount. Actually, they should. They should absolutely do that. Yeah, that'd be fab. Um, I hope Bernie Okay, so I was about to say I hope Bernie leaves alone. But part of me is like, oh, I hope he leaves with Chloe, so that way Chloe leaves with someone that wants her and her self-esteem. Gets a little top-up, but that's gonna happen. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:08

And they're they're just already, they're like an influencer couple. Like I can already see them. Spruking brands. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:15

And they're gonna be on a bunch of other reality shows, like couples and stuff.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:18

Absolutely, they are.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:19

And I and I do want that for them. Yeah. Um, yeah, I want Jordan to disappear into the ether and we never see him again.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:29

And Mike, I don't really give a fuck about Mike.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:31

Mike is giving such good TV though, because like the passive aggression is great, the delusion is great. He's just the delusion is fantastic. Fantastic.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:40

So then I guess like I hope his next person is able to like continue that drama along. Yeah. I hope there's like more fireworks.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:49

Stunning.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:49

Gorgeous.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:50

We shall see. Damask, thank you so much for joining me on the camera.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:55

I know. This is really good.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:57

We'll have to do it again soon. Ba ba ba.