The Real Housewives of Vancouver - Season 1 (w/ Daniel Tan)

Oh Canada! Daniel and Sam have a buttload to say about these BC broads and they don’t hold back. Jody’s cupcake (and bullying) empire is in full bloom, and no one is safe. In an unprecedented unhinged season, Cristina is hungover, Ronnie is wine drunk and Reiko is revving engines. That and some MAFS and a check-in on our Melbourne girls with make-up artist to the housewives, Daniel Tan.

This podcast episode is also available in video format on YouTube & Spotify.

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Transcript

Intro

SPEAKER_00 0:00

This podcast was produced on the land of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin Nation.

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Welcome to Australia!

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Someone who is such a connoisseur of reality television. The content is hideous.

SPEAKER_01 0:17

So sorry about this. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

Oh my god. Daniel Tan. Hi. Hey. Hey girl. Welcome to the cringes real. I feel this is the most famous I felt since my interviews for another reality

Always the MAFS Bridesmaid, Never The MAFS Bride

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show. Do tell. What show? I was almost a groom on maths. Fuck off. No. Yeah. And then they realise that you're too sane and a normal person, and they were like, she can't be on the show. We need for sure to get for all the other guys listening out there. I'm very sane and I'm very normal. Oh my god. Um this year? No, it was like two seasons ago with that gay couple. Okay. They were gonna have a second season. I still haven't seen that season. But everyone tells me to. It's like one of them's a hairstylist or something. He was so hot. Was he? The long hair one. Yeah. Of course they would love you because you're a makeup artist. And they could go, they could further their I also wanted some of the Melbourne girls at the wedding. What? Amazing. Yeah. But they love to be like gays can only be one of two things, hairstylists or makeup artists. And it's true. We are. Thank you, channel now. I'm training you after this. Yes, it's true. I'm starting my short course. It's a day's worth of eye content. Just imagine if that happened. Wow. Yeah. So yeah, I fe this is how I feel. So you feel. You know. So they fully you got to like interview stage, they were doing Oh yeah, I got like Fright, they were doing confessionals. No, we were like deep interviews. Okay. And they told me a few things of like, oh, you know, we want to bring like a second gay couple in. And I was like, mm-hmm. That that could have been like messy fun. Yeah, but I was like, mm-hmm I'm enough. Yeah. Oh, you were like, if I'm gonna be on it, I want to be the only gay in the village. Yeah, you just bring me a shoe. Yeah. They're not ready for that. No, when I I asked them, I was like, because I remember I was talking to uh Miss Shavello while I was like you know, interviewing, and she's like, just ask some questions. So I was like, great, I'll ask more questions. And um I remember I'm gonna. I love that you've got a Lydia pep talk. This is so good. I asked, and I remember asking, like, why do you want to bring a say second couple in? And they're like, Oh, we want to, you know, will you guys like mesh well like as uh like friends and other people? You all know each other already, yeah. From the gay meetups, you've all fucked, right? And I just remember like thinking, you want a cheating scandal? Yes. And I mean that show bus baby, and they need backups as well, right? I've heard of the heaps of people being they pull out last year. Ready to go someone's like in yeah, yeah. I have a friend who I won't name that's been on a show that I won't name, but like he's said this happens to him every time. It's like gets to the point, and then they're like, You're coming on next week, and then he's been burned like so many times, and I'm like that's all my worst nightmare. Imagine getting so excited, like yeah, low-key telling some people, even though you're not supposed to, that you're on a show. I wasn't ready. If it was gonna happen, I wasn't ready, I don't have a six-pack or a V. You know? You need to get cut for Tally. I need to get cut to potentially get cut last minute. Yeah. Yes. Did you watch this year's? Of course. Oh, amazing. Good. I loved this year. Every single year, I'm like, I'm not doing another season. Yes. I am gonna watch the weddings and just to see who's on it. And then I go, okay, that was good. I'm gonna I'm gonna watch the dinner parties. Heaven. And then it goes from that to fine, I'll I'll see who leaves. And then it goes from that to me watching every like four nights a week. Yeah, I know there's another season, don't I know? I did the same. I tried to resist, and then this year I got sucked in. But only by Jackie. Jack Jackie was truly just like a gift from up above. Chaos, like the crying and then just wiping like smiles next minute. I love her. Oh, she's incredible. We need her on every show. Yeah, put her on every show. Like, I don't even care what it is. I want her in the jungle. I want her she would thrive. She would thrive fine. Yep. She would thrive with like an eating bugs situation. Crying, but like white waves. Amazing. I don't know, put her on all of it. I want to see her racing around the world with what's his name? The golf Clint. Ah! Clint! Yeah. Are they still doing well? I wish they think so. She saw his she saw his bank balance and she was like, we'll move to Tassie. Um I'm totally. Yeah. Yeah. I would. Oh, Jack Jack Jackie. So you mentioned Ms. Sheavello. Yes. Who you uh Well that's how we met. Yes, that

Lydia Schiavello The Ally

SPEAKER_00 5:29

is how we met. We met at the Let me ask you. So how did we meet? We met at the at the infamous uh Lydia Christmas party. Yeah. Which is so good. It was so fun. And you obviously do her makeup. Yeah, I've been doing her makeup for God. When did season two of Melbourne finish? Oh fuck, I don't know. 2014? Wow. Oh my god. Yeah, like I've I met so I got brought on to that show by Petty Fleur. Shut up. Petty Fleur was a customer of mine back when I worked at Mac in the City. Yeah. And PF worked at the uh that's right, the penthouse. And um, so she was a cuss uh customer of mine, and then she made me come to her hers at 5 a.m. that like one of the days, and she wouldn't tell me what it was for. Oh yeah. And I got there and I could see camera crew setting up, and I'm thinking Housewives? Yeah. Because I'd only seen like half of season one. Yeah, right. And then I stuck with her for the whole season of filming, met a few of the girls throughout. Um, me and Lydia got along really well at one of these things, and then I remember I got absolutely shitfaced at the finale party. Yes. Like for season two. Oh yeah. Fuck, that is so good. Like I was disgusting, absolutely disgusting, and then making sure I got behind all the girls in their big main shots. So if you look at like the party, I'm behind them, like trying to keep my eyes open. That's great. Um the hustle. Yeah. I was working hard. And were you a fan of the show before that happened? Not really. Okay, cool. Like I'd seen it, but I hadn't. Yeah, yep, yep. And then so that's what kind of got you like right into it. Yeah, and then well, then they stopped filming. Yes. And then Lydia called me a few times to like come and do her makeup. And so I was like on and off with her while doing Petty Fleur, and you know, then Andrea Moss came out of the woodworks, and I love her. Really? She tell me the most. She's so generous and so lovely. Okay, that's good to hear. Like in lockdown, she messaged me on Instagram and was like, How are you doing? Like, are you going well? And I was like, No, that's I'm not. It's lockdown. She's the only one I've never had any contact with of any kind. And she sent me a full range of Liberty Bell skincare through lockdown. Liberty Bell. It's good. Fuck. Yeah. But like maybe I'll get Andrew. And she didn't have to do that. Like, I'd met her twice. Yeah. Wow. So and then yeah, me and Lydia stuck through all the years. Yeah. I only saw her last well the night before she went overseas. Oh, okay. Last week. Amazing. To do she needed fresh lashes. And you're still doing her makeup, obviously, and some of the other girlies. And Simone, now that she lives around the corner from me. I love Simone. I met Simone recently in Sydney. I listened to that podcast. She was heaven. Yeah. And she I love, she thought she could just like sneak into this party. Well, I did her makeup for that party. Ah, amazing. She looked great. You should have come. Why were you not there? I wasn't invited. Are you joking? No. Oh, bitch. We'll we'll talk later. Um oh she looked so good. And I love, she thought she could just be there and we would just leave her alone. And I was like, no, no, no, no. I was like, sorry, Miss Simone, I have some gays here. Yeah, she got a few. We'd like to speak to you. And she was heaven. She's with a little dance. She's so lovely. Like, she's a girl's girl. Yeah. And a gay's girl. We need her back. If, you know, if and when, praise be, Melbourne is to return to Asgraves. I think we need Simone back. She needs another go. Yeah, yeah. I think she, out of all those new cast, was the only one that like kind of felt real.

SPEAKER_01 9:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:26

And also she's been like around those, like the other girls for years. Like, you know, her and her sister are like they've been around that group. Yeah, and because like her and Jackie seem close. Yeah, which is

Bethenny Frankel's Make Up?

SPEAKER_00 9:40

awesome. Yeah. And did you do Bethany's makeup? No, she was here. What happened? Um, so I got the email from her team, because like maybe three months out of like before she was flying here to do that show. And then Which what was that show? Did anyone go to this show? I looked on Reddit and then got half booked out. Okay, because I've asked every guest that comes on when they go off on about Ethereum. I'm like, did you go to the show? And they're always like, no. But the tickets were cheap. What was it? Was it like a a a life coachy type thing? No, I think it was like an evening. Oh. An evening with. Oh no. I mean, I can test it. I can I can fit better evenings, I would rather. Yeah. Um So you were all set to go and then last men. And then I realized like it was in my calendar. They did a Nicole on you with a little Wi-Fi. No, um I realized and then I realized like I didn't have any like set time, location, all that, so I followed up, and then they were just like, oh no, like the agency who's bringing her over has organized someone else. We thought we were organizing it. Right. So I got cut last minute. Once again, once again got cut. Um first maths now. My mum always said, if you're not first, you're last. Oh no. Amazing. So you got me onto this show we're gonna discuss today. And we were originally just gonna do the one uh talking about a first season of The Real Housewives of Vancouver. But you couldn't stop his. Okay, yes, yeah. New York season. I mean three. Yeah, like one to three. Yes. And you need some Alex McCord. You need Alex, you know, her little guys. You need her like her no wish. Is she still in like Byron or whatever? Yeah, cool. Yeah, I we need eyes on. Oh no, well, she's meant to be back on that Ultimate Girls trip. Bring it. Release the tapes. Um, yeah, so it's like start with like, you know, the first three seasons of New York or season one of Vancouver. Because my thing now, when I get asked where do I start, my answer at the moment is Salt Lake City and do all of it. Because only because it's like it's manageable for people, there's not like huge amounts of it, and it's all good. It's all good. They haven't had a bad season. No, and I'm just glad Angie Kay is like up there fucking queen. When she threw those Tresme bottles. Sorry, when they fell out of the bag, she's I was like, you are now the queen. Yeah, the queen.

SPEAKER_01 12:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:51

And like, you know, from bench warmer bitch to front. Yeah, to front, yeah, totally to main snowflake or whatever the fuck. Centre, centre snowflake.

The Real Housewives of Vancouver Season 1 Recap

SPEAKER_00 13:00

She deserves it, honestly. Yeah. No, she does. But Vancouver slept on criminally, and I myself had done this for years, and never was never even on my radar. I think a few people had mentioned it, and I was like, yeah, yeah. And I was kind of like I think they were Canadian as well, so I assumed there would be nice healthy bias. Well, that too, and I I also assumed as well that they would be too nice. Yeah. I was like, as if they're gonna be horrible. Was I ever wrong? I'm gonna what did I tell you in my first message after I told you to watch it? What did I say about Jody? I can't remember. You were just like, what do you think? Like she's like the nastiest one out of all of the franchises. I think she is safely the most horrible person I've ever seen on television. Yeah. Ever. Yeah. On any and she got a second season. I'm including Maths in this. To give her a second season, and not only, and I mean, we'll get to it next week in our season two, but not only to give her a second season, but allow her to somehow take control of the show and spin it around. Yeah. Like she's actually so evil, but like kind of genius. Yeah, and you know what? Every time I like end up doing some baking at home and like some cupcakes, I always say to myself, I always say to myself, that's a lot of cupcakes. And then you go, the face is permanently like, yeah, this. Yeah. Oh my god. Uh my high-level thoughts on this show are so season one was shot in or released in 2012. It it's before T it's before it's. Oh, what a time to be alive. Like, I I live for the So firstly, this was back when people on reality TV drank. Oh. And these women are wine drunks constantly. Well, they had an alcoholic allegedly on that show. Uh yeah. I think a few. But I it just it just delighted me. Like watching current seasons now where everyone's fucking sober and you know. Yeah, one little love and to see actual, just like dishevelled wine blackout drunks, yeah, it's heaven. It's it's so good. I it's giving Janet Roach in Mexico like but for a full season. But also not even like like there's a difference between like tequila drunk and wine drunk. Yeah, like I know when I go to a winery, I don't even know my name halfway through the day. And they're doing that for like 20 episodes on television. I wish the style of it as well. It's so 2012, and the music and everything, it's just like this whole production, it was incredible. We could not stop watching it. Like, you know, if I ever get on to maths, yeah, I will be bringing back wine drunk 24 hours a day. Thank fuck. I hear they like try and pace them and stuff at the dinner parties. Yeah, but I've I also know that they don't have aircon in that warehouse and they're filming summer from two of my friends that were on the show. Yeah, also like fucking hard work working on makeup on that show because it's like HD makeup. No, no, I know you wouldn't, but I'm just saying, like, after that last season, like Jamie's face. They all do their own makeup. Oh, okay, that checks out. But just the HD cameras, that lighting, the no AC in the warehouse. I was like, oh girl. Yeah, I would just they I was with on Friday night, I was with Ree and Jamie at an event. What? Yeah, and lovely, amazing, great, yeah. Um, and I did Ree's makeup two weeks ago for another event. Amazing. Yeah. What was she like? Amazing, great, yeah, like so nice, so you know, I I feel like I'm at that point where you attract the type of people that you want to work with. If I was Jamie, I would literally be like starting a class action lawsuit against those camera people because they fuck she's so beautiful and they did her so dirty. Yeah, yeah. Anyway. Let's get back to Jody. Back to Ms. Jody. So let's start with season one taglines. Yes. So Ronnie is at this stage of my life, I can afford to say it like it is and look good doing it. Pretty solid. It's pretty solid. Like, what would you give it out of ten? Oh like a five or a six. Okay. I think so. Ronnie, I went on a full roller coaster ride with how I felt about Ronnie. Yeah. She's kind of because she's so rich. But she's bored housewife. Yeah. Like very bored. Very bored. She's got she's got but rich. So like a level of wealth we don't often see on this show. Like she owns like half the fucking lake front, like a half an island, three properties that are huge, up against the lake, the tennis court, the seaplane of it all. I was like, okay, Miss Clane. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I look, I've already got my favourite out of all of these taglines. Okay. But it's not that one. No. Uh but we'll get back to Ronnie. I yeah, I I she's fabulous, but dark and and all of these women, there's something dark about them where you're like, oh, I almost feel bad watching you and enjoying how chaotic this is.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

Yeah.

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But I mean, you signed up to it. Exactly. Oh, true. So and if you sign up to something and you you know your life is not great in that department, don't sign up for a show. Yeah. Mary. Um, I treated being a singer for a mom, but now I'm ready to step back into the spotlight. It's a shit tagline. I'm sorry. The spotlight. Under like what? What like housewives? Yeah. Love. Love. It's and 20 years later, there's two gays talking down on the couch. And then to bring the spotlight into her tagline next year as well. It's just like, oh okay. Um, how do you feel about Mary? I like her. I think there's like a naivety to her where I'm like, oh, she is so sweet and just like I think she sees the good in everyone. Yeah. Because she just cries a lot. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, like she's hurt, like that someone's treating her like that. Yeah. I don't know. I think I feel bad. Jody did her a lot of favours in terms of like painting her as this victim by being such a bully. Oh, yeah. And I will be using that word a lot because that is absolutely what happened on this show. Well, there's no denying it. Like, there's no, yeah, she was absolutely bullied on this show, more so in season two, but it's hard to watch at times. Yeah. But it's like the annoying thing is it's like I want to be able to have opinions about Mary, but I feel like I can't because she was just a victim of her. She was a victim. So it's kind of like you can't really go past that. Because I'm actually sure, like every now and then she did annoy me, and I wanted to feel that, but you can't, you can't even start with that. That's the thing of like all housewives, is like there's a part of them that is all like they're every single one, like there's a little bit that's annoying, and some just you know, yeah, get away with it. Totally. Jody. Every queen needs an empire, and I built mine from scratch. Look, I think it's a I think it's like a nine out of ten. Yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah. Little fangs popping out. Christina, who just can I just say my favourite one? Yes! I was so she's one of my favourite housewifes of all time. Isn't she like 29 anymore? Yeah, I think she was 29 or 30 or something like that. She turned 29 or 30. I'm sorry, I'm 32. I feel like I'm doing pretty well looks-wise now. True. Hers is Vancouver is a gold mine, and I love to go deep. It's honestly like no, no, it's 10 out of 10. It's it's out there with like brins season one. True. Yeah, yeah, it's really good. Uh Rako, I live life in the first lane. Catch me if you can. I look, I she was kind of forgettable. She was really boring. I haven't thought of her since you reminded me. How I did look up she came out. Yeah. We love that. Because I in my notes started to make jokes about her being a lesbian. And then when I found that out, I was like, oh, okay, well that's changed everything. Is she still with her? I don't think so. I think they broke up, but she housewives curse curses again. Was with a lady for a while. How good, but no, I just her and the cars. I was like, okay. Yeah, like we get it, you're rich. We get it, you're rich, and all and her style was kind of it was 2012. I know, but still girl. Yeah. I mean, Jody was walking around in bull gowns. I just, yeah, Rako. I I like Rako. And I think, and she came around to the end. She was she was against a little bit like the cheeker. Yeah, yes. You know, like just likable by everyone. Yep. You know, had a little bit to say, didn't really. She was just rich. Exactly. She was just there. Let's get into episode one. It's called Let the Games Begin. And we first met Jody. She's a muffin entrepreneur or cupcake entrepreneur at this point, which I was like, a lot of cupcakes. A lot of cupcakes. Her face she's got a very Sonia Morgan-esque face. But then I didn't even realize that. When we first started watching, we were like, oh my god, what is Sonia Morgan doing on this show? But then this evil cackle. And really thin extensions. Like you know, like the 2010 emo girls, like the one extension in the front and the back. Yeah. That kind of love. Yeah. Mary's next. She is like this hot MILF we get introduced to her as, and she's like flirting with all her son's kids. And I was like, oh, and then this sets the tone, it was very Lydia, actually. Like, oh, like flirting with the son's kids or the the stepson or whatever. I was like, I love this. Um so that's sort of how we're introduced to her. But that kind of yeah, her being that storyline didn't really stick. It doesn't go anywhere. But can I say this show, there is a lot of the kids in it. Yeah. And we'll hear more about that as we go along. But are we looking at um Jody's daughter? We're talking about Ms. Mia, the mini me to the evil villainess. Mia. That laugh that cackle, she's Jody's daughter. The bags. Uh and then Ronnie with the relationship with her son, the one that's always in it. It's like they're a couple. Oh, yeah. It's so weird. I'm like, what? Yeah. And he was trying to be very mature for like a 22-year-old or something. And I was like, this isn't not a healthy. I remember what I was like at 22, and I I'm so sorry to everyone who knew me. Well, yeah, but I'm like, I didn't want to be on a show with my mum when I was 22. No. Wearing suits and stuff anyway. Some weird child parent relationships in this show. Uh okay, we meet uh Ronnie next after seeing some music videos of Mary's, which I was like, oh my god. So cheap. It's like Jewel adjacent. Mary Zilbah. Did you had you heard of her as a singer? No. No. But I was also listening to like Hannah Montana at that stage. True, true, true. But no, I hadn't, and to this day, I have not. Um I might listen to that song the song that she does on the show that gets stuck in my head. Is it on Spotify? Surely. Surely. We'll have to find out. Uh we meet Ronnie, she lives in a gated community in West Vancouver and pretty much owns half an island. She's the only one in that gated community. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we meet Rako, she's very rich. Yes. Um my god. And then we get this scene where Jody meets up with Rako, and this is when I was like, oh, okay, strap yourselves in. Because she goes to j to Rako. So we're throwing a party and don't worry, we'll have sushi there because you know, you're Asian, and uh and no one involved that's an eyelid. Rayco's just like, yep, cool. The camera people are like, cool, it's got put into and I was screaming. Oh, it's it's the way that it was said, and I don't even think Rako had a chance to like clock it. Yeah. Because she heard was there's gonna be food. Yeah, totally, which she was like, great, yeah. But then yeah, Jody just always being like, Oh, she's she's so that lady, that like rich white lady that's like, oh no, but I go to the Chinese supermarket this first episode when she's like yelling at them in like Chinese when she walks into the fucking Chinese shop and starts barking. I was like, Who is this woman? Well, she's also in like this giant car, this big box of a car, and she's like minuscule. Oh it's wild. It's giving like, did you ever watch Broad City? Yeah, you know, like Alana's mum when they go to Chinatown to buy the knockoff handbags and she's like can speak Chinese for that reason only. I'm like, this woman is that, like, yeah, she's learned Cantonese so that she can get like a good deal. She's calling them all uncle, and I that's what my dad expects me to call his best friend uncle, and I'm like, I don't know them. But at this point, you don't you haven't met her properly, so you think like like in my opinion, at this point, I was like, oh, she's kind of like fabulous, and she was everyone at the shop was coming up to her and being like, Oh, Jody, we love you. And I'm like, looking back on that now, I'm like, she fucking paid those people to do that. Probably like, yeah, yeah. People were not just coming up to her and being like, Oh, Jody, we love you. Like, that was and she's like, Yeah, she I I think the audacity of that, I was just like, Whoa, oh, iconic saying coming in and barking orders, wow. We see Rako buying a Ferrari, and we meet her husband. I thought he was kind of cool. Yeah, I didn't mind him. I think there are some husbands that come onto the shows and you know, like the the girls on like New Jersey, like that is a very husband-centric thing, and they want to be in vibe. I don't want to see the husband unless they're just cool and they pop in or really hot, which rarely happens. Are we talking Sean? Yes, yeah. Either get your hot husband on the show, yeah, or fuck off. Yeah, and I don't know. I don't want to see them. I don't want to see straight men on my TV. And I don't want unless they're hot. What was like Bronwyn's husband called? I don't want that. Todd, I don't want Todd being a fucking messy bitch. No. Anyway. Unless he's gonna, you know, pay me to come and do Bronwyn's makeup, then I love you. Love Bronwyn. Uh then we meet Christina. Fuck. She is Samantha Jones. Like she is the real life Samantha. She is the gold digger friend I wish I had. Same. The way she doesn't, the way she's just not flapped by anything. No. She is a fucking superwoman. Yeah, but also in her like late 20s in the show, like to have been through what two divorces? Yeah, I was like, okay, you're 30 of her two divorces. Yeah, and she's like, you know, it's very expensive to get married to me, ask my two ex-husbands. But being able to make those jokes and stuff is just icon behaviour. Yeah. And just walk in with she was the most mature and confident person of all of them, and the youngest housewife like of all time. Until until Ashley Derby. Yeah, oh true. How old are you? She was 26 when she came on. And I think next season, Yulia is 26 as well. And Booksha Queen. We'll get to that messy diva next week. Uh Girls Weekend in Whistler. Great way to start the franchise. I think other franchises should take note. Do a trip straight up. Yeah. Because then we then it's less like, oh, we're pretending that they all knew each other and stuff. And it's more like let's meet each other. Let's know each other less. Because what do they say? Like you are you really get to know people when you travel with them. True. And we got to know them. Did we ever? Oh my goodness. Uh at dinner, Ronnie is kind of reminding me of a Kelly Benson. Oh, yeah. Because she's sort of like a bit bossy. Bossy, unhinged, but also just enough to the point where you're like, what's wrong with you? Yeah, you're like, I'm intrigued, I want to know. Yeah. But she's she thinks she's kind of like masquerading really cleverly, but it's like, honey, we can see it. She thinks she's killing it. Yeah. And we're like, girl, you're a mess. I would love to have like been on the producer's side, just watching in going, We we struck gold girls. Yeah, they were. They're rubbing themselves on production. Uh Jodie's unhinged. This is straight away at one. She outs herself as being a monster. Yes. Chef. She trolls Mary relentlessly at this dinner for no reason. She's like giving her unsolicited life advice. Yeah. She's like, no, you need to do this and you need to do that. And this is how you find a partner. I'm like, Jodie, how's that going for you? Because last time I checked, you are not in a successful relationship, darling. No, was she single at that point? I believe she was single during the whole show, no? There was no man. It was her and her fucked up relationship with her daughter. Yeah. And then there was a small one who was not talking on camera. Yeah. I'm surprised that she was allowed to even be filmed on camera, that young one. True. She was like four. I just at this point, if someone spoke to me like that, I would be like, sorry, who are you? Like what? Sorry, what? But her her outfit was like those giant Alexander the Queen neck like skulls. Like there was like six of them around her neck. Yes. We should have known from that outfit. Like, this is the demon. Episode two is called O Bully. Um, yeah, Christine's 29, so she's having a 30th birthday. Wow. Um she kind of reminds me a little bit of Brandy Gladville as well at times. But in like like the parts of Brandy that we love. Like party girl, fun, loves a drink, and like loves a gay sexually fluid, yeah, loves a gay, loves to talk about sex, which we're like, thank you. Um, she immediately thinks Jody is a bully, which I'm like, okay, great. You ahead of your time. She knew what she knew what was going on straight away. Well, I mean, she's been through two divorces, like she can read people really well. Exactly. Then we meet Mia at the J brand event. It's giving Alana Hill. Don't you think? The J brand is Dangerfield. J-brand is like Dangerfield. Yeah. But they're talking about jeans, right? This was like the daughter doing her shit. Yeah. She seems possessed by a demon. Yeah. She's not of God. I uh We need some Jackie Gillies going in there, going Yes! Cleanse this just vile. The the teeth for me, it's the it's the big toothy grin. Yeah. The way they laugh. They're like, yeah. Uh and then it's full on uh Jodie V Christina in this episode, which I love. I was like so on Christina's side. I just think Christina is like before her time, like wise, fun, silly. Calling out the bullshit. Calling out the bullshit, and also just like offended that people like women would talk to women like that. Yeah. Because maybe it's her like her young age. I'm older than her now.

SPEAKER_01 33:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:45

Like what she was on that show, and I'm still like, oh, that's I mean, imagine being in your late 20s and being put into that with like a 40-year-old yelling at you. Oh that'd be awful. Oh, Mary, you're 50. You're 50. Oh god. Jody goes to an Italian supermarket this time, which I'm like, oh my god. But surprisingly, she does she resists the urge to start speaking uh in Italian. She's not like Mamma mia when she walks in. She just regularly walks in. I was like, oh okay. I would have cracked it if she gone in just speaking like Mario. Oh, we meet Christina's BFF Kevin. Yes. Kevin? Is it Chris Lilly? Yeah, what's he doing? Like he's very, it's like that type of it's a Mr. G type character. I didn't even think Chris Lily, but it just his kind of mannerisms. I was like, oh. It's a Yassified Chris Lilly. It's a yes, it is a yassified Chris Lilly. Uh Christina stands up uh to Rako and Ronnie, uh, which was rude. I don't know. This was like this was the early days where they're all trying to get on We Meet Marika. Oh yeah, the part friend who like should have been in the show more. I imagine that they would have like been filming like a bunch with her at like in the early phases of filming, like maybe for the first like two or three weeks. Yeah, they probably filmed with her quite a bit. But what was going on with Christina? Because she didn't rock up, she she she stood up Reiko first and then Ronnie in the same episode, and I'm watching it, and so this for me was a I was almost gonna be like, I hate this woman because I can't stand this behaviour. Yeah, I'm a punctual queen, so I was like, oh no, but something was clearly going on. I reckon she was having second thoughts about being on the show. Probably. Yeah. I mean, I feel like there's or having a bender with sm drag queens. I mean, look, either she's considering dropping out, and I don't see that being the case, but it could be true, yeah, or her just being too hung over to film. Wait could the camera caught her a few times waking up. Oh my god, those shots of her in bed. I'm like, girl, yeah. Is that a meme? Like that's drinking water, also like the dog licking her mouth, the inside of her mouth. Amazing relatable content. Uh so yeah, Marika's throwing this 30th birthday, and it's all like, is she gonna rock up? And like Kevin goes to the rescue and like goes and he's like, I'm in the limo now. I'm coming to get you, Christina. You gotta be at your party. It's like so good. Um, at the party, they get her a uh a t-shirt that says like a hooker, only smarter. And she's such a good sport about it. She's like, great. She like puts it on. I think she would have secretly been like, that shirt's great. It it's a very much a t-shirt that I would have seen when I was growing up in Surfers Paradise. Or Supreme Surfers on the Boulevard. Just on the bull, just at a shop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or Supreme It was the Supreme like font. It was like impact font on a like white t-shirt. And also the photos, like when they're scrolling on a blackberry to see the whole photo. The blackberries sent me. Like I yeah. But Jody thinks she's so smart and funny, but it's like, fuck off. Like, she dealt with it really well, and then I love she's having so much fun that she dances around in the t-shirt and her underwear, which I was like, great. It's a girl's night. Cameras were down for the night. Incredible. But uh oh, does Jody does Jody have thoughts on this? Uh, which rolls into ep three, which is called She Should Have Kept Her Clothes On. Great title. Also, no, I I want I want my housewives unhinged, drunk, gold diggers for thirds, and you know, like just doing it Christina was and we were like living, and then Jody had to anyway. This is where we get Christina's iconic hangover scene. So good. Jody takes Rako to get some whale sperm facials. Yes. Well, I mean, like, you know what? I ended up getting that under my eyes on not whale, but on Friday night. Oh, just human. Not no. Not this week. No, um, salmon sperm. Oh, so you did the salmon sperm? Yes. Amazing. It hurt. Do they like inject it? Microneedled.

unknown 38:32

Fuck.

SPEAKER_00 38:32

Yeah, incredible. Were you glowing? You tell me. We'll be the we'll let the audience decide. Exactly. Uh Jody and her daughter are pearl clutching hard over this undies thing. They're like, they won't let it go. They're like, how disgust- oh, it's disgusting. Oh, Christina, she's just she's a whore, she's a whore. Meanwhile, they're dressed in like tiaras and furs and little fur cuffs. When they go, when they go off on people, I just I die because they put on these like fake British accents, and it's just like, oh, it kind of makes me think that like Catherine O'Hara had seen this show when she did Moira Rose, right? Because it's the same kind of like posh Canadian accent of and like delusional. She's got like that's gotta have been one of the references, right? Yeah, I haven't thought of it like that, but I see it. Just when she's kind of going, oh, oh and she's pretending she's like concerned, yeah, but clearly she's being a cunt. She's saying she's acting like she's concerned, but the eyes are saying otherwise. She's the most judgmental piece of shit I've ever seen in my life. Like it's wild. Uh then we get some scenes with a personal trainer for everyone. This was a very like Reiko heavy episode. I was like, oh no. It was like her doing like taekwondo or whatever. I was like, and like a bit of boxing. We don't need this. Yeah. Kind of filler. Uh and then Ronnie telling us about how she's gonna knock down the houses and build like one super house. I was like, okay. Like she's fucking rich. She's rich and she's bored. Yeah, but also like the plans for it. Yeah. Like looking at the plans, you're like, oh. It's like an airport. Like you'd need like travelators to get around. It's it looks so lifeless on the outside. And in the inside, you're like, what? Yeah. If you're if you have three properties and you're just walking around the grounds all day going, hmm, maybe get a hobby? I don't know. Like, yeah. Go hang out with your friends and get filmed. Uh this is where I wrote Rego is such a lesbian. So I could see, girl. Uh, she wants to have her own man cave, which I thought was cute. She was like, Isn't that just called like her house? Yeah. Uh she's got too many cars, and I was like, then we get horse storylines. My favorite part. I love a housewives series of the horse. It's very Montano. Um, yeah, yes. Very, very brand VM. Uh I love how um Christina is like, how much did she say it was? Oh, the horse. Like 35,000 isn't a lot of money, especially when it's not my money. That's right. Icon. So iconic. Then Mary and um Ronnie have a very Chardonnay-fueled bust up. So this is so their friendship is like so tumultuous because they've known each other, it's yeah, they've known each other for a while, but like they've come on the show and it's like ruptured things, and Jodie is like a vulture just like circling their friendship, like waiting for them to like. Oh yeah, like waiting for like a little bit of blood to then like swoop down and just like picket it. I feel like the friendship between Mary and Ronnie is very much like um the biv and oh um Chrissy and and Chrissy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Socialite friends. And they every now and then they pretend they like seeing each other out socially, you know, like had a drink, you know, with each other, but like they're not best friends. Uh-huh. And then they've, you know, done casting. Acquaintances. Casted one of them, gone, who do you know who would fit? Oh, a pop star friend. Great. Totally. Brought her on, and then they've gone on going, we know each other, like we're friends. Yeah. You know what I mean? I feel like it's very much like that. Uh Ronnie uh tells Jody about her fight with Mary, which she lives for, and then they continue to slut shame Christina some more, which I was just like, it makes me really sad to see the slut shaming because I'm like it's intense. It's you know she just wore some underwear, and they're like, oh. They talked about it like she had like I don't know, fingered herself on camera or something. Like she literally was like dancing around at her party in underwear. So what? My friends have seen me do worse. Absolutely. Anyway. I'm so sorry again. Uh then Christina and Jody meet up to let clear there, and um Christina calls Mia, Jody's demon child, a skank, and I died. You know what I mean? The thing is, like in all all of the shows there's this rule like don't bring the kids in. I'm sorry, but if your kids are old enough to film and they're getting into storylines, they're fair game. Yeah. Like, you know, yeah, mm Mia is closer to Christina's age than Jody is. So And Mia is seeing some Christina and uh and one and uh a piece. Is this one where Jody brocks up in giant sunglasses and a tiara flat every episode? The sunglasses, she's like, it's just my thing. First she It's gatua. First, she's like, Oh, I've got eye problems. I need to wear big sunglasses. Then later on, she's like, It's my trademark. I'm like, okay, parents. And then she's like, it's fashion, it's gatua. And they're just the ugliest sunglasses you've ever seen. Anyway. And then on the way out, I fucking hate your slippers, by the way. Iconic line. Those slippers work. And then she cries, and that made me sad because I'm like, have you ever been to the point where you're holding it together while like having a bit of a tiff with someone? And then like they're leaving you like so fucked. Episode four is called Pass the Peace Pi. Jody, Jody eats a triple burger. Wow, that was me like two months ago. There's nothing special about it. But I just remember them cutting that in. I was like, okay. And then refuses to use the porta potty at some suburban car racing event of Rayco's. So funny. But fair. Yeah. She's like, I'm not using a porta potty. But I just love in the same shot, she's like woofing down a triple cheeseburger, then claiming to be some kind of lady that can't go near a porta potty. I'm like, well, maybe don't eat like huge amounts of like beef. But that is just a suggestion. That's very bitter. Daniel Tan behaviour. I'm sorry, I I no. I would do the same. I just wouldn't be going near the porta potty. Yeah. No. They go in some fast cars, and I love Jodie's face when she's in the car. She's like, oh ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, it goes quite far. Like she's freaking out, but like trying to pretend like she's not. Like the cameras are everywhere, babe. Like so good. It's it's good. Mary and Jody have lunch together, um, so Jodie can give more fabulous, unsolicited advice. Which look, Mary should have set the boundary straight away. Yeah, but she didn't know because I think she is probably weaker in the sense of she wants everyone to like her, she doesn't want to rock the boat. True. Yeah, and I I also like who would be prepared for this level of monstrosity? Like, no, exactly. But at this point, she still thinks that she considers her and Ronnie better friends than Ronnie considers Mary to be to her. Yes. And that's a sad realization. Like watching it, you're going, this woman doesn't care about you, like you're just collateral damage in this show to her. Yeah. But we get WineGate. So like Ronnie Wait, isn't she coming up with the collection of scarves, Mary? Is it oh, yeah, okay, I forgot about that. And Ronnie rocks up to this meeting, waste like obliterated, me on my birthday wasted. Like shit face. Oh, and we love to see it. She's straddling like drunk Ronnie on screen. Like, I was living. Yeah, until Miss Rehab. Until she says rehab was fabulous. The only part that was missing was happy hour. Are you kidding me? That should have been the tagline. Like, wow. Yeah. Yeah. And then we get so basically Ronnie is blaming Mary for like force feeding her Chardonnay, which I'm like, wow. Yeah, you are the gas. She's like, well, you know, uh yes, I like a little bit of wine, but you don't need to make me drink it, Mary. Happy. Oh my god. Um, Mary meets with Adam H, the music producer with the like Lee Harding hairstyle. Um oh my god. It's this is wow. And you think that this guy's just gonna be in this one episode, but oh no, we get so much Adam fucking H in this show. Yeah, like, oh kill me, and his little makeshift studio, it's amazing. He kind of reminds me of. Do you remember watching Sydney season one? Melissa Melissa. Yes, yeah, yeah. Yeah, her music producer, it's that. Yeah, yeah. Can you sing that in Russian? Totally. Oh god. Um, but yeah, but his style, Anim H, I had to double check that this show was in fact shot in 2012 because I was like, it's giving to 2002. Um Jody's hosting a dinner for Mia's birthday, uh, and her and Mia are fighting, and this is so good. When Jody and Mia fight, I like get fully erect. Because it's like seeing like Tweeddledeen, Tweedledum just turn on each other. It's wild. Oh good. Um, Mary and Christina aren't invited. This this this is when the the invite militia like warfare starts and then is a consistent theme throughout the rest of the show that Mary should not be present at events, and when she is there, Jody's like, I think it's disgusting that you're here. And it's like, sorry? You're shooting the same show. I I really don't know what there the issue is between her and Mary. I I still to this day cannot tell you. It's like she could almost like see that there was just like a little bit of weakness coming from her. Yeah. I think she's a shark and she smells fear, she smells blood, and she just doubles down. Also, surely some jealousy. Yeah. Mary's like a successful person, she's very happy, she's very comfortable with who she is. I also think there's um, you know, like um, like in New York, yeah, how you know people have said Tinsley was the nicest one to work with, easy, never asked for anything, you know, always like all that. And then they get they get taken for a ride, like strong girlies. Yeah, strong meaning like in insecure, yeah. But like producers love to work with them because they're just so nice. I can see that being the case with Mary where producers loved working with her, yeah, and the other girls were like hearing it and just going. Well, Mary and Christina aren't invited to Mia's, so they have their own party wearing burkers. Oh they're the cultural appropriation on this show. Incredible, yeah. Um Mary gets wine drunk in the studio with Adam Hayes. Adam Hayes is like, look, let's just loosen you up to write this track, Mary. We're just gonna get you fucking wine drunk. Oh, and they write the most amazing song. We need to play it. We do, we need to play it just so like everyone can sort of hear it. It ain't something presently, it ain't Mona James. Oh my god. Uh Christina gets hypnotized by men, yeah. And then she tells us about being bullied in school, and I'm like, I love like you just love her. I feel like it's it's a thing for every housewife. There's always like a past regression, a hypno hypno session, or some shine, shine, shine or a psychic. Yeah, there's always something, a fortune teller, there's always something to do, a bit woo-woo. Definitely, I love it. With all the dysfunction in the group, Rako wants to bring everyone together to clear the air, uh, but Mary doesn't attend. She's probably still lit from the studio wine. Um, Jody goes in hard on Christina from the jump, slut shaming and antagonizing. What an absolute piece of shit. Like, I just it's crazy to me. It's just crazy to see it all happen. Uh, you know, and like I feel like when this came out, I think I was so used to seeing light-hearted fun, yeah, you know, a little bit of drama, but nothing like that was completely going in on everyone's like, you know, annihilating them completely. So seeing it all happen, you're like, oh, like these bitches hate each other. They really do. Like, but what does Jody want? Like, she never has a request, she just wants to tell someone that they've done something in her eyes that's like wrong. Yeah. And then she just wants to keep and she never ever lets it go. No. Ever. There's a god complexity. Exactly. And then but she's so righteous. Yeah. And then, but I'm like, what do you want? Do you want the person to go, oh my god, you're right, Jody. I'm a piece of shit. You're amazing. And I'm gonna quit the show now. Like, literally, like, what the fuck do you want being? So if they had quit because of her, then what is Jody gonna do? It's actually like concerning behaviour, yeah. And to my understanding, to this day, she's never acknowledged any of this behaviour in any way. Get her on next week. Like, seriously, Jody, if you want to come on, I'll hear you out. But like, I'm not gonna fucking let you slut shame me. Yeah, so Christina can give it back, which is great, because Mary kind of just rolled over a bit. Christina was like, no no no no no. Um, and then she seems to have cracked the code because they kind of giggle and move on a bit, which we love to see, but I'm also like I don't trust it. I don't trust it. But it's like, oh, so what? Jody just wants you to be as bulldoggy as she is, and then she's like, oh, like I think she respects Christina because she bats back. Yeah, but it's like what that's no way. She wants you to be like a bulldog up at her level or completely submissive and just taking the drama and yeah. Episode five's called Mending Fences and Burning Bridges. Yes, poor Mary. Uh the wine drunk text war begins between um Ronnie and Mary, these ladies. Oh my god, and then the showing of the texts around, it's great. Um Jody prank calls Christina like she's from the tax department. What the fuck was this? I'd freak out though. Yeah, the tax man. Yeah, and she was like, Oh, it can't be a but just weird thing to do. And she's like, um, Rako loves high-end clothes and high-end cars, so she's doing a snoozy fashion show. I there's always a fashion show somewhere. And like some of the clothes they could show, you're like, we don't need to see this. All of the events in this show, when they say it's like a fashion show or whatever, it's always very like regional. Oh, yeah. Like it's always like outside, yeah. At like a mall, or like at the front of a mall or something. And you're like, oh, yeah, which is great. Which again, I think the cities that aren't, you know, your New York's and your Beverly Hills make the best housewives. It's why Melbourne works so well as well. Because like no one's fucking like, you know, yeah, there's not this reputation or something that you've got to live up to. It you can actually just like have the messy stuff, and it's like so. I'm still not sure if they didn't do the Gold Coast. Oh, that still could happen. I'm still hearing whispers, but I think with the way things are going, no one can afford to fucking start a whole new show. Yeah, nice. I don't even know if they're gonna make more Sydney. Like I've heard I've heard conflicting things, so anyway. Uh uh Ronnie and Mary finally confront Wine Gate. Um, and let's be honest, they are both just wine drunk. Uh, and so they bury the hatchet for now. The fact that they're having like an argument about who was waste and who wasn't, yeah. And while also being drunk at the time. You know what? Me. Yeah. Christina goes cruising for some dick at a bar and ends up with this dweeby-looking guy. I when she does this, I'm just like amazing. She you know what, she's she's for the gays and the girls. Yeah. Her age, not these older bitches. And we find out soon that she's been hitting the town with uh young Mia under her wing, which is a bombshell that I was truly shocked by. Yeah, because it's like they were just ragging on each other. Yeah. And what now they're going out for dick. Exactly. Exactly. Mary hosts a dinner which escalates, uh, and this is where we get are they or are they not Jewish, Kate? Which is so insane. Like it's so stupid. She's like, she said we weren't Jewish. Like, okay. What? Like, like do you have to prove anything? Exactly. Firstly, she didn't say that, and it's never been proven. Secondly, so what if she did? You just go, well, no, well, sorry to let you know, I I am, and then she goes, Great, cool, thanks for letting me know. Like, there's no, there was never it's such a grasping, it's such a reach. It's it's pulling a card that she doesn't actually have. No, but also like, okay, like if someone said to me, You're not half Chinese, I'd be like, I am okay, like sure. Thanks for your opinion and my identity. Yeah, like well like it I'm not running to the next person going, Can you fucking believe what she said? Totally. But I'm also not on a show. But you're also not Jody, and Jody is living for this because she gets it's like she's got something, she loves a bit of ammo. She also loves a bit of screen time. Yeah, and she's gonna really, really milk it. It also feels like topical because it's like, I don't know, people just claiming anti-Semitism over everything at the moment is like insane, and it's like deep breaths, everyone. Yeah, like let's yeah. Ronnie starts singing in Hebrew. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Wait, is Ronnie Jewish? I don't know. I think she's just rich.

SPEAKER_01 57:57

That's her identity.

SPEAKER_00 57:58

Like rich. Like, I don't know, but how weird was that bit? And it's all and and then they all kind of just yeah, anyway, she's starting. Uh Ronnie loses her shit and leaves in a physical altercation in the lift. This is the most insane part. Like, these girls get physical, yeah. They get they take it there, and like I, you know, they've just been like verbal bullies this whole time. I didn't think they were gonna get physical, and I remember like watching it just going, Oh, I was like locked in at that point. I was already loving it, but at that point I was like, okay, yeah, like we're finishing the season tonight. Uh six is hot cars and cold shoulders. Mary reminisces with Christina about the fight with Ronnie, um, who then flies into the city on a seaplane. Rayco and Christina meet up and they do like judo or some shit while she's hung over and it's heaven. Christina just being hung over. I could watch a whole show of that. I don't know where she is now. Is she on Instagram? I don't know. I I think she's M I A. She's gonna Mia. Yeah, she's No, I I I really need to know what she looks like now because she looked 40 at 29. I think it was more the styling. She had this kind of like Anne Hathaway thing. Thin eyebrows on, yeah, and just the but like when she's like, you know, they catch her standing outside her apartment, she's like, there was like one like leg pointed in, like one out, like what are you doing, babe? And her dog Napoleon. Oh my god, I forgot about Napoleon. The original fig is very fig. Yeah, and now I knew you're watching and just like that. No, it's so bad. Do you have a do you have a max password I can borrow? Sure. There is two Italian Greyhounds on the show, and one looks so much like Mr. Fig, and I'm like, RIP. Ronnie wants to start a wine called Rehab, and I this whole branding, the branding. The branding people, there's several of these meetings, and they come in and they she's like, it's called rehab, and they're already the wine people like not a great name. And then she goes into her story, yeah, and then they're like, oh, and then they come back with all these designs to which she's like, I fucking hate them all, they're disgusting. How stupid are you people? And it's like, what are the like what do you want? What are they supposed to do with that? That's the worst brief of all time. A wine called rehab. I just can't imagine like being an I mean, she's an active alcoholic, she's drinking on the show, yeah. And then coming out with like coming up going, I think it's a great idea to launch my product on this show. It's gonna be a wine called rehab. Meanwhile, Ronnie and Mary are forced to sit next to each other at the luxury car fashion show, and Rako pretends to be shy about modeling. She's like, I'm shy. It's like bitch, look at you. You're on a reality show, you're not shy. Yeah. Uh the girls, led by Jody, bully Mary at the car event, um leaving the bar when she arrives. It was mean girls. It's just all so nasty. So nasty. Episode is back in the saddle. Ronnie is just a raging alcoholic at this point. The wine, the wine label continues, and it's just like, yeah, this is when she says the only thing missing from rehab was happy hour. I just can't imagine going on this show thinking my story is gonna be about me being it like, you know, uh rehabilitated, yeah, gonna drink again, and sell a wine, and sell a wine called rehab, rehab, and she does this cork trick with two fogs to the wine people who were just like like I I actually died. They were like, oh, she's like, you gotta just put the forks in the clearly. She's had a bottle of it before she got to that meeting. And the parent have you looked up the reviews of Rehab Wine? No, something for you to do tonight. It's amazing. The reviews are just like, it tastes like absolute shit. It's so good. Anyway, uh also Ronnie is still totally in love with her son, and I find it really strange. Yeah. Uh Jodie tells her demon child, Mia, that Mary called them not Jewish, which activates Mia. Mia's got locked in on this, slap, she's got Jewish. And then Mia becomes sort of like the secondary bully. And then at this party, they go to this like cowboy bar, and Mia like pushes Mary, like physically pushes. That these days that would be enough to get you like kicked off a show. Oh yeah. She's like, You said we weren't Jewish, and then pushes her on the dance floor or something. It's horrible to watch. Yeah. Yeah. But these girls, like back then, there was just no, like the cameras were purely there filming. Like now you can sort of see like when things are a little bit like egg-done by producers or sort of like planted or set up. Yeah. Back then, especially in this, it's like cameras were just there. They were just kind of there. I think they were figuring it out. Season two, you get a lot more traces of producer fuckery. Yeah, which we'll get to, but like this season just feels like, yeah, they just pressed play. This this all just happened. Yeah. Um, then they go to Mexico on episode eight, which is called I Carumba. Off of the Blue Tloom. Blue fucking. So if rehab wasn't enough, that fucking bottle we get blue to loom. The bottle of it. It looks so sickly sweet. It like makes me want to spew just by like watching them do it. And the concept of it came from her mixing two drinks together, probably at kick-ons. Going, we should bottle this to make it. La mascara. Did you have a drink? I did. What? No. There's a reason it's no longer on the shelves. Uh, Jody and Mary have huge tension at this Japanese dinner. Um, and then she says, Oh, we can't cheers. Jodie's such a bitch. She's like, we can't cheese. It's bad luck to cheers someone you don't like. Like, I've seen I've never heard that. Is she just the most vile human? I just know of eye contact. Yes. Seven. Yes. Thanks, Miss Lydia. Yeah. Um well that's it. Yeah. The girls can't deal. Uh Jody causes more chaos in the group going off at Raco this time. Which is, yeah. So we haven't even gotten to what she ends up doing to Rako, which is shortchanging her from a personal. It's like she's really got some balls, Jody. You gotta give it to her. Like, not only is she causing chaos, like judging the shit out of everyone, bullying everyone, but then the one person that's on her side, Rako, she's gonna like rip her off. It's like, girl, she's your one ally at this point. Like also, there's this thing about Jody's shop where like they go on about, you know, oh, it's so it's second hand. No, it's vintage. That whole thing is insane. I don't sell anything fake in my store. It's like she's so she's so defensive, she's like ready to go, even with the change. Oh, yeah, the Kate Milton jeans. Like okay, I didn't know she did jeans. They're still in Mexico on episode nine, which is called Mexican Standoff. Um, and they do the blue sling photo shoot with Christina once again being slut shimmed. Oh, in the water with her top off. It's like she's like, she's probably the The youngest one there with like the perky set of boobs. That's Mary this time. She's like, Oh, I'm not sure. It's it's very blue to loom, so have your tits out. I'm like, it absolutely is. You're in Mexico, like of course it is. White girls rolling around the beach on Mexico. Oh, Jodie tells Christina um she wants to put Mary's head in the toilet, which is wild. I just is that not a threat of violence? No, it is, absolutely. And the producers are just like, oh yep, keep going. It's like, yeah, we'll keep people there filming, yeah, drinking all day. Which of course gets relayed back to Mary, who is disgusted, as you would be. Like I don't know how I would go hearing about like actual threats of violence toward me by someone, you know what I mean? It's crazy. Like I'd either go into like fight or flight mode. So I'm surprised that it just didn't because you want to laugh, but then like Jody has no lol. So there's no like it's not fun. Well, you don't know how far she would take it either. Totally, she's actually dangerous. Uh then yeah, secondhand clothesgate begins. So of course Jody finds a problem to have with some language used about her store. And finally, Ronnie sees the light because legal threats start to get thrown around. And I think Ronnie steps up now and she she starts to realise that like this bitch is crazy and she can't support it anymore. Oh, I I kind of love it when things get legal in a show like this, which is like protected by so many contracts. But like did it even get legal? She just like threw a letter at a yeah, which she's like, I'm not touching that. It's oh it's so bad. I'd want to read those letters so bad. It would be amazing. Surely they're on Reddit somewhere. They gotta be somewhere. Or episode 10 is called Sour Grapes. Um, they do this wine country trip. The Okinahan. They're like, we're going to the Elkanarjan. I'm like, great. Is this still in cat like Canada or are they back here? Yeah, I think it's somewhere in BC still. Or like, yeah. I think it's nearby. It's like wine country. Uh, which of course, you know, these ladies, any excuse will do to just get fucking blackout wine drunk in the middle of the day. I love a little wine drink. This is when we learn about Christina and Mia, which I was like, I had to pause because I thought I had like heard something incorrectly, but like at this point, I was fully just thought that they'd fucked. Did you? Like that's how they that's how they present it. Yeah, because it was like this big scandalous thing, and I'm like, so what really happened? Well, so they were going out and like trolling for dick together, I think, in the club, the girl about which is everything. Well, the Mia looks a little bit like Whitney Port, a little bit, like she's got the Whitney Ports about it, but not personality. If she needed if she had like a deep conditioner through her hair, very much Whitney. I love Whitney Ports so much. But uh, yeah, Mia is a mess, and I think she's got this horrible toxic mum, and then Christina's like this fun party girl, and she like wants to try a bit, but they get blackout together, and then she wakes up in her bed. And so Christina's got that on Mia now. She's like, Do you think something more happened? Look, probably not, but I like that Christina made us think that it did. I enjoyed that a lot, and that is Shobi's baby. That's exactly the whole show. But I was like, is this the first franchise where like one cast member fucks another cast member's daughter on the show? I was like, this is everything. I mean, look, I feel like if it was gonna happen in any other show, something with Sonya Morgan. Oh, but I like that she's got that on her um Jody loses her shit at Mary Over Dinner, fake clothes gate continues, but some of it is fake, and then this is when Christina outs Mia for like waking up in her bed and Jodie's face, it's amazing. She's like, oh she's sort of like trying to move that forehead as much as it will move. Um I just love the fact that those two girls were out on the city cruising for the day to heaven. To be to be alive in the clubs of Vancouver at that time. But then also to go, I've I can't have a late night, I've got to wake up early and film a show. Hung over as far. Jody gives an apology, a shit apology, to Christina, and they kind of call the truce. And I think it's because she wants her to shut up about me her stuff, which is great. Um, yeah, then they all just get wine drunk. Episode 11 is called You Scratch My Back and I'll scratch yours. And it's Mary and Ronnie being friends again, which we love to see. I don't trust it. I well, yeah, you don't you can't because the only thing they don't agree about is Jody. So it's like just don't talk about Jody. Rako plans the Bollywood party for her husband and drops like $100,000 or something crazy on this party. Do you think she actually paid for it? Do you think production? No, well she says she says that the husband paid for it. Oh hot. I don't think the production pays for shit. Do they? Not on the new Sydney done by Beach. No. No, fuck no. Uh yeah, I can see that these ladies just can't wait to culturally appropriate once again. So the Bollywood party is like very exciting. Yeah. Um Christina tells Jody um that she fucked her daughter over coffee and I gagged. She pretty much like she's like she frames it very much as like, we slept together. Yeah. But you know what? Words mean everything, and if that's what she took away from it, great. I don't have to tell you we just slept in the same bed. I'm just saying we slept together. We were all thinking, which is half true. Jody at the Bollywood party, Jody avoids um like Christina, and so does Mia, because I think they're like, now that that's out there, they're like shit scared, and it's so good to see them like scared of someone else for once. Yeah. Then we hear about the $2,000 merchant fee again. That's actually wild. It's so crazy. Like, she's your friend, you're on a show, she's the only person that's supporting you at this point, and you're gonna steal two thousand dollars from her, allegedly. Come on. I mean, it's not like it's a little, you know, like quick little Sunday rate, like clearly just because she knows that the husband's like loading, and she probably thinks that Rako doesn't look at her statements. Yeah. Oh no, no, she does. Yeah, if of course, like come on, like if you're spending that much money on somewhere, it's crazy. And if that's your daily spending anywhere, so crazy. Mary records her new track Poetry Motion Um about her son? Yes, there's there's a little bit of like weird relationships with most of the kids and their mothers on this show. Yes, and I'm seeing that as like an only child, like with who grew up with my mum. Like, some of the behaviour on this is weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's making like Brooks, Marks, and Meredith look like really healthy. Oh yeah. They go to this party. This I love the party scenes in this show where they end up at like some random like apartment, and they go to this one place and there's like a random, like hot guy in the shower. And I was like, sorry, I don't remember that. And then they all leave, they're all like, oh, they all run off. But I'm like, the night's just getting started. Yeah, like there's no way I'd be running off. I'd be like, wait, I'm interested. It's very like if the cameras weren't there, you wonder what would be going down at these parties. Probably a lot, yeah. A lot of wine sex, and especially if they're wine drunk. Like if Ronnie was and then they play poker with this guy later on, and I'm like, who is this guy? It's this show's crazy, anyway. How long did do you think they filmed for? Oh, I don't know. It seems like a little while. Because there's so many parties. There is like a lot of partying in the show. Yeah, because you know how like you know, I know with Melbourne we filmed over like three months, like most seasons. The last season that we did that's pretty good, like three months, like you know, they get so much out of that, yeah. Uh but then like Sydney, I heard like this last one went for five or so. Oh, really? Okay, and then but this one, like, there's so many parties that it's like, yeah, how's this in Sydney? Oh, those girls go away all the time. I know, and they let them do it. Yeah, what are you doing? Naughty girls go to Saint Tropez. Uh episode 12 is called The Fur Flies. Mary tells Rako uh that it's rude. Mia didn't wear a sari to the Bollywood party, and I say, Mia, you're just ahead of your time, girl. Not appropriate. But also, it's so funny how it's like she's calling you out for not wearing it, but then these women just had like a party where they wore burkers. I know, like for like no reason, it's so crazy. They do wear like a sip and paint, these drugs, and Christina calls Ronnie fake to marry, and it's like, oh, here we go. The MIA model fashion show, like Whitney Port of it all. I was dying. This like model casting thing or whatever for Mia. Wow. She's like, I like her because she looks like they get this like skinny, it was like very top model. I'm trying to remember like this last half of the season. She's yeah, because it kind of is a bit of a train wreck. There's this hairstylist, Chow, who I'm obsessed with, yes, who appears quite often in the show. She's later on got like this huge blonde mohawk thing, and I'm like, okay, Chow. Get her on the show. Uh then we do the fashion show, which is the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. Like, they're just like walking down the stairs. Oh my god, it's like hilarious. Then we get Mary's charity event sponsored by Blue Tulum. Oh my god. At Chinois. Did it even go into production that drink? I don't know, but she she certainly got enough produced so she could drink a lot of it on the show. It's a tequila-based cocktail, I'll have you know. It's all tequila with like a little bit of food dye. I want to buy one, so uh I just want the bottle. The bottle was tragic. It looks like something out of a wick shop. Yeah. Jodie and Mia rock up, um, and then they're kicked out by Peter. I love this. This was like very Vanderpump rules. Yeah. Just have like having the security kick someone out of a venue. I kind of love when they like someone gets kicked out of something or like denied entry. Because you know it's just gonna kick on from there. Oh, and you know, you I was just like snapping, I was like, yes, because Mia, this is where we start to learn that Mia's kind of like a a a naughty girl with a bad habit. Yeah, and she's been getting up to some shit in those streets of Vancouver, honey. Yeah, and even after the show did. Yeah, she's getting kicked out of venues, hanging around with the wrong crowd, getting it's glass houses, these two. And I love As in the glass house. As in throwing stones, like Jody is out there like calling everyone sluts and whores, and it's like the phone call's coming from inside the house. Yeah, looking at the colour. Yes, calm as a bitch is the name of episode 13, and Rako is still salty about the merchant fee, as you would be. I'd be pissed. I would be loyal, I would like Amex would be onto it immediately. Pissed off at a Sunday like 1.1% fee. Same, bitch. And can we just talk about that? How that is across the board now? Yeah, it's fucking everywhere. Yeah. Saturday fee, Sunday fee. I'm paying I'm trying to pay cash with things on a Sunday. Yeah, it's bad. Uh then we get the rehab one launch. Oh my god, the way she does, like, all right, everyone, we're all gonna taste it all together so I can see your reaction. I was like, oh this is a bad product. I would have loved to have been there. I would have loved to have been there. Ronnie is like a full-blown alcoholic. Like, she's just it's amazing. I just find it like what did her husband and her son say about launching a wine? I don't know, but the husband rocks up for like the first time at this event, and I was like, he's hot. Yeah, yeah. Amazing, but clearly didn't want to be on the show. No, which he was just uh private funder. Yeah. Ronnie has been playing the middle between Jody and Mary. Um Mia is unwell. Of course, of course, and like insane. I think this is where her and Jody like terrorise this party. Like beyond it's like the way two little demons. They just rock up and they're like, Yeah. She yeah. It's like lunch showdown, and we get a and then finally we get a Jody pylon, which we've been waiting forever. People like don't want to hear it anymore. People don't fuck with it for long. Like a week of it would be too long for me. Yeah. These girls did however many months of it. Like I and this is like the final scene of the show where like she finally admits that like they do have secondhand stuff, and you're like, okay, great. We know. She Ronnie demands that she apologises to the group, um, and she's just not really gonna do it. It's it's it's like a reality of Ontas ending where they all kind of like finally turn on the bad guy, yeah. Like f like Jody's like unmasked as the villain, like Scooby-Doo style, and everyone piles on, and you're just not your homes are snapping. I I do think Jody is worse than Monica. I 100% Monica was a bad person. No, neither, neither. But I'm just saying, like, the the way the build-up to it and then the band. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just so happy that like it went in the right direction, yeah. Yeah. Um ten out of ten show. Look for season one, where usually the first season of most shows, even mainly housewives shows, where you're trying to get to know eight women, or nine or six, however many. I think there's five, which I loved. I think usually five to six is my favourite. Five heavy hitters. Well, I remember one season of Melbourne we had eight. Was that with Venus? No, that was the one with um Susie. Oh. Yeah. Susie. But like, you know, is she going in Bali? No, that's Sally. Oh. Susie. Oh, that's Sally. Oh no, Susie homemaker. Susie was the homemaker of the MILF. Oh no, she was fine. Yeah. But like they had like eight women and everyone got on well. Susie didn't call Gina or bitch. That was Susie, Sally, whatever. Uh, then we get this reunion with this like awkward homosexual that did not want to be there. It unfortunately this reunion sucked. It was two parts, it was not good. It wasn't good. I just remember it being one of those ones where you're like, okay, where is the juice? But what we do get is Ronnie telling this days of our lives story about Remington and the piece of steak, which we were on the edge of our seats. We were like, Yeah, what she's like, Remington ate a piece of steak. And at this point, you think like there's been a tragedy, so you're like, oh my god. And then like five hours later, you find out that like she's fine, and you're like, oh, okay. Yeah, she's fine. But yeah, yeah, Ronnie, Ronnie can get really soap actress real quick. Like she she knows what she's doing, she knows exactly how to play her cards, yeah, and bring up like you know because I'm I'm pretty sure she was getting a little bit of it like drilled at her, and then she brings up this story. And I think, yeah, it all puts everything into perspective, but we leave this season assuming that Ronnie is because she says she's like, I'm never talking to you again to Jody. We leave with her going to Jody, you're disgusting, yeah, never gonna see. So you're like, great. So you kind of leave thinking awesome. Then when season two starts, you're like, oh fuck off. Because they're completely fine. Yeah. And they're all richer. It's yeah. It was well, yeah. For for a first season of Any Housewives, I think we got more drama than we ever have on a lot of them. Yeah. Like hatred. You know, usually it's like, oh, you just sort of like disagreeing on things and like you're building up the characters. This one they went in full blown I hate that woman. Yeah. I loved it. Loved it. Well, Dan, thank you so much. Thank you. And I'll see you next week to talk about season two. Bye bye. Bye.