Meaning and Moxie After 50
Looking for more inspiration and possibility in midlife and beyond? Join host Leslie Maloney, proud wife, mom, author and teacher, as she talks with people finding Meaning and Moxie in their life after 50.
Meaning and Moxie After 50
Writing New Chapters in Later Life with Honey Good
After feeling stuck in life's routine, Susan "Honey" Good took a friend's advice and began journaling, which sparked a creative journey that would transform her life. Join us as we discover Honey's inspiring story of reinvention that led her to become a successful lifestyle blogger and author after the age of 60. Her fearless embrace of vulnerability and authenticity serves as a beacon of inspiration, encouraging others to approach life's second act with excitement and purpose.
Honey talks about the power of curiosity and passion, especially for women navigating life post-50. As we reflect on personal stories and shared experiences, we highlight the courage needed to pursue long-held dreams and the empowerment that follows. From the challenges of caregiving to the thrill of starting new ventures like Honey Good, we delve into how significant changes can open doors to unexpected opportunities, urging listeners to act on their daydreams with urgency and determination.
We also delve into the emotional intricacies of relationships, particularly the bond between mothers and daughters, and the importance of inner confidence. Honey and I discuss overcoming the invisibility many women feel after 50 and the transformative power of community and passion. Through Honey's journey of becoming an unexpected author with her book, "Stories for My Grandchild," we explore how writing can be both a cathartic and energizing process.
Honey's contact info:
Honey's Three Facebook Groups
https://www.facebook.com/groups/widow support group for women
https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmothers
https://www.facebook.com/groups/celebratevisibility/
Honey's website:
Link to Honey's Book on Amazon:
https://amzn.to/3XuQSYi
**The information provided on this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute legal advice; instead, all information, content and materials available on this site are for general informational purposes only. Information on this podcast may not constitute the most up-to-date legal or other information. This podcast contains links to other third party websites. Such links are only for the convenience of the reader, user or browser.
Hi everybody. Let me tell you a little bit about my guest this week. Honeygood is a vibrant community and resource hub founded by Susan Honeygood, a lifestyle blogger and author dedicated to empowering women over 50. She's got such an engaging website, honeygoodcom, and a popular book, stories for my Grandchild. Honey shares her journey of reinvention, self-discovery and finding joy in life's second act. Her platform covers a wide variety of topics, including relationships, fashion, travel and embracing the wisdom that comes with age. Hope you enjoy it.
Speaker 1:I'm Leslie Maloney, retirement coach and podcast host. I'm all about helping you navigate the many transitions of this next chapter, from redefining purpose to finding joy in the everyday. We dive into real stories, practical tips and inspiring conversations. So whether you've already retired, you're planning for it or you're just starting to think about what's next, join me for this fun and fearless exploration of life's second act, because life after 50 isn't the end of the story. No, far from it. It's where the magic truly begins. Go to my website meaninginmoxieafter50.com for more information, and now let's get going with this week's episode. All right, welcome, honey. I'm so glad that you could be here today. I've been really looking forward to this interview.
Speaker 2:Well, I have been looking forward to meeting you, Leslie.
Speaker 1:Yes, so just, I mean, you have so many different things going on. I love on your website. You have the modern matriarch, First of all. I love that idea and the concept and I want to talk about what that means for you. But you have a really interesting business story. Somebody recommended to you to keep a journal for three months and out of that you became a blogger and you have written a book for grandmothers, correct? Yeah, so you're an author. What's that?
Speaker 2:Everything's a story.
Speaker 1:Yes, well, don't, isn't that? And that's what this podcast is about. We all have our stories to tell and we learn from each other through our stories. So you've really turned into the storyteller on your, on your website. You've got your blogging, you've got, you've got a magazine kind of it's an online magazine.
Speaker 2:Yes, I do yeah.
Speaker 1:And then you have some different groups that you're a part of as well. So so, and a lot of this started after 60, correct?
Speaker 2:Actually it all started after 60.
Speaker 1:Which I love.
Speaker 2:And what happened is I met a woman and she said are you a snowbird? And we were living in California part of the year. And I said I am a snowbird. And she said well, I live here, so what do you do? And I don't know why. I said well, I tell you the truth, I'm really bored with my busyness. And she says I'm really bored with my busyness. And she says well, what do you mean? And I said well, my children, I'm an empty nester, I'm married, I play golf, I play cards, I have lunch with my friends, and I'm really kind of bored. She just looked at me and she said well, I can tell you what to do. And I said you can? She said yes, if you keep a journal for three months and you never miss a day, you'll find your voice. So the first thing that hit me was the drama I will find my voice.
Speaker 1:Sounds like.
Speaker 2:Hollywood. The second thing that hit me was and I said to her oh, you don't understand. I don't know how to write. I've never written anything except a blue book in college and she repeated again what she said to me. And then I said to her well, how do you know that I will find my voice? She said because I'm a writer. And I got in my car, I went home and I approached my husband and I talked to him about it and we agreed that I would keep a journal the next morning on my computer. I didn't hand write, I used my computer because I just learned to type and I was in love and I still am with Steve Jobs and it's brilliant and the minute.
Speaker 2:And I still am with Steve Jobs and it's brilliant and the minute and I know this sounds dramatic, but the minute my fingers hit the keyboard, I like went in my own zone and I just wrote whatever I thought. But I wrote very authentically. Three months passed, I never missed a day, no matter what I was doing, and one day I was in the park. Now I'm in Chicago where we live six months with my dog and my best friend calls, and I had let her read my stories and she said what are you going to do with your 20 billion words? I said I don't know. She says well, I'm going to a networking meeting. I think you should go on the internet and I go on the internet. I don't know one thing about the internet.
Speaker 2:Fast forward. The young man came to my door, met with me, met with my husband, and he said at that time I was known as Grandma Good and that's how I wrote. I signed it, grandma Good, and he said there's no grandmas out there. I'll put you on the internet. My sister's an English teacher and she'll edit your stories. I said okay, because the reason I have lived an extraordinary life is I have no fear. I have no fear about putting my toe in unknown waters, because I figure, if I don't succeed, so what? I learned something something else.
Speaker 2:so fast forward again. It was a hobby, it hit never a business, but people started reading my stories and then it kept growing and growing and growing. And then, all of a sudden, I was on social media. I was writing my stories. It just kept propelling itself and it was because I was just happy what I was doing and my writing was so authentic. I allowed myself and this is what I want to tell women when you allow yourself to be vulnerable, it's really appealing because it's a strength. If you say I'm weak somewhere, people will reach out and say how, how can I help you? Or they'll say oh, she's not just always feeling powerful. And so women started relating to me and that's why I am partially where I am today. I have so many of my original followers from 10 years.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, from 10 years, yeah, stories, yeah that, and it sounds like there were some really. Um, I'm a big believer in synchronicity, um, and I think you are as well, and it sounds like there were a lot of synchronicities and that all coming together and it sounded. It sounds like it came together kind of just effortlessly in a way. The right people appeared and things just kind of started to take on their own energy. Would you say that's that an accurate description?
Speaker 2:No no, not at all, I think that I was okay with myself and my writings, but when, when it was no longer a hobby and it started to become a business, I was in waters, I had never traveled, so suddenly I needed people to help me. You know, social media editors or not editors an editor I needed help, and so I made a lot of mistakes, not in the character of the people I chose, but in their abilities. So I faltered a lot, but I still love to write, so I never gave up and now I have a really good team.
Speaker 2:Yeah they can be so many years to learn Because the internet. It's taken me so many years to learn because the internet. Someone my age learning the internet, learning SEO, learning all these algorithms.
Speaker 1:It's above and beyond my comprehension. So in that respect it was very difficult for me, Okay, but at its core.
Speaker 2:you were doing what you wanted to be doing.
Speaker 1:Yes, A hundred percent, and now that was ringing true. And so the other part of it was like well, I'll figure this out or I'll get people that'll help me figure this out and we'll just go along. And yes, of course there's going to be mistakes made and a learning curve there, but it's and it's being comfortable with that, Like what you said, not being afraid, Like okay, well, I'm a newbie here and I'll get better as I go.
Speaker 2:That's how I felt and I was curious. I think curiosity is a spice of life.
Speaker 1:Me too, me too, in just finding things that we're curious about, and I think too, that's one of my favorite words that we're curious about, and I, and I think too, that's one of my favorite words, and I think that when we are feeling bored or we feel like we've lost our way, you know just okay. Well then, what makes you curious? What are the things? Fine, you know, follow that light of curiosity, even if it's just maybe just a little bit, because there's something there, and then I, so I'd live my life by that.
Speaker 2:I'm curious about everything. Everything I'm curious. My mother was curious yeah you know, I'm curious.
Speaker 1:I it's just, it's in me, it's like a breath of fresh air yes you're never bored no, and it and it's, and I think it brings the newness in your life. I almost envision like a hallway of doors that can be opened and like you can open this one and go okay, well, no, all right, that's good, I'll close out one and I'm going to go to the next one, and then, oh, I think I'll hang out here for a while, and it just keeps life so much more interesting. I think we have to do that regularly to stir things up.
Speaker 1:I agree with you 100 yeah so what are your current curiosities, going on that you're following?
Speaker 2:uh, well, um, right now everything is more or less status quo. My husband has been ill, so I have been very curious finding him all the help because I adore him, he's my best girlfriend, so I've learned a lot in that field, which hasn't been my cup of tea, nor yours, nor anyone's. But I would say, right now, my life used to be like the size of the world and now my life is like the size of a freckle, but it's still overflowing. So, on a personal level, my curiosity is I'm going to be coming. I think I can't discuss it really, but I will know. This week I think I'm going on a national board where I'm going to give back. Um, so I'm very curious about that.
Speaker 2:I've been working on this really, uh, for a year, and I'm also very curious about where, what my next endeavor is going to be with Honeygood. That's always got my adrenaline going. So, to just go off the beaten path a second, I think when a woman is struck with a very big change in life whether having a husband who becomes ill, whether getting divorced, whether facing widowhood, whether becoming an empty nester, whether retiring from the workplace she has to get that curiosity, that adrenaline going and reach out for something that she is really passionate about, and it could be this big or it could be this big, but it has to be a passion. Yes, I think that keeps older women just focused and going.
Speaker 1:there's something out there yeah, and like you say, I mean it can be. It can be big or small. I think sometimes we use the word passion. People are like well, I don't know what I'm passionate about, you know, but it's that, that little light, that that little. I always think of it as you. It is like a little light inside. When you think about it, you kind of get a little spark a little.
Speaker 2:Don't you daydream? Yes, we all daydream, and we daydream about many, many, many things, and probably one of the daydreams is something that we would like to do or we have a passion about. Maybe it's starting a vegetable garden, who knows. And it starts out like a daydream and one day it just becomes reality, at least it does for me. So the group I want to be involved in I must must get I don't know how many emails a day from I don't know where or who, but one caught my eye and I opened it and it started me on a whole new path and I followed it and now I may go on a national board. So it's not just having a daydream and then saying I want to do it, but then doing it.
Speaker 1:Yes, oh yeah, it's hard, right, and that's that that, because, yeah, we can, we can conjure it up in our mind, but then taking that, that step, I mean that's the scary part, right, because now we're putting ourselves out there, now we're ourselves out there now, which, pardon me, started doing with podcasts yes, yes, um, a big undertaking it is, and but it was just something that uh was was just kept kept poking at me and poking at me, and I just wanted people, uh, to have a platform where people can tell their stories about life after 50 in the way that they're defining meaning and moxie for them. I mean, that's the the name came to me immediately and um it, it just it's taking on a life that's on the same, the same way and it was a daydream, a dream, and you made it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, in reality you, and I mean it took. It took some. I had to learn some technology and I had to. You know, there was, there was a learning curve once again, but but there was that underlying thing. I'm going to do this, I'm going to see this through because I I just want to see it through and see what happens. Yeah, that's how I feel yeah and it's empowering.
Speaker 1:It's empowering to do that, no matter what it is, is to say I'm going to, I'm going to make this happen. I love on your website you say, if not now, when that's one of the things about age I think. I wonder if you feel the same way, that you know time becomes it's always precious. But when you realize that you know okay, I'm over 50 and you start, you know, like time is really precious. If I'm going to get busy about these things that I've thought about doing since I was 20, I've already get going because you know time is ticking away.
Speaker 2:I agree with you. Yeah, well, I've done it and are doing it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, talk about are you still writing the way you you were writing? I mean you're still. Are you doing that every morning?
Speaker 2:I write all the time and I I wake up around four uh, not because I want to, I just do, and I like have my little routine. And then, as the sun starts coming up because I have views of the east and the south, so the sun rises in the south I sit down and I just start writing, because it's the morning, I'm fresh, the house is quiet and I love the quiet of the day and I have my cup of coffee and, yeah, I write, and I write just as I. I am a better writer, I, I have improved my skills just because I write, so I write all the time. Um, but, uh, yeah, I do, I write. I write all the time. Yeah, it's my, it's a passion yeah, is it?
Speaker 1:what are some of the more? You have particular subjects right now that you're, I'm sure that that moves around as well, but do you have a particular topic right now that you like writing about?
Speaker 2:well what I've been writing about lately. My last story was, um, uh, on the summer of 24 and what I'm going to leap into in the fall, because I think the fall of the year is better than the new year. I think it is the new year because we look forward to Thanksgiving and Hanukkah and Christmas and trips and family and cleaning our closets, et cetera, where the new year is like, oh, my new year's resolution. I know I'll never do it. This is my new year's resolution. Do you know what I mean? So that's what I've been writing about.
Speaker 2:I've written a lot about having and this is probably important to a lot of women my husband was a force. He's still my force, but I've had to take over all the responsibility and that's been very hard for me Because it's hard to say no. As a woman, it's always hard for me to say no and learning to take care of all these things that my husband always took care of, even if it's the plumber coming to the house and giving a bid, let's say so. I write about that, that we have to learn that it's empowering to say no and we have to learn that. So I've told stories about how I learned to say no, I told story. I wrote stories about my husband being ill and I.
Speaker 2:I'm going now to start writing more about what I used to write about. I used to write a lot about style, because I think and by that I don't mean spending money, I'm talking about I think every woman's biography is her inner style, who she is, what makes her shine when she walks into a room, and a lot of women are feeling very invisible after 50. A lot of women are feeling very invisible after 50. A lot of women are feeling lonely after 50 young women too. But so I'm going to start writing more about that. My stories haven't been. I'm a very upbeat person. I always see my glass half full. Very upbeat person. I always see my glass half full. But it's been kind of difficult for me and I've been just writing about it authentically.
Speaker 1:Sure yeah.
Speaker 2:And I owe. And then I've written about estrangement, adult children, estrangement from their families. They just walk away and it's epidemic. It's an epidemic but because mothers and grandmothers are afraid to say oh, my children don't talk to me because the other women will look at them, they're friends. Oh, your children don't talk to you. Of course, their children may not talk to them either, but it's kind of been hidden and I'm trying to bring it out I yeah one of my groups.
Speaker 2:I started a private facebook group and um. It's called um estranged mothers and grandmothers millions strong because it's in the hundreds of thousands, if not millions, and what do you think is going on there?
Speaker 1:I mean, is it miscommunications? What do you see in those groups?
Speaker 2:Well, for the first thing is this that when a mother comes on, or grandmother, or mother grandmother comes on for the first time, she said oh my God, I didn't know you were there for me, so I'm so happy to have a place to talk. The second thing is, let's say that that woman then tells her story, instead of like on Facebook where you get 10 replies, 20 replies, there could be 150 replies to a woman. What do I think causes it? Well, well, I'm a great communicator, so I think that communication is the key to success and everything you know wise communication. Um, I think that it could be a daughter-in-law, could be a son-in-law, it could be in-laws, it could be over money, it could be it's, it's not over abuse. The women on my side there are good mothers and grandmothers like, like, like you, are you a mother?
Speaker 1:I am, I, I have two, two adults okay. Okay so you have children.
Speaker 2:No grandkids yet Were you a perfect mother.
Speaker 1:No, of course not.
Speaker 2:Okay. So these women were like you, like they had imperfections. There's no books written on it, it's all emotion, right. So I think because of the way of the last generation or two, the way they've been risen, I mean the way they've been um, the way they've grown up, uh, it's, it's a new type of society, so psychologists are trained differently and it's now so, let's say, these young people go to psychologists, they talk this is what I'm reading from the women. The psychologists are saying it's important to think about you, you count, it's about you, you, you. It's interesting.
Speaker 2:So it could be that it could just be so many. It could be, um, in my situation, my children at this point not not not a few, but 90 percent are estranged for me because I have letters up until a few years after I remarried. So I was a young widow, I remarried. I have a blended family who, ironically, I'm like this with, and my children really missed me because they lost their father and they felt they lost their mother, and they were 20, 1922, and that age one was married with a baby. So, but in my opinion, there's no excuse for it right, right, and what wasted time.
Speaker 2:I mean, it's um especially when they bring in grandchildren yes that is, that's that's gaslighting yes, oh, big time, big time.
Speaker 1:I I was just at a celebration of life. Maybe two, three weeks ago my friend's ex-husband passed away, but she was still very close with him and she had a son with him. But he had another son from another marriage that they they had a falling out one day and the son had not talked to him for five, six, seven years and his dad had a heart attack. And so here he is at the celebration of life and he got up and he said he was so, he had so much regret because he thought he had time, he had, he thought he had time to repair the relationship and he just kind of put it on the shelf and it was a pride thing, I mean on the shelf, and it was a pride thing. I mean he even said it was a pride thing, who's going to blink first? And and he just was so, um, remorseful I mean, it was, it was very cathartic to witness that and for him.
Speaker 1:He just got up and started sharing that with the crowd and it was just beautiful that he was able to do that and that is just wonderful yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't know how these, um, young adults, I really don't know how they live with themselves because, I mean, I, I had a mother and a father. I was a daughter. My mother just passed away a year and a half ago. I had so many rows with my mother during my growing up years but I would do this, even though I knew I was right. I would call my mother. I'm sorry, mom. I keep my fingers crossed behind my back, right. I said I'm sorry, mom. I love you mom.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't know how these estranged adults what do they say to themselves? Yeah, how do they justify doing this?
Speaker 1:I wonder if they just think they have time and it's, you know it's inconvenient to kind of I don't know. I mean it's, it is a shame, because I mean your family is your family and your parents. I mean you know that that. Yeah, I mean it's, it's, it's uh, it's hard, it's hard it is, it is and, like you say, with grandchildren, and grandchildren are mixed in with that, it's that's what awaits, what they're seeing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and look how they miss out on having their grandma and how their grandmas miss out with them. Right, and all it would take is a conversation, maybe going to therapy together. You know, ever, because there isn't a mother on my site that would not go and sit down with a therapist with their, their child or children.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:To try and work things out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it's wonderful that you're bringing this to light, because I do think I mean I can just think of a couple people that I know that are estranged from their kids right um, it's just yeah, and and it is. It's a touchy thing because when you're having conversation about your own kids or somebody else's kids, you feel, and you feel for them and and you don't I'm I almost don't know what to say, and and uh, but I think talking about it helps I think talking about it helps yeah yeah, and what I don't understand, and this is what's happened, what I noticed in my group there are some mothers that they have reached the point that they just have started a totally new life.
Speaker 2:They have been able to rise above the fray, the fray and I have, like, such an interesting life and as many things as I do. There isn't a day I don't grieve, I can't help it, sure, and I'm happy too right right, but it's like a cloud, yeah, and so all these other mothers that are suffering like I am. I just wish the children would all come back and have a, have communication, and they don't. The mothers keep. They apologize even when they don't think they're wrong, just, and it doesn't work.
Speaker 1:It doesn't right, I don't know why I'm not a psychologist I think it's probably unique to each situation, but it's and and it I take some maturity on, on and, and some owning your own stuff too, um, and how you know, because it takes two too, and so it's sort of like it's complicated. So complicated.
Speaker 1:Yeah, very complicated and very emotional, very emotionally charged, and I think there are some folks walking around that don't want, they don't want to go there, they don't want, because then that means I have to start, uh, looking inside and it's maybe it's easier just to yes, it's just easier, yes.
Speaker 2:So and the other thing, I noticed that there's also competition between mothers and daughters on the other side. It can be on the daughter's side, yeah, and there can also be mental illness and the the adult child and within the child substance abuse.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, it's all kinds of stuff like you say, it's very complicated yeah, yeah is this what you get? Is this what you get the most um input from people on this particular topic? Are there certain topics that you go? Oh wow, I've got my finger on the pulse there.
Speaker 2:Well, I'll tell you, the number one topic is beauty, any kind of beauty, because every woman wants to stay as beautiful for as long as she can. So it's beauty. And then it's secondly is relationships, and the way I talk about beauty is that you can take two women, will walk into a crowded room and one woman is drop dead gorgeous and the other woman is plain and they walk in together and the gorgeous woman relies on her looks and the other woman relies on her inner beauty and she walks in and she puts a big smile on her face and her eyes crinkle and her personality shines and before you know it, you don't look at the other woman who's just relying on her looks. So I try and give women a purpose, to feel their empowerment and use their inner beauty to express their outer beauty yes, yes, because it does translate.
Speaker 1:People do feel that and their warmth and yes, it's way more attractive in the long run too.
Speaker 2:Way more attractive in the long run, yeah so that's very important and estrangement I I never imagined when I put up this free private group. I mean in a matter of I think now it's five months we're trending over 13,000 women.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:No advertising, no, nothing. You know, estrangement is really yeah, yeah yeah, yeah. So those I yeah. It is when every time I write about estrangement I have a lot of clicks on my stories.
Speaker 1:But that, that beauty always yeah, that that always gets. Yeah, that's when.
Speaker 2:That's a good entry point too, because I don't talk about, um, you know, buying clothes and things like that but I do give tips like your eyebrows and whatever yeah, yeah, exactly we all like oh sure, sure.
Speaker 1:So your other two groups, um, women over 50, celebrate visibility, and that's actually a group that I'm a part of. That's how I found you I found susan, I know you did yeah, which I think that's a uh. And you already kind of mentioned that group with the whole visibility and women feeling like after 50, that they're not visible. We're thinking that anyway because I mean that's, you can Feel that yes.
Speaker 2:They, they feel it. It's a natural. I mean, every woman feels it. It's just part of life. You're not 40. You're not 30.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Right, right, and that's why you have to. Just you just have to to. I know passion is a very I use big words like passion because I just love that word. It's just feeling like, oh, I want to learn to needle point or I'm going to pick up needle pointing again. I'm passionate about, I'm excited. Um, you have to go out and do these things. It can be very difficult, so maybe join a group.
Speaker 2:You know in your community, a church group, you know uh, a wine tasting group, a book club, whatever right make make one new friend. You read a new book, you get into the. The history of the, the book I mean everything we have to do on our.
Speaker 1:We have to push ourselves to do it we do, it's not going to happen to us, and it and and the confidence comes in the doing. You know people say, well, I don't have enough confidence.
Speaker 1:But you gain confidence when you take those little steps, you start to gain momentum and that's your yeah you, yeah, it gives you confidence to take the next step and try the next new thing For me, one that, as I, as I've for me with age, is I'm. It actually freed me up to try new things because I let go of some of the I don't know, the societal expectations of how things were supposed to be and how I was supposed to be and how I should be, you know, be acting, and all that, and I just find that a lot of that is falling away and I almost I feel more visible personally than I did when I was younger. But I will say that in some ways maybe I was hiding in ways when I was younger that I'm not hiding now, because the real Leslie comes through that authenticity we were talking about.
Speaker 2:They're wise. We get wiser as we age.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, so the the other group is sisters in widowhood. Tell us a little bit about that one tell us a little bit about that one.
Speaker 2:well, I was a very young widow and, um, I went through the grieving process on my own, I don't know. I just again. I was just authentic with my feelings and, um, I learned to survive the loss of a love, doing it my way. And it was really difficult, especially when my husband just keeled over one day and I'm in my 40s and I learned of his death by phone call. So it was extremely traumatic for me and extremely traumatic for my children. Um, and because I I like to, I like to do things like my facebook groups, it's because I'm, I experienced it. So if I go in there and write, or if I go into estrangement and write, or widowhood, or celebrate life which I do I'm an authority on it because I experienced it Right. So that's the reason I chose these groups.
Speaker 2:And becoming a widow is really devastating and you do survive because you don't have a choice right right and what I want these women to do, through the inner and through exchanging comments back and forth, is to thrive again it'll be different, but you can thrive again. You can always, always be sad, you can all have a sadness, this loss, but you can thrive again. But you must go through, which I did learn, and I learned this only by reading, that you must go through the mourning process Absolutely. If you don't mourn, and I don't know the reason why, you never, ever, really heal. But I don't mourn.
Speaker 2:And I don't know the reason why you never, ever really heal, but I don't know why. I've read why, but I don't. It sounds like you have to do these steps or you can't get better. It doesn't quite seem like it'll work, but you do have to do it and I think some women, uh, don't do it.
Speaker 2:I do recommend a certain book and um it, the name of the book is how to survive the loss of a love, but the first edition which could be. They may have to buy it secondhand, but that saved me. That book explained to me and I stayed alone for a year. I was with my children, that was it. I was with my dog, my children and myself and I mourned and that little book really was my guide and then I was able to implement it.
Speaker 1:So I recommend that book to people we will put that in the show notes along with you know the names of these, these groups as well, because I think it's important you know, please put first edition okay, first edition, yeah, and that First edition, yeah, and that cause, everybody's grief process is different too.
Speaker 1:And so, taking that time, I know my mom was a very young widow. My dad passed, she was in her forties as well and we were four kids. I was eight and so I watched her. You know I was the youngest and you, you know I watched her and I remember she used to say that people giving her counsel would say don't make any decisions for the first year, don't you know? Just as much as you can anyway, and just and just, and it took her a few years to go out and date again and all that and and was a all. My brothers were not happy about it and so on, but I mean it was, yeah, you know you gotta. You gotta live again at some point.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and people need people.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, it sounds like you just take what life presents you and you process it and live through it. And then you you think about how am I going to use this experience now to help others?
Speaker 2:You, pin it, you pin the tail on the donkey. That's exactly right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. Well, everything you've created here has been out of your own experience.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Everything. Yeah, yeah. Tell us as we start going into wind up mode, cause I want to respect your time. Tell us about the book you wrote.
Speaker 2:Oh my God. Well that. Let me start out by saying in a million years I would never have written a book. I never would have written a book. So one day I'm sitting at my computer and I'm just typing away and, of course, like all women, I got to look at my texts. I have to look at my emails because you know, we're so inquisitive and I see an editor from a major book company and I click in and it was really short and the message said I am an editor and I have been searching for a hip 21st century grandma to write a book. And you're it.
Speaker 2:I got up and I was running through the house and calling my husband, shelly. Shelly, I can be an author now. I can be an author now. Oh my gosh, I can't believe what's happening. So I called her and I emailed her back and I said I would be so interested in talking with you and she called me. We became friends. I emailed her back and I said I would be so interested in in talking with you and she called me. We became friends. I met her in New York. I, you know, I had breakfast with her. We wrote the book together, I the artwork we did together and, um, elena, would you bring me my book really quickly? There's a copy near my desk in the other room. Anyway, it was the most wonderful experience. The name of the book is Stories for my Grandchild and the name of the company is Abrams Press, this big house in New York, and they find me on the internet. I just couldn't believe it. And they picked me. I'm perfect for that. I am a 23rd century grandmother.
Speaker 2:Yes, you're modern patriarch I am, but it's just like the way I describe myself. I am not young, I am not old, I am timeless and that's how I really feel. So here's my little book and it shows all these flowers. And you know how I did it. I love nature. So, if you notice, the flowers are kind of abstract. And I went online and I typed in google what is the oldest flower in the world? And it was like a water lily growing in biblical times in the ocean, this flower. So I said, well, grandmas have been around for centuries. Can we do you know these flowers that I found on google? And this, this journal is actually and I'm not trying to sell my book, believe me but this is great also for estranged grandmothers, because this book is where a grandmother writes the history of her life. Abrams Press did this book I think 100 years ago, the first edition. That's how old Abrams presses.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:And they wanted to have 21st century grandmother to reinvent the book, and that's how they found me and that's why there's this little book. So what we added to the book, which wasn't in the original book, was a section.
Speaker 2:What I would not have done rolling up and another section is the advice that I would leave to my grandchildren. That was not in the original edition, and so stories of my grandchildren. I'll just read this really quickly. Sure, with the gift of this journal, your grandchildren will know you for more than kisses and comfort. They will learn about their family through your stories and, more importantly, about the values that they will hand down to future generations. So good. Yeah. So for grandparents or grandmas. They can't see their grandchildren, right, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's such a wonderful. I think it's such a wonderful gift to be able to give the family line to whatever you know grand one, grandchild, all the grandchildren, because it's and it's written. And I think, with so much you know, everything is so typed now with emails and this and that When's the last time you got a written letter? You are so wise?
Speaker 2:Oh, I write a story about that. The handwritten thank you note to teach that to their grandchildren. Yeah, people don't want to write anymore. This book, it's like. It's like journaling, it's cathartic. This book is not just for the grandchildren, it's for the grandmother to sit down and write.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it's cathartic for your grandma.
Speaker 2:You're a very wise woman.
Speaker 1:Thank you. No, I mean, these are just things. I mean I think that I've I've lived long enough and you remember, right, we remember what the written letter and the end there's energy in, and that when you write that and energy in that pen that's now touching the paper, and then now I'm holding it and and um, it just brings you closer. So I think it's a fantastic idea. And we have something else we got to make sure we include in the link, and I know I'm going to be picking one up, I don't have any grandkids yet, but I think there's one.
Speaker 1:We're getting close, we're getting close, we'll see, we'll see, I hope. Any final, as we wrap up here, any final what, when? When you think of meaning and moxie, how does that play out in your life?
Speaker 2:just don't be, don't be afraid to go out there in a little way, a medium way or a big way and use your moxie. You women have it. You've lived over 50 years. You're loaded with material in your brain. You don't have to reinvent yourself, just open up a new chapter and store. Open up a new chapter and store that's what I would say Just soar, you've got 15 more years or 30 more years or whatever. Right, right, right. Really, you've got so much right between your ears yeah, into reality.
Speaker 1:It's all inside. It's all inside Just waiting to be unleashed your unique story and your unique gifts and every woman has theirs every woman. Yes, yes. Well, honey, I think that's a great place to stop. I've so enjoyed this interview. It's been super inspiring for me and I know I'll be following you now on different social media I already am and checking out some of the other things.
Speaker 2:I will be listening to your podcast.
Speaker 1:Well, I appreciate that.
Speaker 2:I will definitely start following you. Yes, yes, you're charming, you're lovely.
Speaker 1:Well, right back at you. This has been really fun.
Speaker 2:And you're giving other women your podcasts, which will, which I'm sure is, enlightening them, and you're a force. You really are.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you, you know, you just kind of put it out there and you let spirit take care of the rest.
Speaker 2:I agree with you. I'm very spiritual.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Yes, very.
Speaker 1:Well, listen. Thank you so much. We're going to say goodbye for now, everybody. Thanks for listening and we will talk to you soon.
Speaker 2:Thanks, leslie, I so enjoyed myself and I so enjoyed meeting you.
Speaker 1:I'm yeah, I'm looking for the. My record button moved. I was going to. Oh, there we go, stop. If this podcast was valuable to you, it would mean so much if you could take 30 seconds to do one or all of these three things follow or subscribe to the podcast and, while they're, leave a review and then maybe share this with a friend if you think they'd like it. In a world full of lots of distractions, I so appreciate you taking the time to listen in. Until next time, be well and take care.