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Ep #137 The Three Mistakes That Destroy Connection: Stop Should-ing Your Kids

Andee Martineau - Podcaster, Best-Selling Author, Parenting Coach Episode 137

I recorded this as part of a five-day training I did for my League of Extraordinarily Connected Parents (which, by the way, is the BEST group of humans ever), and halfway through planning it, I thought, "Wait! EVERYONE needs to hear this!"

What You're About to Discover:

I'm spilling ALL the tea about the three MASSIVE mistakes I used to make as a parent (and sometimes still catch myself making because, hello, I'm human!). These are the sneaky little thought patterns that absolutely DESTROY our connection with our kids:

  1. The "Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda" Complex – Oh my goodness, I was QUEEN of this one! That mental loop of "they should have known better" or "they could have done this differently" that runs through our heads? It triggers our kids' nervous systems INSTANTLY. I share a story about getting pulled over by a police officer who taught me the most incredible lesson about setting boundaries without shame. Game. Changer.
  2. The "Please Just Listen!" Desperate Energy – Remember when my kids were little and I'd literally cross my fingers hoping they'd cooperate that day? That graspy, needy energy is REPELLING our kids! I share this wild story about a street performer who attracted HUNDREDS of people without begging anyone to listen. What if we could parent like THAT?
  3. The "I Can't Figure This Out" Self-Doubt Spiral – This one hits deep. That voice that says it's too late, we're not patient enough, we can't change? It's a LIE. I unpacked what true self-confidence really means (hint: it's not what you think!).

Here's the crazy part – I didn't even realize how these thought patterns were RUNNING MY LIFE as a parent until I started questioning them. Our thoughts create our emotions, which fuel our actions... and then we wonder why we keep getting the same frustrating results!

I challenge you to ask yourself:

  • Where am I "shoulding" my kids today?
  • Where am I being graspy and desperate for cooperation?
  • Where do I doubt my ability to change?

Connection over correction, always. ❤️

Let's do this parenting thing differently, Andee


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