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Connect Method Parenting I Conscious Parenting, Positive Parenting, Gentle Parenting, Connective Parenting, Peaceful Parenting, Slow Parenting, Parenting Teens, Single Parenting, Joyful Parenting, Positive Discipline, ADHD Parenting
Parenting advice on-the-go, with fun episodes that will make you laugh, cry, and feel better armed to be the parent you want to be! No punishments, rewards, or ultimatums required. (they’re actually discouraged).
Join your host Andee Martineau, founder of the breakthrough parenting framework Connect Method Parenting, as she helps parents discover why their kids don’t listen and shows them the step-by-step process of regaining influence and building relationships that will last a lifetime!
Connect Method Parenting I Conscious Parenting, Positive Parenting, Gentle Parenting, Connective Parenting, Peaceful Parenting, Slow Parenting, Parenting Teens, Single Parenting, Joyful Parenting, Positive Discipline, ADHD Parenting
Ep #169 Rewards Are Just Polite Punishments—Here’s What Works Better I Riffing On My Book (4)
🤯 What if everything you thought about rewards was BACKWARDS?
Remember that sticker chart gathering dust on your fridge? Those M&Ms you keep in your pocket for "emergencies"? That screen time you dangle like a carrot?
Yeah... about that.
In this mind-blowing episode, I'm unpacking:
✨ The Kentucky Study That Broke My Brain: 72 nine-year-olds proved rewards make kids WORSE at tasks (not better!)
✨ The Popsicle Meltdown Story: How I turned my nephew's epic tantrum into giggles in 10 minutes (without bribes OR consequences)
✨ Why Your Kid CAN'T Calm Down: It's neuroscience. (And telling them to "calm down" is like pouring gas on a fire)
✨ The University Secret: Why college students took 50% LONGER when offered money (I know, WHAT?!)
🎯 KEY TAKEAWAYS:
- Rewards kill intrinsic motivation (Alfie Kohn was RIGHT)
- Your tantruming toddler isn't giving you a hard time—they're HAVING a hard time
- Connection works faster than correction (every. single. time.)
- Play is the most underused parenting superpower
💡 THE MOMENT THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING: Picture this: Family reunion. 20+ kids. One screaming 3-year-old nephew rejecting his FAVORITE popsicle. Every adult is stressed. And then... I tried something different.
No timeout. No bribe. Just a swing under a pine tree and some silly games.
The result? Pure magic.
👉 YOUR HOMEWORK: Next time your kid melts down, skip the consequences. Try connection instead. Get low, make eye contact, and see if they'll play.
Then come tell me what happened on Youtube @connectmethodparenting
Want more game-changing parenting truth bombs?
- 📚 Grab my book "Connect Method Parenting" https://cmp.works/cmpbook
- 🎧 Binge the podcast, we're dismantling parenting myths one episode at a time https://cmp.works/apc
- 💪 Ready to transform your parenting? Check out Pivot at https://cmp.works/thepivot
Because here's the truth: You can't spoil a child with too much of what they NEED (connection). You spoil them with too much of what they WANT (stuff).
TIMESTAMPS:
- [0:00] The reward myth that's ruining everything
- [2:15] The 1961 study that shocked researchers
- [5:30] Why "calm down" is the WORST thing to say
- [8:45] The Popsicle Meltdown (you have to hear this)
- [12:00] The swing that changed everything
- [15:30] What kids REALLY need (hint: not stickers)
Next Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast
My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs
My IG: https://cmp.works/ista
