Ep #192 BE Goals

What if everything you've been doing to become a better parent has been backwards?

In this raw, real episode, I share a powerful revelation from my kitchen reorganization weekend (and a real-time call from my sick daughter) that changes everything about how we approach parenting goals.

You'll discover why your to-do lists and behavior strategies keep falling short—and the inside-out approach that actually creates lasting change.

The Do-Have-Be Trap:

• The exhausting cycle of trying to prove you're a good mom through productivity
• Why "if I just get the routine right, THEN I'll be patient" never works
• The moment I realized the equation was completely backwards

What BE Goals Actually Are:

• Goals that don't depend on your life being perfect
• Starting from identity instead of behavior
• Who you're BEING while cleaning the kitchen, when nobody notices, when your kids don't listen

The 4-Step Assumption Method:

Step 1 - I AM It Claim your new identity NOW. "I am a calm, connected parent." Your nervous system listens to every "I am" statement you make.

Step 2 - FEEL It Emotionally embody the state in your body. Your nervous system responds to emotions, not words. Spend 2-3 minutes feeling how you'd feel if this identity were already true.

Step 3 - REVISE It Reimagine past moments that contradict your new identity. Instead of replaying them in guilt, replay them differently to create new neural pathways.

Step 4 - LIVE It Make daily choices as if you're already that person. Drop the timeline. Assume it's inevitable and let reality catch up.

Create Your First BE Goal:

1. Thought Download: Write everything you want to do or create as a parent (10 minutes)
2. Circle Your Top 3: What matters most right now?
3. Pick ONE: Just one focus for the next 90 days
4. Name Your Identity: "I am the kind of person who..."

Your Daily Practice:

• Morning: Say your "I Am" statement out loud, feel it in your body
• Throughout the day: Notice when you remember your BE goal
• Night: Revise one moment—replay it how you wish it had gone

Reflect on This:

• Who do you want to BE when your child is melting down?
• Who do you want to BE when nobody notices what you did?
• Who do you want to BE for yourself when life refuses to cooperate?

Your answers to these questions are your BE goals.

You don't need to do your way into better parenting. You don't need more strategies or hacks. You need to start BEING the parent you want to be right now—today. Before your kids change, before circumstances improve, before anything looks different.

Be → Do → Have

That's the new formula. That's how change sticks.

This week, pick ONE BE goal. Write it down. Say it out loud. Feel it like your life depends on it. Live it the best you can. Watch what happens.

If you loved this episode, please subscribe and leave a review! It helps us get the word of Connect Method Parenting out to more parents who are ready to break the cycle.

Go connect with your kids! Love you lots.

Ready to go deeper with Connect Method Parenting? Join us for the October Pivot—an 8-week guided experience that transforms your parenting from correction to connection. Reserve your spot here → https://cmp.works/pivot

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