Imagine transforming every piece of feedback you give into a stepping stone for trust and growth—sounds powerful, right? That's exactly what we're unpacking in this episode, as we venture into the delicate dance of feedback within the workplace. By embracing feedback as a regular practice, rather than a dreaded confrontation, we unlock its capacity to bolster team dynamics, enhance performance, and lay the groundwork for enduring trust within our professional and personal relationships.
What if you could say the hard things you needed to your team without feeling stressed?
If you are ready to start your team on a journey of growth, you should listen to this episode.
To have your questions answered on the show, submit your story here: https://allthrive.ca/share-your-story
Leadership Ripples with Leah Fink is live every week at 5:00pm MST. Please join us to get answers to your leadership questions! https://www.linkedin.com/in/leah-fink-all-thrive/
Imagine transforming every piece of feedback you give into a stepping stone for trust and growth—sounds powerful, right? That's exactly what we're unpacking in this episode, as we venture into the delicate dance of feedback within the workplace. By embracing feedback as a regular practice, rather than a dreaded confrontation, we unlock its capacity to bolster team dynamics, enhance performance, and lay the groundwork for enduring trust within our professional and personal relationships.
What if you could say the hard things you needed to your team without feeling stressed?
If you are ready to start your team on a journey of growth, you should listen to this episode.
To have your questions answered on the show, submit your story here: https://allthrive.ca/share-your-story
Leadership Ripples with Leah Fink is live every week at 5:00pm MST. Please join us to get answers to your leadership questions! https://www.linkedin.com/in/leah-fink-all-thrive/
Every action you take as a leader has a ripple effect, starting with your team, going out to the organization and even out into people's personal lives. Here we offer you the chance to learn from real life stories of leadership so you can gain a deeper understanding and level up your own skills From communication to culture, to power and equity, to feedback, to resolving conflict and more. Join us and make sure you're creating the ripples you want. Welcome to Leadership Ripples with Leah Fink.
Speaker 2:Hello and welcome to Leadership Ripples with Leah Fink. Last episode we were talking about feedback in the workplace and feedback systems and, of course, this was such a big topic that we have to put it into a second episode, which is what this is. Last time we talked a little bit more about some of the current structures people are probably using and why they may be effective or not effective, and this week we're going into really three big pieces that you need to create an effective culture of feedback with your own team. So we'll go back really quickly to what TS wrote in. I liked your previous episodes about feedback and hoped you could help with my situation. I really resonate when you talked about not wanting to stir things up and instead choosing harmony.
Speaker 2:I know that I'm a people pleaser and I've always found it hard to say constructive things to my team and other people in my life. I currently have a staff member who's not been performing to a high enough standard. I feel like I've tried to hint at him that things need to change, but I don't think he's heard me, as nothing has changed. I know what I should be doing as a leader is giving him more critical feedback, but I'm still hesitant to do so. I don't want to have that conversation, but I also don't want this situation causing problems for my team. How do I start giving constructive feedback about problems that have existed for a long time? So thank you again for sharing that, ts, and we're going to, of course, dive deeper into it. And if this seemed a little bit different to you, like, why are we talking about feedback structures? It's because that is what this is about at heart. Although TS has this one specific piece of feedback with a specific staff about a specific situation, essentially one of the challenges that they have that's surrounding this is, feedback can feel like a really big deal when we don't have great systems and structures around it, because it is. It's suddenly now this sudden event that has happened and we really have to put specific thought into it and we have to consider all of these different pieces and it's a one-off, and what are we going to add to it? And that feels really big. And that's why we dove into these systems, into creating this culture of feedback, which actually, in the long run, makes it easier to talk about these harder things and strengthens your relationship at the same time, which is why I get so passionate about it.
Speaker 2:Now, I mentioned there are three main components that we're going to be talking about today. First, we do want to be creating healthy relationships and actually even improving them by giving more feedback, even though that might seem counterintuitive to some people. We need to be able to address challenges in a timely way, that we're not holding onto these things forever and ever and ever and never being able to address them. And finally, we want to make sure that feedback becomes about more than a conversation between a leader and a staff about things the staff needs to change. So that's including yourself, and getting feedback, that's including your whole team. Those are the three pieces we're going to talk about that are really what makes this effective and efficient.
Speaker 2:So let's start with the first point. How do we make sure that giving feedback and creating this culture actually creates a better environment where people like each other more, that is, their relationships feel stronger? One of the parts to this we did discuss last week and go into, which is this idea of feedback being an investment in relationship, that you care enough about how you're interacting with that person that you're willing to sit in this little bit of discomfort and awkwardness that might come with having these conversations. So the first piece is even introducing that idea to yourself, to your team, and getting this sense of buy-in that people do want things to be better. Now, of course, easier said than done there's lots of components to this but start talking, having these discussions. I know personally that I trust people more in my life when I know that they are willing to say something. If I do something that they maybe don't like or that's hurtful to them, I have way more trust because I can interact with them in a different way, knowing that if something's not working, they will tell me. That's what you want to create with your team that sense that it's a positive thing for them to know when things might not be working. So focus on that investment first.
Speaker 2:Now the other piece of strengthening relationship, which you touched on a little in past episodes, but not fully, is how critical it is to really create a positive feedback culture, and this is a point that I think a lot of people think they do better than they do, unfortunately, our brains, we know that we like the people around us, we recognize their positive attributes, we appreciate them for things and often, though, we don't actually speak that as much as we think we do. So people don't notice that and of course our brains have this negativity bias. They're naturally going to see the negatives, the hard pieces. They're looking out for danger. And so not only do we need to make sure that we are providing this positive feedback, but actually that it is in multiples of a much larger ratio than the constructive pieces were given. And you know, studies say five to one at a minimum. A lot of people think it's higher. So if I give five positive pieces of feedback and one piece of constructive feedback, that just balances out. So that's just the minimum you need to keep a healthy relationship, that someone thinks you like them at all, let alone are wanting to improve your relationship, that you care about this, and you can see.
Speaker 2:The classic example of this, I think, is if you look at relationships, your personal relationships. Maybe you have a partner or a spouse. How often do we start out a relationship? We're giving all this positive feedback. Everyone feels lovey-dovey because you're seeing these positives with people and you're saying lots of thank yous and I appreciate and all these great things. And then, as you've been in that relationship for a little bit longer, you start giving less of the positive feedback, you start noticing things that maybe you don't like as much habits that they have or different ways that they perceive things and suddenly you're talking more about those constructive pieces, and that's what you mentioned.
Speaker 2:And people don't feel the same way in a relationship. They don't, and we think about this with our staff team as well. How often do our staff get this genuine feeling of appreciation where we're noticing the positive qualities, where we're speaking to them, or are they just feeling like we're constantly that nagging force in their life who is just telling them those negative things? And I've talked to a lot of staff where this is a common experience. They think maybe their leader likes them, but they talk about getting way more negative, that their leader only talks to them about the things that they're doing wrong.
Speaker 2:So there's a couple things we need to do, obviously, to make positive feedback feel authentic as well, and one of the biggest things we talked about this is with some other feedback, as well as being really specific. So instead of saying something like you did a good job on that report, we want to dive into it a little bit more. So maybe I noticed that that report was really well organized and I liked the layout of it, which actually helped me when I was presenting it. So I really appreciate that. Or even on the more relational side, making specific comments like hey, I've noticed that in staff meetings you've been positively acknowledging your team members and I've noticed that people are interacting differently. I really appreciate that. That's so much different than saying you're a team player.
Speaker 2:And so when we start thinking about positive feedback, we really want to get specific, and this will also help you, because if you are going to start taking this on and using five pieces of positive to one constructive piece or more ideally than five, you don't want to be saying the same thing every time. Of course, that's going to feel inauthentic, it's going to feel boring, it's going to feel like they're not actually noticing the specific things this person's doing. So take that opportunity to really think about what this person is doing how are they positively contributing to the team and how can you acknowledge that? Because, of course, when you acknowledge this behavior, it also increases and continues, which is, of course, what you want. We want to create this positive feedback loop. Now, when you're talking about that positive feedback loop, of course we also want to talk about when we're going to be giving this feedback.
Speaker 2:I've talked before about maybe not loving the feedback send which so much and feeling like it's a big dump of things, but we do need to create systems, then, that allow us to provide this feedback in a time that it makes sense. We've talked before about one of the responsibilities of leadership really being creating structures for your team. That that's really important. So this is one of those places where you do want to create that structure. As Tess mentioned, one of the challenges that she might be having around giving feedback is there's not really, maybe, a structure that it feels natural and easy to provide this kind of constructive feedback in. So, once again, it feels like this big event, this big block.
Speaker 2:What if we switch this from a little bit of what we talked about last time? Often, people have annual, quarterly, maybe a monthly, review with their team lead and they expected to give all this feedback. But what if we switch that to something more like a weekly meeting, a check in with your individual staff member, and this doesn't need to take a long time and, especially starting out, as we're starting this practice, starting with that piece of positive feedback, this could take you 30 seconds, really quickly. What I wanted to share, still getting consent, even with positive feedback. Here's a good time to check in. I wanted to share that. I really appreciated this thing that you did this week, or I noticed something you did. Really great was this.
Speaker 2:So what you're doing with this is you start to build this space that is your weekly feedback meeting or you weekly check in whatever you want to call it Is. You're now creating trust because the staff member knows that there is a time that this is going to happen, so they can kind of mentally prep themselves. Is that something that's helpful? They know they're going to be getting feedback, which can also be helpful to know. And you're building trust because you're sharing that you do actually like them as a person, because if someone only ever gives you constructive feedback, how easy is it, with that negativity bias, to start thinking, wow, they must just hate me, they're probably trying to get rid of me, and so that those kinds of negative thoughts start coming. But now, instead, you're creating this trusting environment where you're building up all of these positive pieces. So when you do bring forward a constructive piece, which might happen right every couple of weeks or even longer depending on the staff and the situation, it's not this big horrible. I don't like you or it feels mean, it's just you shared something in the safe space.
Speaker 2:Now, for this to be actually effective, we need to make sure of a couple things, and the one is to prioritize this. Often feedback relationship. These things get kind of shuffled to the side as other tasks and responsibilities come along, and so if you are going to do this, if you're going to commit to weekly, bi-weekly, whatever it is regular meetings and check-ins with your staff, you need to make sure that they don't just get brushed aside Maybe they will need to get rescheduled once in a while but that you are prioritizing and you're making sure that you and the staff member are feeling value from it, that you're both interacting with it in a way that feels like it's meaningful to you. This is very much a model by example as a leader. If you are making sure to prioritize this, using specific examples and sharing this in a way that the staff member is feeling heard, acknowledged, valued, then they will value it and this will start to build and will start to grow.
Speaker 2:A quick side note for this I've heard this from leaders before. If you are thinking to yourself, you know that sounds great, but I actually don't interact with my staff on a regular enough basis or don't know enough about the specifics of what they do that I'm going to have something to say every week, and especially something specific. You don't see them on the day to day. You don't know exactly what they're doing. That can happen, and I would really encourage you to start looking at your role, the expectations of your role and organization around supervision, what you really want to be able to do to make sure that things are moving in a proper direction, and the way that you're hoping for in a cohesive way for your team. Maybe that's something you need to look at as well, because often an organization might have a role where you are a supervisor you're expected to supervise a team, but you don't have that connection with them or you're not given time to be able to check in. And, of course, if that's happening, how are you going to know what's happening? How are you going to be able to support that person? So start thinking about these questions, because it is a very legitimate challenge you might be having is not actually knowing who your staff are, what they're doing and how you can support them.
Speaker 2:And another piece we'll add onto this is actually going into our third point, which is how do we increase this idea of feedback from just a leader and a staff member to their whole team? Because maybe there is a staff member you see a bit less, but they work really closely in conjunction with some other people. So how have you created a system where those people can give each other feedback? And it's not all dependent on you. It's very, very helpful.
Speaker 2:Of course, this is simple to talk about, a little bit harder to do, might not be as easy, and what you want to do is you want to make space for this to happen, and this might be a little bit harder. You're not gonna maybe go and create one-on-one meetings for all of your staff every week where they're going to be talking to each other and giving each other feedback. Probably not realistic, might not be as effective, but, once again, you want to make regular space for this to happen and create a practice where your staff are going into this more and more, and so this could be at, maybe a monthly staff meeting that you are putting aside a block of time and encouraging your staff to give each other feedback. Once again, modeling and giving them some structure around this, especially at the beginning. So this might mean that you're going through a couple of rotations.
Speaker 2:Every rotation you're gonna have just a really simple prompt, like something I've noticed you do around the office, which I really appreciate is, or a way that you helped me this month is. Those kinds of prompts ask for, first of all, a little bit more specific than something I like is, or a more broad question, and they also once again start developing this positive rapport where people get used to this idea of giving each other feedback and it is a safe space and it is something I want for my coworkers. And maybe now I've created enough of this safety and trust that I might be willing to also now say that awkward thing or that thing. That is a little bit harder. And now I would certainly recommend, as we're building this into our systems, especially if this is a newer practice for your team have multiple staff meetings where this is all about, first of all, that positive building up, that reaffirming piece, and then, once that some of that trust is built, maybe you start throwing in some different statements, like something you could do that would help me is, or something could change that would improve our working relationship is, and the prompts start to get more into that vein of well, what could change between us? What could we adapt to make things slightly better. Now you have this piece where you have this positive, you're building it with the team, you've got these structures around it and we need to come to a really important piece, which is also how you get feedback as a leader.
Speaker 2:And I've said it before, open door policies very rarely works. There's so much that can get in the way of them, as it were. It is very hard for a staff member to say something to someone who has more power, like, say, their leader, and tell them that they're doing something that they don't prefer. And one of the benefits, too, of creating these different systems where you're giving staff members feedback is that they can also be great spaces for you to ask for feedback Specifically. If you are doing, say, a one-on-one weekly meeting with a team member is, once you've given that feedback, is very specifically asking for feedback for yourself.
Speaker 2:Because just assuming, just saying oh, I'm open to feedback, will probably not prompt that person to actually be able to give you that feedback. And even at first, there's some things you can do to make this a bit simpler. They might not know what to say to a leader. How to say it. You could ask things like when I get in in the morning, do you prefer it that I come check in with you first, or do you like a little space to work and start your day? Very simple question.
Speaker 2:Now they're getting the sense of okay, I can state a preference to my team lead. Maybe it's something like I notice you tend to communicate mostly via email. Do you prefer that to in-person meetings? Give them again a couple options. Once they start getting the sense that, first of all, it's okay to have opinions you actually want to know their opinions and that you have this safe space where you could share, where they could start to share, their feedback, you'll start to get better responses to this. You'll get the positive responses too, of course, and that's great for you as well, for your relationship with this person, because as leaders, we also want to feel liked, that we are acknowledged, that we're having this positive impact on people on our team, and so this is a great opportunity to not only get that positive but also those constructive pieces so you can keep improving your relationship with your team members just such a critical part of being a leader as well.
Speaker 2:So to bring that all together lots of different ideas today, ts, coming back to your question, what I would do is start to create this system within your team, something regular, where you are checking in, where you can start by giving the staff member that you're having some challenges with those pieces of positive, reaffirming the actions that you do want them to do and to continue doing. And then, as you start getting comfortable, as you've had these opportunities to create this space, you have a safe space now to say those things that might be a bit harder, and that's really what you're looking for is a safe space to be able to have those hard conversations that are a bit more awkward and not have them feel mean out of the blue because you have this whole structure around them. As always, of course, I will be following up with you after this, because there's details that we didn't want to discuss, live in front of lots of people, and so I look forward to that session to go a bit deeper into this. If you want to share your story on the show and learn a little bit more and explore your own leadership journey, I would love to do that. You can find the link in the description below so you can do that. And if you want to join us, live so you can comment and ask your questions, we would love to have you. The link for that is in the description below.
Speaker 2:I want to thank you so much for listening today, engaging in these kinds of important conversations, because often things aren't changing, not because we don't care about them, but because we don't know how to address the kind of change that we want. So thank you for taking part. I hope you have a great week. We will not be on next week with the holidays. I hope everyone takes some time to do some self-care as well. We will see you the week after that. A very happy holidays to all those who celebrate and take care.
Speaker 1:We hope you enjoyed the episode. Make sure to subscribe, comment and connect with Leah at meetleahca.