Indispensable People
Making the Gospel Accessible to people of ALL abilities so that they may know Christ, grow in Him, and serve Him with the gifts He has given them.
Indispensable People
Masking and Belonging: Supporting Teens with Disabilities
Teen disability ministry is a forgotten area between children's and adult ministries that deserves more attention. Teenagers with disabilities often engage in "masking"—hiding their natural behaviors to fit in—which prevents them from fully being who God created them to be.
• Over 65 million Americans have a disability (25% of population), but over 80% aren't in churches
• Teenagers primarily want to fit in, making disability and diversity challenging in these years
• Masking is a survival mechanism teens use to avoid bullying, stigma, and misunderstandings
• Logical/rigid thinking common in some disabilities creates special challenges with teenage communication
• Creating inclusive environments requires peer support networks and parental collaboration
• Churches should celebrate neurodiversity and validate each person's contributions
• Teens with disabilities need opportunities to discover and use their spiritual gifts
• The message we must convey: "You are loved, valued, have purpose, and belong"
For deeper dives into these topics and more, check out indispensable-people.com and visit Amazon to purchase the books the Indispensable Kid and Gospel Accessibility and the Indispensable People.
Hi, my name is Tracy Correll and welcome to Indispensable People. I'm a wife, mom, teacher, pastor and missionary and I believe that every person should have the opportunity to know Christ, grow in Him and serve Him with the gifts that he has given, no matter their ability. Over 65 million Americans have a disability. That's 25% of the population. However, over 80% of them are not inside the walls of our church. Let's dive into those hard topics, biblical foundations, perceptions and welcome to this episode of Indispensable People.
Speaker 1:Today we're talking about teenagers. Honestly, it's a topic that I don't hit really hard or very often. Maybe it's from the trauma of living with three of them or because it's really the unforgotten or the forgotten area of disability ministry. We talk a lot about serving kids. We say all the time that don forget they grow up so they turn into adults and we need to remember that adult ministry is just as important as kids ministry. But we kind of leave out that middle area, which really is very important and is pivotal in a lot of people's lives because so much changes. Serving with kids is fun. It is ever-changing, always growing, figuring something new out almost all the time. But when serving with kids and for kids and to kids. Kids tend to be a lot more moldable and welcoming and open and not as standoffish to certain things, and some of that starts to kind of wear away as they become teenagers and adults, and so the areas get a little bit trickier and we want to explore some various aspects of ministry specifically for teens with disabilities, including we want to understand different disabilities. We want to understand different disabilities. We want to think about effective communication strategies and creating inclusive and accepting church culture. We want to aim to equip church leaders, volunteers and congregation members.
Speaker 1:And here's the thing does that sound any different from kids and adults? Sound any different from kids and adults? No, but the considerations that we have to make within them is kind of the big piece. So the components, the considerations of accommodations are the same, but there is one major area that a lot of teenagers struggle with because they're teenagers, and that is simply the piece that they just want to fit. They don't want to stick out, they want to blend in for the most part, and diversity in teenager years seems to be the scary piece because, again, they just want to fit in. And so we want to think about different disabilities, like physical, intellectual, the sensory components, how they might impact a teenager and the diverse experience that they're going to have and what steps would build a ministry that really supports them and empowers them. And here's one thing that, as they're trying to blend, as they're trying to be just fitting in, there is this major thing and we've mentioned it previously on another podcast when I talked about a book and that's masking. And masking is actually something I think every single person on this planet does to some degree.
Speaker 1:You do it for different reasons and sometimes it's because, okay, I have a very boisterous personality. I do not, but if I did have a very boisterous personality but I am in a very professional situation, that boisterous personality needs to be harnessed to some degree because there is a particular reverence that's needed within the situation that I'm in, reverence that's needed within the situation that I'm in. So, to some degree, like we hold back and we protect parts and pieces of us and we don't let that all out in different situations, because that's kind of what's appropriate for you know, the different situations that we're in. We always have said you know, know like our kids since they were little we would. We would say people would tell us oh, you have such great kids. They have such great behavior. Um, you know, they always listen, they follow directions, they clean up after themselves, they do whatever. And my husband and I would joke and we'd be like our, our kids, you, the corals, you you sure, because you know that wasn't what we always received at home and other people would say, well, at least they're good for everybody else, right, and we don't have terrible kids. But you know, they all have pieces and parts, just as I do, that could use some improvement from time to time. But we often get really great reports about them outside of our home, and so we know that they know what's appropriate and in different circumstances, and home is a place of comfort, and so they let it all out, as it can be said.
Speaker 1:So anyway, going back to masking, it's the act of suppressing or hiding one's natural behaviors to conform to societal expectations, and, specifically for teens with disabilities, this can mean mimicking the behaviors of peers without disabilities to fit in, and so they are at a developmental stage where fitting in and being accepted by peers is often a priority. We've already said how important that really is, and for teens with disabilities, masking can really become a survival mechanism to avoid bullying, stigmas or misunderstandings, stigmas or misunderstandings, and in our previous podcast I spoke about those with autism and very logical rigid thinking, and many times misunderstanding is a key in that logical rigid thinking. It happens when sarcasm is used, when jokes are said and all that kind of stuff which is very frequent and common when considering teenagers. And I saw an ad for a show and it was about a young man who was diagnosed with autism and he was having conversation with his parents at the dinner table and he said to them, as he referred to them as mother and father, and said mother so and so was nice to me at school today. She was nice, but not as nice as you are. And then he said Father, does that mean that she likes me and that she's my girlfriend? So he went from, you know, kind of a very quick someone was kind to him to a very quick assumption, because his rigid thinking would be if, then if this person this, then it must mean this. And he said is that what that means? And he didn't need an explanation because in this situation, if he misunderstands her intentions, then it could lead to a very embarrassing situation, a very embarrassing situation and that becomes really difficult and very common and if that were to happen, then the potential of other students to make fun of him or to create a whole scene which then would be another layer of embarrassment and trying to protect that person and so just really helping, first of all, to foster a community within your youth group of understanding that everyone thinks differently and that's not a bad thing and that sometimes conversations may require a little bit more explanation, interaction, great empathy and compassion towards one another. And as you're building those students up to become more like Christ, those should be natural things that you are really working in and teaching them.
Speaker 1:So we wanna create that way of inclusion, that building of compassion, so that the need to mask and the need to protect oneself doesn't become the full focus, because if that's, you're living in a survival mode instead of thriving mode, and we don't want to put anyone in that place. We want to make sure that we are actively listening, not only with our ears but with our eyes, for those individuals who may have different abilities, who have maybe a struggle with that logical thinking, with that rigid thinking, and also maybe for looking out for those intellectual conversations, the misunderstandings that might impact their interactions. And a great, you know, a buddy, someone who can come alongside them, help them navigate the things that are going on, who will kind of be someone to look out for them. I mean, we do that in our youth group with new kids who are just joining in for the first time, where we would say to a trusted youth group member hey, so-and-so is new this time, would you hang out with them, introduce them to some new friends? That kind of stuff, something like that. To come alongside of that individual with a disability to help them engage and participate and feel welcomed and included, building that support network of peer supports. Also creating that parental involvement so that you're knowing if they're going home and saying you know things are going on, then those parents are communicating to you the needs and the feelings of things that are going on. But also so the parents can give you some insights, some open information, so that you can do best to minister and accommodate within your ministry setting you really want to collaborate with them to do that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1:No-transcript. Within that, we want to also help them to accept who they are. If they're consistently hiding, they're hiding who they were made to be and we can't be fully who God created us to be until we accept who we are. You can do that by celebrating the differences and highlighting those neurodiversity. It's not always, yes, some things are difficult and hindrances and cause difficulty in lives and misunderstandings and things like that. But there are also great things about who God made them to be and we want to celebrate that. We want to help them to connect with others who they can look after and see the potential of growth that could come. We want to affirm and encourage, we want them to know that they are called just as the next one to share the gospel, to be discipled, to grow in Christ, to be a part of the family of God, and we want to validate and really value their contributions to the ministry as a whole. They're not just there to receive, but they're also there to give and to serve. So we want to make sure that we are supporting them and encouraging them along in that way. We want to be with them to overcome challenges. We want to celebrate when they do. We want to walk through it with them as they're going through.
Speaker 1:They may be experiencing a lot of change in their life. As a teenager, they might have limited resources because they're a teenager and they are being expected to continuously learn and grow, and that's a lot of pressure on anyone, and so we want to be a support. Let them know that you and your leaders are outlets for them and that you are available and want to be there to support them as well their life, and help them to know that God has plans for them. And give them outlets, show them, walk them through spiritual gifts and help them to understand theirs and give them opportunities to serve, and do that through the ministry that you have. All of these things really come together to be a support, and the real main message is that you are loved, you are valued, god has purpose in your life and you belong. You belong as a part of the body of Christ, as an indispensable person, as someone that we cannot be without that.
Speaker 1:We would be lacking if we were, and that is the aim at which we kind of pull back our bows and get our arrows ready to hit those targets in serving teenagers who don't need to hide who they are, who don't need to mask um who they are, but they need to um accept, they need to grow, they need to be discipled and they need to find their place to serve in the body of christ, and they get to do that within the environment that you have created, that you have set up for all students to come to a knowing, saving and loving relationship with Jesus Christ. Do I know everything about disability ministry? Do I have all the answers? Have I done everything perfectly? I have absolutely not, but we are going to continue this conversation so that people of all abilities can have the opportunity to know Christ, grow in Him and serve Him with the gifts that he has given them. For deeper dives into these topics and more, check out indispensablepeoplecom and visit Amazon to purchase the books the Indispensable Kid and Gospel Accessibility and the Indispensable People.
