FAQ: From Labels To Stories: Seeing The Whole Person

We tackle a frequent question: how to guide kids’ curiosity about disability without causing harm, while building a church culture where people feel seen and welcomed. We share practical scripts, mindset shifts, and a path from labels to stories that supports gospel accessibility.

• scale of disability and church non-attendance in the U.S.
• why diagnoses inform care but never define a person
• two common preferences about questions and how to read them
• be genuine and introduce yourself like you would anyone
• compliment and converse in everyday moments without singling out
• avoid snap judgments about invisible disabilities
• assume competence and adjust based on body language
• teach story-first questions instead of medical questions
• simple kid-friendly scripts that respect consent
• curiosity as a doorway to belonging and gospel access

If you want to dive deeper on your own, you can check out the Indispensable-People blog or my books on Amazon called The Indispensable Kid or Gospel Accessibility and the Indispensable People

Transcript

Why Disability Access Matters

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Hey, hey, my name is Tracy Coral and welcome to Indispensable People. I'm a pastor, a teacher, a missionary, a mom, a wife, and I believe that every person should have access to the gospel so that they can know Christ, grow in him, and serve him with the gifts that he has given. Over 65 million Americans have a disability. That's 15 to 20% of every community. And over 85% of those individuals do not attend church. 90% of pastors believe that they are a disability-friendly church, but only 20% of parents and families agree. Let's dive deep into hard topics, big questions, perceptions, stereotypes, and so much more. Hey, hey, welcome to today, and I am so glad that you have joined me. I am excited to share with you about this next question in our series of frequently asked questions. We are sharing in the questions that people have submitted, our listeners, our readers, our supporters to ask questions about serving people with disabilities. And we figure, listen, if they ask the questions, you probably have the same question too. Or not, at least, will it be expanding our knowledge and our understanding as we go forward in learning and keeping this conversation going? And so today's question is kids are curious, what are appropriate ways to help kids understand individuals with disabilities that won't offend? Well, here's the deal: you're going to experience all kinds of different people with different expectations of how people speak, interact, and ask questions. And you're going to have those who say, Listen, I don't want you to ask me about me. I don't want you to interact or focus on my disability. And I will tell you that that is a smaller population of people. So I don't want that fear to kind of creep in and go, well, this person only wants to talk to me and ask me about things because of my disability. On the flip side, you will have people who are like, yes, please ask all the questions because I'd rather you understand. So I am not so different that the focus becomes all in me. I want to normalize who I am and who other people like me are so that we can be accepted and included. And I would say that that is a bigger population of people. Now I understand both things. People with disabilities are much more than individuals with just disabilities, right? One of the things that I do often at trainings is I'll ask people to write down one word that describes them. And they'll struggle because one word is really, really hard to come up with to describe a whole person, right? And so with that, I explain to them that a label that a person has because of their disability will never fully describe them. A lot of times we want parents to give us their diagnoses. We want to have information about that diagnoses, and that's what we want to live off of. But the truth is, yes, there are certain things that apply to different types of disabilities that will help inform us, which will then help minister to that individual based on some of that understanding. But that is not the full picture of who they are. So I understand the side where they're saying, listen, all you're seeing me for is my disability. But I also appreciate the other side who says, Let me educate you so you can better understand me. One takes us further, one kind of gives us a stopping point. And so that leads us into the first recommendation of just be genuine, like be yourself. Don't hide from it, don't hide from them. Really kind of dive into like, hey, this is who I am. This this is what I was wondering about. How does that work for you? Can you tell me what that looks like for you? Can you tell me what you like? Can you tell me what you don't like? Can you tell me how your help me understand you? All of those kinds of things. I had just a really great lady ask me the other day. She said, Sometimes when I see a child in the grocery store that has a disability, I will purposefully approach them and say and like, you know, give them some kind of a compliment. And I just told her, do what you naturally would do. If I see a cutie kid in or a little rambunctious kid or a naughty kid in the grocery store and they make eye contact with me, listen, I was a first grade teacher. I'm gonna chat with that child in the most respectful, comforting way for a parent. So it wouldn't be natural for me to interact with that child and to say something really cool about them to send them on for the rest of their day. So absolutely do that. Now, if you're only seeking out people with disabilities, that's kind of strange in the sense of we're singling them out and we are focusing on their disability only. Just be a good person to all people and take those opportunities to get to know them and share and introduce yourself. The other thing is don't judge. A lot of times, especially this happens especially with kids. There are a lot of invisible disabilities, which means we physically cannot see those disabilities. And sometimes we'll just think he's a naughty kid, he's a bad kid, they're this, they're that, and we don't want to have those judgments. We also um go back to the conversation we had a few podcasts ago about assuming competence. We don't want to assume that they can't speak to us, we don't want to assume that they can't interact, we don't want to assume that they can't understand. Because I would rather try and not get it right than not try at all, right? Because isolation comes from not trying. And trying at least shows that you care. And here's the thing: we gauge interactions on a regular basis. You have conversations with people and you adjust the way that you speak, that you act, where you're standing, all of that kind of stuff based on their comfort levels that you see in their body language. You're gonna do the same thing as you interact with someone with a disability. You're gonna see through their body language what makes them feel comfortable and uncomfortable, and you'll be able to adjust based on that. Here's another piece, just kind of a recommendation as you are getting to know them. Saying, starting off the bat with, hey, what's your disability? isn't always going to be key. But when you start with something like, hey, can you tell me your story? That is such a broader conversation that you get to have that really deep down helps you to get to know them. It goes beyond the disability, although I'm sure the disability is a part of that, but you get so much more from that. And then they see that you care about them as a whole person, not just their disability. But again, I'll go back to the confirmation that more people want you to ask questions, more people want the curiosity to happen. And coming from a kid in that direction or teenager is a lot easier, I think, than an adult because there's more understanding. But we all have to ask those questions. We all need to be curious, not because we need to know their medical history, but because we care about God's people and his creation and we want to make the gospel accessible. So making the gospel accessible means opening up conversations, helping to understand people and seeing their the full picture of who they are and engaging in that and having those incredible conversations that open the door for gospel accessibility. And that is the key. We're gonna keep this conversation going. We're gonna make the accessible gospel available to individuals with disabilities in our churches and in our communities so that every person has the opportunity to know Christ, to grow in him, and to serve him with the gifts that he is given. If you want to dive deeper on your own, you can check out the Indispensable People blog or my books on Amazon called The Indispensable Kid or Gospel Accessibility and the Indispensable People.